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< 1 A YANKEE TRICK < H (Original.] AVblle dining Informally with iu;. friends the Pax tons the subject turue.l upon the English railway coachos and the liability of traveler* to be shut u;> lu one of their compartments with a cutthroat or a lunatic, Paxtou. wllj waa English born, defended the system, pronouncing the American plan only fit for cattle moving, lie declared that Americans preferred their curs because. having access to one another, they were free to practice their Yankee trjj-ks on each other. "He knows better than that," saUl Mrs. Paxton. "At any rate 1 do, as 1 will prove to you If you will listen to VITA "At ouo time, before I was married, we were stopping iu London, Father wns busy all day witb some fiuuuclai affair, nud mother wns confined to the liouso under the care of a nurse. 1 'did' nil the sights of the city, including the Tower# the British musomu, the parks, aud then I thought I would take a run to Ilainptou Court. I had no business to go off alone. It would have beou all right at home, hut there it was not in good form. In Paris it would have been impossible. Nevertheless I had Just enough of Ynukoe independence iu me to make the trip, aud, driving to the station, 1 got aboard the train, stepping Into a lirst elas.j carriage. I was delighted to notice that I wa< the only occupant and much illsappointed just before the train started at the entrance of a gentleman. Without noticing me he sat down in the farthest corner aud hurled himself in a newspaper. "Where had 1 seen that face before? Was It ut llic National gallery or In Ilydo park or both? It seemed to me tlint I bad seen It not only once, but several times. It could not bare been at any social g altering? at least there . bad been no Introduction?or be would have given me an opportunity to how to him. Instead be paid 110 more attention to me than if I bad been a maidservant, though I wore my smartest costume Just out of tlie tailor's bauds." "Were you out to catch a British husband?" laughed Paxtou. "What do you mean? You know I had no idea of such a thing!" snapped his wife. Then after a pause she went on with her story. "The man after reading his paper for a few minutes began to yawn, then fell asleep. Presently he began to mutter. A could only hear snatches of what lie said, such as: 'There's a good time coining.' 'Britannia rules the wave/ 'My love lives over the sea/ Then lie would laugh and sing snatches of songs and talk again and laugh again, every time lau^liing louder tlian before. "Of course I was frightened out of my senses. I vowed tlint If I got out of the compartment alive I would never get Into another one. But 1 l'elt sorry for my traveling companion, who seemed to belong to the better class and was dressed like a gentleman." "Did you fall in love with hlin, EillleV" asked 1'axtou. "Not at all. He?his delirium or insanity or idiocy, whatever it was, kept increasing. I put my head out of the window to see if I could get a guard, but there was none in sight, and I desisted." "Swearing, dear?" from the husband. "You know very weir I did no such tiling, but I confess I abused the English system of railway conches, and I do not doubt the Englishman if he had lieen awake would have heard me plainly enough. He seenmUto fancy liitnself in all Rorts of places. At one time lie was playing cricket, at nuotber football, finally waking up with: 'Hurrah! Kicked a goal, by .love!' "As soon as lils eyes were opeu be looked nlionfr lilm vmnioiv u.nn ?? - ...... . ..1 , VUVU Ul U1C. Seeing that I was disturbed about something, he asked very deferent in My what it was and when I told hlin apologized. Haying tlint he had had no sleep for several days, during which he had been engaged In exciting work, and supposed his mental apparatus had goue on working while he was asleep. FTe was perfectly sane and very gentlema nllke. Having opeued a conversation. I told him where I was going, and he gave me a great deal of information about Cardinal Wolsey's palace. lie said lie knew all about it, because he had been studying It up in the guideIwiok for