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A JOYFUL GOnETI*. Hellol How aro you? I am glad at last your eyes have fallen upon me. Now that we have m1 prey oulivate the aouaint. ance, for it my purpose to inter t and servo you. Between you and L though only a newspaper article, I am ambiious. Having a portentous mea for all mankind, if it bo oor iIally rcooved its import truly real. ired and acted upon, shall be considered a world's benefactor. Could have no higher ambition you will admit. A misanthrope of ample means deter mined to end his life by drowning himself. Going to the banks of the canal, found the time not favorable for the purpose, a num.. ber of persona being in the vicinity, and day light still present. He concluded to walk along the towpatl} until it was dark. While doing so, he heard piteous ories issuing from the door of a hovel near by, and uncon soiously walked over to the place, and found a poor family consisting of a mother sur rounded by several children, who told him of their sufferings for food. He took from his pocket his wallet and handed it to the woman, reasoning with himself that ho would not need it. The grateful thanks and praises that he received from the recipients of his bounty awoke emotion in his breast, of such a pleasurable character, that he changed his suicidal intent, and decided to live for others. His future life became re ploto with good deeds-many a dark home and heart were made bright by his prosence. Well, my appoarance in these columns, springs simply from a desire on the part o thoso I represent, to benefit your news-do. vouring race. My province is to help you, your friends, your relations, aye, even your t other-In-lau, if that interesting lady be not already far beyond the pale of good influ onces. I am sent among men to bear tidings of a discovery that marks an epoch as' mportant to the health of mankind as Newton's apple and Franklin's kite were to natural science. The sick the discouraged, the dejected, the broken down, and the despairing may now all find a cure, certain as the Jordan proved to the Syrian leppor. It is only necessary, as in the ease of that sufforer of old, to fol. low directions. The agent which I herald builds up the system, sweeps the cobwebs from the brain, and sends pure, invigorating blood dancing through the arteries to the music of happy laughter. The gloomy, wornout man of business, by proper use of this wonderful medicino, will he enabled to moot trouble and reverses like a'pian. Then, in perfect health, he will not hav6 abnormal views of the "Vicissitudes of fortune, which spares neither man, nor the proudest of his works, which buries empires and cities in a common grave." The Weak and nervous woman, just able to drag hprself, in "moping melancholy" through duties of the day, may steal the bloom rom blush roses and have eyea as bright a id sparkling as the dewdrops nost ling in soir leaves; and the poor little baby, now d' ligured with pimples and scabby sores, n ny be made swoet, cool and wholo some a -"that, youngster of Mrs. Blank's, across so way, w%hose family is always in a glow o healt h." Don't you know the roa eotn? 'No." Thou I will tell you. For years .our neighbor has never been without Dr. iorco's Golden Medical Discovery. ' is remedy is a medicine, not a beverage, d is to be taken according to full and per fectly plain directions accompanying each bottle. It is spooilo, but not a patent mod icine, and contains no vile narcotics or viler liquor. It is a prescription used for yours by the well-known physician, Dr. It. V. Pierce. of Buffalo, N. Y., whose name is a household word in innumerable homes all over our own and foreign lands. The Golden Medical Discovery is prepared and offered to the public by the World's Dispon sary Medical Association, a body corporate, existing by and under the laws of the Stato of New York; its president is Dr. Pierce, the great specialist in chronio diseases. 