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Torn Massona's Wife <smi<al Mannaa?nr THE WOMAN OF HIS CHOICE ? from "jt Corner In tfomon, and Other foUlet," by Tom Motion. Copyright, 190S, by Mofot, Tmrd V Co.. Sou) Tort. C? r? J7HITTLER lot himself In rue\WVvy chanioully with his latchkey, V V hung up his hat ami coat in the closet under the stall's and walked soberly up to the second floor. He remembered afterward that ho was wondering at this particular moment just what there would be for dinucr Sand just how much lie would enjoy it. On the lnndiug in the hall above he was confronted by a tall young woman, very trim and very only one glance to see that she was pretty. "Who are you V" "I'm your Why, I never saw yon before." Whittler began to wonder whether he was alive or not. "Oh, yes, you have seen nio before. It's all right. Come In here ami sit down and we'll talk It over. You had your pick out of all the other women you saw, and you chose me." "Did I? When?" "Yesterday morning. Don't you remember? I'm the girl In the car." Whittler passed his hand across his brow. He had seen her before. Yes, he remembered it all. "So you are," he ejaculated. "Of course I remember you. Hut how In the world did you come to bo my wife?" "Because you wanted me to. Do you recall what you were thinking of when I got in? lie honest now." "wny, yes. I was thinking or?of?my last wife." "Exactly. You'd had some trouble with her, hadn't you? Just before you left home?words. And you were reflecting sho wasn't much good anyway." "So I was. IIow do you know?" "Oh, I'm a mind reader. Well, you were kind of sore about your wife. Don't you know you were? You thought sadly that sho was getting passee. She hadn't been tip to the mark, and then suddenly, while you were thinking how disappointed you were In her, you happened to look up across the car, and you saw me." "So I did. 1 remember It perfectly. Let me go on. I saw how pretty you were, how beautifully gowned you were, and 1 said to myself, 'By Jove, there's a girl I wish 1 had for a wife!' Didn't 1?" "You did. And here I am." "But I don't understand how tha thing is done." "Don't bother about that. It was done by a syndicate for the renewing ot wives by discontented husbands. It's the latest thing. The Idea Is to promote the happiness of all mankind." "But where's my other wife?" "Oh, she's all right! You sec, she was getting along In years anyway, so the syndicate turned her over to a rich old duffer who cared for little else than a good housekeeper. She has a good home, Don't worry about her. Think of me." Whit tier gasped. "Well," he exclaimed, "tills Is certainly sublime. I suppose J must accommodate myself to the change, By the way, how's dinner?" His new wife smiled. "Let's go down and see. Can you cook?" "Well, I suppose so. Why do you ask?" "Well, you see, when I came the servants all left." "What! Why, they've been with me foi a long time." "I know it. But I had some words with them, and one thing led to unother, and I told them to get out. No impudence foi me!" "Perhaps if you hud been careful ol them?used a little tact, for example?they might have stayed." "Possibly. But that's not my way, Come, now, get to work. Fix this Art nnd skirmish around and cook somctlilni for dinner." "My dear girl," lie exclaimed, "I'm nol used to this sort of thing. I'm a hard iiuininb ira.mnM III.ill. J Ull IO il WunUlll and should look after these matters. Yon cook, and I'll wait." "Not one bit of ft! I'm not that soil of a wife. I'm not a cooking wife. Vrc attractive und bright and young. Yon selected me, didn't you? When you said you wished you had me for a wife yon didn't require a list of tilings 1 could do." "Certainly not; but. my dear girl, one takes certain things for granted." "Well, you are a soft one!" she exclaimed. "Here you agree that you arc disappointed In the wife you have, and, just think, out of ali tlie women in the whole town that you sec you pick me tc take lier place, and now that you've god me you are not satisfied, if that isn'l like a man!" "Hut." replied Whiltlcr, "this is all so sudden. If I only had time to think il over, l'crhaps we could have arranged for a preliminary trial"? She stopped him short. "A preliminary trial!" she exclaimed. "And what, pray, do you think of me"! Here I am, an attractive, stylish young girl, with loads of admirers, obliged to be tied down to an old baldheaded codgci like you!" "I'm not baldheaded!" "Well, you'ro almost, and you'll be entirely before V get through with you. 1 say, what do you