The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, July 22, 1949, Image 3
THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C,
DONT SHOOT FIRST BASEMAN UNLESS . . .
Childhood Memories Drive Batter Berserk
. . . YOU WISH TO BE SWITCHED TO THE MINORS
By H. I. PHILLIPS
A PSYCHIATRIC EXAM
(Wherein Elmer Twitchell, hav
ing shot a first baseman, is ques
tioned for reasons.)
Doctor.—Now, then, I want you
to relax and let your thoughts run
freely.
Elmer.—Are you a good psychi
atrist?
Doctor.—Yes, I never played
first base in my life.
position did you
Elmer.—What
play?
Doctor.—I was a southpaw pitch
er in my college days.
Elmer.—That does it! I must
have my gun back . . . Please,
my gun! ... It rests my
nerves so!
Doctor.—Quiet! I’m trying to
help you out of a very serious jam.
^Miracles
HEY sought the Master's healing touch.
They followed Him down lane and field,
And every ailing, seeking one
Who came to Him was healed.
O Master, Still today we come;
The great throngs down the earthly roads.
We bear our sorrow and our pain.
We Stoop beneath our heavy loads.
We pray, and often grief is Stilled,
And pain becomes a Strange, paSt thing;
Our loads are lifted, many times
Even from our remembering.
And these are miracles as great
As those far ones on sea and land.
All healing, all release, dear Lord,
Comes from Thy hand, Thy unseen hand.
4
You shot a ballplayer and can go
to prison.
Elmer.—Do they put people in
prison for shooting ballplayers?
Doctor.—If they didn't some clubs
would be bumped off in a single
afternoon. Now, listen, there must
be a psychopathic reason lor what
you did. As a child how was your
home life, and you'd better make
it bad. Was there, for instance
ever a Christmas when your folks
spent $5 on your brother for a first
baseman’s mitt and only $2 on you
for a book?
Elmer.—That could have done it.
Doctor.—Did your father ever
read the baseball summaries
aloud? Did you ever live in
Brooklyn back in the days of
those eccentric infields? Was
anybody in your family a base
ball fanatic?
Elmer.—I had an uncle who used
to recite that Costello thing en
titled "Who’s on First?"
Doctor.—Good. I’ll make a note
of that. In your infancy were you
ever chased with a ball bat for not
doing your homework?
Elmer.—I seem to remember
something like that. And I recall
that as a little child I was taught
to walk too early. I developed an
aversion to walks.
Doctor.—That would explain it if
you shot a pitcher. In school did
you ever have a teacher who wore
a mask and chest protector?
Elmer.—No, but I had a kinder
garten principal who carried a
sawed-off bat and insisted he had
been ordered to bunt.
Doctor.—In your immature years
did you ever play softball?
Elmer.—Yes. I was such a poor
hitter I never got to first except
when hit by the pitcher. And I
never got to second because there
wasn’t a .300 hitter on the team.
Doctor.—Now it’s all clear.
If you ever were to get to
second base you knew you
would have to shoot the first
baseman . . . The idea took pos
session of you! ... It became
an urge! . . . You couldn’t re
sist it! . . . We can explain
everything to the court. Y'ou
are as good as free.
Elmer.—Goody! Goody! Can I
have my gun back?
Doctor.—Probably, but we may
have to switch you to some other
league!
« • •
President Truman says there is
no depression. If you are out of
work it is all a red herring.
« * •
Milton Berle and his former wife,
Joyce Matthews, separated in 1947,
were remarried the other day . . .
The ceremony was disappointing to
us as no Texaco quartette showed
up to sing the wedding march . . .
It was one time on a Berle pro
gram where the other performer
got equal billing . . . Everything
went off smoothly. Surrogate Bill
Collins, who presided, refraining
from opening the ritual with “TeU
ya what I’m gonna do.''
• • •
VANISHING AMERICANISMS:
“All I need is steady work to
have a good bank account.”
*
“We’ll give you one month free
rent during alterations.”
*
“Boys’ Suits! Nothing over $12.”
•
"Let’s live within our income.”
♦
•Tve got 50 dollars; let’s go to
a nightclub."
• • »
When that new Sherwood-Berlin
musical opens in New York the cry
of the seat seekers may be “Give
me Liberty or give me Kiss Me
Kate.”
