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CROPS OF PORTO RICO Planting and Harvesting Occur Every Month of the Year. TEE HEED OF AMERICAN EKEBGY. Che Table Laad Formation of the Island Hakes It Possible to Baise Nearly Every Sort of Vegetable In Addition to the Tropical Fruits-Banana Growing. IL Porto Rico, except for the prolonga? tion of its northeastern end, would be almost a parallelogram in outline. As it is, it- resembles very much a fat "porker'* with its legs chopped off. East, west, north, south, its coast lines run almost as regularly as though pro? jected by compass. Owing to the gentle dips of its thousand hills and the vast depths of soil in its fertile valleys every portion of this delectable island is cul? tivable from coast to mountain crests. While Porto Rico has been of great value to Spain it is likely to be more important to the United States, if for no ocher reason because of its nearness. Such perishable products which rarely reach us now, as green cocoanuts, etc., tile raising of which is profitable, can be brought to our markets on swift steamers and will find a ready sale. It is easy enough to generalize and say this and that may be raised here and that generous nature brings forth Iber fruits spontaneously while indolent I man reclines in a hammock and only j opens his mouth to let them drop into it In the main this may be true. Still, j since all men are not vegetarians and cannot subsist on fruits alone, it will probably be found necessary to "hustle" for a living, here as elsewhere-that is, ; if one desires to live well. And yet perhaps there is no country i where man can live with less effort j than in this island. Owing to its j mountainous character, rising as it does j to a height of 3,000 or 4,000 feet, there is every variety of climate here as well as of vegetation. In order to change from a climate with a mean of 70 de? grees to one of 60 or less one merely climbs a mountain. One can change the i ?namer climate of Florida to that of j Boston or New York by ascending a few hundred feet above the coast So it is with the vegetation. Along the coast you find all that is rank and tropical, such as the mangroves, with their very feet in the salt water, over shaded by cocoa palms that will some- j times grow in barren sands. The jungles are dense, the rivers run through bow? ers of tropical pla??a, with wild plan? tains, bamboos and gigantic canes over? hanging them. Not all the trees and productive plants are native here. For instance, there is the cocoa palm, which THE GABDEXS OF CAS though a native of tho East Indies has [ become as good as indigenous here, i Fortunate, too, is this fer the Porto ! Ricans, for there is scarcely a tree that I grows with so many uses as this for.-i man. The cid resident of the islands j sends out his servant for a green cocoa ant as scou as be is a vate ii: the morn lng, and after au opening has been made ! as large as an old fashioned cent he ' pours into the cool water within a \ modicum cf gin or native rum and j drinks this concoction as an "eye open- i er." This water is even better without ! the addition of liquor. A small black boy is usually the cap ' bearer, and the ability he displays in ?binning up the cocoanut tree is only surpassed by his dexterity in clipping the husk to a point and leaving the wa? ter exposed without losing a drop. After that is imbibed he divides the ?hell, with a single blow of his rusty machete, aud chipping a spoon from the husk hands both to his master, who proceeds to scoop out and devour the translucent jelly within. So much for the nut when it is fresh. As a dried product it is shipped abroad, chiefly to the United States, to the ex? tent of some 8,000,000 annually. This is no criterion of its abundance, for millions of nuts go to waste and mil? lions more are used in the island in a green state. The cocoa palm is readily grown, and, though rather slow in coming to maturity, can be made a profitable adjunct to a plantation, lt will grow in any soil, no matter how poor; but reaches perfection only at or near the coast, being a true lover of salt water. The tropical people have a j saying that the cocoa palm will live a hundred years, will bear a hundred j nuts annually and has a hundred uses j for ns owner. It would be impossible j to enumerate its manifold uses to the poor people here, for they make culinary vessels from its nuts, beds and thatch from its husks and leaves, sieves from its inner bark, huts from rude boards into which its trunk is sawed, a peculiar tipple from its flower?, and finally, when the tree gets old, they cut it down and eat its terminai bud, as we wcul? cauliflower. And the cocoa is but one species of the palm ?ribo growing here aImost spon? taneously, for there are many others, some of them Dative to the island. There is the "gm gru, " the seeds of which are good for fattening pigs, the exotic sago and areca palms, from the first of which sago and tapioca are made, while from the second