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McCORMICK MESSENGER, McCORMICK. S. C.. THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21, 1937 JVecrs Review of Current Events HOW TO CHECK JAPAN? United States Doesn't Wish to Take the Lead • • • No Peace in Labor Ranks Hull, Davis and Welles Goins to Confer With President. V M SUMMARIZES THE WORIiT SUMMARIZES THE WORLD’S WEEK © Western Newspaper Union. May Meet in Brussels H OW far President Roosevelt is willing to go in the effort to stop Japan in China is what other powers, especially Great Britain, are eager to know. The people of ^ the United States also would like to be informed in that matter. The British statesmen wish America to take the lead, and also they would like the suggested conference of the nine-power treaty signatories to be held in Washington. This latter sug gestion is definitely opposed in our Capital, and so it was believed Brussels might be selected as the meeting place. Cities in Switzer land also were considered. Mr. Roosevelt, who conferred with Secretary of State Hull, Undersecre tary Sumner Welles and Norman Davis, his roving ambassador, was represented as being strongly averse to taking a solitary lead in the action to check the Japanese. Apparently he preferred that the “quarantining” of nations guilty of “international lawlessness” which he proposed in his Chicago speech should be limited to a united inter national moral stand. The National Council for Preven tion of Wax', representing a part of the extreme peace sentiment in the United States, announced that its annual meeting had declared for im mediate invocation of the neutrality law which the President has not seen fit to put in operation. The council was strongly against a boy cott on Japanese goods, believing this would only aggravate the situ ation. ^ • Japan Denies Violations TN A formal reply to the charges of treaty violation the Tokyo for eign office flatly denied responsibili ty for the Sino-Japanese conflict and asserted that China, not Japan, had violated the treaties. The anti-Jap- anese attitude and the mobilizing of Chinese troops, said the statement, forced Japan to take military ac tion, entirely in self-defense. Japan disclaimed any desire to annex parts of Chinese territory, and de clared the accusing nations misun derstand the situation. Italy Supports Japanese 'T'HERE was considerable doubt whether Italy would take part in the Pacific treaty conference, but it was assumed that if it did, it would defend the course pursued by Japan in China and would do what it could to frustrate the designs of the other conferees. This was assured by the message con veyed to the Tokyo government by Gia- cinto Auriti, Italian ambassador to Ja pan. According to a Japanese news agency, Auriti promised Kensuke Horinouchi, Japanese vice foreign minister, that “Italy will never spare general support to Japan.” —*— Japs \A(ln Big Baffle D ISPATCHES from Shanghai said the Japanese forces in north China had won a big victory in Hopei province, breaking through the Chinese lines at Shichiachuang on a vital railway after three days of fierce fighting. However, the Chi nese claimed to have strengthened their positions in that region and it was reported the communist eighth route army 'was heavily attacking the rear and flank of the Japanese columns in Shansi province. Neutral observers thought the Japanese conquest of North China would soon be complete. In Tokyo Prince Konoye, the pre mier, formed a supremq war coun cil of national leaders. Japan’s plan to set up an autono- Giacinto Auriti John L.Lewis contemptible’ mous republic comprising the five northern provinces is revealed in the Tokyo press. The capital is to be Peiping under its old name of Peking. —— No Peace for Labor AX/'AR between the rival factions ^ ^ in American organized labor is not going to cease in the near future. The C. I. O. leaders gathered in Atlantic City for their first “war council,” and John L. Lewis, their chief, revealed plans for setting up a permanent dual organization. He condemned the sus pension of the C. I. O. unions from the American Federa tion of Labor as “cowardly and and said those unions considered themselves now out of the federation and awaited any further action by the federation with complete indifference. In the federation convention at Denver it was taken for granted that the ten C. I. O. unions would be finally expelled, and President Green announced plans for the attack on the rival organization in several great fields. The first vigorous blow will be struck on the Pacific coast in a drive to organize workers in the cannery