The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, December 08, 1905, Image 6
$ THE OLD MAN T
) OF THESEA|
.Original.*
In "The Arabian Night** Cutcrtalouients."
a hook that hn* delighted millions
of |>eople both n|i| nml .voting, Is
a ntvry of liotv jtln thai! the Sailor was
requested to toko an old mau on his
boulders and cany blru across u
stream. tV'icn the old man was seenreIjr
fixed la his position be refused to
get down, nod fcindhad was obliged to
hear ti'o burden Indefinitely. I am remind.
-1 of this story of the "Old Mnu
of the 5c?" In something similar that I
happened to cie when I was young.
ttof.v.e settling down to tny profession,
Laving pi t aside enough money
to spend a t'esv months In Kurope. I
went abroad. The sum was only $300,
and I was obliged to pioeo It out by
doing a good deal of walking. Ouo day
1 was trudging along through tlie Kn .'?r1ing
?rlinn I nmrto..L? .1 fo*.
some reason was having u hanl time to j
g"t on. i When I cnuie up with him I
>id hUn good morning nud asked hlni
if I iVjuld be of any assistance to lilni.
"TtVn might help me along to tiie next
hotel,\ ho said. "Tt's only nbout a
tullo." i
I to< lit his arm. and as we walked
slowly 011 he told me that he was
Ilnoch Crane, an American. lie had
long IVen ailing, and his doctor had
sent hfin abroad. EIo. like myself, was
walk I,rig because ho conhln't afford to
ride.(> When we got to the Inn I took
him, to .1 room and helped him to bed?
a bed from which he was destined
nearer to arise. He was very ill in the 1
n light, and I tat with him till near
njtbrnlng.
/; Having my time laid out and none
to lose. I proposed after breakfast to 1
ppeeeed on my Journey, but Mr. Crane ,
f begged me so pitifully not to desert a i
y fellow countryman among strangers
that I agrec-l to remain with him tin- I
other day. At the end of that day T 1
was constrained to remain another and
tiil I > tl.o *I?.m ..ll?tl?.l
for my travel* slipping away from i
mc and I taking care of a sick man '
m little Swiss Inn.
T? this way the whole lime 1 had |
laid out for my trip passed and the i
t:mft for mc? to go homo Arrived. Tho !
?ld nuiu was sinking rapidly, and the
village doctor told him that ho had better
prepare his affairs for a journey to
another world. Then Mr. Crane railed
me to Ids bedside and said to me:
' You toll tne you are going home. 1
beg of you not to leave my body in this
faraway land, but to take it with
you. I have expected to die over liere
and have mad? every provision, having
inquired tho cost of removal In
every particular. Yon will find exactly
the amount in my wallet under my
pillow. Take my body to It.. Id It.
county, in Massachusetts, and about a
mile north of the village on the V.
turnpike is a lot forty feet square inclosed
with stones taken off the ground.
In the center Is n space marked by
four posts, where tho grave is to lie
located. This is not all. I want you
to he ?nsto<llnn of my grave. Send for
a notary and I will draw up a paper
transferring the lot to you with everything
It contains, which, of course. Is
my body."
What n situation?nty trip spoiled,
obliged to go homo in company and in
care of the corps? of the man who had
spoiled it. and my pay was a plot of
ground not worth ?20, which, after nil,
I must hold for a grave. Nevertheless
1 consented. 1 cannot claim that I did
It solely front kindly motives. lOuoch
Crane possessed a singular influence
over lite. Often during nuy attendance
tipou him I wondered If I were really
myself, if I wore not under some spell.
At such times I invariably thought of
Sindbad the Kailor.
When Mr. Crane died I possessed
myself of his wallet, which, in addition
to money. remained nn nceouut for expenses
figured down to llio closest possible
amount, It struck me that ho most
have been afraid 1 would reap a few
dollars out of the transaction. It paid
the way exactly, and I expended the
last dollar hi ha ring the body transferred
to the grave. I bad promised
Air. Crane that I would see the grave
dug. the body lowered and the earth
put hack, all under iny own superintendence.
