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©2^o» i M/U* Kctu_6g.o€>*WC I FORBIDDEN WORM 20011 _ __ __ _ i ijjp) 'conPass,okA /CuTHtoA / E~ \ ('cn/vA KzottJ j^g'' tr-josri^ AuS-nceA '"Justice"'' [re^oust, ~~"' /OM160SH\ (tocftMfZA f?ER ^wA Pel2ouO that is ') LPAfiftM£T&Rj U&jotsrtj ^~v— .---^ TWE\/<ffKHMt , AUWAOTfcW UHflTEv^fcl VOfO cP»M^y o>u^p 3 v —^ y c? ■* l £ % © F ? * 5 I \ 0 Captain Ribman BY JOHN SPRENGELME YER AND RICH DAVIS If you’re puny or skinny, read on! Let Me Prove That Your Money Can Make You A New Mon! Are you envious at guy* tike me? Tired of seeing nuucle houud butties gel more than their fair share? Well you can be as big a Jerk as your wallet desires! For ki« Hum Kli>IViMlt $140.0!. eon’ll never take a back weal to artists and '■jE'mlJe' musicians again. And that’s a promise.* WarnOr; Buy My Video "Squat Ana Flex Like A Man" And watch the babes melt right before your very eyes! 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COUPON * Maxuik UM «UOO I-1 : LJ video-- Squat and Flex Ufcc A Man (Comb Included) ! ! fi-U) Name.Credit Cat* A. ! J Checking Acre A.Savva** Acres. ] • By imkrait thn >Mtw I In mu •«< hutd my kero RifcMaa mpmutbiv tor aaytbmR- •'»«! Cnk only. J I nt by randy regier l »_il ii, uii k ut-J^au-iii .nr 1 i ii 1 "■ III »I) .iuiB I1 ■) ' HI Mil GRASSROOTS THE PRIMARY THE BIG CAMPAIGN. DEBATE. I- - ••• -I _ rue K. a°U>*i£LZS Mj»SA!riMW(lB5oti5Ea 5oHewm®e®''3K .-jmwourtc.. L_ aas&gs&a* tATfnrw© Copy OF fflWEdRtftf ciakic n<n£l flrtunfltfftftn... I :s ? f s i s I If 5 I 1 CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 Handsome guy 7 For what worth 10 Honolulu’s island 14 Abrogate 15 Kernel 16 Yard parts 17 Common houseplant 19 Londoner’s streetcar 20 Shout to surprise 21 Not close minded about 23 Bother 24 Health resort 27 Precedes in time 29 Outsider 31 Final degree 32 Out in the open 33 Language of Bangladesh 35 Sicilian volcano 37 Easter item 38 Alamos, NM _ .MB_4 qq l Krnmn ©2001 Tril>une Media Services. Inc 9/10/01 39 Light brown All rights reserved. * w iu/w i HU CUUUdllUII minded grp. 43 Legendary tale 6 Potpourri Solutions 44 and Heloise" 7 Purpose 46 Saps 8 Reverse a 49 Sphere situation 51 Tomlin and Pons 9 Condition 52 Of a religious 10 Frequently, ritual poetically 54 Name for a lion 11 Ventilate 55 That woman 12 Soccer shot 56 Strainers 13 Maximum 58 Extinct bird 18 Brunch choice 61 Crow calls 22 Comic Rosie 63 Sparkling 25 Cribbage piece 66 Type of code or 26 Thorough rug examination 67 Fellows 28 “Mogambo” star 68 Line of inquiry Gardner 69 Karl or Harpo 29 Jurist Fortas 70 Snacked 30 Part of a tour' 71 Flip do-over 34 Straw drawn 36 Keyboard key 46 1980 FBI 53 Greek letter DOWN 40 White-maned investigation 57 Play lead 1 Part of U.A.E. golden horse 47 North Africa, 59 Obligation * 2 Mexican money 41 Make an effort mostly 60 Matures 3 Standing against 42 Promos 48 Volcano, at -62 Rock instrument 4 Hilo garland 43 Encountered times 64 Mother of Seth 5 Highland boy 45 Fabrication 50 Deep gorge . 65 Butterfly catcher HOROSCOPES TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (SEPT. 10). Would you like to work out of your home? This year, it just might be possible. If you’re willing and able to do the job perfectly, stick to a schedule without being reminded and pay for your own insurance, you can make it happen. It’ll be wonderful sometimes, but occasionally, it’ll be horrid. By the end of the year, you might be so frustrated with a difficult client that you’re ready to give up. Don’t. Just demand what you’re worth. You’ll get it. To get the advantage, check the day’s rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) - Today is an 8. Are you stuck in a dead-end job? Do you believe you have talents you haven’t developed? Talk with a friend. You’re closer to a great idea than you realize. Ask questions. