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tXCiiS Alt' ^Rupert mms . ^ WmWS) FROM THE r>< COMEDY Of THE SAME ^ m\?. T T_ mmi] iixvisTieAT?^> from, IBf PnOTCXiRAJPM? of USL# THE f>CAY AS P?Or>UCEI> ^_ ^AE/NTCV W. SAVAGE-. BP^X * I COPYRIGHT t#U M.K.ftV OCb "But, Harry, you wouldn't desert me now?abandon ma to my fate?" "Well, It Isn't exactly like abandon? ment, eeelng that you could go homo to your father and mother In a taxJ eab.M She ? tared at him la horror. "Bo you don't want ma for your wife! You're changed your mlndJ You're tired of me a.ready 1 Only an' hour together, and you're lie* of your, bargain! You're anxious to get rid of me! You?" "Oh. honey, I want yon more than' anything else on earth, but I m a eoldier, dearie, a mere lieutenant In the regular army, and I'm the slave of the government. I've gone tore ugh Went Point, and they won't let mo re? sign respectably and If I did, we'd etarve. They wouldn't accept my resignation, but they'd bo willing to eourUnartlal me and dismiss me from the ocrrlce In disgrace. Then you wouldn't want to marry me?ond 1 shouldn't have any way of supporting you if you did I only know ona trade, and that'e soldiering/' "Don't call It a trade, beloved, it's the noblest profeeeion in all tha world, and you're tha noblest soldier that aver was, and In a year or two you'll bo the biggest general In tha army." | Ha could not afford to shatter such a devout Illusion or quench the light of i'alth hi those beloved and loving ayea He tacitly admitted his ability to bo promoted commauder-ln chief in a year or two. He allowed that gilt* taring possibility to remain, ueed It aa a baale for argument. "Then, dearest, you must help ma to do my duty." She clssped bis upper arm ae If It were an altar and she an Iphigenie about to be sacrificed to save the army. And ehe murmured with utter heroism: "I will! Do what you like with met" Ha equeeaed her hand between his bleeps and hie ribs and accepted the offering la a look drenched with grat? itude. Then he esld, matter-of-factly: "Well eee bow much time we have when we get to? whatever the name of thet street le." Tha car jolted and walled on Its way like an old drifting rocking chair. The motormar waa In no Lur? ry. The passengers seemed to have no occasion for haste Somebody got on or got off at almost every corner, and paused for conversation while **ht car waited patiently. But eventu? ally the conductor put hie head In and drawled: ^r^V J^i* ^ "Hey! Here's where you get off gL'? 1 - j They hastened to debark and found themselves In a narrow,_ gaudily light- ' ad region where they saw tT lordly1 Jrgnsfer-dUtrlbutor, a profound schol? ar in phicaaS ?treeta^ Ht jnformed 'thorn' that the minister's Vreef Jay tar back siong tha path they bad fa the opposite direction, transferred at some remote center, deecended at \ime unheard of street, walked three blocks one w?y and (our another, and there they would have been. Mallory looked at his watnh, and , Marjories hopes drop'ptd like a wrecked seroplane, jor he grimly aaked bow lot.n' It would tske them to reach the railroad station, i "Well, you'd ought to mske It In forty minutes." the transfer agent sale" -and added, cynically, "If the car m%\cs iciedule^ jar.." ?C& .. - | w "Oood Lord, the train starts In twe"nV mtiitesJL" "Well. I tell you?take this here' ffeln* car to wex'ford avenoo?there's usually a taxlcab or two standln1 j there.'^ a* * '~ "Tbftnk you. Hop on. Marjorie." * Mar Jo tie bopped on. and they sat down, Mallory with eyes and thoughts on nothing but the watch he kept in his hsnd During this tense Journey the girl p. h?.r so>ii with graceful mart) rdotn. I 11 go to the train with yoL, Hur? ry, and then you can send mc home In a taxlcab " Her gsjthgf Hi trembled aid her ?yet were Aimed, out tbey were bravo, end her voice was ko tender that It wooed his mind from hid wutcn. He gaied at her. end touml her so dour, to devoted and bo pitifully exqutHlte, that be was almost overcome by an ImpuUe to gather hCfl Into bis um? there and