the purpose of visiting it and was on ills way there." "You Hurely didn't permit a stranger to Join you in that fashion?" remarked the husband. "What, could I do? Tlio gentleman seemed so interested In the palace and told me so many things that?well, w?r went through Hampton Court apd hack to London in the same compartment." "Phew!" exclaimed Paxton. "Did j-ou over hear the llko o' that?" "I see nothing especially unconventional in it," I replied, siding with the wife. "lio on, my dear," said Paxtou. "Give tis the rest of It, It's very exciting, you know. Did he get delirious on the way back?" "No, and I've never known him to talk In his sleep from that day to this." Faxtbn hurst Into a laugh, In which I, after taking In the situation, joined. "You Americans think you have a monopoly of Yankee tricks," said Paxton. "You haven't, as I proved. After following her all over London I accidentally naw her driving by my club, falling a cab, I caught her at the station. I racked my brain for an excuse to speak to her and was at last driven, to feign tho nonsense I gave her." "Do you mean to tell me," said Mrs. Paxton, "that this Is true?" "I do." "Well, I declare!" SJ. EUGENE DBAFE*. ; 1 r" ? "C Egg? 11 | < Humor <m3 Philosophy By DUNCAN M. SMITH ' .? I A PREDICTION. n 8 Tey, Christmas Is coming. . i You've heard that bo fore. But listen and maybe You'll henr it once mora. tl Tho man who don't know p I Quite us much us a cat, . I Or parrot, or monkoy, *la certain of that. li i On this proposition * Some people, in sooth. , " Think they have discovered v A shining new truth, ll When really the news j v Is old, as you might say, | As the time o4 the man Who invented tho day. 1 H Of course it is coming. ! Why shouldn't it come? If you know any reasons, j r Just please mention some. j r As certain as taxes, I ? ' Or death, or the flow t Of water downhill. v j Or an Uncle Tom show. F Then be on the lookout; i Remember the date: 3ome time In December; I I have the tip straight. c It's coming for certain? I This Isn't a "string"? Regardless of weather Or any old thing. I i i Hard Lines. B / w f I J "Isn't it awful? His wife takes in v washing to support him." j "Yes, it must he. No woman can make enough at that to support a man " ; in anything like comfort. I suppose at * i times lie even suffers for the necesslties of life." v Made the Difference. j "lie is the most absent minded man . I ever saw." "I hadn't noticed it." "Ever lend him any money?" "No; hut f borrowed some from him.*' \ Suggested. s If I could only have a show s At running things down here boloW, I'd try to engineer them so The pleasant things would be on tap * And trouble caught In its own trap. o u If I could only have a show, Thcro'd be no blindinK cold and snow, 11 And soft would all tho breezes blow; i The rain would only fall to cheer. j And flowers would blossom all tho , year. * If 1 were running everything. jl The winter would be always spring. With summer ever on the wing And Just ahead a little space t. A-leudlug us a merry chase. lj I'd do these things if I were It, And they might help a little bit. " k More Potent. 11 "He has decided to retire froui poll- ^ tics." 0 "On account of the pleadings of bis c wife?" "No; he has heard from the people." 0 v Disillusionized. 'j "He looks every Inch n soldier. Did ho win his spurs on the field of bat- ^ tier "No; he won them at n raffle, I believe." " Business Head. "Is she a practical woman?" j, "Is she practical? She charges her K husband ,r>0 cents for eack curtain lec- p tnre." j, PERT PARAGRAPHS. ? p Trntli teillng is very commendable, v bnt, considered as a profession, it is seldom profitable. 8 ~ d Keeping down expenses is related in p inverse ratio to keeping up appear- 1 K a noes. I a It is a very far cry when a tearful ti widow Journeys across the couutry to o see her lifte husband's folks. i S ? ! i? Some people can't help themselves a because others help themselves so v much. j a j tl Health culture is yCjEL what you have when you have bad o everything else. tl L J&r u Tl Borne people's aim li 3J\i I l( j ln 1,fe 18 a" ^ H ( 1 j bfl hut tbey never 1>U" 0 the trigger. The sheriff is ol>out the only man who nut?