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) - Today is a 6. Despite your best efforts, the money doesn’t stretch as far as you’d like. Don’t give up. A brilliant idea or suggestion from an older person inspires your creativity. Be bold! GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 21) Today is a 9. You’re so cute, you can get away with almost anything. You might provoke a little jealousy from someone who’s not doing quite as well, so be careful. On the other hand, this might keep you from getting arrogant. CANCER (JUNE 22-JULY 22) - Today is a 5. A worry about a sibling and a worry about getting something you want will dissolve simultaneously tomorrow, so don’t get too wrapped up in your concerns. It turns out there’s enough money after all. LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) - Today is a 7. At first, it looks as if you can’t accomplish what you and your friends have in mind. This doesn’t happen often because you and your friends never give up. Your perseverance will pay off. VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Today is a 5. You have a natural talent for taking care of others. If you can figure out what an indecisive older person wants and then provide it, you could earn a nice bonus. It might only be a smile, but that counts, too. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT 22) Today is an 8. You sure do have a way with words. Your smile is a great help, too, and it helps cheer up a grumpy older person. You might even act as a matchmaker for a couple offriends. If you like them both, they’ll probably like each other, right? * SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) - Today is a 5. Continue your negotiations. A trick that sometimes works is to walk away from the deal. Pretend you don’t want it any more. It actually works best if you really DON’T want it. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) - Today is a 6. Something you were afraid might be impossible does, in fact, turn out to be impossible. But something good happens, too. Don’t worry about setting a tight schedule, because things won’t go according to plan anyway. Hang loose. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) - Today is a 6. The work is tough, but should pay welL If you’re saving rather than spending, that counts, too. If need be, stay late, get the job done. An . outing goes better tomorrow. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) - Today is an 8. The good news is that you and your partner can talk about anything and work out a good compromise. The bad news is that there’s not as much money as you had hoped you’d have by now. The good news is, you won’t need it. PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) - Today is a 5. Have you noticed an urge to fix up your place? A new piece, a new computer or . perhaps a whole new abode? If your environment is challenging your imagination in a negative way, maybe it’s time for a move. Check the ads NEWS OF THE WEIRD THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE CALL, IDIOT: A man called Colorado police to taunt them, saying he had stabbed a woman to death five years earlier and was still “on the loose.” He said he just wanted to “let you know, I’m back.” The cops traced the call to a motel in Denver and arrested him. OH YES, DEAR, I’M LISTENING, OUCH!: After returning at 3 a.m. from a drunken party to celebrate his birthday, an Ontario, Canada, man got into a ferocious argument with his common-law wife. The shouting and shoving ended abruptly when she grabbed him by the testicles and yanked so hard, he had to be rushed to the hospital. Once he recovered, he limped into court to ask the judge not to lock her up, explaining that she sometimes grabs him like that to get his attention. She was charged with aggravated assault. OR MAYBE HE’S LOOKING FOR A DATE: Tourists returned to their camp on the Norwegian Arctic island of Spitsbergen to discover that a polar bear had visited in their absence and stole no food but sucked the contents out of a tube of toothpaste. Arne Kristoffersen, of the Svalbard Wildlife Service, said, “Maybe he felt he had bad breath after eating seal all summer.” BRAVO! ENCORE!: Fauzi Hamid, arrested in a raid in Malaysia, had no identity papers. He was hauled into court on suspicion of being an illegal immigrant from Indonesia. He denied this. To settle the matter, the judge ordered him to sing the Malaysian national anthem, “Negara Ku.” He did it so well, the judge stopped him after four bars and let him go Like what you see? Let us know! E-mail: gamecockmixeditor@liotmail.com