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<M*f4*4t*t4V4t+t*t+f4t+t*?4 I BOWSER BUYS I I AN AUTOMATIC I r r 1 + And His Burglar Calls That + ] Evening. + t + ! t By M. QUAD t Copyright, 1915. by McClure News- ' 4* IMinpr Rvttfliooto *" ^ t+?+t+4+?+?*?+t+4<M+4+*+t+ ; When Mr. Bowser came home ou n 1 recent evening lie stopped for a moment nt the gate anil looked up and * down the street and ncross. When he entered the house lie walked through j to the sitting room to one of the back j windows and peeked and peered for a moment before stepping back and exclaiming in a whisper: "There he Is, Just as I expected!" "Who is it?" asked Mrs. Bowser, who ^ had followed him. J "A burglar!" j "How do you know?" ( "I saw that man on the street car. j I saw Ills hungry look as I took out t may wallet to get a bill changed. He r got off the car when I did and is now j spotting the house to see how he may r enter tonight." "I shouldn't worry about him," re- j plied Mrs. Bowser with a smile to her- 0 self." c "I'm not worrying. I'd rather he ^ was a burglar. I hope he will try to j get in here tonight. 1 am fixed for him. t See this?" j And he drew forth an automatic pis- f tol, which he had bought an hour before, and exhibited it with ?reat nride n and said: t "Mrs. Bowser, we have been at the mercy of burglars for the last year. ? We are at their mercy no longer. I hold death for them In my hand." n "I haven't read or heard of a bnr- K glar for weeks and weeks," said Mrs. e Bowser. b "There have been thousands of them t< nnd the scoundrels are still at It. Many it and many a night I have woke with a p lc "I WOULD OHAB HIM BY THK HAIB AND PULL HIM OFF." feeling that an intruder was In the house, but I went to sleep again with- cl out alarming you." There was no more talk on the sub- tl .1ect until after dinner and then Mr. h Bowser said: "Mrs. Bowser, we must understand n each other about tills burglar business. If there is a strange noise in the house, ? and I think it is a burglar. I will poke '? you in tbe ribs with my elbow and ? I >% vAtii* nas Vnn rntluf S JU.t-11 VIjr H IUOJICI ill JVU1 v?i. X*'U niuot remember not to scream out." n "I see," was the reply. "If you are the first to wake give me ? a poke and whisper 'b-u-r-g-l-a-r-s?' l' That will he enough for me. I will spring out of bed, grasp my automatic 0 and fly downstairs and fill somebody * with lead. This Is the program and ' we must stick to It and not get things ' mixed up." "But do you think I nm going to 8 remain up here while you hunt a burglar downstairsasked Mrs. Bowser. ' "Of course you are. Yo\i wouldn't 1 be idiot enough to follow down." "I'd follow, of course!" e "But what could you do?" "If I found that a burglar had you * down on the floor and was choking /1nofh I nrnulfl crMh htm htr tlin hair and pull liim off." ' "Humph! You would stay right up here until 1 came up and informed you ' that the burglar was as dead as a door ( nail. The matter Is all settled and ' we need talk about it 110 longer." Mrs. Bowser hadn't been made at all J nervous by the talk, and sho had no fear as she fell asleep. Soon after midnight, however, she found herself 1 sitting lip In bed and listening with ' all her might to some noise on the ^ next floor down. It came again and again an<l after two or three minutes she made up her mind that a burglar ' was prying up a window. She took the end of Mr. Bowser's nose between her thumb, and finger and then whispered the magic word in his ear. He grunted. She whispered" again. He sat up and yawned. "I think there is a burglar in the house," she whispered. Mr. Bowser made a move as if he would fall back on his pillow and cover up his head, but checked himself and asked: "What have you heard?" "Some one is prying up a window." "It is probably some noise on the street." "But you will go down and investigate?" I "I don't Bee the need of it.