Baccalaureate
Gentlemen of the classes of 1949:
I am going to scrap the plati
tudes, ignore the old rhetorical pat
terns and skip anything resembling
baloney balonus.
It will be a novelty, I am sure,
to hear a baccalaureate a little dif
ferent from th, one delivered last
year. I give you these three all-
important words of three and four
letters which rate paramount im
portance in the struggle ahead:
"Use your head!"
BY INEZ GERHARD
I T’S NO WONDER that Ben
Grauer is regarded as the out
standing special events reporter in
radio and television. Starting as an
announcer, he was switched by
NBC to special events reporting
and climbed to the top of the heap.
He has covered everything from
presidential inaugurations to golf
matches, UN sessions to eclipses
In Brazil, Is much sought after as
BEN GRAUER
emcee for radio and television
shows. Pleasing microphone per
sonality and “the gift of gab” have
helped make him a success, but the
most important factor is his pro
found knowledge of politics, sports,
psychology, science, literature—
practically everything he needs to
know.
Paulette Goddard says that
curves are coming back into fa
shion, so far as the girls of the
country are concerned, because
men like womenly women. Paulette
has practiced what she preaches;
she put on 10 pounds for her role
as the wayward heroine of Colum
bia’s "Anna Lucasta” to make the
lady alluring, says she looks and
feels so well she’s going to keep
them.
When a drama in CBS’ “Green
Lama” series included two femi
nine suspects named Susan and
Leslie only a few of the intimate
friends of writer William Froug
knew that he was announcing the
birth of his daughter, Susan Leslie.
100,000 gallons of water and nine
days’ work by more than 100 'tech
nicians produced the cloudburst
which menaces Marguerite Chap
man and little Natalie Wood in
'“She Green Promise”—all done on
• huge stage, indoors, at RKO.
The
Fiction * * BEST
ALIBI ★ * Richard H Wilkinson
Corner
M AX SANDERS’ home had been
robbed of jewels valued at
$50,000. The jewels were kept in a
wall safe behind a picture In Max’s
study, which was located on the
second floor of his Beverly Hills
home.
Inspector Ray Beatty was as
signed to the case. Leo MacDougal,
a police officer,
who had been
summoned from
his beat, showed
Inspector Beatty
the evidence
that had thus far been discovered.
First there was a ladder placed
against a window that opened into
a second floor hall. This window
had been discovered open.
Inspector Beatty told MacDougal
to summon all the servants. Then
he questioned them. They all had
good excuses. Sid Firbush, a secre
tary, had spent the night at the
movies with a friend. Edwards,
the butler, had read in his room un
til Mr. and Mrs. Sanders returned
from a party, when he admitted
them.
It was right after that, that
Mrs. Sanders went to the safe
to replace the jewels she had
worn, and found the others
gone.
Martha Greene, the housekeeper,
had been in her room all evening.
Her room was located on the sec
ond floor. She had gone down to
the kitchen about 10 o’clock for
a bite to eat »nd found Viola Mat-
son, the maid, there with her boy
friend. Returning, Martha had
passed Edwards’ room and seen Ed
wards sitting by his table, reading.
I NSPECTOR BEATTY dismissed
the servants and went back to
the study. He examined every inch
of it. Then he went into the hall
and examined that. He also ex
amined the window and the ladder
and the ground below the window.
It had rained a little the night be
fore and he found some footprints
beside the ladder. They looked like
men’s footprints.
Inspector Beatty sought out Sid
Firbush. He asked the secretary if
Max Sanders held business confer
ences in his study. Firbush said
that he did.
“The chances are, then, that
he’s had occasion to open the
safe when others were pres
ent?”
“It’s quite likely."
“I want as complete a list as you
can make me of all the people
you’ve known to be in the study
during the past month.”
Inspector Beatty left Sid Firbush
making out the list, summoned
MacDougal and went down the hall.
He entered one door after the next,
first knocking to make sure the
room was empty. Presently he re
turned to the hall, bearing a pair of
shoes.
Carrying the shoes he returned
to the study and asked Firbush if
they were his shoes.
“Why, yes,’ said Firbush. “Why?
Where did you get them?"
„ "Out of your closet. I
searched the closets of all the
servants till I found a pair of
shoes with some mud on the
soles. It was you who com
mitted the robbery.”
"You’re crazy. That’s a cock
eyed theory. The robber came up
the ladder.”
