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ij j win nr? .^eoiTani^g.#iS2gH independent Paper DeToted to thef Interest* of the People n, VOLUME III. ORANGEBURG, SOUTH CAROLINA, THURSDAY, AUGUST; ?' THE DIVER. BT r-EABI. BXVKBS, .IM.O,: h:?llWllood' "T)*n. only. idly fluut, *** As floats the lily-bud r- 111ji wmMmr,*m\<,.. .m?. Deep down in depths of woo IIo yruo wonld Pont V?? llieh pearl of Fofisy. 0 h ' I. * , iQnce found, ?orm> word or line, In nil tlio diver elnRn, Will tell of salt Res-brine Or stormy batUings. Bat slranRo and bappy lot 1 - ?-- v Tbo world, tbat buys end wears Tho diver's p>arl,noes not ? Tis set in tears. A SITUATION. She stood at the crossing of the vil lage Btreefc just us tho shower came down. v It' had been a rainy morning, the drops filtering playfully through the clouds, interspersed with dazzling outbursts of sunshine, but now a pelt ing, mer?ilcs? torrent rushed ehurply downward, gathering vehemonoe from pa3t delay. "And there stool Bessy in the midst of it, one pretty, foot Btretohed doubt fully outward to feol for a stepping stone midst tho torrent that.swept over the orossing. Quito by aooidont, of course, young Brownley,! dawdling at the depot, in doubt whether to take tho noxt train, caught'sight of this vision, as ho drum med with idlo lingers on the gray-green paues Ofv -the waiting-rpom. It was quite^by accident 'also, of course, that in a seoond after this he .was crossing the street a little farther up, armod -with a big umbrella. As Bessy, still doubtful, glanced ruefully about to seo if she could reach tho noorest tree, or had better bravo it out, this stranger, picking hin way through tho mud and wet, stood by her side. " , Now wo all know that i? docs not .do for a woman to overstep conventional limits; sho must keep to tho bars of her gilded t oake, and twittar happily behind them. To allow a gentleman to ?peak to her without an introduction, evYu ,if ho "were on a raft, while she floated by, going politely to the bot tom, .would bo a thing of very doubtful etiquette. But down came the shower, ana there stood Bessy with an umbrel la, Under Borne oiroumstances, it must be. owned, conventionalism makes a poor show beside savageism, and young Br?wnloy, having raoio, or loss of tho savago lingering about him, proffered his umbrella. It was promptly accepted by the girl who had evidently far less regard for the proprieties of life than for her dripping dress. " Oh, door I" she said, M it's com pletely .spoiled, I suppose. This is the second timol have started out to see poor little Tom, and boen stopped by the rain. I hope it won't rain this way every after noon." "I almost hope that.it will," said her companion, glancing at the bright, flushed face boside him. "I always carry an umbrella." Now it mu?t be confessed that this commendable prudence and foresight had sprung up in the young man within the lost ten minutes. But what of that? Reforms must begin at some time, I pre same. I have obsorved that, as a rnle, most heroes of romance are well. provided for. They have a higher sphere of troubles tjian tho mere/ harassment of looking for bread and butter. And right enough it should be so, say I. It is a pity if we can not have a plaoo refuge, between book covers at leasts, where the contemptible common-place of life is not thrust upon us. All hail to the heroes with rioh uncles and old aunts, and good-humored mole-eyed grandmothers, and forth-coming lega cies ! I'm sorry I can't place my hero among them; but he's an intensely overy-day follow, not fit for snob high society. He lnsn t oven a distant rela tive in India with one foot in the grave. The fact is, the yonth had actually come up to Evansville looking for la situation in the big country store of Vandor & ?o.f and what is more, he'd been refused it. But hero, however, with tho incorrigi ble hopefulness of youth, ho walked nlnner beside li??sy. and forgot all about it. He ezpeeted to leave her at some cottage gato near by, and so he did presently. A protty low-teofod Iiouho stood just iu sight; with a row Cf red and white hollyhocks nodding up to its eaves, A scarlet-runner, dripping and shining in tho shower, half hid a little window feeing on tho Inno, wherein a fantastio assemblage of spools, beads, and jars of confectionery looked out with au eye to trade. Tho girl flung optm tljp gate. "Won't you. Come iu?" she Raid. '* Aunt Polly will bo glad to seo you." "No, thank you," said tho young man, staring stupidly after her, as sho disappeared among tho hollyhocks. " Lives