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THE NEWBERRY SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C. The Big City: Free Wirning to Cafegoers: Those stirrers you get with your high ball are, not sanitary. . . . Nearly everyone sticks the things into their kissers or runs them over their teeth —and the bartenders have no way of sterilizing them before passing them on to the next patron. . . . Suggestion: Carry your own—they come in silver and gold. . . . The jewelry stores can send my com missions to the Catholic, Jewish and Protestant Charities. Oops!: In Movietown there is a “charm” school that teaches pet animals various stunts and man ners. The school also coaches the master-’ of the pets. Coh’—ibia Pictures’ boss Harry Cohn enrolled his dog in the course. After ten days Mr. Cohn wanted to quit because: "We’re not getting anywhere!” “I’m sorry, Mr. Cohn,” said the instructor, “but you will have to learn that you cannot talk to your dog—as though he were an actor or a writer,” In Other Words: After reading the papers about the way some so ciety upstarts are behaving, Bill Schiller memo’d: “They call them thorough-breds. I call them thor ough-brats!” Heheheh: Larry Storch, the Copa comic, overheard a man and woman as they came out after witnessing “The Lost Weekend.” "I’m through!” said the man. “With drinking?” she asked. “No, movies!” You’ve Met Him: One of those bores spoiled a party with a series of spineless stories and loud gab. Finally, he got up to leave. “What I need,” he said, “is a little shut-eye.” “What you need,” said Phil Brito, “is a little shut-up!” It Happened: Hollywood actors report that it happened on the Su per-Chief the other week-end. A man nobody knew kept buying drinks for all in the crowded club car. He displayed a wallet packed with $1,000 bills. A film magnate was concerned when he passed out. He helped him to his compartment. Then the pro ducer worried that he would be robbed—since the limp one wouldn’t think to lock himself in. The pro ducer took the stranger’s wallet for safe-keeping. At noon the producer joined the drunk in the diner and said: “You were pretty tight last night, so I put you to bed. Here’s your wal let.” The stranger brought a wallet from his own hip and said: “Thanks —and here’s yours.” Merciless Truth: H. L. Mencken says there are two times in every man’s life when he is thoroughly happy. Just after he has met his first love and just after he has parted from his last one. The Morning Mail: “Dear Wal ter,” writes a reader, “I spent the week-end in the country. I heard two army horses (which are to be cared for—the rest of their lives) congratulating each other—on not being mere G.I.s.” Saddest Story of the Week: Les Brown, the bandleader, brought it in. . . . It’s the saga of the high-wire artist. . . . Poor chap. . . . He jumped 50 feet straight up into the air—grabbed a trapeze—did 25 fast flips—and caught the trapeze be tween his teeth—with no hands! . . . Imagine! . . .Then he tried it a second time—missed—and fell to the stage with a crash that rocked the theater. . . . The producer helped the battered performer to his feet, put him in a chair and said: “You did fine—and then you had to louse it up by getting slapsticky!” Broadway Glossary: Bartender: The one guy at the bar who knows what he’s doing. . . . Marquee: Any actor’s heaven. . . . Chanteuse: Not a singer. . . . Maestro: Corniest member of the band. . . . Ingenue: Chorus; girl who is “Going Places” —with the producer. . . Romance: When he picks up the check. . . . Love: Whei> she does. . . . Man ager: An unsuccessful booking agent. . . . Critic: District attorney invited to the crime. . . . Stagehand: Off-stage prima donna. . . . Pals: The penalty of success. . . Loyal ty: Being true to someone on top. . . . By-Line: What has ruined more writers than hooch. . . . Luck; The other fellow’s formula. . . Quotation Marksmanship: A. Karr: Friendship between two women is always a plot against each other. ; . . . A. Dumas: All women desire to be esteemed: they care much less about being respected. . . . H. Mur- j row: Washington, D. C., is the na- | tional headquarters of three parties —the Democratic, the Republican and the Cocktail. . . . Anon: Civili zation is the slow process of gradu ally falling in line with the visionary ideas of minorities. . . . M. C. Ban ning: A handsome man, carefully stored and refrigerated youth. NO PLAN FOR ARMY WASHINGTON. — After the last war, we let our best officers leave the army, were content to make the army a refuge for hundreds of mis fits who couldn’t adjust themselves in other walks of life, and settled down to complete complacency re garding the armed forces. Usually history repeats itself. After this war, however, there is a little less complacency regarding the future — thanks to Russia. But there is almost as much do nothingness regarding the internal organization of the army. President Truman has now de manded that we have a big peace time conscript army. But aside from Secretary of War Patterson’s healthy board for probing caste, no steps have been taken to reorgan ize the army’s long out-dated sys tem of promotions, its methods of selecting officers, and, perhaps most important of all, its system of eliminating misfits. A thorough re-organization