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REV. DR. TALMAGE fHE BROOKLYN DiTIKE’S SUNDAY SEBWoy. I Tixt: "At the hart panMh after the meter brooks, so pant el h my toui after Thee. OOiHi.”—Psalm, xlU. 1. David, who most sometime ham s?en a 4nr hunt, points ui here to a hunted stas BtakinK for the water. The fascinatinif aaimal called in n^j text the hart, is the •ame animal that in sacred and profane literature is called the stag, the roebuck, the hind, the gazelle, the reindeer. In Central Byria in Bible times there were whole pasture gelds of them, as Solomon suggests when he lays; '‘I charge you by the hinds of the BaM.” Their antlers jutted from the lo.ig grass as they lay down. No hunter who has boeu long in "John Brown's *ack,” will winder that in the Bible they were classed a hong dean animals, for the dews, the showera, the lakea washed them as clean as the sky. When Jacob, the patriarch longed for venison, Eeau shot and brought home a roebuck. Isaiah com ■ares the sprightliness of the restored cripple of millennial tithe to the long ana quick jump of the stag, saying- **lhe lame shall leap as the hart" Solo mon expressed his disgust at a hunter Who having shot a deer is too lazy •e cook it, saying; "The slothful man roasteth not that which lie took in bunting.” But one day David, while far from the home from which he hail been driven, and sitting near the door of a lonely •eve where he had lodged, and on the banks •f • pond or river, bears a pack of hounds iu ■wift pursuit Because of the previous silence •f the forest the clangor startles him. and ho mys to himself; "1 wonder what thosi dog* are after," Then them is a cracking Is the brushwood, and the loud breath bg of some rushing wonder of the woo is, and tbeant’ers of a deer rend the leaves •( the thicket, nn 1 by an inatnet Which alt hunter* recognis \ plunges into a pond or lake or river to cool its tliirst, nud at the same time by ita ca| acity for swifter and longer swimming, to get away from Ih; foaming harriers. David siys to h mself: "Aha, that is myself 1 Haul after me, Ab miom after me, enemies without number after me, I am chased, their bloo.lv muzzles at my beols, barking at my good name, barking after my body, barking after mv aouL Oh, the hounds, tho hounds But look there,” says David, "that reindeer has splashed Into the water. It puts its hot lip* and nostrils into the cool wave that washes the lathered thinks, and it swims away from the fiery canines, and it is frei at last. Oh, that I might find in tin deep, wide hike et God’s mercy and consolation escape from ■y pursuersi Oh, tor the wat- rs of I f > an 1 racue! As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after Thee, O Gon. I have just come from the Adirondacks ani the breath of the balsam and spruce and pine is still on me. The Adirondacks are Bow populous with hunters, and the deer are being slain by the score. Talking a few days ago with a hunter, I thought I would like to tse whether my text was aivurati in its al lusion, and as I beard tho dogs baying a little way off and supposed they were on the track of a reindeer, I said to the hunter in rough rerduror: “Do the deer always . make for the water when they are pursued r He said: "O, yes, Mister, you see they are a hot and thirsty animal, and . they know where the water is.and when they hear danger in the distance they lift the r utters and snuff the breeze and start for the Racquet, or Loon or Baranac; and we get Into our cedar shell boat or stand by tho ‘runway’with rifle loaded ready to blaze My friends, that is one reason why I like the Bible so much—its allusions •re so true to nature. Its partrid ;os •re real partridges, it; ostriches real ostriches, and ita reindeer real S reindeer. I do not wonder that this ant ered r of the text makes the hunter's eye kle and his cheek glow and his respira- quickeo. To say nothing of its useful. Dam, although it is the most useful of all game, ite flesh delicious, its skin turned into human apparel, its sinews fashioned into bow Jtnnge, its antlers putting handles on cut lery, and the shavings of its horns, us -d as n restorative, taken from the name of the h irt Bud called hartshorn. But putting aside its •sefulnesa, this enchanting creature seems ttarte ©nt of gracefulness and e aslic.ty. What nn eye, with a liquid brightness rs if gathered up from a hundred lakes of sunset! The horns, a coronal branching into every possible curve, and after it seems done, ad vancing into other pi ejections of exquistte- Besa a tree of polished bone, uplifted in pride, fr swung down for awful combat It is veloci ty embodied. Timidity impersonate ). Thcen ehantment of the woods. Eve lustrous in life and pathetic in death Tho splen lid animal a complete rhythm of muscle and bone, and color, and attitude, and locomotion, whothei couched in the grass among tho shadows, or a living bolt shot through the forest, or turning at bay t) attack the hounds, or roar ing for its last fall under the buckshot of the • very short carry Between them, and though for ara th«v mrgU r® n* 1 ®*® ksen drinking out of th^u" they are full up to the top of the a id they seem so near together that in three different places he speak, of them os » rontinuous river, saying: "There is a river make glad the city V»oushall make them drink of the rivers of thy pleasures;” "Thou greatly U * 9 riW ° f 0od which "way of you have turned your back oattat supply, and confront your trouble, a id you are soured with yourcircumstances •ud you are fighting so-ity, and you ?