there, doeB she?" ho said, contemplating Hie tiny shop-window.'' "I'm too late for the train to-day. Gijcbb I'll eall in to-morrow. Wonder if th6y keep fishing lines ?" The next moruirjg, after lounging about-the village, and trving vainly to got a BcnBe of bis situation, or rather want of ono, young Brownley brushed his ooat with extraordinary earo. ?rNp signs of a ?hpw Jo-doy," hosnid, as no strolled up tho road. " Wonder if I'd bettor take tho train." And with that he turned up the lano toward the littlo shop. A clean old woman, in a wide-frilled cap and wrink led face, pat rocking herself in the doorway. Sho looked ,np as tho gato latch clicked ; n great at purring oat her feet rose sloopily, curling its tail, as tho intrudorentorcd. "Fishing lines?" Tho Tho old worn an not about fumbling, spec tacled search1 among her motley Block, but' none wore to bo found. He could get them up . at Squire Vander's big store in the village. Ah I well, the young man recollected just then that he wanted some thread. He Was often in want of a bit to sow a button on with. Poor young follow I " said Aunt Polly to herself,, commisertingiy;4* boarding, I Huppoao !." Anc? ncorllfis? would he havenoedies? "He obuld'ht get no bet ter than her'n any? where. -No, to bo sure'not. And while the good woman was putting up a parcel sufficient to re store all the qtray buttons in Christen dom, h er customer sat ?. expectant,, wait ing, but not for the paokago; perhaps a trim little figuro might suddenly alight in the room, coming in from, among the hollyhocks, or tripping daintily down the old stairway visible joat beyond. M Did?did your daughter gefe very wot 'he. inquired, very abruptly at last, oonsideling how long ho had been contemplating the querry. "SairyJano? Iliaint seen her to-1 day ; but their h-jusb do leak ??tae, that's'ccftain, which i? bad for Ton^ who's got the whoop?" ... But suddenly the old lady grow en lightened." Her speotacles seemed to en largo t!) ombolves, Tho frill on, hervoap widened out interrogatively... /"Blees my floul !."aho said; "what upon airth am I thinking of, to be sure !_ I do got things a little confused, what with so many inquiring arter Hairy Jane and Tom. And you be the young man that seo her borne with the umbarel ?? Miss Vauder, I moan. Oh, blqss .your heart!! she only stopped hero to ask after Tom, and to get in out of'ttfe~ wet; though sho did match some worsted, I recollect, and what's more, left them behind her when sho hurried off artor tho shower. 'I'd' be oblooged to you, Sir, if you're going that way jo?t let her know thoy're ail safe." Going that way! The young mnu lingered aa he closed the gate, and tho sense r of bis. .poverty.and idleness did como upon him then with a doadly weight." What matter to him, or to any one. .which way ho drifted ! As ho walked down the p?tli among Aunt Polly's nodding hollyhocks, he could have found in bis heart to envy tho old woman her quiet little way-Bide nook, and the undisturbed certainty of her homely existence. So it was Squire Vander's daughter ho had escorted so bravely with' the umbrella 1?Squire Vander, who owned, as Aunt Polly nad told him, " no end of lands in these parts," " What a fool I am to be lingering' about' here 1" thought our friend, as he wandered on; " I'll be off by the noxt train." But then, hadn't he a commission to Miss.Vander, wasn't,he charged vritb a message for her, and wasn't business busi ness? He heard the rosounding whistle of the tram as it swept out of Bight while he still loitered. He passed the squires' big mansion wistfully. What right had ho to look in at the pickets?a poor wandering waif that would shortly be in want of a breakfast? The great fields of waving corn goldened in the sunlight, the orchards on the [dopes hung lustily ripe with fruit, and under the trees h.re and there tho cattlo stood i cooling themselves in the shade, and lazily whisking off the flies; a pretty sun-lighted Bcerie, where probably no comfortable farmer, no hospitable house mistress, would have conceived it possi ble thi t the decently dressed young man strolling idly by was Without a dollar in his pocket or an object in the world. - - Objeot I Oh, well, perhaps not ex actly that. Not if one can translate that gleam in the young man's eyes, as through the treeB that skirt Squire Vander's lawn he catches a glimpse of a pretty figure in fluttering mnslm, sit ting and swaying itself leisurely in' a great swing under the boughs o. a spreading oak ; to and fro, and fro, the airy figure flits, ,the leaf