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His First Lesson In ? y Medical Practice By THOMAS R. DEAN Miss Elsie Tisdale was engaged to marry Mr. Bert Sawyer, a medb ui studefit. Mr. Sawyer was aware that Miss Tfsdale was as sensitive as a bird. All she knew about physicians was when one of them came to the bouse, felt some one's pulse, asked about sundry Symptoms and. taking out a square bit of paper, wrote certain hieroglyphic en It that an apothecary understood. What Bertie, as she called him, was going through to acquire a medical edacatlon she bad no Idea. That he ate pianuts off the breast of a cadaver be was at work on In the dissecting room. that be used the top of a skull, Inverted, for a tobacco box; that he frequently took a band, a foot or some other member of the human body to hU room to cut to pieces, she had not even a suspicion. She supposed that a medical school was like other schoolsbooks, books, nothing but books, and nice, clean books at that?while genteel professor* lectured on how to core stomach ache and when to give the baby paregoric. Bert, aware of her innocence, was very careful not to 4tttort> her notions of the medical profession bjr enlightening ber. By an unfortunate contretemps he suddenly burst upon h?r in i his true rightfulness. She had been ytettng a fltawd tn a oefghbortsg etty aad waa returning by call. She bad Uton In the ear bat t tow minutes ifbcb she tow tto beck dft head tint loosed im miliar. n w?? ididw mw toward a man who sat betide Its owner and displayed ti? profile of lfr. Bert Sawyer. Facing the two eat a figure done up In a Ms shawl. Horrible to relate, the face of the figure was that OY a skull. Mr. Sawyer and his friend Billy Peterson had learned where the skeleton of a human being could be bought cheap. They had gone for It purchased !t and were taking It home. There were but few persons In the car, and the eonduqtor had good naturedly permitted them to seat it opposite themselves. Just as Miss Tlsdale got Into the car, recognized her lover and caught aight of the grinning face witlrno nose and empty eye sockets the conductor came through the train and, passing the two medicos, punched their tickets. "Fare, governor," said Mr. Sawyer, addressing the skeleton. "Produce your ? -a?M1 KA nnf ?? UC&Cl Ut JUU II uc |SUfc vu.. The skeleton continued to* grin, the conductor smiled, and the men in the' car seeped to think it all very funny. There ^vere two women besides Elsie, [ one sitting in the next seat and one farther forward. Neither of them - aeenied to consider Mr. Sawyer's action a bit fuunv. As for Elsie, she was paralyzed with horror, r "Oh, he's all right," said the other medico. "He's no deadhead," and, slipI pine his own ticket in the band of his j bat. he put the hat on the skeleton's ; bead. j This caused a bfrrst of laughter from | the men in the car and a#scowl from f the women. ; "Smoke, governor?" said Hert, thrustP ing a cigar between the skeleton's j toothless and gumless jawbones. [ Another laugh from the men and a r murmur of indignation from the worn| en. The train rounding a curve, the * * * * a *^11 skeleton lost lis oaiance auu ten gainst the arm of the seat, f "Sit up, governor." said Bert "Don't be rolling around that way. The passengers will think you've been drinking." "I smell his breath." said Billy?"gin and lemon peer." The conductor was sitting at the end of the car, and one of the women called to him and told him that if he didn't stop that indecent behavior on the part of those young men she would report him for negligence of duty. At this the conductor went to the two medics and told them they had better roll their bony companion iu his shawl and stop the fun. To this they acceded, and that ended the performance. Soon after the train rolled r Into the station the medics and the > "governor" went out through the front end of the car. while Elsie left it at the rear. She held her handkerchief to her eyes to conceal her tears and to avoid being recognized by Bert whom she intended never to meet again as her fiance. The next morning's mail brought him a note from her containing the few words: "Our engagement is broken." Sawyer looked at it side wise and k * endwise, then shook it as if it were a toy puzzle. He could not understand It. Anyway something was wrong, and he went right over to the house to i find out about it. Mrs. Tisdale came k down with a suppressed smile and told Fhlrn the cause of the break. Elsie had come home the day before heartbro g ken. She had supposed sne was going I to marry a gentleman and found that I instead she was to marry a ghoul. I Bert was crushed. | "You'd better drop the whole afI fair." said Mrs. Tisdale, "and let Elsie I get over it by