“No,” said Inspector Beatty,
“that’s only what you expected us
to believe. That’s why you put the
ladder there and left the window
open. The robbery was committed
before you placed the ladder
there.”
“How do you know that? You
can’t prove it.”
"I won’t have to. What I can
prove is that no one came up the
ladder. It rained last night. There
was mud. There’s mud on your
shoes. The shoes fit the footprints
at the foot of the ladder. Yet there
is no mud at all on the rungs of the
ladder. If there had been I would
have probably been fooled and not
been sure that some one inside com
mitted the theft. Besides you had
the best alibi. I checked with the
man with whom you said you at
tended the movie. He broke down
and confessed everything.”
MacDougal was amazed. After
wards he said to Beatty: “I didn’t
know you checked with Firbush’s
friend. When did that happen?”
“It didn’t," said Beatty.
mm pu/iie
LAST WEEK'S
ANSWER ■
ACROSS
1. Praise
5. Antelopes
(Tibet)
9. Otherwise
10. Leather
flask for oil
11. Metal tag
12. Explosion
14. Music note
15. Stitch
17. Sandarac
tree
18. Wayside
hotel
20. Male sheep
22. Molybde
num (sym.)
23. Mine
entrance
25. Panted
23. Long and
tiresome
30. Highway
32. Curve
35. Music note
36. Attempt
38. Before
39. Expression
of sorrow
42. An evergreen
tree
44. Water god
(Babyl.)
45. Marked with
lines
47. Weaken
49. Ostrich-like
bird
50. Poke
51. Fermented
liquor
from rice
(Jap.)
52. Observes
DOWN
1. A story
from the
past
19.
Entire
amount
Employs
Dishearten
Sailor
(slang)
Wide
mouthed
jug
Armadillo
An
East
Asian herb
Melody
Trampled
Good-
humored,
practical
joking
River (Afr.)
21. Cushion
24. Decimal
unit
26. Chinese
silk
27. Funeral
pile
29. Indehiscent
fruit
30. At a
distance
31. Estimates
the worth of
33. Doctrines
34. Perceive
by the
C&I*
37. Utters -
sharp
barks
□□□Cl UUQi)
□□HQ QHGU
□□□DO □□□□!)
□□□ □□Q UU
HEaaaau Ban
□aan aaaa
aaaH aaaa
Answer to Puzzle No. 1
40. Egyptian
dancing girl
41. Search
43. Carried on
the body
46. Owing
48. Sorrow
SPEAKS -
lnt«rnat.or\«l Umiarrn""^pH|
MUiiyl Sunday School l.^orts rUl
By DR. KEMHETH I, fODEMAW
SCRIPTURE: Psalms 32; 51. 86:5;
130:1-5.
DEVOTIONAL READING: I John
1:5—2:2.
Right With God
Lesson for July 24, 1949
PUZZLE NO. 8
sr^tET RIGHT with God” is an
expression which has been
sometimes used by people. It is not
a coarse or cheap idea. It is the most
important thing you
can do. Think what
it means to be
wrong with God!
That means to be
out of harmony
with his will, go
ing “across the
grain of reality” as
the old Greeks used
to say. To be wrong
with God means to D r> Foreman
be a rebel against
reality, to have the power of the
universe working against you, and
so to be headed for sure destruc
tion. Wrong with God, you cannot
win. Right with God. you cannot
lose. To be right with God means
to be in line with the purpose that
runs through all things; it means
in the simple language of the
Bible, to live as a child of God.
. • •
Mule or Man?
•PHERE are two ways in which
* man can come into line, so to
speak, with God. One is by being
whipped into it, and the other is
by a free act of will. The poet of
the 32nd Psalm begs his readers
not to be like mules or colts
(Ps. 32:9). These animals can be
broken and controlled by their mas
ters. But they do not understand
what is going on, and if left to
themselves they would never serve.
They have to be canght, har
nessed and driven. But God
does not want to treat hnman
beings like that. Getting right
with God is not a business of
getting into harness, being beat
en into walking on the right
road.
That is not God’s way. He pleads
with us through his inspired poet:
Be not as mules—be men!