shadows' em broidering her white dress^ and. glints of sunlight spangling h?r braided hair. Should ho venture in ? Ho stood irres olute, and as ho stood the.ro oamp an ir ruption ?f small boys through a side gate?a pack of hungry youngsters just let out of school, "I say, Bessy, is dinner ready ?" they dried. "dome hero and give me a swing, ans wered Besfcy, inconsequontly. As they approached, the boys canght 'flight'.of the watchful, wayworn face, faioo peering through the shrubbery. '* Why,' that's the chap~ was down at tho store after a situation 1" oricd Jack, Jim, and Jerry in chorus* Bessy turned hastily ; sho knew her friend of yesterday in a moment. "Oh, come in ! como in 1" sho cried. ?* I ought to have thanked you fcr your kindness last night." " I just?just mi?sed tho train," said tho traveler, startled but of his self possession, and naturally, under the circumstances, giving uttoranco to tho first fib that suggested itself." " Going away ? Why, don't you find it pleasant here ?" " Very pleasant, but?" "But the hotel end boarding-houses are all full, I suppose." "To tell you tho tiuth," burst but the young .may, won to strongo confi dence by tho frank oyes looking out at him, and speaking out the bitterness of his heart, " It would make very little difference in my case?they'd crowd me out, whether or no, for I'eould'nt pay for a room." Not pay for a room I Bessy's eyes looked up at the broad front of nor fathor's house, whoro door and window stood' open, free and spaoions. So much room and to sparo whilo others wore so straitened. But tho shadow on hor face was quickly turned to a smilo at beholding tho alacrity with which Jack, Jim, and Jerry had monopolized the swing. " Now there's a fellow could givo ns a regular toss all together 1" cried little Jack, his merry black eyes looking out toward the tall figure at the gate* There is no resisting fate, and bet?re he knew it Mr. Br?wnloy was (airly in that sacred inolosurd, the leaf shadows fluttering over Iub tall figure, and over Bessy's arch lace, and over, the rpsy merry bbja\ as they swunff. laughing,* skyward," sent up with a~win,~once, twice, and again. Aud while they were all thus merrily engaged, an elderly gentleman with an lvoiy-headea cane came walking no the path. "Father," said Bossy, soberly, "this 1 is Ithe young gentleman who was so kind to help me. in the rain.yesterday." ?'And such a fellow to lift!" cried Jack*, as he came down from bis ride in tho tree-tops. 1 ' [ "Ah," said the old gentleman, eyeing ! the youth sharply, " Mr. Brownley, whom I saw yesterday, I believe." " He's a regular brick, father I" cried Jack. "Such a swing 1 If- you take him in the store, it '11 be jolly?then we can swing every day 1" . "Ay, ay,", said Mr. Vender, smiling, as his: young people clung about him? ."ay, ay, to be sure; that's all young folks think about nowadays?a jolly - timo 1 Well, well, come in to dinner, Mr. Biownloy, and we'll talk the mat ter over. And so you thought it no harm to try again. Nothing like per severance, my lad !" Mr.. Brownley did not state that he came with a message from Aunt Polly.' Perhaps he forgot to deliver it alto gether. I am not sure. .. But this I can- affirm, that in tho annals of Evonsville it is rolated that the successful Mr, Brownley,. the hon ored and honorablo Mr. Brownley, rose to his present estate from a very hum ble position?a more place behind a counter?and, as. some hint, by first so curing a place in Bessy Yander's heart, which situation, I understand, ho holds to this day^_' A. Singular Adventure. The Evening Star prints a communi cation making tho announcement of the of the supposed existence of a i aoo of Albinos on the Bio Grande, near San la Fe. The paper vouches for the standing and good character of the writer. The communication states that in tho month of July, 18-15, tho writer was traveling east from the Pacific, and' seeking a gap or pass though the moun tains, which would load to t.lm Hin Grande, south of Santa -Fe, he four. {assago which led into their country, t was a canon of thirty miles in length. From the outlet of the canon he travel ed about a mile, when he found three women and two children, their skin as white as snow. Immediately one of the wpmen left the plaoo in haste, and, about sundown, three men came riding rapioly down on the finest horses he ever saw. They, were well mounted aud well armed. They immediately dismounted and disarmed him. They were white men, snoh as are frequently seen in Santa Fe, and some times in California. The next morning