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[ JUST A SMILE | He?Do you think obtaining the vote would make women masculine? She?Why, no. It hasn't had that effect on you.?London Opinion. Wife (at dinner)?You don't seem to like rice. Husband?No; it is associated with one of the greatest mistakes of my life.?London Sketch. History Professor?Why are the Middle Ages known as the Dark Ages? Wise Fresh?Because there were so many knights.?Wisconsin Sphinx. "He is one of those near-vegetarians." "What is a near-vegetarian?" "He never eats meat except when he is invited out."?Houston Post. Bix?Can you lend me $5 for a month, old boy? Dix?What the deuce does a monthold boy want with $5??Boston Tran, script. Ermyntrude?I'm terribly worried. Dear Harold is coming home on leave, nnH folic m o hn'c nnnfnro/1 cotron Germans. Now I really haven't the faintest idea what to do with them.? Weekly Telegraph. "Did your husband have any luck on his hunting trip?" "Splendid! Didn't you hear?" "No; what was it?" "He got back alive."?Houston Post. "Your dad is an old crank," said the youth who had been told by her father that 11 o'clock was time to go. Dad overheard the remark. "A crank is necessary in case of the lack of self-starter," he retorted.? Louisville Courier-Journal. A Matter of Numbers. "If a man kills another man is he always put in jail, mamma?" "Not always. Sometimes he is paid by the government to do it; and if he can only kill enough he will have' monuments erected to him."?Life. "Who is that fellow eulogizing this grand and glorious republic?" "I don't know who he is, but when you hear a man talking like that the chances are ten to one that he thinks this grand and glorious republic ought to support him."?Birmingham AgeHerald. Skepticism. A man in New York who was arrested for annoying a strange young woman ascribed his ad to a state of mind engendered by chop suey. The i judge, who is himself something of an pri Oriental scholar, said, "O, poor ten . bevX," which is a Chinese expression of skepticism.?Washington Herald. The Answer. Father, teaching his 6-year-old son arithmetic by giving a problem to his wife, begs his son to listen. Father?Mother, if you had a dollar and I gave you five more, what would you have? Mother (replying absently)?Hysterics.?Brooklyn Life. "I never have any luck. Everything goes against me." "What's the matter now?" "The doctor says my husband must give up smoking." "Well, you ought to be glad if he follows the doctor's orders." "Glad! Just as I was within 500 coupons of having enough to get a I new set of cut-glass tumblers."?Detroit Free Press. Fault Finder (in fVont of dairy restaurant)?I notice the word dairy on your new sign is spelled d-i-a-r-y. Proprietor?I know it is. I was going to have it changed, but the painter convinced me his way of spelling the word was more suggestive? Fault Finder?More suggestive? Proprietor?Yes; he said it conveyed the idea of putting things down.?Judge. The editor of the York News owes our proofreader a nice present, but ; maybe he doesn't know it. Last week we handed out a little "four per cent ammonia" about the York News being one of the chief assets of York county, and the compositor, whether inspired or not, left the "t" out of "assets," bu*r the faithful proof reader, often cussed, caught the error.?Pickens * Sentinel. "Run upstairs, Tommy, and bring hahv't niorht crtwir 11 " eaiH Tnmmu'o mother. "Don't want tc," said Tommy. "Oh, Tommy! If you are not kind to your little sister, she'll put on her wings and fly back to heaven." Tommy's reply came promptly: "Well, let her put on her wings and fly upstairs for her nightgown."?New York Telegraph. ^ Wanted to Make- Sure. ' , A man walked into a grocer's shop and handed to the assistant a paper containing some white powder. "I say," he said, "what do you think that is? Just taste it and tell me your opinion." The grocer smelted it and then touched it with his tongue. "Well, I should say that was soda." "That's just what I said," was the triumphant reply, "but my wife said it was rat poison. You might try it again to make sure."?Exchange. N SKkli:' ' afflm ?,. , t, ' NO A SsRi BAKING I Made from Ci Absolut* I DEATH OF M. W. CLIFTON. Marion Webster Clifton passed away on Thursday, the 16th of September, 1915, in the 71st year of hit ape ,having been born on November 7th, 1844. Funeral services were conducted from the home in Piney Grove township, Sampson County, N. C., on the following day, by the Rev. B. P. Loatch, in a very impressive manner, and the interment was in the family burial ground nearby, the funeral being directed by Mr. T. M. Ferrell, Jr., one of Clinton's undertakers. The pallbearers were Messrs. H. W. Harden, H. E. Faison, M. F. Trouvlefield, L. M. Lewis, W. T. Hines and H. J. Hines. The floral offerings were tare and beautiful, the mound was literally