* s^VW^^ World> and troubles in- , n8: , y u U inl0 tbe ^-oof la'-e of beaveniy comfort, have made you stop an 1 turn round and lower your bead, and it is n',3 ply . f ntl,r •8«nst tooth. I do not blame you. Probably under , 6 *ame circumstances I would hav® done worse. But you are all wrong. \ ou need to do as the reinJeer does in Keo- ruary and March-it sheds its horns. The of ant W? I V luiie 10 lhi8 •■’W'gnation of antlers by the stag when they say of a ruau who ventures his money in rsky enter prises, he has hung it oa the stag's horns; aud a proverb in the tar Hast tells a man who has foolishly lost his fortune to go and find where the deer shell her horns. My brother, quit the antagonism of your circumstances, quit mis.nthropy, quit complaint, quit pitching into your pursuers; be as wiss as, next spring, w.ll be ail tho reindeer of the Adiron- dacas. Bhed your horns. but very many of you who are wronged of the world—aud if in any assembly between bandy Hook, New York, end Holden Date, ban Francisco, it were asked that all tho-u that had been sometimes bally treated should raise both their hands, and tuil response should be made, there would be twice as mmy hands lifted ns per sons present—1 say many of you would declare: "Ue have always done the best w» could and trie i to bo useful, and why we giiOuM become tbo victims of nialigumont, or invalidism, or mishap, is inscrutable.'' U by do you not know that the finer a deer, aud tlie mo.-o elegant its proportions, and the more beautiful its bearing, the more anxious the hunters and the bounds are to capture it! Hod that roebuck a ragged fur and broken hoo's and an obliterated eye and a limping f ait the hunters would have mid: "Pshaw! ou’t let us waste our ammunition on a s clt deer.’’ And the bounds would have given a few sniffs of the track and dartel off m an other direction for better game. But when they we a deer with antlers lifted in mighty challenge to earth and sky, and th i sleek hide looks as if it had been sm ootbed by invisible hands, and the fat side* enclose tho richest pasture that could bo nibbled from the bank of rills so clear they seem to have dropped out of heaven, and tho stumn of its foots dalles the jack-shooting lantern and the rifle, the ho-n, aid the found, that deer they will have if they must needs break the r neck in ihe rapids. So if there were no noble stuff iu your make up, if you were a bifurcated nothing, if you were a forforn failure, you would he allowed to go undisturbed; but the fact that the whole pack is in full cry after you is proof positive that you are splendid game and worth capturing. Therefore, sarcasm draws on you its "finest bead.” Therefore the world goes running for you with its best Maynard breech-loader. Highest compli ment is it to your talent, or your virtue, or your usefulness. Yon will be assailed in proportion to your great achievements. The best and the mightiest being that the world ever saw, had set after him all the hounds, terrestrial and dialiolic, and they lapped his blood alt-r the Cal- vareau massacre. The world paid noth ing to its Redeemer but a bramble and a croes. Many who have done their best to make the world better have ha i such a rough time of it that all their pleasure is in antici- pation of the next world, ani they would express their own feelings in the words of the Baroness of Nairn at the close of her long life: "Would you be young sgslnf So would not i; One tear of memory given; Onward I'll hie; Life's dark wave forded o'er, Ail but at rest on atiore, Say, would you plunge once more, Wuh home to n'gn? d F*** aw,y fro “ hl ” Th* d Mppomted canine swims in a little way hut, defeated, swims out again anil ©ringes with humiliate i yawn at ”?* hit master. And how abashed and ashamed will all yonreaitMy troubles be when you bava dashed into (he river from under the throne of Ood, and tin heights and depths of heaven are between 7 0u n * D ‘, pursuers. We are told In Revelation, !Kd and 15th: "With- oat are don." by which I conclude • wool# kennel of bounds out side the gate of heaven, or, as when a master goes in a door, his dog lies on the steps waiting for him to come out, so the trou let of this life may follow us to the shining door, but they cannot get in. "With out aredoxt!” I have seen dogs, and owned ”®S*> that I would not be chagrined to sea in the heavenly city. Some of tho grand old watch dogs who are tha constabulary o! !, h " h ? mM iu • d, ** r y P 1 ***. end for years have teen the only protection of wife and child; some of the shepherd dogs that drive back the wolves and bark away the flocks from going too near the precipice; and some of the dogs whoso neck and paw Lanl- seer, the painter, has made im mortal, would not find me shut ting them out from the gate of shining P?*r; ®° 1 ®® °/ those 8t. Bernsrd dogs that have lifted perishing traaW*. out of the A'p nesnow; the dog that #cnn Brown, the Scotch essayist, saw ready to spring at the surgeon lest, in removing the cancer, he too much hurt the poor woman whom the dog felt bound to protect; an 1 dogs that we caressed in our chlldhooi days, or that in later time lui I down on th* rug in apparent sympathy when our home* were desolated. 