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I Bowser's I j Natural History i J But His Writing Will Never Z See Print. Z I By M. QUAD. CopyriKlit, U?K>. by the MoClure Newspaper Syndicate. After Mr. Bowser liad suioked awhile after dinner he blandly said to Mrs. Bowser: "There was a gentleman in the office this afternoon who gave me a bright idea, and I have started to act upon it." "You are always acting upon somebody's bright ideas," she replied, with a little sarcasm in her voice. "Oh, well, if you are going to talk that way at the beginning we won't talk at all." "But 1 want to hear about the bright idea. You are always looking for it, and perhaps you have struck it this time." It took Mr. Bowser two minutes to get over the little jar to his feelings, and then lie said: "The gentleman told mo that there was a new magazine coming out. It is to bo called the Naturalist. Its contributors are to be pa hi 40 cents a word, which is the highest price any contributor was ever paid. Two words and a ! half. .Mrs. Bowser. represent $1. When a man can write a 500 word contribution in an hour, perhaps you will agree that it is rather a bright idea." "1 certainly will," replied Mrs. Bowser. "You interest me. 1'lease tell me all about it." Mr. Bowser pursed his lips, put on an air of great dignity and took from his pocket a manuscript and unfolded it. Then he said: "After the gentleman left the office I turned to and dashed off the fol lowing article. it came to me as easy THE RABBIT AH A HW1MMKR. as grease, and it. reads to me like a dream. Listen closely, Mrs. Bowser, and do not interrupt me. My subject 4o 1?~ -oLWU 1 ?- " * * * o uic KiLiuiu una uere is woaii wrote: " 'The rabbit is found in every part of the United States. " 'He is a white and gray auiniul about as large or a little larger than the cat " 'He is a very harmless animal and no Incident has yet been recorded where he has attacked a human being. " "The principal diet of the rabbit is beefsteak and smoked ham, but when pressed by hunger he will eat cranberries. sour apples and potatoes. ! Cases have been known where he ^filched nud carried off from a house mince pies and strawberry shortcakes. " 'That the rabbit might some time want to climb a tree after chestnuts, nature made his fore legs much the longest that they might reach around the trunk of a tree. " 'The mother rabbit brings forth thirty-two offsprings at a birth, and therefore there is^not much danger of the rabbit becoming extinct for a long time to come. " 'The rabbit has been known to follow a country schoolma'am for three miles on the highway in broad daylight, but he offered her no violence and was probably actuated by curios- i ity alone. " "A rabbit can run at the rate of fifty miles an hour when pursued by a dog. When pursued l?y two dogs his gait is double that of course. " 'Kubbits have been known to swim across a lake three miles wide. " 'If a quart of sweet cider is placed at the back door at night two or three rabbits will come and drink It all up before daylight, and they will be found a short distance away in such a state of intoxication that they can be gathered up without trouble. " 'The alleged rabbit pie served out at hotels and restaurants is made only q/ mutton and is an Insult to Bunny and should he stopped by tho law. " 'A rabbit has been known to live to the age of eight years, but. he was owned by an old maid who fed him on taffy and gave him a feather pillow to ! sleep on. The average life may be . given nt four years. At the end of that time lie lias had fan enough to be glnd to go. " 'The rabbit fur can be so dyed that a garment made of it can be called otter, beaver, lynx, mink or sealskin, and the animal is not praised as he should be. " 'The rabbit has no tall to speak of. Nature made him thus that he might -? - ... i i STING OF THE AGY. M K Madagascar Plant That Can Brivi Man Mad With Pain. -tJiioiiK the many peculiar and dls concerting plants and creatures thai abound in Madagascar, probably none Is more surprising and disconcerting than the ugy tree, so called, which 14^* not a tree, but a climbing plant. Tbcfl Following incident, quoted by Mr.L James Slbree, F. It. G. S., lu "A Naturalist In Madagascar," illustrates the?W [laiuful result of contact with the agy. The story fs told by a Mr. Montgomery: Walking under some trees and pushing aside the reeds and grass, I was -tartled by a sudden tingling andiY not