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i"S A Thursday, March 17, 1932 McCORMICK MESSENGER, McCORMICK, SOUTH CAROLINA BAYER ASPIRIN • • • is always SAFE BEWARE OF IMITATIONS Jjte/ticuicl ikiA. Headaches Colds Sore Throat Rheumatism Neuritis Neuralgia Lumbago Toothache Genuine Bayer Aspirin, the kind doctors prescribe and millions of users have proven safe for more than thirty years, can easily be identified by the name Bayer and the word genuine. Genuine Bayer Aspirin is safe, and sure; always the same. It has the unqualified endorsement of physicians and druggists every- where. It .doesn’t depress the heart. No harmful after-effects follow its use. - ) Bayer Aspirin is the universal * antidote for pains of all kinds. Aspirin is the trade-mark of Bayer manufacture of monoaceticacidester of Bayer n of salicyli icacid. Clio ' . - —USE— {ONSUBERS STOCK SALT ♦ A Highly Medicated Salt • Sg 535358 ■■■ ■ ■ FT ; i; /a , • . . . i ‘ ' / 4 « * . We issue without cost to the -consumer a guar - * . antee in which we pay all VETERINARY SURGEON BILLS c while using our product. Will eliminate worms from the hogs. .* Will increase the creamery check. Will pht-more beef on the feeders. COSTS only 4% cents per week to feed. ^ i r r ' aaegggs . For Details See: :T. W. LANHAM PLUM BRANCH, S. C. . . General Agent For Consumers Medicated Stock Salt ** • 7 * * 7 ... .... / SPECIAL $15.00 Plate, False TeetL, for $6.50 $50.0?) Hecdlite Plate, for $17.50 . jGuhranteed—Satisfaction or Your Money Back 30 Years Experience : J DR. N. S., EVANS, Dentist Broad and Eighth Streets, Augusta, Georgia ■PAINLESS PULLING EA|Y PAYMENTS 1,1;. ..-nQ ,,.m ' ^ The Chief Justice Meets Dolly mm 1 Mr*. Etfward Everett Gann, Vice-President Curtis's sister and head of hit domestic menage, in Colonial costume at the George Washington Bi centennial Ball, receives the compliments of Justice Charles Evans Hughes. • - * V THE FAMILY , DOCTORi JOHN JOSEPH GAINES. M.D. AN OLD-FASHIONED LETTER Somehow I feel like writing you an old-fashioned epistle this glor ious morning. Mind you, I’m not asking you to agree with every thing I say; while I feel absolutely sure I’m telling the truth, it does not mean that I am doing so; when you simmer a thing down to a solid base, the wisest of us may be telling the exact opposite—“there’s nothing true, but heaven.” • The pig is the healthiest animal I know of, taken as an individual species; I never heard of the hog being a tuberculosis-carrier. He dies of cholera—an epidemic disease. But, the hog has fewer diseases in his family than any other farm animal. The best pepsin comes from the peerless digestive tract of the pig! There are many, very many today, especially among our younger women, that throw up their hands in holy horror, if somebody men tions pork as an article of food! These individuals, if you look at them critically, are anaemic, thin-skinned, feeble-fingered, and aerv- r»us. You will find nine out of ten of them eat beef, if they have not already abandoned meats at the command of the faddists, and they are slowly paving the way for tuberculosis, or other serious disease— by lowering bodily resistance. I have seen the western farmer in pioneer days, eat cured ham and bacon all his life—remain in good working trim until too old,—and die of sheer old age. And I have seen the great army of weaklings develop right along with the advent of fresh beef, and its being almost forced upon people by physicians, who themselves have acquired ura emic poison and blood-pressure and tuberculosis, following the fresh beef fad. I may close this old-time message with the point I have in mind: There is no better strength-building, blood-making, body protecting food than well-cured bacon and ham! And, everybody who toils knows this. And everybody ought to toil for the earning of honest bread and meat. Now, turn up your nose if you must. WANTED: TEACHERS OF HUMOR I once had some correspondence with the alumnae secretary of a woman’s college, an estimable lady seeking to raise more money