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'top _ _ EION anO Stfatb. TRI-WEEKLY EDITION. WJNNSBOIRO S. C., SEPTEMBER 21 1893. EST ABLISHED 1849 MILLINERY, - MILLINERY, MILLINERY Always full in Hats and Bonnets, Flow ers, Feathers, Laces, Nets, Veiling and la test novelties of the season. A competent and experienced mil liner in this depart ment fully posted in. Styles, Trimmings, Etc. Special attention given to Mourning and made up Hats and Bonnets. Renewing Crepe Veils, Etc. J. 0. BOAG. ry Goods, Fancy Goods, Notions, White Goods, Carpetings, Cloths, atting, , I. BOAWS Pianos, Parlor and Chapei Organs. Fifty new and im proved light-running Family Sewing Machines, vertical and under-feed of thi best makes, different styles and prices. Also, a lot of good second hand Sewing Machines for sale cheap, by J. 0. BOAG. Different Sizes. CLOCKS, CLOCKS, CLOCKS. Family Groceries umConfectioneries J. 0. BOAO. Always on Hand Single, Open and, Top Buggies and Dout~e-Seated Vehicles. One. Horse Wagons. Singe and double harness. Pianos, Organs, Sewing Ma ehines, Cooking Stoves, Clocks, Buggies and Wagons, are all shipped direct from their va rious factories, therefore no agents expenses or commis sions to be paid for by pur shaser: The best goods tor the lowest prices for cash or good paper,;t J, 0. BOAB'S OLD STAND, Picture Fres Comoa, Baby Car a adoegs. O AQlmd HE HAD BEEN THERE. 4 littl3 memento she held tn her hand, While the tears sprayed eachroseate chee , for her grief was of that uncontrolable brand That only her heart could bespeak. tweet love had ordained for the precious night A meet with the youth she adored, But her tyrrannous pa had asserted his might, .And the maid in an attic had snored. The night to her prison no tidings had borne Of her Romeo's truth to the tryst, Ind her reveries brought her misgivings forloro Of his having been else Ahere enticed. knd now, in the light of the new-wakened day Released from her solitude grim, She had gone to the t? ysting-plAce.hoping alway For somo faith-proving tidings of him. )b! sweet reassurance! she saw at a glauoa What she straigbtway did ardently "ecoop' 'Twas a circular section of lavander pants on a step of the frosh-painted stoop, COGSMITH'S BACK. "The handkerchief 1 the handkerchief!r I am certainly the most unfortu nate man in the world. If not, how does It happen that I tm n.t married to Miss Priscilla Pritchard, only chi:d and soe heiress of the late not much lamented Jede 'lah Pritchard of Fritchardstown? She is worth a million and a half at the very lowest computation, and I-I'm not worth a penny, except in the way of credit. 1 am worth qu'te a sum in that way, however, and have plenty of unpaid bills to p.ove '.t. It was almost a sure thing. I know she would have said "Yes," it I had popped the question the last time we met. Oh, why didn't I pop the question the last time we met? It is of no use, I suppose, to cry aver spilled milK. She has gone and married another man, I understand, and I am set out in the cold. I can not cry, but I should like to do a lit. tlie swearing if it were not against my principles. You see, I .loved her passionately with my who!e heart and soul and was greatly in want of money. She entertained, I thinic, a strong feeling of regard for me, and as she had had very few offers for the last four years she might easily have Deen led to aocept my hand, heart, and ao, not my fortune; I have none, but we will say, my name, which is just as good, it a body only thinks so. Only she doesn't think so any longer. Let me col~ect my bewildered senses and relate the harrowing story. It may calm me. Peter Cogsmith Is one of my oldest friends. We were boys together. He is celebrated for two things onl,% so Tar as~I ilow.rr-for Tilf c -rUeyie, tstd -for carryl-tr tte largest, vulgarest silk handkerchiefs-all red, and yel low, ring-streaked and spotted-that ver were seen. Notwithstanding which be is an excellent fellow. If he bad been a little fellow, he might have been celebrated f .r that, too: but he had a ser:ouN faling-his back close y resembled that of a re spectable old bi'lter, with whom I am but slightly acquainted. I hate respectable old buiTers with whom I am but sI ghtly acquainted. I remember that when Cogsmith and I were at school together. he used already to carry those hideous hand kerchiefs, and it w.is considered rather a lark, among the boys, to steal them out of his po~lket. The head boy of our class had eight of them, all at once, that he had stolen and accumu ated.. "Ah, why did I remember the rolicsomue clays of boyhood? Why did I ever attempt to renew a for gotten sro:tiveness and an obsolete locundity? Let us pause to drop a briny pearl and pro eed with a fresh penful of nk. Business -which I loathe and de test-keeps rme occupied during the daytime, and my only hours of recre ation are tnose that .