be caught and held fast wliile going through the thickest of thorns. "'Ills large ears were placed on his ( head for ornament, the same as a mule's. " "Any one curryiug a rabbit's foot around in his hind pocket is sure to have good luck.' " Mr. Bowser silently folded the manuscript and returned it to his pocket and looked at Mrs. Bowser and asked: "Can you deny that the gentleman gave me a bright idea and that I have not worked it up to the best advantage V" "Mr. Bowser," said she In reply, "you might have both hind pockets and all other pockets in your clothing stuffed full of rabbit's feet and they would not be sufficient to get that article accepted even by a family almanac!" "By George, woman, what are you saying!" he exclaimed. "Keep cool, sir?keep cool! Don't go to shouting or gesturing or getting unduly excited. If the editor of the Naturalist should ever receive such a contribution and lie had a supply of pens and ink handy and had a little time to write, he would answer: " 'It is estimated that the rabbits of the United Stales pull down and devour at least l.OOO persons a year. " 'No rabbit was ever yet known to eat mince pies. They prefer custard pies. " 'The hind legs of a rabbit are the longest, as you ought to have known. They were made thus that he could climb a tree wrong end to and be all ready to come down again with promptness and dispatch if alarmed. " 'You are mistaken about tlie number of offspring at a birth. It is lot) instead of thirty-two. This is that the rabbit may in time crush out all the beef trusts. " 'No rabbit was ever satisfied with running fifty miles an hour. He started right off the mark at a pace of 125. If there were two dogs after him lie 1 went so fast that the human eye could 1 not detect him. 1 " 'All the rabbits in Ohio and Michi- 1 pan swim across Lake Erie twice a 1 day for the fun of the thing. < " 'No rabbit with any self respect < would get drunk on sweet cider. You i must set out old rye or dry champagne, i " 'Your rabbit pies of the restaurants J and hotels not only contain mutton, but 1 beef hash, ham hash, veal hash or < other kinds of hash. The rabbit needn't l feel insulted at the name. ] " 'Nature did not give the rabbit a tail 1 because he was the last animal made i and there were no tails to spare. 1 " 'A rabbit was given large ears not for ornament, bat that he might hear all the gossip going on in the woods. You may have observed many women with ears almost as large. " 'As to rabbits' feet bringing good hick, more than 10,000 men arcfidrowned every year with their pocket^ stuffed 1 with the tokens. Better cuny^kround with you the tip of a donkey'sBaiL' "That's what he would tkinft%>f your 1 bright idea, Mr. Bowser." saB Mrs. J Bowser as she finished. 1 mr. Dowser sat wun nis month half open and the glare of a ferocious pan- J ther in his eyes, but be answered never 1 a word. | "You had better have written of the rhinoceros in Africa, for you know as much about him as you do of the rabbits of the United States." ' There was a decided twitch to Air. 1 Bowser's ear like a horse that is trying to make out a sound. ' "We have three different works on natural history hi the house, and yet 1 you have never opened one of them. ' You broadly state that his fore legs are * the longest Our butcher has half a 1 dozen hanging outside of his door ev- ' ery day. One glance of your eyes 1 would have told you that you were 1 wrong. All the other statements in your article are equally as absurd. In 1 fact, Mr. Bowser"? "Yes, my lady, in fact!" repeated Mr. Bowser, as he rose up and started for * the hall tree. * "Are you going out?" was asked. There was no answer. Mr. Bowser * got into his overcoat and hat and banged the front door after him. He was not going to hunt the ferocious rabbit nor let the rabbit hunt him, but he wanted to walk and think over that bright Idea which the gentleman had so kindly given him and which Mrs. Bowser had jumped on with both feet. As lie walked he brought up at the drug store on the corner. lie didn't enter the store, but stood outside xtuuiiiea over as neon me a rorioru bus- ' baud. The druggist saw hlui through 1 the window and came to the door and < asked: 1 "Bowser, is there anything wrong?" < "Naw," was the gruff reply. i "1 thought there was. old man, from > your looking so used up. I think I am i right. 