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Lunch Room Repartee. The )nuii;' .mal with the Iron cheek ?liter m! the quick lunch rooig and seat ed htaNtt at the third table. tlnda." he called familiarly, "you took fresh (his uiorulug." "Not half as frenh as some others." retorted the prett\ waitress., with an ?lev at Ion ?<r a ell. well: Hun e yon calf hralns?" "If I did you wouldn't order theui. for you have an oversupply low." "My. but you are getting good f*>r the Matinee: With the high price of meats eggs come la hsudy these days, don't tneyr "No; they come In crates." -Wow: l?id .\<m ever hear the story of the Incubator chick? It's uot out yet "That will do. sonny. Did you ever hoar the story of the cold porridge? WelL It's on you: There wss an unexpected tilting of a dish, and the young msu with the Iron cheek was showered with oat- j ami.-Boston root. Consolation. A little girl of thirteen or so found herself one day possessed% of a new emotion?? desire to be pretty. She Struggled with It. but anally went to the long mirror In the hall and for the first time In her life looked at herself critically from head to foot. She saw what most girls see st thirteen?a lanky creature, mostly legs and arms, hands and feet It hurt her. and she went out of doors to think It over. Thought resulted In tears, and In tears she wss found half an hour later by her particular chum, a boy near ber own age. Anxious Inquiry as to why she was crying Induced her to speak. "Oh. Ilarold," she walled. "I've Just looked at myself In the glass, and I'm so homely!*' The boy wss puzzled, but sympa? thetic, and made an effort at consola? tion. Fie looked at her a minute, then awkwardly patted her. saying sooth- j ingly: "Not homely. Alice; Just funny look- i tog."?New York Times. Doesn't Know Her Ago. There Is s glaring phase of unfair? ness In the position of the two sexes, despite all our struggles for the suf? frage ? woman still dreads to tell ; her age. no matter how youthful she may look, while as long as a man looks youthful he Is generally willing to admit and even to boast of how I many milestones he has passed. There hi at least one father who understood this problem in time and who gave his daughter a fair chance In life by never letting her know how old she wan, He realised at her birth that a time would come when she would not ; want to tell her age, and he spared her the bn^dllatlon of having to prevari? cate, so she wss never told either ber ago or the place where she was born. , and there were no birth records pre ?erred 'o the fsmlly.-New York World. _ j Tearing a Proverb to Tatters. One of ?>ur correspondents, to whom so far as we can remember we uevcr did any iujury. sends ns the following: Carlyle said that genius Is an in- , finite crpat Ity for taking pains. We venture to think this definition appro? priate to a derk. But hi a doctor | tuns Is nn Infl nlto capacity for sinking pains, s In s commercial traveler. for taking trains in a literary man. for raking brains. In a sanitary nr. for making drnln?. Abs! In I Don Juan, forsnklug J.i le-s Oscar W! aendatlon of the pr?c , rb was nt once btlefr ni more Obvious "?Senilis." be said. "Is an In fit ipacity for taking pains.**? i Lon |i n News. Shopping Troubles. ?norrow Is my wife's blrt'iday. and I want to buy a present that will tickle her " "We haro a u\<-v liue of feather boa- l I mean something tlat Would umke a hit with her." "Anyfhit g In hammers?" "1 i alerstand. I want some? thing strlkl: g that" **Ah. you wl?h a cl.sk." "That's all.*1 CtSWOlsad Tlnln Deal Permanent. "Mr Smith." spoke up the young lawyer. "1 | MM bofl as a n jreseuta-' tire of your neighbor. TOSJ Jones, with don to collect a debt dus him " *'I consrratillste you.'' answered Mr. Smith. lining so permanent u job at su? b an early stage in your car. - \' re*** Magazine. Hardly. A Sunday s? hool teacher, after read? ing the Mory of Ananias and Sap phlra to the J ivenih* class, asked. "Now. ralHh'SB, why doe-n't the Lord Sfr e e, : , dwsd who tells U lie';" ?*(( IBSWllad a bright little felh ?. ' i fl WOaTath*1 bs anybody left hardly." Chicago News. Must Be Rich. "Ho most have money." "What makes y>\i think so?" "Ho u< ver ?..'o >i the thirty days' grace allow "d on his life lusuruuct* premium- 1 I ???? " ' nv Pies*. A Fair Infsronc?. Joe I' r rs I used U get up at U. breakfast ..f s. dinner I I. tea at ? and lei ? I? ? I m\ or felt better |n my lif ? P J< a ? htfl w - re fWH la for'.- Lswdoa i ?' graph The Miami.t of MM pospfg |s ns great I r? -'.mmetidation as the pffsjso of ntht ' -In g. Iti g.ooril. prldo la at the bottom of all ?reit mistakes. ?B'iskln. An Indian's Joke. Indians extract ?u Ihn?