1 say, if some soul entering heaven should happen to leave the gate ajar nnd these faithful creatures should quietly walk in, it would not at all disturb my lieaven. But all those human or brutal IiouikIf that have chased and torn aud lacer ated tho world: yea, all that now bite or worry or tear to pieces, shall be prohibited "Without are dogs!” Noplace there for harsh cribcs or back biters or de- spaders of the reputation of others. Down with you to the kennels of darkness and de spair! The heart has reached tbo eternal water brook®, and tho panting of the long cha e is quieted in still pastures, and “There sha’l be nothing to hurt or destroy in all God's holy mount." Oh, w hen some of you get there it will be like what a fanner tells of when he was push ing his canoe far up North in the winter and amid tho ice-floes, and a hundred sa les, as he thought, from any other human beings. He was startled one day as he heard a stepping on the ice, and lie cocked the rifle ready to meet anything that came near. He found a man, liarcfooted and insane from long exposure, approaching him. Taking him into his canoe and kindling fires to warm him, he restored him and found out where he had lived, and took him to his home, and found all the viilago in great excitement. A hundred men wtres-arching for this lost man, and his family and friends rushed out to moot him; and, as had lieen agreed, at his first appear ance bells were rung, and guns discharged, and banquets spread, and the rescuer loaded with p-eseiits- Well, when some of you step out or this wddemesK. where you have been chilled and torn and sometimes lost amid the icebergs, into the warm greetings of nil the villages of the glorified, and your friends rush out to give you a welcoming kiss, tbo news that there is another saui for ever saved will call the caterer! of heaven to spread the banquet, and the bell men to lay hold of the rope in tho tow er, and w hilo the chalices click at the feast, and the bells clung f rum the towers, it will be a scene so up'iit ng 1 pray God I may bo there to take part in the ce estial merriment And now do you not think the prayer in Solo mon's song, where he compared Christ to a l einrlei r coming down in the night to pasture oa the plains, would make an exquisitely ap propriate peroration to my sermon: "Until the day break and the shadows flee away, be thou like a roe or a young hart upon tha mountains of Beth«»r " THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN 07 THE FRBSS. Loud Trimmings—Sickness In the Family—Willing to be eaay on her father, eto.. etc. Floor Walker in a dry goods store to old man—“ Your wife sent you for dress trimmings, you tay. Do you want it loud! ” Old Man—“Tes, I guess so ; my old woman’s pretty deaf.” Floor Walker (to clerk)-“Barton, show him the bugle trimming.” Sickness In tho Family. Physician—“Now, madam, this mix ture is for your daughter, Flossie, to be taken internally, and this one for the little dog, to be outwardly applied. Don’t get the two confounded, the re sult might be serious.” Madam—“No, indeed I won’t, poor dear little follow.”—Siftings. 'Willing to tie Easy on Her Father. “When you ask for my daughter, young man,” said fheyoung lady's father, “do you know you are asking a great sacrifice of me?" “N-not necessarily, sir," responded Mr. Hankinsnn, somewhat embarra'ised, but anxious to reassure the old man. “Mamie says she doesn’t care for an ex pend ve wedding."—Chicago Tribune. “w* do not nstkdly do these things up exactly iu that stylo Better stick to your housework.” His photo hung ti’o high to suit him. He Was Ca ntiona. “Would you like to gt) with me to call on a young lady to morrow?” asked 8am Sample of Billy Bliven. “Does the girl lispi" “I don't think she docs.. Whet has that got to do with it” “Well, I don’t know. You see I had some e.x|>erience with & lisp ing girl yes terday evening, and I wouldn't like to go through it again.” “What was the trouble?” “We were talking about home music hat had been performed in the concert (hat we had attended, and 1 remarked that there was a good deal of theme sbout it.” “And what did she say ?” “fttw said: ‘Y’cs, Merchant Traeele'. it themed so.’” - The Wrong Word. He was rescuing her from the billowy waves, but it looked as if they might never sea Boston again. “Hold on tight, Penelope,” he gasped; “hold on tight." "Dont say 'hold on tight,”’ gurgled the girl, with her mouth full of Atlantic Ocean; “say ‘hold on tightly.”’—Utica OU'.rrer. A Fund of Information. Countryman (to the celebrated Hindoo Snake Charmer)—“I s’pose you know a good deal 'bout snakes, mister?” Hindoo Fnake Chatmer—“Snakes, sir, have been the study of my eventful life. I know all about them." Countryman—“The hull business?" Hindoo Snake Charmer—“Yes, sir.” Countryman—“Well, I wish you’d tell a feller where the body leaves oil an’ the tail begins."—New York Sun. A Long Foil Want. “Y’ou think you need a wife, young man, do you?" said Mr. F aiones, as he looked at the agitated youth who was sitting on the edge of a chair and nerv ously twirling a hat, “and my daughter would fill the bill, would she:" “She would, indeed, sir," replied the young man, with a ghastly attempt to appear at ease. “As the men who start newspapers sometimes say in their pros pectuses, she would till a long-went fault—I mean, of course, a weng lont felt—or rather a fong lent wait-no, a wrong font welt—indeed she would, Mr. Ka ones," jrersisted tho bewildered youth, “though I should have said, of course, a feng" “George," interposed Mr. Kajoncs, coming to his relief, “have you said anything to Laura yet?" “No, sir; 1 thought I ought to speak to you first.” “Well, George," said tho young lady’s father, kindly, “take my advice—if you can’t get that prospectus untangled be fore you see her again, you’d better send a more experienced canvasser.Utucagi Tribune. FberiH Grant, of New Y’ork, accord ing to the Courier-Journal, has declared that he would not hold his present office after January 1, for fire times the present value of the position, which is $40,000 per year. The new law requiring exe cutions in New Y’ork to be by electric shock goes into effect on the date named, and Sheriff Grant fears that it might fall to his lot to execute a criminal and that thereby his name might become in some way attached to the new system. How to Help Year Utaesllon. Almost every day we feel the unpleasant sensations of indigestion. Try A i.loockV Porous Plasters and lie relieved. J. F. Davenp >rt, of Canarsie. New York, writes: 1 have been very much tr> ub'.ed with vio lent pain below my cb»t. bone I w as told by several physiclanx that it was rheumatism of the diaphragm. It resulted from cold and ex|Kisure. 