[ snatch from ~he balmy period of slumber. Therefore, I never had many op-. ortunities to visit Miss Priscilia ritchard, save on Sundays, and on the evenings of the week. My suit, then, prospered slowy, but . it did prosper. Oh, yes; did I not press her and unreproved? Did I not insin uate, three several times, that 1 con s dered her personal attractions con s derab!y superior to the average? id I not express my affection for her in a th:usand nameless ways--by sighs, by signs, by moans, by groans, by every means, in a word, that y'our skillul lover understands so well?~ Of course I d id. And she--she not onlv~ accepted all this homage so delicately tendered, but she gave me to understand that .he should like to have me keen at it, "Frailty, thy name is woman:" How truel It was one year ago last Wednes day night, that she and I sat alone in t he little extension room qff the back palor o1 Miss Pritchard's palatial :ity residence. We were alone. 1 had been getting along very tinely, i:u somebow I could not get my cour :.ge up to the point. So I eetermined to give myself one more chance the next night. I had a brilliant idea- something new and rginal. Young men, take warning by my ate: l\'ever trust brilliant, new nd original ideas. Strike while the ion is hot, and clinch the nail as won as possible. 31y idea was to invite Miss Priscilla ) accompany me to the opera and to ropose to her between the acts, in a rosceniurn-box. I Ilattered myvself et music's dreamy swell, the faint rfumes of the house en toilette, the ..eowed glitter of 1,000 lights, the - itchery of the spectacle, all would , nd an artful aid, and insure thea ccesS fo which I trembled. .I Concealing my emotion. I suggested the opera for the evening following, .n my airiest manner. And I can be very airy when I To my Infinite delight Mis3 Pritch. ard accepted the invitation, and with an avidity that made my hopes go up to the loftiest pitch. Assurance, I felt, was doubly sure. But alas! Who-who can read the future? What sagacity in that rellection! I retired to my humb:e abode, and slept the sleep of a happy and hope. ful man. The next morning, refreshed and joyful, I sought the counting-house of Podger, Strother & Co., whe:'e I earn my daily bread. I overdrew my salary, In order to pay for th. privato box, and the supper which I intended should follow the performance. I applied myself to my labors, and was cheerful; nay, vivacious to an un wonted degree. At 5 o'clock, leaving the offlice, I sauntered up Broad street, on my homeward way. I felt so good, I hardly knew what to do with myself. "No more adding up of wearisome columns, old boy," I said to myself; "no more plodding to and fro afoot, in an old Ink-staiued sack coat, No more hard times and short commons; but a coupe to ride down town in, and kid gloves every day. Iloorah!" As I mentally uttered this joyous exclamation, I saw Cogsmith loiter ing thoughtfully along, In his pe. culiar manner, just ahead of me. I decided to inform him of tne fact that I was to have a proscenium box, and a stunn:ng. splendid girl at the Academy of Music that night, to overwheim him and impress him with a belief that I was "in society," a regular heavy swell, and all that sort of thing. As I overtook him I noticed that his handkerchief-a more halefully odious one than ever--was hanging about six Inches out of his pocket. Remembering the ancient lark of our schooldays, and feeling, as I have said, uncommon'ly youthful and frisky, I -dexterously twitched the wretched rag from his pocket, and passed by him with a loud "ahem!" le did not look up and recognize me, as I thought he, would; and as I had got a step or two by I turned to confront him. Horror of horrors, ID wasn't Cog smith at all! At the same moment a horrible little boy shouted: "Say! Here! Mister! He's got yer hankerchiet." The person whom I had mistaken rof cogssitb,-buo who