- quiet en toy? men t from what win to them to be oddities Id the speech, mannen and customs of white people Au Arapa hoe stepped luto the stole of I trader one duy to purchase some tobacco. The trader's sou was in chargo Of the place. Now. thin son was at that em? barrassing stille of growth when the voice Is changing, so tbut he never could tell whether tenOf tonen would lasue frotu his lips or bu by like fal? setto or de profundls bSSS. Ou this occtiston when tbe Indian asked for tohucco the y o a t h s bass uotes held the right of way, though they were speed? ily followed by ascending tones up to a squeuky falsetto. lie asked the Indian. "Will you have floe cut tobacco or a plug?" beginning In a growl and ending In birdlike so? prano. TheArapaboe listened gravely to this vocal variety and then without a smile reversed the process uud. beginning with the youth's highest note and end? ing with his lowest, scaled, "1 think I'll take sotue plug."?Southern Work? man "Exercise and Reet." What is the relullou between exer? cise and rest'.' Work is that at which we must continue, whether iuterestiug or not. whet bar we are tired or uot. It used to be thought that the prime requisite of rest was the use of facul? ties other than those Involved In the labor of the day. But there Is each a thing as futigue which goes deeper thau daily work. We cun work so hard as to become exhausted?too ex? hausted for any kind of work. Per? haps this is will fatigue. It Is coming to be regarded as fundamentally true that rest froui such futigue demands continuity; that, for example, four pe? riods of fifteen minutes each of rest la not the equivalent of one nour's rent; that n man who goes on a vacation and takes half an hour of his business work every day la doing the same thing as the man who had a horse wtth a sore back. He kept the saddle on only a few minutes each day. but the sore did not have a chance to heal. Rest periods must be aufllcleutly con? secutive to overcome consecutive fa? tigue.-Luther H. Gulkk In North American Review. Cheerfulness snd Cholera. A cheerful disposition is beld by some doctors to be the best protection against cholera. When this disease first visited I*arls In 1832 a notice was issued advising the Inhabitants "to avoid as far as possible all occasions of melancholy and all painful emo? tions and to seek plenty of distractions and amusements. Those with a bright and happy temperament are not likely to be stricken down." This advice was largely followed, and even when chol? era was claiming over a thousand weekly victims the theaters and cafes were thronged. The epidemic was In some quarters treated as a huge Joke, and plays and songs were written around lt. Rochefort wrote a play. "I.e Cholera Morbus." which proved n big success, und another production on the same lines. "Paris-malade." also bad a long run.?Ixmdon Chronicle. Ether Topers. Kthcr Is consumed by gallons to get drunk on In a small part of Scotland The origin of this peculiar and limited abuse is strange, in 1848 a bad epi? demic of cholera broke out In Glasgow. Among those flying from It were some who came back to bruperstowu, their native place. With them they brought s cholera mixture which they found "exceeding comforting." A rascally doctor, knowing that the comfort pro? ceeded from ether, laid in a whole cask He made his fortune and sturt ed the habit that lasts till yet. Ether la sold over counters In Scotland, the penny a drink. An old ether toper cau drink two or three ounces a day. but one-half QU nee Is one big dram in wa? ter. Tbe drinker gets hilarious in a mluute. It Is far wilder and more dangerous than alcohol. How Tertoise Shell le Worked. The soldering of two pieces of tor? toise shell together Is effected by means of hot pinchers, which, while they ( onipress, soften tbe opposed edge of each place and amalgamate them into one Bfft the raspings and pow tier prod need bp tbe file, mixed with small fragments, are put Into molda and subjected to the action of boiling water ami thus made Into plates of the Aastred thickness or Into various aril cles w hi? 