1 bad very little ap|ieiite an i di gesied my food with great difficulty. 1 nlace.1 one AtxoOcs's Porous Plaster be low the breast Umo and tw o ou ca< h side. In the course of twenty-four hours nil pain ceased, nnd I wits able to eat nnd dig<wt a 8 ood iquro men I, something I had not done efure m two weeks. 1 got lietter constantly, and at the cud of seven days found myself entirely well. Since then t have used All cock s’Porous Plasters for colds, coughs and pains in my side, nnd I have always found them quick and effective. A rlemdita Laxative. Whoever hog taken H.aMBURG FIGSwill nevertnkennyotherkindoflnxativemcdieine They are pleasant to the taste, and are sure in their action, a few doses curing the niosl obstinate ca*'of consli|)ntion or torpidity ol the liver. cents. Dose one Fig. Mack Drug Co., N. Y. tfapper. It is a splendin aniearan •e th: w’s pencil fails to s .etch, and < n the painter’ • hunter’s lock ot dream on the foot a pillow of Ft, that y of hem Regis is able to picture. When twenty miles from any settlement It cornea down at eventide to the lake’s edge to drink among the lily pod*, and, with its sharp-edged hoof, shatters tho cry-,tal of 1 ong I ake, it is very pietur. aque. But only when, after m les of pursuit, with heaving side* and lolling tongue, and eyes •wimromgin death the stax leap* from the e’ T into Upper Saranac, can yon realize • •' much David had suffered from his tr able*.and how much ho wanted God when ■ axpreasod himself In the words of the text: ‘As the hart panteth nft>r the water m-ooks, panteth my soul after Thee, O God.” Well, now, let all those who have coming Bfler them the lean bounds of poverty, or the black hounds of persecution, or the spotted hounds of vicissitude, < t the pale hounds ot death, or who afre in any wise pursued, fly to the wide, deep, glorious lake of divine solace •ml r. seno. The most of the man and women whom I happen To know,at different times, if not now, have had trouble after them, sharp muzzled troub’fs, swift troubles, all- devouring troubex Many of you have niado tlie mistake of trying to fight them. (Somebody meanly attacked you, •n'l you attacked them; they depreciated you, you depre dated them; or they over reached you in a bargain, nnd you tried, in Wall stroet parlance, to gat a com t on them; Or yon have ha I a bereavement, an I instead of bang submiss ve, you are fighting that bereavement; you charge on the doctors w ho faile I to effect a euro; or you charge oa rare- lessn -ss of the railroad company through which the acckl mt occurred; or you are a chronic invalid, and you fret and Worry and aco’d and ’ woudor why you cannot lie well like others, • M UCT A ItV V I T J VU cee\s •toad of running to the waters of divine con- BnlaGoi. and elaking your thirst and cooling Jour body hn 1 l oulin the good cheer of the Bospsl, and swimming away into mighty Reeps of God's love, you ate fighting a who.s kennel of hn rioro. A few days ago I saw In Ibe Adirondacks a dog ly ing across the road, and hs seemed un able to get up, an l I said to som t hunters near by: "What is tho matter with thatilogi" Tlu-y nnswcrel: ‘‘A doer hart him." And I saw that he had a great swollen paw and a batiored bead, show ing where the antler;stru k b in. Amt the probability is that som > ot you might give a mighty clip to your pursuers, you might damage their busi ness, vou m gbt worry them into ill-health, you might hurl them as much as they have hurt you, but, after all, it is not worth while. You only have hurt a hound. Better be «ff for the Upper Baranac, into which tlie mountains of God's eternal Itrcngth look do a n and moor the r shadows As for your physical disorders, Fie- wor;t gryebnine you can take is fretfuIncas,and the Ufst medicine is religi >n. I know people who wero only a litt!e disordered,yct have fretted tii'niseives into complete valetud.narinism, w»ile others put their trust in God and cane up from the very shadow of de&b, and have lived comfortably twenty- flviyears with only one lung. A man with oneilung, but Ooi with him, is better off thar a godless man with two lungs, borne of ku have been for a long time sailing aroiqd Capa Fear when you ought to hav# been tailing around tape Good Hope. Do not Urn back but go ahead. The deer will nwllsh more with its swift feet than with iq homs. I sawwhole chains of lakes in tbs Adiron- dseka, tad from one height you can ses i»“rty, tad there are said to lie over eight hundred in tha great wilderness. Bo near are theyto each other that you- trw«*!»h» piide pMu up and came* —. boat Iiutu *••” to Iwe, the small distance between them f'-r thatWoon being callel • ‘carry.’’ ree'm of God’s word,, M at ~ m k’ub home so i "If yon might, would yon sow Hi Ira-e your wiyT Wander through stormy wlltat Fanil and array.' Night * gloomy esiebe* fled, tP.rning all beaminsred. Uepe s emile around ua shed, Heavenward, away!” s Yes; for some p.