was quiae a respectaome-iooring old buffer, im mediately clapped his hand to his pocket, missed his handkerchief, and, collaring me indignantly, began to call for the police. "Stop, sr!" I vociferated, trying to pull away from him, "sto! I'm not the man-I thought you were Peter -upon my soul I did. You're mis taken, sir-I didn't steal It-I-" "You scoundrel!" cried the old gen tleman; "I'll teach you to steal in the streets! You villain! Police! Police!" A curious crowd gathered f-mmedi ately, and two oflcers stepped for ward. In endeavoring to free myself from my assailant's grasp I had lost my hat; my collar and cravat had been disordered, and my face had become extremely red. I felt that' circumstances were de cidedly against me. "Well, cully," said a flashy looking youth near me, in a sympathetic tone, "you're not fly at clay-faking, eh? Why didn't you sherry?" "'I think I know that cove," said one of the orncers; "I l.,lieve he's the same feller that grabbed some money from a boy as was comin' fromi bank last Monday." "He looks like a hardened ra cal," said the respectoble old buffer whom I had mistaken for Cogsmith; '-take him to the station-house at once!" In vain I expostulated, entreated and threatened. In vin I demanded permission to send for reference as to ry character and position. It was no go. I was Ignominiously dragged off to the station, with a ragged and dirty crowd jeering me. Just as the rabble had reached its pitch of noise and numbers, 1 met Miss Pricilla's cousin, the young man with the weak eyes ar'd the yellow mustache, who always hated me. He raised - his eye-glass. smeild scornfully, and passed by without a wo:d. Then I knew that my doom was sealed. To be brief, I wais locked up for examination. I gave the name ol John Smith to the magistrate, but a boy in the crowd-an errand boy in the store next to ours-knew me and informed the dignitary that 1 was traveing under an alias. I was registered, tben, under m-. own name, with "alias John Smith," tacked to it, for all the world like a veritable thief, and taken down to the filthiest, foulest cell Imaginable. The next day 1 was allowed to send rr anybody I wanted to see, and suc ceeded in proving my respectability suliently to be let off with a severe reprimand. But the arrest, and my name, were chronicled in all the daily papers. 1 wrote a note of apology to Miss Priscilla, for having broken my en gagement to take her to the opera. The note (she knew my handwriting) was returned unopened. I rushed to the house to give her a personal ex planation. "Miss Pritchard is not at home, sir," said the footman, with a super cilious grin. I met her on the 5th avenue, the next Sunday. She passed me with a i nave not been able to have word with her, or see her since; an I know, I feel, that the cup has be< dashed trom my lips foreve:: Oh why did Cogsmith's back closely resemble that of the respec able-looking old buffer? Am I not the mot unfortiuna =an in the world?--N. Y. 3Iercur A LARGE LUNCH. now Tunigian Soldiers Showed Their R gard for Their Captain. Capt. Bordier, now a civil o:l:c i at Maktar, in Tunis, gives an auut ing account of an experience wit some of his old Tunisian soldiers.sa the Youth's Companion. Some tin after he had left the army and ha assumed ortice at Maktar, he met the town of Bargon twelve soldiers the company which he had once cor manded. lie watinstantly recogniz and surrounded.-: "They all talked; once," he says. "They hung upc my bridle and upon my stirrups; th( embraced my hands; they grasped I boots and the tails of my coat. "God be praised! We have wait< for you so lona! Have you been we, And madam? And the childrei And our Lieutenant? -He was killed in Tonquin.' 'May God have mercy upon hil le was a brave man.' " 'And the sub-Lieutenaat ' " 'He was in Tonqu:n, and is nc a Lieutenant and decorated.' "'May God increase his prosperitv "At last I was able to dismioun and the good fellows hurried away. come back bringing mats and ru and cushions, that their old Capta might be , mfortably installed. "'We may offer you a lunch' 'Yes, but it is a warm day, ai one dish will be sutlicient.. "They hastened away, and I sa them holding an animated diszussio then ney disappeared in cifferei directions. I afte-ward learned th; the most profound of the band ha proposed to the rest that they shou all contribute to a dish and that h wife should cook it; but the othe were full of culinary pride. It w decided that each should bring me dish, for when I had said 'a sing dish' I had not specified whether fro each of you' or 'from you all t gether.' "I had finished an interview vi1 the town ofticials and was restin when 1 was informed: 'Sidi, yo1 lunch is coming.' "My twelve soldiers were approac ing, each with-Tan enormous dis Twelve dishes to eat on that h July day, with a terrible torrid siroc t~e appde .t1otagin! 