** said Mr. Bowser after a hesitation looting thirty seconds. It's probuble that you had n touch of nightmare, but If you hear noises again give me another call." Mrs. Bowser was out of bed in thirty seconds and feeling for the automatic under his pillow. "Here! What are you going to do?" ho asked. "I am going down and shoot that burglur, If there Is one," replied Mrs. Bowser. I lie swung his logs off the bed, took j Llie pistol from her hand, and as she turned up the light he started for the loor. lie paused three times in going ten feet, and as he laid his hand on 1 the doorknob he asked: "Suppose there is more than one of 1 them ?" "If there are a dozen simnf ?n'" I 1 - ~ uuikiui inner. "Oh, It's so .jnny?" gasped Mrs. 114 owser. "It was nothing but the old it after all!" *M "Durn her hide, but how did she get cL i here?" c0 "The cook may have left the kitchen tt aor open." c11 "Then you discharge her In the morn- 111 ig, and If there is any wages com- ^ iat there really was a burglar in the cr >u8e" er Mrs. Bowser stilled her laughs and ? ghted more gas Jots and went to in- ^ >ectlng the room to find where the irrel of bullets which had missed the urglar had found lodgment. The fol- ? wing is a true record: One bullet through the mantel mir- ^ m One bullet through the eight day m lock, making it a 110 day clock. lt One bullet through a landscape 011 t l tie wall. It improved the pnlnting. owever. Two bullets through the piano, but ot improving its tone. One bullet through a window pane * vcrlooking the back yard. It was iter on ascertained that this chunk . f lead entered a barn 011 the opjiosite ^ lde of the alley and nicked the ear of hostler sleeping on his Innocent lied. Two bullets through the fatal parts w f a Japanese vase. It must have w led instantly. Three or four bullets through a cray11 picture of Mrs. Itowser. They do- j> troyed her nose, knocked out her n, rout teeth and carried away both eye rows, but she was glad of it, as It g| tad always given her a chill to look eJ it it. ,t With tlie exception of five or six j, loles In the ceiling there were no ^ iiorctDiarks. The other bullets might g| invo been shot Into the tlrenlnee and - ? - * al linibcd up (ho chimney. a "Well?" queried Mrs. Bowser after s Jiey hud got through hunting. "If it was a burglar," replied Mr. ? Flowser. "he has been mortally wound- ft id and has crawled away to die." ? "Ves, that Is the way of It." said the v oolitic wife, and the lights were turn- (j >d out, and the couple went back to >cd. Next morning Mrs. Bowser re- r Terred to the matter at the breakfast f| rahle, hut Mr. Bowser discouraged her t hy saying: T "You had better get you a tonic of j some sort. You had an awful attack 0 jf nightmare last night" 8 And the good little woman, knowing s liow a modest man feels when he has | done a heroic action, didn't say anoth- j nr word?not a word. I t Grilled. I She?naven't I seen you on the grid- c Iron ? r lie?So you think I look like a foot- t ball player, eh? 1 She?No; I thought yon looked like a 1 lobster?Judge. t Were They Clay? The maiden from Toledo slKhed And murmured, with an air of pride, I "My Pete > Says I'm a poem, all complete." The maid from Boston raised her eyes And answered her In some surprise: f "How neat! < Pray, tell me, did ho scan your feet?" , ?Harvard Lampoon. Mrs. Bowser followed liim to the 1 jead of the stairs, and he did not oh- ^ leet In the least All was silent and c larkness below, and the bravest gen- ' ;ral In the European armies might have * lesitated over tlie situation. The ' )lunge, however, must he taken, and ' dr. Bowser took it, fully expecting % hat he was going to his doom. Mrs. * Bowser encouraged