is obtained the betel nut. The most beautiful of the lowland palms is that; species so often seen in Cuba, called the royal, but it does not attain such a height as another of the family, the "oreodoxa," which frequently reaches 150 feet. This species also is noted fer the flavor of its "cabbage," and notwithstanding its size and beauty is often cut down merely to obtain that bud to boil for a dinner. This "cabbage" is really the tip of the tree, which if left to develop would successively unwrap its folds to become leaves. It is tender and sweet, tasting something like boiled chestnut, and is a very welcome addition to a bill of fare. This is one of the natural prod? ucts which every tramp in Porto Rico is entitled to if not too lazy to cut down the tree; but there is still another deli? cacy which surpasses this in flavor aud is likewise free to all. This is a grub, or larva of the palm beetle, which bur? rows in the heart of the tree. As it gets to be two inches in length and is corre? spondingly fat, it is a most luscious morsel fried in palm butter, and is eagerly hunted by the epicurean native. Next to the palms in abundance rank the bananas. If the latest statistics are reliable, only 200,000,000 bananas are annually shipped abroad, but it might just as well be 1,000,000,000. There is Jamaica, a sister island to Porto Rico, a little larger, but with similar soil, surface and climate. A few years ago it was languishing in the last stages of surfeit from an overproduction of sugar, which it could not sell at a price suffi- ? c?ent to pay for raising it. An enter? prising Yankee from "Boston way" went down there, turned the matter over in bis mind and started the people tc- raising bananas. The result has really been the salvation of Jamaica. While the banana likes a rich soil and will grow cn the levels as well as anywhero it can be cultivated on hill? sides so steep that no plew can furrow them and where it would be impossi? ble to raise sugar cane aud other things with profit Its sister, the plantain, is equally prolific, and both will practi? cally renew themselves each year. Another friend of the poor man is the indigenous manioc, which was found in cultivation by the natives when Columbus first arrived here in 1493. This is a tuber, which is roasted and grated, the flour being excellent when made into cakes, something like the Mexican tortillas, while the juice, though' virulently poisonous in the A BLANCA. SAX JUAN. crude state, is made innocuous by heat? ing and forms the basis of the well 'known West Indian pepper pot called 'cassaresp. And pepper pot, by the way. consists of whatever kinds of meat may te thrown into an earthen vessel from time to time-chicken, pork and the odds and ends of repasts-all of which ?ere preserved and rendered delicious by the antiseptic cassareep. Another indigenous product is maize, cr Indian corn. It may be grown any? where, but the upland regions are its borne, as in Mexico and Central Ameri? ca. Wheat, oats, barley and other cere? als of northern climes do not flourish hero, all flour and meal being imported irom the United States. As au evidence of what may be found in the island in a half wild state and made quickly available for the inexperi? enced settler it may be mentioned that vegetables grown in our southern states, as yams, sweet potatoes and okra, flourish. Oranges, limes and lem? ons grow without care and have not been considered important enough to merit attention, but soil and climate combine to produce thc choicest varie? ties. Another fruit, held by some to be the most delicious in the world, is thc pineapple, which is native here, being still known by its aboriginal name of "anuna." Then there ure numerous fruits rarely seen in tho north, as the n?spero, or sapodilia, the guava, which runs wild wherever old fields are fe und, and from which delicious jelly is made; the aguacate, avocado, sweetsop, sugar ' apple, star apple, acajou, granadilla, j mango and various kinds of plums and ; grapes-in fact, every fruit found in subtropic regions. Potatoes will not i grow at lesser elevation than about I :2,000 feet, but abov^ that altitude they I do well. There also may bo found field strawberries, though most small fruits j and berries are not abundant. Owing to the absence of frosts and ; snows there is a perp?tuai succession of crops, and something may be planted as I well as fcarvasten every week in the j vear. FREDERICK A. OBER, J THE SULTAN OF SOULOO He Was a Philippine Pirate Gen? eration After Generation. SPATS" AND EEE BLOODY ETTLE. The Islands For Centuries Have Been Scenes of Almost Unparalleled Cruelty and Carnage-Of Three Sieges of Manila Two Were Successful. ILL The Philippine islands lie so faraway from any well established route of travel and their government, has been so t}rran nical and secretive that less is known about them than of any other territory owned by a civilized nation. To Spain is ascribed the credit of having discov? ered the Philippines, yet