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TUE ADVERTISER. Subscription PrJeo-12 Months, $1.00 Payable in Advance. s. e. boney, Editor. published hy advertiser printing company laurens. s. c. Kates for Advertising. ? Ordinary advert isements, per squnre, one inser tion, $1.00; each subsequent insertion, 50 cents. Liberal reduction made for large advertisements. Obituaries: All over 50 words, one cent a word. Notes of thanks: Five cents the line. Entered at the postoflice at Laurens, S. C. as second class mail matter. LAURENS, S. C, MAY 20, 1908. Elsewhere in this issue is reproduced an excellent editorial from our es teemed Circcnwood contemporary, the .Journal, on the subject of the church member's responsibility. Wo commend it to our readers as a good, sound, com mon sense treatise, and just now it is especially pertinent to our people. If South Carolina will instruct her delegates to the National convention let's tag them so the people can spot our mummies without any inconveni ence. The campaign is coming on soon ami doubtless there will be some candidate who thinks he is being persecuted as a political martyr. Here is an excerpt from a speech delivered by Senator Jeffries Davis that would serve admira bly for such a case. Use it, poor fel low, nobody will know the difference: "Go damnable imps of pelf and greed, I defy your taunts! Tear to fragments my political career. Lash my poor form into insensibility. Gnaw from my Stiffening bones every vestige of quiv ering Mesh. Howl in wretched bestial ity through my own innocent blood as it drips from your fiendish visages." Get it down pat; it's a peach. There is no other State in the Union like Georgia during a campaign year. A woman married a man by the name of Reason the other day. She has blundered fearfully; for, if Mrs. Rea son lives up to her name she will be come an oddity among her sex, and if she does not her name becomes a mis nomer. In the name of Reason, what did she mean? When a man succeeds in working off a bad quarter why does he feel as if he had earned a quarter? The cry in Georgia this summer: peaches, peaches everywhere, but not one drop of brandy. A young woman recently won first prize for oratory at Cornell. There is nothing really surprising about this for the daughters of Lve have ever been prize winners in talking contests. Mr. William Rummage married Miss Mary Sale out in Missouri the other day. The Rummage-Sale notices were no fakes that time. Prince Helie De.Sagan is going to re nounce his religion in order to marry Madame Anna Gould. We are de lighted to hear that the noble prince at least has a religion. But men do act silly ?sometimes. A New York man killed a little girl because, he said, Cod directed him to; the sheriff up there will doubtless di rect a killing pretty soon. A Northern girl has started a hum ming bird farm. We predict a hum mer crop. A Texas preacher is advocating re form in the present funeral ceremonies, but he is unable to arouse much inter est; no wonder, for nobody is specially desirous of using the thing, and those who need it do not specially care. We are not at all particular about our ceremony, except something to prevent its use. Greenville has decided to pave her main streets; so has Greenwood, and now Newberry is agitating the matter. Citizens, just see the good of our ex ample; soon all these towns around here will be taking the city of Laurens as a model. Speaker Joe Cannon is seventy-two years old, but no one has accused him of being in his second childhood. A New York man gave up his seat in a street car to a lady and immediately dropped dead. Strange how effects differ on different men. Our platform: Whiskey drinking is dangerous to say the least of it, and as a citizen we refuse to help create de mand for a commodity which may harm us or others. Our platform: Whiskey selling is wrong in principle, inherently wrong; and as a citizen and voter we refuse to authorize its sale. These Laurens people do believe in Laurens; and after all there is only one Laurens. Some one suggested the place where the court house now stands for the new government post office building. That would be better than the present condi tion, but we believe the public square is tho place for the monument to the Laurens county Confederate dead and a park surrounding. The square be longs to the county; tho county fur-, nished as noble and brave soldiers as fought in the four years' struggle, whose memory is honored in the erec tion of a monument. There is no spot in Laurens so well suited for the site as the center of the public square. Let us hear some discussion of the matter. The patrioti spirit of this city was certainly demonstrated last Tuesday evening by the magnificent audience that greeted the home production at the theatre for the benefit