degrees." I "She'll never get over it," groaned I Bert "She'll have a horror of me so I The affair was a good lesson to Bert. I II. became a famous physician and 1 im-.er forgot that the doctors and the I laity are two different peoples. As for | Elsio he was right in assuming that K sh? a'd always have a horror of I hi: <1 ::i >th; r Novor Learned the Turkey Trot How old am I? Well, never mind. I've had my little fling. Yet. though I've led h merry rout. In one thing 1 have uuite missed out? It la of this I sing. And oftentimes at cabarets At others longingly I gaze? I never danced the turkey trot I never learned the turkey trot Ah. how I envy these trotteura! THeirs is a nappy 101. The chairs and tables cleared away. They gather In a brave array To do the turkey trot. While I. with many a vain regret. Have overlooked this single bet? I cannot dance the turkey trot. I never danced the turkey trot The bunny hug I fain would try Or yet the chicken reel And other steps and figures, too. Baaed on the barnyard and the soo. With primitive appeal. But I must be a wall flower still. Because I fear 1 never will Learn how to dance the turkey trot? Ah, me. to dance the turkey trot! ?Chicago Inter Oceaa. A Knowing Parrot. "What a fine parrot you have!" salt Harold to the young woman vt whon he was calling. "How la he on 1ml tating?" "Greetr said the hostess. "He cai Imitate almost anything." "Over at Smith's," continued Harold "they have a bird that can Imitate t kiss to perfection. Can your bird d< tbatr "No, Indeed," answered Mabel lndlg nantly. "Parrots can only Imitate, an< It lis not ttkefy that oar Mrd would re peat a sound It la not accustomed b Mar." Then Polly spoke. -Don't "Will; don't, dear." ? MM -Walt ontU I take this wrttthed bin oat of the room."?Philadelphia Bee trd. The Oilwaa. 1 shall oat rota for Mn Iki||? !&**** bar gown. ad I r*n>?mb?r well the dlaa I goi from Clara Brown. Jemima Patterson MlfM Mail ftt do vote of miaa horrid, stuck up thing IS sha And also I decline To vote for Anastasta Bunoa I falrty ban .with rasa When I recall that more than onoa She lied about my age And Mabel Jones and Agnes Carr And Clementina Ball Til scratch because they never are At home the days I calL I cannot vote, you understand. For Angelina Pratt, Because she Isn't stylish, and She wears a last year's bat Oh. goodness me! That brings me througl ?'- ? "1-1. K?1W. .moll A no USA. A mo uaiiV/1. a bum**. There's no one left What <hall I do? I cannot vote at all! ?Sprlnfffleld Union. * A? a Curioaity. "Mother's compliments." said a young ster recently to a certain butcher win kept a shop in a busy suburban thot oughfare. "and she sent me to shov you the big bone brought with tbi piece of beef this morning." 'Tell your mother next time I kill a bullock without bones In it I'll mak( her a present of a Joint," said the mai of meat. "Mother's compliments," continuet the boy, "and she says next time yoi find a bit of sirloin with a shoulder o mutton bone in it she'd like to buy thi whole carcass as a curiosity:"?Ex change. A "Cf" ?*? 81 Slmlln says his wife may be A little bit inclined To throw the dishes round too free When speakin' of her mind. But Si won't let her manner quaint Cause him to pine or fret He simply says he's glad she ain't A London suffragette. When Si his well cooked dinner carves, Although her smiles are few, He's glad she's not the kind that starvei Herself and men folks too. - And when she lets a skillet fly More forceful than polite, "Three cheers for Marthy Jane!" sayi SL "She don't use dynamite!" ?Washington Star. An Economist "Now, look here, uiy man," said tlx philanthropist to the tramp; "there t no use of un ablebodied fellow lik< you passing his days in idleness Come to my office and I'll give yoi work." "Thank you. sir." said Weary. "Bu I'm afraid I can't come. Tm tryin' t< keep my income down onder $3.0(X so's as I can save the income tax."Judge. Her Accomplishment. She knows a silly smatter of a lot of pet ty things. She twitters of the poets, and she reall: ' thinks she sings. She always calls It Paree when she chopi a little French. She owns a bleary poodle, who wins rib bons on the bench. She's Just a fluffy ruffles, and nobody thinks she's bright? But watch her dance the tango, for shi always geia 11 usui. ?Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Wise Tip. Secretary ? A subscriber writes tc ask us tbe best way to prevent th< annoying attentions of strange ' mei who follow her. Correspondence Editor?Tell her t( turn and ask the man for a donatloi for the militant suffragettes.?Judge. Lovers. They hold each other s hand, and thei they kiss (Caresses hot as warm winds from thi south). As they repeat it o'er and o'er there'! bliss. It seems, in livinK thus from hand t< mouth. ?Spokane Spokesman-Review. Speed and Endurance. "Money went a whole lot further li the old days than it does now," sah the old fogy. 