the very dis? covery is an immortal evidence of Span? ish perfidy and dishonor. To Chris? topher Columbus by royal decree had been given the sole right to discover the ONE OF THE SULTANS OF SOU LOU. unknown islands east of Asia and a" vested interest in the wealth they con? tained. Inflamed by wild rales of moun? tains of gold in this part of the world, Juan Rodriguez Fouseca, bishop of Burgos, had a special decree granted annulling the former one and thereafter had fitted out the expedition whose commander, Magellan, as Magballanes, discovered the Philippines in 1521. Years afterward the* Spanish govern? ment tried to make amends for the wrong by imposing a perpetual annuity on the islands payable to the heirs of Columbus. This is now paid to tho Duke of Veragua, who visited this countrv five years ago. and amounts to $23,000. Miguel Lopez de Legaspi was the first to conquer the islands and establish Spanish dominion. He began with the island of Zebu in 1565 and, having sub? jugated its natives, conquered the prov? ince and city cf Maynila, as it was called in 1570. Thc war was crnel and sanguinary. Over ?0.000 Zebuans were slain and 10,000 Manila men. From that year to the present one not a year has passed without some massa? cre large or small. To the Tagals, or the people of the north, and the Visayas of the south the very word "Castilian" came to be synonymous with suffering and death. It is used as a bugaboo to? day by Malay mothers to their little ones. Tho islanders are brave and have repeatedly tried to obtain independence, to right wrongs or to punish wrongdo? ers. Whenever they made the attempt, swift slaughter or pitiless persecution was the result. The Actas, or Negritos, cf northern Luzon were conquered between 1571 and 1581 at a loss of 15,000 savages and 5,000 native allies. In 1576 there was a revolt in Mindoro and Gav i te, which was suppressed with great slaughter. The same year wit? nessed the establishment of a branch of the Spanish inquisition. In 15SO the bishop, intent on strength? ening the Augustinian order, of which he was the head, began deporting all other friars, and finished the task in three years. Many governors general of the Philip? pines have been tried and convicted of robbery, defalcation and corruption. In 1603 the Chinese in Manila asked permission to build a wall around their quarter to protect them from savages and pirates. The request aroused Span? ish suspicion that a rebellion was form? ing, and they therefore attacked the Mongolians, dispatching 23,000. In 1639 there was a similar suspicion and resultant attack, with a slaughter ol 85,000 Chinese and 15,000 half breeds. . In 1662, when Koxinga, the famous I Chinese pirate king, threatened to in? vade Manila, the Spaniards, to prevent his finding allies in the Chinese popu? lation, attacked and slew 40, COO of the latter. In 1709 the council of state deter? mined that the Chinese were turbulent, industrious, intelligent and grasping and ordered their deportation. Seven thousand were killed and 80.000 sent over the seas, of whom "it pleased the Lord to drown about one-fourth." In 1762-8 came the great Idocos rebel? lion. It cost the Spaniards 80 and the natives 11,000 lives. In 1744 was the Dagohoy rebellion, named after a fearless native. It lasted until 1779, :>5 years, during which time 700 Spaniards and 100, U00 natives were slain. In 177* the Austen and Dominican friars secured the enactment of a law expelling the Jesuits from tho Philip? pines. In 1823 an insurrection led by Cap? tain Andres Novales, a Luzon Spaniard, was suppressed at a cost of 400 lives. The Zebu insurrection of 1*27 cost j only 1.000 lives, while that in Negros in 1844 destroyed thrice as many. In j 1S72 a revolt occurred in tho province of ('avite. It was crushed by Colonel ! Sabas with great promptness and cruelty, more than 10.000 of the rebels being killed. In 1S96-8 was the Aguinaldo revo I lotion, which was thc largest in the history of the archipelago. It was the first which was not confined to one is? land, it was over?eme by arms, bribery and diplomacy, but not until over 500 Spaniards and 15,000 natives had per? ished. The last massacre was in May last on Panay, when the Spanish troops claim to have killed 700 rebels. From the time of Magellan to Captain Gen? eral Augustin Spanish dominion has cost over 1,000,000 lives in the Philippines. The trouble Spain has with the sul? tan of Soulou is cf long standing. It began about 1595. when the Chevalier Rodriguez endeavored to conquer the country, and kept on ever after. The sultans have been ambitious and have extended their sway over a large part of northern Borneo, nearly allot' Min? danao, tho island of Palanan, the Pan guitarang, Tawi-Tawi and Basilan groups of islands. In the Soulou ar? chipelago the sultan has 200,000 sub? jects, while in his vassal lands he has more than 1,000,000. They are Mos? lems and are called "Moros" (Moors) by the Spaniards. Up to the introduc ? tion of steam