of the Con federate monument. It wis simply glorious, that's all. True, we have a lot of dust here but it is not so objectionable as the Green wood dust. We fancy the Merry Widow style of hals originated in the Fiji Islands. "Women seldom laugh," says an ex change. Correct. They laugh only when they are not talking. There is inconsistency somewhere: some of the newspapers that are al ways hammering at Roosevelt and his policies are the very ones to praise Rryan who himself says that Roosevelt has adopted his (Bryan's) policies. Maybe these papers are better Bryan ites than Bryan himself. "Prohibition for Laurens county" is tho cry. Take it up, voter, and pass it on. Announcements for the legislature arc unusually slow about coming in this year. What is the matter? Muzzles are at present being exten sively used in Florida for dogs. Has a man muzzle been invented? Wonder if I we couldn't get a shipment this sum mer, seeing it's campaign year. ADVISING FARMERS. Almost every newspaper in the coun try has the habit of advising the farm ers about their crops. The Abbeville Press and Banner has sworn off and in that connection says: "Some of the newspapers arc giving advice to farmers. Will some gentle man give us the name of a farmer who looks to his county paper for instruc-' tion? When newspapers can run farms better than tho man who does the plow ing we would like to have a certificate to that effect. This editor several years ago tried to show farmers how to make money on the farm. After giving them several lessons he was nearly bnjke. This same editor now thinks if a man can run a fairly good newspaper he might be satisfied. Now as to advice on the detailed work of the farm, the planting, the time for gathering, the kind of plow that should be used, the crop for certain kinds of land, etc., ?we say that in matters of this kind the newspaper is wasting time trying to instruct the farmers. But there is a way in which the papers can be of material service to the farmers, and that is by careful observation of conditions all over the country and im parting this information with his com ment and opinion thereon. The farm ers have not the opportunity to see or read as many agricultural and commer cial journals as the average newspaper man; hence, they are not in possession of many facts that would he of service to them. For our part we intend to keep up with the way things are going in this country and let our constituents know what we think of these things. As to advising them how they shall run their farms we are not so foolish as to at tempt it. PLEASE TALK. Laurens is just about the hardest place to gather news in that we have tackled. This is no reflection at all, nor is it evidence that there is nothing doing here; it means simply that the people do not talk liberally. By :,ome this may be considered a commendable trait, and indeed it would be if we had reference to bad news and every day gossip; but that is not our subject just now: we mean NEWS. Somo days we meet a citizen on the street or at his place of business and after passing the greetings of the day, ask: "Well, is there any news on your side of town today?" Almost invariably the answer comes back, "Not a thing, I believe." Lingering a few minutes (and right here newspaper folks get a good excuse for loafing) we talk on a little while and directly out comes a fine piece of news - all unintentional and unthought of be fore. Now, good friends, we are not quar reling at all; indeed we have no right to quarrel or kick; we aro just asking that you lend a hand in making a live, up-to-date, newsy paper for our town. The name of this paper is the "AD VERTISER" and we want it to adver tise Laurens and to do so completely. To accomplish this the support of all the people is a positive necessity. The publication of bad, disagreeable news is not our specialty . out we want the NEWS. So. ladies and gentlemen, please talk. We have a phono and the news gatherer is "sometimes" on the streets. So again, PLEASE TALK. A man travelled 104,000 miles for a wife, so says a newspaper report. Hut J that must have happened long ago, or at least not during a leap year. But maybe he was in flight all this distance and cornered at last. What are the issues in the South Carolina senatorial contest, and who? ********* * t't * * *??*?;? *** * ?* ** ?? I AMONG THI: EXCHANGES, j '.? * ************v v 4f; * % Sijm of Good Fellowship. Reaching around to the hip-pocket j can no longer be admitted in the courts as an evidence of hostile intent. It is now becoming the orthodox motion of happy fellowship.- Augusta Herald. The Thought of It. The editor of the Laurens Advertiser wants to know what is the exact value in terms of dollars and cents of a kiss. He has no business thinking of such things.