'That's because It didn't go so fast,' explained the wise puy.?Clncinnat Eu'juirer j Some of i ! TOWERS; i l nHERE is sometl appeals to ev "Quality" is i both of which are SHOES I They are ho: l ^lilltr rr\tafan f fn |*u?/ 5 uo iv/ manship?and we haw styles?and all sizes, for this season before we can save you mon shoe and a better fit These Shoes are i tree exclusively by J Company. t HI I = ff lit Il? TV L justly famoi for men, \ have worn E means. If y< store and th< out darning new ones. A full line tc a i Ladies' Ready r A full line of the latest thin] e $15.00 and $20.00 the suit. I *Long Coats for Ladies, Miss Coats $5.00 to $15.00. Misses' ren's Jackets $150 to $5.00. g Don't fail to visit botl have ever sho^n since con styles and quality are righ Jenkira TAKE IT IN TIME. ? Just as Scores of Kiogstree People 3 Hare. 1 L , Waiting doesn't pay. If you neglect kidney backache, t Urinary troubles often follow. 5 Actin time by curing the kindneys. J Doan's Kidney Pills are especially " for weakened kidneys. Many people in this locality recommend them. Here's one Georgetown case: Mrs Jasper Martin, 3 Wood St, ' Georgetown, S C, says: "My back i was so weak and lame that I could hardly get around to attend to my ' r+ _ .1 _n - houseworK ana i sunerea an ine i r time from backache and pains across B my kidneys. I had little strength or energy and the kidney secretions were unnatural. Hearing about Doan's Kidney Pills, I got a supply j and they cured me. I have had no j need of a kidney medicine since, i You are welcome to continue the publication of my former testimonial. > For sale by all dealers. . Price 50 1 cents. Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo, New York, sole agents for the United States. i Remember * the name?Doan's? and take no other. adv. 3 M _ 3 expensive cauuy. , The corn crop of a certain Western county is nearly a total failure this year. One morning a short time ago a farmer took a sack and went | to his sixty-aere sweet-corn field to jsee if he could find enough roasting ? ears for a meal. In going over the l field he found that each ear had only about a couple of rows of corn, so : i. V iie World's Sf4 king about 14 Quality** that ery man and woman ? character and honesty? found in LONGWEAR iest through and through? style, material and works them in all leathers?all See our exclusive models jf buying your next pair? |j ey and give you a better II sold in Kings- low Kx] j| enkinson Bros Mwjw 11 I Hi jjili.i iijiiBl %CICD\/ suiLrv^i iow in stock a full line of the is ister Brown Hose ' vomen and children. You who luster Brown Hose know what it du buy four pairs of hose at our ey do not last four months withthey are actually replaced with Put them to the test, will you? ) select from. -to-Wear Goods gs in Coat Suits at $10.00, $12.50, es and Children. Ladies' Long Long Coats $3.50 to .$7.50. Childi of our stores while in Kingst ling to Kingstree awaits your it. COME TO SEE US! son Brol he cut the corn off the cobs and had it cooked for dinner. About dinner-time a young fellow who lives near by drove up, and the farmer invited him to stay. At the table he passed the corn to the young man first,and the visitor took one spoonful of corn and started to take another, when the farmer stopped him and said: "Don't you think you are going a little strong on the corn?" The young man was very much embarrassed. "Why?" he stammered. "Well, you have about fifteen acres of corn on your plate now."? Everybody's) .Noah's Liniment is the best mmsmmn H| remedy for Rheumatism, HUmKH Sciatica, Lame Back, Stiff MB Joints and Muscles. Sore [|EyK5K>1u HQ Throat, Colds, Strains, I BE Sprains, Cuts. Bruises. I KB Colic. Cramps. Neuralgia. hfJHVn KTH 1 Toothache, andall Nerve. Illlf,l*VI Bone and Muscle Aches Ik Kjjj and Pains. The genuine uImUUUm jHm has Noah's Ark on every (IP|[u|j || L<Sl package and looks like this UjyjjmiAfl IdB cut, but has RED band on " H| front of package and K? awtl KAST 9K3i "Noah's Liniment" always mmmihb Km ' in RED ink. Beware of sTi-STi K,-s) ! imitations. Sold by all ! dealers. 