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TRI-WEEKLY EDITION. WINNSBORO, St C., APRIL 2 1895. ESTABISHED 1849. Connecticut has a horse that eats pie. This Is somewhat remarkable, although It has long been known that an inti mate relation existed between pies and nightmares. From the length of time which thi Sultan's commission is demanding for tne investigation of the Armenian butcheries the commission must be ex periencing considerable difficulties in deciding the indemnity the Armeniani ought to pay for being butchered. The Elbe disaster has found its way into the German relchstag, where the government representatives in debate warmly defended the steamship com pany while the Socialists bitterly at tacked it, saying that the discipline on the ship was bad and the water-tight confpartments anything but w-ater tight Most unreasonable fellows, those Socialists. They don't seem to under stand that the primary purpose of a steamship company is to make money and they really cling to the idea that such a corporation owes some duty to the people who travel in its iron coffins.. While the pungent paragraphers ar .nveighing against the ten-acre theater hat, they should aim a few shafts of sarcasm at the t).irsty members of the male persuasion who slide out between acts to "see a man," and return with a breath that causes those sitting near them to imagine that the opera house has suddenly been metamorphosed into a distillery or a gin fizz factory. There is also the sweet scented masher who .is always nudging any attractive your. lady who happens to occupy the next scat There are just as disagreeable things in theaters as the overgrown hat Bravo, Baudelon! So long as there are ships and machinery, cylinders, cranks, piston rods, shafts or rudders will give out at some time; and if this time happens to coincide with the oc eurrence of a hurricane, then are gath ered to;ether the conditions of a great calamity. Out of the night, the storm, the awful sea, the crippled ship, have come all those chronicles of calamity that freeze the blood in the old ship wreck stories. in such a case the one hope is a hero. All depends upon a man. If the right man is there ail will go well, though the way be through gloom, danger and doubt If the right mnau is not there, if one of the feeble brethren is in his place, that is the end of the story of that ship. The man must be one of stout heart and cool head; undismayed by danger and un shaken by the se o res , 'introuble and m ays to meet it. For such a man great critical occasions are after all only opportunities. Baudelon was the man for the occasion in the Gascogne's great battle, and so we say, Well done, Baudelon' Lucky fellow to have such a chance; lucky company to have such an officer, and lucky passengers to be in the hands of a- captain who knew what to do and how to do it. A PRIZE WiNNER. Benton Bride, Great Britain's Cham pion Heifer. Here is the heifer that won the cham pion plate at the London cattle show. .The English ideal in the way of a roast beef producer is to breed cattle that shall be as nearly as possible composed entirely of meat -with a minimum quantity of bone. The champion heifer Is described as being of the Aberdeen Angus breed. Her name-is Benton TUm CHIAMPION HElFER. Bri.ae, and she was bred by Clement Stephenson, of Sandyford villa, New castle-on-Tyne. The heifer has won, besides the champion plate at the Lon don cattle show, the special challenge cup conferred by Queen Victoria, the president's prize at the Birmingham fat stock show, and the Thorley and Elkington cups, as well as many other minor prizes. A Fakir's Ingenuity. Enormous business has been done Jately at Freuch fairs by a man who professed to sell a rat powder thatt was perfectly harnaless and that struck rats dead on the spot. In order to convine the skeptical the mran. first of' all, pow dered a slice of bread with the stuff, and ate a piece of it himself. Then b~e put the remainder under a glass case, in which a rat was kept in captivity. The rat went to eat the bread and in atantly fell dead. At 5 pence a box tihe powder went ofI like hot rolls, and tihe lucky proprietor of the specific was in -a fair way to make a fortune. But the police, who in France are very active mn protecting the peop~le from a fraud, * looked Into the matter and found that the powder was nothing but ordinary * sugar. They also discov ered that the case was connected with a powerful electric battery, and the moment the rat touched the bread the current was turned on, and it was thus his death was brought about. The man was ar rested at the fair of Albi, and he has bee'n sentonced to lifteen days' impris. Some Valuable Real Estate. (Gorner