7 dishes exactly-alike, cooked after recipe which no doubt had bee handed down from remote age Twelve mutton stews, swimming i rancic. oil, dressed with dry raisir and peas as hard as bullets. "I did my duty. I. tasted of th twelve dishes and swallowed twelv mouthfuls of milk, and informed eac of my hosts that bb dish was good very good, superior, delicious, agreea ble, exquisite, sujerftne, fragrant savory, delectable, or succulent "They were m'ucl pleased and d< clared that whenevar I visited Bar gon they should entertain mec. "I have been the-e since, but I ir vented a way to potect my stomac and to avoid hurtlig their feeline 1 arranged an ordei of precedence fo them according t> their mnilitar rank, the number~f years they ha been in the servie id theirsage. A every visit i state positively that shall accept lunchesn from some on of them, and I thuw resist the seduc tions of the others anod- preserve mn digestion, though lam no less grate ful for their kindnes and devotion. Nothing Skitthh About Ho'r. A Harlem clubnmn, who attemptet to play a practi'al joke, wvay non plussed in a ver- unexpected way H~e says: "I am very particula about fastening thi doors and win dows of my house. I do not intlen to leave them opel at nights as an invitation to burglars to enter. Yor see, I was robbed oice that way las year and I never m~an to be again: s< when I go to beGI like to he sn that every door ind window is se curely fastened. "Last winter mvire hired a hi strong country girl nd the newcomn er was very carelestabout the dloorc at night. On two ir three occasion, I came down stairsio find a windot~ up or the back doo0unclocked. I cani tioned her, but 't did no good.] therefore determin( to frighten her. I got some i ;se gliskers, and ont night, about 11 o'cck, I crept dlow r the back stairs to tb kitchen, wher< she was. She hadiurnedl down th. gas and was in heF:hair by the l~e. sound asleen, as I tuld tell by: he breathing; but theboinent I st-u!c. a mat-: she woke. "1 expected a fcat yelling an screaming, but not og of the sor! toolc place. She c ned out of hii sear with a "You -iilain' on het lips, seized a chair the back. and, before I had mna'e move, she lilt me over the bead, >rcing me to my knees. 1 tried to ' up, tried to ex plain who 1 was, b in vain. B~efore 1 could get out of troom she sti uck: me again, and it W. only after I had tumbled up the bat stairs that she gave the alarm. La she camne up to my room, rappL at the door. anc coolly announced: 'MGr. --, ple- get up! Jav killed a burglar. " Sew York 3Mer cury. Most of the centen ;ans in Engiand have been lean peopi emali eaters, anc very moderate drina. . The firet copper e. >rted from this country was a carg of nmnety tons a TURNED ASlu., r Flee!ng Foxf,..Oti. and Deer Give Notice of an Anbush. We were going down the peninsula 2ormed by the junction of the Yel. lowstone and Little Mlissouri rivers, loping to intercept the Indians and turn them back. It had beea a hard, vift march, a ridc of over 400 miles, with no halt above fourhours, and at 1) o'clock in the forenoon half the troops were sleeping in their sadales, as 1*ir lean and lame horses picked tIr* way over the rough ground. We had planned to reach the spot where the leeing Indians would cross the Little Missoiri a day or two te ahead of them. We believed we had accomplished it. At 10 o'clock we were within two mines of the spot. Then the head of the column halted for th' men to close up. Our line had strung out for a iiiile or more. t etween us and the crossirn, as the halt was made, nature had made a ' high way. It was a grassy road, about 1 wentv feet wide, twi-ting and turn IIg like a creek. Either side was lined with dense thickets. Half a mile down thehighway It was crossed by a creek with stee banks. Half a mile farther on was a second creek. It was hardly more than a rivulet at this season, but the width from Danl