25c., 50c., and $1.00. IS* Guaranteed or money re- I mm mm imm I funded by >joah Remedy I? Co., Inc., Richmond, Va. RWH7J23 HP Sample free on request. Receipt Books, Blank Notes, Mortgages aud all Legal Blanks in demand, for sale at The Record office. If we have not the form you wish we can print it cn short notice. I * .j? i I Greatest Sti Craddock-Terry burg, Va.; Walk Campobello, Mass Portsmouth, 0.; ] ! Co., Frankfort, Ky i some of the worl manufacturers, ar line from each mai Selby's Fine SI have a world wide reputatic and we carry them in stoc j $3.50 and $4.00 the pair. Walk'Over SI I are sola all over the known utation for wear, style and stock at all times. i Hoge-Montgomerj and Q have a great reputation for you want shoes aon't fail to < Lsmai famous bran Caps 25c to $1. iwj Dress Goot IKHSj ijaaies, yuu khuw are this season and terials and trimming es. Plain Velvets in all shades i caded Velvets $1.00 to $1.50 the; and stylish Dress Goodwin all the ree. The greatest and mos inspection, and best of all 01 theirs Co Notice of Stockholders' MeetingNotice is hereby given that there will be a meeting of the stockholders of the Bank of Williamsburg, in the Bank building, Kingstree, S C, on November 24, 1913, at 12 o'clock.noon, to consider a resolution previously passed by. the Board of Directors of the said 'Bank whereby it is proposed that the capital stock of said Banlc be increased to an amount not to exceed One Hundred Thousand Dollars and that the corporation change from a State to a National Rank. CHAS W STOLL, ! October 27, 1913. President 10-30-4t Notice to TeachersEach white teacher in Williamsburg county is requested and expected to meet in the Kingstree Graded school auditorium Saturday. November 8,at 12 o'clock, for the purpose of organizing a County Teachers' association. An interesting programme will be provided and each teacner is urgently requested to be present. R N Speioner, 10-30-2t County Supt Education. Registration Notice. The office of the Supervisor of Rck in i isrration win ue upcu uu vuc iuuuday in each month for the purpose of registering any person who is qualified as follows: Who shall have been a resident o! the State for two years, and of .the county one year, and of the polling precinct in which the elector offer? to vote four mouths before the day of election, and shall have paid, su months before, any poll tax then dm and payable, and who can both rent and write any section of the constitution of 1895 submitted to him by fcfcf Supervisors of Registration, or wh. can show that he owns, and has yui? all taxes collectible on during tlu present year, pioperty in this Stat* assessed at three hundred dollars 01 mere. H A Meyer, f.lerk of Boar< /' - loe Makers | ] Shoe Co., Lynch-J I -Over Shoe Co/TUI I ,'f Selby Shoe (WjSr I Soge-Montgomeiy. - *3 r. Yes, these are I Id's greatest shoe I id we carry a full M lufacturer. m ioes for 'Ladies m for style and comfort, 1 k for fine trade at $3.00, 9 H A M hoe# for Men j world and Ujey have a rep | comfort. A full line in J r Shoes for Ladies uldren |1 wear arid comfort. ' Wheir :all and see our great lines, | "IT H m nil lUTil I I l-BMt I ^CAPS [ (ummell & Co. and I Chesterfield Hats ' : ur line of Hats and Caps ! you who have worn our | lis. A full line of these I j ds in stock all of the time. | 00. Hats 50c to $5.00 m I Is and Trimmings I how stylish one-piece Dresses I we have a gorgeous line of ma- I ?s to make these pretty dress- v 1 it 50c to $1.00 the yard. Brc- j yard.. All kindsseasonable ,-A i best shade?,25c,50c,75c, $1*yd. I t varied line of goods we ir nriees are nVht. and our I impany BIG MONEY FOR AGENTS The Ladies of I President Wilson's Administration J Tell How to Rodoce the Hifh Coot of Liybf to ^ The Economy |tfg9HEj3l Administration Cook Book H^%8? The moat subJect of the day. Something Entirely New? ^ KgjKHHEM Th> 0 restart Seller iIrm HBfflHGH tha #v The Whrti the Prat- I least ef tha Ualtsd States, f Viae-President. tha Cahlarf Officials, Speaker at Haaia of Representative*. | Senator*. Caaaraaaaaa. Qovaraart, iutffaa tad baa* eratfa af etherl m aorta at woman at tba day?haw all ! aaatrlbatad thalr ekalaait aullaary raelaaa ta aiake thla A wark a grand saeeets. -v ft NOTHING LIKE IT EVER PUBLISHED-Tha many unique feature* such at the crou Index to recipe* and ' , especially the blocraphle* of the celebrated contributor* make the work of both national and local Interest, IWt'i a Gold Mine is It for Live Afeats Previous book experience ta unnecemary aa mat* gUmpaes at the Prospectus allowing the multitude' of handsome copyrighted Illustrations and Invaluable recipes by the most prominent people of the day will deluge you with orders. .Send 23 cents for outfit and full tnatructlona?act now while your own favorite territory is (till open. n-?? A? W R. CONICEY COMPANY Publisher* i j HAMMOND. INDIANA I , WATTS & WATTf THE KINGSTREE JEWELERS | We keep on hand every- i thing to be found in an 11 ' up-to-date jewelry house | . Repairing and engraving \ done with neatness and j despatch. :: As home I dealers, guaranteeing * ' ' quality and prices, We Solicit Your Patronage. ' " ~ O" Near the Railroad Station. Have you paid for your paper? If not, why not? J