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.■ ■ ■■■■■■:•■ Seven jeans Trina Turk BCBG Tibi Catherine Malandrino Kate Spade I Trish McEvoy cosmetics i|l and much, much more. Book CONTINUED FROM PAGE 2 ficiently desperate, women see potential boyfriends everywhere. For some reason, this insight could not be successfully de rived from the word “desperate.” Tragically, life some times involves lower ing your standards and making tough de cisions. Being single means “hpincr alnnp fnr py tended periods of time,” a state the author probably finds herself in. A lot of good co medians have made light of singlehood. Chances are they have avoided sugges tions about how to use single time - like “snorkeling, crochet, and suicidal ideation.” According to Chocano, the meaning of sex is really different now, if you haven’t 'noticed. She even wrote an unfunny little contract that you can sign before sex, stat ing that the two lovers are not required to think of one another after sex, and the act by contract implies no emotional attach ment at all. It might be useful if you haven't already thought of this and every other overdone relationship joke. She even redoes the old idiom about how you won’t buy the cow if you get the milk for free. People, she writes, “decline to purchase livestock when their dairy products are obtainable gratis. Someone tell this relationship columnist to be quiet for a while. She wrote for Salon.com, which should probably rank hieh on some top 10 list about how the mighty have fallen. There, she has covered television and some entertainment news since 2000. It has the pleasant side effect of giving her one big red flag of a fan base. Take it from one Richard Gleeves, who wrote to Salon.com, “I’ve fallen in laugh with Carina Chocano’s writing. Will it go out with me?” Yes, yes it will. Comments on this story?E-mail gamecockmixeditor@hotmail.com — What is love, anyway, aside from a liquor-fueled period of psychosis? CARINA CHOCANO AUTHOR OF "DO YOU LOVE ME OR AM I JUST PARANOID?" 1224 Pendleton St. Columbia, SC 29201 (803) 254-1507