lots on Fleet street, PiccadIlly, and other desirable business locations In London are worth $100.000 a front root. S 'M GROWING OLD. My days pass pleasantly away; My nights are blessed with sweete, sleep; I feel no symptoms of decay; I have no cause to mourn or weep; My foes are impotent and shy, My friends are neither false nor cold, And yet, of late, I often sigh I'm growing old! My growing talk of olden times. My growing thirst for early news. My growing apathy to rhymes, My growing love of easy shoes, My growing hate of crowds and noise, My growing fear of taking cold, AU whisper in the plainest voice I'm growing old! I'm growing fcnder of my staff; I'm growing dimmer in the eyes; I'm growing fainter in my laugh; I'm growing deeper in my sighs; I'm growing careless in my dress; I'm growing frugal of my gold; I'm growing wise; I'm growing-yes I'm growing old! I see It in my changing tastes; I see it in my changing hair: I see it in my growing waist; I see it in my growing heir; & thousand signs proclaim the truth As plain as truth was ever told, That, even in my vaunted youth, I'm growing old! Ah, me! my very laurels breathe The tale in my reluctant ears, And every boon the hours bequeath But makes me debtor to the years! E'en flattery's honeyed words declart The secret she would fain withhold, And tells me in "How young you arel* I'm growing old! Thinks for the years! whose rapid fligi My somber muse too sadly sings; Thanks for the gleams of golden light That tint the darkness of their wings' The light- that beams from out the sky-, Those heavenly mansions to unfold W here all are blest and none may sigh "I'm growing old!" --John G. Saxe. THE JUDGE'S DECISIO! HEN you reall think you're I love, eh?" s a I Judge Pelham. He had a quef brown face, thi old man, all plov ed with a networ -of wridkles, an little black eye with a scanty a that looked at yo t the sort of a man to con. tide a love tale to, nor to sympathiz with the. tender outpourings; and ho-e Judge Pelham ever came to be th( father of a glorious girl like Kate, witi the beauty of Hebe, was a riddle thal we leave to those learned in physiology %nd psychology. "Yes, sir," said Hugh Kearney, brave ly. "I am in love with her, and if I am so fortunate as to gain your permis ,ion to pay her my addresses-" "Stop!" sa.d the old gentleman. "Noi so fast. One thing at a time, young sir What have you got?" "A strong arm, sir, and a brave heart, together wvith, I hope, at least, an aver age amount of braius." "Very good stock in trade," answer ed the Judge, still regarding Mr. -Kear ney with the little hard glistening bead of eyes. "Aha, Mr. Carleton, is that you? Walk In and sit down. I'll M'~ disengaged presently." "Then you will give my case a fa vorable c'rnsideration, Judge," said Hiugh, rising to depart. "I will, sir." And Hugh went out--a tall, hand some fellow, with pleasant dark eyes and a firm, squarely cut chin, whici betokens~ no ordinary amount of reso 'ution and wil. Kent Carleton sat in the office, un easily glancing over the large russet. bound volumes, when the Judge de lberately turned himself round in his revolving chalr. He. too, was handsome, with straight, effeminate features, blue eyes and wavy hair. "I have called, sir, on very impor tant business," began Kent, hesitat, 'ngly. "Eh! What may It be?" deliberate ly questioned the Judge. Kent would have given all he was worth if the brown old man wo 'd have p)ut on a pair of spectacles. Those beady eyed tonfused and bewildered him. "It's about your daughter, Kate, sir," said Carlcton. "I love her, and if von have no objections-" I"Ah," said the Judge, "exactly so. Of course you have means to support r wife?" "As to means, sir, I am yet only be ginning the world; but I have expecta tions, and, added to that, I am about to commence the practice of the pro fession in whichi you have reached so rilliant a position!" He bowed. The Judge was stil) 'ransfixing him with the beady eyes. "You may go. I'll let you know my lecision to-morrow." Carleton's footsteps had hardly died away upon the threshold, when the Judge opened a door to the left of hinr qnd called: "Kate!' Miss Pelham came in-tall, bloom. Ing, is, with eyes of soft liquid blue, damask cheeks and hair of real poet's gold. How strange she looked among the dry old law-books and balze-cov ered desks, and the packets of legal papers splashed with scarlet seals like magnified drops of blood. "Well, papa ?" "Do you want to get married, pet?" "Well, papa, I hardly know whether I do or not!" she answered reflect [ely. "Beausne I're nmj two yong me here asking permission to pay their addresses to yo.." "Two young men, papal Who were thev?" -Both eligible, as far as outward