1 think you and Mrs. Bowser i Ivave had a discussion, and you have 1 come out <>!' n with the loss of one leg. as usual. <;?? home, Bowser?go home and be glad that yon have got such a smart wife." Wrong Suit. i "But," she objected, "you're a Jack of all trades." I "Thou art the queen of my heart," t he reminded her, "and the queen takes r the Jack." Refusing, however, to be impressed with litis argument, the maid insisted on a new deal.?Judge. i i Nothing Wrong. t "I want to lick my teacher," I hear a yd\ing chap Ray. . I looked upon the creaturs With traces of dismay. 1 1 "A fine ambition truly," I muttered to this lad. "To find one thus unruly Is very, very sad." "Oh. put your law in plaster," The lad replied with vim. f "I meant my boxiDg master; e It's all right to lick him." ?Kansas City Journal. prickling sensation over the backs off* my hands and fingers. I stopped Inl sudden surprise, for the pain was se-| rere. and 1 had touched nothing ?X-L opt the grass. Ilut in another nilnutefr the pain increased, the tingling, bunvp* ing sensation seemed to be extending! rapidly up my wrists, and I could see} nothing to cause it. As I lowered myj v Itead to look scalding pain shot into my|4' ail's and neck and grew worse every!. instant. Hazed and bewildered. I stood*/! i few seconds in helplessness, for 1 ould neither see nor guess at the cause nf t lie terrible distress. Then I got Pack to my company with agony writ* ten plain enough on every line of my face. The men started up when they suw^ ate, crying, "You have been stung bjr the agy!" Some of them led me to n [ seat, others rushed for water from the |" river, and two or three brought sand I ! !ieai>ed up in their hands. Then thejrt' liufed me with the sand aud water { take out tlie stinging hairs, which they knew caused the mischief. As I1 they rubbed me I felt the pain abate, rind after they had chafed me for ibout a quarter of an hour I was com rtaratively free from pain. While the ' v men were rubbing me I was abl^^to 0 discern to some extent the cause of my a iistress. Countless hairs, like tiny ar- 0 rows, almost transparent, pointed at either end and from a third to a fourth ^ of an inch long had dropped on me in'| f in invisible shower from the agy tree ^ is I stood under it. Before I came lway that afternoon, tery cautiously? -<1 ? rentured to examine the tree at a little , ^ distance and found that the tiny hairs j ;rew outside a tbickish pod or shall ' not quite so large as a small banana. The pods were fully ripe (unluckily for ^ me) Just at that time, and the light j wind was scattering their coverings. JSTORY OF A MEAN MAN. Gs ; ^ la The Millionaire Who Refused a Loan to Ja Alexander Dumas. ' fir "The meanest man I ever knew.V mid Mark Twain to a fellow traveler. * -' tie met on shipboard, "lived in Haqnly" t>al. He sold his son-in-law tha ha(H/ marc or a cow and then refused 't'dfW1 ;ive him any milk because he had only<P0 sold him the front half." en Well, tiiat story may be apocryphtl, although there are lots of men wjio rise to its standard of meaqness, bit ihe following Is true: When Alexander *ri Dumas the elder was short of cash le ' wrote a charming little note to a mb or llonulre who was proclaimed in evey 8?< :>aper to be a model of generoslfc-. t,c> Dumas ended his letter with sone or verses, half jocular, half serious. In or< Pact, the letter was a literary gem. ^ra This financier, who respected literary 1 tnen for their talents, but had lithe( jllr trust in their power or will to pay their Jebts, refused Dumas' request. Tie same evening he entertained some men )f letters at his mansion, and the con r"1 rersatiou turned 011 the value of auto . ' jmphs. tu! "Have such trifles a commercial ^ j rulue?" asked the millionaire. "Certainly." replied one of the guest* 'A letter by Hugo or Lamartine or4 , 3autier is more tban worth its weight n gold." Ju eX{ "Aud a letter by Dumas?this one. 'or instance?" "I will give you 5 louls for it?" "Agreed!" b,( And that generous, flattered milliou* tire financier, who had been making largains?and nothing else?all his, / ife, sold for more than 100 francs the 1 ettcr of Dumas, whom he had refused o oblige lu the morning. Could meaniess go further??Pearson's. ^ ? . f One Way to Cut Braes. To cut sheet brass chemically thefol owing method meets with great success: Make a strong solution of bichlo- sh ide of mercury in alcohol. With a as luill pen draw a. line across the brass . where It is to be cut. Let it dry on i;u<fr with the same pen draw over this line with nitric acid. The brass may tain , >e broken across like glass that lias. 1PPII flit Will, n n " ^ .. nil II VUC& IUIM111. fb AUIlll , tn Recommendation Not Naceaaary. ^ *'So you're going to leave us. Mary?" "Yes, mum. I've got to." ^ "And do you want me to give you a or etter of rec ommendation?" m "It ain't necessary, mum. Tlie man 'in going to work for Is willing to aj ako chances. I'm leavln' to get marled."