The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, December 02, 1920, Image 4
UncleWatt's
Siori/v&A
IRONIES OF LIFE
44'T^OMUELSON made a taik to the
A Commercial club, on 'Business
Efficiency,'" observed the retired mer
chant, "and the next day nis store was
closed by the sheriff."
"Life is full of such ironies, doggone
m?St every ^ay"
man-killing brutes,
and the way he could make them eat
out of his hand, half an hour after
being formally introduced to them, was
a sight worth going miles to see. He
always had immense crowds at his ex
bibitions, and it seemed that his future
was assured. But one day he was
loafling around a livery stable, just
because he liked the atmosphere of
the place, and an old, weary hack
borse reached out a long, crooked limb,
handed him one with it, and broke his
leg.
"He had to go to a hospital for a
while, and when he came out his occupation
was gone. He was as good a
horse breaker as ever, but people
wouldn't pay their hard-earned money
to see the exploits of a conquering
hero who had been manhandled by an
old hack horse. You must admit that
there was some sardonic intelligence
back of such a joke as that. If the
man had been hooked by a cow, or run
over by a traction engine, or chewed
up by an honest watchdog, it wouldn't
have hurt his renown and prestige.
But, no! A blamed old relic of a horse
had to put him out of business.
"A long time ago. a very important
case was tried in an Irish court. The
people were greatly wrought op over
It, and the courtroom was crowded.
When It was announced that the jury
was ready with a verdict, the Judge
addressed the audience, saying he
knew there was much feeling over the
case, but the hall of Justice was no
olace for a display of it, and if there
A A
I This is
IDut a display a<
also look well
before entrusting
We have
with a large capi
merit it, and yot
We pay ^
11 %/ %/
placed with us u
The
KINGSTREE
ssKMnrawms
4^
was a least sign of disturbance win
the verdict was made known, the gu
ty parties wouid be arrested.
'The jury brourht In its verdict, ai
the people heard it in silen<*\ hut ju
then a whole doggone gallery, wl
ahout a thousand people in it. car
crashing down, and the noise cou
have been heard forty miles out at sf
After the judge's solemn warnii
against a disturbance, the fall of th
gallery has always seemed to me If
a painful Joke.
"A long time neo. I was called up<
to address a crowd of voters on tl
li\ing issues of the day, and I frara
up a speech that would have been
credit to any orator. I swiped it frc
Roscoe Conkling. and I have alwa
insisted that he was one of the grot
psr i>i American sjicaKcrs. im> nvu
wa? full of refined and cultured pe
pie. and I was determined to make t
hit of mv life. I was just pettii
warmed up to my work, when tl
lights went out. and the hall w
plnnsred in hlack darkness. Then
nothing makes a man feel more idiot
than to have the lights shut off
such a time. The women in the am
ence were giggling, and the men ha
hawing. It seemed funny to everybo
but me.
"I thought I knew where the lit!
table was, that held the pitcher of 1
water, and I moved toward it ai
fell over a chair, and flattened a
nose against the edge of a piece
scenery. When the lights we
flashed on again, as suddenly as th
went out, the audience beh^d t
Ai*ofAi* nn htc honrla qi
liTCl lUU^UCU VIQlVl v>i .
knees, climbing slowly to his feet, a:
trying to mold his nose into its orlj
nal shape.
"I never saw such a delirious cro\
In my life. Some of the worn
laughed themselves'into hysterics, a:
the fool men weren't much hett<
They never heard the balance of th
oration, and the last part was t
best."
Alliteration.
Alliteration occurs sometimes in tl
writings of the ancients, but not, It
supposed, designedly, as they regar
ed all echoing of sound as a rhetoric
blemish. Cicero, in the "Offices," h
this phrase: "Senslm sine sensu aet
senescit;" and Virgil in the "A
neld," has many marked alliteratioi
?William Mathews.
Try, Try Again.
"Lottarox was telling me that 1
has been trying for six months wil
out success to get a passage to see t
battlefields of France."
"Evidently the wind has chanpt
He spent two years trying not to s
them, with success."?The Americi
Legion Weekly.