him with, whisper- 8 'd words, and at length he reached the v 'oot of the stairs. There he turned to snter the sitting room, and just as he E cached it there was a bump, bump, c jump?a shout?a scream and then the P joise of a skirmish line. Mr. Bowser had turned loose his au- 13 rrmntly >' T* iun?, uowser nan screamed. v ind the burglar was trying to pet out 8 >f the window he had entered. In the 1 Inrkness he could not be seen, but Mr. ^ lowser was taking no chances of let- ^ ing him escape. ITe had the pistol tolnted all over the room as it belebed ^ orth its bullets. v "Have you killed him?" the voice of ^ Irs. Bowser asked as the pistol ceased o bang. . y "Ten times over," was the reply. Can you light the gas?" A gas Jot was lighted and at that 81 aoment a big black tomcat who had omeliow got into the house and want- 11 d to get out again and had been n' umping his head against the glass ut- n ered a frightful y-o-o-w-1 and streaked a : for the basement stairs and dlsap- 81 cared. Mr. Bowser looked at Mrs. Bowser. c< Mrs. Bowser looked at Mr. Bowser. m Then ho exclaimed, "By gosh?'* ' Then she sat right down on the floor m nd chuckled, and tittered and giggled nd laughed as she had not done since lie was a girl of twelve. ? "What in the thunder alls you?" e mvlud Hi? Ki.i.??? ? SERVING AI SUMMONS By JOHN Y. LARNED j When 1 was u young man studying , aw I secured a legal position, the , irincipal duties of which were to serve 1 >npers on those who were sued for lebt I had one experience that made ' ue the laughingstock of the town. I Jason Parke as a boy was the dare- ] levil of the place in which he lived. ( le was up to all sorts of pranks, much . o the annoyance of the older citizens. < >ut which amused the youngsters. He j vns afraid of nothing and had a head 1 apable of enabling him to look down < roiu immense heights. Had he been | >oru in Switzerland he would doubt- 1 ess have beeu a mountVn guide. As 1 t wns, becoming an ironworker, he j vns often engnged in Joining together he steel framework of buildings, and. | ome of them being skyscrapers, he " vns obliged to work up in the air. Jnson wns a favorite among his com- j anions. He was tender hearted, gen- v rou8 to a fault and suffered, as such 1 ersous generally do. from spendthrift 1 irocllvities. Instead of laying up i noney for a rainy day ho ran into debt, f )ne of his creditors, to whom he owed 5 evernl hundred dollnrs, after vainly ' rying to recover, sued him, and I was 1 lrected to serve the summons upon " lm. 1 wns told that he wns working on a ridge across a river. I went to Arch- j ille, where he was engaged, nud to ] tie bridge. It was a cantilever stmic- ^ ire across a broad river and had not ft et met in the center. h Parke had got wind of the suit d rought against him, and a lawyer had t ilvised him to keep out of the way so v ?ng as possible so that service upon c km could not be secured. This l did r ot know; but. of course, I never gave " way for what purpose I wished to see 1 person on whom I wished to serve a minions. ^ Inquiring of a workman where 1 a mid find Jason Parke, he looked at n e suspiciously and asked what I wish- (j 1 of him. I replied that I had a v atter of business with him. Looking e p at an iron structure extending from a le farther shore nearly to the middle n ! the river and a couple of hundred G et above the surface, he pointed to a n an on the outer extremity, saying that ^ ? was the person I wanted. n I wns young, had a good head for F dghts and saw an opportunity by ? Imbing out to where the man was to mer him and secure service. Hiring e boat, I pulled myself across the river, ^ Imbed the bank and, walking inland 1 I reached what would eventually r< i the floor of the bridge, walked Ytt e first pier, then worked my w?y ard m?