-ople in this world there seems no let up. They aro pursuod from youth to manhood, and from manhood into b'd age. Very distinguished are Lord Stafford’* hounds, and gueen Victoria pays eight thousand, five hundred dol'ars per year to her Master of Buckhouuds. But ail of thorn put together do not equal in numlier, or speed, or powar to hunt down, the great kennel of hounds of which Bin and Trouble f.re own* r and master. But wbat is a relief for all those pursuits of trouble, and annoyance, and pain, and be reavement ? My text gives it to you in a word of three letters, but each letter is a char iot if you would triumph, or a throne if you want *o be crowned, or a lake if you would s'ako your thirst-yea, a chain of three letters —U-o-d, the One for whom David longed, and the One whom David found. You might as well meet a stag which, after its sixth mile of running at tlie topmost speed through thicket and gorge, and with the breath of the dogs on its heels, has come in fnll sight of Son on I Ake and tried to cool its projecting and blistered tongue w ith a drop of dew from blade of grass, as to attempt to satisfy an immortal soul, when flying from trouble nnd sin, with anything les; deep, nnd high, and broad, and immense, and infinite, mid eternal than God. His comfort, why it ombossoms all distress. His arm. it wrenches off all bondage. His band, it wipes away all tsars. HU ChrlsUy atonement, it makea u* all right with tbe past, and all right with the future, and all rignt with God, all right with msu and all right forever. Immartine tells us that King Nimrod said to his three sons: "Here are three vases, and one is of clay, another of amber, another of gold. Choose now which you will have.' , The eldest son, bavin; the first choice, chose the vase of go’d, on which was written the word “empire,” nnd when opened it was found to contain human blood. The «'corid son, making the next choice, choeo the vase of amber, inscribed with the word “glory," and when opened it contained the ashes of those who were once called great. The third son took the vase of clay, and opening it, found it empty, but on the bottom of it was inscribed the name of God. King Nimrod asked his courtiers which vase tney thought weighed tbe most Tho avaric ons men of his court said tlie vase of gold. The poets said the one of amber. But tlie wisest men said the empty vase, because one letter of the name of GoJ out weighed a universe. For Him 1 thirst; for His grace I beg; on H * promise I build my all. Without Him I cannot be happy. I have tried the world, and it does Wolf enough ns far a* it goes, but it is too uncertain a world, too evon&scent a world. I am not a prejudiced witness. I have nothing against tnis world. 1 have been one of the most fortunate, or, to use a more Christian word, one of the meat blessed of men, blessed in my parents, blesied iu the place of my nativity, blessed in mv health, blessed in my field of work, blessrd in my natural temperament, blessed in my family, blessed iu my epportunitiea, blessed in a comfortable livelihood, blessed In the hope that mv soul will go to Heaven through the pardoning mercy of Hod, and my tody, untatt it bo lost at sea or cremated in some conflaifration, will lie down in the gar dens of Greenwood among my kindred and friends, some a'ready gone and others to come after me. Life to many has tfecn a disappointment, but to ms it has been a pleasant surprise, and yet I declare that if I did not feel that God was my friend and ever present help, I should be wretched and ter ror struck. But I want more of Him. I have thought over this text and prea'he 1 this sermon to myself until with all the aroused energies of my body, mind and soul, I can cry out: “As the hart panteth after tbe water brooks, so panteth my soul after Thee, O God.” Through Jesus Christ make this God your God and you can withstand anything and everythlnu^tnd that which affrights others will inspire you. As in time of earthquake when nn old Christian woman was asked whether she waa scared, answered: "No, I am glad that 1 have a God who ran shake the world,” or aa in a financial panic, when a Christian merchant was ask# 1 if he did not fear he would break, answered: “Yee, I shall break when the fiftieth Psalm breaks In the fiftieth ▼eree; ‘Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver thee and thou shall glorify Me.’” O Christian men and women, punned of annoyanoea and exasperati; in wi*lp of audit It JMflMR, in the Adiroodneka a j Bismarck’s Weighing Chair. Close by the side of Prince Hismarck’a bath, says the London Figaro, is a weigh ing chair, covered w th red velvet, of the most modern construction, aud the gieat German Minister never fails to “try his wc : ght” at least once a day, or to re cord the result ot his trial i i the small dairy he keeps attached by a string to tho arm of the weighmj chair for the purpose. There was a time when the Prince scaled the somewnat Gargantuan weight of 247 pounds, but “much has happened sjnee then,” as his late friend Lord Lcaconslield once reran kcd. And, among other things, the Prince has taken not to “banting,” hut to a more recent system of dealing with one’s “too, too sol d fie-h.” Thanks to determined per severance in tbe system, the German Chancellor was recently able to announce at the breakfast table, in a tone of tri umph, that he that morning only weighed 11)0 pounds. Europe, which has such a deep interest in Prince Bismarck’s continued life and good health, would do well, if possible, to secure for inform ation a daily return of the weights re corded in the Chancellor’s little diary. Lascmakln]. . Lacemaking by hand as well as by ma chinery is an industry to which a good deal of attention is being paid abroad, as Nottingham manufacturers know totheir cost. Cur present reference, however, is to hand-made lace only. Tho Vene tian lace at the* Italian exhibition is greatly admired, aud some care is exer cised in the production of it. Venice has now a school of lacemacing, and a permanent exhibition of old and new lace ia now united with it. Tbe Queen of Italy is one of tho patrons, and the Italian Government gives it an annual subsidy. Maltese and Irish point are made at Na/arelh, in the Tinncvclly district, South Ind a, and