circumstances go; not rich, but sens Ible, and enterprising I've reason to think; and for my part I don't believf in too much ready-made money." "But you have not told me yet wht hey are!" "Hugh Kearney and Kent Carleton," answered the Judge. "Which do yor lke better of the two?" "Why, papa, I like them both. Hugh Is a good, solid fellow, and Kent has ss much style." "But you can't marry 'em both!" "Papa," laughed Kate, coming close up so that her surls fairly overflowed the brown face with the beady black eyes, "you choose for me. I really haven't any actual preference- in the matter. I could like either of them; and, after all, it isn't like selecting a lover, because I can make up my mind any time." "So you want the old dad to select for you, do you? Well, well, I'll think it over and let you know." The Judge put on his hat and went out for a walk in the summer twilight to clear his brain of the co)rvebs in inced by his day's work. "Hallo!" he cried, as he nearly stum bled over a meditative old Irishman, who was standing stariig about him with a ragged old waterproof coat hanging on his arm. "What do you mean by, obstructing the highway in that sort of fashion, Hannegan?" "Faith, it's I that axes your honor's pardon kindly, but sorra a bit I knows where I'm goin'. rerhaps your honoy could tell me." "How the mischief do you suppose I can tell you, if you don't know your self, you Irish blunderhead?" "They're lawyers like your honor," went on the persistent Hannegan; "and .since Biddy Rourke-that's me sister, your honor, that washes for all t94 quality-hurt her ankle bone, she saysk isays she-'Terry,' says she, she says get the money they're owin' me, it's I that'll thank you kindly,' says she, 'and I'll do as much for you,' says she, 'for it's Mr. Carleton and Mr. Kearney--' " "Oh!" ejaculated the Judge; "Care. ton. and Kearney, eh? Yes. I know where they live, and I'll go along with you and show you, if you'll lend me your overcoat and just change hair with me." "Sure, your honor, it's too ragged like for the likes o' you!" "That's my business," said the Judge alertly transforming himself into an thepbattered hat and rus ovprgarmeni , nl "Now, lo6k here, if you call me any. thing but Larry Reirdon I'll send you to the lockup for twenty days." Terrence started and grinned: "All right, yer-" "Stop!" roared the Judge. "I mane Larry! And is this the door, sir? I would be after saying, Mister Reirdon?" "This is the door, Terry." And without knocking the Judgt, pushed Terry into the hotel reading room, where he stood with his head drawn in between his shoulders and' nearly covered by the Irishman's too Ilarge hat, while Hannegan boldly con 'ronted the young men. Carleton was writing a letter, Kear. ney sat tipped back on his chair looking over the paper, and one or two others were lounging about, grumbling at the dismal monotony of the village in which they found themselves beca'ned >ver night. "'Money!" ejaculated Carleto~n, irrita bly, as the Irishman made known his errand. "What money? It's but a lit tie while since I settled that bill; there mnust be a mere trifle owing now!" "It's nive dollars, sir-ive dollars and siventy cents; and Biddy, she's laid up wid a broken ankle and five little ones,! sir; an' if you'd plase to let me have Ithe money, I've Biddy's receipt, sir-"I "Hang your receipts, man-I've no mnoney to spare! Don't bother mel" "For shame, Carleton!" spoke up Hugh Kearney. "Pay what you owe the woman. Would you let her and her little one' starve?" "tdon't hurt that class of people to starve," heartlessly answered Carle ton. "As for the little ones, the less we have among us to pay taxes for, the better! It isn't convenient for me to settle the account to-day - that', 'enough" IAnd he turned away and bent ovet his writing again, a little uneasy be neath the withering look of scorn dart ed at him from Hugh Kearney's eyes. "Come here, my man," said the lat ter, addressing Terry Hannegan, who stood scratching his head in sore per-| plexity. "How much do I owo Mrs. Rtourke? I ought to hAve attended to it sooner; but I waited, as usual, for her to send in her bill." "It's only two dollars and a half, sir, for yer honor," answered Terrence, 1"Well, here's a five-dollar bill Biddy can work it out when her ankle gets better. And if she's really in want or suffering, tell her to send to me and 'l come and see her." I"Sure, your honor, and I'll do that same; and it's hopin' the blissid saints . may make your honor's bed in heaven, and wishin' there was many like you; and Biddy '11 be the thankful woman, that she will, &nd--" But at this stage Terry Hannegan's companion, who had stood by the door motionless all this while, shouldered him out, still uttering thanks and '>lessings as he went.I "Here," said the Judge, as the) stepped out once more on the pave ment, "take your overcoat, Terry, and let's change hats again; for I begin to 'eel radical and revolutionary already." I"Feel how, your honor?" co your sister from me, and be 4boU your business." So the Judge dismissed his raggei Companion and returned to the dining room, back of the law office, wher 1jate sat by a shaded lamp."' "Well, papa," said Kate, laughingli "have you decided yet?" "Yes, I have 'decided.