* to nave nis enemies around a him. tJ ? a There are some men who would be a distinctly l>eneflted If they would lose their temper for keeps. h ? h Women may run to clubs nil right 1? until they have n quarrel. Then the y men have to step in to settle It. ~ t< Beauty Is only skin deep, but the average man doesn't carry X rays in his k head. lr Women admire strength in meu?not ai of breath. ? ei The world may owe every man a llv- U Ing, but it took a change of venue long 1c |w' ... .... I, > AN AUTUMN EPISODE > [Original 1 I eloetod to take ray "Vacation In the utumu. What I wanted was rest, nud ummer outing are usually anything ut restful. I went to the Buckingam Inn, located iu a lovely country otted here and there with handsome uraraer cottages. I did not arrive till hrtobcr was naif spent niul the regutir summer lnmrders had gone hack to own and were doubtless hard at work gain. Morning and evening there rere blazing logs In the great fireplace II the nmiibbull, where the liotel o<Bce ras located, but duriug tbe middle of he day artificial heat was unuecesary. I wag very indolent. 1 sat most of he day at the window in this ofitee oowi looking out on the white hard oud over which occasionally bowled i carriage. Beyond the road were voods looking for nil the world as If a winter bad dabbed them with different olors. Above tbe woods was the blue ky. 1 say the blue sky because durug ray stay it was seldom hidden by louds. In a leather covered easy chair sat and looked nt tbe road, the cartages, tbe variegated wood and the klna ..1-P One day a carriage passed In which at an old gentleman and a young girl. L'lio girl's was one of those serious aces that are seldom seen in young icople?the face of one who endures or ins endured some great grief. The yes were large, and in them one night see in eonneetion with other tenures of the face a marvelous depth of ecling, nil unusual strength of cliavicter. I can best describe her by cointariug her with one who lives under u iliysleal Might, such as being deaf and luutb or blind. However, tlie carriage [uiekly passed, and these impressions vlileh 1 have given at length were but nomentary. The next day ait the same hour? ilumt o o'clock in the afternoon?the aine carriage with the same oecupants I rove by again. This time a revelation vas given me. The girl and 11:;"* old re'itloman wore speakhig tlie sign lanIiiarge for deaf mutes with their lingers, was surprised at how hard hit I was ?y the discovery. I had felt sure some thysical blight was on the poor girl, nit hoped that it might lie something ess than this?a lameness, a withered irni.j. But not to hear the sound of V oiees, to he deprived of all sweet I ouiuls, especially those conveying ympntliy?it is terrible. After that I used to take my seat at he window every day shortly before 3 'clock, and the carriage with the old [cntlemaii and my sad faced deaf mute isuully went liy. I asked the clerk of lie hotel if lie knew who they were, le gave nie a name and said they [rove every day to the house cf a relnive?an old woman. This is ail the nformntlon lie could give inc. As the eusou progressed and it grew colder he driving became less frequent and cfore tlie 1st of November ceased. One doy, buttoning n light overcoat 1 bout mo, I wont out for n walk. I opt the road for awhile, then struck nto the woods. The summer was long ying. Usually at the time in that lonlity there is nothing green left exept the cedars and some vines. Now he maples were yellow and ml, the aks were a faded green, the chestnuts rere withered, but the leaves still ung to the trees. The ground was trowu with acorns, hickory nuts and host nut burs. Most of the burs had >ecu opened, but by hunting nbout, asking the dead leaves aside. 