early, he was ordered to mount his male; one of the men rode ahead of him, and the two others followed be hind. After riding about twenty miles thuy dismounted, and ordered him to do the same. They had a short confab together, and he was ordered to mount his mule. They then gave him all his arms and traps, with the understanding that he was to make good time ont of tho canon, and continue going in that direction without looking back. From that point he traveled thirty miles be fore he reached an Indian village. It was that of a tribe of Oemanehes. When he told the ohief, by signs, that he came ont of those mountains, he was afraid of him. He said that they were the abode of the evil spirit, and that no Indian'that went into those mountains ever returned from them. He describes the country as circular, surrounded by steep and nigh mountains, covered with snow, without a break or pass.?Chi cago Times._ A Trunk Which Gets 'Em. Saturday morning thero came over tho Great Western road, on its way west, a trunk which made tho hair of the baggage-master stand right up. Is was thirty-fonr inches long, three feet wide, and was made of solid boiler-iron, an eighth of an inch thick. The handles were of iron, rivitcd on with great bolts, and the lid fastened down with an im mense padlock. On one end of the trunk was painted the words : "She can stand it I" and on tho other: "Moro coming !" Tho railroad men groaned aloud as thoy walked around "them trunk " and viowed it from every angle, and two ominous men, who thought the owner was going to stop over, made tracks out of tho dopot.?Detroit Free Press. ?A few days Binco, at tho Royal Ital ian Opera, Oovent Garden, in London, at the end of tho opera, when amid a hurricane cf applause, Mile Albani, tho Albany prima donna, was called before the curtain, a gentleman in the grand tier threw a bouquet and a box at the Im donna, the latter of whioh un luckily etruek her with considerable force in tho centre of the forehead. Tho author of this calamity was observ ed to throw up his arms with a gesture of despair when ho saw the lady plaoe her hands on her forehead and instantly retire to her private room, where Borne simple remedies were applied with good effect. Perhaps it should bo added that tho restoration was a little assisted by tho d'soovory that the guilty box wlion oponed contained a tiara of splen did diamonds. JO A.QUIN ABROAD. Tho Uonm !at; Poet ot the Slenrna on the Apnlcm Way. JoaqufjjHpller has an nrticlo in last week's Independent ph a drive on the Appian tfflgr. It ta written in an eccen tric, off-hand manner, and is very char acteristic. Wo givo some extracts be "When&njtn from the far, far West, from tho 'mdor work1; ?a ?t.were, makes his way'a^onnd tho globe and comes first upon tho footprints of the apostles, he is thriiled by a sorb of awe that not h ing clso c^-a produce. He feols uorne how that ho has come npon tho confines of anothj^rprld, a better world, and a fairer ori?, and he, for the day at least, is a better man for tho fact. "Yon get tired of Borne in a month or two, JtBtoite of yourself?mine and galleries, . towers aud churches (365 cnurohesVif there had been more days in tho yearrthoro would have been more ehnronetfpa Borne)?and you want to get outside the great brick walls some where anxt Bit down and rost. You arej a sort of raaoohdb, that has at last ewal lowed an Ox, and yon want to steal away and lio d?wn and digest it; "I had; kept tho Appian Way as some thing snored, a sort of dessert to be taken when all else had palled and grown dull. " Tho road by which Saint Paul first entered lio me, and by whioh the Cath olic tradition Bays Saint Peter attempted to cschpo. eruoifixfon in the Eternal Oity, still-lay under tho mantle of im agination, and now, at last, when deter mined to Ic.'wo Borne for a littio rest, my chum and I?my chum for a day, a sour, one -eyed old ruffian; a reformed or pcrhnp.i' unreformcd pirato; a man whom I had met in Homo, and melted into and liked because ho was so hated by ail ot hers, and was very homely and plain with his big forked teeth and hol low-oyen?well, tins man and I had res olved to take a'carriage and drive alpng the Appian Way,'to tho first railway sta tion on our way to Naples. "We-jwero cheerful over tho prospect of doing a Gypsy business, tumbling ovor grassy tombs of tho Ctosaro, piok ing up a few skulls by the way, and abovo nil seeing this road?the road- of all the roads that lead to Borne?and so talked cheerily over the mattor at break fast. "The Appian Way is