for her institution, which it well deserves. Our letters developed quite an interesting exchange of ideas on edu cation, until I made the mistake of sending this comment: “I am a believer in women’s colleges, and I think they receive much less than their rightful share of legacies and gifts. But I sometimes think they have pushed their scholastic standards too high, and are applying the too rigorously. Two of the most successful and attrac tive middle aged women of my acquaintance are college graduates. They have been a source of pride and service to their alma mater. Yet, if the present standards had been in force in their day. and had been as arbitrarily applied, both of them would have been thrown out of college at the end of their first semester. They were poor students, but they are great women.” • I added rathqr facetiously: “After all, a majority of college girls are going to enter the profession of matrimony. My idea of a college program would be to teach them to look after their health, cultivate their sense of humor, and then add whatever amount of book learning they could absorb without spoiling their good looks.” This stopped the correspondence. The lady regarded me as lacking in seriousness, and wrote to me no more. Yet I have the temerity to publish the comment, and to add this firm conviction: that the world does not need more knowledge as much t as it needs more humor. Do you remember the famous session of the Cabinet at which Abra ham Lincoln presented the Emancipation Proclamation? He preceded* it by reading one of the humorous essays of Artemus Ward. He laughed until the tears came and then, looking around at his associates and finding them all solemn, he exclaimed': B * “Gentlemen, why don’t you laugh? With the fearful strain that is upon me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die; and you need this medicine as much as I.” Do you recall the passage from Stevenson in which he points out that it is* the little differences, not the bg issues, on which marriages are wrecked? To look across the table and see a blank expression on your wife’s face, when you are convulsed with laughter—that, he says, is a test that few marriages can stand. I was in Mexico with Ambassador Morrow when Will Rogers arrived. I saw how wonderfully his humor disarmed the suspicions of the Mexi can officials and opened the way for all the good work that the Am bassador did later. Having all this in mind, I offer two constructive suggestions: 1. That the President make the following appointments: Ambassador to England, Will Rogers; Ambassador to Germany. Bugs Baer; Am bassador to France, Irvin S. Cobb. 2. And that John D. Rockefeller or Edward Harkness establish and endow at each leading college a Professorship in Humor. Experience Service Facilities Those are the important things in measuring the worth of a funeral director, and should be borne in mind when you have occasion to choose one DISTANCE IS NO HINDRANCE TO OUR SERVICE and there is no additional charge for service out of town J. S. STROM Main Street McCormick, S. C. CHURCH J XMENJS [OLNCl Episcopal Church Schedule Preaching services at St. Stephens Episcopal Church, Willington, are as follows: Every 1st, 3rd and 5th Sunday at 4 o’clock p. m. REV. A. R. STUART, Minister. TXT Lower Long Cane Church Schedule Sabbath school every 1st, 3rd and 5th Sabbath afternoon at 3:00 o’clock. Preaching every 1st, 3rd and 5th Sabbath afternoon at 3:45 o’clock. A cordial welcome awaits you at these services. W. C. KERR, Pastor. X Plum Branch Baptist Schedule PLUM BRANCH—Preaching 1st arid 3rd Sundays at 11:30 o’clock a. m. and at 7:45 p. m. Sunday school every Sunday at 10:30 a. m. B. Y. P. U. every Sunday evening at 6:45 and 7:00 p. m. on 2nd and 4th Sundays. TROY—Preaching 2nd Sunday at 11:00 a. m. and ^th Sunday at 3:30 p. m. Sunday school one hour be fore preaching. BETHLEHEM — Preaching 2nd Sunday at 3 o'clock ‘p. m. REV. O. L. ORR, Pastor. X McCormick Holiness Church Schedule McCORMICK — Preaching serv ice 3rd Sunday morning at 11:00 o’clock and third Sunday night at 7:15 o’clock. A cordial welcome is extended to all. G. T. SATCHER, Pastor. x McCormick Methodist Church Schedule McCormick—Sunday school every Sunday at 10:00 a. m.; Preaching at 11:00 a. m. 1st, 2nd and 3rd Sun days, and at 7:30 p. m. on fourth Sundays. Prayw meeting ^ Wednesday * svat Ing at 7:30 o'clock. Board of Stewards meets Honda) night following 1st Sundays. REPUBLICAN Sunday School at 11 a. m. on Bn« and 4th Sundays. 