The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, October 28, 1949, Image 7
MUTT AND JEFF
By Bud Fisher
JITTER
By Arthur Pointer
SUNNYSIDE
by Clark S. Haas
GRANDMA
By Charles Kuhn
A charming southern belle
named Tandie was being courted
by a rather stem young banker.
When queried by a friend about
the prospects of a matrimonial al
liance, Tandie said flatly: “If that
stuffed shirt proposes, I’ll give him
nothing but a deaf ear.”
But less than a week later Tan
die was wearing the young bank
er's diamond. Her friend comment
ed, "I thought you said you’d be
deaf to any proposal from him.”
"Yes, I did,” Tandie admitted,
looking at the great, gorgeous dia
mond in the engagement ring.
“But I didn’t say I’d be stone
deaf.”
IMAGINE!
m p
Officer: "beyl Pull over to the
curb, lady. Do you know you were
doing seventy-five?”
Cute She: “Isn’t it marvelous!
—And I just learned to drive yes
terday.”
/ Technique
If Mrs. Case had stopped to think
she probably wouldn’t have asked
the window cleaner if he preferred
a cup of tea or a glass of beer.
One look at his face should have
been enough to give her the an
swer.
However, he had a very good
reason for choosing beer.
“You see, ma’am,” he ex
plained, “I find that beer always
gives a better polish when I
breathe on the glass.”
Imagine!
“What an evening! What an eve
ning!” sighed the host after the
last guest had left. “We had a
wonderful time, though, didn’t
we?” His wife agreed.
“And old Senator Pompess,” the
host continued, laughing, “Boy! He
was tighter than a drum.”
“How can you say such a'thing?”
his wife demanded indignantly.
“The Senator definitely was not
intoxicated. Any man who can
slide down the banisters without
losing his balance certainly can’t
be drunk.”
Ouch!
Tom was astounded that the
judge had permitted the apparently
guilty man to go scot free.
“How did it ever happen?” he
asked a court attendant.
“Because he was deal.” ex
plained the other.
"What has that got to do with
it?” demanded Tom.
"Didn’t you know," asked the
attendant, "that you can’t convict
a man without a hearing?”
GAGGED
Stranger at crossroads store:
“Who’s the close-mouthed fellow
over there in the comer? He hasn’t
spoken a word for the last fifteen
minutes.”
Another Village Loafer: “Him?
That’s Jim Towsley. He ain’t close
mouthed—he’s jess waitin’ for the
storekeeper to bring back the spit
toon.”
ONE WAT TO DO rr
“How’d you come out in that
fight with your wife the other
night?”
"Aw, she came crawling to
me on her hands and knees.”
"What did she say?”
"Come out from under that
bed, you coward!"
Butt-Insky
A fellow took his wife to the
movies but cou’dn’t hear because
of the conversation going on in the
row in back of him. When he could
stand it no longer, he turned around
to the fellow behind him.
"Excuse me, but I just can’t hear
a word,” he said.
“Oh, you can’t hear a word, hub?
Well, listen, mugg, whose business
is it what I’m telling my girl?”
It’s A Man’s World
Women would rather be lookup
around at than up to.
SEWING CRChE NEEDLEWORK
530 Sooth Wells St. Chlooss 7. I1L
Enclose SO cents for pattern.
No.
Name "
Address
FIRST AID to the
AILING HOUSE
by Roger C-Wbitmai
Home Accident Deaths
Number 35,000 in 1948
CHICAGO.—Home is where the
heart is—and where the heart of
the accident problem is, too.
There were 35,000 home acci
dent deaths in 1948—which makes
the home America’s No. 1 acci
dental killer.
Falls were the greatest cause of
home deaths last year, resulting
In 18,200 fatalities. Bums, scalds
and explosions came next, with a
total of 6,000 deaths. Mechanical
suffocation caused 1,800 deaths, to
rank third in 1948.
Special studies show that more
than 25 per cent of fatal home ac
cidents occur in the bedroom. The
yard and kitchen are the next
most hazardous locations at home,
causing about 12 and 10 per cent
of the deaths respectively.
CHICAGO.—American motorists
are learning to drive more safely,
according to ths 1949 edition of the
National Safety Council’s statisti
cal yearbook, “Accident Facts.”
The 1948 traffic volume was. the
greatest in the nation’s history—8
per cent greater than 1947. Yet the
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'A. cup butter or margarine
% lb. marshmallows
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% teaspoon vanilla
1 pkg. Kellogg’s Rice
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mileage death rate—deaths per
100.000,000 vehicle miles—was the
lowest in the nation’s history. The
8.0 rate was 30 per cent lower than
the average rate of 11.5 through
World War II. If the higher rate
had prevailed last year, 14,000
, more lives would have been lost, i
iRICl
MM
Cook butter or margarine and marshmal
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Put Rice Krispies In greased bowl and pour
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when cooL Yield: 24 delicious Rice Krispies
Marshmallow Squares. Everyone loves ’em!
■.
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To obtain complete knitting instruc
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QUESTION: Our drains are
stopped up very often in spite of
the fact that we have had the
pipes cleared by a tree-rooter ma
chine. I am of the opinion that it
is a clogged vent and not tree
roots in the pipes. Can you give
me any advice?
ANSWER: It is possible that the
pitch of the horizontal soil pipe is
insufficient, so that - grease and
other sediment matter congeals
and closes up the line and retards
the flow of waste matter to the
sewer. Re-laying of the pipe is
one solution, if that is the case. I
doubt if a clogged vent would
cause the condition. The other
solution to such a problem is to in
stall a grease trap in the line from
the kitchen sink and clean it out
periodically.
futod. *
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ORIGINAL BAUME ANALGESQUE
QUICK!
RUB IN
THE ORIGINAL BAUME ANALGESQUE
■ 1
ft. ft, SiL Jr
New York housewife
gives her report:
MOHtSmi
astvmm
KwromoN
DUE TO SMOKING
CAMELS!
'"‘fcfcafe
3o-n.
tout
Ate
w
RO-,
.5^
These were the findings of
noted throat specialists in
a coast-to-coast test of hundred*
of men and women who smoked Camels,
and only Camels, for 30 consecutive days.
The throats of all smokers in the test
were examined every week—a total of
.2.470 careful cimmiaafions.
sf'Ss.V.,,