dreadfully dis appointing. It is not more than twenty or swenty-llvo feet wide, and there is not a shade tree to be seen along the i. lif! ijt-ont n/alla, tkafc .) gardens and the peasants at their labor; and but for the interesting relics which composo these walls in part yen would find but little to amuse you. "These walls in many places have been repaired, or were originally built of broken marble plundered from heaven knows what ruined city or plaoe, for these Romans seem to have had no re spect whatever for antiquity. The great St. Peter's ohnroh, foi example, is ailt for the most part, out of stones taken from their most pictures quo ruins. " You will notice a broken arm reach ing helplessly out of this wall on the Appian Way in one place, as you pass, ana in another yon will see a pretty duster of flowers. A port of a giant serpent is also to be seen, along with a hundred other like fragments of art, where the storms of time have laid bare tbd rough masonary of the wall. "Latterly, however, these gentle Romans have come to preserve all these things and stick them up in the stucco walh of the houses all along the roads. This, of course, soils the effect, and you take less interest in tho broken marbles when you find they are posted up for exhibition. " Gapuchin monks, in brown gowns and sandals, go by, indolent-looking and filthy, though they are said to be about the best cf their kind and very attentive to the sick in times of the plague. " Now we meet a family of peasants going into town. They all have loads on their heads, and chat and sing and seem very happy. I have nover yet seen a monk carry any thing heavier than his little basket, wherein to put whatevor may be given him in charity. I may add, however, that that is just one basket more than I have seen any clergy man hero carry. "Virgins and holy families look down [ at us from niches in the walls, and now and then we pass a Madonna, with a burning lamp. " An English party, returning in car i riages, moot us here ; and a lot of parts I bearing fruit and wheat for town ; and we find tho great Appian road so narrow that it is with diffioulty that wo can pass. " Fere is a little churoh to the left, in whioh the guide-book says are the two foot-prints of our Savior in the stone. Wo step in, and find two monks at the door stringing beads. "ThiB is the story of the foot-prints. "St. Peter had been condemned in Borne to lie crucified ; but his heart had failed him, and having met with an op Eortuoity to escape, he was now making is way at night on tho Appiau way towards the sea. But suddenly here, on tho si to of this ohnroh, whioh is built over the old road, so that tho new , road has to pass around it, he came face to face wifch his master. "Peter said : 'Master, whither goest thou?" " ? I go to Rome to be orucifled.* " At this Peter returned to Rome and died at the hands of tho Romans, on the site of St. Peter's church. " The very paving stones of tho old road are still hero and form tho floor of the ohnroh. But the good priest tells us that this is only a copy of the stono in which the feet of the Savior pressed as he spoke to Peter; and wo pass on towards tho church of St, Sebastian, where we hope to boo the original foot prints."_? Religions Frenzy in Lapland. A writer in an English magazine says, in speakicg of servioo in a Lap land church : " It seems that within the last few years a kind of fanaticism has crept in among ILeoo .Lapps, and the word of God, instead of ? pouring oil upon a braised spirit;,' as every one is taught to believe- who will read. tho Scriptures aright, only fills them with imaginary terrors; and, far different from tho creed of tho real Ohr ist inn, they seem to think tho beat atonement they can moke for their.sins lies in out ward show. I have Seen a? little of this in other churches in Sweden, whero nt certain parts'of tho servioo .the women all commenoe groaning and sobbing so. loud that you can scarcely hear tho clergyman. This, however, soon nasses, off, and is scarcely worth notice. Theso Lapps', however, must have been far more snsoeptiblo, or for more wicked, for all at once, when the communion, services began, two or throe women sprang np in different parts of 'the church, and commenced | frantically jumping, howling, shrieking and dap ping their bands. I observed ono mid dle-aged female >partionlarly energetic; and who sank down in a kind of fit after about five minute's exertion. The in fection soon spread, and, in a few min utes, two-thirds of the -congregation * joinod in tho ory,' and