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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C. Bandit Is lust a ‘Crumb’; Waitress Proves Her Point DETROIT. — Mrs. Imogene Cor- retta, 38, waitress in a local restau rant, brushed off a would-be bandit as she might have flicked a breaa crumb off the counter, holdup squad officers said. A man strode into the restaurant, right hand threateningly in his over coat pocket in the approved man ner. He announced boldly, “This is a stickup.” Mrs. Corretta pretended not to hear him. “Open the cash register,” the des perado blustered. Mrs. Corretta ignored him. The "bandit" reached across the counter and started to open the till himself. Mrs. Corretta calmly rapped him across the back of his hand with the dull edge of a large butcher knife and the toughie yelped and fled. British May Trim House Of Lords by 600 Peers LONDON. — Conservative party sources said about 600 British peers would lose their hereditary seats in the House of Lords under reform proposals considered by Conserva tive leaders as counter to the Labor government’s plan to curb the upper chamber’s powers. A committee of Conservative peers is considering a proposal to limit membership to about 300 lords with outstanding public service rec ords. No Laxatives For 30 Years “When I complained of constipation, my doctor recommended Kellogg’s all-bran which I now have been eating regularly for 30 years. I never had to take another laxative!”— F. Tilden Spear, Harrisburg, Pa, If your diet lacks bulk needed for normal elimi nation, this tasty cereal will supply it. Eat an ounce of KELLOGG’S ALL BRAN in milk daily —drink plenty of water. If unsatisfied after 10 days send empty carton to Kellogg Co., Battle Creek, Mich., and get double YOUR MONEY BACK. A MCKESSON * BOBBINS PBODUCT MClAfC that makes folks I e t Fw w sleep all night! Thousands now sleep undisturbed because ol the news that their being awakened night after night miaht be from bladder irrUation not the Mnev* Let’s hope so; That's a condition Foley Pills usually allay within 24 hours Since blad der irritation is so prevalent and Foley Pills so potent. Foley Pills must benefit you within 24 hours or DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK Make 24-hour test Get Foley Pills from drug- fdONEY 1 BACK?* 1 " 00 ° r D0UBLE YOUB Kidneys Must Work Well- t*or You To Feel Well 24 hours every day. 7 days every week, never stopping, the kidneys filter waste matter from toe blood. If more people were aware of how the kidnevs must constantly remove sur plus fluid, excess acids and other waste matter that cannot stay in the blood without injury to health, there would be better understanding of why the whole system Is upset when kidneys fail to function properly. Burning, scanty or too frequent urina tion sometimes warns that something is wrong. You may suffer nagging back ache, headaches, dizziness, 'rheumatic pains, getting up at nights, swelling. Why not try Doan’e Filial You will be using a medicine recommended the country over. Doan’a stimulate the func tion of the kidneys and help them to flush out poisonous waste from the blood. They contain nothing harmful. Get Doan’a today. Use with confidence. At all drug stores. DOANS PILLS YOUR BEST BET To make a better town for all of us, is to buy it from your local mer chants! MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fisher REG’LAR FELLERS By Gene Byrnes VIRGIL Bv Len Kleis Untapped Knowledge T HE old farmer was dozing In the shade of his front porch, when a high-pressure salesman bustled up the front walk and awakened him with a cheery “Good afternoon.” He had a sample book of a 10- volume set on scientific agriculture he was selling. The old farmer was at length per suaded to page through the speci men volume. “Nope,” he objected; “ain’t got no use for it.” “But you ought to have it,” the salesman insisted. “It will teach you to farm twice as good as you do now.” “Hell, son,” barked the ancient agriculturist, “I don’t farm half a, good now as I know how.” SHORT TRIP A missionary, newly arrived at the Cannibal islands, asked where his predecessor was. “Your predecessor,” replied the cannibal chief, “has taken a trip to the interior.” Well Taught A little girl about six years old went into a bank and asked to see the president. A smiling clerk showed her into his private office. She explained solemnly • that her girl’s club was raising money, and would he please contribute? The banker laid a dollar bill and a dime on the desk and said, “You take whichever one you want.” She picked up the dime and said, “My mother always taught me to take the smallest piece,” but pick ing up the dollar bill also, she add ed, “bul, so I won’t lose this dime. I’ll take this piece of paper to wrap it up in.” Excess Baggage Weary of working as a cook in northwestern lumber camps, Ole Svenson retired to a small farm, but after batching a while he went to the city and got himself a wife. Life on the farm was too lonely, how ever, and the woman soon ran away. “Well, Ole,” said a friend, “are you sorry she went?” “No,” replied Ole. “No? Why not?” "Veil,” retorted Ole, “she vas al- vays getting in de vay vhen I vas cooking.” TOE-PRINTS During the night, two burglars en tered the bank. One approached the safe, sat down on the floor, took off his shoes and socks and started to turn the dial of the safe with his toes. “What’s the matter?” said his pal. ‘‘Let’s open this thing and get out of here.” “Naw, it’ll only take a minute longer and we’ll drive them finger print experts nuts.” Simple Arithmetic A Sunday school teacher had been telling a class of little boys about crowns of glory and heavenly re wards for good people. "Now tell me,” she said at the close of the lesson, “who will get the biggest crown?” There was a silence for a while, then Johnnie replied, "Him wot’s got the biggest head." Definite Proof Mr. and Mrs. Newbride were nearing the tearful