?Detroit I-'ree 1'ress. The Spirit of Charity. "I'm awfully sorry that my engage- ( ncnts prevent my attending your char- J i ty concert. Imt I shall be with you In r ipirit." > "Rplemlld! And where would you } Ike your spirit to sit? I have tickets a 1 lere for $2.."i0. $."> and $10."?St Louir i Post-Dispatch. . t < i ( c Touching. '< She?Your fiicnd Jims was here ,ri his morning asking for you and told '< ne such a touching story. He (ah- < ' entmlndcdly)?For how much??Bal- J! Imore American. > J k I | AN ORDINANCE Limiting the Quantity of Alcoholic Liquors or Beverages Any Person May Order, Receive, Keep, Store or Deliver in One Caldhdar Month, Regulating the Quantity, Fixing the Place of Storing and Keeping?Regulating Its Use?Exceptions, Etc., in the City of Union, S. C., and Penalties ?or Violating. Be it Ordained by the Mayor and the Aldermen constituting the City Council of the City of Union, S. C., now met in Council assembled and by authority of the same: Section 1. Liquor Ordering, Receiving, Bringing into City Over One Gallon in One (1) Month. That from and after the 1st day of January, A. D. 1916, it shall be un- ~ lawful for any person, firm, corporation or agent directly or indirectly to order from any point without or within the City of Union, or to receive within the City of Union or to receive without the City of Union and bring into and within the City of Union, any | quantity of alcoholic liquors or beverages containing over one (1) per cent alcohol for any use or purpose ...L-A iiutsoever in any packape, vessel, bottle, jup, demijohn, or other container, totallinp in amount any quantity exceedinp one (1) pallon, within or durinp the calendar month in which it is ordered, received or broupht in. Section 2. One Gallon Liquor Per Calendar Month. That from and after the 1st day of January, A. D. 1916, it shall be unlawful for any person, firm, corporation or apent, directly or indirectly to brinp into this City for any person, firm, corporation )r apent, any quantity of liquors as nentioned in section one (1) herein, ind deliver or cause to be delivered to iny person, firm, corporation or apent my liquids as mentioned in Section )ne (1) herein, in any total amount r quantity exceedinp one pallon in 11 in the calendar month of delivery r brinpinp in or orderinp. Section 3. Third Party DeliVerinp ver one pallon: It shall be unlawnl on and after the 1st day of Janary, A. D. 1916, for any person, rm, corporation or apent under any retense, false pretext or fraudulent 2Sipns of any kind to make delivery I ' 'arty packape containinp liquors o. I coholic beverages containinp over | le ner rent olofti>?' ~r ? _ ..vuuui ui any Kind to irson, firm, corporation or agent in nounts exceeding one gallon vro ti'ng any portion or part or prosion of section Nos. 1 and 2 herein. Section 4. Keeping and Storing One illon and Under: It shall be unwful on and after the 1st day of nuary, A. D. 1916, for any person, m, corporation or agent to keep d store in any place within this ty any liquors or alcoholic beveres as mentioned i'n Section One (1) reip, in any quantity exceeding one ) gallon, fend that no place or de- "' sitory of any such liquors or bev- == ages in any quantity from one (1) Hon and lesser quantities shall be vfully kept or stored excepting in s private living room or home of the xe owner thereof. Section !