_ouarr-v ??? - >< ?? tneif T !ort I was making, I was glad to awl along the unfloorcd steel string- . s. He did not apparently notice me, vl ing on with his work, which was riv- R lug. 1 dared not look down for fear ' losing my head and fnlllng into the liter, and I kept my eyes fixed steadt on my man. I must get near enough r him to hear my voice while I read I e summons, and since if he suspected I y purpose he could hammer enough I dse out of the steel to drown my voice I was necessary for mo to get very I ose to him. | f tiro? 1HA '1 ~ * 1 If ucu m. nua aw &CCI UlSUUik Uf lUglit sight of me. lie seemed sur I ised to see one not ft workman in I icl) n position, but ufter n glance went I 1 with Ids work, paying no further * tent ion to me. I was quite assured y this that lie did not suspect my pur >se and climbed 011, though every moent I dreaded dizziness. I had reach1 a point not twenty feet from him hen lie stepped off the iron beam 011 liich he was standing and went down >et foremost into the water below. 1 had been balked. Quite likely arke had received a signal from the uiu of whom I had Inquired for him nit I was coming and had thus been ' imbled to give mo the slip. I had had * nough of the job climbing out to such placo and had 110 miml for following im down into the river. The moment e jumped a boat put out from the liore, and the moment he rose to the urfaco lie swam toward it, was taken board and carried to the opposite tiore. My return to terra firnia was even lore trying than my outward climb, or I was becoming dizzy every molent. However, 1 reached the pier r'lthout falling, and after that, the anger was much less. On going down to the margin of the iver I found that the boat I had come ver in was missing. I did not doubt hat every workman 011 the bridge ras in league with his fellows to warn 'arke and to render my duty as difllult as possible. After much delay I ecured ferriage. As I approached the hore I saw my quarry sitting 011 some ronwork at the base of tlio pier on lint side of the river. lie hud evidenty got on some dry clothing or dried in he sun whnt he had worn and was tH.King at me with apparently no conem whatever. I was then a fleet runler, and as soon as my boat's nose onehed the shore I sprang out and ran 'or him. Before I could get within tearing distance he had sprung Into he open Ironwork of the pier and was 'limbing upward like a monkey. FTe lid not stop till lie had reached a plat'orm a hundred feet above, leaving me >elow gaping at him and greeted with ihouts of derision by every workman unploycd on the bridge. I found an excuse to resign my position and seek another home and another occupation. I never returned to 'he lawyers. GOSHEN HILL Goshen Hill, Aug. 21.?Among the hills of Goshen you find saints as well as sinners?projectors and well as destroyers. So therefore I beg to introduce the fact to the Readers of the Union Times, that the great big gasoline engine, and big road scrape has adorned the hills of this township at last, even if it is running late on schedule, but as the old adage goes "Better late than never." To the enterprising Jack Mobley, I accord the right hand of fellowship in carrying out a project for general road improvement, that so many people here have been clamoring for a number of years. We have the material here for good roads sand, clay gravel, etc.. but with it all, it don't move ibout by itself and unite where it should. All of you road growlers, get together?pull off your coats, get From under your umbrella and :omc to the assistance of Jack Mobley ind you will have better roads bui f you don't, you will have those same mud holes that go down in the ground wo feet deep again this winter. Irowling about bad roads don't improve them. Jack Mobley can't give