think of me? I suppose about all you expect from me Is tc run after servants, make beds, mend youi clothes and be a household drudge instead of going to matinees and balls and parties. Well, I'll fool you. I'll have all the fun I want, and you'll pay for It." "Am I dreaming or not?" he groaned. Ills new wife caught him by the few remaining hairs of his head. He wan actually beginning to hate her cordially. "Yes," sho exclaimed, "you are dreaming. And tho best of It Is that you can'l wake up." "But I must wake up." "Nonsense! Haven't you selected mc for a life partner? And aren't you obliged to stick by me? I Just guess you are!" Bhe poked him in tho stomach. "But I shall die If I don't have something to eat. I feel a terrible gnawing." ^ "No; you won't die. I'll keep yot) alive." "If you touch mc I'll holler." Whittler tried in vain to halloo and wai Just about to give It up when he fell some one shaking him violently. II? opened his eyes. His own dear wife looKea ai mm sympatnetleally. "There!" aha said. "That's what one of those clufc dinners has done for you. Was it awful?" Wbittler put his arms around her in th? very ecstasy of love. "Darling." ha murmured, "it was tl* wtyst nightmare X ever had?but?X detented ttl" o SCAR FACED CHARLEY < ? ? I Copyright, 1905, by McClure, Phillips ft Co./ There were eight of us outside and Inside the Dead wood roach, including a woman, Mrs. Rush rod, when Scar Faced Clmrley robbed us. It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and we were skirting foothills covered witli pine scrub, when Scar Faced Charley stepped out of the bushes, lifted a double barreled shotgun to Ids shoulder and called upon the driver to pull up. 1 think all four of us on top of the coach made a motion for our guns, but the driver yelled at us: ".stop that, you cussed fools! Do you want to be blowu to kingdom come?" Soar Face was at that time a man of about thirty, rather picturesquely attired. and. as he was clean shaven, lie looked more like a faro man than n highway robber. There was a smile on his face as lie looked up, but something warned you that it was a smile Hint could couie off mighty sudden if tilings did not go his way. He took n look into the coach and then stepped back and said: "Now, gentlemen, let's have no fuss over this thiug. You up there get down, and you inside come out and form in line and put your hands up. ' Of course, the lady Is not included." None of us saw a chance to get in a ' shot while we were lining up, and once on the ground it was too late. He passed to the reur of us and removed our | shooters and tossed them into the [ bushes. The driver was permitted to , retain his seat. lie had no treasure i box. and the mails were not asked for. ' "Now, gentlemen," said Scar Face in Ills breezy wny, "I shall pass in front ' of you with my hat, and you will drop 1 In watches and purses. I put you on your honor. If I afterward discover that any one has held anything back it will be bad for him." One of the insiders was a .lew. lie i had a big roll, and skimming off aboiu JfoO lie handed the rest to the woman to take care of. After the contribution i the bandit stopped in front of Mr. Isaacs and said: "Y'ou arc keeping something back." | "So help me gracious, I'm not." 1 , "Don't lie. Where is your roll?" All this time Mrs. Hushrod had been 11 (piiet spectator, though she was boiling over with auger at the idea of onr letting a single man roll the eight of us. She had to say something or bursr, and, sliakiug the Jew's, roll out of the wiudow, she culled out: "Yes; hero is his money, and I'd like to see you Ret it! I've also got some of my own, hut you'll never get a dollar of it into your dirty fingers." , TTp to this time Scar Face had never ' robbed a woman. If the widow had 1 kept her tongue still she would have been treated with chivalry, hut once started she let her temper run away 1 with her. She gave the bandit a great tongue lashing, and a part of her rcl marks Included us. He gavo her Ave minutes, seeming to be amused and yet resolved, and when she paused for i breath he .advanced to the coach, thrust the barrels of the gun through the window and within a foot of her nose and said: "Hand me over every dollar you have got about you or you won't live ten . seconds!" She went deadly white and handed 1 over, and as near as I could make out . she was in a swoon for the next five minutes. The hamlit got a fine haul ! and was well pleased. When he had pocketed the pluuder he said: "I shall now bid you goodby, gentlei men. Let no one