'i appeal to have been cut out of a solid block. Inconsistent. A man who took his infant daughter to be baptised told the clergyman to call bar Venns. "I'.ut 1 refu e to call her Venus said the clergyman Indignantly. "Ve? nns is the name of ? pagan goddess,*1 "Well, bow about your own girl. DianaY" said lbs man. Hair Raising. Bueband i fast la ins mood for reading something sensational end ?tart Una something that will fairly gsSkl my hair stund OS cud Wlfs Well, here is my la-d dfSSSUaksr'S bib Her Career. "Well, has your college daughter <Je rJded npon be? < artery "Yes; be bas blue eyes, brown hair and workl In n hardware store Louisville I 'ourier Journal. Carries On. Wogga So yoiioi Ms fines d and bta father are parrying on lbs business.' Boj ga Y< The old man does the business, white young Raphend does the earrylus eg Puck We talk little If we do not talk about ourselves.?IIa/1 itt. The Ancient Use of a Kiss. A Roman woman in the ancient time was not allowed to drink wine except It were simple raisin wine, ami how? ever she might relish strong drinks ahe could not indulge even by stealth ?first, because she was never intrust ed With the key of the wine cellar and. second, because she was obliged daily to greet with a kiss all bor own n.> well as ber bus baud's male repre? sentatives, down even tu SOCOnd cous ius, und as she knew not when or where she might meid them sin? was forced to be wary and abstain alto? gether, for had she tasted but a drop the smell would have betrayed ber. 80 strict wars the old Kornaus in this respect that a certain Ignatius Mer CUrlns la said to have slain his wife because lie caught her at the wine cask?a punishment which was not deemed excessive by Romulus, who ab? solved the husband of the crime of murder, Another Roman lady who un? der the protouse of taking a little wine for her stomach's sake and frequent infirmities indulged some what too free? ly was mulcted ?o the full amount of her dowry. Among the Honors. One of the last times that Bishop Burgess of Long Island dined out was St the Praia club, where the waiters are all negroes. The head waiter bowed Bishop Burgess and his host profusely to their places. "This way, adtn'ral," said he. "Tefc this table. You get a bet tab view of tho harbor heah, nd ni'ral." "I am not an admiral." said Bishop Burgess, smiling. "My nilstek. suh," said the bend waiter. "Ah mout er known all the time 1 was er talkin' to a military man. You like dis table, colonel?" "I am not a colonel." said Bishop Burgess, smiling more broadly. "1 am a bishop." "To be sbuah. suh." said the head waiter. "To o be shuab! Ye'y sorry for mah mlstek, suh. 1 got dem titles of adm'ral and colonel wrong, suh, but Ah was all right ou de inain issue. Ah knowed'soon as Ah saw you dat you was oue of de face cards of your pro? fession, sub."-Cincinnati Times-Star. Purely Hypothetical. ?Tncle Henry, I waut to ask your advice." "Well?" "But you mustn't mention it to a liv? ing soul. Suppose you were n young girl of my age and three men bad pro? posed to you. one of them a young preacher, tine looking and well edu? cated, the second one a handsome young man In business, swell dresser and thinking the world of you, and the third a rich foreigner with n distin? guished air al>out him and well spoken of by everybody! Which of the three do you think would make the best hus? band?" "Why, Annabel, child, consult your own heart Which of the three do you love blest?" "Mercy, Uncle Henry! Nobody's pro? posed to me yet. I'm only trying to get pointers, so 1*11 know the right man when be comes along."?Chicago Tribune. The Preparation of Parchment. Parchment is the skin of aheap or other animals prepared in sheets to render thorn lit for being written upon. The heavier parchment, Uaed for drum- ; heads, is made from the skins of ass? es, older calves, wolves and goals. All these are similarly prepared. The skin, being freed from the hair, is placed in a lime pit to cleanse it from fat. The pelt is then Btrotchod Upon 1 a frame. < ire being taken that the BUr? ' fa< o is free from wrinkles. The flesh is pared off with a rtrcular knife, after Which it is moistened, and whiting spread orer it. Then the workman, with a large pumice stone, rubs the skin. Be next goes over it with an iron Instrument and rubs it carefully with pumice stone without chalk. Fi? nally the skin is gradually dried, tight? ening being occasionally required. A Fast Express. | The slow train la still the target for the shafts of the humorist. Recently an English wag sent the following let? ter to the editor of bla local paper: "Sir. la tbere no way to put a Btop to begging al >ng the line of the railway! For in-;.in e. yesterday an aged men? dicant with a wooden leg kept pace with the afternoon express all the way from Blnnkton to Bpaceley and an- ! uoyed the paaaongera exceedingly, go- 1 lug from one open window to another with bia Importuneftte solid ations." 