roil good roads without your assistince for it takes money to make them tnd he has only an allotted amount 'or his road and I tell you that pitiful mm will not build paved roads in Gosten Hill. The road growler that sits >eside the road and preaches bad oads and never contributes anything or their betterment, is what I style i knocker. It takes more that talk o be a big booster. There are so nany ways you can help Mobley so o far as Goshen Hill is concerned. )ne way is to take your wagon and lelp him to haul gravel to fill the bad daces when you can get it so easy, foth are available from the Newberry ine to Whitmire, for I am familiar vith this stretch of road a distance of ! or 9 miles. I stand read to assist in lelping to do what any other man will o in road building, if tne roads lead o market, and I am already burden rith taxation. This part of Union ounty needs to be regenerated with iiihlic spirit ar.d not with the spirit f self. Help Jack Mobley make for imself a record that will fit him for place higher up the ladder. Boys ou can do it if you will, push instead f pull. I know the amount of money Hotted to roads in Goshen Hill is ot enough to work them, and I furher know that a lot of it has been rasted, not from neglect but from rring in judgment, but any way lets 11 come across and help Mobley lake some good roads down here in loshen Hill. If any good roads are ceded it is down here. I have seen lorn in winter that would take four inles to carry a two horse load. Miss Annie McCarley and Miss ranees Lee Hardy have returned arm the Stover reunion in Lancaster. MTss Winona Henderson has retumd from a visit in different parts of ie State. Miss Fannie Epps, is away visiting datives for awhile. \ Myra JJffly" ?s spending t'h'e eek m'T^nTon and Spartanburg with [ends. Mrs. W. D. May, of Atlanta, is siting relatives here. The picnic at Black Rock was quite success, being attended by many sople from three counties. B. S. Hardy. I Worn Out? (I No doubt you are, if II you suffer from any o! the II numerous ailments to II which an women are sub- \l ject. Headache, backache, sideache, nervousW ness, weak, tired feeling, wr I are some ot the symptoms, and you must rid WU yourself of them in order I to feel well. Thousands II of women, who havo II been benefited by this B E remedy, urge you to I | TAKE II i Carduil II The Woman's Torie || Bmrs. syivania nuuut, ig of Clifton Mills, Ky., says: S "Before taking Cajrfui, 1 I was, at times, so weak I 1 could hardly walk, and the pain in my back and head nearly killed me. ^ After taking three bottles |S of Cardui, the pains dis| 8 appeared. Now f feel as 11 well as I ever did. Every B suffering woman should 3 I try Cardui." Get a bottle 11 today. E-G8 Notice of Final Discharge. State of South Carolina?County of TTniori Pniivt. r\f fnmmftn 1'lcas. Notice is hereby given, that on the nth clay of September, 1915, at 11 o'clock a. m. in the Court of Probate for said County, the undersigned will make his final settlement as Executor of the Estate of J. F. Betsfll, deceased, and that thereupon he will apply to the Judge of said Court, for his final discharge as such Executor. S.M.Rice. This 12th day of August, 1915. Published in The Union Times for 30 days. 33-4t. Invigorating to the Pale and Sickly The Old Standard general strengthening tonic, OROVK'S TA8TKI.KSS chill TONIC, drives out Malaria.enriches the Mood .And builds up the system. A true tonic. For Adults And children. 