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The Warmest Yet. Capt Kirkland Returns and Writes a Card. Slate, Nov. 7. Capt W. N Kirkland returned to the city last evening. Soon after his arrival he requested the publication of the following : To the Public OwiBg to my absence from the city, I did not see a copy of The State of the 2d inst, containing a statement from J D. Haselden in regard to me. I have just returned to the city, and have this day "for the first time" seen the article above referred to In my opinion the newspaper columns are not the proper place to settle personal difficulties, but I deem it but justice to myself and friends to ask space to reply to only a few of his statements Haselden says I called him into my place of business and told him a cock and boll story about the retail price of Dispenser Bookman's liquors being less than *Le invoice price of the same brands to me. He or any other mao that says that I told him a cock and bull story lies. Haselden came into my place of business voluntarily '.without any invitation or request OD my part/' and in conversation with Haselden I did tell him that Dispenser Bookman was selling "Dewey Club'-' whiskey at 75c, per J quart, while the same brand of liquor was billed to me at SOc This state | - ment is true aud the books at the j State dispensary and mine and Book- ! man's invoices will prove this state ment. In order that this statement will not reflect on- Messrs Doutbit and Bookman I will explain that after I received my shipment of "Dewey Club1' it was discovered that this brand of whiskey was in Jjad order, and I suppose that Mr. Douthit did as any sensible business man would do -reduce the price in order to dispose of it As to his reference to my visit to bis private room, I am satisfied that the public generally know me well enough to know that I did not force myself on him To the contrary, I inconvenienced myself greatly in complying with bi3 request to "ia\\ at his room that evening r He say6 that be was worn out and in bed. If I were to get in the condition that be was in that night any one could truthfully say that I was in bed and drunk. He says that I told him I stood in with the county board of control, and that I would beip him to get in any man that he wanted. This is as a lie as even he ever told. Haselden has on several occasions even begged me to take his friend Westfield for my clerk, but I did not see fit to do so The only reference that I ever made "in his presence7'" to the county board was after being assured by bim that if I stuck to him that be wcuid ^ake care of me and see that I did not lose my job. I told him that I was friendly with all the members of the county board, j and that I thought that I could take care of myself. Io this article I have called Haeel den a liar twice. If be is not man enough to resent this in person be is too far beneath the notice of a gen? tleman for me to ever again reply ' through the papers to anything that he may have to say in tbe future ! about me I take this opportunity j of giving Haselden notice that I , will hold him personally responsible \ for any statement made by him that [ is detrimental to my character. ' It is not necessary to secure a search warrant to enable Haselden lo e find me. I am io town and will j k remain here indefinitelv j ? Walter N Kirkland - i mn ? ? i - j fi Eat plenty, Ko?oi Dyspepsia Cur? will . digest what you eat. It rure^ all forms of j c dyspepsia aod stomach trouble:? E. ll Gara- j ( b!e, Vernon Tex , eay3 "It relieved me from '. 5 tbe start and cured me it is now my e'er- j lasting frieDd"- riughson-Ligon Co. t ELECTION NEWS. Kentucky is Lost on Account of the Democratic Bolters. Returns from the elections come in very slow. It is certain that the Fusion ticket has carried Nebraska, where Bryan's prestige was at stake. The republicans claim Ohio, by fifty thousand to Golden Rule Jones. At an early hour this morning, there was BO definite news from McKin? ley's State, but Nash's election is reasonably sure. Maryland goes Democratic once more, while dissensions in Kentucky may cause that commonwealth to be again lost to Democracy. The Republican victories in Mas? sachusetts, Pennsylvania and New Jersey are without significance. Tammany wins out in New York and achieves a great victory in the de? feat of Mazet-Slate, Nov. 8 -- Proceedings of County Board of Commissioners Tbe County Board of Commissioners met yesterday in regular mootbiv session with Supervisor Dorn aod Commissioners McNeill, White, McLeod aod Jenkins present. The Oicute9 of tbe meeting of