1 would ecasioually come upon a fut nut. On oming to au opening I looked out ou n expansive view lying below. The rees through which I gazed, their yt-Ijw leaves gilded by the afternoon uu, were a littlug- frame for the picure. The laudscape Itself was bathed ii the same autumn light and was ereened by a thin mist?a garment nor than the finest laeu that nature uts on when nbout to retire for her rInter nap. Vaulting .. stone wall, I descended a lope, kicking the leaves?as I love to o?making my way toward a rustic ridge, but seeing traces of nuts under ouie trees I was passing I yielded to childish propensity to gather a few. was busy at this when I heard voices chlud me and, turning, saw my girl f (he carriage with several children, lie whs' looking at nie with those exresslve eyes ns much as to ask, "What re .you doing here?" 1 realised that I ras in private grounds and >, islied o pologize, l>ut^.nlns, I did not know lie sign lun^unge. "Are yoti (hiding any nuts /" The words came like an augel's voice ut of the sky. .Could it oe possible lint they had been spoken by my deaf lute? I was too surpris??d, too deghted, to take any notice of what had een suid t me, though m.v lint came IT instinctively. "Can it bi iiossible Unit I am tresassing?" I sold at last. "These are private grout: l.?r, but you re quite welcome. In nv inner, when lie country is full of peop.-\ we put up sign, but now it's a little lonely here, nd we like to see some one." "Yon nro very kind. P> you know I ave seen you often pass the Bueklngam inn, where I mn staying, and I ave made a singular mistake about on? I thought you n deof mute." "That's uncle. You saw me talking > him in the sign language." I made no reply to this, hut. she must eve seen an indescribable happiness i iny face, for she said: "I cannot see why you should take n Interest u n stranger." That was he heginuing of it or, rath\ the end f the heginuing. We hopo uxt the final ending will not come till >ng after our silver wedding. 8. HUr* ""VY. the Horse** Hoof. In its present elaborate form the hoof of a horse is tho most perfect Instrument of support which has been devised in the nulmnl kingdom to uphold a large and swiftly moving animal in its passage over the ground. The original toe nnil and the neighboring soft parts connected with it have l>een modified into a structure which In an extraordinary manner combines solidity with elasticity, so that it may strike violent blows upon the liard surface of the earth without harm. The result Is that the horse can enrry a greater weight at a swifter speed than any other animal approaching it in size. A Hatter'* Trick. "There are trick* in every trade, you know," said a New York clubmun. "Even in retail hat selling many dodges are employed. "I said to a hatter one day: " 'I don't see how you cau afford to irou for nothing all the silk huts you sell.* "The man nodded at me gravely. " 'Wo have to do It, sir.' he said. 'The hats would Inst too long if wc didn't.'" The LaNt Word. "Does your wife Insist 011 having the last word?" asked the person who Indulges In impertinent questions. "Not at all," answered Mr. Meek ton "It is quite e" binary for uie to close the couversatii. with 'very well,' 01 ?onie such remark, to indicate that 1 understand what Henrietta Intends tc convey."?Washington Star. Took the Hint. "This seems like a sweet dream," he rapturously remarked as ho lingered with her at the doorstep. "It.doesn't seem like a dream to me," she replied, "for a dream soon vanishes, you know." He vanished. He Knew Her. "1 can't decide," she said, "whether tc take the hat or not, but it is Just the dearest thing I've seen this season." "The dearest?" asked -the husband with a sardonic laugh. "Then It's cer tain tliat you'll take It." Nothlnir Jicw. "Do you believe In original sin?" "No; there's no such tiling. They'v? all been used hundreds of times. Cleveland Deader. Duty puts a elear sky over ever] man. into which the skylark of liappl ness always goes singing, -frontiee. Huge Task. It was a huge task, to undertake th cure of such a bad case of kidney di sease, as that of C. F. Collier, of Clierc kce, la., but Electric Bitters did it.