The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, September 18, 1942, Image 3
THE SUN, NEWBERRY. S. C, SEPTEMBER 18. 1942
Kathleen Norris Says:
Let Your Daughter Find Freedom
Bell Syndicate—WNU Features.
My mother suggests that Lee and 1 come to her for dinners at regular boarding
rates; but that would mean marketing, and dishtvashing on the old terms, except
that we would be paying more than we aan afford.
By KATHLEEN NORRIS
OW much claim have an
old father and mother
upon the time, money,
youth, happiness of their chil
dren? It’s an old question, nev
er to be satisfactorily answered,
for even when it’s all reasoned
out, human hearts will solve it
as affection and weakness and
filial obedience dictate, and
elderly tyrants will cpntinue to
have things their own way.
Nina is 28; she has been the
main support of a family of
four for eight years. For six
of those years she has been engaged
to be married; her husband-to-be
is a young doctor with no very bril
liant prospects; Nina has no money
saved and they are wondering
whether they dare take the chance
of marrying, with the possibility of
obligations to his old people and hers
staring them in the face.
“My father died last May, after
years of invalidism,” writes Nina.
“My mother is a strong capable
woman of 66, but she has bad eyes,
cannot read, and lives in constant
fear that blindness will overtake her.
My little sister Bessy went to State
Normal college as I did, and I ex
pected that her salary as a teach
er would help out at home, but she
married very young and now has
three small babies, though she is
only 23.
Uncle Assists.
“My uncle pays taxes and insur
ance on our little cottage, amount
ing to about $200 a year; I pay
everything else. With my father’s
insurance money I have turned our
two front rooms into a separate
apartment, with a bath and kitchen.
This is already rented for $40 a
month. Bessy cannot help my moth
er; Lee, my sweetheart, makes
$1,500 a year as a resident at the
hospital, and is beginning to have
a few private patients; not a very
good chance that I could help my
mother either, in any crisis.
“I am sick with longing for my
own home,” the letter goes on. “It
is misery for a man and woman
who love each other to put off again
and again the time of their happi
ness together, and we have grown
weary and impatient, sometimes to
the point of almost breaking with
each other, during these long years.
I have not had money for pretty
things, for the holidays we might
have had together; I have worn my
cousins’ clothes, schemed and wor
ried to make ends meet until I feel
like an old woman.
“My mother says now that she
cannot possibly manage on $40 a
month, that I must go on teaching
until Lee’s income warrants our
leaving her. Lee says that a doc
tor’s wife cannot possibly be a
teacher, that it is too much of a
strain on our nerves. There is no
money for a trousseau, and even
with the most modest little apart
ment, there must be good manag
ing on our small income.
“I want so to be happy, to be
loved and free and able to rest in
my home as other women do! I
want so to pay Lee back for these
generous years of waiting! But on
the other hand, there is my moth
er, and my aunts assure me that
they would not be surprised if she
were to be taken ill and die as a
result of the shock of my leaving.
No Vacation in Five Years.
“It is five years since I have had
any vacation except the Christmas
vacation, for I teach in summer at
a woman’s college. My mother is
BAD COMPANY
The memories of unfulfilled
ambitions and lost opportunities
make the worst kind of company
and are certainly not a desirable
substitute for the joy of accom
plishment. The woman who
faces middle age with only “if’
and “when” and “but” to show
for the things she might have
done with her youth faces also
the prospect of an unhappy old
age filled with regrets. That is
why Kathleen Norris has written
this message to young girls and
their mothers who love them but
will not let them go. Be sure to
read her answer to this letter
from a girl who has been en
gaged for six years.
a good cook, and she suggests that
Lee and I come to her for dinners
at regular boarding rates, but that
would mean marketing and dish
washing for me on the old terms, ex
cept that we would be paying $60 a
month—more than we could afford
unless I went on teaching. I am so
perplexed between them all I
don’t know what to do; I long to get
away from everything, and wish Lee
could get an offer from some far
away city and I could simply walk
out on the routine and drudgery, re
sponsibility and worry that have
been mine so long!”
The chances are that the capable,
affectionate mother is making quite
a martyr of herself, just widowed
and with Bessy married and now
Nina deserting her! And the chances
are also that she would tell you
that her whole purpose in living was
to make life easier for her girls and
contribute, at any sacrifice, to their
happiness.
Such mothers never look back and
remember just how little their own
mothers’ plans and desires mat
tered to their own youth. They
stepped off happily into matrimony;
they took it for granted that every
young woman has a right to her own j
life.
And so she has. If Nina’s mother
has to take boarders, let them be
boarders other than Nina and Lee.
Nina and Lee have a right to pri
vacy, to the delights of their own
home, no matter how small and
plain it is. Coming every day to
the same old dining-room for din
ner, hearing the same old problems
of leaking faucets or broken win
dow-blinds, what freedom is Nina
going to enjoy? She will wipe the
same old dishes, answer the old tele
phone, sit down to the same two
games of cribbage just as she has
done for years.
Mother Owes Apology.
Nina has given enough of her life
to her old people. It is her mother
who ought to be grieving, who ought
to be apologetic that she has man
aged her affairs so badly that this
splendid daughter isn’t to have a
pretty wedding, an outfit of lovely
new clothes with which to go to her
husband.
My advice to Nina is to get mar
ried at once, and let her helpless
mother, her criticizing aunts, and
her generous cousins and uncle set
tle all the problems that her mar
riage causes at home. Doctors
have a way of prospering, and doc
tors’ wives are fortunate women,
because the incessant tragedies and
responsibilities of the greatest pro
fession teach a man the value of
home life, serenity, affection, child
hood. The years ahead will be kind
er to Nina than those that have
gone; hers has been the sort of girl
hood that makes for a happy and
grateful maturity.
Old/
FOR,
Victor:
AT
Tireslone
To
< i
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4
THIS SURE TASTES SWELL! ^ THATS BECAUSE!
BUT WHATS ALL THIS ABOUT OF THEY* AST
MORE VITAMINS? NEVER / I USED-
HEARD OF EM IN COFFEE 0 LElSCHMAMN S.',
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YOU MEN.' OF COURSE NOT/
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