Oct. 9tb were read and confirmed. Commissioner Jenkins of tbe coacmittee on road from Mellett's to Jordan Church report? ed that be bad examined said road and found bridges in bad order. Another span would be needed and an abutment built up to it. The road could not be received until said bridge is completed. The report was received as information, and on motion o? Commis? sioner McNeill Commissioner Jenkins was directed to Inform the proper parties that road would net be received until bridge is completed. The board theo considered the case of dam? ages to horse of Mr. Miller of Spring Kill. Mr. Miller stated that bis horse coi crippled oe August 24th, 1899, by falling through bridge near Spring Hil! while hauling cotton for Mr. Smith. The horse's shoulder blade was cracked, and he could not be ridden at ali, and be bad not been aole to use horse since. The matter was referred to County Attorney Purdy. H. F. Wilson, Master, made application for permission to retain the office now used by him instead of the office in the Court House. Permission was granted, and he was directed to rent tba office in tbe Court House formerly used by tbe Master and apply tue rent to renting effice now used by bim. Mr. L. E^White, overseer of chain gang, presented a petition asking that his salary bs increased from $40 to $50 per month. The petition was received ?8 information and the present ealary, continued. R. D. Lee, Esq , representing Mr. Rodgers, objected to opening a new road through his land in the Bishopville towoship. The claim of W J. Dowell, of Colombia, for capturing one Ben Williams, an escaped chain gang coovict, amounting to $10 re? ward and $1-80 for feeding said convict. On motion it was decided to pay amount of reward, $10. !ess expense of brir.ging convict from Columbia. County Treasurer Scarborough under date of Nov. 1st reported that $761.63 bad been collected from co6ts, fines and dispensary since his last report. After discussion the board decided that the read from Hudson's bridge by J. T. McNeill's to the Bay road at A. J. Goodman's, was regularly received as a public highway on Joly, 1803, and ha3 since been recognized as such. A number of accounts were approved and ordered paid. "When our boys were almost dead from whooping cough, our doctor gave One Min ut '"'-ugh Cure They recovered rapidly," w ..P. B. Belles. Argyle, Pa. It cure3 coughs, colds, grippe and al! throat and lung troubles.-Hugbson-Ligon Co. Miiiions of doilars, is the va ue placed by Mrs. Mary Bird, Harrisburg, Pa., on the life of her child, which she saved from croup by tbe use of One Minute Cough Cure. It cures a!! coughs, colds and throat and lung trou? bies-Hnghsoo-Ligon Co. A Daily Newspaper at Gaffney. On account cf the State Baptist Convention which meets at tbe eotrrprising city of Gaff ney oa the 29th inst. Manager Ed. H DeCamp bas determined to issue a daily edition of The Ledger during the convention These daily editions will contain a complete Btenograpbical resume of the preceding days doings in toe convention, sketches of prcmi aent workers in the Baptist Church of Sooth Carolina, pen drawings and pen pictures of Baptist cbnrco buildings and Baptist institu? tions, as weil as a complete resume of mis? sionary aad educational werk being done by the Baptists of this State, to say nothing of the local and State and national news that will be published. Manager DeCamp has had considerable experience io tbe daily newspaper field and is as well qualified to get out a daily as be is i weekly, and those who will take the daily edition of The Ledger for thia one week may rest assured that they will get full vaiue for :heir money. The price for the week will se only 15c, aBd every Baptist in the State should have his or ber name enrolled for the week's output. Send silver or two cent ?tamps so The Ledger, Gaffoey, S. C. Joseph Stockford, Hodgdon, Mo , healed i sore running for seventeen years and cured lis piles of long standing by using DeWitt's Snitch Hazal Salve. It eurea all ekin dis isses. Hughson-Ligon Co. C. A Snow k Co., Patent Lawyer?, oppo ite lbs L"ni?ed States Parent Of?ice, Wa^binu on, I). C., wbo have acuml clients in everv ity mid town of tbe United States ar d /aoada, report that never before i? their 25 eurs practice h*B the work of tbe ('frire been 1 o weli up to date. Tb**y claim that pnten?s? j g an new bc procured in less than haifthel ime formerly squired. Nov 1- ?m i t SUMTER'S INDUSTKIAL PRO? GRESS. The Furniture Factory to ba Enlarged-Signs of Growth and Progress. Witherspoon Bru & Co , bare purchased eieht acres of land next