covered with them. An unusually large concourse of relatives and friends gathered to pay this last tribute of respect to the memory of this good man, whose physical death will be a distinct loss to his community and to all individuals with whom he came in contact, for he was one of the county's most useful and upright citizens, and the last to go of the brothers and sisters of one. of our prominent families. Within the acquaintance of this writer, there was not a man who enjoyed the confidence and esteem of all who knew him to a greater degree than did Web Clifton, as he was familiarly called. Thoroughly unselfish and the very soul of honor. In manner and disposition he was plesant, easily approachable, always the same candid open-hearted and generous soul, ever ready to help his fellowman. All this everybody knew. Everyone knew, too, that Jie .was a man of splendid talent and judgment, hence his good counsel was often sougnt. His word was his bond and all trusted him. No man did more to reconcile men in their differences, and to settle disputes than he did. He was, indeed, a peacemaker. For a greater part of the ti ne since the civil war he was a justice of the peace, and whenever he could prevail on men to apply reason and good sense this course was pursued, their differences settled and friendship restored. All this is written in eulogy of this good life, not for any good that may be done the deceased ,but in the hope that others may emulate his example. Many years ago Mr. Clifton embraced the missionary Baptist faith, and was ever loyal to his church, with an unshaken faith which sustained hin, in all of his trials' and suffering, absolutely true in every department of life in his home life, in his church re lations and as a citizen. Surely such an exemplary life as his furnishes abundant consolation to the surviving and devoted wife and children and ah other bereaved ones, and also the assurance that his departure from us is only a transition from this earthly tabernacle to that life which is eternal, and to enjoy the blessings of blissful immortality. The deceased was a son of the late Rev. John L. Clifton, of the Missionary Baptist church. His mother before marriage was Miss Annie King. On Oct. 1st, 1867, he and Miss Margaret Jernigan, daughter of James and Eliza Jernigan, were married, who, toHealthy Old Ag B simple Kemeny t'romotes Health oy Overcoming Tendency to Constipation. Advancing years impair the action of the vital organs. Old age should be the period of greatest happiness, but good health is necessary. Constipation should not be tolerated?it is often the direct cause of ill health. Headache, belching, biliousness, bloat, drowsiness after eating and other symptoms of constipation can be readily relieved by the use of a simple laxative compotind sold in drug stores under the name of Dr. Caldwells Syrup Pepsin. Mr. J. H. Bristol, 1412 Geddes Ave., Ann Arbor, Mich., who is 83 years old, says, "Dr. Caldwell" Syrup Pepsin is the best remedy 1 ever used for constipation and I always have a bottle of it in the house to use when I feel the need of it; it never disappoints." Dr. Caldwells Syrup Pepsin is a mild laxative preparation, positive in its effect, acting easily and naturally without griping or other pain or discomfort. For over a quarter of a J.UM I >YAt, POWDER ream of Tartar ely Pure Kether with the following named children, survive him: Mrs. Julia Kernan and Vivian A. Clifton, of Charles ion, o. c,.; .tames a. Linton, in tne West; Mrs. Annie L. von Miller, of Jacksonville, N. C.; Mrs. Katie I. Scott and Mrs. May Pearl Martin, of Washington, D. C.; Mrs. Emma E. Thornley, of Moberly, Missouri; Messrs. Herbert H. and Forest F. Clifton, who remain at the old home and whose attention to their father during all his illness was faithful and untiring, as was that of the true and faithful wife, and the others of tht> children did what they could for him. In these attentions, too, they were greatly assisted by the neighbors for Mr. Clifton was practically an invalid for many years, and the latter part of his life entirely so; having suffered several strokes of paralysis. At the request of the family the writer here expresses their sincere thanks for all the attention and kindness shown. Mr. Clifton was a brave Confederate soldier, although being a mere youth at the outbreak of the war he volunteered along with that gallant band? the "Junior Reserves"?ami served faithfully and true, just as he performed every duty.' This conflict over, he returned to the old home, settled and went to work in building his heme and community, living for principles that are abiding and immortal; and at the close of life here, when laying his armor by, surely he could say of him- i self as did the great apostle, "I have fought a good fight; I have finished my course; I have kept the