navigation in the far east (about 1830) the sultan was ahead of Spain. His pirate ships and fleets in? fested all the waters of tho archipelago I and threatened Manila as late as 1820. He levied tribute upon the Europeans i as well as the natives and was a terror to commerce even on the China coast. Steam warships put an end to Malay piracy. Great Britain led the van in this movement and was ably seconded by the other powers. Not until 1S60-1 did Spain join in putting an end to the grievous eviL She then sent out from home 20 steam gunboats, which, with those already at Cavit? and Zamboanga, the two naval headquarters, made a formidable fleet. They made a round up of all the pirate craft, and, what was equally important, they destroyed the pirate strongholds. Villages and towns were shelled and every pirate killed at sight. The losses in life and property were enormous and broke the sultan's power. Yet they were a small fraction of those inflicted by the pirates upon Spaniards, Tagals and Visayas in 250 years. In lSSG-7the Soulous became unruly, and an expedition, naval and military, was sent against, them from Manila. It pursued the time honored course ct' de? stroying homes, fields, boats and cattle and killing every armed man. The rebels were pacified and a festival held in Manila. The pacification could not have b>en very thorough, for there have been thiee others in the last decade. The latest report was that peace reigned supreme, but it was added that the . Spanish troops were not allowed to go outside of the fortifications in Suiu un? less armed and in strong detachments! Tho siege of Manila by Dewey and Merritt was not the first, but tho third in its history. The first was in 1574, when the Chinese, under the command of Li-Ma-Ong, made a fierce onslaught, but were routed, their ships destroyed or captured and their armies slain or driven into the savages' country. The second was in 17(52, when the British, under General Draper, captured and pillaged it, inflicting heavy losses to life and property. The victors held it from Oct. 5 until March 31, 1703. In the war with Li-Ma-Ong the natives were neutral. In this war they const! - tuted the main strength of the Spanish arms. Their bravery was startling. On one occasion 6,000 poorly armed and undrilled men rushed lhe British lines and foaghc their way, knife in hand, into tho second and third rows of sol- j diers. Of tbeCOOOculy 100 returned j to tell tho story of tho charge The true charter of Manila and also | of thc Philippines is a royal decree of ANCIENT PHILIPPINE JEWELS. King Philip the Cruel, signed in 1587. Carefully studied, it throws much light upon the course of the administration of the islands. Thus it prohibited anybody not legally domiciled in the colony from engaging in any trade or profession, taxed the natives intolerably and divid? ed the tax between the king, the clergy and the officials. It gave almost unlim? ited power to the ruling classes. The charter seems to be followed the eame today as when it was signed. The most eventful incident in the history of Manila was the "cholera massacre" of 1S20. The epidemic ran through Luzon and several other islands and decimated the population. At the height of the panic a crazy or drunken Spaniard startled the mob by the decla? ration that the disease was due to poison ar.ministered by doctors and imported by foreigners, who intended to kill all the residents and then enjov their prop? erty. The excited mob believed the mad story, and with the cry, "To death I with the poisoners!" began wholesale ! murder. They hunted the doctors and j nurses, killing many with fiendish j cruelty. They then turned upon the j English, American and French mer- j chants, killing these and looting their j houses, offices and stores. The city was ! a carnival of riot, looting and crime a j week before, thc authorities could re- j store law and order. The epidemic taught a lesson to Ma- j nil:!. The authorities began to care for j the public health. They improved the drainage, introduced water and made a j heal til board. This began a new era for ; the beautiful capital of thc Philippines, j WiiXJAii E. S. FAI.ES ( ? d Satins ;i ich ines rind* ne* nt Rind el's I j Ir' yon \T4I: voar mtcrtine mad-* cew i ?r g it to Rhodie. : The Kales of the Ho-"*e. I "How can I learn the rules of the house?" asked a newly elected Irish member of the late Mr. Parnell. "By breaking them." was the prompt reply of the Irish leader, who, as is well known, spoke from experience on the I point. But few members would care to adopt thar heroic method of obtaining the desired knowledge, and their task lu mastering the rules is rendered all ; the more difficult by the curious fact I that many of these regulations are un ! written. j Some will be found in thc standing ? orders, or permanent rules; but those that deal with etiquette and decorum have not been officially recorded any? where, save in a few quaint and obso? lete regulations to be found in the old issues of the journals of the house or in the minutes of proceedings taken by i the clerk and published daily during the session. For instance, a strange rule for the guidance of the speaker is set down un? der the 10th of February, 1620, "The speaker not to move his hat until the third congee.: ' Propriety of carriage in leaving the chamber is thus enforced, "Those who go out of the house in a confused manner before the speaker to forfeit 10 shillings." Thisrule is dated the 12th of November, 1G40. Again we find that on the 2od of March, 1G93, it was ordered. "No member to take tobacco into the gallery or to the table sitting at committees."