The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, March 28, 1952, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. G
CLASSIFIED
DEPARTMENT
AGENTS
HoirtfteWIVES, cfftce and factory wor£
erg, nurses and others wanted to sell
spare time, a new Face and Hand Lotion
that Is absolutely guaranteed to sell. For
details write Charmell Cosmetics Co.,
S8e Jackson Avenue, Memphis, Tean.
ADVERTISING—Earn money seeing cal-
endars and specialties to high type busi
ness organizations. Full or part time.
Samples supplied by well rated company.
Write Dept. Wl, Liberty Advertising Com-
pany, Swarthmore, Pa.
AUTOS, TRUCKS & ACCESS.
WHITEWALL Tires: Surplus! New 1st
quality Dunlop Gold Cup in wrappers.
Not recaps, etc. Less than list. RAMSAY
RACING TEAM. 1210 E. 65th. CHICAGO
15, ILLINOIS.
DODGE—1960 ten wheeler, sleeper, 2 1 &
tons. Straight air, horns, 20 ft. reefer,
stick, band control, good rubber and
shape. George Denman, Box 21, DeBary,
Fla, ganford 1720 J S
BUSINESS A INVEST. OPPOR.
DRIVE-IN equipment. Complete booth
equiWuent. including Simplex projectors,
RCA sound. Suitable for small drive-in.
Also 3,000 feet No. 14-2 underground
rabie. brand-new. Write F.O. Box C,
Crawford, Ga.
RESTAURANT, Grade *‘A ,, , acre land,
(our room apartment, bath, five miles
south Lexington, N. C. Highway 29 and
79. Write Pine Terrace Restarant, Route
I, Liaweod, N.C.
DOGS, CATS, PETS, ETC.
BOSTON TERRIERS — Stud Service.
Breeding stock. Puppies. Closed Sundays.
MRS. HARRY HOBBS
Mooresville, N.C.
HELP WANTED — MEN
CLOTHING SALESMEN
Sell direct. Summer suits $21.50 up. Com
missions dally—bonus. $150.00 weekly.
Free samples. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Write today—give experience. National
Clothing Company, 322 Healey Botlding,
Dept. 5, Atlanta, Ga.
HELP WANTED—WOME1.
WANTED: Registered Nurses. Full main-
tenance. New nospital and nurses home.
Salaries above
HOSPITAL. Siler City
average. CHATHAM
. North Carolina.
HELP WANTED—MEN, WOMEN
TEACHERS Wanted Immediately. Home
Ec.. Comm., Bapd, Music, Girls PE.
Library, English, Latin, Spanish, Lower
Grades, Journalism, Science. Teachers
Exchange, Boulder, Colo.
LIVESTOCK
REGISTERED Hampshire
Championship blood fines. — —
buyer’s name. Few grown hogs. Jehu P.
Measures, Cltrenelle, Alabama.
ipshire Pigs, from
fines. Registered in
PERSONAL
IMPORTED Swiss pocket alarm watch.
7 jewels, precision made. Remember
your ap
Guarant
Distributors,
re la, precision made. Remember*
appointments, wakes you on tim<
nteed, $8.90 postpaid, w. B. Harris
tutors, Benson, Arixona.
POULTRY, CHICKS A EQUIP.
FOR SALE—Day-old gooslings, shipped
anywhere. Write for prices.
Jon-Ba Goo scry, Box 106, Congervllle. HI.
PRODUCTION red baby chicks that make
real layers. Production red cockerels.
$9 per hundred. Ga.-U.S. pullorum clean.
Smitty’s Poultry Farm and Hatehery, 419
Main St., Clarkston, Ga.
MISCELLANEOUS
YELLOW Locust Fence Posts. La&t 50
years or longer. Special prices on trailer
loads. Any amount. Ted Davis, Kinards,
South Carolina.
UNWANTED HAIB
Permanently eradicated from any part of
the body with “Saca-Pelo,” the remark
able discovery of the age. Saca-Pelo
contains no drug or chemical and will kill
hair root.
LOR-BEER LABORATORIES
679 GRANVILLE ST.
VANCOUVER, B.C.
DELCO, IK Nassau St.. New York 38.
BUILD an Earthworm business at home
In spars time. One unit of Domesticated
Earthworms multiplies In year to over
1000 units. Small Investment, big dollar
profits, rapid turnover. Write lor free
booklet. Cherokee Wormery, 17 Peaehtree
Way, Atlanta, Ga.
REAL ESTATE—BUS. PROP.
MELBOURNE business corner 60'xl43'
interlocking tile building, approximately
BO'xOO'. Price $34,500. cash. Additional
lot ST'xlSO', $15,000. Write Miss A. Ditch-
Neld, Melbourne, Flu.
Buy U.S. Defense Bonds!