then, Indifferent to the Im? mediate passengers or to his far-cfT military superiors. An hour ago tho* were young lovers in all the lilt and thrill of elopement. She bad CltUTg to him In the gloaming of their taxlcub, ss It sped like a genlo at their whim to the place where the minister would unite their bands and raise his own in blessing Thence the new husband would have carried tho new wife away, his very own, ggejl ana body, duty and beauty Then, ah, then In their minds the future was an unwantng honeymoon, the Journey across the continent, a stroll along a lovers lane, tne racinc oceau a gar? den lake, and the Philippines a chain of Fortunate Isles decreed especially for their Eden. And then the taxi cab encountered a lamppost. They thought they bad menely wrecked a motor car?and lo, they had wrecked a Paradise The rallsead ceased to .be a lover* sane and became a lingering torment; the ocean was a weltering Sahara, and the Philippines a Dry Tortugaa of exile. MaUory realised for the flrstt time what heavy burdens he bad taken on with his shoulder straps; what a dis? mal Ute pi restrictions and hardships an officer's life la hound to be. It was hard to obey the soulless machinery of discipline, to be a Vress-buttoned ?lave. He felt all the hoi, quick re? sentment thai turns a faithful soldier into a deserter. But It takes time to ?volve a deserter, and MaUory had only twenty minutes. The handcuffs and legirons of discipline hobbled him. Ho wag only a little cog la a great clock, and the other wheels were Impinging on him nod revolv? ing in spite of blmseir In the closo-packed seats where" ? they were Jostled and stared at, the soldier could not even attempt to ex? plain to hli fascinated bride the war of motives in his breast. He could not voice the passionate rebellion her beauty had whipped up In his soul. Perhaps If Romeo and Juliet had been forced to say farewell on a Chicago street car instead of a Veronese bal? cony, their langnage would have lacked savor, too. Perhaps young Mr. Montague and young Miss Capulet, Instead of wall? ing, "No, that is not the lark whose notes do beat the vaulty heaven so high above out heads,' would have done no better than Mr Mallory and Miss Newton. In any case, the best these two could squeeze out was: "It's Just too bad. honey." "But I guess it can't be helped, dear." "It's a mean old world, Isn't it?" "Awful!'* And then they must pile out Into the street again so lost In woe that they did not know how they were trampled or elbowed. Marjorle's de? spair was so complete that it paralyzed Instinct. She forgot Snoozleums! A thoughtful passenger ran out and tossed the basket into Mallory's arms even as the car moved off. Fortune relented a moment and they found a taxlcab waiting where they had expected to find it. Once more they were cosy in the flying twilight^ but their grief was their ontybaggage. ?04 t Je^ ?laspof their ba?d? talked all the talk lof^wST; 1 Anxiety anxiety joTmented \hejin and they^ faaretTanobieTtffeckt 1 Sul jia they" jTwooped jio^ffi TTpoS the at (on. T kind-faced U>wer clock beamed the reassuranco that they had ftkree^tnlnufes* \6 spare^ The taxlcab drew rjfl and halted, but they did not get out They were kissing goodbyes, fervidly and nu? merously, while a grinning station porjer winked at the winking chaur feur. vff?li - Iviarjorle simply could not have done with farewells. TM go to the gate with you." she said. He told tho chauffeur to wait and take the young lady home. The lieu? tenant looked so honest and the girl bo sad that Ihe chauffeur simply touched his cap, though It was not his custom to allow strange fares to vanish Into crowded stations, leaving behind nothing more negotiable than Instructions to wait. CHAPTER IV. A Mouse and a Mountain. All the while the foiled elopers were eloping, the San Francisco sleeper was filling up. It had been the receptacle of assorted lots of hu? manity tumbling into It from all di? rections, with all sorts of eoule, bodies and destinations. The porter received each with