'Tho doctor has devoted .the best years of a very busy and wonderfully successful life to the relief and cure of his sufforing follow men and ata time when high political honors lay broadly ,open before him, Dr. Pierce re signed his seat in the Congress of the United States, simply from a sense of duty toward others. His associates in the groat sanatar ium represented to the doctor that the im mense business of their association do nmanded that his personal attention ahould be paidi to the great army of p'atients crowding upon them from every clinmo. D)r. Pierce is also the founder of the Invalids' HIotel at Butfalo, N. Y. This establishment, possess.. ing all the comforts and luxuries of a first class American hotel, has in addition the daily attendance of a largo faculty of omi nient specialista, whose practice collectively cover thme whole fiold of surgery and chronio diseases. The laboratory in which D)r. Pierce's Golde.n Meodical Discovery is pro l are(d is anm obajci, of interest and wonder, It hais a frontage of one hundred feet, a depth of one hundredl anud twenty-five feet, and1( is six storics high. In thi i mammoth and pa Ilatial workishop two hundred Iorsons are constm,ntly employed in putt,ing up Dr. Pierce's iedcinosu. Whtilo the Golden Miedical Discovery's curat.ivo effeots are almost, immediately felt, it is not mterely a temporary stimulant, but is as certammly a safe and compilete cure, in aldl cases for wVhichl it is recommended, as it is that certain misery and (loath will follow t heir neglect. D)r. Pierce's Golden Modical Discov.ory tvill not eure club feet, will not refurmish armless or legless unfort-unat,es with now and perfect limbs, nnd it is not guaranteed that even a dozoni bottles applied to any.stray portiomn of a second handl uk ole ton, wvill develop such member into an ani.. mate, human form iinom (?). uIn brief, it is not asserted that this medicine will, or can, counteract the decrees of Providenco. 80 an all caises whon high state of civilhm.atn andit cultivat ion lhas engendered disease anmd sitiferinmg, wherebiy Go;d's natural man' hats b'ecomoi a nervou,,s, airticial being, the Gbold en bledical D iscovery muil! p)ositiremly restore to him thme strong, vigorous, self asserting life, from which, abmiost unconsciously, lie had drifted far. and pe.rhmaps hoplesuly away. It is clauimeod, and guaranteed, if this modi (1m1 be0 used as proscribed, and faithfully liersevered in a re'asoablle time, it will per tiiunenlty cure liver compllaint, andl the var ious blood disorders consequent uponi torpor of thme liver, in all their various formis and ranmilicat ions, including bironc'hitia, con.. sipht ion, whuich is scrofula of thme lungs, dyspepsia, costiveness, sick-headacheo 2' ni i diseases, fever and agmo, matlgrin. ,-iuid other disorders arising fromm. poisoned or dotorior " .' blood. - TLhiis uaonmderful mied ici no cures all humors, from the worst, scrofula ton comnmnon bilotch, limuple or eruption. Krysilelas, salt rhoumn, fever sores, scaly or rough skin, ini short, all diseases caused by bad blood, are conquered by this powerful, purifying andt invigoraitinzg miedioimo. Great eating ulcers rap)idhy lieal un mder its beign'm iniluiences. Espeially has it umanifested its p)otoncy ini curin4 totter boils, carbunacles, soreofuleus sore.s anid swelhiags, wvhiro swollings, goitre or thiok neck, and enlarged glandis. Cosmmptioni, wvhichi is scrofulous disoaso of the lunmgs, is . 'romiptly anid positively arrested and cured by this sovereign and (God-given renmedy, if taiken before the last stages aro reached. For weak lungs, spitting of blOd, con. suniptive night-sweats, and kindred affec tions, it is a sovereign remedy. For indi gestion, dyspopsia and torpid liver, or "bil. ousness,", Golden Miedical D)iscovery has no equal, as it effects perfect and radical cures. Toc all sufforimig from lassitude, weariness, despaondoney, lack of vigor orambition, b)o it lnan, womnan or child, Dr. Pierco's Golden AMedical. Discovery will sipeedily implart new tone, vigor andt life to the whole system. 'J ha haggard face will grew round, ruddy, and henamwith timeoxpression of long lost con.. lidenco. TIhi step will b)0 fIrm andit olastic, anmd the relieved sufferer will once moreoenjoy si conmmon wvith fellow mcmi that feeling of p'rop)rietorsmhp in earth, air and beinig, only fully renhzoid by thoso in perfect health. The Golden Miedicatl Discovery will not make drunkards or opium eaters; on the contrary, any tun forttunate, driven by trouble, adversity or mnherited appetite, to the use of insidiouis stimulanta, will find the Discovery of great assistance in offorts to break the chamns biniding him to a shameful and miser able existence. Those, feeling only "out of sorts," with no predominant symiptoms, and who If asked, unl find It diffiult to ext)lain thenir mensa tioins, will