and agricultural field. The second battle ground will be among the white collar workers gen erally, and an effort to offset the C. I. O. maritime groups on the Pacific coast was considered. One of the speakers in Denver was Senator George L. Berry of Tennessee. He has kept his press men’s union within the federation, although he was closely associated with Lewis in “Labor’s Non-Parti san league.” Berry maintained his seat on the fence, wishing success to the federation organization cam paign, and also to the organizing efforts of “others.” More TVA's Opposed /~\NE of the bills which President Roosevelt wants congress to push through in the expected special session is the measure introduced by Senator Norris creating seven more TVA’s to preserve and develop nat ural resources throughout the coun try. The bill was approved by a senate subcommittee, but publica tion of hearings held by the house committee on rivers and harbors shows that interested departments of the government oppose the plan. In these' published hearings the Department of Agriculture especial ly excoriated the authority idea, saying that “it would permit and seems even to propose duplication by the conservation authorities of a large part of the work of the Department of Agriculture.” The Treasury department objected to construction, operation, and main tenance of sewage and industrial waste disposal plants by federal au thorities working “independent of and not subject to health laws of the respective states.” The Department of Justice “pre ferred” not to offer any suggestion. The Department of Labor reported “no specialized knowledge” of flood control and conservation. Court Upholds Black C'OR the present, at anj 4 Hugo L. Black’s seat on thl preme court bench is secure. T court refused to permit Alb< Levitt, former federal judge in 1 Virgin Islands, and Patrick Her Kelly of Boston to contest the gality of Black’s appointment. I ruling was announced by Chief Ji tice Hughes, who said the two m did not have sufficient interest the litigation. Levitt indicated might start other proceedings. The Place of Radio. S ANTA MONICA, CALIF.— “Deke” Aylesworth says radio can never displace news-j papers. “Deke” is with Roy; Howard’s newspapers now and naturally wouldn’t care to have his job shot out from under him by a loudspeaker. Most of us feel that way about our jobs, un less we happen to be working in some state institution, such as a penitentiary. Radio never can displace news papers any more than milk-tickets can displace milk. The newspaper reader chooses what he pleases frofti the day’s coverage— gratifying obituary notices of people he didn’t like; convinc ing statements from financial wizards ex plaining why his in vestments turned sour after he’d bought them on ad- i rv i n g. Cobb vice of aforesaid wizards; and, about once in so oft- ten, exciting special articles about the Hope diamond or the William Desmond Taylor case or the lure of Mr. Robert Taylor. But, the lis tener-in on radio must accept what somebody else already has predi gested, which puts him in the same class with tapeworms. So long as you can’t wrap up a picnic lunch in a radio or use short wave sets to line pantry shelves with, we’ll have newspapers. Thanks, “Deke,” I’m working for a string of newspapers myself. • • * The League’s New Head. TAKE back all I ever said about the League of Nations being as futile as a fly swatter in a saloon brawl. The league has a new president— the Aga Khan, who has the largest private income on earth because 40,000,000 Mohammedans regard him as divine and pay for the priv ilege, often going hungry in order to do so. And he certainly is quali fied to head a society dedicated to peace—he never parted from any of his wives except with the utmost harmony. Well, to celebrate his election, the Aga Khan gave the most gorgeous banquet ever staged in Geneva— 1,500 bottles of champagne and 300 pounds of caviar. Thus did the league justify its right to existence. There were but few flies in the ointment. Ethiopia’s delegates were either deceased or missing, the league having drawn the color line, so to speak, which was more than Mussolini did when he wiped out their country last year. Spain’s delegates likewise were ab sent, being mostly dead or else fighting one another. i * * * Sick Calls De Luxe. AT O’BRIEN, the actor, tells this one about an Irish cop at the crossing who waved a car contain ing three priests to proceed after the stop signal had gone up and then, with harsh words, checked an other driver who sought to follow along, too. “But you let that other car with those three clergymen in it go