To do this I must pay for
my own carriage. Clad of the prospect
of getting the disagreeable matter off
my hands, I secured two men with the
necessary Implements and was soon
standing beside them as they dug the
grave iKdween the posts Crane had described.
They had gone down about
four feet when one of them threw up
a tin box. I took charge of It. but
since it was locked I was obliged to
wait my rctnrn to the village before
examining it. I presumed It to bo nu
other whim of the man who was being
hurled.
Flaring kept nty promise to the letter,
I drove hack to the village and.
enlling for a room in the little hotel,
proceeded to open the box. It contained
a number of envelopes. From the
topmost I drew n paper. It recounted
the wrongs heaped upon Enoch Crane
by his relatives?ho had no wife or
una?anu uicir iH'ynifKKuvss in permitting
him to go nhrond nlone In
Ho:irrh of health. The nest envelope
contained n paper 'willing the content?
of the bos to the owner of the lot In
which It was found. The remaining envelopes
coutnlned stocks nud bonds
. worth $2m.onn.
It was some time before I could tin
d erst and that in a twinkling I had
ome Into possession of n fortime.
This whs owing to my being dazed, for
never was there n clearer cose, f
owned the lot, and the owner of the
lot owned the property found In it.
Before leaving America the invalid had
arranged to reward any friend lie
might find.
_ ARTHUR V BERWICK.
'
Humor ?d Philosophy
By DUNCAN N. SMITH
4 <
PERT PARAGRAPHSA
doctor Is a man who a saints cither
1 to lift or to foreclose the mortgage yon
|?nr?. foolt?hlv pot en yotir health.
I
| Thv man who bollevna h? luck always
I as a kick coming.
'J'be grouchy ^
, nicu xvlid Dave
! no difficulty In
; keeping their
: ooifc* nre most- jff
Shopping is a
war women
have of entertuinlug
them- ^jr iY)
selves without Ki
paying for it. Mpr
If Juries grew on peach tree.* some
lawyers would take n week lu picking
one.
The waitlug game docs not pay in the
long ran unless the tips are heavy.
No girl is au old maid who doesn't
look the part, and not then, either, If
she objects to the honorable title.
Tims? people we are told can't stand
prosperity manage to wiggle through
it some way.
The man who doesn't know what he
wants and doesn't know what he does
not want ought to take a wife for what
ails him.
Strangely enough, the bashful man
who doesn't know what to do with his
hands doesn't envy the armless wonder.
lu the jKillec for?*e there is n vast
difference lictweon a shake np and a
shako down.
Tht Greatest Scientist.
Was over scientist so great.
So -.vise or eo surprising
A? he who latel> rune around,
The copy books despising.
And knocked the props from underneath
Otir old foe, early rlslngf
It used to bo that health and wraith
And every other blessing
Came to the fellow who wa* prompt I
About hts morning dressing.
Hut now the scientist declares
That theory wns hut guessing.
The morn lug v'r which o'er the town
lu mis;;- hasc Is wreathing
Is. so scientists declare,
With noxious gsisee seething.
Not fit for forks particular
At nil nhout their breathing.
Bo he who spends the morning hours
In sweet and placid snoring
Will not hat e sickness and the like
On hand to bo deploring.
Hut will the waste of yesterday
He rapidly restoring.
Then hull the man who knocked great
holes
In tbf? old sppcr?C(Uon 1
I.Ike Caesar's wife, this scientist
Is quite above suspicion.
We'll sleep until the sun Is high
( Now that we have permission.
Almost Hopeless.
; "1 wonder If they will ever Invent a
smokeless cigar."
"No, l?it I do hope we will gome
time develop n race of cignrloss men.*'
Showed Their Age.
) "He Is looking for now features for
his fIiow."
J "lie needs them, I>ld you notice the
fenttires on his chorus girls?"
Misfit Name.
"Why do they en If this nn O'commodm
Ion train?'
"Must be because there are no accommodations
on It."
The Similarity.
"Why does ho remind yon of h woin|
en's hammer?"
I "Because ho files off the handle nt
! every little rap."
Owing to the Ciunate.
When customers had not the price
fie kindly put it ilown on fee.