find a sovereign remedy ini the Gioldeii Medical Discovery. Those who are Irritabile, potula t, or fret ful, ever seeing thle gloomy sido 0of'life; who ima inc "the time is out of joint;" to whom think the wholo world is arrayed aga ist lifem, an iati,atudn cmit at eryig wurn hiddlDiscovery will radically cure them, when It will be found, to t,heir lasting benefit that life amid thme world have not changed, but that disease hiad thrown clouds of misery and woe about them, through whichh all thins w ere seen, as "through a glass Let no sufferer be dIscouraged because he n he hla. a tried other medicines without nt. an taot, wnesei a tPW Ifa ord's ensary Medral tigr rDr. Pieroo olden Medical Dsoo When all other nedttnes, fat this be t , and no one will be doomed to further disap pointment. The Golden Medical Disoovery is a pre scription of a physician with a wlde.awakf reputation and an honorable tion t< maintain. It is far beneath the gnity of Dr. Pierce to lend his name to any vile no. trdm, or catch-penny preparation, wherebV the publio may be deceived. Havin usec hisi Discovery for many years in his un preoedented private practice, he is qonvinoet it is indeed a specific in diseases mentioned Desiring this marvelous cure shall benefit not only those with whom he comes person. ally in contact, but that all mankind may be embraced in his grand plan for the ameliora tion of human suttering the doctor, through the World's Dispensary 'Medioal Association, earnestly and most confidently recommende his Golden Medical Discovery to the public at large assured the most skeptioal will be thoroughly convinced of its worth by a trial of a single bottle. In stubborn, or long-seated affections, and where the bowels are very costive, the gentle though certain action of the Discovery, wil bomore rapid,andsatisfactoryby supplement, ing Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Purgative Pellets in small daily doses of one or two. These 1>4l1s (the original and only genuine Littk Liver Pills) are purely vegetable, sugar. coated, and very small, yet by the peculi process used in their preparation, they pea seas the strength and virtue of larger and unpalatable pills. Pleasant Purgative Pellets will speedily remove all ill and die agreeable effects arising from over-eating or drinking, and are recommended as a ca thartio at all times, being perfectly safe, sure and unattended by the griping pains usually experienced in the use of purgatives lese carefully prepared. Promptly resorted to, these little Pellets will radicaly cure indi. gestion biliousness and sick-headache, thus saving the patient from serious and lingering disorders. Dr. Pierce, the President of the World's Dispensary, and his faculty of twelve skilled speoialists, can be consulted by letter or in person in any case of chronic disease requiring either medical or surg'cal treatment free of charge. For those desiring more exhaustive information than can bi impartea through correspoudunco, the doctor has written a book, called "The People's Common Sense Medical Adviser, in Plain English; or, Medicine Simplified." This work alone is a goodly harvest for an ordinary life, and stamps its author a pro found scholar and a very remarkable man. The book contains nine hundred and twenty two pages, illustrated with two hundred and eighty-six wood cuts and colored plates and makes plain as a b, o, anatomy, ysi ology, materia medien, practiceof me cine, hygiene, temporainents, psychology, eto. and answers in plain, easily-to-be-under stooc. terms all questions that may arise within their range, espocially those ques tions the would-b inquirer is deterred by fear, or modesty, from asking the family or other physician. That all may be enabled to acquaint themselves with matter so vital to health, happiness, and success, the price of this groat work has boon fixed at one dollar anid lifty cents, postpaid by mail to any ad dress, while smaller and far inferior hooks, Purporting to cover the sante ground, have sold atfivo dollars a copy. It being the aim of the proprietors of the Common Sense Medical Adviser to reach not only the aillu ont, but also those in moderate, and even straitened, circumstances, the price of the work places it within the reach of all. AGIROULTURE. (lool now milch cows are very high u price In fact they are always high at this season of the year. There is cally more profit in