St.Joseph
ASPIRIN
'gumNTHD
Removes
RUST — STAINS
BATHTUBS, SINKS,
Till, METALS, IAN6IS
AT •KOCiir, HAROWAtf,
DIPT. 10c STOKIS
RH SAMPU
y b w r e o o y o r i
]
| mouw rtpoom. isc, 140 l hi si., n. t. si
TO KILL
APHIDS
One ounce makes 6 gallons
of spray. Kills aphids and
similar sucking insects by
contact and fumes. Spares
friendly insects. Leaves no
harmful residue. Can be
mixed with other standard
sprays. Proved dependable
by 39 years of use on fruits,
vegetables and flowers.
Tobacco By-Products A Chemical
Corporation • Richmond, Virginia
WNU—7
13—52
SALES OPPORTUNITY
MALE or FEMALE
Energetle men and women wanted
pick up extra money selling part time.
We have a fast-selling petroleum
product. All gas stations, car dealers
and retail stores are prospects. Go
ing. over big. Get on the band wagon
and make some real money on the
side! WRITE
BELL LABORATORY, INC.
P.O. Bex 1000
Orlande, Florida
VIRGIL
By Len Kleit
SUNNYSIDE
by Clark S. 'Haai
RIMIN' TIME
Ooe Shrink, a timid fuddy-
duddy,
Writes he-man NovEisjiouoH
AND BLOODY-
By POSEN
Writes urns children's
FAIRY TALES.
BESSIE
By NICK P£NN
MUTT AND JEFF
HO I DON'T INOBODV WANTS TO RENT
^ ghosts/Von sleep in it
TONIGHT/
By Bud Fisher
JEFF/ V IVE \|
WHERE HAVE f BEEN
YOU BEEN FOR COMING
THE LAST \ BACK/
THREE DAYS?,
JITTER
By Arthur Pointer
WYLDE AND WOOLY
ESP
By Bert Thomas
'How's the house cleaning coming along. Dear?"
But he's a NEW bo» friend. Dad I Why CANT you
pretend to be tne butler just this once?*
TRUE PATRIOT
There was much excitement In
die local general store, for it had
been rumored that Jeremiah, the
proprietor, had received an offitial
letter from Washington. The towns
folk dropped in, one by one, and
waited to hear a report, but none
seemed forthcoming. Finally, un
able to contain his curiosity longer,
one citizen spoke up, ’Say, Jere
miah, they tell us you got a right
important letter today—direct from
Washington. What's it about?” ‘Td
sure like to tell you, but I’m danged
if I know meself. That thar enve
lope had a big stamp right on top
"Return to Sender after Five Days”
and naturally, bein' it’s official, I
got to follow orders.”
Changes Made
This is what Smith dictated to
his blonde steno: “In conformity
with our recent conversation we
have booked you today for 100
drums of linseed oil”
And this is what she wrote: “In
conformity with our receql conver
sation, we have hooked you today
for 100 drums of linseed off.”
Smith now has a brunette stenog
rapher.
Candid Comment
The fear that India, with its 345
millions and an expanding birth
rate, may some day rule the world
is groundless. Wait until they find
out about the automobile. That's a
device that’s guaranteed to keep
down the population of any country.
ALWAYS HAPPENS
Strolling through the card room
of a businessmen’s club, a member
was surprised to see three men and
a dog playing poker. Pausing to
watch, he commented on the ex
traordinary performance of the dog.
“He’s not so smart,” the dog’s
owner said in digust. “Every time
he gets a good hand he wags his
tail.”
Lew Down
Pausing beside the Swedish maid
In the hall of the New Orleans
hotel, the house detective said out
of the side of his mouth, “Know
anything about the sporty-looking
old gent in 416?”
“Aye tank he owns a plantation, *
she answered.
“What’ makes’ you think so?”
queried the dick.
“Veil,” she replied, “ven I vas
dustin’ by bis door, I heard him say,
•Let’s have anodder drink, den go
out and raise cane sugar.’ ”
SOME FEAT
Mrs. Whoozit: “Doctor, I wish you
would see my husband r be blows
smoke rings from his nose, and I’m
terribly frightened.”
Psychiitrist: “Well, that’s a bit
unusual that he blows them from
his nose, but nothing to be alarmed
about. Many smokers blow smoke
rings by the hour.”
Mrs. Whoozit: “I know, Doctor,
but my husband doesn’t smoke.”
Not So Funny!
Mrs. Lawton found little Willy
sobbing in the basement of the
house. “Why, Willy, whatever is
the matter?” she asked. “The ham
mer fell on Daddy’s foot,” said
Willy, between sobs, and then be
gan to cry even more. “But, Willy
dear, that nothing to cry about,”
said his mother. “I didn’t think so
either,” said Willy, “and I didn’t
cry—I laughed.”
TROUBLE AHEAD
“I Just got out of prison this
morning,” a traveler told a man
on the train. “It’s going to be
tough facing old friends.”
“I can sympathise with you,”
said the other, “Pm Just getting
home from Congress.”
WHO ELSE '
A man sitting at his window one
evening casually called to his wife:
“There goes that .woman Charley
Smith is so terribly in love with.”
His wife, in the kitchen, dropped
a plate she was drying, ran through
the door, knocked over a lamp,
and looked out the window.
.“Where, where?” she cried.