I At first Rinnce you would call that nice,
But watt and sec.
For, though ho kept that ktnd of score,
ITe ran the only north pole store.
And It would keep for years and more,
Plain as could be.
Didn't Show It.
"I* he a friend of the family?"
"Not intimate?at least they do not
appear to know anything disreputable
! about his past life."
Not Desperate.
"Will you Join mo in a lobster suyper"
"No. thanks; I haven't Joined the sulfide
Hub yet."
Threw It Away.
!{ said he'd die for freedom
Rut. oli, he would be free.
It was the only thing worth while.
As far <u> he coula see.
But, after speaking highly
Of freedom one sad day,
The fdlfow weqt and married
> And threw it all away. |
i? ? ????
[Coprrlght. 1906, by Homer Bprorue)
Just when Mr. Nlckelby became n reformist
he could not fix by exact date.
Ho had always had a fellow feeling
I for his fellow men and had always
wished them to walk In straight paths,
but he bad arrived at middle age bej
fore this feeling began to He heavily
I on bis mind. When he started out In
J the reforming business there wore poo'
pie who called It a fad and referred to
hlro as daffy, but no matter how good
tho cause there are people who will always
speak ill of It.
j Xtckclby's family went to the coun;
try, and he occupied the bouse o'
nights. One night ot inklnigbt he was
j awnkoucd from his sound sleep by a
hand being laid on his shoulder. He
opened his eyes to see a stranger hovering
over him.
"Mr. Nickelby," said the man, "1 am
a bnrglnr. I have called to talk with
yon. I have taken the liberty of preparing
a little lunch downstairs, and I
. should liko to have you Join me."
I "Tills seems to be a gigantic piece of
I cheek," replied tho reformist as he got
! slowly out of bed. "If Fd had one mlu
j tite's notice I'd have txjen ready to
I send n bullet Into you!"
j "That's human Inconsistency. For
. years yon have been wanting to have
' a free, frank chat with a burglar and
! convince him of the error of his ways
. and bring nbont n reformation. I
I conic at last, and you are sorry tbat
' you did not meet mc with a ballet."
I "Put you have broken into my
house!"
I "But that is a part of my business.
Having broken into your bouse as I
j have you cannot doubt that I am what
i I claim to bo. I,et tis now go down to
the lunch."
ill. Nickelby didn't like it at ull. lie
wanted all burglars to reform, but he
j wanted it done by programme. The
lunch didn't amount to much. Aside
from four ham saudwiches brought in
by the burglar himself there were a
bottle of wine taken from tbe cellar j
| nnd a supply of cigars. The burglar
motioned bis host to a seat at the head
, of the table, passed him a sandwich
' and a glass of wine and then courteously
said:
"Now go ahead and ask me any
questions j-ou will. It will bo the first
tiuie I have ever submitted to an Interview."
I "This house Is defended by a burglar
alarm, nnd I don't see how you entered
It," replied the reformist, who
couldn't get over his feelings In the
matter.
j "Easy as pie, my -dear sjr. I had
only to cut the wire outside the house.
; l)o you wish to know why I became a
burglar?"
i "You can state the case If you wish,
but tomorrow I'll raise hob with the
police for not spotting you off before
' you got in here."
I "Don't do it Statistics will show
that there are Just as many burglaries
now as before a policeman was Invented.
You would only be throwing your
time away. At thirty yean? old 1 was
n minister of a congregation In n country
town. My salary was $200 a year
and was behind half the time. I made
the change Jn order to make a living.
I have made an average of $5,000 a
year as against yon. Have you any
criticisms to make? Have you anything
as good to offer ine if I will reform
?"
| "You'd get at least f.vc years if arrested
for breaking In here,*' sulkily
replied the reformist.
"Not a doubt of it, but I shan't l>c
arrested. If I promise to mend my
ways can yon get me a Job of driving
nn ice wagon at $0 per week?"
"You ought to reform because It Is
wrong to be criminal."
"Oh, bad I? I ought to walk the
streets looking for n Job because I
want to be an honest man. How about
every alderman In town? Llow about
every merchant? IIow nl<ont the tens
of thousands of men who are cbeatlng
and swindling and robbing every day?