of the army might make it more enticing to good men and there by eliminate conscription. Even Sen. Chan Gurney of South Dakota, most ardent conscrip tion enthusiast, will admit that a volunteer army is more effi cient than one composed of men who are forced to serve. * * * COULD USE HORSE MEAT An important debate has been tak ing place among food experts in side the administration regarding the use of horse meat for feeding Europe. Horse meat is a type of food which Americans know little about. Within Europe it is standard diet and certain countries, especially France and Belgium, have repeat edly informed the United States that they would like to buy more horse meat here. If two and a half billion pounds of horse meat could be sold to Europe — which is the amount available in the U. S. A.—it would take care of most of Europe’s feed ing problems and eliminate any need for U. S. A. rationing. Such a program has been urged by UNRRA officials and also by some experts in the army and navy. However, the plan has run up against sev eral snags, chiefly that of U. S. meat packers. The big packers don’t want the American public to get the idea that horse meat is processed in their plants. They fear that the suspicion would linger in the consumer’s mind. However, Harry Reed, who does most of the meat procurement for UNRRA in the department of agriculture, leans toward the big meat packers and they never have wanted small state packers to get into the inter-state business. HORSE MEAT FEEDS ZOOS Another source of opposition is ex pected to come from the many horse lovers throughout the country who probably would claim that the United States was being denuded of horses. Officials point out, however, that several hundred horses are slaugh tered weekly all over the United States to feed the zoos of the nation. Furthermore, the United States to day has a larger surplus of horses than ever before in history. Agricul ture department estimates are that three million surplus horses are now on the ranges and farms of the country. The grain which they alone consume would go a long way to ward feeding Europe. Officials estimate that these three million surplus horses would supply a total of two and a half pounds of meat, also give fats for soap, together with hides to ease the scarcity ^of leather. NOTE—While prices of almost ev erything tended upward during the war, the price of horses did not. Government buyers purchasing draft animals for UNRRA report that the country has thousands of four to six-year-old horses which have never been harnessed. Farm ers haven’t had time to break them in, would like to sell them if prices were right. . m 0 • BUMPTIOUS GENERAL VAUGHN Twelve years ago, famous Filipino Gen. Emilio Aguinaldo sent Presi dent Roosevelt a 9Vfe-foot carved table of Philippine hardwood de signed to serve as a cabinet table. The other morning, however, Brig. Gen. Harry Vaughn, White House military aide, hurrying through the White House lobby, bumped his knee on a buffalo. Promptly the four carved buffalo heads came off • • • CAPITAL CHAFF Secretary of Labor Schwellenbach is secretly considering resigning from the cabinet, in order to again run for the senate. Bernard Baruch is hopping mad at the state department for releas ing its report on atomic energy be fore he, Baruch, could make his own investigation. Baruch has ad mitted privately that the state de partment report is an excellent one. However, it’s not known as the “Baruch report”—which is impor tant to Bernie. MEMPHIS COTTON CARNIVAL TO REOPEN . . . Dedicated to the past, present and future of the cotton industry, the Memphis Cotton carnival will resume this year after bowing out to the war effort since 1941. Photograph shows previous carnival which will be outdone this year. The 1946 carnival will sparkle with a series of parades depicting growth of the Mid-South, lively street dances and songfests. Exhibits will show uses of cotton as well as new applications and artificial fibers and plastics. JAPANESE HOLD OPEN ELECTION ... An estimated 24,000,000 voters went to the polls in Japan to select representatives for a new national house of representatives. Unheard of—Japanese women exercised their right of suffrage. Typical of most voting places was the Votsuya ward office, Tokyo, where the women outnum bered the men. Final results will not be known for some time, but Red element has admitted defeat. UNCLE SAM’S OLDEST REGIMENT ... The color guard of the 3rd regiment, oldest in the U. S. army, with some members wearing the costumes of the Colonial wars, is shown during colorful ceremony at Heidelberg, Germany, which marked the de-activation of the 7th army under Lt. Gen. Geoffrey Keyes. GREECE HOLDS ELECTION ... A voter of the future looks over the array of posters put up by various parties and candidates to boost their chance in the recent Greek elections. In contrast to the bitterness of the pre-election campaign, the voting itself was quiet, with Com munists and left wing groups fighting a losing battle to persuade voters to boycott the election. Populist party won. SOVIET AMBASSADOR . . . Niko lai V. Novikov, present charge d’affairs in Washington, who haa been named to replace Andrei A. Gromyko as Soviet ambassador to the United States. Gromyko will remain with