50c 3 Tin the HOME or on th&FAf^M The many needs for a good cleanser end disinfectant ere beit ?nd rrott eco- ^ nomically filled by MENDLESON'S LYE Its full strenglh cuts grease in a jiffy from tanks and panaand makes ft idea) for disinfecting poultry houses and curing chclera in hogs. Its pur.iy and strength make it the beat Lye to use, while the extra quantity your money will buy, makes it the cheapest. Twenty ounces of Solid Lye for a Dime instead of Sixteen. One ten cent can enough to saponify eight pounds of grease, making more soap than any other 10c can of lye on the market will make, The pound can makes fifteen pounds of soap. Three Forms?solid, granulated and balL ^-**~^T*mY ' 1 Insist upon Mendleson's Best Lye ^CONCENTRATED >i| Hi v /yj ) j*r. * A At rs-.x^n | B I'Vli i\T rnnv-pv *V/41 VVUill I WHOLESALE DEALERS The Union Grocery Co., Union, S. C. The W. D. Arthur Co., Union, S. C. Eagle Grocery Co., Union, S. C. RETAIL DEALERS H THP:il!rd'TUnion;,hC-, JF* AImon & Co.,Jonesville, S.C. H. J. Hames, Jonesvill6, S. C. J. F. Cheek, Union, S. C. T ?' ,Gfu,t' Jonesville, S. C. P. A. Johnson, Union, S. C. w r ? ' SantTUTC^' SoC? C G- West' Jonesville, S. C. . G. Gregory Umon S. C. James Harmon, Jonesville, S. C. ![ F?."lr' .V"10"' g- ? g- 9- Gregory, Carlislo^^ _ _ c TEN DAY RATES SEBOARD AIR LINE RAILWAY "THE PROGRESSIVE RAILWAY OF THE SOUTH" To Wilmington anil To Wilmington and From Wrightsville, N.C. From Wrightsville, N.C. Abbeville, S. C.__ $ 7.50 Greer, S. C $ 8.00 Anderson, S. C 8.00 Hodges, S. C? __ -- -- -- -- 8.00 Athens, Ga.__ __ __ -- 10.00 Lawrenceville, Ga.-_ ... ? 10.00 Atlanta, Ga 10.00 Pelzer, S. C.__ __ -- - 8.00 Relton, S. C.__ __ __ __ __ __ 8.00 Piedmont, S. C.. _ __ 8.00 Birmingham, Ala __ 15.00 Rockmart, Ga? __ __ 11.20 Cedartown, Ga... __ 11.00 Shoals Jet., S. C? __ 8.00 Donalds, S. C.__ __ __ 8.00 Spartanburg, S. C.._ .. .. ? 8.00 Elberton, Ga.._ __ __ 8.50 Union, S. C? 7.50 Greenville, S. C.__ 8.00 Williamston, S. C 8.00 Greenwood, S. C 7.50 Winder, Ga.__ - - 10.00 rvr. colli onnli TVi 11 'i v nn n nn/1 tnrdllditKr Sent? niher '2. lOlo. v,Ki.Vi, 1916 's.v7c. w*. Wirgiin. nawnniai _ 33-3t. The Quinine That Does Not Affect The Head DENTIST because of its tonic and laxative effect. 1.AXATf VR BROMO QliININl\ is belter than ordinal v OFFICE OVF.R MUTlMI. I jn*n |"i Quinine and docs not cause nervousness nor 1)R> <;<)<>|)S COMPANY A-'1'""'lis ?? V>? ringing in head. Remember the fi.1l name and look for the signature of K. W. GKOVB. 2J*. \ bearing final limit to reach original starting point, returning prior to midnight of second Monday following date of sale. Extension of final return limit may be had upon payment of difference between the ten day and season rates. Call on nearest Ticket Agent for Pullman reservations, information or C. S. Compton, T. P. A., Fred Geissler, Ass't C. P. A.. Atlanta, Ga. Atlanta, Ga. BAILEY UNDERTAKING CO. 1 Funeral Directors and Embalmers j Phone call answered anywhere in the County. \ Phone Office 106 Phones Residence 88 and 131 T. E. BAILEY, S. L. HARRIS. Pres. and Treas. L. E. and F. D. Experienced lady asssistant when desired. Sheriff Sales for September. 1915. .. ( ... , D. AMBROSE HUGHES Rv virtue of an execution to nie directed, I will sell before the Couit Public Autn Srrviep House door, in the County of Union, "" State of South Carolina, on Monday, Phone 28!) the ?th day of September, 191fi, dur- ^ inP th,- lepal hours of sales, ihe fol- Ca,ls Promptly Answered lowinp property to wit: s-???? One track of land lyi'np, heinp and ?? situate in Union Township, Union < County, S C.. containinp Forty-oipht i\/f g~- ?-> a ? acres, more or less, and bounded on Y the North by lands of J. c. Edwards, Painter, Paper Hanger East by lands of Geo. W. Goinp, anrf npmratrr South by lands of F. II. Hawkins, West by lands of Theodore Eison. , Estimates Cheerfully Furnished levied on and to he sold as the prop- Phone 3.1 Union. S C. erty of Mrs. Robert Hawkins at the ?^ suit, of Wallace Lumber <"o., Plain* tiffs, apainst Mrs. Robert H. Haw- " .",ns, Defendant. | i i'-;? c n i 11 !v Uant I n? n n?..,i,:?? I