move for the next f live minutes. Then you may resume your journey." He bowed and stepped aside into the 1 scrub, and we looked nt each other in 1 a foolish way. After three or four t minutes the driver told us to get in, i and it was then that the widow got out. She had recovered from her swoon, and , her face was fiery red instead of death* ' ly pale. ' "i-ook here, you puck of poltroons, are you going to let that scoundrel get away with all our money?'' she exclaimed, as she looked from one to the other. "But what cau we do?" asked one. "Do? Do? Why, you cowards, you cau follow him up and capture hlml" ! None of us saw It that way and took l our places. The driver called to the I woman to get In, but she turned on hira with: "Go ou with your cowards! I'm go: lng to follow that robber to the ends of ' the earth but what I get my money hack!" I With that she heuded straight into the scrub on the robber's trail; and aftc er waiting for her Ave minutes and , vainly calling to her to return the stage proceeded and reached Dendwood four J hours late. When the story was told, the sheriff , took a posse and started for the scene, ' but before he reached It they met tlic ' widow walking along the road. She explained that she hud followed the robber for a mile through the scrub 1 mid then came upon liim In camp. She j at ouce started in to give him "gowdy." > and no doubt her other effort was dls' counted. She sat right down lu camp, i and said she wouldn't stir an iuch until . she had her money back. He threaten ed her, and she defied him. He got up 1 to run away, and she grabbed hold of j him. No mntter what Sear Face's exi perience had been with women, he saw ' - that lie had caught a Tartar In this I case, and he did the sensible tiling by i restoring her money and letting her go ? her own way. She arrived in Dcadwood with every dollar of it, and her pluck was so highi ly appreciated that they made up a '. public purse of 11,000 fpr ber, 1 . . ^ -?""W - ITS A STAYER. | Comes Quickly, But It Comes to Stay.?How a Union Citizen Got Rid of It. < Comes early, stays late. No stranger can be more unwelcome. Makes life a misery all day long. Keops you awake nights. Irritates you; si>oils your temper. Do you know this unwelcome guest? Ever liav? it come and stay with you? Know what it i?? Eczema. If you ever had any itchiness of the skin you know how hard it is to shake it off. You would like to know how to do it? Let a Union man tell you. Head his statement that follows: L. Ubele, baker and confectioner on Main street, says: "I havo used Dean's Ointment and found it to ho as represented. It is (he only remedy on the face of the earth that I know will cure itching piles, one of the most tryimr and irritating afllictions there is. Doan's Ointment will cure the affection and do it at once. You are Welcome to use my namo as ono who can speak to this effect trorn experience." For sale by all dealers. I'riee 50 cents Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, New York, eole agents for the United States. Remember the name?Doan's? and take no other. a >n?t lJifTcrcncc. She?Mr. Hiche says very bitter things about those lazy sons of his, but. his wife is always making excuses for them. lie?Yes, she makes excuses, but he has to make allowances for them. That's what angers him. Thoughts go forth to purjioses, purposes go forth In actions, actions form habits, hnbits decide character, and character Axes our destiny.?Tr.von 13d- ^ wards. In the Scottish lllsrtilnnda. / In the Scottish highlands the new year is ushered in by the tolling of the auld kirk bell and the playing of the bagpipes. In n clear, frosty night to hear this much maligned instrument played by a thoroughbred highlnndcr among the hills and from a distance the notes are stripped of their harshness and seem to be wafted across to you by the clear atmosphere In one harmonious melody. It Is beautiful and insplrlng.