that expert eye of his. His car was his laboratory. A railroad journey is a sort of test-tube of character; strange elements meet under strange condi? tions and make strange combinations. The porter could never foresee the Ingredients of any trip, nor their ac? tions and reactions. He had no sooner established Mr. Wedgewood of London and Mr. Ira Lathrop of Chicago, in comparative repose, than his car was invaded by a woman who flung herself into the first seat. She was flushed with run? ning, and breathing bard, but she managed one gasp of relief: "Thai k goodness, I made it in time/' The were sound of a woman's voice in tha afiftt back ol him was enough to disperse Ira Lathrop. With not so much as u glance backward to see what manner of woman It might be, he jammed hie contract into his pock? et, seized his newspapers and retreat? ed to the farthest end of the car, bouncing down into berth number one, like a sullen snapping turtle. Miss Anne Gatties modest and homely valise had been brought aboard by a leisurely station usher, who sot It down and waited with a speaking palm outstretched, f5he had her tickets in her hand, but trans? ferred them to her teeth while she searched for money in a handbag old DREW LATHROP'S HEAD AFTER HIS HAIR ACROSS THE SEAT. old valise, going tnrough certain white things blushingly, closing It again, shaking her skirts, and shaking her head in bewilderment. She was about to open the reticule again, when the porter exclaimed: "I see it! Don't look no mo'. I see it!" When she cast up her eyes in de? spair, her hatbrlm had been elevated enough to disclose the whereabouts of the tickets. With a murmured apology, he removed them from her teeth and held them under the light. After a time he said: "As neah as I can make out from the?the undigested po'tlon of this ticket, yo* numba is six." "That's it?six!" CALMLY TOBE IT QOWN THE MIDDLE, fashioned enough to be called a reti Toe usher closed his (1st on the pit* tance she dropped into it and depart? ed without comment. The porter ad? vanced on her with a demand for ?Tickets, please." . *i : **l She began loTimsack her reticule with flurried haste, taking out of it a fclnall purse, opening that, closing it, putting it back, taking it out, search? ing the reticiile through, turnlug out a handkerchief, a few hairpins, a few trunk keys, a bu'^^age check, a bot? tle of salts, a card or two and nu? merous other maidenly articles, re? storing them to place, looking in tho purse again, restoring that, closing the reticule, setting it down, shaking out. a book she carried, opening her THE PORTER "ELL ON ONE KNEE AND GOT TO WORK. Mrs. Jlmmltj Wellington. "That's right up tins way." "Let me sit here till 1 get my breath," she pleaded. "I ran so hard to catch the train." "Well, you caught it good and strong." "I'm so glad. How soon do we start 7" "In about half a houah." "Really? Well, better half an hour too soon than half n minute too late." She said it with such a copy-book primness that the porter set her down as a school-teacher. It was not a bad I guess. She was a missionary. With : a puplMlke shyness ne volunteered: "Yo' berth is ill ready whenever you wishes to go to bald." He caught her swift blush and amended it to? "to retiah." "Retire??before all the car'.'" said Mies Anne Gattle. with prim timidity. "No, thank you! I intend to Bit. up till everybody else has retired." The porter retired. Miss Gattle took out a bit of more or less useful fancy stitching and set to work like another Dorcas. Her needle had not dived in and emerged many times bo fore she was holding it up ss ? weap? on of defense against a sudden hu? man mountain that threatened to crush her. A vague round face, huge and rod as a rising moon, dawned before her eyes and from it came an uncertain voice: "Esscuzhe me, mad'm, no 'fensh in? tended." The words and the breath that car? ried them gave the startled spinuter an instant proof that her vis-a-vis did not share her prohibition principles or practices. She regarded the ele phant with