-" "Which is it to br.?" "Carleton is a heertiess scoundrel and will treat the woman who is hi wife as no woman would wish or de serve to be treated." "Papa, how do you know?" "No matter how I know. I've a wa if finding out things for myself, child. "And Mr. Kearney?' "If you can get him, take him. H Is a fine fellow-" And the Judge sat down to write tw brief notes, one of which Carleton rea the next morning with contracted broi ind savage eyes. "What does the pedantic old foC mean?" he muttered. "What can h possibly have heard about me whic: convinces him that I am not the perso: to render his daughter's life a happ: ine?" But that was exactly what Mr. CarlE ,on never learned. And Kate, .the Judge's golden-hairei daughter, Was married six month from that day to Hugh Kearney. cew York News. IMAGINATION'S TRIUMPH. Only Accident Revealed the Substitu tion of Horse Meat for Beef. For some time past says the Chicagv Times, John Murrato and a partnei whose name cannot be learned hav4 been selling prime cuts of beef to th4 people living about 12th and Clintor streets at prices 1ehlch have defle competition. The juiciest sirloins, the fattest rib roasts, the .most desirabl< fiets were to be had of Murrato 5, 1( and 15 cents a pound cheaper than th( grasping rival butchers would accep1 for their Inferior wares. The genera Impression among the Italian colonj was that buying Murrato's beef wav being in some-way acobssory after th fact to a felony, and the only thin, they doubted was what particular kinc of a rime it was that they were en couraging. They never would havi found out If Murrato had kept his real paid up, but when his landlord brok4 into his barn Monday and found a de funct horse hung up foltdisseCtion then was considerable taliand some nau ca among Mr. Murrate's customeri about Jefferson and Clinton and 12ti and 18th streets. In.i ft, very unkinm - 'e said, kiib;the canker-oI ucion '" ~ ~ sausage and many chuck steaks even yet. Mr. Murato's business is practi cally ruined, and the fact illustrates the power of the human fancy oier the human appetite. To relish horse one must be the victum of illusion; one must be credulous and trusting; one must have that faith which in a case of this sort is better than works. But let a blow be struck at the public confidence, let it appear that a person is clan destinely introducing into the systems f his neighbors queer, weird, uncanny knds of flesh not crusted over with the pproval of precedent, and that butcher ight just as well move to Pekin. And yet the distaste for horse and to. ther unusual, or at least allegedly un sual, meats is mere prejudice. It is oe's Imagination that revolts, not one's epsin. Given a man with a strong ind, he ought to be able to hold fast nything that he can interiorly accumu late. Not mne man in a hundred can. he almost inevitable failure is at thie same time a valuable demonstration f the superiority of mind over matter. t is the victory of pure Intellect over the hydro-carbons. It is the triumph f the soul over the oesophagus. Where gnorance is bliss it is folly to hold a ost-mortem over yesterday's dinner. Just a little sunshine, And a. little ground hog, too, And then we have the question: "Is it cold enough for you?" -Chicago Inter Ocean. A designing man I hate!" cried Nell With scornful head erect. And yet within.. year she loved Andt wed an architect! -New Orleans Times-D2mocrat. If a woman actually marries her her ideal, he is apt to outgrow It. 111-Chosen Place. A glimpse of Ruskin's whimsicality is to be found in a friend's reminin Iscences. "One morning," he notes, "as we were coming out of chapel, he said o us, 'I ought not to have come to hapel this morning.' We asked him, In some astonishment, why. 'I am go rg to write a critique on --'s picture n the Academy,' he replied, 'and I want o be in a pecfectly diabolical temn The Batteries H. Charged. "Say," shouted the G. A. R. man what right have you got to be talkin' about chargin' batteries at Vicksburgl You know you were too young; was 1' the truth T' "Aw, old man, who said anythinu bout the war?" replied a youth. "I m an electrician."