• * •
Facing Up to Yourself
T HE short good Bible word for be
ing wrong with God is Sin. The
very first step toward being right
with God is to see yourself as you
are. No one ever went to a doctor
till he at least suspected he was
sick. No one ever went to school of
his own accord who thought he
knew everything. And no one will
come to God who thinks he is as
good as he needs to be. When life
goes hard with us, when everything
about our life seems twisted and
rotten, we make all sorts of excuses
for ourseh’es, we lay the blame on
our parents or our friends of the
social and economic system in
which we live (doubtless all these
have a share in creating our troub
les), but we hate to look at our
selves in the mirror of truth.
This comes first: recognizing
our own wrongness, not just
weakness but wrongness. When
we reach the point where we
can say with the Psalmist,
“Create in me a clean heart,
O God, and renew a right
spirit within me,” then we are
on the right road.
• • •
“Hide Thy Face”
T HERE are two things we never
hear about in the Bible. One is
that God never forgave anyone who
did not repent, and the other is that
he refused to forgive any one who
did repent. But repentance is not
merely regretting that a wrong was
done; still less regretting being
caught. Repentance, the kind the
Bible describes (as in these Psalms
for example), means a complete
change of attitude, it means coming
over on God’s side and seeing sin
the way he sees it, seeing life the
way he sees it.
God’s forgiveness is not of
the grudging, remembering, re
minding kind. But condoning
and forgiving are still a world
apart. Condoning means saying
in effect. It is all right, it makes
no difference, you can go on
sinning for all I care.
Some human “forgiveness” may
be like that, but not God’s. His
forgiveness is based on real re
pentance, and the aim of it is to
save the sinner from his sin.
• * •
Plenteous in Mercy
T HE Psalmists saw clearly what
kind of God we have. He is not
like the holder of a mortgage wait
ing till the first time some payment
is deferred gitps him a chance to
pounce down and evict his tenant.
We are not criminals against whom
God is a prosecuting attorney, try
ing to pile up evidence against us.
“If thou shouldest mark iniquities,
who shall stand?” We are children,
lost and wandering children, rebel
lious and disobedient children, but
still children; and God holds open
the door of mercy.
(CopvrtKht by the Ir.ternational Coun-
ell of Religious Education on benall of
10 Protestant denominations. ReleaseQ
by WNU Features.
* „ ★ * * ★ ★ *
H0OSSHOID
MfMOS I
'X-X'XmMwMMwX
Freeze Foods for Future Use
(See Recipes Below)
Freeze your Foods
R OAST TURKEY in mid-summer,
broiled chicken in January and
strawberry shortcake in Decem
ber, these are some of the items
which are a real possibility on
menus if you have facilities for
freezing your food. This may be a
freezer right in your own home,
or it might be space rented at one
of the large lockers that are now
available in so many localities.
Foods know no season when it’s
possible to freeze them, and, this,
of course, is one
of the best ways
to avoid meal
monotony. You
simply freeze
the food when
it’s at the peak
of the season,
then eat it when
you want it.
Freezing food is one of the sim
plest of preserving methods since
foods require only a minimum of
preparation, and they retain their
freshness until thawed and pre
pared.
• • • '
How to Prepare Meat
For Freezer
r ’S a simple job to freeze meat
for future meals and you need
follow only a few simple rules to
do it successfully.
When choosing animals for freez
ing, select those healthy ones of
size and weight which will pro
duce the quality of cuts preferred
by the family. Excessive fat is un
necessary, but an ample covering
of fat protects the lean from dry
ing out during the frozen storage.
This latter does not apply to veal
since that meat has little fat.
These rules apply whether you
purchase meats from a market or
produce house. Ask for quality cuts
from prime cattle, and mention
that you intend freezing them and
the butcher may be more careful
in his selection.
Once the carcass is prepared, chill
the meat immediately as bacteria
grow rapidly at the high tempera
tures. Molds, bacteria and yeast
may ruin the flavor of the meat un
less it is chilled at once.
Meat cutting is no job for a
novice and should be done by the
butcher or an expert meat cutter
at a locker plant. You, however,
should specify cuts you want, if
you’ve purchased a carcass or part
of one. It’s a good idea to have the
meat cut in family size portions to
eliminate waste, since the meat
cannot, or should not be frozen once
it has been thawed.
It’s popular, too, to have meat
boned since it requires less freezing
space, and since the bones cannot
puncture wrapping paper once
they’re eliminated.