to their coffin and furniture factory aod adjacent to the tracks j of the Atlantic Coast Line and will begin im? mediately to erect buildings to accommodate j their increasing business. The output of the j factory will be increased at least 50 p?r cent by the additions to the plant Jn addition to the enlargement of tbe coffin and furniture factory a saw mill, planing mill and dry ! kilo will be erected, and all lumber to be j used in the manufacture of coffins and furoi- i tore will ba cut and fioished from the rough in the firm's own mill. The enlargement of the factory and the erection of the additional mills will necessitate the employment of a large number of additional bands and the pay roll will be largely increased. Mr. B L. Witherspoon has gone North to purchase the machinery for the new factory and it will be sbippea as soon as possible so that it may be here when the buildiogs are ready to receive it. The Atlantic Coast Line is putting in a switch today to the site of the new factory acd the work of constructing the buildings will be rushed. It is planned to have the addition to the facfory completed within thirty days and then tbe new machinery will be installed and put into active operation with the least delay possible. The enlargement of the coffin factory is tba direct result of the demands of a phenome? nally successful and growing business that bas been built up from the smallest and most unpretentious beginnings witbio a few years by Sumter men, who had but little capital when they started in business. They had' however, energy and business capacity that is, after all,the best capital, and their business baa grown rapidly, month by month, until today they are shipping coffins and furniture all over tbe sooth and southwest, nod even as far north as Brooklyn they are selling coffins. For months they have been unable to keep up with their orders and they have a trade that will take all that can be turned out when the enlarged plant is io operation. They make the best cheap coffins and beds made in the United States, and even with the high freight rates against them tbey are under sellicg the large and long established coffin and furniture factories on the same grade of goods. Every manufacturing enterprise in Scm'er is not only prosperous but is growing in size and reputation so rapidly that it ?9 but a question of time before Sumter will be a manufacturing center of the first magnitude. Nothing succeeds like success and men who cave money to invest in manufacturing en? terprises always invest it where others have succeeded and where the conditions tend to make success probable. Sumter is moving forward and upward and the most gratifying aod satisfactory thing is that home capital and Sumter men have accomplished alljc? the success and brooebt about tbe development of manufacturing industries to which we point with pride and hope. A Healthy Boom. The Southern Railway bas of late beeo ex? hibiting commendable enterprise in opening up new fields to foster manufacturing and new industries tn the Southern States Their recent move iu building a new road in Sum? ter County, South Carolina, making connec? tions from Columbia, and thus enabling lt to obtaio a firm foothold io the thriving little town >n-^ter has given this great South? ern ?. . considerable prestige, and impetus to 3 business of the merchants, farmers, ana cotton growers in this and the surround? ing territory in furnishing tbem with increas? ed facilities of transportation to the markets and a direct roadway to tbe principle cotton mills. In addition to the staple cotton in? dustry, and the rec *>: development of tobacco and tea culture, there is everywhere abund? ant evidences that this extensive agricul? tural countrv offers a rich field for profitable j investment of capitol. This town of Sum;er. which was named after Gen. Sumter of Revolutionary fame, although containg not more than 6,000 in? habitants, nevertheless furnishes a practical illustration of the New South Possessing good water works, and a splendid quality of inexhaustible clear water containing medici? nal qualities, three ice factories are now do? ing a thriving business Sumter also now boasts of a strong telephone manufacturing company, a cotton compress company, a cot? ton factory, a large electric plant, a lumber company, and brick yards turning out the best kind of material It also bas a fine opera boose. Its two financial institutions the Bank of Sumter and the First National Bank-are solid concerns, having alone from deposits nearly a million of dollars. The climate of Sumter is specially adapted to health seeders Three infirmaries on Wash? ington Street give testimonv to its equipment for treating ailments and diseases. Dr. J. A. . Mood's skill as a surgeon is attested by numerous successful operations and the relit ble sterilization process and hygienic care of patients at his infirmary. Truly the march of progress in industries and science in the New South gives ample evidence that its mea are full of energy and new thoughts a'jd plans in which the old I regime never shared or dreamt of. And, therefore, the scope of legitimate life and fire insurance ever finds broadening fields of activity.