mouse-like terror, and the? elephant regarded the mouse with elephantine fright, then he removed himself from her landscape as quick? ly as he could and lurched along the aisle, calling out n errily to the por* ter: j "Chauffeur! chauffeur; don't go so fasht 'round these corners." He collided with a small train-boy singing his nasal lay, but it was the behemoth and not the train-boy that collupsed into a seat, sprawling as helplessly as a mammoth oyster on a table-cloth. The porter rushed to his aid and hoisted him to his feet with an un? easy sense of impending trouble. He felt as if someone had left a mon? strous baby on his doorstop, but all he said was: 'Tickets, please." 1 There ensued a long search, fat, flabby hands flopping and fumbling from pocket to pocket. Onoe more the porter was the discoverer. "I see it. Don't look no mo'. Here It is?up in yo' hatband." He lifted it out and chuckled. "Had it light next his brains and couldn't remem ba!" He took up the appropriately huge luggage of the bibulous wan? derer and led him to the other end of the aisle. "Numba two is yours, sah. Right heah?all nice and cosy, and already made up." The big man looked through the curtains into the cabined confinement, and groaned: "That! Haven't you got a man's size berth?" "Sorry, sah. That's as big a bunk as they is on the train." "Have 1 got to be locked up In that pigeon-hole for?for how many daya is it to Reno?" "Reno?" The porter greeted that meaningful name with a smile. "We're loo in Reno the?the?mawnln' or *:he fo'th day, sah. Yassab." He put v.he baggage down and started away, but the fat man seized his hand, with great emotion: 1 "Don't leave mo all alone in there, 1 porter, for I'm a broken-hearted man." , "Is that so? Too had, sah." i "Were you ever a broken-hearted man, porter?" ! "Always, sah." I "Did you ever put your trust In a 1 false-hearted woman?" I "Often, sah." "Was she aver true to you, por? ter?" i "Never, sah." ! "Porter, we are partners In mis ! sls-ery." And he wrung the rough, black hand with a solemnity that embarrassed the porter almost as much as it would have embarrassed the passenger him? self if he could have understood what he was doing. The porter disengaged himself with a patient but hasty: "I'm afraid you'll have to 'scuse me. I got to he'p the other passengers on bode." "Don't let me keep you from your duty. Duty is the?the?" Hut he could not remember what duty was, and he would have dropped off to sleep, it he had not boon startled by a familiar voice which the porter had luckily escaped. "Pawtah! Paw tab! Can't you raise this light?or rather can't you lowor It? Pawtah! This light is so in? fernally dim I can't read.' To the Englishman's Intense amaze? ment his call brought to him not Iho porter, but a rising moon with the profound query: "Whnss a Iii thing like dim light, when the light of your lifo has gone out?" "I beg your pardon?" Without turther invitation, the mammoth descended on the English man i ten Itory "I'm a broken hearted man, Mr.? Mr.?I didn't get your name." "Er?ah?I dure say." 'Thanks, I will sit down " He liftr ed a great carry-all and airily tossed it into the aisle set the Gladstone on the lap of the infuriated English? man, and squeezed into the seat op? posite, making a sad mix-up of knees. "My name's Wellington. Ever hear of Hi Jimmie Wellington? That's me." "Any relation to the Duke?" "N;gh!" He no longer interested Mr. W edge wood. But Mr. Wellington was not aware that he was being snubbed. He went right on getting acquainted: "Are you married, Mr.?Mr.?V "No!" "My heartfelt congrashlations. Hang on to your luck, my boy. Don't let any female take It away from you." He slapped the Englishman on the elbow amiably, and his prisoner was too stifled with wrath to emit more than one feeble "Pawtah!" Mr. Wellington mused on aloud: "Oh, if I had only remained single. But she was so beautiful and she swore to love, honor and obey. Mrs. Wellington is a queen among women, mind you, and I have nothing to say against her except that she