Uo to n man who sells coffee. It Is 80
per cent adulteration. Will be stop because
you say It is wrong?"
j "But you are a burglar!"
j "It is a distinction without a difference.
Instead of robbing tbo city 1 rob
one residence. Instead of mixing half
cotton with my wool 1 use false keys
to enter n dwelling. Yon are in tho
cloth business. There ore more tricks
: in yonr trade than In mine. Are you
j willing to reform?"
"If you had come to mo and said you
j wanted to reform I should have stood
ready to? to"?
"Yes; go on. You would have stood
ready to give me a dollar and your best
advice, and within a week I would
have been a starving man. It won't do,
old fellow. It's nil sawdust. Wo arc
nil out for the dough, Including yourself,
and none of ns Is going to give up
a good thing for the sake of free soup
and a bed under a stairway. Cut It
out and save your wind. Now, then, I
have packed tip n bundle in tbo hall. It
I contains a few pieces of silver, two
I suits of your clothes and a few other
things. They are my perquisites, and
If you object It will bo llio worse for
you
"I may como again at the end of
three months. If I do I hope to hear
lhat you have gone out of the cloth
business and are selling toothpicks and
giving full measure for the money.
I'erhnps I may bo so situated as to offer
you a dollar a day to drlro an express
wagon.
"Another glass of wine? No? Have
a smoke? No again? Well, I'll bid you
good night and be going. I stand ready
to reform at any time, but I've got to
have shoes for iny feet and something
for my stomach to work on In the new
fkrnr??arlrm." M flrtiTI
wtirvemsMHOtor-h-m'
_ v
i We War
in Thi;
to work up our
who knows som
culating newspaj
a man who can
The Saturday E
week, and look
the sales, and t
get regular cust<
good paying bus
right here. ll^r
the curtis pub
rMlLAL?L
?1?7 < berry Street
jMj^ChoIce^
(Original.)
' Tito doctor tells me," said uiy father
one morning after breakfast, "that
this heart of mine Is liable to take me
off at any moment. Before I go 1
vvlsb to aee yon married. I would be
glad if you could bare a romance, but
romances will not be bidden; they
come when they pleaso or not at all.
I must therefore ask you to clioose a
husband In a conventional way. Three
uicn bare proposed to me for your
baud?Edwanl Ilewltt, Arthur Lyons
and Oilbert Lawrence. All are able to
support you; all ure mentally and
physically admirable men except Lawrence,
who la cursed with a club foot.
I believe you know them."
"Sir. Ilewltt I have met; Mr. Lyons
I know pretty well; Mr. Lawrence I
do not know at all."
"Then I suppose the choice falls between
Ilewltt and Lyons?"
I was silent. My expression must
hare been lugubrious, for father said,
"Foor little girl." Then I turned to
him and said;
"Send them nil to me to make their
propositions direct and I will decide
between tlicm."
"On different days?"
"No; let them all come tomorrow
weiiuit,. rui mem iu uiuereui rooms,
nnd lot them out like bears lu a menagerie,
one after another."
Father smlle<l grimly nnd went
away.
The next evening 1 took position in
the small drawing room. Presently
the door opened, and Mr. Hewitt walked
in. He was perfectly self possessed,
advanced to within a short distance of
me and stood deferentially, ne was
o fine looking man, though not handsome.
He began to speak in a formal
tone.
"Your father has given me the inestimable
privilege of laying my heart
at your feet. I have known you long
enough to feel assured of thp loveliness
of your disposition, the rectitude of
yoitr conduct, and it is plain to n'l that
you arc beautiful. I mention these
traits, since from l>oyhood I have been
resolved that the woman I marry mast
possess them. As to worldly goods, 1
have sufficient myself. I can take care
of you ill the same fashion as you have
been brought up. You have only to
speak one word to make me happy."
"I duly appreciate," I replied, "the
honor you have done me and am pleased
to know your requirements in the
woman you shall marry. I will hold
your proposal under advisement, nnd
you will be duly Informed."