can be ob tained at a price far below English lace. It is suggested that the Indian Govern ment might render spejinl assistance to luce making, and so piovidc domestic employment for Hindoo women. No one who has seen the Irish lace at the ex hibition, moreover, can doubt that there is a newer and better future for it, if tho necessary steps arc but taken to pro mote art trnining and to extend luce- tnaking a* a cottage industry. Tho True Open Sesame. Husband (coming home late from the lodge —“Going to keep me standing out he e iu the cold all night, M’ria? Lentme in!” Wife (with cold metallic voice)—“If you can distinctly articulate the words, ‘cix long, slim, slick, saplings,’ Mr, Swalloxv, I will unlock the door and not otherwise.” Husband (slowly and with labored enunciation)—“I have brought you a beautiful lace dress, M’ria." Door opens immediately. — Chicago Ileral K , An Instructive Fable Two whales seizing a pike, attempted in turn to swallow him, but without success. They finally determined to try him jointly, each taking hold of an end, nnd both shutting their eyes for a grand effort, when a shark darted silently he tween them, biting away the whole body of their prey. Opening the r eyes, they gazed upon one another with much sat isfaction. “I had no id°a he would go down so easily,” said the one. “Nor I,” returned the other; “but how very tasteless a pike is.” Chicago Ahead. It was an old chestnut roasted over on a new pan. There were only six or eight of us in the parlor car, and it was plain to us that the Indy from Chicago and the lady from Boston had n hostile feeling towards each other. I suppose it was because the lady from Chicago had the largest diamond car-rings, or because the lady from Boston had the most fash ionable hat. By and by the Boston lady leaned over and politely inquired: “Are you from the West?” “Y'es’m—Chicago.” “Chicago? Chicago? Seems to me I have heard the name.” “And arc you from the Eaat?” queried Chicago. “Yes’in—Boston.” ( hicago reflected a moment as if tore- fresh her memory, and then rang the bell for the porter. When he came she slowly laid: “To tali, ask the conduct-tah if he has a map. I want to find a plate called Eawston!” And by a non partisan vote of fou; to two it was decided that Chicago was one ahead.—Detroit Free Tres*. Have you a few hours' ora few days’ .s|»are liras occasionally that you would like to turn into moneyf If so then write quickly to,B F.‘Johnson & Co., of Richmond, Va., and they will give you information that will proveto lie money in your pocket. ('onvMillonal “Monon” Keselailons. Whereas, The Monon Route (L. N. A. & 0 Ry. Co.) desires to make it known to tin- world at large that it forms the double con uectiug link of Pullman tourist travel lie tween the winter cities of Florida and tin oimnn-r resorts of the Northwest; and Whereas, Its “rapid transit” system is un uirpamd. ita elegant Pullman Buffet Bleep er and Chair ear service between Cbicagi md Louisville, Indianapolis ru'd Cincinnati ui p uualloit; nnd Whereas. Its rates are as low astheh west: then lie it Hesolmt, That in the event of starting oi a trip it is good policy to consult with E. O. McCormick, Gen I Pass. Agent Monon Route, 185 Dearborn Bt., ( hicago, for full pnrticu lars. (Iu huv event send for a Tourist Guide, enclose 4c. jxietage.) tf afflicted w ith sore eyes use Dr. Thump sou's Eye-water. Druggists sell at'AV. per Isrtth Too Fnnnv for Any Use. C harlie 'dejectedly)—“Say, Tom, I’ve lost my best girl.” Tom—“No? How did it happen?” “Aw, I was altogether too funny for her.” “Too funny? What do you mean?” “Well, you see, she waa crazy to have a pet dog, so I gave her a pug and told her I selected that kind because it m.Vched her nose so perfectly. See? Confound a funny man, anyhow.”— Washin/t n Critie. Unpoeiicalljr Practical. He was reading “The Prisoner oi Chillon” to her. She listened eagerly to the sad story as told in Byron’s magnifi cent verse, and her golden head drooped lower and lower, while she almost wept. At last the story ended nnd she looked up with a sigh and a quivering lip. “What is the matter, Mabel?" asked her lover, tenderly. “Oh, Herbert,” she ex- elaimcd, “tell me why did not the poor man get some one to give bail for him?” —‘Chicago News. He Threw a Boomerang. . “My son. you should tie more care ful in your speech. It is just as easy to be right as to be wrong. And you should be more studious. While you were running about town last night I was burning the midnight oil ” “No, you wasn’t.” “What do you mean?” “I mean that you should be more cor rect in your speech, father. Y’ou were burning gas. not oil. It is just as easy to be right.”—Lincoln Journal. V. Hint anVI rov/surai, puiniKna ’ annoyanoea and exasperation#, remember tat thie hunt, whether a still hunt or a hunt i fnll cry, will soon be over. U evor a ready loi A False Hana. Courtney Thorpe is a young English actor who is now in th's country. All the men and at least half the women regard him as too dudish for admiration, but the feminine remainder worship him. They say there is something peculiar and fascinating about his gesture*. Now, 1 have a secret to reveal. 1 ha singularity is confined to his hands—in fact, to on* hand, and that one is wooden. 1 do not mean 4 th»t it is sti lly iuaminate of ex pression. It is literally made of cork. Thorpe’s arm stops at his wrist, and tho missing member has been replaced artificially. The false hand has all th« joints of nature imitated as close at possible, but, of course, it is incapable of spontaneous action. It is neatly gloved always, and its fingers are from time to time deftly re arranged by the genuine hand, —LI Ultrdted Nests, Mr. Johnson’s Broken EiiKajrcment. At the seashore: Chicago Girl—“I declare, it’s too an noying for anything.” Friend—“What is:” ChU ago Girl—“Why, Mr. Johnson, of Boston, asked me to go to the con cert to night.” Friend—“Well, isn’t he going to do it»” Chicago girl—“No, he was so ex tremely foolish as to get in the undertow while we were in the water this morn ing, and they haven't got his body out Yet.