Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C VIRGIL SUNNYSIDE b* Cloit S. Hum BOUFORD By MELLORS MUTT AND JEFF By Bud FUlxr WYIDE AND WOOLY - LET'S SEE. I'VE GIVEN'OUR PHONE NUMBER TO EVERYONE IN THE JUNIOR CLASS. NOW WHAT SOPHOMORES DO | KNOW ?" Some Difference “Sam,” said Rastus, who was reading in the newspaper of several fatal accidents, ‘‘if you was to take your choice twixt one or t’other which would you rather be in, a collision or an explosion?” 4 ‘A collision,” Sam answered. “How come?” Rastus asked. “Why man alive,” said Sam, “ef’n you’s in a collision, thah you is, but ef’n you’s in an explosion, whar is you?” GOTTA MAKE EXPENSES A couple of farm boys brought a load of watermelons to town to ped dle from door to door. At the first house a good looking girl answered the door. She asked the price of the melons and was told they were 75 cents each. “You wouldn’t charge ME 75 cents, would you?" asked the girl, looking at them with liquid eyes and turning on all her charm. ‘‘Listen, lady,” said the boy, ‘‘yes terday we gave away a whole load of peaches, and we just gotta sell these watermelons.” Geyser This highly appropriate sign is found hanging on the wall over one of those too-generous drink ing fountains: Old Faceful—Handle With Care. School for Rhubarb Beulah: Donnie, you wanna gel an education, don’t you? l)onnie: I don’t need one. Tm gonna be a baseball player. Beulah: You still need an educa tion. A large vocabulary comes in mighty handy when you’re arguing with an umpire. We*d Rather Shakespeare Bookworm—“Do you enjoy Kip ling?" > Giddy Girl — “I don’t know. Where do you kipple?” NO WASTED MOTION Hour after hour the would-be vio linist would bow on one string, al ways holding his finger in the same place. His neighbor endured it as long as he could and when his shat tered nerves began to give way, he called on the obnoxious self-styled fiddler. “I notice when other people play the violin,” he commented acidly, “they utilize four strings, and the players move their fingers about continuously.” The musician halted briefly^and his face took on a sage look. “Ah, yes," he replied, “it’s true that oth er musicians use all four strings and move their fingers over them constantly. But that’s because they are looking for a certain place. You see, I’ve found it.” Some Heat Boy, it’s hot down here in Nash ville, Tenn. This is mild. I once visited where it was so hot that I saw a dog chas ing a cat—and they were both walk ing. Apt Definition “The Upper Crust” is sometimes made up of a lot of crumbs held to gether by their own dough. Alternatives Father: Now I want an explana tion and I want the truth. Dexter: Which do you want? You can’t have both. Sobriety Test Judge: “How do you know he was drunk?" Officer: ‘‘Well, he shook the clothes tree and then started to feel around the floor for some apples.” ' Pleasant Dreams Mrs. A: “Does your husband talk in his sleep?” Mrs. B: “No, and it’s so exasper* atiiistf He just Iff Ins.” Neat Spool Shelves Display Art Objects Shelves for Collectors WfHETHER you collect china ** kittens, glass hats or Vic torian cornucopias, spools shelves are just the thing to display them. Pattern 255 gives actual • size tracing guides for two types of shelves with complete directions Price of pattern 255 is 25c. WORKSHOP PATTERN SERVICE Drawer 10 Bedferd Hills. New T«rk. The inside of an enameled pot can be whitened by putting a half cup of laundry bleach in it, filling it the rest of the way with water and letting it stand for twenty-four hours. Sore! Throat duo to colds For fine soothing comfort, rub Vicks VapoRub % on your throat and chest.Try it! W VapoRub MANY NEVER SUSPECT CAUSE OF BACKACHES A« we ffet older, streee and strain, orer- exertion. excessive smoking or exposure to cold sometimes slows down kidney fuao- tion. This may. lead many folks to com plain of nagging backache, loss of pep and energy, headaches and dlieinsss. Getting up nights or frequent passages mnyYsshlt from minor bladder irritations duo to eold, dampness or dietary Indiscretions. If your discomforts are due to these causes, don’t wait, try Doan’s Pills, a mild diuretic. Used successfully by millions (or over 50 years. While these symptoms may often otherwise occur, it’s amazing how many times Doan’s gWe happy relief— help the 16 miles of kidney tubes and filters flush out waste. Gat Doan’s Pills Today! Dojuts Pills Yodora checks perspiration odorl^H THE ttoTMWesr WAY Made with a jact cream bate. Yodora is actually toothing to normal skins. No harsh chemicals or irritating salts. Won’t harp skin or clothing. Stay* soft and creamy, never gets grainy. i Try gentle Yodora—fed the wonderful ; difference] s. s v UUulUUIvwu V journeyed from country to coun try with their brushes, palettes, and secretly blended paints. In today’s parlance, a journeyman painter is oqe who has had at least three years’ experience and schooling as an apprentice. Small holes in the bottom of an aluminum pot can be mended at home. Buy some small copper or aluminum rivets, one-sixteenth of an inch in diameter and one-eighth of an inch long. Enlarge the hole so you can force the rivet through from the inside; then rest the head of file rivet on some hard metal surface and tap the other end'with a hammer until it flattens <ftit and tightens up in the hole. WHIN SLEEP WON'T COME AND YOU FEEL6LUM Us* Chewing-Gum Laxative— REMOVES WASIE.-MT GOOD HMD • Wkea you can’t •!««»—deul JUMt awful because you need a laxative — do as millions do — chew raot-a-MOWT. rxxN-A-MZNT is wonderfully different! Doctors say many ether laxatives start their “flushing” action tec ■ooa...rt*ht la the ateazach. Large doses of such lax atives upeet digestion, flush away nour ishing food you need for health and energy you feel weak, worn out. But gentle raa-s-acn**. taken as rec ommended. works chiefly tn the lower bowel where It rensevee ealy waste, net good feed! You avoid that weak, tired feeling. Use vbem-a-mxmt and feel e fie One. full of Ufei 25*. 50*. or only era™ * v* BELIEVE ME, YOU GAN BE SURE WITH CLABBER GIRL The name, “Journeyman Paint er" comes from the painters who, at the time of the Renaissance, it days hadhA jhah Ueaaa I • • • iiui un mini STAYS ON AND Won't come off on Hifhc*, glasses, cigarettes, or teeth. ! Won't come off when yon kiss children, relatives, sweetheart. I Washes off easily with soap & water. > Exciting fashion-right colors. » More economical! Lasts 4 to 5 tunes longer! Only $1 plus tax! Get Basel Bishop's amazing non-smear lipstick at any drug or department store. IF KNOTS ysizr HlAD * c * a Copniskt iMt, W Yho*. h Co.. las. QUICIC! RUB IN ' THE ORIGINAL BAUME ANALGESIQUE f \ - IANNYROSS. I TELLS YOU WHY HE YES, CAMELS ARB SO MUD that In a coest-to-coast test of hundreds of men and women who smoked Camels—and only - « — for 30 days, noted throat specialists, making weekly examinations, reported Not OM single case of throat irritation dno to SMoking