-Cincinnati Trib Conversation Over the Fence. First lady (threateningly)-Did yor call me a two-faced thing, did you? Seond lady (unabashed)-Yes, I did; and, wot's more, I don't know which o:' 'em's the ugliest.-Tid-Bits songe of Wild Birds. The song of wild birds is usually a succession of three or four notes con tnud during the same interval. most, withut interruntion OLYMHES MADE OF WOOD. Ine of Things Which tY e Future W1 Probably Bring Forth. Time was when references to 'wooden overcoaV were understo4 1 as the irreverent equivalent of mea uring a man for a coifu, but it wou teem that suits of clothes made wood may soon be an accomplishi tact The writer Is Indebted to a merchai of the city of cleth-Leeds-for glimpse of samples of a species cloth, and also of a sort of cotton, ma< wholly out of wood fiber, these tv woven pieces having all the appes ance of attractive articles of their o,% kind. Both these novel textile fabri< are the result of prolonged expei ments with pinewood and spruc which have been Ingeniously torn , pieces in the first instance and the bleached by an elaborate chemic Vrocess. After chemical treatment in max ways the wood becomes a soft, whi pulp, which is run through perforat( plates, the resulting threads beir dried by a steaming process. Thei threads can be woven, and the mater a is susceptible of taking readily ar sort of dye. -The fabric can be mai at an astonishingly cheap cost; It lool well, and has a certain amount < streigth (experiments in this conne tion are now being carried out), an its appearance on the market, soon or later, is absolutely certain, especia ly in the form of imitation cotton. Edinburgh Scotsman. A Desperate Resort. "I am going to get married," said foung mnan the other morning. haven't a cent, but I know a girl wk Is fool enough to have me, and I as almost persuaded to try the exper ment. I never did make a success anything that I went at, and I am desperate and determined fellow. have had several positions, none which was worth having, and now am alone in the cold world. The reaso I am going to try the marrying exper ment," continued the young felloy "is because I really know of one cau where it psoved a blessing to a youn man who was in as bad a predicamer as myself. The fellow was workin for the enormous Salary of $5 per wee and spending two and three times th. much on his credit He became di couraged and In a fit of despondene ran off with a girl and was marrie< Almost simultaneously with the we( ding the young man was informed th his services at the place where he wo working coid be - dispensed -witi Something had to be done. From a rec; determined and to some exten perate man. He opened his eyes foi the first time and began to look abou him for a posiion, and soon had a goo( ne. His salary was raised almos every month, and he now holds one o the most important positions in one o the larges houses on Main street. Ho bas a charming wife, who encouraget him )by her love, and there is no hap pier man in the city. But," continue the thoroughly demoralized youth, "] cannot get married, for I have not th4 money to buy the license, and I have n' eredit at all."--Louisville Post. The Original Chinese. Before the discovery of iron, and tory of what is now China, Corea, and Iapan was occupied by a brown race either Maylayan or Malay-negroid I, character. This Is pointed out by tra dation, by ' ethnology, anthropology and archaeology. The brown peopli bore the same relation to Eastern Asia as did the Iberians and Lapps to pre historic E~urope. ,While of a low grad4 lintellectually, they had mastered nearia all the primitive arts. They had do Imesticated the buffalo, dog, cat, mon key, and the barnyard fowls. It maa be questioned If they had tamed thi horse or cow. They lived in huts, tillei the soil, and understood pottery. As a race they were split up into innumer able clans and tribes. They were per petually warring among themselves using as arms weapons made fron wood and stone. They worshipet retiches and devils, practiced polygam3 and polandry, offered human sacrifices to their idols, and were altogether pret ty respectable savages.-Overlan4 '4onthly. Better than Nothing. It is well to have more than one string to your bow. So thinks Tommy Smith ers, as repored by the Indianapola Journal. He was being catechised for his good by a well-meaning visitor. "Well, Tommy," she said, "do ycot think you will ever be President of thi United States?" "I dunno," answered Tommy. "Meb be I'll try for It after I git too old to b4 a pitcher." What He Thought of Him. "Do you think Skinner can make living out there?" "Make a living? Why, he'd make living on a rock in the middle of thi ocean-it there was another man on thb rock."