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THE SUN, NEWBERRY, S. C, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1940 Kathleen Norris Says: Hands Off the Men and Women Who Were Your Children (Bell Syndicate—WNU Service.) When she answers the phone. Mother says, “If it*s the Brown boy tell him you can go to the movie; and if it 9 s Allan, for pity's take, don't gush at him," By KATHLEEN NORRIS OMETIME before this year gets too old it might be a good idea to try to stop living your chil dren’s lives for them. Not for the children’s sake, pri marily, though for that, too. But for your own sake, you young moth ers and older mothers and grand mothers, it is worth while to sit down for a few minutes, and seri ously consider just what your rela tionship with the younger generation really is. Begin by remembering what YOU thought of the grown-ups, when you were 16 and 20 and 25. You loved them and were grateful to them for years of kindness and care—and you wanted to get them and their timid, old-fashioned ideas out of the way as rapidly as possible, and begin the glorious business of living your own life. There comes a moment in the life of every girl of 15 or 16 when her -mother says something like this to her: “That’s the telephone, Joan. And if it’s the Brown boy you tell him that you can go to the movie, but you have to come straight home afterward, and if it’s Allan for pity’s sake don’t gush at him as if he were the only boy in the world, and stop chewing that gum!” There comes a time in the life of every boy of 17 or 19 when his moth er says something like this to him: “I cannot understand what you like about that Tom; he isn’t the sort friend I like you to have at all. He’s nice enough, but so ordi nary! Now if you do go out tonight I want you to be back here by 11; you’re making far too much fuss about this silly club of yours, any way, you’ll be off after something else in a few weeks. And be sure to telephone and ask that nice Baker girl to go with you to the dance. Her mother is president of our club and she’s really a lovely girl, only shy and quiet.” It Makes No Impression. Both son and daughter listen, and say, “Yes, mom,” respectfully, and go" their ways no more impressed by all the maternal fussing than are the sparrows in the garden bushes. They know, if mother and dad don’t, that the rules that form their characters and will guide their con duct through life are far more fun damental than anything that mother can call from the kitchen or dad shout from upstairs. What they have of self-control, fineness, courage with which to meet life, wisdom in choosing amusements and occupa tions, was given them long before they reached their present ages. They are a man and a woman at 16 and 19, and in their secret hearts they are merely annoyed or bored by parental control. The girl who has had a good, gentle, intelligent mother back of her for all her 18 years will keep her heart at home, entertain there, be proud to have her friends share her own life. The girl whose parents have themselves had small interest in home, have taken no pains to create a harmoni ous atmosphere there, have not stud ied her personality and built about her a rampart of friendships and hospitalities, mustn’t be surprised if she makes her escape at the first possible minute, and perhaps breaks her heart and wrecks her life in the Process. . Some mothers carry their passion for management straight on into their children’s married lives, as does this Des Moines woman, whose letter lies on my desk this morn- ^“My only son made an extremely unwise marriage,” she writes. “His wife is handsome, and her family well-to-do, but she is a cold, selfish, hard girl, and the miseries I have suffered for my affectionate, gentle boy only a mother can know! But the real tragedy is their child, Phyl- DANGER—KEEP OUT C. ■'1 n attempt to stop living your chil dren’s lives for them is worth trying, in the opinion of Kathleen Norris. C. She feels that far too many parents lake too active an interest in the affairs of the younger generation. C. Such an interest not only makes the young people more dependent but in some cases the effect is equally bad upon the parents themselves. C. Lives are more successful, character is stronger, when children follow fun damental rules of good behavior rather than paying strict attention to hasty words shouted down the stairs or out the doorway and as youth goes out for its enjoyment. C. Carrying a mother’s passion for child management straight on into their children’s married lives is a dan gerous mistake. 