• • •
Proper Wrapping
Saves Quality
TT’S UNWISE to economize on
^ wrapping paper for frozen foods
since the meat may dry out and
“freezer bums” often result. Reg
ular butcher paper, ordinary waxed
paper or grocery store type paper
are not used. Moisture and vapor-
proof paper bags or cartons made
especially for this purpose are best.
They should be easy to fold, wrap
or handle, tough enough to resist
tearing, and capable of receiving
an ink or china pencil mark for
labeling.
LYNN SAYS:
Use These Freezing
Tips to Help You
Varieties are of great importance
in the successful freezing of fruits.
Apples for sauce, for example,
should be Baldwins, Greenings,
Northern Spy or Yellow Transpar
ent types.
Study the freezing space which
will be available to you, and plan
how much of each fruit, vegetable,
meat or poultry you will have. Don’t
overstock one item so that you can’t
freeze something you want.
LYNN CHAMBER’S MENU
Chicken Shortcake with Gravy
Buttered Lima Beans
Carrot Sticks Beverage Cookies
Peach Salad in Cherry Gelatin
Peppermint Ice Cream
Each bundle of meat in the freez
er should contain enough meat for
your family for
a meal. Waxed
or waterproofed
paper may be
used between
each hamburger,
steak or chop
since this makes
them easy to separate and hastens
thawing once they come out for
use. Or, in this case, you may
readily remove two or three chops
without thawing the whole package.
Pull the proper wrapping tightly
around the meat to smooth out
all possible air and eliminate air
pockets. The package should be
smooth and firmly packed to con
serve storage space.
Seal the paper with a "drugstore
fold” which means bringing one
edge over the other and folding it
over the shorter sheet. Now twist
or fold the ends and seal with ace
tate (scotch) tape. This tape is not
affected by moisture or cold.
Label all packages so you can
easily identify them when you want
them. The label should contain the
type of meat enclosed, the number
of servings or the weight in pounds,
and the date on which it was
wrapped for freezing.
As soon as the meat is wrapped
and labeled, place in the freezer. If
you do not have a freezer at home,
store the packages in the refrigera
tor until you can take them to the
locker, but this should not be more
than a few hours.
• • •
Frozen Poultry
Keeps Well
Frozen poultry is one food which
keeps well in its frozen state, and
requires even less
attention than
freezing meat
since you yourself
can prepare it for
freezing with no
special tools. Clean
the bird and dis
joint it, and in place of cooking it,
wrap it for freezing to be cooked
several months later.
Birds are killed, bled, plucked,
chilled and dressed before they can
be packaged. If you desire, it’s a
great convenience to stuff the poul
try and freeze it in that state, so
the poultry is ready to pop in the
oven for Christmas or Thanksgiv
ing dinner. Do not use sage in the
dressing if you expect to keep the
bird more than three months since
the flavor permeates the meat.
Here’s a guide for chicken to be
frozen: broilers should not weigh
over two and a half pounds dressed,
or be over 12 weeks old; frying
chickens should weigh from three
to three and a half pounds and be
20 weeks old.
Fowl for fricassee may weigh
from four to six pounds and can be
from one to two years old. A roast
ing chicken should weigh four to
five pounds, but is best if not more
than a year old. Capons should
weigh from 7 to 10 pounds but
should not be over 8 to 10 months
old.
Fruit juices for breakfast or bev
erages are easily frozen. Select
good juices from well - matured
fruits and chill thoroughly. Extract
the juice and pour into paraffin
coated tubs or cylinders. Freeze
immediately.
Water used for washing fruit,
berries and vegetables should have
ice in it unless the temperature is
lower than 65°.
Speed the harvest to the freezer
just as you speed food to the can
for canning to prevent food value
loss and deterioration.
O'* ^
l ASK MR O
l' ANOTHER I
I A General Quiz
fw. ^
The Questions
1. Where is the United States
Military Academy located?
2. What is a native of Wales
called?
3. From what source are the
names of the United States battle
ships selected?
4. What heavyweight champion
was the largest in stature?
5. The word “chukker” is used
in what sport?
The Answers
1. West Point.
2. A Welshman.
3. The States of the Union.
4. Primo Camera.
5. Polo.
Speaker to President
James K. Polk of Tennessee WES
the only speaker of the house of
representatives to become Presi
dent of the United States. Two
speakers Inter became vice-presi
dent, however, Schuyler Colfax
and John N. Gamer.
St. Joseph
AdriniH hi ns Bedl
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