-Nineteenth Century. Useful Si^vaah Docs. If you are geing to prospect in Alaska and expect to travel much, a pair of good "Siwash" dogs are very essential -almost indispensable. These dogs greatly differ from our domesticated dogs, taking to the harness like a duck to water. They do not bark at slan? gers. They aro kind and affectionate, showing the wolf in them only among their kind. It seems to be against their principles to get off the trail to let an? other team pass. This means a fight, an exciting epi? sode if the teams number five or six dogs each. In an instant the wildest confusion takes place. Dogs, harness and eacii driver with a club in his hand form one grand jumble from which or? der can only be restored by some of the dogs being knocked senseless. The dogs are trained to "gee" and "haw, " like an ox and stop at the word "whoa!" "Mush" is the word used generally by the whites to indicate go ahead, a per? version of the Indian word "busch." The dogs prefer their master, but if lent for use they work as faithfully as for their master.-San Francisco Chron? icle. Damaging. A Chicago politician-a veteran in the ranks-was recently accused by a former henchman of having offered him a bribe of ?000 to do a job for him. The wily "second fiddle" kept the $500 and afterward brought it in evidence against his former chief. While the scandal was being blown about town an acquaintance of the accused met him one day and slapping him good natured? ly on the back said chaffingly: "Well. John, so you were going to drop ?500 in Bili's way, were you?" The politician colored, or, to speak ac? curately, his already florid complexion took cii a purple tinge, as he said by way cf explaining his agitation (his original language is revised;: "Now, Jon't give a hang for the talk -,lo. bribing him. That ain't not.i.j. Jut it burrs my reputation to have my friends think I was such a clam as to give that heeler sOOO when I could have fought him with a ham!" -New York Commercial Advertiser. Forgot Something. Helen and her father and mother were dining in a hotel, and Helen, who was 6 years old, had never before dined in a public place. The waiter was so attentive and cour? teous that Helen's mother said that he must be tipped at the end of the meal. The word tipped was oue Helen had never heard used except in connection wth a dump cart on her father's prem? ises. W7hen they got up to leave the dining room, she said: "Oh, papa, papa! You forgot to dump the waiter!"-Youth's Compan? ion Both Satisfied. Hicks-Wheeler and Brassey met for the first time yesterday, and they got on together famously. They kept up their talk until late in the evening. Wicks-What were they talking about? Hicks-Bicycles and golf. Wicks-But Wheeler doesn't know the first thing about golf. Hicks-Neither does Brassey know anything about bicycling. But that makes no difference. Each kept it np on his favorita topic without listening to the other.-Boston Transcript. Jj* Umbrella. The other evening a mau was rush? ing through the streets of Loudon hur? rying to au appointment when a swell passed in front of him who held his umbrella at a dangerous angle. The hasty pedestrian pulled the umbrella away from tho swell, and then, step? ping around to him, said in suavest tone: "Ob, by the way, here's your um? brella. I found it in my eve."-Pick Me (Jp._*_* Wealth on It? Travel?. Miss Oilabrod - There's a clever sculptress down this way. You ought to see what she can make out of butter. Miss Ritchley Greest-She's a good one if she can make as much out of it as my pa m.-.kes out of oleomargarine. -Chicago Tribune. Good Impulses. A man should allow none bur good impulses to stir his heart, and he should keep ir free from any evil that may beat it down and harden it.-Kev. J. 1) Hammond. Wisdom to-dnj means cointon lo-roorrow To vrove ir buy :\ "Wnite" ann tige ir. The White Is Kin?