0. Living one’s own life in one’s own way—that is one of the most exciting privileges and shining goals of living at all. ♦ lis, now seven years old. Bud would have liked other children, I know, but Gladys has made herself a regu lar martyr for having had one. He still praises her and pets her for going through that ordeal, ‘for his sake.’ Seldom Sees Granddaughter. “Little Phyllis has a colored girl for a nurse, and even when she was quite a baby she would be banished by her mother to the nurse’s compa ny; rules were rules and hours were hours, and no matter how much spoiling Bud lavished on his wife, the baby was not to be spoiled. She is an exquisite child, but I almost never see her. If I offer to take her for a Saturday there is always some other plan, and Gladys thanks me and hangs up the telephone and that’s that. “Bud’s wife spends much too much money, is very extravagant, drags him to parties when he should be sleeping, refuses social connec tions that would be valuable to his business, and altogether does all she can to wreck his life. And I have to stand by and see all my hopes for him disappointed, see nim missing other high possibilities that might have been his, all for this woman. No, there is no quarrel between us, but if he ever quotes to her my oc casional—my very rare—advice to him, she must know perfectly well what I think of her.” I wouldn’t quote this letter if it were not typical of many. To this dissatisfied mother and many an other I can say only that no one of us, no matter how clever, can form the slightest idea of what happiness or unhappiness, what hopes or fears compose our children’s lives. Bud may be completely happy with his Gladys. Gladys may secretly adore her small child, and only put on the stern indifferent manner to madden Bud’s everlastingly fussy mother. Discipline may be the thing that will give little Phyllis a fine unself ish character as she grows up. Mother Should Keep Out. Only time will bring the answer. f }ut the one thin" that loving', fear- ul, jealous motherhood won’t allow is time. Bud belonged entirely to his mother for a few happy years; she is not strong enough nor wise enough to admit that those years are gone. By criticism and inter ference she has lost whatever influ ence she might have had upon Glad ys, and destroyed whatever affec tion might have grown between them. What she ought to do now is KEEP OUT. Let them alone. And if she really yearns to be a good grand mother to some small girl, let her pick that child from an orphanage and do for her everything she would like to be doing for Phyllis. She’ll find this a cure for her heartache. GENERAL HUGH S. JOHNSON BRITISH TOM-TOMS CLEVELAND, OHIO.—Here we go again. The U. P. quotes the British Bishop of Ely: “Unless there is some change in the minds of na tions, I cannot see any hope for the future of the world in the rest of this century.” He is not directly quoted as to who he thinks should repent, but he earlier strongly hinted: “If I were a citizen of the United States I would not have an easy conscience. Just standing aside and doing noth ing when a great struggle for liberty is progressing, doing nothing but getting rich quick in the supply of munitions to those engaged in slaughter would not give me an easy conscience.” Same Old Chant. It is a faithful reproduction of the constantly increasing priestly incan tations which helped push us into the Great War of 1917. It is a form of incitation known to our ancestors ever since they began walking on their hind legs—the tom-tom beating and voo-doo death masks of the Af rican medicine men, the ululations to some Sitting Bull in a Sioux sun dance, and the Allah-Il-Allah of ev ery Arab incursion from Mohammed to the Mad Mullah. We seem also to be going jura- mentado about “leetle Finland,” and China—not so “leetle” but plen ty communistic. We are going to lend money to both knowing pretty well that it will never be repaid and that the Finnish loan is made as a subterfuge. We got all heated up in the same way about the “leetle Japs” in their war with Russia and they turned around and ever since have been kicking us in the pants if our face was turned and stepping on our corns if it wasn’t. Then we actually jumped and shot the works about “leetle Belgium.” To Hush Things Up. These are not the only parallels. Press reports say that our state de partment isn’t going to write Eng land any more tart notes about in terfering with our rights on the high seas, or make public the instances >.i which she does interfere, but just settle all such quietly—allee samee Walter Hines Page, Colonel House and Robert Lansing. Why not make public these impertinences and our record of protest, if any—unless Sen ator Borah was right and the state department is just a British em bassy. No Service to U. S. We also threaten to embargo trade with Japan and sever diplo matic relations with Russia. Both