1 Prince Honry, the Navigator. The kingdom <>f Portugal counted In j Its royal bouse one of the men who bold Brat rank in scientific attain men! and practical application. lie ' was the son of John I. of Portugal ami Queen Philippa (who was an Buit? llsh princess); be spent his life in ?ending OUt ships on voyages of dis? covery, and it was through this Prince .Henry, .ailed "the Navigator," that Columbus got bis idea of seeking for a ne*a land across the sea. Otir Friendships, Our friendships hurry to short and poor conclusions been use we bare made theill a texture of wine and dreams Instead of the lough fiber of the human heart. The laws of friend ship are ;.i at, austere and eternal of one web with the laws of morals and of nature. 1 loetbe, Nhere's Ways. Nature lurns ?vi r n n< w leaf In the spring, but in the fall she always paints Ihlngs red l*bllndt'pbla Ree? old Plllgen? e. above all, is the mother nft I ?.'d luck Smiles. Nothing la more disgraceful than Insincerity.?Ch-ero. POSTAL DEFICIT REDUCED. POSTMASTER GENERAL SUMMITS REPORT TO CONGRESS. Saving of Eleven and u Half Mil? lions Made over Previous Year'* Figures, Notwllhb > andlng Consider? able Extension of Service, Says Mr. ! Utchcock, Washlngton( Dec 13.?in the space of t\v? ivc months a reduction has ; been math In the deficit of the post- 1 office department of .$11,500,000, ac- \ cotding to the annual report of Post? master General Frank li. Hitchcock.; While a year ago the fiscal records <>f the postal service disclosed a de? lict of $ 17,500,000, the largest In the history of the country, the excess of expenditures over receipts for the year ended June 30 last amounted to only $6,848,566. In commenting up? on this reduction Postmaster Gen r ai Hitchcock says in his report: '?Jt is most gratifying to report that this unprecedented reduction has been made without any curtailment I of postal facilities, on the contrary, ; the service has been largely ext ?nd j ed. j "The policy of the present ivd ! ministration has been to wipe out ; losses by Increasing the postal bu*l- j I neas ahmg profitable lines, and while J thus enlarging the department's in? come to reduee as tar as possible the rate of expenditure by cutting out wasteful processes, by simplifying and rendering more effective the methods of handling postal business, and by j raising to the highest possible stand? ard the efficiency of officers and em? ployees. "The more quickly mail matter can be handled the less expensive is the process. The department, according? ly, has devoted itself with great earn? estness to the 'work of increasing the efficiency of the mall service, con? sidering this the surest method of making the postal establishment self supprtrting." Bath Robes Any man would appreciate a bath robe. There's a world of comfort in them. He generally says, however, "Oh well, I'll wait. Some one ?will give me one for Christmas." BLANKET ROBES, THAT CAN BE USED FOK DRESSING GOWNS OR ANY SOKT OF LOAF. $6, $7, to $8.50 With Slipper* to Match. To complete the Comfort of tme Home, see that He has a Bath Robe. ll??. J.Clothing CO. PHONE lfi? Sl'MTVR, S. C. Better it is to be p| tied.?Herodotvs. envied tnar. sfetffcV m fj m ? Of m w ? fti 8 m a m rj 1 ? m fj is m rtj m m m a rj fu 2 iday Goods! Toilet Sets to - - Candy, in fancy boxes & baskets to Hand Bags to' - Perfumes, in cut glass bottles, to Hudnut's Toilet Water, in Fancy Boxes, - - - 75c & 1.40 (| Many other things to select from. $40.00 15.00 10.00 5.00 Sibert's Drug Store, w. W. SlDEl^T Phone 283. 8 S. Mwxin St. n> m m cu ru si 3 tm w Our line is larger and better ? this year than ever before ft? Ri (li fli ftt ftf fU m m i s 5 m ftf ftf ? Q 9 The clean skin and the goodness We must laugh before we ace hap-J Hul>crt Latham the avl to says within are tfie best precautions to hy, or rise wo. may die before we ?verlthat he Is going to hont big K?me take t" Insure good health and happy I laugh at all La Bruyere. from an aeroplane. Will nothing living dlseaae and the devil desert -- make the Colonel talk??Washtnctoa you. ? . The parcels post, If established, will j p raid. -.... ?>- - 1 ?? tho handmaiden 01 mail order . nd 1 - Becretury Rallenger was completely department stores.- -Racine i\vi . >| pi 1 \ t'nr.> Is nothing more cor* exonerated in the report by the com- Journal, tain t\\&n that the young man who mitten appointed to investigate the lells it that he has "accepted a p>> r?alUnaer-Pinchot controveray, said The Republican 11 >usc will have j sitlon" Is In a fair way to lose his report being adopted hy tho Republl-J eight weeks In which to d.> business Dallas (Texas) Kowa, can majority of the committee over it ought to gi t something started Inl - the prot. st of the Democrats and one! eight weeks, whether it Is finished or! Without tact you can learn aotsv Insurgent Republican, not. ? UochesU r l lerald. lng.?Disraeli.