having the best low of milk through the spring if suit Lble food, ensilage roots and grain are )rovided. The old plan of having most nalves dropped in the Spring and thus ecuring the best flow of milk through he hot weather when it is least valua ilo; had just one point to recommend t. Calves could do bettor weaned while hey could run at fresh grass than on lry hay and cornataiks in winter, But inee the introduction of onsilage even his argument has lost much of its veight. DURINo the warm season, when allow id to lorage for themselves, each fowl rathors several ounces of meat daily. (ow, the supply of grasshoppers, bugs, has and woi ma has failed,and it should e furnished from the table, the scrap 'ot or the market. Green food is also one, and this should be furnised in abbages, vegetables, apples or cut c1o 'or. A warm breakfast should be given nid teoro should be no lack in the'sup ,ly of dIrimk. A meat diet with grain un vegetables is essential to the well >oing of fowls (luring cold weather,when vornms, bugs and insects are not to be 0ound( by the birds. SQvaumIEs are often stored in the barn ni one heap until they get chilled, when hey are carried into a damp warm eel ar, where they soon iot, and( the owner a at a loss to know the reason, When tored in heaps,if the storehouse be dry he under squashes wil send1 out moist ire in such quantities na to keep the vhole heap surrounded by moisture, iquashes, to keel) well, should not only >O kept ini a dry atmosphere, wvith a tory ovcn temperature, but they should >c spread on thre floor, or on shelves, so 1hat the air can roauily pass between ~hom. .oRoo hraa ventab,li. A potutues, boots, turnips, cabbage, etc., nw, for the chickens, and take the place< grass. If these are not to be had, son oats may be planted in pots or boxe and kept in the kitchen window grow. The young blades of the oa may be clhyped off with a pair of sheai and cut up line and mixed into the oti or food once a day, or some nice fix hay may be cut into short bits and steei ed in warm water until it is soft, an thou mixed with the other food. It : important that chickens should hay green food of some sort, HON. JTAMNs WILsoN states that b feieding cattle with flax-seed meal tl e gained each 800 pounds in three monh] and twelve days, or about one poun por~ day. His experience with foodin corn was that it required five moniti to accomplish the same result in weigh It keeps stock healthy, and is cheap( thani corn comp1aratively. Mr. Wilso (toes not recommend it as a proper too for p)rognant hoitors. He isof the opir ion that it should be fed on every farn: not only for the practiceof economy,bii b r its nitrogenous qualities. WE hardly think it pays t0 koee ducks for laying p)urposes. T1he bett< p)lan is to slaughter all that are not war ted for breeders, as soon as they comn to maturity 'imd are in full feather. Tih feathers of ducks are valuable. Thos of Pokin ducks are almost equal in sofi niess to geese feathers. TAn Farm and Gar-den will not b satisfied regarding the ensisnge quest lo. until a comparison is made between en slage and good corn fodder, that ha received the same care and preparatloi as the food ma the .ido. It states tha ensilage is ha' vested at a particular tim fluely out and ear.-'fully packed away and corn-fodder should be also cut whel it is in its best state, rui) through a cut ter and kept in good oindition., Whei fed in competition with ensilaige afte each pre*paration the value of the feede is beheve~d to be as great as that of the nit -. DODMTIO. HOW TO OAAva AT TABL-All thene eesary strength can be brought to beai while seated by fnelining the bod3 sufficiently forward. During all tht pauses in the carving the knife and forli should be placed on the knife-rest, anm never thrust under what is being carved, Nor should the knife and fork be held in one band while adding the gravy with the spoon hi the other. Do nol tilt the dish while serving the gravy, ox the table-cloth may be soiled, or the xoast capsized. 