1st and 3rd Sun days at 2:30 p. m. , Preaching o> let and' 3rd Sundays at 3 p. m. Troy — Sunday school at 10:0t a m. 1st, 3rd and 4th Sundays; In* Sundays at 3 p. m.; preaching tm Sundays 8:30 p. m.; 4th Sundays 13 a. m. Benlah — Preaching every 4tl Sunday afternoon at 8:80 o'clock. W. S. HENRY. Pastor. txt Services At Sullivan School House Sunday School every Sunday at 3 o’clock p. m. at Sullivan School House. Preaching first Sunday at 4 o’clock p. m. The public is invited to attend. J. J. MAYSON. Superintendent. X McCormick Baptist Church Schedule D. V. CASON, Pastor McCORMICK — Preaching every Sunday morning at 11:00 and ev ery Sunday evening at 7:40. Prayer meeting, Wednesday at 7:30. B. Y. P. U.’s, Sunday at 6:30. Bible school at 10:00. Month Business meeting, first Wednesday at 7:30. WELCOME BETHANY—Preaching first and third Sunday afternoons at 3:00. Bible School, 10: SO, 1 except on first and third Sunday, when at 2:00. WELCOME PAGE NUMBER SBC BATTERIES FOR ALL LIGHT CARS $6.65 WHITTLE BATTERY SERVICE 622 BROAD PHONE 1166 AUGUSTA, GA. The fellow who drives an auto mobile across a railroad crossing in order to beat the train, prob ably gets his idea from watching the chickens cross the road in front of his own machine. x Surgeons can now pump air in to the human brain, but what is needed mostly is some way of tak ing it out. iXt A. R. Presbyterian ' Preaching at Mt. Carmel, S. C., on the first and third Sabbath at 11 a. m. Preaching at McCormick, S. C., on the second and fourth Sabbaths at 11:30 a. m. Sabbath school at both churches every Sabbath day throughout the year. LEON T. PRESSLY, Pastor. X Troy A. R. P.. Charge TROY—Sabbath school at 10:00 every Sabbath morning; morning worship, 11:00. Y. P. C. U. meets 1st, 3rd and 5th Sabbath evenings at 7:00 o’clock. Prayer meeting. 2nd and 4th Sabbath evening at 7:00. BRADLEY—Sabbath school, 3:00 p. m. 1st and 3rd Sabbaths; wor ship 3:30 p. m. CEDAR SPRINGS—Sabbath school at 3:30 o’clock, 2nd and 4th Sab baths; worship 4:00 p. m. J. H. BUZHARDT. Pastor. XXX Plum Branch M. E. Church Schedule ASBURY—Sunday School every Sunday at 10:00 a. m. Epwbrth League every Sunday at 7:00 p. m. Preaching 1st Sunday at 11:15 a. m. and 3rd Sunday at 8:00 p. m. BARR’S CHAPEL—Preaching 2nd and 4th Sundays at 3:30 p. m. BORDEAUX—Sunday School ev ery Sunday at 10:00 a. m. Preach ing 1st Sunday at 8:00 p. m., and 3rd Sunday at 11:15 a. m. DOTHAN — Preaching 3rd Sun day at 3:30 p. m. ST. PAUL—Sunday School every Sunday at 10:00 a. m. Epworth League every Sunday at 7:00 p. m. Preaching 2nd Sunday at 11:15 a. m., and 4th Sunday at 11:15 a. m. R. M. TUCKER, Pastor. Schedule Of Services At Colored Churches Schedules of services at the Col ored Churches are as follows: Young Mt. Zion, Chappell, First Sunday. Old Mt. Zion, Epworth, Second Sunday. * Bethany, McCormick, Third Sunday. New Hope, Plum Branch, Fourth Sunday. REV. J. F. MARSHALL, Pastor. Springfield, First Sunday. Ebernezer, Second Sunday. Shiloh, Third and Fourth Sun days. REV. DOUGLASS, Pastor. Zion Chappel, First Sunday. Piney Grove, Second Sunday. Bailey Bethel, Third Sunday. REV. W. S. MIMS, Pastor. China Grove, First Sunday. Liberty Spring, Second Sunday. Mt. Moriah, Third Sunday. Springfield, Fourth Sunday. REV. WILLIAM PETERSON, Pastor. Cedar Spring, first Sunday. Shady Grove, second Sunday. Mt. Herman and Mt. Lebanon third Sunday. Carry Hill, fourth Sunday. REV. C. M. MIDDLETON, Pastor. St. Charlotte, First Sunday. Mt. Moriah, Second Sunday. Hosannah, Third Sunday. New China, Fourth Sunday. REV. E. D. TALBERT.