-Max Cohen, in Washington, D. C., Views. A HORSE THIEF. Bit Off More Than He Could Chew Mr. Strickland, wbo lives neer Wieacky, was somewhat disturbed Thursday morning to find that some one had broken open bi? stable tbe nigbt before and stolen his fine black stallion. He immediately started out , to ind the horse, and after several hours ( search found the animal in tbe woods ?orne miies from borne. It is supposed that the ( tbiof was unable to manage the horse, so he , turned him loose. , "If you scour the world you will never "ind a remedy equal to One Minute Cough , 3ure," says Editor Fackler, of the Micanopy, i "fla., "Hustler." It cured bis family of La 1 grippe, and eaves thousands from pneumo iia. bronchitis, croup and all throat and ung troubles.-Hugbson-Ligoo Co. Pound Big Box of Gold. Jackson Miss , Nov 6 -Hunter Johnson, a white Citizen of Jacksoo, while hunting in Pearl river sw-imp, ^ast of the city several days ago, dis? covered a box containing nearly ?50,- j )00 The money wa* encased >u an J ron case, and is in gold piece*, near- j y all of thorn ?20 denomination It j s thought the money is a war trea- j ( ?ure. Ail of the coins bear dale i o 1850. Suntee Baptist Association In company with a delegate we left borne last Thursday to attend the meeting of the Santee Association. The day waa warm aod the dust not scarce Notwithstanding these little inconveniences we made good progress until we streck the "sand ridge" above Cam? den, which divides the high landa from the low lands of the State, and roos through several states. For miles the sind i? like the worst places you see around Sumter Whew ! what a streak of sand it is. The crows fl? rapidly over thia 1 desert," and the owls and bats have no place to stay in. In fact, we have no recollection of seeing any iiv iag thing in our passage through it, but the little scrub oaks and dwarOsh pines. After the "ridge" we strike the hills and rocks. Flint Hill Church, 12 miles from Camden, where the association was he'd, is situated on a flinty bill, and our understandings bear witness to tbe painful and sore fact that these rocks can hurt when you come io collision with them. How tbo;e pretty ladies in that section can get along over them without being burt is a mastery we have not solved, odeas they walk so lightly that no impression 19 made. The church is a neat one, and a child of State Missions. The scenery around is noe. From some of tbe hills you can see for mile3, end in three or four counties. J^Tbe association was organized by the election of Col. Walsh for moderator and Rev. C. C. Brown for clerk. To the regret of all Col Walsh left for home on Saturday morcing, owing to a painful attack of bis old enemy, the rb'timatism, Rev. J. W. Kenney served as Moderator during the re? mainder of the session. Mr. Brown has served as clerk ever since the Association was organized twenty-three years ago, and be makes a good one. It WHS qaite amusing to eee bim drive a wagon full of ladies and preachers to and from tbe church. He seemed to be aa much at home there as bs is in his pulpit. Revs. J. I. Ayres and J. D. Huggins, were io attendance and made a good Impression on all. Mr. Ayres is a brother of Rev. E. E. Ayres, who lived here several years ago, and is so pleajantly and loviogly remembered. Several visiting ministers were present, in? cluding Dr. Bailey of tbe State Mission work Prof. Bailey, of the S C. C. 1. was presect in the interest of bis school. We found him a most pleasant geotleman. The speeches were on e high plane and 6'nowed much in? terest in the work of the body. The collec? tions for the varions benevolent objects were very good indeed. Oa Sunday Dr. Browo preached from Romans 1: 16. Afine sermon; and after the choir sang "God bs with ?you'tilt we meet again," the body adjourned to meet next year with the Mizpab Church, near Smithville in this county. Several churcbe* made applicition for the next meeting The meeting of Uie