13hould there be no gravy-well a tiny crust of bread may be placed under one end of the dish to cant it a little. Serve horse-raddish with the fork. Up to the moment of using the gravy spoon should be in a vessel of hot water placed at the right hand of the dish. Hot plates are essential to the perfect condition of roast meat; even a secoud hot plate for a second helping. It is scarcely necessary to caution the carver not to forget to ask what the preference is before carving. When carvincr fish, if salmon, avoid bre ak'ng the flakes by dividing cross wise; carry the knife down to the bone lengthwise of the fish, and remove a slice of either the thick or thin part, as preferred. Macxerel are split at the tail, and the upper half raised from the bone at that part; the bone is removed and the lower half served either entire or divided in sections. This applies to mcst other small fish, In carving a turk ey or chicken, roasted or boiled, place it with the nek toward you; tako off the leg at the first joint and then the thigh, or take off the whole leg and then joint it. Remove the wing close to the joint, leaving the breast intact. Then commence from the wing joint, cutting straight into the bone and somewhat diagonally up to the front of the breast-bone. Remove the side bones by placing the fork firmjy into the breast-bone and cutting with the knife from the tail end. With a goose or a duck, after the joints are removed, as already desoribed, draw the knife straight across the breast-bone the entire length of the meat and directly to the bone, serving outwardly and with paits of the meat Irom the thigh. A CUp oF CoFEsE.-To make a good cup of colleo, an especial art is requis ite. Many women who pride themselves, and justly, upon their skill, fail here. For early risers, and those who require an early breakfast, there is a mode of making coffee so gener.ally practiced as to be almost umlversal in this country, and that is simply to boil the ground coffee for a few minutes and then either settle the grounds with cold water or give them time to settle gradually. This mode can be greatly .improved by cork ing the spout with a cork, cloth or paper, thus preventing the escape of the steam, which ai ises from the boiling coffee. By the escape of steam we lose much of the aromatic flavore that renders coffee so palatable.. Lot those who cook coffee alter this method try this plan, and they will find a vast im provument. An eminent chemist roe omniends the following as a favorite way of making this now universal bever age: Three-fourths of the coffee should be boiled and the remaining fourth infused, after which the whole should be mixed. By this means both the strength and the flavor are increased. L'o preserve the f1avor of ground collee it should be wvet with the syrup of sugar and then oovered with powdered sugar; in this way the volatile parts of tihe coffeco are prevented from escaping. As heretofore said, coffee, after beig m Oasteri, should be kept excluded from the air and kept in a dry place if uut used at once, as it absort>s moisture from the atmosphere and gradually ioses its flavor. flNrs---Drive awvay rats with chlor ide of iime. -'-Touch warts with a diroplet of nitric acid.-Pour two quarts of boiling water on a cupful of oatmeal, cover it, let it stand on the hot range all night, or all day, and see how you like it served with milk and sugar. ---Always put a light cover over house plants while the room is being swept. --Take advantage of moderate weath er in winter, and throw open the cellar windows for the escape of bad gases. --Fruit will not keep well if the tem perature is above lorty ylegrees. KERIOSENE S3MOK.-The moat disa greable thing about a house in summer is the kerosene smoke. The good wife, whenever she is not sewing or reading. turns the lamp down to save oil, and the lamp immediately smokes like a Turk or fire-engine, aIfd the mosquitos come to enjoy the p.offume. .Drtit~ a this if you want your parlo.r/-to be plear ant. If economy be .jrncessary, p)ut th light out altogether. ' J UTia~ AND 8OALDs.-Thei very bee ,i thing to be done when any one hai ,a received a burn or scald, is to lay on th< ,part that is injured a thick coating o a cotton wool or wadding, so as to com a pletely exclude the air. If the abov< Swool happens to be not at hand, scrapet potato or turnip will ease the pain. -To KEEP Eaos.