faith." A Friend. MUST POST BULLETINS. The railroad commission will insist that the railways post the exact hour of the arrival of trains on the bulletin boards. If the train is two hours late then the first bulletin posted must carry this information. Additional information is to be posted every 10 minutes afterwards. The complaint was filed with the commission by C. V. Iloykin of Charleston. ?The State. WILSON'S WEDDING LATE NEXT .MONTH. The Date is Set for "Near Close of December." Washington, Nov. 1.? It was formally announced today at the White House that the marriage of President Wilson and Mrs. Norman Gait will take place "near, the close of December" and that it will be private at Mrs. Gait's home here. This statement was issued by Secretary Tumulty: "In order to quiet speculation, President Wilson and Mrs. Norman Gait today authorized the announcement that thoir marriage will take place near the close of December. Their plans are for a very simple ceremony. It will be quietly perform- I ed at Mrs. Gait's residence. No invitations will be issued, and it is expected that the only guests will be the members of the two families." The pessimist admits himself a failure. re rings Happiness M It. J. H. \Ul ISTOL century it has been the standard household remedy in thousands of homes. Druggists everywhere sell it for fifty cents a bottle. A trial bottle of Dr. Caldwells Syrup Pepsin can be obtained, free of charge, by writing to Or. W. B. Caldwell, 454 Washington St., Monticello, Illinois. v * V* - ' ,1 * \ .* . E MISSISSIPPI MOB HANGS PROMINENT YOUNG MAN. Jack Hughes Taken From Jail and Lynched. Columbia, Miss., Oct. 31.?Jack Hughes, 30 years of age, member of a prominent family of Washington parish, Louisiana, adjoining this county, was taken from the county jail here early today by a party of masked men and hanged to a tree a short distance outside the city limits. Hughes was under arrest in connection with the murder of Larue Ilolloway, a well known young man of this place, who was killed near here on the night of October 21. Otho Fortenberry, the jailer, who occupied quarters on the second floor, was awakened about 1 o'clock this morning by three masked men, who, after forcing him to give up the keys to the cell occupied by Hughes, bound him to his bed. The lynchers took Hughes, leaving the building without awakening two prisoners in adjoining cells. Fortenberry said the enrridor was crowded with masked men and that through a window he saw seven automobiles parked in front of ik. i_:i me jail. The jailer who was found and released by a boarder in Fortenberry's household several hours later, gave the alarm and posses began a search for the prisoner and his abductors. A short distance outside the city the posse found Hughes' body swinging from a tree. According to the authorities, persons who witnessed the killing of Holloway in a lumber camp near here said Hughes shot the young man in the back without provocation. Holloway, at the time it was said, was engaged in a fight with another person while Hughes was an onlooker. Hughes at first defieck arrest, but C. P. Jones, who witnessed the killing took him in custody and delivered him j to a deputy sheriff. A coroner's jury which viewed the body returned a verdict that Hughes had met his death at the hands of a j person or persons unknown. An I examination indicated that he had strangled to death as his neck was broken, physicians testified. For several days after killing of Holloway the authorities fearing trouble because of the excitement here, guarded the jail, but recently relaxed their vgilance. District Attorney Hall announced today that the grand jury would be requested to investigate 1.1 i L: tut lyricmnK. TRUE TO VERY LIFE. T ' Col. McCahe Describes Statue of Gen. Lee. Col. W. Gordon McCabe in Richmond ! Times-Dispatch. In response to our courteous re- j quest that I should express my opin- | ion as to the merits of Siever's eques- I Wan statue of Lee, I shall first state i briefly that his excellency, Gov. Stu- J art, and myself (the only two n.em- j ~ hers of the Gettysburg commi ??or.'' , resident in Richmond) drove out this ! I laorninj' io Mr. Sievers* studio at For- ; est Hill and made a prolonged and caref'il study of the statue as it r v ] 1 stands, modeled in clay. It would be idle for me to attempt any technical criticism of the >rk in detail, even if 1 possessed ill r, < isite knowledge to do so, wii ii : (iii not ior one moment pretend to. I only know when a statue or any other work of art impresses me favorably and when it does not, and 1 only venture with diffidence to set doo.n my opinion in this case to the end | that my old comrades at a distance j and Virginians of a younger genera- i j tion may know how the work of the i I sculptor has impressed one of Lee's I | old soldiers. I Briefly, it is, to my mind (and to I my heart as well) one of the noblest statues I have ever looked upon, and I may add without impertinence that I have seen the best and the most famous, both in Europe and in this country. As I gazed upon it long and searehingly, the years seemed to roll away, and I saw once more our great captain, seated in easy majesty on "Traveler," to the very life as we (now the lingering few) saw him more than half a century ago, watching the shifting hcances of the fray; well-known, martial figure, instinct with vigor; the graceful port and carriage, the fine poise of the "good gray head," the easy mastery of the thorough horseman?the perfect embodiment of "a people's hope," the noble face stamped by the "God of Battles" wi*h the rank that He alone can give. Scarcely less in the fashioning of the horse has the sculptor proved his mastery of his "cunning art." Not a touch of the "theatrical" just the "Traveler' that we knew so well : ?only (by reason of the dimensions of the great statue) an "heroic" n "Traveler" that seems proudly con- fi scious that he hearR upon his hack the weight of a nation. t< I know not how it may strike more 8 critical eyes, but I repeat that, to the eyes of one of Lee's veterans, 'tis a li wondrous "counterfeit presentiment" T of the immortal rider and his match- G less steed, whose appearance i'n the ^ long ago ("in the land where we were I dreaming") always evoked a storm of hoarse cheering as the great cap- b tain rode among the blackened guns u whose thunderous plaudits were ever s the welcome closet to his soldier's t heart. r The pecuniary emolument to the sculptor in this case must of necessity be small, but by this statue he has , won what money can never buy?a j great name for himself and the abid- ; ing admiration of a grateful people. 11 Dyspepsia may be disappointed love. | i ^ veryone should saye some money i ontlnuous effort will accomplish wonders On many an occasion will you be thoughtful for & your bank account No spendthrift can get much of a footing in the X financial world V ?*? ^ ^Opportunity knocks at the door of the thrifty ? < t. v ma" *. "M"any a successful man has worked his way up & & JLV1 from the foot of the ladder jX' "V" ou can do as well If you have plenty of grit and ?! ?*? X sound common sense Y > Y Come in and Ask Us About Our Savings department A | Citizens National Bank I Y R p MORGAN C. C. SANDERS Y President Cashier Y *<? State, County and City Depository | The same strong, serviceable Ford car?but 1 | at a lower price. The Ford car, which is giving satisfaction to more than 900,000 owners, has a record for utility and economy that is worthy of your attention. Two and two make four?there wouldn't be so many Ford cars if they didn't give sue1" splendid service. Prices lower than ever. LI Runabout $390; Touring Car $440; Town [ Car $040, f. o. b., Detroit. On sale at ; U NION G A RAGE GADBERRY ST. mg Again" Rill -A Soliloquy in ' ' Two Paragraph* "That'i the third time this morning. I can't wait a moment longer on that fellow. Let me see?what is Smith's number? "If Jones won't provide sufficient telephone facilf tie* for hi* customers, he can't blame me for dealing elsewhere. Operator, give me 437." How do you know this very occurrence doesn't happen with your single telephone. Have an auxiliary line; the cost is trifling. Call the business Offlss to* day. h ' SOUTHERN BELL TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY A woman never realizes how many Piles Cured la 6 to 14 Days ten she might have married until she Your druggist will refund money if PAZCI n/|c hpuiplf q (ininQtpr OINTMKNT fails to cure any case of Itching, nas nersen a spinster. Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles in 6 to 14 dsys, F rom the raw sugar of lovemaking The lirHt application gives Ease and Rest. 60c. ) the vinegar of domestic infelicity Is ' ~~ . . ome change. Common sense is plentiful, but it is ? 1 m ? the unrnmmnn kind thnt pminte ivlgoratlng to the Pale and Sickly Charity begins at home, but reform he Old Standard central atrengthenlnc tonic. nee<18 to be practised by a neighbor. ROVK'8 TA8TKLK8S chill TONIC, drive* out It isn't that coal is not cheap ^oUgh, but dealers oharK,. too much for it. A Philadelphia man earns a living ~ ' ' ? . _ . y going around and waking people W**Bever Tonic ip at stated hours each morning. He ^ L??i,| - ft,Q. The Ola Standard Grove's Tasteless hould <?* ? rousing business in that chm Tonk, Jg valuable aa a ?wn- General Tonic because it contains the ? ?? well known tonic properties of QUININE Tec m >c rarTh and IRON. It acts on the Liver, Drive? frl Ml INK!I out Malaria, Enriches the Blood and iwmvMiav Builds np the Whole System. 50 cents. ATTORNEY AX liAIAT Nothing succeeds like the officeIFFICE OPPOSITE COURT ROUSE ""aZ^ b! when UNION, S. C. she has a mouse in a trap. . * w