through,” protested the halted one. “They was on their way to a sick call,” stated the officer. “Now wait a minute,” said the citizen. “I happen to be a Catholic myself and I know about those things. Who ever heard of three priests going on one sick call?” For a moment only the policeman hesitated. Then he snapped: “Say, young feller, tell me this, you that knows so* much—did you never hear of a solemn high sick call?” • • * French Slickers. OLICE are still trying to round up the slickers who, in one day, raided twenty-nine banks scattered all over France. This reminds a fellow of 1931, when the bank ex aminers were coroners simultane ously sitting on the mortal remains of an even larger number of Amer ican banks, the main difference be ing that these French banks were looted by outside parties. According to dispatches, this job was accomplished through fraudu lent credentials for strangers pre senting forged drafts. But I beg leave to doubt that part, remem bering when I turned up at various outlying points over there with prop er identifications and a perfectly good letter of credit. What excite ment then on the part of the cashier (spade beard) and what deep dis tress for the president (trellis whiskers) and what stifled moans from the board of directors (assort- sd beavers) when, finally, they had to fork over. Why you can wreck a perfectly good bank here in less time than it takes to get a certified check for $9.75, less exchange, cashed in a French provincial bank. But should it develop that any of these recently stolen francs were earmarked for payment to us on ac count of that war debt—brethren, that would indeed be news. IRVIN S. COBB. C—WNU Service. Historic Hoaxes 88 By ELMO SCOTT WATSON © Western Newspaper Union. The Joke’s on Him XXT'HEN Joe Miller, a famous ’ ^ English comedian of the Eight eenth century, died in August, 1738, it was discovered that his widow re ceived as her legacy naught but memories of an amiable and faith ful, but improvident, husband. Thereupon a certain publisher named T. R&ad, a shrewd fellow of speculative tendencies, engaged a man named John Mottley to gather together all the current jests of the day and set them in type. Soon afterwards there appeared in the bookstalls of London a volume which bore this imposing title: “Joe Miller’s Jests, or the Wits Vade Mecum. Being a Collection of the most Brilliant Jests; the Politest Repartees; the most Elegant Bon Mots, and most pleasant short Sto ries in the English Language. First carefully collected in the Company, and many of them transcribed from the Mouth of the Facetious Gentle man, whose Name they bear; and now set forth and published by his Lamentable Friend and former Companion, Elijah Jenkins, Esq. Most Humbly Inscribed to those Choice-Spirits of the Age, Captain Bodens, Mr. Alexander Pope, Mr. Professor Lacy, Mr. Orator Henley, and Job Banker, the Kettle-Drum mer.” The book was immediately popu lar and was followed by an endless succession of “Joe Miller” joke books. As a result, the name “Joe Miller” became firmly fixed in the consciousness of the English-speak ing races as a synonym for “joke” and even today many of the wise cracks of the funny men of the stage, screen and radio are credit ed to him, especially when their audiences groan instead of laugh! But the joke of it all is this: this man who, for two centuries, has been regarded as the King of Jesters, was a solemn fellow who not only never joked in his life (except when repeating his lines on the stage) but was utterly unable to see the point of a joke when it was told him by other men. • • • Antiquarian Discovery A RE you one of those who be- lieve that “the English have no sense of humor”? If so, read this confession which appeared in a Lon don newspaper trade journal back in 1875: An editor man is very sore (the wound is too new to allow of names being mentioned) at having recentiy been thoroughly hoaxed. A copy of an ancient inscription was sent for inser tion to a local, the original of which was professedly taken from a stone found in excavating the foundations for some new buildings in Queen Victoria street. The following note accompanied it and with the inscription duly ap peared: “I enclose copy ot an inscription In mediaeval Latin from a stone discovered during the excavations in Queen Vic toria street, where as you doubtless are aware, there formerly stood a church dedicated to a Saxon saint and missionary, of whom many traces and relics still exist. He is known to the monkish chroniclers by the name of Uncatus Ambulans. "Perhaps a copy might be suitable for your well-known and extensively-read pa per and some of your antiquarian read ers may be able to supply a transla tion.’’ I.SABILL1 HOERES AGO. .FORTIBUS ES.IN.ARO. NOSCE .MARI. THEBE.TRUX .VOTIS INNEM . . . PES.AN.DUX. A metrical translation was forwardeo next day. and was Inserted with a note that "w' knew all the time it was a hoax, and only Inserted it as a Joke." but those who saw Arthur Just after he received the translation, say they cannot reconcile his look of agonized horror and the awful profanity of his language with his public explanation. “Inscription on stone discovered on the site of church of St. Walker, called by the monkish chroniclers, "Uncatus Ambuians" (Hookey Walker). "I say. Billy, here’s a go. Forty buses in a row. No, see Mary! they be trucks; Vot is in ’em? Peas and Ducks." * • • “Massacre at Empire City’* T HE silver mining business was booming in Nevada and her neighbor, California, was beginning to be more than a little jealous of her prosperity, especially since so many Californians were investing heavily in Nevada mining stock. So the newspapers in that state began advising the public to dispose of its Nevada stock and invest in Cali fornia gold mines. And then one day a shocking story appeared in the Virginia City (Nev.) Territorial Enterprise. It seems that a man in Empire City had followed the advice of the “for eign papers.” Then, remorseful over his treason to home town industry and home town prosperity, he had killed himself, his wife and their nine children. The story caused a sensation not only in Nevada but in every part of the country to which the tele graph wires carried it. Then the newspaper man who wrote the story of this “massacre” revealed that it was all a fake, written solely to point a “trade-at-home” moral. Years later he confessed, “The idea that anybody could ever take my massacre for a genuine occur rence never once suggested itself to me, hedged about as it was by all those tell-tale absurdities and impossibilities.” But such was his genius in telling a plausible story that the public did accept it un hesitatingly. His name was Mark Twain. GOOD TASTE World's Foremost Authority on Etiquette © Emily Post. Cutting Wedding Cake Calls for Real Skill TA EAR Mrs. Post: I was at a very miniature wedding reception recently. In fact, there were only ten persons present. But it was one of the loveliest after-wedding par ties I have ever known. It was late afternoon and almost dark, the dining table was set with a lace cloth and candelabra, there was a small bride’s cake ornamented with the wedding couple’s first names and a bride and groom figurine set on top, and there was champagne to drink the traditional toasts. Unlike all other weddings at which I have been, at this one I sat close enough so tha't I could watch the wedding cake being cut, and I never be fore realized that this could be such a task. The bride pierced the cake with the point of the blade but when she tried to bring the side of the blade down through the cake, the slice broke into many pieces. One of the guests took the knife then but her luck was just about the same. I have wondered since the wedding whether there was any right way to cut a wedding cake, or is it, as in this case, just a matter of chance? Answer: Of course you don’t tell me whether the cake was not very fresh, or perhaps the knife very dull. In any case, the best way to* cut wedding cake is to spear it first and with the knife in this same point down position, continue to stab the slice all the way across. If after the first stab is made, the knife blade is brought down as though it were a lever, the piece invariably crumbles even though the blade is very sharp. • • • Write Note of Thanks to Sympathetic Friends TA EAR Mrs. Post: Is it proper to acknowledge notes sent in sym pathy with a thank you card? I be lieve that friends and acquaintances should eventually be thanked by note no matter what the extent of their expressions of sympathy, but my daughter feels that for slighter expressions a printed form could be used. In fact, she thinks that these times, and birthday and anniver sary occasions are the only ones when printed cards of thanks would be suitable. Will you give us your opinion. Answer: In return for a card an other card is suitable. But thanks for a present or a real favor or any thing as serious as a letter of con dolence must be answered by a note or at least a handwritten message. Sympathy shown to a family in deep mourning can be answered with fewest handwritten words on a vis iting card. This limited answer is obviously permitted because of the effort that any longer reply would be to one in