-Dallas (Texas) Visitor. One on the Miller. IThe man at the little mountain gris mill waiting for his turn became ima patient, and growled at the miller. "Now, did you ever," said the miller "see anything soindostrio'usasthisml 1s? It no sooner gets one grain crushe< 'ban it hops on to another one." "Pshaw," retorted the man, "I couli qat it faster than your mill grinds it..' "You could, could you?" snapped tha niler. "Well, how long could you?" "Oh, till I starved to death, I reckon, replied the customer and wentongrowi lng...netroit Free Press. -- SUPPOSE WE S311ML. 8 HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. Ld 1flemat Incidents Occurrfng the Worles ' Over-fyings That Arm Cheerful to the Old or Yountg-Funny Selections That it Everybody Win Enjoy .eadIng. a >f At the Theater. to "That," exclaimed the exceedingly c tall man, who could see the stage, "Is r- capable of two constructions." n The indvidual of medium height 's who could see nothing bat millinery, I- readily assented. e, "A great deal of it," he remarked, to with gloom, "seems to have been made n over once or twice already."-Detroit il Tribune. Crushed by the Cook. Mrs. Houser (to applicant for a plac; -Can you cook? Bridget-I always let the fire do that, num.-Philadelphia Inquirer. Supplying a Great Need. 6 "Old Soak actually shed tears when a e found he couldn't get a drop of of whisky." "Why didn't he drink his tears?" d Life. He Was Particular. ."No," said Mrs. Sparrowgrass to Weary Wiggles, "I can't give you any imeat or'any pie, because I haven't any; but I can give you a drink of milk, if that will do." "Is it sterilized, mum?" asked the tramp, anxiously.-New York World. Proved. He-Your hat wasn't on straight at the theater last night. a She-How do you know? He-I sat behind"you and I saw one, half of the play.-Clothier and Fur nisher. [. A Domestic Episode. "Never mind," said the emancipated e woman, "I'll be In Congress making g laws yet, while you will be a mere no *t body!" g "I hope you will," replied the meek k sufferer. "I hope you will go to Con .t gress. That's one place where you - will have a little trouble in getting the F 'ast word."-Exchange. L Flea Badinage. First flea-I don't know how I am go Ing to make a living. Second tea-Have you tried It on a dog?-Detrolt Tribune. Blasted Hopes. thinking of becoming an ao tress?" "No. In the last play I witnessed there was a girl who put her hat on straight without the aid of a mirror. I am sure I could never learn to do that in a thousand years."-Indianap ,lis JournaL Where the Tronble Began. I Cholly Lighthead-Bah Jove! Miss [ Emerson, I believe I could make you love me if I had a mind to. Miss Emerson-Ne doubt you are right .It Is intellect which I adore above all things. I have always de plored the absence of It on your ro" IBrooklyn LIf. The First Table. Johnny Smart-What did you have f'or dinner yesterday? Willie Bright-Had the preacher an') had to wait-Philadelphia Inquirer. The Honest Waiter's Tip. -Young tourist-What shall we try? Honest waiter (in a whisper)-Tr'y another restaurant-Life. She Feared Gossip. "No, my dear," said Mrs. Parvey Ne's to her caller, "I shall not serve wafery Iat my teas this season." "Indeed?" "I couldn't think of it. If I servet. anything smaller than biscuit ill-na tured people would be certain to say Mr. New had felt the hard times.-Ex Ichange. . e Knew. Timid New-Yorker-I'm a bit partica Butchr-Onoats, sir!-ClevelanQ Plain Dealer. The Value of Literature. Parrott-How is Rhymer getting or -with his poetry? Wiggins-Oh, nicely. A few miore editorial refusals wil quite knock al the conceit out of him!-Exchange. Not Her Due. She-Mr. Jinklets paid me a comph ment to-day. He-He didn't owe it to you. She-How? What do you mean? He-He never pays anything he owet, --Detroit Freo Press. Some Difference. Bilkins-There's a lot of differenes la women. Wilkins-For instance? Bilkine-Well, yesterday I offered mi seat in a street car to one and she de elined it with thanks, and to-day I of fered itfto another apd she accepted-if without thanks.-Detroit Free Press. Round Numbers the Only Kind. LHer father-What Is yourincome. si', -Her lover- -1 can only give it to you ws round nuinbers. Her' father-Ah! Her lover-No other numbers will ex press it Wer father-Oh!-Detroit Tribune Not Deliberate. "I am afraid you have told a deliberate falsehood." "No, mamma. I can assure you that I have not I told it in a hurry."