—Rochester Jeuiih Ttdinae. TA here tho Quail Belongs. An Austin teacher was instructing his class in natural history: “To what class of birds does the hawk belong?” he asked. “To the birds of prey,” was the re- ply. “And to what class do quail belong F There was a pau-e. The teacher re peated the ouestion: “Where doe* the quail belong?” “On toast .’’yelled out the hungry boy at the foot of the class. An Intrepid Young Shark Fisher. A youngster named George Vreeland, son of a wealthy Jersey City (N. J.) man, captured a man-eating shark, six feet long, in New York Bay, one afternoon recently. He was in a row-boat fishing for eels when ho saw the shark’s fin above the water 200 feet away. H« rowed ashore and secured an old* fashioned harpoon. He only rowed a few feet from the shore when the shark came up close to the boat. He threw the harpoon at it, and the iron stock firmly in its back. The shark dashed at the boat and nearly socceeded in oyer* turning it. Then the shark dived and started off for the Narrows, pulling the boat after it. Vreeland tied the harpoon rope to the bow of the boat and sat back for a ride. Three miles from the Green ville shore the rope slackened, and in % few minutes the shark rose to the sur face, stomach up. He was dead. Vree land towed it ashore. This is the seo- ond shark that ho has captured. He ia fifteen years old.—Timee Democrat. YOU The work of the United Mates Fish Comm ssioners is appreciated. Begin ning in 1868 with one hatchery and $1000 appropriation, they now have five hatcheries and an annual appropriation of about $15,000. arc hustling around for your share of the world’s good gifts, and it’s hard work : think of something else. This constant work will tell sometime—perhaps it has already—and nervousness, sleeplessness, neuralgic and rheumatic aches and pains arc part of the “ good gifts ” your hustling has won. If you are that way, let us give you a prescription—no charge for the prescription, though it will cost a dollar to have it filled by your drug gist. PAINE’S CELERY COMPOUND 0j. ‘T am weary of living.” moaned poor Mrs. Black, “For I’m fairly worn out with tho a he in my back; My nerves are a chain Of weakness ami pain, And my poor head i* acinng as if it wouM crack.” "Now, don’t be discouraged,"cried good Mr*. White. “IF* never so dark but there’s promise of light; I can tell you, In brief. What will give you relief— Pierce's Favorite Proscription wilt soon set you right.” it is the only remedy for woman’s peruliai weaknesses ard ailments, sold by druggists, under a positive guarantee from the manu facturers, that it will give satisfaction in ev ery case or money will be refunded. Bee guarantee on battle wrapper. Large bottlrs (100 doses) $1. Hix for |5. Fig Use according to directions. All druggists keep it. It will strengthen your nerves, tone up your whole system, and make you bless us for prescribing this great nerve tonic. Be lure to get the genuine, prepared only by WELLS, RICHARDSON SCO.. Burlington, Vt ARB THE OLDEST FAMILY STANDARD. A Purely Vegetable Compound, without mercury or other injurious mineral. Safa and sure always. For sale by all Druggists. Full printed directions for using with each package. Dr. Schenck’s new book on Tho Lungs, Liver and Stomach sent free. Ad dress Dr. J H.Schentk & Son. Philadelphia. WAHKER’SLOO QABre Remedies. — “Sarsapa rilla,” “Cough aud Con sumption Remedy,"— “Hop; and liuchu,”— “Extract,”—“Hair Tou- ic," — Liver Pills,” — “Plasters,” (Porous-Electrical),—“Rose Cream,” for Catanh. They are, like Warner’s “Tippecanoe," the simple, ef fective remedies of the old Lo^ Cabin days. ‘A. td ^LForBilious&LiverCoinplaiD ‘Jtflitiimiii.iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiHiiifiniiiiiiftiiiiini ARB THB OLDEST FAMILY STANDARD. A Purely Vegetable Compound, without mercury or other injurious mineral. Safe and sure always. For sale by all Druggists. Full printed directions for using with each package. Dr. Schenck’s new book on The 1 .ungs, Liver and Stomach sent free. Ad dress Dr. J. H.Schcnck & Son, Philadelnhia. MARVELOUS MEMORY DISCOVERY. • ay bunk learned la one reading. Mind wandering: cnrrd. .... MpruMng without note*. Wholly unlike nrlldclnl nyniemii. Piracy condemned by Supreme Court. Great Inducement" to correspondence cloeneo. ITo"i>ertus, with opinions of Dr. Win. A Ham mond, the world-famed Specialist iu Mind dise*se», Itniiiel Crren leaf Thom noon, thegrost l'•yohol- OKist.J, M. Iluekler, D. D., Editor of tlm I hrU- tiitH Advocate. Klrhnrd Pructor tho Scientist, an I other*, sent post free by PROF. L LOtrlKiTK, in Fifth A To.. Mow Tart. LOOK nOV-T " NKVKK StTCH BAKUA1N BEFORE REPEATING RIFLE *11 Eli New from Factory. We stake our reputation of 47 years on this Rifle, an4 Ifnarantfo it tho biggest olfor over Y«l ft** iimtle. Send tie. in ftlampg for Iltuitrated lOO-puge Descriptive Catalogue, thins, Rifle*, Revolvers, Fishing Tackle. Itlc} cle», Sporting;Goods, Ac. JOHN P. LOVKI.li ARMS CO., tloUou, Muo. N. I). 