threats greatly serve Allied inter ests. But what American interest do they serve? It is 1916 and 1917 all over again, except that we are moving much more rapidly in the same direction. Another World war parallel is ap parent in word that the Allies are financing extensions to a powder works for their exclusive use to manufacture explosives and that the aircraft manufacturing companies will make aircraft only if the nec essary plant expansion is paid for by their customers and only on cost- plus contracts. We can’t blame them for that in view of the uncertainties and threats of inflation, but this also is an echo of the World war and at least one of the causes of our entry and also of the disastrous sky-rocketing of prices that preceded it. ‘Easy’ Conscience. I suppose that we are such suck ers that nothing that can be said can save us but, to get back to the bishop of Ely. My conscience as a citizen of the United States rests a lot easier on our international rec ord of the past 23 years than would my conscience as a British subject —especially if I were a man of God like the bishop of Ely. * • • CONVENTIONS AND HUNCHES There was no doubt from the be ginning that Chicago would get the Democratic convention this year. Mr. Roosevelt, freely admitting his addiction to “hunches,” told friends long ago that it couldn’t be San Francisco, because that is where he was disastrously nominated for vice president in 1920. It couldn’t be Philadelphia, because he doesn’t be lieve in consecutive plays on the same card. Had to Be Chicago. It must be Chicago, because that is where he got his chance in 1932. It is the same system of choice used by taxi-drivers and beU-hops in playing policy or numbers—but Hitler uses it and so did Napoleon, Caesar and nearly all other great leaders who believed that their ends were shaped by some divinity. Convention talk is plenty. The “convention business” is a major American industry. The city of Cleveland alone estimated a take of many millions from its last year’s average of 350,000 delegates to various conventions. This inflow of money is all pure gravy to a convention city. It in- ;reases jobs, sales and other intake for a large part of the population ay filtering through the hotels, stores and other services to the in- iividuals who work at selling, serv- ng or producing. Sheerest Black Lace Is Used In Unique and Fetching Ways By CHERIE NICHOLAS INTO the story of modern costume design the black magic of exqui sitely sneer lace is writing a chap ter of fascinating interest. The lat est discovery about black lace is that instead of being “oldish” look ing, as we were once led to be lieve, it really is as flattering to the debutante as it is to the woman who registers in the “life-begins-at-for- ty” class. Note how artfully handsome black lace is introduced in the fashions pictured. If you are invited to an important function you could not make a more suitable choice than a gown of shimmering, crisp yellow taffeta jacketed with a basque of fine black lace beautifully fashioned and daintily transparent, as shown in the illustration, to the left. A flattering lace jacket of this type is a grand possession, for you can wear it with various costumes. Being high necked and having three-quar ter sleeves, it is not too formal for your “at home” receptions nor too informal for an important party elsewhere. The quaint use of wide black lace to border the yards and yards around hemline adds infinite ly to the chic of this adorable gown. With a dress so distinctive as this of course one will want a few superb jewels to flash forth fire and beauty. The ornament worn at the hairline in Hollywood style, is a new “headgem” worth noting, be ing a yellow diamond set in Spanish gold. It is suspended on a ribbon concealed under the curls. Milady also wears two white diamond bracelets and a yellow diamond ring. Each season certain jewelry vogues stand out pre-eminently in the mode and the immediate style message is diamonds, a single fine jewelry unit rather than a bizarre showing of costume jewelry. A most attractive use of black lace is that of a yoke that gives flat tering transparency to an afternoon gown of sheer wool- crepe or what ever the fabric of your dressy black frock. See the idea illustrated to the right in the group. Ladies, take notice if your clothes allowance is limited and you like to sew here is a grand suggestion for fixing over a dress that calls for restyling. Give it a dainty lace yoke. The brimmed turban that tops this charming lace- yoked dress is one of a collection of lovely white hats that are high fashion. It is made of white silk jersey draped softly over the brow to give the appearance of a brim. The quaint silhouette of the 1890s distinguishes