sorrow. Moreover, less near members of the family may write in the places of those most nearly concerned. * • • Mourning Husband 9 s Death F) EAR Mrs. Post: I have lost my ^ husband and will shortly leave to make my home with a sister on the West Coast. (1)1 would like to' send a written note of resignation to a local club of which 1 have always been a member and wish you would suggest what I write. (2) Also, will you tell me whether it would be in correct to wear black satin slippers with a black dinner dress while I am wearing mourning? I find it im possible to get suede ones that are comfortable. Answer: (1) You write to the sec retary of the club, wording your note more or less like the follow ing: “Dear Mrs. Green: Owing to the changed circumstances in my life and the uncertainty of my ever returning to XX-town to live, it is with very deep regret that I must ask you to present my resignation at the next meeting of the board of governors. Sincerely, Mary K. Blank.” (2) Black satin is not suit able for mourning but any dull silk would take the place of suede. • • • Birthday Gift Puzzle, TA DAT Mrs. Post: My sister knd * I are invited to the birthday party of a neighbor’s son. Mother and this neighbor are dear friends but we hardly know the son. Are we each supposed to take birthday presents to the party? We always take presents to other birthday par ties but in those cases we knew the hostess or host very well. And yet we would hate to arrive at the party the only ones to be empty-handed. V/hat do you suggest that we do? Answer: If I were you I would take a trifling present from both of you together—not because it is nec essary, or even customary to take a present to one whom you scarcely know, but because he is the son of your mother’s friend. • • • Teacher on Telephone. r\ EAR Mrs. Post: When a teacher ^ announces herself on the tele phone, to a student I mean, what is the proper form? Answer: “This is Miss Green” or “This is Mr. Blakely.” WNU Service. ^Tavotite fteecijae ofi the I^RESH fruit pies are always " good, but fresh grape pies are worthy of superlatives in descrip tion. The thickening may be corn starch, eggs, flour or tapioca, de pending upon preference. Tapioca is suggested in this recipe. Grape Pie. 3Y2 cups prepared grap/es 2Va tablespoons quick-cooking tapioca \\ teaspoon salt IV4 cups sugar Wash and stem the grapes. Press the pulp from the skins with the fingers. Simmer pulp slowly until soft, then press through sieve to remove the seeds. Com bine 3\'a cups of pulp and skins together with salt, sugar and tapioca and let stand for 15 minutes. Place rolled pas try in pie pan. Fill pan with grape mix ture. Moisten edge of pastry and fold in ward, even with the edge of the pan. Moisten edge again and place top pastry on pie. Press edges together with a fork ar.d trim off surplus crust. Bake in hot oven (425 degrees) for fifteen minutes. Decrease heat to 350 degrees, moderate heat, and bake about twenty-five minutes longer. CARRY YOUR ALKAUZER WITH YOU The fastest way to **alkalize" is to carry your alkalizer with you. That’s what thousands do now that genuine Phillips’ comes in tiny, peppermint flavored tablets — in a flat tin for pocket or purse. Then you are always ready. Use it this way. Take 2 Phillips* tablets — equal in “alkalizing” effect to 2 teaspoonfuls of liquid Phillips* from the bottle. At once you feel “gas,” nausea, “over crowding” from hyper-acidity be gin to ease. “Acid headaches,” “acid breath,” over-acid stomach are corrected at the source. This is the quick way to ease your own distress — avoid offense to others. False Flattery People generally despise where they flatter and cringe to those whom they desire to supersede.— Marcus Aurelius. U DE N'S MENTHOL COUGH DROPS HELP BALANCE YOUR ALKALINE RESERVE WHEN YOU HAVE A COLDI Room for Courtesy Life is not so short but that there is always room for courtesy. —Emerson. Do something about Periodic Pains Take Cardul for functional pains of menstruation. Thousands of wom en testify It has helped them. If Cardul doesn’t relieve your monthly discomfort, consult a physician. Don’t Just go on suffering and put off treatment to prevent the trouble. Besides easing certain pains, Car- dui aids In building up the whole system by helping women to get more strength from their food. Cardul la a purely vegetaole medicine which you can buy at the drug store and take at home. Pronounced "Card-u-i." Ask For BLUE STEEL OVERALLS "Big and Strong" SMALL SIZE 60c LARGE SIZE $1.20 Brings Blessed Reli< from aches and pains of RHEUMATISM NEURITIS and LUMBAGO Try a bottle . . Why Suffer? AT ALL GOOD DRUG STORES