Association was one cf the nest P7er held. A spirit of brotherly love wa3 felt during the entire session, and a conspicuous absence in debite of anythiog of an unpleasant nature Flint Hiil Cburcb and community took care of the Association in fine style. Tbe hospitality of the people, was hearty and unbounded and wiil ever be remembered by the delegate3. Long may these people live to treat others aa they have U3. To the Watts', Creeds' and Roves', your correspondent is under many obligations We are strongly tempted to say something ?bout tbe ladies, bot we wouid not know whare to end, so we will not commence. We must 83 j though we found them full of beau? ty of heart, person and bead, and know eo well how to make you fiel at home. Pisgah, Oct. 31, 1899. S. C. COLLEGE NOTES. Items of Some Interest Gathered by Our College Correspondent. Columbia, Nov. 5.-Toe fifth annual meet? ing of the Colleges and Preparatory Schools ot tb? Southern States was held nere Nov. 2-4. Quite a numoer of viauord were pres? ent, auu tee boys were as attentive to mern as it they were relatives. Oa Thursday evening, utter the pub.ic ex? erc?es, toe ?aculty gave a reception to ihe association, visiting teachers aaa to me mem? bers ot senior cia3d. Mr. Robert Ellison Denni3, Jr., was called nome Wednesday on account ot ms mother's inness. We nope tba: abe win soon recover, aud ibat he W?1 re.uta lo college at an earlj date. Your correspondent had tbe good fortune to oe ure:eat at the opening of tbe long dis? tance telephone Hoes of ihe Southern Ben Telephone and Telegraph Company in con? nection waa the American Teiepbone and Telegraph Company on Friday evening. It was a deiighttul euteriaiument consisting ot sougs, baud selections, etc., heard from Al? lan la, Onariesion, Nasbviheand other cities. During tue efening a number ot persons taikea wuh triends cr relatives in distant lowu?. li waa af eu3y to spea? to Pittsburg as Lt 13 10 kajesvihe. AO?Ul lU o'clocK cream, cake aa-t lemonade were served and biguiv enjoyed uv ali present. Mr. J. L. McIntosh, a member or last year's ?opu. ciass, ia lu ibe etty, prepared to "taKe lu ' ibe ralf. Manager Suiivau of ihe Clemson College foot fan team Was in ine city Saturday iuaa> iu? arrangements tor tue quarieriag ul bis mea. lae game between Caionna and Clem? son comes od next T Oi.Tdday ana otas it.ir to be even uioie exciting than lu previous years. Tue wnuie Uiemsoii corps conoioiiug ol over 4JU men is scbeduieu io arrive VvcUueaday morning. Mr. Waehington Allaton Thomas, of the junior class, passed away Friday morning, de had only been SICK abuut two weeas. Out ot respect ic his memory, the Euphra dian Society, o? wnich he was a metucer, adjourned immediately alter roll cali. Tue funeral look place yesterday and ms body was borne io us lasi resting place by bia sor? rowing classmates. Fair Week begins tomorrow and will prob? ably oe me most successful ever held. Most ut ice attractions wnich were at the Fair in Allant* last wee?; will ne here. Already tbe :rowd 13 beginaiug to arrive and the bcieis ire being rapidly lilied. There wiil oe no :ucus tnisyear, bul there are numerous side mows and omer attractions which will be :ree. The First U. S. Artillery Band from L?barieeton will give concerts every night dur ng the Fair and there will also be several )*noon ascensions. Tbe weatner promises to DB lair and we hope that all who can poddtbly lo so, win come over. Jack Ererly. ---iW- li - COTTON MAJRK??T. Number of bales received yesterday 404. Number of bales received to date 18,105. Market firm. 1 he quotations were : Middling, 7? Stric: Middling, 7* Good Middling, Ti Strict Good Middling 7? mm - ? ? . ti? - ysfiS CU BAW RELIEF mirvs Colic, ?ftt?^ X,'llr;l!'J'a aml Toothache i,! ^-fp'live minims. Sour Stomach-and 9 Summer Complaints. Price, 25c. Sold by HughSDo-Ligon Co. DO?THIT REINSTATED Judge Aldrich Piles an Opin? ion Against the Board. Special to the Daily Item. Columbia, S. C , Nov. 8.