to bank was forty feet and the banks were ten feet high. Our guide had never passed over 0he route. No man in the colunin of 200 men knew what lay beyond the first turn. t The halt to close up was a Drecau 0 tionary measure, bit no one dreamed 1 of danger. It the hostile Indians 1 had not turned back or changed their route they should still be forty or nfty miles to the south. The strag -lers had come up, the sleepy tro->pers had braced up under the eyes of their 3ficers, and the bugler was about to :ound the forward when the half-breed it uide and scout held up his hand in t warning. A deer came running up d the grassy lane at full speed and was d r within ten feet of the colone,'s horse when it wheeled to the right and vanished into the thicket. Next is mame a fox, who ran under the feet a >f a dozen horses before he found e ;helter. Then a second deer-then ,hree or four rabbits. "What is it?" asked the Colonel of lie guide. "Ambush!" was the brief reply. ' "Where?" ir The guide waved his hand to .ig nify that it was down the lane some where. "Iow do you know?" A "See thatI" A big gray wolf roundea tMe turn a hundred_ fe a. full a -speea. Tne nair on tits tlack stoo up, his tail almost dragged, and it was easy to see that he had been dis turbed and was put out about it. "Injuns down there:" said the 4uide. "We are too late. They have Zot hera tirst and we are in am bush:" "But what makes you think so?" persisted the Colonel, who was im patient to go ahead, and yet too pru dent to needlessly expose his com mand. .Deer--fux-rabbi t3 - wolf!' re plied the guide. "All were fright ened. All running away from some thing. 1njuns down there waiting for us. We go some other wvay." We turned to the left and f!anked the position. We had made a dis tance of seven miles when Indians Wvere seen and skirmishing began, but tlhey soon'retreated southwards, and as we followed .them up they crossed the Little Missouri. It was the band we had hoped to intercept, but why did they turn back without a tight? Everybody was asking the luestion when a few of us rode off to inspect the amblush. Tee death t ap had been set for us between the creeks. The lower end of the avenue had been blocked with felled trees and bushes, and trees partly cut dow n would have locked the upr end a oaon as the last horseman had passed. The road' here narrowed to Ii ften leet. Wherever there was an op'ning in the hushes which lined the sie t had been closed with thorns. From sunrise that morn ing the In lians had been waiting for us. Al most two hundred warriors were inl hiding behind the hushes, ready' to thmru-t cat thiei r ri ies and lire at the signal. P'erched in the trees aon tihe way we.e half a hundred i~S armued with bows and arrow.:. ilid den away under thme tanks of the creeks were a hundred more squaws, armed w'th hatchets, knives, or ci hs. Rt was not to be a battle, b ut a m.:ssa'Tre No meroy was to bIe -!hown-not an prsoner takenm. Scots had observ e i mur approaceh anid re portedi. Whenm 'h 'i had of our col umn had airlyV entered the lane th e eng.r suws ad impulsive boy. C ubl hard 1v b e con trcih-.;. In thir mov'ng a' ut to'y friuhtonedi wild a; iinm' v:l of their r.-i reel a' n e-nt ni. th, arin IiThe did not i kumsw why w.e hd Ihalm1ted he-itated. an:i then took~ another war. For h::i; an' hvur thioy waited wi:th the scow of hate o'n thei r b ronzed fa Cs- -with the savageness of deils~i in t-l'i hearts --wahl eyes wich~ glared and I dlinted as they roamed about in ;earch of the exuetd prey. Then thbey whisperedl to each ether: --Thy have ta'ken another wray : The Gjreat Spirit sent them a warn ig to t un aside : We c:annot ligh t the e mun. let us r cross the river| . and return to the agency :"-F'ree Press. A Linmie Chinese Aristoerat. The C.ity of Wiahngton will soon I - ose one of ite pictnresque figuires. :is the present Chinese Minister's termni soon exqpires and he will take his ilt tie daughmter back to China with him. ILittle Miss Mi was born in Washing rntwo years ago. She can "cinr-1 cnin" a little in English, and is dem ocratic in her mingling with and reeting other children and citizens in Dujcnt Circle. where she takes her airings. She Is a charmitig little doll, as droll and quaint a figure as 3ne can see in sweeks, in her red frocks, junk shoes and tiny embroid ered cap, and is docility and serenity herself. She is a