-Pack in dry wvheal d bran, small cud (lown, in layers, so thai a they shall not touch each other. Keel c in a col, dry place. They 'aill com< out fresh anid good in the spring.J speak from experience.. y Tins newest thing out in parlor stover a has the facing of polished brass, a ham tI mered iron interior, and grate or frame g work of encaustic tiles. a . Tra latest fashion of hanging curtaimu r is to nail them to a strip of wvood whjicts a fits closely to the window-frame. T1hii i style .will replace the rings that hiavi . been in favor so long. LIGnT and sunshine are nleedful foi your health. Oct all you can; keep~ your windows clean; do not block thenm up with curtains, plants or bunches 01 r flowers-these blas poison the air ol . small rooms, CILADREIN well cared for as to cloth. e lng and bathing, as to treatment uinder -slhght ailment before it becomes chronic, may attain to hardy constitutioma, to live long and healthfully, a blessing to the race and the name they bear. A MEDIOAT, paper says that allspice is a sovereign ren'.dy ior croup, wutting the phlegm almost instintly and indunI Sing free breathing. S THOSE who take anodynes to promote sleep, insteadl of procurmig it by modler Sate bodily activities in the open air, mike a dangerous experiment. A file cleaner is a scratch brush of ewire; a thin brass edge, which acts as a rake; or a card, such as Is used in card ing cotton, A DAO A 0' o imistress sued three young men for br a.h of promise. The counsel, for one W the defendants moved I for a non-suit o e ground that she Was too prondad&s . The court seemed disposed to grat t the motion. whereup. on the plaintif skedl "udge, did you ever go duck shooting?" His Honor's eye lighted up Vt#h the pride of a sports man as he answeied: "Well, I should say so; many's' the time I've brought down half a dozen at a shot." "I knew it," eagerly added the fair plaintiff, "that is just the oase with me, and I winged three of them." The motion for a non-suit was denied. By contracting a 'severe Vough and U'd, I was compelled to give up my d.i'y work and keep to the house. A neighbor re i ended me to try a bot tle of Dr. ul'it; gh Syrup; It was procured and iA to my astonishment relief was instantaneous. EDW. W. CLAvrON, Waverly, Md. "IT was in the oasis of Ben Sehnek erab last year," says a bronzed and weather-beaten soldier, modestly, After his comrades had finished their recitals of heroism, "and I was posted far in advance, when suddenly I saw three Arabs approaohing me all armed to the teeth. They had not perceived me, which was a point in my f4ver, so I quietly took out my bayonet, fixed it on my rifle, sprang out as they drew near and ran." "Rau 'em through ?" asks a breath lesa auditor, "No I Ran down the path to the pick et-yard and escaped 1" Frazer Axle Grease. One grea.ing )aett two wooks; all othors two or tbroo dayu. Do not be mposod On by the inunbug .tuffi ofr.:rod. Ask your doalkr for Fra zer's, with label on. Saves your horso labor and 3011 too. It received Ilrdt modal at the Conton. nial and Paris ExposItions. dold overywhero. WE had a peddler at the office on M' 'niday. He visited the composing room with a stock of sleeve-buttons. Taking a position in the middle of the room ho unfolded his stock and his ar guments. The farther lie advanced in the subject the more interest he appear ed to take in it. No one answered, no one ventured a suggestion, no one even looked at him. After fifteen minutes he began to falter, and at the end t. ? twe tyfilveminutes his voice had sunk to a wbisper and he was groping his way out of doors. The Confaitct 4f 1te Ri-ace,. letween d.aea,c andt health is. outet brief and fatal. It I- better to be pvvidtt wIth cheai, anl sninuplo reY,dedicu for .teh conmon disorders as coturtha. colds., ate., thttn to run the ti"k of . ottlrt tbig a fatal diseaso through neulect. Dr. Wtt. I1ull's 1'alatn Is. a nre and safe rincdy for all dswsies of the hhga aund ehest. If taken in ,e.Bon it is cr.tal, to cett and ut:y save you froms :hut terribls. dis.ease, t''ra'nsn tiotn. It hitsi been knowt and used f,tr utany years is .tiorlca, and it is 10 exu4rge atlot to ray that it is the titest riatently in tho eorlti for toughs. etc. Ask for I).. win. iull's Bal. stin for the .utu, and tuke tn other. Sold by all Druggists. "So you've had a proposal, oh ?" said a Harlem belle to a friend "Well, yes," she replied, reluctantly. "Of course you'll accept ?" "Of course I wilt not!" "5Why, don't 'you like tihe fellow ?' "No, indeed; 1 don't care two cents for him, and I'll show him how much I think of 1him1." "'Howv will you do it ?" "0, ll send him a point blank refu sal on a postal card 1" Is your haIr fallhng out or scalp dIseas ed? Uarbolir.e, a deodorized extract oit p)elroleum, as now improved andl, per.. fected, Is just the article you