-Judge Aldrich has filed his opinion by which he reinstates Douthit as Com? missioner of the State Dispensary. The opinion is long. The Board has to review the case. Kohn. How to Raise the Price of Cotton. Alamance is one of the tidiest and thriftiest counties in North Carolina. Her people are progressive and indus? trious, aod ber farmets ara inspired by a commendable emulation as is evinced by the fact that she has long had one of the best county fairs io the State, one in which the products of the farm, cereals, fruits, etc , and cattle, horses, sheep, dogfi, poultry, etc., would do credit to any county. The fair has been ia progress this week. Hon. Geo. T. Wiostoo, President of the State Agricultural and Mechanical Coliege, was to have deiivered an ad? dress but being prevented from attend? ing sent ths following tribute to Ala maooe. "Alamance is in many respects the banner county of North Carolina. Although fifty third io size, it rarks ninth in the value of its real property and tenth in the value of personal property. In property listed by white citizens, it stands sixth ; in the number of horse;: eighth, in money on band or on deposit ninth, insolvent credits tenth, tn mechanics' tools twelfth, io household and kitchen furniture eigh? teenth, io f^rm utensils nineteenth, io value of land per acre exclusive of towu Jots fourth, in average value cf town lots S;Xth. Although Alamance is not a cotton county it makes more money from cot? ton than asy other county in the State, excepting probably Mecklenburg and Gaston. The cotton profits of Aia mance county are greater than they would be, if every mao woman and ehiid in the county were engaged in raising cot:on. Aiamaoce County points the way to prosperity for North Carolioa ; local markets for farm products, manufac? tured goods for foreign markets, im? ported raw material for manufacturing purposes. Alamance is daily growing in wealth, population, improved lands, improved stock and variety of agrioul tural products. In the value of ber lands she is led only by Durham and Gaston, her great manufacturing rivals, and closely followed by Mecklenburg and Buncombe. Alamance County bas solved the problem cf raisiog the price of cotton. She raises to 18 cents a pound the value of every bale that comes within her bordere. Alamance County now lives at home. She lives co the profits of cotton grown elsewhere and thus gives a lesson to North Carolina. She allows others to compete in the growing of cotton s? 5 cents per pound. Her com? petition is to raise tbe price of manufactured cotton to the highest point per pound that skill and machinery can raise it. Her com? petition is at the top instead of at the bottom. In another genera tioo the number of her factory operatives will be trebled, ber markets for farm products will be trebled, and the value of her lands will be at least doubled ; farming will begiu to be profitable, with local markets and good roads ; fruits, berries, vegetables poul? try, eggs, butter, milk, cheese, beef, mutton and pork, sold for daily con? sumption in growing towns and cities, wiii daiiy put money into the farmers' pockets ; manufactured goods, shipped daiiy to ali the world, will bring dail? returns to be spent by the operatives, mainly in the purchase of supplies Soon other factories wiil spring up for the manufacture of clothing, furniture, vehicles, etc. Tho lesson of Alamanacc must be learned by North Carolioa : home mar? kets for farm produce, manufactured gocds for all the world, raw material imported only for manufacturing pur? poses.- Wilmington Star. At an auction sale of the effects of the late Herrmann, the magician, two pairs of silk stockings, said to have be? longed once to the Empress Carlotta of Mexico, were sold for An expert who was present at the sale said the stockings probably cost $30 a pair. In 1SC1 the population of England and Wales was about 20,000,000. In that year 2f>S divorce suits were en? tered.* Ten years later there were 410 suits among 23,000.000 population. In ISSI there were CIS out of 26,000,000, and last year there were S22 out of 31,000,000. The storage of bicycles in Taris dur ng the winter months is expensive. So a great many Parisians pawn their Machines in the Mont-de-Piete, or state pawnshop. The interest paid on the advance of money is very small and is i a great sn vine on what would be paid for storage. Kev. S. L. Sloggett of Honiton. Me., has a copy of tho Loudon Times issued ; in 1700. As compared with the news- i papers ol' today ii is a very peculiar looking sliror. It contains an able edi? torial <>u the work of General George Washington and gives his address of resignation. An Observing Puppy. A rector writes from Honiton, Eng land, to The Spectator to record an in? stance of a very high order of intelli? gence in an animal, of a power of rea? soning as distinct from any acquired instinct: "I have a bullpup, aged 10 months, and a bulldog 4 years old, both of which live in the house and are great pets. A short time ago my wife was ill, and, though the older dog, owing to his quiet and sedate way, was allowed to enter her room, the puppy was nev? er admitted. The nurse could always tell which dog was at the door, because