* II writes: "My kidneys were so far gone .1 could not sit 011 a chair without 1 cushion; and suffered from dreadfu backache, headache, and depression In Electric Bitters, however, I found 1 cure, and by them was restored to per feet health. T wivimmnnil fl.Su tonic medicine to all with weak kidneys liver or stomach. "^Guaranteed by F 0 Duke, druggist; price 50c. Wonders or the Kye. Viewed as an optical Instrument, the huir.au eye may well he called perfect, for It is an apparatus contained lu ft globe less than an Inch in diameter, In which la produced an image practically perfect In form and color and which can be accurately adjusted almost instantly for every distance from live Inches to infinity, which .is movable in every direction, has an area small enough for the detection of the most minute details and at the same time large euougli for the appreciation of large objects, and which enables us to see all shades of color and to estimate distance, solidity, and, to some extent, the consistency of objects, and yet this wonderful instrument, perhaps the most varied In Its capabilities of any part of the body, Is persistently misused and neglected. Is It any wonder that some day nature resents tills treatment and leaves the offenders In total and perpetual blindness? The Nnme of Clilnn. We speak of China and the Chinese, little thinking that the natives of the Flowery Kingdom never hear those tonus until after leaving the place of their birth or coming in contact with some traveler. Tliey lmve many names by wlilch they designate themselves and the land which they inhabit, but Chinese and Clilnn are not among the number. The most ancient name of China Is Tlenlial, which signifies "beneath the sky." Since the present ruling house took control of the empire in 1GT)0 the nnme of Tatsingkwoh has been applied to the kingdom as a whole and Cbungkwoh to that portion known to American renders as the Middle Kingdom. Still llntl n Little Pride. "Wlmt la thin man nliopfrml wrltliV nuked the police Justice. "Stealing n dog, your honor," said the officer. "Well, sir, what have you got to say for yourself?" "Your honor," answered the prisoner, drawing a grimy cont sleeve across his nose, "if you'll make it embezzlement I'll ptend guilty. I may l>e a thief, but I've got feelings."?Chicago Tribune. No Secret About It. It is no secret, that for Cuts, Burns Ulcers, Fever Sores, Sore Eyes, Boils etc., nothing is so effective as fiucklen' Arnica Salve. "It didn't take long ti cure a bad sore I had, and it is all O. K for sore eyes," writes D. L. Gregory, o Hope, Tex. 26c at F. C. Duke's drui store. CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY EXCURSION RATES VIA SOUTHERN -1 RAILWAY. 1 On account of Christmas Holidays, l | Southern Railway will sell tickets I from all points cast of the MississipI pi and south of the Ohio rivers and to St. Ixmis, Mo., and intermediate points at rate of one and one-third first class one way fares, plus twen- \ ty-five cents for the round trip . (minimum rate 50 cents.) Tickets { to 1m; sold December 22nd, 23rd, ' 21th, 25th, 30th, 31st, 1005, and January 1st, 1000, with final limit January 4th, 1900. 1 Tickets for teachers and students of schools and colleges will be sold December 17th to 24th, 1905, with final limit January 8th, 1900, upon presentation and surrender of certificates signed by superintendents, principals and "presidents of the various institutions of learning. For further information apply to i any Southern Rail why ticket agent or R. \V. Hi nt, Bkooks Moiu;an, D. 1?. A., A. G. P. A., Charleston, 8. C. Atlanta, Ga. TUC DCDCmT \AI A V/ I ML TLrVTLUI VVHT ! Scores of Union People Have Learned It. If you suffur from backache, there is only one way to cure. The perfect way is to cure the kidneys. A bad baca means sick kidneys .Neglect it, urinary ! troubles follow. Doan's Kidney Pills 1 are made for kidneys only. Thomas Peden, stock buyer and ' trader, living on Depot street Chester, S. C , says: "The remarkable amount of benefit I received from the use of Doan's Kidney Pills has convinced me that they are a great kidney and hackache remedy. For a lonj< time my hack pained across the loins and alI though I have used many liniments ! and all kinds of plasters it was always the same old ache until I used Doan's , Kidney PPIs. The result of a brief treatment astonished me. I have not had a backache since I used them and I have