needl. Bisy a bottle, and, lhke thousands who are using it all over the land, you will value It as the choicest of all toilet prepara tions. "Wiio wrote Wordsworth's poems ?" asks an excnange. We are not guilty, anyhow, unless we wrote 'em when we were asleep. The probabilities are that the same fellow who wore Wordsworth's shirt andi pantaloons also wrote his poems. The theory, at least, is plausi ble. IT is said- that Queen Victoria '-wrote with her own hand the copy of the no tice of John Brown which appeared in the Coure Circular." That was a most singular thing, certainly. If she had written it with a hand belonging to some other person, It would have crea.. ated no surprise. *Mrs. .Lydia E. P'inkhiam's Vegetable Compound is a most valuable mel'nheAd /c.Ladles of all ages wlynawinay be affict ed with any form o( disease peculiar t a the sex. Hecr remedies are not only Pu up In hquid forms but i Pills and Loz enges in which forms they are securei' sent through the mails. Sn had beon praising her sweethear and capped the climax with, ''Ani then, how soft his hair is." "Yt-s, said her ill-natured brother, "ant what a soft place it growvs in." O.ONabL MAPLEsON says Nilison hai lost her "tessitura " She can advertist for It in this paper at 86 cents for thret insertions. .it would be of no use t< the finder. "itough on liats." Clears out rats, mice, roaches, files, ante, bed bugs, shkunks, chipmunks,.gophers. 15o. Diuggisti PRoFEssoa Swner offers $200 to the discoverer of each new comet durm1 the present year. We may be able t. avi ourseif of this point some mighi whyn excss for being out late rm WE haIve cabled tne French mietry not to postpone the sale of the crowi jewels on our account, as we shall not be able to go ablroad this year befort fall. UE.rang the door bell of a banker The servant tells him "Monsieur doci not receive to-day.'' "That makes noth ing to me. My racket is to know if he will give anything." "hluehu-P'afba." Tihe quIck, coIupletOl cure, all annoying KIdney Blatt<tor ad Urinary Diseades. $1. Druggists. A N exchange says it Is now fashiona ble to introduce some element of the antique into every dress. What t art old maids becoming the rage ? OsoAn WItaDE will return Zo the Uni t .d States when he appears as a dramatic actor, In no other country will the people pay fabulous prices to see re markably bad acting., ''YES," said the summer-resort ljAnd lord, "I know my table's bad. ILS what's the use of having it good ? The guests would kick juss as much, any how." im eat. around the * # Ot5 e i o r app lies, andwhen aaphso had hau e hias store, JioueS.opened his sample case and began: "I was down in Water Oanyou, South east Nevada, last fall, near. Mormos spring, where the water rushes through and under a mountain thirty-five miles across--. "Tunnelled, perhaps ?" said Jackson, "No, it's a natural water course, and cornea out boiling on 'tother side, then runs off in a big stream." "How does it perforate tlte mountain?" said Jackson. "There's a serious of beautiful falls, with moe att pe leading down, then a deep pool as oiear as crystal, with plen ty of mountain trolut sporting at the bottom. One day a band of Apache Indians pitched their wickiups near the stream, and an old buck and squaw, hearing the rushing waters below, went iown the natural stairay t-the a. The old buck seeing the trout in the bottom made his squaw dive for them." "And did she do it?'' asked Johnson. "You bet, for Indian bucks won't stand foolishness. But the squaw didn't ogme up. She went clear under that mountain and came out 'tother side, thirty-five miles," "Did it drown her?" said Jackson, who had become very much interested in the 1a00 of the squn w. "No; she came out dripping wet with a two-pound trout in her mouth and one in eaon hand.' CHs'P'esT FA- II, N MAQAzirE in the world, 120 large pages, 4 pages new music, L000 engravings each issue. 