the older dog gave one single and gen? tle scratch mid then remained quiet, while the puppy scratched violently and frequently and whined. The puppy apparently could not understand why she was not admitted, and felt her ex? clusion surely. "One day she scratched furiously a$ usual. No notice was taken. Present? ly she was heard going iiop-flop down stairs. lu a few minutes the single gentle scratch of tue old dog was heard, tko door was opened, and there were both dogs, and, strange to say, from that time the puppy so imitated the scratch of the other dog that it was impossible to tell which was at the door. Undoubtedly the puppy went and asked the old dog to show her how he gained admission, now else can one explain the fact?" . Lighting a Cigar. According to an observant Philadel phian whose business is to sell cigars, the careless smoker is largely respon? sible for the big dividends match man? ufacturers enjoy. "Just watch it any time," he remark? ed a few days ago, "and see if I am not correct. The average smoker of a cigar will talk or think regardless of his weed until it goes out. Then he will suddenly discover the absence of the lire which makes a cigar enjoyable. Out from his pocket comes a match, and in an instant it has been struck and the lighted lucifer placed against the cigar end. "in his eagerness io got another light, however, the smoker has, in nine cases out ot" ten, forgotten to knock the ashes off his weed. As a result the Ai] me from the match fails to pene? trate tiie ash heap, and the match name doesn't cut any figure. . I've seen it so many times that 1 don't laugh at it any more, but it must be funny to casual onlookers. After this when your cigars go out before they are consumed be sure and knock the ashes off before . trying to relight them. Then you will stand a fair chance of securing another light and at the same time put a kink in the profits of the matchmakers." Philadelphia Inquirer. A Chinese Dooley. Two Irishmen stood at Gates avenue and Bedford street discussing a Chi' nose laundry sign. "Kin ye say it, Pat?" "Where?" "There. Don't ye say it?" "Oh, Oi do now." "Well, they say a Chinaman's furst name is his last name. Do ye blave it, Pat?" "Yis." "Then rade it backward." "But rade it furrud furst, an it spells Lee Dew." "But rade it backward, man." "D-e-w. Do; L-c-e. Le-Dooley." "Boight ye are. Pat. an Dooley is a foine old Irish name, but it's the furst toime in me lolfe Oi iver heerd of a Chi? nese with an Oirish name. Ile ought to hang, the spalpeen."-New York Press. His Style. "I have been considering your appli? cation for an editorial position," said the managing editor, "and I sent for you today that I might get some idea of your style." "Just so," replied the bright young man. "Well, you will observe, I am wearing a blue suit, plain, but well cut, and a brown soft hat: quite the proper thing for this time of the year. Will I do?" In Cuba, In Cuba the kitchens are always on the roof or in the courtyards back of the house. Only twice a day does the Cuban housewife or servant prepare meals-at 10 o'clock, when she enters the kitchen to make ready ll o'clock breakfast, and at 6 o'clock to cook the dinner, which is served at S. Those Loving Girls. Tody-Jennie tells me young Woodby proposed to her last night. Viola-I don't think 1 know him. Is he well off? Tody-He certainly is. She refused him.-Chicago News. Th<ey Don't Know ITerve?. Those who know the Chinese best have been particularly struck with their absence of nerves. The foreigner fidgets, the native sits still; balmy sleep, especially in hot weather, will resist the foreigner's sweetest wooing, while to the native lying on a heap of stones or across the bars of a wheel? barrow she comes as a matter of course; we need constant change and variety, they would find contentment and rest on the treadmill. "lt would Ix) easy," says Mr. Smith, "to raise in China an army of 1.000.000 men-nay, 10,000,000- tested by com? petitive examination as to their capaci? ty to go to sleep across three wheel? barrows, with heads downward, like a spider, their mouths wide open and a fly inside!" From which it is evident, says The North China Herald, that in a crusade against noise we can hope for no as? sistance from our native fellow towns? men, but instead a great amount of vis inorttae, if not positive opposition. When yen unload your pocketbook in a geed ?aase, you also remove a load from your conscience. You ft-el bel? ter, and se does every one concerned. Denver News. Inquiring Boy-Ma. what did the moths eat before Adam and Eve wore clothes?