-E.x, INDIAN FIGHTING COURAGE. Terrors in White Settlements WWD Run Away from Hostile Redskin "It takes a special kind of cour to fight Indian," said Major Bagsdale at the "LIttleGem" inTopeka. "Theyre pretty sure to surprise you, and they'r slippery as quicksilver and as hard to catch. Their yelling and whooping alone are enough to stampede men not trained to their style of fighting. Some times they fight under cover and you catch a fire from an enemy you can't get a sight of, and again, they seem aM to spring out of the grongd 'at once and charge you as though nothing could stand their onset Then there'i the knowledge that if they catch you alive you'll be skinned alive, or burned, or your life tortured out of you by slow degrees in a thousand o.tber -=ay they can think of to make yotr suffer. There's many a stout-hearted desper-. ado, a terror in white settlements and not afraid to have a pistol or shotgun scrap any hour of the day or night with a man of his own color, who doesn't count for a row of pins in an Indian fight. "Take Sam Brown of Nevada for a case in point. He wasn't afraid of any man that wore boots, and he was the terror of the mining camps everywhere he went. The Piute Indians got bad one time and a party was organized in the camps to go out against them. Sam joined the volunteers, and every body in the party and all that stopped behind were talking about the big deeds Sam Brown would do, and chuc kling to think of the way those red skins would'be wiped out when the3 ,un up against him. "Well, when they came upon the In dians things didn't turn out quite as they had expected. It was the whites that got licked out In short order, and those that weren't left on the ground stampeded for safety. Sam Brown was one of the first ones to run, and the pace he set his horse at to get away from those redskins was something that beat quarter racing In the way of reckless riding. As they stampeded down a canyon, every man trying to be foremost to get away, Sam hailed Joe McMurtrie, who was riding a bet 'er horse than his: "'Oh, Mact Pull your horse a Ift tle so I can come up. We'lide safer *ogether.' - - "McMurtrie's answer to that invitation was to bend down to horse's neck, set in the spursan out of that canyon ahead of back to So4e as fast as h carry him. He knew Sam T that if that 1rthy once him off his horse so as to get a bett mount for himself. After they all got back to the settlement he didn't go round to places where he was likely to meet Sam, lest It might stir hIm up to unpleasant recollections bf their In ian campaign-people were that con< iderate of .others' feelings in those days when the other happened to br Sam Brown," Interpreting Naturo. Taking mankind at larg,. erhaus we should find them accounting for the henomena of nature quite as much from their feelings as from .reason. inds of the moat practical bent are ften the most servile slaves to prejn ice. The attitude of the Moamma tan mind toward modern scientific in uiry is shown ,by a little colloquy be. tween an Algerian Kabyle and an En. lish artist who reports' the conversk ton. On one occasion a group of Kabylee as standing around, -when I abruptly Lft ofi' working, and began gathering my painting traps together, "for," said ,"I see the wind Is blowing the cloudi n this direction; it will rain." - . "The wind does not push the clouds," aid one; "you cannot see them moving Ln different directions at the- sam !me.w "But surely," said I, "you can .pep ~eve any day that It is the wind that revs them." "Does the wind move the sun?' sale "N'o, of course It doesn't." "God said to the sun, 'Move alwa In one direction,* and to the clouds H# ~aid, 'Move about as you please.' "Is not that-so?' said he, appealing. >ohis companions. Esa Reverence Couldn't Fool Tinm. In one of ~our suburbs a few Sundays go the priest of one of the churches rnnounced that a collectin would be aken up to defray the .cost of coal for eating the church. Everybody chipped L but Tim--well, never mind his other ame-who gave a sly wink as the plate as presented to him, but nothing else. he priest noticed Tim's deeicm ut surmised that he might have left is money at home. Not quite enough money having been realized, a similar ~ontrbution was levied the followinig unday. As before, everyone gave but im, who looked mighty s 'and the riest wondered thereat . naeting Tim fter the service he took him to task or his conduct. "Now, Tim, why didn't ou give something, if only a penny?" Faith, father, I'm on to yez." "Tim!" Yes, father." "What do you mean?" Oh, nothing, father. Just that I'm on tz yez; that's all." "Tim, your word, re disrespectful and require an exple,. ation. What do you mean?" "Oh,' alth, father, a-thryin' to pull the w'eoeF ~ver mi eyes. A-thryin' to make us be leve yes wants the money to buy coal 10 heat the church, an' yer riverence ~nows it's beated by steam."-Bostoi raveler. Police of~cers say that when a man ~ngages In one shooting, and gets the et of It, ha is very apt to engage is nother,