-M. B. Randi? seil? it. A Great Naval Deel. Kencef crward-to use Nelson's words j about his cwn mest desperate acction "there *,vas no maneuvering, there was only downright fighting," and great as was .Tones' unquestionable merit as a : handler of ships it was downright fight? ing endurance of the most extreme and I individual character that won this bat j tie. When thus in contact, the superior ! ity of the British eighteens over the .America:! twelves, though less than at a distance, was still great, but a far heavier disparity lay in the fabrics of the two enemies. The Richard was a j -very old ship, rotten, never meant for j naval use. The Serapis was new, on j her first commission. The fight hitherto j having engaged the pert guns of the ; latter, the starboard lower gnnports j were still closed, and from the ships i touching could not be opened. They j were therefore blown off, and the fight went on. "A novelty in naval combats was now presented to many witnesses, but to few admirers,'' quaintly wrote Lieu? tenant Dale, who was in the midst of the scene below decks. "The rammers were run into the respective ships to enable the men to load"-that is, the staves of the rammers of one ship en? tered the ports of the other as the guns were being loaded. "We became so close fore and aft, " reported Pearson, j "that the muzzles of our guns touched I each other's sides,"and even so, by the ! testimony of the lieutenant on the lower i gun deck of the Serapis, her guns could net be fully run out owing to the near? ness of the vessels.-Captain Mahan in Scribner's. Ar. Anecdote of thc Re volution. Senator Bate of Tennessee told the following anecdote of Colonel Tom Sumter: Sumter was a great big giant j of a fellow, with a voice like a fog i horn. It is said his "holler" could be j heard for miles. On one occasion when i he was off on a foray the Tories came and captured his wife, Molly, and stripped the plantation of everything. When "Old Tom" came home and found Molly gone, his rage knew no bounds. ! Gathering together such forces as he I could he put after the Tories. He over? took them on the third day and hung about until midnight. Then he deploy? ed his for s around the camp and told them tc . ait his orders to fire. He was afraid of Molly being shot in the melee. So when he get everything ready he opened his big mouth and let out a yell that fairly made the earth tremble: "Lay down, Molly! Lay down, Molly!" ? and Molly, recognizing those stentorian tones, fell prone on her face, and after the last "Lay down, Molly!" came the command fire and charge. Molly was recaptured wi ?bout hurt. Must Have Been a Boston Man. "Here is a story, " says the Kennebec (Me.) Journal, "they are telling on a trolley conductor in the employ of an eastern Maine company. There being a slight wait, a certain member of the sex which is net considered eligible for enlistment and m .y therefore be sat on I with impunity get the benefit of his ruling passion. Here is their conversa? tion : "The Woman-Are you going to the Bangor House? "The Conductor-No. madam. "Tho Woman-Is this car going to the Bangor Hoase then? "The Conductor-No. madam. "The Woman-Well-er-er-is this the car to take to go to the Bangor House? "Thc Conductor-It is. madam. . It' passes the door. "She clambered in, and the villain smiled cn." Fortunes From, bananas. Immense fortunes have been made' out of the banana business. Revenues do not accrue alone from tho sale of the fruit, for the leaves are used for pack? ing ; the juice, being strong in tannin, makes an indelible ink and shoe black? ing ; the wax found on the underside of the leaves is a valuable article of com? merce; manilla hemp is made from the stems, and of this hemp are made mats, plaited work and lace handkerchiefs of the finest texture. Moreover, the banana is ground into banana flour. The fruit to be sold for dessert is ripened by the dry warmth of flaring gas jets in the storage places in which it is kept, and immense care has to betaken to prevent softening or overri? ening. The island of Jamaica yields great crops of this useful and money making fruit. A Stone That Grow?. A West Gouldsboro (Me.) man tells a queer story about a stone that grows. It is an egg shaped, flinty looking rock, which he picked up in a cove near his home over '?0 years aga Then it weighed about 12 pounds and from its odd shape was kept in the house and on the doorstep as a curiosity. As the years passed tho stone increased in size. Six years ago it weighed 40 pounds, and now it tips the scale at 65 pounds. The owner swears it is the same stone, and tells a likely story, with numer? ous witnesses to back him up.-Ex? change. Drunk on Smoking. Moslems are forbidden to drink wines j or spirits, but in Tunis they contrive to reach the same ends by smoking prepa? rations of hemj) Sowers. The milder kind is called kif. and if used iu moder? ation has no more effect than wine, but the concentrated essence, known as chira, produces intoxication as quickly as raw spirits and leads to delirium I tremens. Well Located. He-Phrenologists locate benevolence exactly at the top of the head. 1 She-Ves, as far from the pocket j book as possible.-Op to Date. Mer Liquid voice. "Your wile Juts such a liquid voice," said Mr. F. admiringly to Mr. T. "Yrs; that's a pretty good name for it." replied Mr. T. Mr. F. looked up inquiringly, and Mr. T. added immediately: "Don't you understand: Why, it never dries up, you know. "-London Fun.