Have you anything you want prii
ed? Bring it to us. We do a hij
F I
not a su<
bustin' ]
J for discriminating
into their resource
y their savings and
passed the ninetee
tal and a big surpli
i sleep well and res
'ou 5 per cent. Intt
p to July 15th will
Bai
i
'? " x
feyjt' r ' ^ .
v /
en Pre-.To
protect tie I't-iio jiii fleet ru
light without IiiU'i jering with tlie il
luiniuation in otner directions, a metal
iSt shade, to lie attached to a lamp with a
, wire spring. has been patented,
n*! 0
Id
^ In Seattle
i The man who slopped j. stranger tr
at I ?:i.v "What's that on vour face?" *?n<
Ijq j then, when after a moment of puzzlln;
I silence, answered himself: "Yotn
[>0 nc.se," renimine from the hospital -aii
[,e he was convinced that Tennyson whj
P(j right In concluding that "a sorrow"!
a crown of sorrows is remembering hap
im P'er things." ? Seattle Post-Intelll
ys Pfn<>pr,t
I
se j Substitute for 0:>:d
to- What is said to be 11 ser IcenMe sub
he stiMite fi t gold is obtained by comhin
ag trig !M t<arfs of copper with six parti
he of antiir.onv and adding a little mag
as nesluitl carbonate to Increase th<
s's weight. It is said that this nllov car
tic be drawn, wrou. and soldered vert
at much like gold and that it also re
11- ceives and retains a golden polish.
W- I
fly
The New York Life Insurance C<
tie has over three billion dollars insui
ce ance in force. Represented by R. I
Qd Mills. f-23-tf<
ay
of The New York Life Insurance C<
re is the strongest life insurance com
ey pany in America. Represented by F
h* D. Mills. 9-23-tf<
ad
ad i ?
?i- !
. . , '
? | CYPRESS ,
ail ^ SASH
hi j \ DOORS
t BUNDS
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as
I
?l % w
rl
ee MOULD1INUS yp*
an AND
MILLWORK
it- __
?h " -1'
i R
:ker
proposition
is it th
[ people and others w
:s, earning capacity ai
surplus funds.
nth year mark of oui
js and profit fund, ^
t easy once it is place
:rest on your Saving
bear interest as if pla
ok c
4
k4-!4!4-!4!4!4M-!4!4-!4?4-!4-!4-H
1 Pittsb
> rjfl
| S ELE
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3 A1 v
|
| For Farm, F
?
? THE BEST \
X
H The k:
4
?
?; | WE HAVE A (
!; f. ' NISH YOU HOG FEI
>. i FENCING, HORSE
I S MOUS "PITTSBURG
j I Every ]
i WE ABSOLUT
g FECT" FENCING TO
i IN ALL RESPECTS
| IZING AND THE EI
p OF THIS GTJARANTI
^ COMPANY, OWNINO
| DEPENDENT PLAN'
I King
?
$ "the po:
IS KINGSTREE,
a
I K<K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K^^-K?4
C E ^
/
i nor
e propositi
of a
hr* fa\/r?r nnt nnlv pffir
IIV/ 1UT V/l nvr w vr
id immediate manager!
corporate existence;
A^e have the experienc
d with us.
Deposits, computed t
ced on deposit July 1st
>f K
%
I
urg Per
ICTRICALLY WELDED
i r enc
Sultry, Garden am
VIRE FENCING IN THE W(
ind that stopped the elephant.
100D SUPPLY ON HAND A
ICING, SHEEP FENCING
lND CATTLE FENCING (
1 PERFECT" TYPE.
r
lvuu viuai am
I
ELY GUARANTEE "PITTi
BE EXACTLY AS WE RE
? TO QUALITY OP WIRE
.ECfrRICALLY WELDED JC
3E STANDS THE PITTSB
I AND OPERATING THE ]
TS IN THE WORLD.
iardware
PULAR HARDWARE STOI
-0- SOUT
1SS8SSS3B^S^^SSS(SS^^3S3SS^SSS^S^BS^
8 888 S3o 883 8?m8???? fiSS 388 8So SS? 8? 3SffiS?a53J 8?2
IT j
\
'
on
busted si
ient service from banks,
lent, as well as their C
are prosperous and p
e and want vour busin
%/
ivery thred months, i
the beginning of this <
4
ingsti
SOUTH CAF
feet J'
ing
d Lawn
ORLD. j
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ND CAN FUR- jj *
POULTRY |
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sb * jfes
shh
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but who 4: H
>irectorate,
rogressive,
ess. We
\ny funds j|
luarter. H
ee I g
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.....