- -Union Times. A Gadabout. Missouri boasts of a rooster that hatched out a brood of chickens. The old hen was doubtless gadding about showing her new Widow Hat to her neighbors. 'Depends On the Girl. A young man in Union says the exact value in dollars and cents of a kiss de pends on the girl you are kissing. He says he would pay $100 to kiss some girls and then some girls would have to! pay him $100 to kiss them. Backward Is Sometimes Forward. 1 The Baptist church at Laurens pro poses to have its members vote for pro hibition. In case they think dispensary is better than blind tigers something is to be done. A long ago church and state were separated, but it seems that the tendency of the times is to take the back track. ?Abbeville Press and Ban ner. What Ought the Churches to do ? Rev. W. W. Leathers, of Anderson, writing in the Baptist Courier has the following on the action of the Laurens Baptist church : "I have been seriously thinking for some time of the advisability of all churches withdrawing fellowship from members who as candidates go over the county or state advocating the sale of whiskey. If it is wrong to sell or drink whiskey, it certainly is wrong to en dorse the business, encourage its use or make laws in its favor. "The church members who as candi dates go around advocating the whiskey business are usually very prompt in telling that they are members of the church; that they drink their drams, that the church members run the dis pensaries, etc. The inference is the church endorses the whiskey business in general and their conduct in particu lar. The churches, as a rule, are against the whiskey business and they ought to say so. Church members not only ought not to vote for whiskey men but they ought not to hold them in church fellowship. "I rejoice in the stamT taken by the First Baptist church of Laurens, in which that church, as reported in the daily papers, proposes to hold every member of the church amenable who votes for the dispensary in the coming election. This is as it should be; and I suppose there is no church in the state Unit can more consistently take this high stand than those Laurens breth ren. For a number of years they have bad an enviable reputation in spiritual things; and they are right in the posi tion they have taken in this matter. "Well done for Laurens! If only when the time comes there is a readi ness to do that which they now will. What a glorious thing it would be if every Baptist church in the state would withdraw from every member who ad vocates or votes for the whiskey busi ness. The time has come when the church should publicly and positively refuse to stand for the liquor business or its advocates; and I hope the posi tion taken by the church at Laurens will be followed by many other church es in the state during the year." Weak Kidneys Weak Kidnoys, turoly point to weak kidney Nerves. Tho Kidneys, like thoIHeart, and tho Stomach, Pud their Wdkknots, not In tho organ ltse.ll, but in tho nerves that control and guido %nd strengthen them. Dr. Shoop's Restorative n ? medicine specifically prepared to nach theso controlling nerves. To doctor tho Kidney* alone. It (utile. It is a wasto of time, and ol money as well. II your back ache* or It weak, if tho urine tcaldi, or lit dark and strong, if you have symptonn of Bright* or other distressing or dangerous kid ney disease, try Dr. Snoop I Restorative a month? Tablett or Liquid?and sen what it can and will Co tor you. Druggist rocoroinond and toll Dr. Shoop's Restorative PALMETTO DRUG CO. No Man or Wo man's Wardrobe will be complete this Summer1'! without Oxfords. Now isasplen did time to make selections ? the picking is so good. Later some of the best styles will begone and sizes will be missing. There's not a good thing or a new thing* in Low Cut Shoes for Men or Women we are noc showing. ' Oxfords in Button, Blutcher or Lace Styles, Handsome Ties and new Colonial Buckles. The Ribbon Ties, Pumps and Colonials with Buckle and Rib bon trimmings for Women's wear are exquisite creations. $2, $2.50, $3, $3.50, $4, $g to $6. Oxfords should be fitted carefully and perfectly. We're experts at fitting and we have every size and width in every variation. This way for Choice Oxfords. COPELAND'S. The One Price Store Customers' Shoes Shined Free. Alt. Gallagher Matters. Mt. Gallagher, May 16.?The cool spell has about broken and the farmers in this section are rejoicing at the re turn of warm weather. There are still a number on the sick list, although nothing to compare with the weeks past. Mr. Furman Martin is practically recovered and is able to be out again, while Mrs. Matilda Ann Unland is slowly convalescing. Mrs. P. A. McSwain, with her little daughter, came over from Anderson and spent Saturday and Sunday with her mother, Mrs. J. N. .Jones. Mr. Broadus Davis and wife, of