His confident manner underwent a
sudden ehange, and he retired in some
confusion.Ten
minutes later Mr. Lyons came
In. lie cast a frightened glance at me,
then bent bis eyes to tbe floor. He did
not come as near me as bis predecessor
and Instead of standing erect bent
low.
"I feci," he said In a hesitating voice,
'that It Is a presumption for me to
offer my unworthy hand to one so
greatly my superior, one who Is known
to the world for her many admirable
traits, as well as for her beauty. When
I asked your father to be permitted to
pay my addresses to you, I had no
hope that the little I linvo to offer in
those endowments prized by woman
would be acceptable to one possessing
every endowment acceptable to men.
If yon can find It In your heart to favor
my suit you will Inspire me with 'a
confidence and happiness never felt
before."
lie stood waiting with head bowed
and eyes still bent to the floor.
"I assure you, Mr. Lyons," I said,
"that, far from feeling too good for
you, I do not feel good enough for
you. i uiank you for your high opinion
of my endowment* nud for your most
complimentary otter. I must ask you
for n brief period in which to consider."
"1 am delighted," be said, "that you
will stoop even to consider a proposal
of one so unworthy of you."
I sighed 08 he went owoj. Two of
it a Man
5 Town
business; a man
ething about cir)crs
or magazines;
get boys to sell
vening Post every
after them, push
rain the boys to
omers. There's a
iness for some one
*ite at once.
LISHING COMPANY
LPHIA, PA.
? '
the tlirco bad made tbelr proposals, on
telling me what he required lu a wife
: the other what 1 deserved la a bus
band. The third remained to state hi.;
case, and he had a clubfoot. What a
position for a girl to he placed lu!
When the door opetled and Lawrence
entered he limped along briektj, his
eyee fixed on me, his countenance lit
with admiration mingle.1 with intense
anxiety. It seemed as if he was bent
on the one supreme quest of his life,
lie came up close to me and sat on
the edge of a chair directly opposite
me.
"May I tell you a stor V" he asked.
"You may."
"One day a year ago I wss In the
art gallery, when a girl came in and
began looking at the pictures. I do not
know if her face was beautiful. I only
know that the soul looking through it
caught mine and whirled It away. Brery
day since then I ha re gone to the
gallery hoping to meet Iter, and thrice
that I have done so hove amply repaid
me. For a year I hare worshiped
her in silence. Then when I could endure
it no longer I resolved to know
my fate. You are that girl. Tell me
If my life Is to be withered or If the
gates of heaven are to be opened te
mo In your love."
As he spoke the last * 'ords bo reached
for my hand.
"I have been through a dreadful er- 1
deal," I said, not wlthd *awing It, "but
you have lightened the burden. You |
may come and ?ee me whenever yon
like, and If you contl lue to love me
In a closer proximity and 1 grow to
love yon I will be year wife." I
This I told him. When 1 informed
my father I aald, "Gilbert Lawrence Is
my choice." CORA ASHWORTH.
Just Like Him,
"He Is the most contrary man you
ever saw."
"Really?"
"Yes. Why, he wouldn't attend his
own funeral If he thought his friends
desired him to be present."
In the Long Ago.
"Why arc you so positive about guar
anteelng these eggs?"
"I nm; personally acquainted with
the lieu that laid them."
"Did you go to school with her?"
Grew Suddenly.
She soomed so little for her age,
Rut when she called his bluff
And mado him look like thirty cents
Then she seemed lance enough.
Why He Hated Them.
"I understand ho claims to be a woman
hater."
"Yes, he discovered some time ago
that that was the wny to make the
girls run after hlra."
True to Color.
"What are these white lie# we bear
so much about?"
"Must bo the stories the oldest Inhabitant
tells abont the biggest snew
Btorra."
A Different Miss*
"Misfortune has pursued him for a
long time."
"Yes, but he Is not pursuing Miss
Fortune and hopes to turn the tables."
THE " BOSS " COTTON PRESS I
SIMPLEST. BTW0N8EST. BEST
The Murray Cinnino System
Glna, Faaders, Condanaara, Eta.
OIBBES MACHINERY CO.