all order was at I an end. Five or six would cluster round one individual, bugging, kissing, .weeping an-1 shrieking, till I really thought semo ono would be smothered. One old patriarch in particular, who sat close behind me, seemed an object of peculiar veneration, and the* Lapps' crowded from all parts of the churc? to hug him. How ho stood it I cannot imagine, but ho sat meekly enough, and at one time I counted no less than seven 'miserable sinners' hanging about the old man, all shrieking and weeping. Tho roligions orgies of the wild aborigines .in Australia round their campfire ore not half so frightful as this scene, for they at least do not desecrato a place of worship with their mad carousals." Royal Magnificence. So passed tho famous Marlborough House fancy boll of 1874, until that happened which happens at every bajl. ???Ii people began to get hungry, oil spite of - oil mo. omunemeut, \trJvxor them.. Then, at half past 12 o'clock, their.royal highnesses led tho way (tho blind "Duke of Mecklenburg taking in the Princess of Wales) into the upper tents which wero pitched in the garden, and reached from the ball-room windows by a descent of a few steps. There were two tents,-a long marquee with ta bles accommodating between two and three hundred people, and a smaller one with a buffet. The supper was a bril liant scene ; for, besides the feast itself and the gorgeous throng whioh partook of it, the tents were finely decorated. Figures of men in armor and rich tapestry were set and hung all along the walls of the larger marquee. This was splendid, but the smaller, and still large, tent of the buffet was ex quisite. Here all was Bcarlet. The walls were hung with scarlet velvet In dian carpets, wedding presents to their royal highness frr m an Indian princess, embroidered in the centre with gold and precious stones in tho Indian man ner. On the tables were scarlet gera niums, scarlet geraniums hung in bas kets from the roof; the servants wore scarlet liveries. The vista along these tents thronged with such a gay and gal lant company moro than five hundred strong, was very splendid. Snpper done,there wasdancing till daylight came and after; till at last the end came, and the ball, which we bavo endeavored to prevent from going the way of all balls, was over. Tho art and taste which went to perfect all its arrangements deserve indeed a better fate than to be forgotten. The pride of onr people requires that there should bo a well-ordered magnifi cence in the lives of their princes, and certainly His Royal Highness, tho Prince of Wales, proved himself lost night well descended from kings whose courts have never been wanting in splendor."_. . Spurgeon's Advice. "You ministers who have got to bo fine and intellectual, clear your throats and proach Jesus Christ; pull the vel vet out of your mouths, yo gentlemen who use fine words, and speak so that tho people can understand you; and mind Christ, and Christ crucified. Ye Methodists who are gotting to be very respectable, get to be as red hot as Methodists used to be; yo Independents, be like the old Puritans ; and ye Bap tists, who seem to bo damped with cold water, or worn out, pray the Lord to baptize you with fire, and that will bo the very best tiling that oan happen to yon. Look at your ohapels, half full; your congregations, half asleep ; your preacher, Often reading from his book, and not preaching at all; or, when when preach ng, preaching as thongh he wore not awake muoh lower down than his neck; his heart is still asleep, and only his month is talking." ?Cyrus W. Field and Dr. I Hayes, who uro to attend the Iceland celebra tion, have received a commission from ono of the Now York daily newspapers to mnko a thorough examination of the island with reference to its geography, habits of tho pcoplo and other condi tions and information of interest to the scientific world, PACTS AND FANCIES. ?Ifc is said that Brighom Young has -, mndb his will, and given his friends ten ohildren eaoh. ?San Franaieco rejoices over tho fact that many Chinamen are departing for their native land.' .. ..... ?The price current of girls for wives in Armenian villages is quoted at from \ 810 to $80, according to age and quality. ??Gwrgiudoctors take onions, melons, 'possums, dogs, shot-guns, etc., in pay-.' mont of their bills and are glad to get them. ?Tho cost of the now government building in Cincinnati,. tho plans of whioh are now being drawn, will bo 03*-'1 600,000. ?A Saratoga belle flirts a. thousand- - dollar fan, but there is supposed to