the Poplar Springs neighborhood, spent week-end with Mr. YV. W. Gaincs. Mr. James K. Saxlon and wife, of Ware Shoals, spent Sunday with Mrs. J. N. Jones. Rev. Geo. M. Sexton filled his regu lar appointment at Mt. Gallagher last Sunday, the services being attended by a large crowd. Mr. Sexton came from Laurens to Mt. Gallagher and already he has impressed his people here as a line man, an excellent preacher and a lovable pastor. Under his able preach ing the church has grown in numbers and in grace. At the service last Sun day the ordinance of the Lord's Supper was observed._ NINE Cllll I)REN BITTEN. Mad Dog Scare at (ircenvillc-'Dog's Head to be Examined. Greenville, May lf>. Nine children and a negro nurse were bitten by a Collie puppy here yesterday, and fear ing that the animal was suffering with rabbles, the attending physician di rected that the dog be killed and the head sent to the Pasteur Institute in Atlanta for a careful examination. The dog was undoubtedly suffering with some disease. One of the physicians said it might be acute indigestion. The parents of tho children are naturally very much disturbed and the result of the examination of the dog's head is awaited anxiously. Several weeks ago another child was bitten and as a re sult of the examination the offending dog was declared rabid. The child was treated at the Pasteur Institute and no ill effects have appeared. Stockholders' Meeting. The stockholders in the bank of Gray Court are requested to meet at Gray Court at 10 o'clock Saturday morning, May 23rd. Permanent organization will be made and officers elected. Teachers' Examination. The regular spring examination of applicants for teachers' certificates was held Friday in the court house by the members of tho county board of educa tion. The examination was taken by eleven white and the same number of colored applicants, Weak women should read my "Rook No. 1 For Women." It was written expressly for women who are not well. The Rook No. A tells of Dr. Shoop's "Night Cure" and just, how these sooth ing, healing, antiseptic suppositories can be successfully applied. The book and strictly confidential medical advice is entirely free. Write Dr. Shoop, Ra cine, Wis. The Night Cure is sold by Palmetto Drug Co. Grand Pianos and Player Pianos. Hereafter McCord, the Piano Man, will use this space to present attractive piano propositions. If you desire to be informed about pianos, or to pur chase a Piano at the very LOWEST PRICE and on the very best terms, it will pay you to see or write him, Notice the names of a few of His Valued Patrons in this immediate section; Many other purchasers throughout South Carolina could be mentioned, but a few home purchasers are mentioned, and it is hoped, they will not be offended by this presention. Dr. L. S. Fuller, W. C. Hipp. j. L. Boyd, Mrs. M. A. Fike, M. H. Fowler, Mrs. jJi j^' McCord J. Walter Gray, R. W. Nichols, Mrs.' Albert Burns.' C. L. Fuller, Mrs. Luther Roper, Mrs. Willie Walker, Mrs. S. L. Nelson, Capt. J. M. Philpot, w. M. Myers, Mrs. Mattie Medlock, B. A. Sullivan, j\ *Lee Langston, Miss Yeargin, J. A. Austin, ,j' j Coleman J J. Dunn, J. A. Franks, Mrs'. J. M. Hampton. Mrs. j. W. Clark, Misb Agnes Boyd, ??? t ? . mii.m Miss Corrinne Martin, Mrs. A S. Easterby, Ml*9 **Ac Mi,am' Mrs.MaryGage D.A.Davis, J.T.Brown, Miss Nannie Bramlett, T. D. Lake, Miss Irene Ray, Messer Babb, T. Mack Roper, First Presbyterian R. M. Hill, M. A. Summerei, Church S S W. II. Drummond, T. B. Brown, M?vnr c M .1. W. Oarrett, Mrs. J. Warren Bolt, iV r rw> ' T. F. Babb, j. W. A. Boyd, V* w' ?0' on Dr. Beason, B. C. Burns, '; Y.' f L ? 1 ' oTSSJS?' WPH??r' w.p. C?land, t?. (y..Hopkins. J. L. Hopkins, m-. i*.. n T. J. Weathers, ? Mrs. Mattie Lindsay, gtvSed ScCln Rev. E. C. Watson, S. J. Raior, C,ty Gpade<? Schools. And others, besides many scores of organ purchasers which will be mentioned at another time. Write to him if you Want a Piano; it is to your interest. L. A. McCORD, The Piano Man. April 22, 1908. LAURENS, S. C Miss Tcrsleep?What keeps you here so late? Mr. Stoplate?Your glorious eyes. Miss Tersleep- Well, they needn't detain you. I can't keep 'em open much longer. Cleveland Leader. Mamma- Well, Edith, how did you like the kindergarten? Edith I didn't like it a bit. The teacher put me on a chair and told me to sit there for the present. I sat and sat and she never gave me the present. 1 -Chicago News, "Maud graduated from your cooking school last spring, didn't, she?" "Yes, but she's going to tako a post graduate course next fall." "Going back to the samo school again?" "Oh, no! She's to he married to a pooryeung man."-Catholic Standard and Times. Youth Sir, did a tall, fair blondo pass this way? Gatekeeper - No, hut a mighty pretty little brunette did. "And er which way did she go? Lippincott'n.