felt the strengthening ellect in every way." For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, ? New York, sole agents forthe United - States. Remember the name?Doan'B?and take no other. Dying of Famine. is, in its torments, like dying of consumption. The progress of consumption, from the beginning to the very end, is a long torture, both to victim and friends. "When I had consnmpe tion in its first stage," writes Wm. l" Myers, of Cearfoss, Md., after trying different medicines and a good doctor, ? in vain, I at last took Dr. King's New !? Discovery, which quickly and perfectly ^ cured me." Prompt relief and sure II cure for coughs, colds, sore throat, bron' oli it is, etc. Positively prevents pneua monia. Guaranteed at F. C. Duke's drug store, price 50c and $1.00 a bottle 1 Trial bottle freo. >, WE SAVE YOU MONEY BY BUYING YOUR XIMAS GOODS AT THE Palmetto Drug Co., Huiet & Ronwick, Owners. THE Cash bargain Store has received a large line of Ladies Neckwear and Handkerchiefs. These collars and Handkerchiefs will be sold at wholesale prices, so it will pay those who wish to buy Collars and Handkerchiefs to. call at once and get first choice. All ladies appreciate collars and handkerchiefs for Christmas Presents. Isn't it so? Try it and see. We have an elaborate line of useful Xmas Presents, such as Shawls, Bibles, Wrist Bags, Gloves, Combs ,^-Ribbons, ; -Baby Caps, Suspenders, Hoss iery, etc, l^pnpwj MSJ^WILBURN.' ?1???m??i?rm* SOUTHERN RAILWAY* rHE SOOTH'S GREATEST SYSTEM. Unexcelled Dining- Car Service. Througn Pullman Sleeping Cars on all Through Trains?Convenient Schedule on all Local Trains. Winter Tourist Rates are now in effect to all Florida joints. For full information is to rates, routes, etc., consult nearest Southern Railway ricket Agent or BROOKS MORGAN, R. W. HONT, A. G. P. A., I). P. A., Atlanta, (la. Charleston,S.C. ...We Make... H I i v I p r>' <1 - - w a a_rf ?--* I\ k/ Our Chief Attraction for the Christmas Trade. We have the most Ijtftutiful line of packages ever shown in candies in this town. The name HUYLER'S is a magic word with every twentieth century lady.- It makes an impression that even time cannot destroy. Young man you cannot afford to take chances; get your girl a box of Huyler's in Christmas dress. We can supply the more matter of fact folks too with a number of useful articles and at prices too that will make them glad. Come to see us and let us show you. DUKE DRUG CO*% Under Hotel Union. Union. S. C. XMAS PRICES Oranges, 25, oO and 10c. ?= Bananas, 20c. Kaisins, loc, or 2 pounds for 2">c. Rice, 5 and 8c. Malaga Grapes 20c Hcin/.'s Apple Butter, in crock ^0c TToJM/'U ? AAVitiM U 1UHKIU' \ UIIU'V ^'JC Heinz's Stuffed Olives 30c Heinz's Queen Olives 40c Heinz's Olive Oil 35c Heinz's Indian Relish 30c Ileinz's Large Bottle Pickles... 35c Heinz's Mustard Dressing 25c Heinz's Pickled Onions 20c Heinz's Prepared Mustard 10c I have Mrs. Wiggs Pickles also Eagle Condensed Milk 25c Dime Condensed Milk 10c Evaporated Cream oc Don't forget that I have a big stock of Fire Works. W. Newell Smith. The Hole in the Wall To arrive this week the nicest and mnct i ...vrwk V? iV UUIC line of Picture Framing ever in town; the get up and price will always be right. Window Glass, all sizes. CUT PRICES fOR 30 DAYS jj Window Shades for store or residence, any size, color, qulity or quantity; orders taken and prompt deliveries guaranteed. Look for my ad on Wall Paper. The price will make it interesting. I am ready for any and all repairing, upholstering or mattres making that comes in. MILLINGS, THE PAPER MAN. uur Business Appeals lo Reason 0) The man with normalmind ?the all round level-headed man Will weigh some things for himself. He does not expect to buy something for nothing. He does expect dependable goods for a legitimate price. This "something for nothing" idea, this "preposterous special sale" craze is a popular scheme to palm off hard stock. New, clean, up-to-date, reliable i merchandise bought for spot I cash has a fixed commercial 'M value. Such goods are in ^ great demand with intelligent buyers, as^ is demonstrated every day by GEO. W. GOING.