Colamblki S. C*
\
Union & Glenn Springs
Railroad Co. V
\ -*p- Time
Table Effective Aug. 1,1005. >
Leave Union 7. a. ra. 1.00, 4.00 and
18.10 p. m.
Arrive Buffalo 7.15 a. m. 1.16, 4.16
and f s.25 p. m.
Leave Buffalo 8.16 a. m. 1.46, 6.00 and
18.80 p. m.
Arrive Union 8.80 a. m. 2.00, 6.16 and
1 8.45 n. m.
Leave Union 9.00 a. m. and 6.26 r. m.
Pans Neai Shoals 9.60 a m. and
0.10 p.m. Arrive Pride 10.16 a. m.
and 6.35 p. m.
Leave Pride 10.35 a. m. and 0.60 p. m.
Pnss Neai Shoals 11.00 a. m. and
7.10 p.m. Arrive Union 11.60 a.
m. and 8.00 p. in.
All trains daily unless otherwise
noted. Week days onlv.
t Saturdays and Sundays only.
Connection made at Pride with Sea1
,,W1 m.,\ A I mm 1 : *1. 1. a 1 C-..AL
ovniu mi lil'io bliroilK11 tlHIIin DUUlll
hound in the morning and North bound
in the evening.
Interchangeable mileage sold by the
Seaboard Air Line will be honored by
the U. & G. S. R. R.
M. B. SUMMER,
Gen. Pans. Agent.
B ?i
a Low Rates Again to
TEXAS
Arkansas and the South-west.
Less than one-way fare for the
round trip by Memphis and
the Cotton Belt Route. DalM
are Octolier 17, November 7
and 21, Deccmlier 5 and 19.
Pick your date and say when and
> where you want to go and we will
give you full information by re
turn mail.
COTTON BELT ROUTB. I
J 01 Equitable Bldg., R
WALLACE & BARRON
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
1. CLOUGIl WALLACE. P. I). BARRON.
Office?Rooms 12 and 13, up stairs, opposite
Hotel Union. Practice in the
-itate and United States Courts.- 24-ly
SCAIFE & HAMBLIN,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
POSTER BUILDING, UNION, S. C.
D. H. MONTGOMERY, M. D.
PRACTICING PHYSICIAN.
Office in Opera Houbo Building.
Day calls left at Duke Drug Co.
Residence Phone 147.
ll-12tp ,
F. C. DUKE,
iepresentlng the Best and Most
liberal Life, Health and Accident
.nsurance Companies in the world,
OFFICE: Room 4, Nicholson
Building'.
J A. BROW
DEALER IN
3EAL ESTATE, STOCKS AND
BONDS.
IOUSE RENTING AND COLLECTING
A SPECIALTY.
OFFICE ON BACHELOR STREET^
BOILERS AND ENGINES,
Tanks, Stacks, Stand Pipes,
and Sheet Iron Work; Shafting,
Pulleys, Gearing, Boxes,
Mangers, etc. Mill Castings.
Cast every day; work 200
hands.
Lombard Foundry Machine and
Boiler Work and Supply Store.
Augusta, Georgia.
GOOD THINGS FOR
ru a nik cr. i i/iwci
i iinniiiJVI l V 111VII
V turkey roasted brown as a berry,
risp, juicy and tender, delicious
ranberry sauce, good pumpkin
>ie, and many other good things
hat go to make up the Thankpgivng
feast can only be a success if all
it the festive b?>ard are properly
lothed. The turkey should be
properly dressed and so should the
nan. This is a round-about way
f saying that you should appear
n proper raiment on Thanksgiving
'ay, the gn at home feast day of the
/ ar. We have the Thanksgiving
.ind?the kind to be thankful to
Kjssess.
I remain yours for business,
ICO. W. GOING. .
'KM Rcmre? -1
HAIR BAL8AM
,9UK9w-' "" Hi I'romoOta luxuriant growth.
aHHlv wJbB Hover to Hontorn Orwy
I SBjpl. JW Ji .lr to in Yonthful Color.
I \W.Tli ,?KQB Curt* oon'p d It I.r.ir Ixlllug.
'V y.^V BaEsV^t'i