the attractive dinner gown centered in the illustration. This stunning dress of black Rodier wool fits slimly to the figure, flaring only toward the floor where it ends in a lace flounce. A bustle illustra tion is achieved by a black velvet bow securing folds of the material. The sleeves are elbow-length with the fashionable “pushed-up” look. Lace forms a deep inset covering the back decolletage and forming also a cowl-back hood which brought up over the head has the appear ance of a mantilla. (Released by Western Newspaper Union.) Ornate Detail Black and yellow braid in a scroll patterning has been used in a bolero fashion on an afternoon dress of teal blue sheer wool as pictured at the top. A broad girdle of self fabric forms the wide corselet. Her black hat has a blue snood at the back. A smart version of the separate blouse and skirt for informal eve nings is shown below. Embroidery and quilting on the white crepe blouse, the outline stitch done in gold thread is very effective. This two-piece is practi cal because either piece may be worn with another mate. This blouse would look well with a street length skirt for less formal occa sion. Braiding, embroidery and oth er ornate surface work continues to flourish in the spring mode. Flower Jewelry Is Harbinger of Spring If you want to feel the exuberance of spring tingle through your veins and if you want to cause others to feel just like that at sight of you, be one of the first to brighten your costume with an ensemble of enamel flower jewelry. One of the prettiest designs is a bib necklace made of yellow-centered white enamel daisies. And here’s good news—you can get bracelet and clips to match. With the new pastel frock you are wearing under your coat, a neck lace of pearl material blown up into featherweight colorful flowers will be delectable. These perfectly charming flower gadgets do wonders for black or navy frocks. And do these gaily colorful jewelry flowerets flatter! Well, just look in the mir ror and see. Spring Fabric-Call For Twill Effects “I will take so many yards of repp,” that’s the way our grand- mamas used to say it when they were buying material for the new suit or dress and the prospects are we are going to be saying just that as the spring season comes on. Repp is one of the worsteds that is being heralded as ever so fashion able for the coming months. In fact the trend is decidedly toward twill effects. There is every indication that navy will be com peting with black. So look for a season of handsome suits, coats and street one-piece dresses fashioned of seme one or other of the new twilled weaves. Amber Toned Frock Has Strong Appeal A delicate sheer fabric and heavy silk jersey, both in a creamy amber tone, are combined in a romantic evening gown designed by Edith Head. The dress itself is made of sheer silk, cut with a swirling cir cular skirt and a bodice styled like a basque sweater. The bodice is embroidered in ropelike bands of gold threads and the whole crea tion is worn over a slip of matching silk jersey. CLASSIFIED DEPARTMENT BABY CHICKS ■ABY CHICKS (Mixed HmvIm) No Cripples! No Culls! We guarantee ^ Live Delivery! We pay postage. aMk*-!«• AT*AS CHICK CO., St. Levis, Me. »’*»•** Continually BLOOD - TtSTlNO and BREKPB3& for Big Bggs. Fast Growth. Long Life and Aapl4 Feathering produces chicks of unusual Llyfr* bility. Growth. Fast Feathering and Unifonnitp, Wirite today for catalogue and price list MILFORD BREEDERS HATCHERY, Wkesrllle, P.0..RocM*ta,*l NURSERIES NURSERY STOCK: Fruit trees, big vahso. Order today 6 peaches or 3 apples or !•, grapes $1.00 plus 15c postpaid. Catalog; Free. Hood’s Nurseries, Richmond, YaJ EXCHANPE WILL EXCHANGE N. Y. OIL BUSINESSl desires country gas station tourist camp} I reason, ill health. LOUIS STRAUSS. 460 WATKINS ST., BROOKLYN, N. T. Strange Facts ! Globe-Circling Birds Utilizing Waste Heat A Powerful Fuel f Ornithologists and seamen hava good reasons to believe that most 1 albatrosses fly around the world, several times during the course of their lives. Incidentally, these) great birds, which can be buffeted; for days by ocean gales, become very seasick when standing on the deck of a moving ship. In a new South Dakota flour min. the heat generated by friction in the grinding machine is so great that the heated air it creates. 1 drawn off by a fan and washed, is sufficient to heat the entire six- story building, except in very cold weather, =5825=3 A number of American lawyers not only handle the legal affairs of their clients, but are also request ed to take charge of such personal details as buying and furnishing homes, advising on marriage part ners, paying bills and even select ing servants. 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