model of manners to the wild little Americans in the park, blinking her little black eyes at the flower beds, pointing at the :>lossoms. clapping her hands with !ov, but never exercising her diplo matic privelege of defying the police ,an and of arrest by helping herself :o the pcsie. -Philadelphia Ledger. A Royal Benefactor. In his "Life and Times of King William IV." Mr. Percy Fitzgerald :ells the following story of the good aatured sailor-prince, then Duke of: Jlarence. One morning when the Prince, having received his commis ;ion and his ship, was on his way ot ,is tailor's in Flymouth, to get the 3ew uniform, at a street corner he ;aw a boy crying, and stopped to in juire the cause. The lad looked up :hrough his tearz, revealing a hand iorne. winning, and intelligent face, ind replied that his mother had died )mlly a few days before, and that he .ad been cast honieless upon the ;treeh "Where is your father'" isked the Prince. "He was lost in :he Sussex, on the Cornwall coast two -ears ago." "How would you like to go to sea :n a tirst-rate man-of-war?" The >y's face briht'ned as he answered that he shou d like it very well. The Prince took oat his p.ocket-book and ivrote somethinug upon a slip or pa Sper, which he gave to the buy with a shi'ling. '> down to the docks," ic said, 'and with this shilling you .vill hire a boatman to carry you oif :o the Pegasus. When you get on :ocard the ship, you will give this pa per to the oflicer whon you find in :harge of the deck, and he will take :are of you. Cheer up, my lad! Show me that you have a true heart, and you shall surely Eind a true tciend." Arrived on board the Pe ,asus, the oiicer of the deck received aim kindly, and sent him to sit apon a gun-carriage under the break >f the poop. In less than an hour the Prince came of1 in his new uni ,orrn; and the boy was strangely :noved u;on discovering that the man who had promised to he his friend was none other than William, Duke of Clarence, and Captain of the frig ite. 'Ihe boy, whose name was Al; bert Dover, was taken into the cabin, rhere the Prince que-stioniP'him,and tortnhanth ho ordprod him to L0Zabod 2s a midshipman, an from his own purse he procured him an outfit. L)urircg the voyage to the American :oa;t the P-ince became strongly attached to his youthful protege, k eeping him about his person contin ually and instructing him ir general branches of education, as we.1 as his profession. Time passed on, and the boy grew to a man, serving Kiu and rountry faithfully. In time William hecame King, and signed the com mission which made [Al0ert Doyer a Rear Admiral. Hie exclaimed as he put his signature to the do nument, '-There-if I have ever done a good -Ieed for England, it was when I saved to her service that true and .worthy m an"' 3fasses far Victor Hiugo. A few weeks ago an old negresa Camne from Bridgetown on the sland of Barbados, to a missionary and asked him to read three masses for Victor Hugo. The missionary was astonished, and at first believed that he misundersrou:i the visitor. But the negress replied to his questions that years ago she had given aid to Hlugos daughter, who had married an English otlecer against the will of her father, and fled with him to Barbados. The omcer deserted his wife, who con seouently became almost insane, and was cared for in that condition by the negzress. The nearess wrote to the 1.oct of the sad condition of ih, chihd. Hugo sent hcer?, 000 fi-ancs and had her go to Paris with his d:aug;hter. After remaining a time in the house of the author the negress decided to return to Ilambados. One reason for this wa the fact that the poor daughter hA h ecomne incurably in sane and been consigned to an asylum. 'The in> et, wI 0 respecte-' the negre s because of the hjve she~ hai borne his daughter, -aId t bc efore l:er departure from Iaris: "Whenm you hear of my deat h in your nal ive country have three m::s. se's remi for mec. The old woan, who fir-t hard (,A I the death of \ l tar HIugn a 0:w nonth:s ago, ha now julitUiie-i the wishes of the poet. .:nanu can gct a hui-and if she onlyV are the ii. Miss~ Tingleton - \nd isn't it soimetimes the case th ati iwoman marries simi; because she asn't a wmind?-Uutn Tratuoript, T'I'cet-Tihe med ine 'a en an: :in the educators of the J udiao-." ;icer-How do vou m.:Rke 1thait out? lri vvet- Because after a imedi. line, n2n has CUredl an ludm:n tie patient xcomies a weil red man.