--rhiladelphia Lodger. Galveston's Sea Wall i makes life now as safe in that city as ; on the higher uplands. E. W. Cood- , loe, who resides on Dutton St., Waco, Tex., needs no sea wall for safety. He writes: "I have used Dr. King's New 1 Discovery for Consumption the past 1 five years and it keeps me well and ; < safe. Before that time I had a cough ; i which for years had been growing i worse. Now it's gone." Cureschronic j coughs, la grippe, croup, whooping cough and prevents pneumonia, l'leas ant to taiw. merit. "OlliQ guaranteed at. Duke Drug Co. PiidQI^^Kind $1.00. Trial bottle free. < * ~ " I i An Aslinnteo Hollo. On the Asliantl Gold Coast tlio cos- ^ tuine of a reigning i?ellc is less a mat- : j tor of well fitting clothes than of well ( spiked hair. The hair is first divided ^ into a half dozen braids; then these braids are stiffened with wax and tar ( until they are as hard as kindling , wood and stick out straight from the | head in a semicircle like the spokes of i a wheel. Thus coiffurcd the belle is ready to conquer alt hearts. The Endof the World of troubles that robbed E. II. Wolfe, of l Bear Grove, la., of all useful!ness, came when he began taking Electric Bitters. | He writes: "Two years ago Kidney trouble caused me great suffering, which I would never have survived had I not [ taken Electric Bitters. They also cured me of Generel Debility." Sure cure for all Stomach, Liver and Kidney com- 1 plaints, Blood diseases, Headache, Dizziness and Weakness or bodily decline. Price 50c. Guaranteed,, by Duke Drug Company. The Sweet Thing. "I just ubhor gambling!" "So do I. but Charlie says 'tisn't gam bling when you win. and somehow Charlie is most always lucky." Lucky. The man Is doubly lucky Who gets his wages raised The next day after Christmas, i For then, the saints be praised. It's quite too late to sally Forth with the load of tin v?nu 011 your ?jnrisimas shopping Blow all your wages in. Seasonable Ills. "Withers looks pale and worn. Has he been ill?" ( "Yes; he is just recovering from an attack Qf Santa Clous." In Self Defense Major Ilamm, editor and manager of I the Constitutionalist. Eminence, Ky., , when he was fiercely attacked, four < years ago, by Piles, bought a box of ihicklun's Arnica Halve, of which he <ayB: "It cured me in ten days and no rouble since." (Quickest healer of 1 Burns. Sores, Cuts and Wounds. 25c 1 Duke Drug Co. I In the Days ol the Present. "You think sho means to marry blrn ?" i "I do." "But she was engaged to threo men before, and all at ouo time." < "Yew, but thnt was before Christmas." I Self Control. J "Bertie really U very clover." ' "Wbero do you cco It?" "Well, he must have some brain capacity, and be keeps absolutely from 1 ( sUowlojf'auy Bigus Of tt." -^4 ~ . . %% . / ' r| I Humor and Philosophy By DUNCAN M. SMITH 4 FRAYED. Those N?w Year's resolutions Which but a week ago lx>oked fresh and bright S.r-s now a sightIn fact, If you must know. For they appear. I greatly fear, Much like a dfsh of crow. To SCO how they disported And started to cut Ice, You wouldn't guess that so much 1?-3S C Than one week would sufllce rj To make them plno In a decline And look like less thun twice. When they wero young and charniit.ff. About three seconds old, With purpose high they meant to try A winning hand to hold And make a hit and not to quit Before the Ink was cold. They started In the business Their maker to reform. His lamp to trim and make of him A proposition warm. But ono large thirst observed hlrn first And put them out of form. Alas for resolutions! They strike a frenzied gait. Resolved to do a thing or two And move the earth na freight, ? But And boforo a week is o'er n Their hats are not on straight. I Trying the Ground First. "Will you bo a dear sister to me?" "IIow absurd!" I\ "Indeed! Then perhaps you'll tunrry no." Shoveling Snow. r: Shoveling snow Is n gladsome operation for the small boy with his flrst [>nlr of boots who is only allowed to (] ook at the desirable labor through the ? window. lie thinks if be oould only get out It there with a shovel throe sizes too big q for him nnd clear the walks throughjut the livelong day he would ask for ao greater happiness. That Isn't the way he feels about It, if liowcver, a few years later when Ills ?, Tather thrusts the shovel Into his uu- r' willlug hands and tells him to dig. 'I .\hOUt that time In life he has developed to a point where he thinks that sitting under a palm tree on some tropical P Island would be quite as enjoyable uport. That is the way with most of our _ tasks. We want to knock down wire _ fences to get at tbeui before our turn B ?omcs, and then when we find out what die work Is like we are glad of a chance bo sneak off and hire a small boy for a quarter to finish the Job. Watchful. While congress worlceth earnestly And means to do what's right. The railroads can't their finish see, . Although their eyes are bright. L( Even More Effective. I "She must have hypnotized him before he nsked her to marry him." "Well, It was about the same tilling. _ She showed him her bank account." V Takes Rare Courage. 