“There,” he said, “that woman in
the gabardine suit, on the comer.”
“You idiot,” she hissed, “that’s
his wife.”
“Yes, of course,” he replied.
Smart Cookie!
“I know the kind of man you’re
looking for,” George complained
to his dream boat, Millie. “If I
were only rich you’d accept me
fast enough.”
Millie smiled.
“You know, George,” shj re
marked. "that’s the nicest compli
ment I have ever received. It’s
most flattering.”
“Flattering that you’re a gold-
digger?”
“Exactly,” the girl replied. “All
the other fellows tell me how beau
tiful, how graceful, how charming
I am. But you’re the first one to
give me credit for having common
sense.”
In a Hurry
A young man barged into a mini
ster’s home, a lovely young lady in
tow, and exclaimed, “We want to
get married. I beg you to make the
ceremony as short as possible.
Here are the credentials. They’re in
order. Those two ladies knitting
over there will do as witnesses.”
The Minister, amused, performed
the ritual, pocketed his fee and
then protested, “Remember the
old adage about marrying in
haste, my children. What’s your
hurry?”
The young man, already half
way to the door, said over his
shoulder, ••We’re double parked!”
CAUSE FOB HAPPINESS
A Kansas cyclone hit a farm house
just before dawn one morning. It
lifted the roof off, picked up the
bed on which the farmer and his
wife slept and set it down gently
In the back 40.
The wife was crying softly, “Don’t
be scared, Mary,” her husband said,
“we’re not hurt.”
Mary continued to cry. ‘Tm not
scared,” she responded between
sobs. “I’m Just happy ’cause this
is the first time in 14 years we’ve
been out together.”
7 —
% Maybe True
“Papa, what is a low-brow?”
“A low-brow, my son, is a person
who likes the funny papers, snappy
stories^ girl shows, and the like, and
doesn’t mind saying so.”
“And what is a high-brow, papa?”
“A high-brow, my son, is a low
brow who won’t admit it.”
Notation
Inscription, in big block letters
and red ink, discovered by a Latin
professor in the inside cover of his
most troublesome student’s text
book:
“In case of fire, be sure to throw
this book in.”
SAD RESULTS
A little girl was watching her
mother spread cold cream on her
face.
“What’s it for, mummy?” asked
the tot.
“That’s ^ to make me beautiful,
darling,” replied her mother.
She watched her mother remove
the cream, and then in a tone of
sadness, whispered, “It didn't work
did it?”
NEW VERSION
“So you and your wife have
been fighting again, have yon,
O’Malley?”, asked the Judge.
“Liquor?”
“No your honor,” replied
O’Malley. “She won this tfmo.’*
Not Trusted
Jeanne, aged four, was fishing
with her father, who was wearing
his fishing license on the back of
his hat Not having a great deal of
luck, Jeanne offered the following
suggestion: “Daddy, turn your hat
around so the fish can tee your
license.”
SES
Chairs, Table Are
Simple Home Projects
T HESE comfortable, light and
graceful chairs and the folding
table are simple projects for the
home carpenter. Pattern 34B foi
chairs and 349 for the table givo
actual-size cutting guides. Pattern
229 shows every step for making
cement flagstones. Patterns are
25c Gcich
WORKSHOP PATTERN SERVICE
Drawer 10
Bedford Hills, New York
uh i
Convenient
Why did you cut the sleeve out
of your overcoat?
So I could put it on without tak
ing my books out of my hand.
Too Weak
Hole-proof hose don’t wear well<
I think they do.
I mean, they don’t seem to
stand up.
Maybe you don’t wear them
long jenough.
Drinker's Lament
You put in whisky to make it
strong; water to make it weak;
i.emon tp make it sour and sugar
j make it sweet. It makes me
jockeyed to think of it.
One More—Poof!
Have a cocktail—have. a Cue*
jer’s Last Stand? •1,
What is that? /
One more and you'll fall.
A SOOTHIHG DRESSING
nmrati
aisei.
THE ANSWER TO OXFORD'S I
Pilgrim Bible qpiz |
8. Jothui and hi* awn wen com?
manded by the Lord to circle the ritr
once a day for six days and seven
times on the seventh day (set Jssitur,
6:3*20 m the Pilgrim Edition •/ /it#
'Holg Bible).'
Free Yourself
from laxative slavery
Try this delightful family break
fast treat! Eat a generous bowlful
(about % cup) of crisp, toasty
Kellogg’s all-bran with sugar and
cream. Drink plenty of liquids.!
all-bran Is the natural laxative
cereal that may help you back to
youthful regularity* lost because
of lack of bulk In your diet. It’s
the only type ready-to-eat cereal
that supplies all the bulk you
may need. High in cereal protein,
rich In iron, provides essential B
and D vitamins. Not habit-
forming. Why don’t you try it?
Kellogg’s is so sure you’ll like
all-bran that if you’re not com
pletely satisfied niter 10 days,
send empty carton to Kellogg's,
Battle Creek, Mich., and get
*OUBLK TOUR KONST BACK I