stage of their first tiff. “You talk of possessing judg ment,” sniffed Mrs. Newbride. "My judgment is superior to yours!” "Oh, unquestionably,” retorted Mr. Newbride. “Our choice of life partners proves that.” Grammatical Sadie,— And when Mrs. Gubbins sez you wasn’t no lidy wot did yer say? Judy — I sez, “Two negatives means an infirmary,” and I knocks ’er down. She’s in the ’orspital now. WANTED TO GET EVEN When the little mink died and Went to heaven St. Peter told him, “We haven’t had any minks up here before, so we don’t know exactly what to do for you. However, you were a good little mink on earth and we want you to be happy, so we will give you anything you like. “Please, St. Peter,” pleaded the little mink, “—could I have a coat made out of chorus girls?” H. Y. Court Decision Holds Test-Tube Baby Legitimate NEW YORK. — A supreme court justice ruled that a child bom as the result of artificial insemination is legitimate. The ruling was made by Justice Henry Clay Greenberg in deciding that the estranged husband of Mrs. Julie Strnad, 31, had a right to visit her daughter, four-year-old An toinette, who she said was a prod uct of artificial insemination. Mrs. Strnad claimed that her hus band, Antoine, 42, was sterile since birth, an allegation he denied. She sought to prevent him from peeing the child on the ground Antoinette was not the offspring of her ex mate. She had won a separation decree and principal custody of the child last October. Atomic Danger Zone Posted For Tests on New Weapons WASHINGTON.—The atomic en ergy commission has posted a “Danger—Keep Out” notice cover ing 39,000 square miles of the Pa cific ocean surrounding Eniwetok atoll, site of forthcoming “tests of military weapons.” ‘‘Hazards will exist” in a rectan gular area approximately 173 miles north and south and 226 miles east and west, the commission said. The danger will continue through out 1948. Plane Crosses Ocean With Dead Motor; Bishop Safe SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA. — An Aus tralian flying boat, carrying 29 pas sengers and a crew of 6, landed here safely after flying 380 miles across the storm-tossed Tasman sea with one of its four engines dead. Among the passengers were Episco pal Bishop G. Ashton Oldham of Al bany, N. Y., and his wife. Railway Passengers Gassed And Robbed in Romania BUCHAREST. ROMANIA. — A band of thieves put all the passen gers in a railway carriage to sleep by using gas and robbed the night train from Bucharest to Iasi, the newspaper Natiunea said. When the passengers woke up at Iasi station they found all their lug gage gone. MUSCLE STRAjN? SORETONE Liniment’s Heating Pad Action Gives Quick Relief! When fatigue, exposure put misery in muscles, ten dons and back, relieve such symptoms quickly with the liniment specially made for this purpose. Soretone Liniment contains effective rubefa cient ingredients that act like glowing warmth from a heating pad. Helps attract fresh surface blood supply. Soretone is in a class by itself. Fast, gentle, satisfying relief assured or price refunded. 50c. Economy size SI.00. Try Soretone for Athlete’s Foot. Kills aO S types of common fungi—on contact! Farm Mechanization Boosts v Production to Record Levof OMAHA, NEB. — Americans ar« harvesting 20 million more acre; to- day than they did in 1940, although there are three million fewer peopl*| doing it, and on 200,000 fewer farms.] Fast-growing mechaniaation of farms is largely responsible for thi»i feat, Joseph A. Hoban, merchandise manager of B. F. Goodrich com-j pany, told members of Midwest Im plement Dealers association. E» cited the fact that the nation’s trac- 1 tor “population” had doubled, from one million to two million, just since 1940. * Praising “the way America’*' farmers and other food producers had come through to ease tragid conditions in many lands,” Hobani cited the following estimates on the nation’s 1947 exports of foodstuffs:! 392 million bushels of wheat, five times the amount exported in 1939 ;j 88 million bushels of com, com pared to 32 million in 1939, and 328 million pounds of meat products, against 193 million in 1939. The farm market offered "the biggest sales opportunity” for in dustry in 1947, Hobah said, adding that “there is no question that this market is going forward at as great or even greater pace in 1948.” Hoban said that all tractors now made are rubber-tired, and that changing all a farm’s rolling stock from steel to rubber tires produced an average saving of 24 working days and 675 gallons of gasoline per year, for each 150 acres worked. How To Relieve Bronchitis Creomulsion relieves promptly Be cause It goes right to the seat of tho trouble to help loosen and expel germ laden phlegm, and aid nature to soothe and heal raw, tender. In flamed bronchial mucous mem branes. Tell your druggist to sell you a bottle of Creomulsion with the un derstanding you must like the way it quickly allays the cough .or you an to have your money back. CREOMULSION far Coughs. Chest Colds. Bronchitis • In NR (Nature’s Remedy) Tablet* there are no chemicals, no mineral* no phenol derivatives. NR Tablets are different—act different Purely vegt* table—a combination of 10 vegetable ingredients formulated over 50 years ago. Uncoated or candy coated, theia action is dependable, thorough, yet gentle, as millions of NR’s have proved. Get a 254 box. Use as directed. They Taste good-good! f —m£r n ™ -1 cJ-% Their fresh golden tom flavor , / makes Kellogg’s Com Flakes the / favorite. Good—m-m-m! MOTHER KNOtfS/BEST/ Sm • Rub in gently-warming, soothing Ben-Gay for fast relief from muscular soreness and pain. Ben-Gay con tains up to 2 Vi times more methyl salicylate and menthol—famous pain-relieving agents known to every doctor—than five other widely offered rub-ins. Insist on genuine Ben-Gay, the original Baume Analgesique. Also for Pain due to RHEUMATISM, NEURALGIA, and COLDS. Ask for Mild Boo-Gay for Children. W/OZ... Ven-Gay