--Exchange. .li'ninne Fconomiy. Teacher-What is econon .y? Ia --l;nying cheaper thinigs ihan your other sends you for, so as; to have amne money left for (andyi. Chollic-Can you recorn4a allt hcn you see it. Mies b ut K- Miiss ith (looiking around:2-Certaai: SUPPOSE WE SMILE. HUMEROU.S PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. Pleasant Inclients Occurring the World Over-Sayings That Are Cheerful to the Old or Young -Funny Selections Tha Everybody WiL Enjoy Beading. A SmaU Revenge. Antique Maiden-I am sorry that I must refuse your offer. I am sure I neyer intended to encourage you. I should have though t that you might have read that much in my Ice. The Rejected-I am not very efrt at reading between the lines.-Texas Siftings. George Knew a Thing or Two. Minnie-1 thought you intended t sit bareheaded at the theater here after? Mamie-I did intend to but George wouldn't let me-the jealous thing! He was afraid all the men behind us would fall in love with Tie. -Indianapo'is Journal. A bsent-Minded. "0h, sir, please, I have swallov ed a pin:" exclaimed a servant girl, iun ning into her master's surgery. --Never mind, Mary," he replieddeep in study, -never. mind; here's an other," drawing one from his Din cushion.-Exchange. Feif-Evident. "The United States Senate Isn't what it used to be." caid Hawkins. '-The days of Seward and Webst-r are gone." -Of course they have," said I'hillips. 'You wouldn't have had those days preserved in alcohol, would youy"-Exchange. A New Type-Writer. "The type writer I am introJucing has many improvements over any other maKe ->n the market." said the canlivatsser. "What, for instance?" * It , an spell correctly the most diffi cult words in the English language.-' -Lxch.inge. Too Much of a Good Thing. Jimson-What became of that man who had twenty-seven medals for sav ing people from drowning? Dock Worker-Ie fell in one day when he had them all on, and the weight of Mmai sunk him. -New York Weekly. An Insinuation. r ukane (with a critical puff)-Did you buy these cigars, Gaswell? Gas well ksurprised)-Of course! Why do you askyl Dukane-I thought by Lbeirj.d19d you might have cabbaged them. -Pittsbuirgh Chronicle. Another Matter Entirely. Mrs. Dimling (to her daughter) Why are you so censorious about A my? The Bible says we must love our enemies. Miss Dimling-But she's not my enemy. She's my dearest friend.-Exchange. A. Bad Drawback. First Tramp-Who wouldn't be a pretty little flower? It stays in bed all summer. Second Tramp-Yes, but think of the water you would have to take. during that time. Ugh' -Norristown Herald. C..anting the Cost. William Ann-Four dollars a day with extras Is pretty high for a moun tain hc-teL. Landlord-But you should think of the scenery. William Ann-How much do you charge for that?-ruth. A Hard Place. First Store Boy-Bow do you like your new plate? Second Store Boy Don't like it. If I don't do things right they'll get another boy and If I do do things right they'll keep me doin' 'em. An Af~Iction. Fore ign Visitor-Why does that Chinamnan say "lats" instead of "ratsi?" Host-He can't sound the r." Foreign T isitor-Ah, I see - brought up in New York. -New York 'Yeekly. ____ Just Catching On. Duane-Great heavens! that car is sither tilled with madmen or there has been some sort of an explosion. lleade-Nonsense; the gripman has simlly taken hold of the cable. .Judte. Lcxury in the Coal-Yard. First Tramp-Hi, Bill! You're yin' on anthracite. Second Tramp -1 know it. What's wrong? First ramp-Well, come over here. I've ust struck a lot of soft coal. -Judge. Worse and Worse. Tokes-Glilleland is so stupid that na:ny people think him wise. Meek n-His case is even worse than :at. Ie is so stupid that he thinks bislf wise, -Exchange. PFromptly Funished. Starter-i met a man this morning who said I looked like you. Smart ey-Tell me who he is and I'll go inl knock him down. Starter-I lid that myself.-Judge.. A Wrong Supposition. 'So Mr. Henpeck has ran off and ft. his wife." "I don't blame him. L uest he got tiredI of being bossed." It cant ba that. He ran o!i with he cook."-Life. The Bliss of Ignorance. "Why are the beads of the flerures n the tiashion-plates aiways turned ir they were icoking back?" a~o ey cann.ot see what guys they are." -Truth. As engagement is a dlicate thing. Eeu can't drop one without breakina, ................. .