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VIRGIL THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C. By Len KlcU SUNNYSIDE by Clerk S. Hoes c you SAW rr resr. ) THE OLD GAFFER By Clay Hunter WYLDE AND WOOLY By Bert Thomas W\ '*1 CAME NEAR TO GETTING A RAISE TOPAy. PEAR THE FELLOW AT THE NeXT DESK GOT OHE. * * IM JUST PRETENDING IT'S CLAftK GABLE ON THE PHONE. IT'S DRIVING ALVIN CRAZY/" How About Aaron? The circus was doing badly and funds sank lower and lower. At last the cashier pinned up a notice announcing that in future salaries would be paid as funds permitted, and that artists would be paid in the alphabetical order of names. Next day Zero, the strong man, called on the cashier. **I have come,” he said, “to tell you that I have changed my name.” “Oh!” replied the cashier. “And what are you going to call yourself now?” “Achilles.” COP WAS THE DOPE Childen Will Appreciate A Combination Board St.«Jos0plt rfflCILED SALT BOX AND RACK PATTERN BULLETIN BOARD WITH STENCILED BIRDS AND HEARTS PATTERN All-Purpose Bulletin Board r NIOR will like this combina tion bulletin board, and black board. Sis will want one in her room, and One is needed in the kitchen. • • • Pattern 987 telle what to use and how to maka it and gives actual-siza guides Cor making and decorating gay frames. Price of pattern 25c. WORKSHOP PATTERN 8ERVXCR Drawer 18 Bedford Hills, No* York 4’SigiwfttreJ Tiaspooas KELLOGG’S VARIETY PACKAGE O A man, evidently overcome by the effects of too much liquor, was found lying unconscious in a door way the local policeman, who, after considerable difficulty, man aged to get him to the station house. The officer in charge ex amined the man, and then ex claimed “Why this fellow’s been drugged.” “Of course he’s been drugged,” said the policeman, scornfully, “didja expect me to carry him here?” Persecuted Minority Willie Collier, hie comedian, was an irrepressible member of a barn storming combination, which some 20 years ago did the "tank” towns of the middle west. The company had been doing a poor business for several weeks when a certain town in Illinois was reached. Just before the curtain went up that night. Collier was standing at the curtain “peephole,” sizing up the audience. ' “How's the house, Willie?” asked another player. . “Wen,” answered Collier, “there are some out there. But,” he add ed impressively, “we’re still in the majority, old boy, still in the ma jority!” For each dose 1 white-star VABIBTT PACKAGE Slid 764 in Mmb#* *>*••• ••»• ••«••• •••••••••*••••# (pt«as« print)' Watch Tour Step Father: “My boy, do I see you wearing your good shoes?” Son: “Sure, pa. Gee, I can’t wear my old ones on Sunday. Tney’re aU worn out.” Father: “Well, aU I can say Is you’U have to learn to take longer steps. I can’t be buying shoes every year, you know.” NEITHER DID WE “Mother,” asked Willy while at the circus, “was the clown ever a little boy?” “Ob, yes, certainly, dear,” his mother replied. “That’s funny,” said Willy. “I’ve never seen one like him.” Close By ‘Tse wants a ticket for Flor ence.” Ticket Agent (after ten minutes of weary thumbing over railroad guides): “Where is Florence?’ Mammy: “Settin’ over dere on de bench.” WHO WAKES THE ECHO An American and a Scot were walking one day near the foot of one of the Scotch mountains. The Scot, wishing to impress the visitor, produced a famous echo to be heard in that place. When the echo returned dearly after nearly four minutes, the proud Scotsman, turning to the Yankee, exclaimed: “There, mon, ye canna show anything like that in your coun- 1 try.” “Oh, I don’t know,” said the American, “I guess we can bet ter that. Why, in my camp 1b the Rockies, when I go to bed I just lean out the window and call out. Time to get up; wake up!’ and eight hours afterward the echo comes hack and wakes me.”