UNO. SEARCH OF TITLE . . . Billy Conn, Pittsburgh Adonis, who hopes to wrest the world’s heavy weight boxing crown from Champ ion Joe Louis, when they meet in New York in June. tll/TLL the coming Louis-Conr V V fight set a new record for gate receipts? There are more than two or three close to the fight game who don’t think so. It will be a sellout, but the idea is that the Yankee Stadium can’t match either Sol dier Field, Chicago, or the Sesquicen- tennial in Philadel phia. Here’s the low down from a gate receipts authority: “Mike Jacobs will charge $100 for ringside seats. He will scale the crowd down from that. I believe you will find the attendance somewhere be tween 90,000 and 100,000. My guess would be around $2,500,000, slightly below the second Tunney-Dempsey meeting in Chicago which drew $2,650,000.” Jacobs boasts that he will gross three million dollars on this fight. This sent us prowling into the rec ord book to check the leading money records of the game. Here they are: Tunney-Dempsey, Chicago, 1927— $2,650,000. Dempsey - Tunney, Philadelphia, 1926— $1,895,723. Dempsey-Carpentier, Jersey City, 1921—$1,626,580. Dempsev-Sharkey, New York, 1927— 81,083,529. Dempsev -Firpo, New York, 1923 -$1,082,590. Louis-Baer, New York, 1935— $948,352. Louis-Schmeling, New York, 1938 —$940,096. Tunney-Heeney, New York, 1928— $691,014. The first Louis-Conn fight in New York, 1941, drew only $451,743. There are two outstanding points in this financial roundup. The first is that Jack Dempsey figured in all the shows over $1,000,000, five al together. These five Dempsey fights hauled in $8,338,422. Dempsey altogether drew in some thing like $10,000,000 at the gate, far beyond any one else. It will also be noted that Dempsey drew huge amounts against four different oppo nents—Tunney, Carpentier, Sharkey and Firpo. Gene Tunney, with Dempsey out of the picture fell from $2,650,000 and $1,895,723 to $691,014 against Tom Heeney. The Louis Gate Record Joe Louis so far has been in 57 fights, but Joe has yet to know a million dollar gate. Here are his five best financial contests: Louis-Baer, New York, IbsS— $948,352. Louis-Schmeling, New York, 1938 —$940,096. Louis-Braddock, Chicago, 1937— $640,420. Louis-Nova, New York, 1941— $583,821. Louis-Schmeling, New York, 1936 -$547,372. The five top Louis fights are near ly five million dollars below the Dempsey count for the same num ber of contests. The Conn engage ment will be the first tune the Bomb er moves into the million-dollar row, and this time it is almost certain to be better than the $2,000,000 row. Whether it will reach $3,000,000 is another guess. So far Louis has drawn in ap proximately $5,000,000 at the gate; 37 per cent of this xmount is about $1,850,000. Even if split evenly with his managers this should have left Joe over $900,000. Taxes have taken a terrific toll from this amount, but even so one begins to wonder how Louis could be in the red, so far as back debts go, for over $200,000 to the govern ment and Mike Jacobs. If you owe $200,000 today and make $2,000,000, your net will be about $180,000, and this still leaves you $20,000 shy. The best Louis can hope to collect in the Conn fight will be something about $ 900,000 and $1,000,000, so far as gate receipts go. What he will get from motion pic tures and television is still a guess. But when they stop lopping off 90 or 92 per cent, the residue won’t be any too ponderous to carry around. Dempsey and Tunney had better breaks. Tunney knocked over $900,- 000 or more for himself in 1927 at Chicago, but the income tax at that time was light—approximately 10 or 12 per cent. Both Dempsey and Tunney kept most of what they made, although the Mauler split SO SO with Jack Kearns before they said “farewell forever.” Those days now belong with the dodo and the great auk. Maybe you can make it today, but if you do— try to keep it. 0 0 0 Pennant Race Odds What should the proper and cor rect odds be on the two pennant races just ahead? A few dozen bookmakers gave me this: “We’ve made the Cardinals even money against the rest of the Na tional league. “The American league looks about as wide open as the Kentucky Derby. The Yankees and the Red Sox should be slightly favored. We rate them the better balanced teams. Billy Conn Too Bad, Too Bad The gipsy held the soldier’s hand and looked at the lines on it very earnestly. “Next week you will be a corporal,” she said impressively, “next month you will be a sergeant, and by the end of tbe year you will be a captain. You are very lucky.” “Not at all,” said the soldier. “I’m being discharged next week.” Promotion? “I’ve just been congratulating Colonel Blaze,” sauJ a guest at a luncheon. “He’s been appointed governor of a prison.” “Really?” asked his pretty neighbor. “Now, for a job like that does one need influence, or does one just start as a convict and rise from the ranks?” Sign in coal merchant’s window —We deliver coal a la cart or coal de sac. CLASSIFIED DEPARTMENT MISCELLANEOUS TASTE-OUT is guaranteed to eliminate onion and weed taste in milk. Package postpaid $1. Dealers write: Southern Prod ucts Co., Wallace Bldg., Greenville, S. C. WANTED TO BUY WANTED: RED CEDAR LOGS or lum ber. five or 10 feet long. F. O. Box 131 - Griffith. 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