be rest in heaven for those who can't pay above ihrco dollars for bnd: iir ? ?In Virginia City, n malo Indian dressed as a squaw, is frequently seen,. Ho is forced to wear female at tiro asla ' punishment for cowardice. ?They have 44 the Mprning German??? at Dong Branch. Dancing thoro be- , tween ten and eleven o'clock every foio noon, and is continued for two or-three hours. ?AboyatRyo Beneh did.nofc know^j it was loaded, and the result is a one-. Cyed hotel clerk. The boy's father ha-: magnanimously headed a subscription list for tho. one-eyed. ?The other day, whan a Georgia man was being sentenced to execution; he i romarked : ? '.Judge, yer an old boss in a. a ten aero lot, and I rman't hold , any grudge agin ye." ?- M 1 <~ ?The girl who generally writes her name in a straw hat and marries, a; mi 1-1' lionaire through its influence hasn't been heard of this year. Thb million aire wtis probably married beforo tho" hat came out. , . -/tXin ,; >iri^ ?An up country .woman gave birth to four ohildren last week. "When her husband protested sho whimpered out, r" S'nadrach, you know how the bo reaper . I accidents are reducing tho population ; qf- Wisconsin.?Milwaukee Sentinel. , ?A young lady, who has been greatly annoyed by a lot of young simpletons who stop under her window at night to sing "if ever I cease to love," wishes us to say, if they will cease their lool ishness, come in, and talk " business,", they will confer a favor. ?Bismarck's boy is well-nigh as formidable as his iron sire. He has just distinguished himself by making a target of tho abdomen of au infantry offieer of tlio U jrxanri uriuy; ^ii^ nU?w?v - ihg was done in an affair of "honor," and was a natural result of the military . custom, of carrying tho'honor in the Abdomen.?(Kurier'Journal ?This is how it happened down in south-west-Missouri: Ho found a-ropo, and picked it up, And with it walked away; It happened that to t'other end A horao was hitched, thoy eay. They found a troe and tied tho ropo Unto a'swinging limb. It happened that tho other end ' Was somehow bitohod to him. ?Dyspepsia is a national ovil, and is largely due to rapid eating, particularly among "business men" and ' "brain- ? workers." With many persons it is imT possible' for the body to carry en tho work of digestion wbile the brain in also working hard. Tho stomach must have some nerve force with which to perform its duties. A little time for rest beforo ! eating, as well as afterward, is of great importance to many persons. . ?Thomas Moran's last big picture, the " Chasm of tho Colorado," has been' sold to the government for $10.000. . This pioturo is the companion to his " Canon of the Yellowstone," and both pictures will be hung in the alcove of the senate gallery of the Capitol. Mr. Moran is better, known as a designer than a painter, but since he has turned his attention to painting, he has taken a high position. He is vary successful as a delineator of landscapes. ?While taking a walk in Vienna re cently, the Princess Pauline de Metter nich was caught in a shower. A young gentleman hastened np to her end offer ed her the protection of his umbrella. "Madam?" "Well, I declare, you Vienna men are impertinent!" " Mad; am, from lips beautiful as yours, even such wordB don't offend lr* Thoy don't? Well, then, you mustbo about as sensitive as a spittoon;" saying which sho turned and entered a cab. ?A Sunday-school teacher wishing his pupil to have a dear idea of faith, illustrated thus : " Here is an apple you soe it and therefore know that - it is there ; but when I place it under. this ten-cup you have faith that it m there, though you no longer see it." The lads seemed to understand per feotly ; and the next time tho teacho asked them, " What is faith ?" they an swered with ono accord, " An appio un der a tea-cup." ?Exactly the opposite idea was in culcated recently by. Dr., Wordsworth, Bishop of London, who preaphefl a ser mon in Westminster Abbey on the sub ject of oremation. He could not con ceive of any thing more barbarous and unnatural, and ono of the first-fruits of its adoption would be to undermine the faith of mankind in the resurrection of the body, and ?o bring about a most disastrous social revolution, the end of whioh it was not. easy to foretell, Thero was no conceivable ground on whioh the custom of burning tho body could* bo defended, and were it to be intro-. duced among civilized nations, it would confirm and increase tho wide-spread licentiousness and immorality which now prevail in all tho great capitals of tho world.