1 "I will never marry a coward." "I suppose the man will have to at least be brave enough to ask you." Ic Neglected Education. ^ "Money talks, you know." >? "Yes, but I can't understand what the \\ blamed tiling is trying to tell me." M PCOT PAD AT-P ADUC A A A A U\i 4VIU U A M' If every day were holidays we'd soon V Tear out our Sunday clothes. 1 If every month were lovely May a walsklu sack would be no treasure. #* ? _ Beauty unadorned has a sharp ey? jut for tho millions. It would take something more powerrut than a stroke of lightning or nn rartliquakc to Jar a good grafter loose 'rom his Job. When a good loser goes broke It Is a jure sign that there's going to be something doing. Ul G Frank people are often disagreeable, ?ut that Isn't the reason they're frank. ^ ? Si The moro you lose your temper tho w nore you have. |'^ Graft by nny other name would steal W is much. dj OJ An aristocrat Is one whose family " ias had leisure to make up fairy stories I x> explain the cussedness of Its far* , wars. Nothing Is apt to be fashionable that uniforms with ths ordinary miss of fj " wwa jw*-. ; . ? , ,i . -'iTStiidh I'HALF We have redt of our very fi just Half Pri made a Half I Never before v an opportunit fine goods so c The rest of tin still going at1 prices. Stov* Organs, Macli phones, small etc., all inclu<j W O N I) IZ R ? BWMHW?WW?B?Til ! WTBJ A Mystery Solved. "How to keop off perimlical attacks biliousness and habitual constipation is a mystery that Dr. King's Now Life lis solved for me," writes John N. easant, of Magnolia, Ind. The only lis that are guaranteed to give perfect tisfaction to everybody or money rcnded. Only 25c at Duke Drug Co. X^ALL PAPER ew Stock of the Latest Styles and Patterns. lass, Picture Eraming. >ur stock is large and comlete; the goods are here and will surprise you how nick, how nice and how heap we do the work. The repair part of our bustess has been behind but is atching up and will in the iture be run on time. KILLINGS, THE PAPER MAN. OILERS AND ENGINES. Tanks, Stacks, Stand Pipes, and Sheet Iron Work; Shafting, Pulleys, Gearing, Boxes, Mangers, etc. Mill Castings. Cast every day; work 200 hands. imbard Foundry Machine and Boiler Work and Supply Store. Augusta, Georgia. Weekly Prices. leal June Peas, per can 10c ayfield June Peas, per can... 15c igar Corn, 10c and 15c omatoes, 10c and 15c kra and Tomatoes -15c ig Hominy 10c in Apples 10c iney Dessert Peaches 25c luer Kraut, per pound 5c nions, per peek 40c ish Potatoes, per peek 40c rhite Fish, per pound 7c rhite Beans 10c o Java Coffee 25c Guaranteed to give satisfaction. V. Newell Smith. Phone 126. verybody Selling Out at Cost But Me! There is one thing that I rish to impress you with, id that is, if you want Dress J _ * * n * e ioous see my line iirst; it ou want a Hat or a pair of hoes see my line; if you rant a Suit of Clothes be jre and see my line; if you 'ish anything in Merchanise see me before buying id you will profit thereby, remain Yours for Business, iEO. W. GOING. i r PRICE!'1 ? iced the price nest goods to ce, and have Price counter. /as there such y to get such heap in Union, e entire stock | 5/3 off regular jj is, Furniture, f lines, Qrapho=. a I Instruments,^ ^ led. S T O R B. if You Want ANYTHING In the Drug Line call at the Palmetto Drug Co. We keep a full line of Extracts, Toilet Articles, Sta- ^ tionery, Patent Medicines of W 1 all kinds, Combs and Brushes and a full line of Stock Food. We also fill all Doctor Prescriptions at any and all times, using nothing but pure drugs and chemicals. You can also get a bottle of Huiet's All-Healing Liniment that is guaranteed if it does not do you any good bring back the empty bottle and get your 25c as that is all it costs you. Palmetto Drug Co., Huiet ?i Ren wick, Owners. EMBROIDERY SALE ?AT? Mrs. D. N. Wilburn's My annual Embroidery Sale will be FEBRUARY 9th and I Oth. I have obtained a larger and better assortment of Embroidery than ever before. I contracted for this Embroidery while cotton was low and my customers will get the benefit of it. The Greatest of?WBargains will be offered these / two days. Allover Embroidery to be sold at only 10c per yard. Some short lengths worth anywhere from 10c to 20c will be sold at 5c. Big inducements on Ribbons and Lace. DON'T FAIL TO COME! MRS. D. N. W1LBDRN. LAWSON'S GRIP CAPSULES # AND LORENZ'S COUGH CURE fnsk 9S Tpnt? Farh If they satisfy you?But not one cent if they do not. Every package of each one is sold under our positive guarantee?to refund the price to every dissatisfied user of| them. ^ Can Anything be fairer? DUKE DRUG CO. UnAor Hotel Union. Union, 8. 0. a