has the temper of a tarantula." He italicized the word with a light fillip of his left hand along the back of the seat. He did not notice that he filliped the angry head of Mr. Ira Lathrop in the next seat. He went on with his por? trait of his wife. "She has the 'stravaganza of a sultana"?another fillip for Mr. Lathrop?"the zhealousy of a cobra, the flirtatloueness of a humming bird." Mr. Lathrop was glar? ing round like a man-eating tiger, but Wellington talked on. "She drinks, swears and smokes cigars, otherwise she's fine?a queen among women." Neither this amazing vision of wom? ankind, nor this beautiful example of longing for confession and sympathy awakened a response in the English? man's frozen bosom. His only action was another violent effort to disengage his cramped knees from the knees of his tormentor; his only comment a vain and weakening, cry for help, "Pawtah! Pawtah!" Wellington's bleary, teary eyes were lighted with triumph. "Finally I saw I couldn't stand it any longer so ' I bought a tic-hic-et to Reno. I 'stab lish a residensh in six monftbs?get a divorce?no shcandal. Even m'own wife won't knew anything about it." The Englishman was almost attract? ed by this astounding picture of the divorce laws in America. It sounded sa barbarically quaint that he leaned forward to hear more, but Mr. Welling? ton's hand, like a mischievous run? away, had wandered back into the thaggy locks atop of Mr. Lathrop. His right hand did not let his left, know what it was doing, but proceeded quite independently to grip as much of Lathrop's hair as it would hold. Then as Mr. Wellington shook with joy at the prospect of "Dear old Reno!" he began unconsciously to draw Ira Lathrop's bead after his hair across the seat. The pain of it shot the tears into Lathrop's eyes, and as he writhed and twisted he was tDO lull or profanity to gel any one word out. When he managed to wrench t Is skull free, he was ready to murder his tormentor. But as soon as he con? fronted the doddering and bllnki.ig toper, he was helpless. Drunken men have always been treated with great tenderness in America, and when Wel? lington, seeing Lathroy's white hair, exclaimed with rapture: "Why, hello. Pop! here's Pop!" the most that Lath? rop could do was to tear loose those fat, groping hands, slap them like a school teacher, and push the man away. But that one shove upset Mr. Wel? lington and sent him toppling down upon the pit of the Englishman's stom? ach. For Wedgewood, it was suddenly as If all the air had been removed from the world. He gulped like a flab drowning for lack of water. He was. a long while getting breath enough for words, but his first words were wild demands that Mr. Wellington remove) himself forthwith. Wellington accepted the banishment with the sorrowful eyes of a dying deer, and tottered away wagging Us fat head and wailing: "I'm a broken-hearted man, and no? body gives a-V* At this point he ca? romed over into Ira Lathrop's berth and was welcomed with a savage roar: "What the devil's the matter with you?" "I'm a broken-hearted man, that's all." "Oh, Is that all," Lathrop snapped, vanishing behind his newspaper. The desperately melancholy seeker for a word of human kindness bleared at the blurred newspaper wall a while, then waded into a new attempt at ac? quaintance. Laying his band on Lath rop's knee, he stammered: "Ess cuzhe mo, Mr.?Mr?" From behind the newspaper came a stingy answer: "Lathrop's my name ?If you want to know." "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Lothrop." "Lathrop!" "Lathrop! My name's Wellington. Lil Jimmle Wellington. Ever hear of me?" He waited with the genial smile of a famous man; the smile froze at Lathrop's curt. "Don't think so." He tried again: "Ever hear of i well-known Chicago belle, Mrs. Jim mie Wellington?" , "Yes. I've heard of her!" There was an ominous grin in the lone. Wellington waved his hand with modest pride. "Well, I'm Jimmie." "Serves you right." This jolt was so discourteous that Wellington decided to protest: "Mis. Ur Latham!"