>. Exceptions to One Gal- H| ? Law: Provided nothing in any HP ;tion or the provision of any sec- Bp n of this ordinance shall be held Bij construed to curtail or prevent the J? iering, the receipt, the delivery, the . insportation or the selling and stor- ' e of alcohol as are provided for and ? accordance with sections 795, 796, Hj 1, 7118, 799, 800, 801, 802, 803, 804, K " ?, 800, 807 and 808 of the Criminal de of 1912 of the State of South rolina, and any amendments there- T snd by order of Court and consti- w ;ed authority. BE Section 6?Penalties: Any person, ftl n>. corporation or agent found Be ilty of violating any Dart or nrn. ;*4n of any section of this Ordinance HI il :n the discretion of the Trial Rg cue be sentenced to pay a fine not ||p ding One Hundred Dollars ($100) Ira t serve not exceeding thirty (30) K& y on the chain gang at hard labor. HE E ne and ratified in Council assem- Rj ;< this 9th day of December, A. D. Kg 1 at Union, South Carolina. G| I?. C. Wharton, Mayor. jH I. H. Schoppaul, Alderman W. 1 WM C K. Smith, Alderman W. 2. Hj an R R. Berry, Alderman W. 3. S. R. Lybrand, Alderman W. 4. Di W. D. Arthur, H ve, Clork City Council (Seal) 51-3t 1 a fool is happy in his folly he tie i d worry. Very few wise men are bo cky- ar ?P NOTICE TO TAXPAYERS. M g.. om January 1st to February 20th, , the County Auditor's books will pen for making returns. All who BHHI liable to taxation will please see their returns are properly made. EXCtTl personal property is returned < year, except where real estatt. neen transferred from o?o I t.y ;\f( iother. In such case please state turn of bought or sold, and how The i and to whom. very lo~ jill be in office all January except the Chi lated below: sold I)e irlisle, Tuesday, January 18th. with fii ntuck, Wednesday, January 19th. original nesville, Thursday, January 20th. night Ji iflfalo, Friday, January 21st. infornia march and Ottaray, Tuesday, commur ary 2.r>th. trict Pt iion Mills, Wednesday, Jan. 2Gth. C. ckhart, Thursday, Jan. 27th. ' amsburg, Tuesday (morning) NOT Kelton (evening) Jan. 28th. 11 be in office from 29th January P' bruary 3rd. hunt ?8t Springs, Feby. 4th. manner >ss Keys, Wilburn's store, in the as Hopl ing of Feb. 8th. Gist pla lalia, (Minter's store), evening located i b. 8th. session. <hen Hill, Feb. 9th. J. S. Betenbaugh, v County Auditor. pd Munro & Sligh's GARAGE OPEN FOR BUSINE*SS x GADBERRY STREET UNION, S. C. ATTRACTIVE | ^ ? ? winter vacation lours ?to? i Florida, Cuba, The West Indies, Panama Canal Mardr Gras New Orleans, New York, Bermuda \ Operated During The Christmas Holidays JANUARY, FEBRUARY AND MARCH Tours of Ten, Fifteen, Twenty and Thirty Days Duration, Covering Many Points of Great Attractiveness and Historical Interest. We have a Tour at extremely low cost including ; all expenses to Florida and Cuba, December 27th to January 7th, especially attractive and of unlim- ' ited educational value to Teachers and Students ? during their vacation?their only opportunity. A Tonr of TTlrvwirlr. *u~ * "* .l xuxiua, uie world's greatest Winter Resorts, during the height of their season; i , through the beaiitiful tropical country in nearby Foreign Lands; Steamship Voyages in Southern Seas; and the Isthmus of Panama, during the winter months at home, affording an opportunity for great comfort and pleasure. Write for Booklet and Literature. We are sure one of our many attractive All-Expense-Included, Personally Conducted and Chap- , j eroned Tours at a Reasonable Cost will interest ' { you. >| i GATTIS TOURS Tourist Agents, Seaboard Air Line Railway f~ Raleigh, North Carolina. ; t. , ~ r.? =4; iffirai * "Thcdford's Black-Draught I (the best all-round medicine H teelman, of Pattonville, Texas. H 1 suffered terribly with liver m oubles, and could get no relief. H ( imption. 1 could not work at H ' 1. Finally 1 tried H THEDFORD*S I IT-;? I UlUUlft BLACK* I Plumbing: I DRAUGHT I and v d to my surprise, 1 got better, I Electric d am to-day as well as any B ; in." Thedford's Black- H aught is a general, cathartic, B V'Ue 9 getable liver medicine, that B s been regulating irregulari- B 0r|0i>c app f s of the liver, stomach anjl B * * wels/for over 70 years. Qet B ' ackage today. Insist on the I When Good Workmatlitdne-Thedford's. F.-7Q g ship and Good Materia! BBBBHBBI are considered. c * tSION RATES On* " - VUI luaiiv OUUSIieO via southern railway. Customers will tell you rount Christmas Holidays. " nbOllt US* Southern Railway announces w round trip fares account of istmas holidays, tickets to be 1/II)DV f II1T11T?C / cember 17th to 25th, inclusive, ImllmDl I\ OiJllIlLiiJ rial limit returning to reach starting point prior to midanuary 10, 1915. For detailed tion apply to local agents or v licate with S. H. McLean, Disissenger Agent, Columbia, S. ' 50-4 ICE TO TRESPASSERS. ' arties ar^ hereby notified not , fish, ride, walk or in any * trespass on the lands known (tins Smith place, the David ce and the Lewis Jacks place, n Santuc and m w in our posDavid Gist, mammmmmmmmmmmmdmmmmmmmmmmrnmmmm Douglass Smith. ' I ...J I