3« fl»* a ass £**, R Cinch ttirm olive wllk FLIPS I Styner’s Stickf Fty I nn B taa sjJ I PA I KK. Hold by all drain. lets or grocers, or milled, i.sdsrn paid, on receipt LKV, Ml, l*OSl f .1 rent.. T K. RAW • ror, HI lierkuiuu Si cri tl.”A _ - _ . Maiiofue- Ncw t orlc. beware of Fraud, as my name and the price sre damped on the tmitom of all my advertised ihoee s fere leavinx tlie factory, w hich protect the wearer* wrainst hurl) pruvs and inferior ttuod*. If a deale* itfcrs W. J,. Ileiiii Ins shoe* at a redm-ed prioe, 0* says lie has them »11 hunt my name and price stamped •"the bottom, put him down a* a fraud. W.L. DOUGLAS $3 SHOE. F0K GENTLEMEN. The only flae calf V Ream lea. Shoo In the world mode wit hoot tacko or noli.. A* •tyltah and durable as those cooling *5 or #», and having no tacks or nails to wear th. atockln* or hurt the feet, makes them as comfortable aud well luting as a hand sewed ahoe. Boy the best. None kcnuTne un lean stamped oa bottom "W. I* Douglas $3 Shoo, warranted." W. L. DOVHI.A A 94 SHOE, the original nud enly hand sewed welt 44 shoo, which equals custom made shoes costing frem $« to $*. W. Ii. DOUGLAS •M.50 UHOB I* une* celled for hoovy wear. W. L. DOUGLAS |‘J SHOE Is wore hy ail Bora, and U tho boot school tho* In the world. Ail the above ^oods are made tn Congress, Buttot not sold hy your dealer, writ* And Lmcm, nnd -» —— ---- . W..L, DOl’iiJLAM, Biathlon, Mnon, The eighth annual convention of the Catholic Total Abstinence Union was held in Boston last week. The membership of the Union now numbers 55,755, an increaaa of •MX during the past year. Female Fan. The editor said to his wife; “My dear. If you only had a little gumption you could sit down and help me out by writ ing a few funny paragraphs of a miscel laneous character of afternoona when your housework is off your hands. ” “I don’t suppose I have much of what you call ’gumption,’ but there would b« no harm in trying.” Betting herself she dashed off the fdllowing and passed it over to her lord and master . “She decorated her room with bric-a- brac and pictnree and surmounted the whole with her husbandi’photo; then, sitting down in admiration of her work, she exclaimed t ‘Now everything is lovely and the gooee hangs high!”’ “Ahem, my dear,” said the “bem;” Can a Man Nwallow a Canaan ballf Well, ‘ that depptids. ’ He can if hit throat is large enough and the cannon-ball not too large. Tbe question really mems worthy of some consideratien in view of tht sice of some of the pills that are prescribed for suffering humanity. Why not throw them “to the dogs,” an l take Dr Pierce’* Pleasant Purgative Pellets? Pmall, sugar coated, purely vegetable, perfectly harmless in glass, and al way* fresh. Reports just published show that 717,748,- 854 gallons of malt liquor were drank In this country during tbe fiscal year of 1W7, nearly •11 of which was produced in this country. The par capita now raoohea 1 t.W gallons, al- moet eight times what it was in 1 Den’t Yes Knew that you cannot afford to neglect that ca- tarrhf D >n’t you know that it way lead to consumption, to insanity, to death T Don't you know that it can be easily cured ? Don* you know that while the thousand and on nostrum* you have tried have utterly fail* that Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy ia a certa cure? It has stood the test of years, at. there are hundreds of thousands of gratef> men and wunten in all parts of the oountr. who can testify to its efficacy. All drug ««s - Mr*. Mary Carleton, s granddaughter •f Kentucky’^ thrd governor, and daughter of a revolutionary soldier, is aow, at the age of aeventy-seveu, eft ia- m»te of Louisville’s almshouse. A COMMON SENS* oTmao FOT CATARRH, HAYFEYER, C«l<1 i. Asthm*. Bronchitis mii .11 illseue* oTthe HcmI, Thro, .ad Lutar.. IniuTUOtli com bin. tion oi medicM .cieoce Mid cow man wane. Coutlnuous cumtn of oeonlrcd Mr penctr»Un|r, ouH fvlns Mid heMIng. It cure.-W .11 other reeled Ice fall B.4 H.a* mA« Cm* U Fin Bleat... Ton ren be ctjFed while SINT ON r&S5&b W S| 30 DAYS’ TRIAl kind of labor. IUurfr*t*d mob showing origin of .ad bow to cure Ml dtae.w» of th* Hoed. Throat.lid Lung* eeht rsts upon receipt of < cent gfjunp. Common Sense Caro Co., S State 8t„ Chicago. IU. ely’s Catarrh CREAM BALM! Oleansesthe Nasal J Passages, AUayrl P.vin and Infiain-I mation, Urals thc| Bores, B tstoros the Sanies of T ate an l| BnioM. TRY THE CURE. A p«r*td* I. ur'llolf otu each a wtril »n i i lOtCunj ie'ermr j Atf-frese Gr**tY7f«t«Tn^ /Vied LUd. ova Work*,Pltttb .1 to *33 ; Vlob-rt Kills* SAM to**, i*”"* wri.tC .imuIs* Kevolrer. hr mail to .nr P^Ch Addre* Jo® rUFiUSSIT WttSTXB* OCX WOKILH. nmbarg. fw. “OSGOOD” 0. B. SUsiAfi ICSlM. , Sent cm trial. Frelgh* paid. Fully Warranted. 3 TON $35. Other tire; proportiow- ttclv low. Agemt well paid. Iflutlratcd Catalo*u* ftve. Mention lhi* Paper. 0<5(j00i>' ■"TTCVPSOU. Eisahaatea. M. r $100 to $300 Agcau prefsrrwl who can funiMl their ow» and .tv* their whole time to th* bustne** ire moment* row ue profttablv emplovod Mre -w vocancte* tn town; and dtlee| a. F. JOUN S A CO. 1013 Mala SL, Btchraund. Va., DETECTIVES IT anted In every Cotffftf. fthrewr! men to Ml under fnitrtntlMi n oar Heeret Service. Kipffrtevee not atu'—emr?. PnrOonlwM UrWBftB Detective Bun an C«*iiATCAd*.Ci&ehfifttL$_ ureai engfish Bsut aw . Hheumatis fteasdy. rennd, 14 PHIfc If you arenoJ, von t.houKI Join SM** X'i Sol s-id/Minovapolh lliiui. .» A ISC HTI DV. Dooi-kecrinir.LnKlnMieTom*, rUIWC I enn:»ii-h:p, AritbuulK', Miort-h.nd, etc.. BKaagrft O NUM SUIT li*y"”^MiiUrIum B or Boss* lttr.ro Iteii. $5 Brewster Safely Rein Holder Co^ Holly. Ntcti m u*, at haw. re* »re. w—•: WOTW.J W* a. Wre ,t ..rides .Ire l» '*• "•"* Fl'b" ee; C«w | ;«»»Si llAMr... T.W. * C.-, PKfVS LURE FOR CONSUMPTION orr.-vaOl*. Pri ' iVlaoo el dm r ataiitatal jwlet*: hv mi'l. ELY faltorHEl 61 (vat*. i mv v orlr. WE SELL ALL AMEBISAW BICYCLES. And guarantee LOWEST PRICES , A. \V. GUMP & CO.. Daytee. <K _ ’Larseel retail eteckleAs~ g '• w T. m r ~‘ U la.' “ ■ • HOO, «In. * » " *00, «4 m ” “ " «•<», Order aolek. AUoTOreeo.d-b.iid 1 Ing A 1 OVf Efljy] m H