50 cents per year; single cnpies 15 cents. SrAwBstunmai Sv C M1u3E, 8th & Market Ste., Phila. PETER Ivolty, who is an experienced cattle raiser, says the ftJlowing remedy will cure the blackleg or diphtheria. We give it for the benefit of our farmer readers He says: "When the animal is first taken it m ill exhibit lameness in some of its legs, With a sharp knife open the lame member between the knee and the hoof, where will bQ found a lump or a sack flilled with a white substance; squeeze all this out, then fill the opening with salt and pepper and bind the limb up with a rag." This is all that is required, and Mr. Ivory vouch es for its good effects. The remedy is certainly cheap and simple, and is wor thy a trial. Pure cod liver oil, trom selected livers, on the seashore, by Caswell, hazard & Co., N. Y. Absolutely pure and sweet. Pa tients who have once taken it prefer it to all others. Physicians dieclare it superior to all other oils. Chapped hands, face, pimples and rough skin cured by using Juniper Soap, made by Oaswell, Hazard & Co.. New York. "WHAT shall be done with the worn out horses?' is a question which not in frequently arives on a farm where a number of horses are needed for work, and it is not the easiest question to dis pose of that may come up. The Pitts burg Stockman speaks our sentiments fully on this subject when it says the old reliable family horse, when he has outlived his last days of usefulness,may seem like a burden, but if he was faith ful in his youth it is only proper that you should be as faithful as he,and treat him with kindness. Mother Swan'. Worm i(yrup. InfallIble, tasteless, harmless, cathartic: for fe verishness, resitlessness, worms, constipation. 25e. When a pair of eloping lovers get married on board a train, as has been done, the affair might pro.perly be spoken of as a "car coupling." Oinstrine. CA w'TIE sho~lu i he taken b,efore or after GA STRHINE is ini ligii form. .ly all iuggits. VERMONT sap must run very fast to catch up with the new maple sugar thie grocers hayc haa on hand for two years. Useo St. Patrick's t4alve, andl leairn its4 great valne. One tial coninlces. AN "open letter" is'one that is expec ted to appear in newspapers before it reaches the party to whom it is address ed. Ladiies and children's boots and shoes cannot run over if Lyon's Patent Heel S3tiffeners are usedl. SENATOR TA noz said: "The members of the Uniteel States Senate are not such a mid.-r2 . n t lot 9f men." Ta i bor has evdnr Tth'tmtd Einory's Little Cathartic P'ill--best mad for Liver Uomplaitt and Bliliorianesi Tasteless, harmless, infallhble. 15c. TuE base ball club has already bee mistaken for a Madison Square Theata Company, and the boys are delirious. SYRU STT EITTERS Whlat the gre'it restoratave, liostetter's Stomac? flItters, WIll do, must be gathered froih what it hs done. It has effected radIcal cures in thousand, of cases of dlyspepsla, bIlIous disorders, Intermit. tent fever, nervous affections, general dlebility, uaniiatton, sick headache, mental despondency, andl the p'eciular coinplaInts anid dliblitO ies whIch the feeble arc so subject. For sale I,y all nraaglsta an,d lealora gnerally 4VMAN" g ALTH"W 0 W * 'ATI*s lSTIW'HOPC WOMAN ' "\ iAC. LYDIA E. PINKHAM'S 'VEGETABLE COMPOUND. A Sure Cure for all WEMAL1E WEAR. NESSES, Including Loucorrheea, Ire regular and PalunfUl Menstruation, Inflamnmation and Ulceration of the Womb, Flooding, PRO" LAPSUS UTERI, &e. tWPleasant to the tsete, eficae}ouI and immediate in its effoot. It is a great help in pregnaioy, and ro. Uevos pain during labor and at regular periods. PII8ICIANS US3 IT AND PRESCRIDE IT FREELY. trFoa ALL Wazntsssss of the generative organs of either soz, It is second to no remedy that has eves been before the public1 and for all diseases of the Kiosrs it is the Greatest Remedy ts the World. WIDNEY COMPLAINTSof Ether Bex Wind Great Itelidfin Its Use. LYDIA E. PINKIIAM'$ BLOOD PURIFIEIRI will eradicate overy vestige of Humors from the Blood, at the same thmo vi givo tone and strength to thosystem. Asmarveiloun roieultsas theCompowud t3'Both tho Compound and Blood PurilIor are pro. pared at 33 and 235 Western Avenue, Lynn, 'lass. Price of either, $1. Six bottles for $5. The Compotid Is sent by mail in the form of p1s, or of loschges, on receipt of price, $1 per box for either. Mrs. Pinkham freely answers all letters of inquiry. Enclose Scent stamp. Bond for pamphlet. Menion this FGpeP. IWLTDIA B. PINRuAWs I.zvxR PiLs cure Conetipa" tion. Biliousness and Torpidity of the Liver. 25 cents. WiSold by all Drugglsts.M-0 (.y Vital Questions I I Ask the most eminent physician Of any school, what is the btat thing in the world for quieting aaui allaying all irri tation of the nerves and curing all forms of nervous complaints, giving natural, childlike retreshinir slte) always? And they will tell you unhesitatingly "Some form of Hops 1" oIAPTITR I. Ask any or all of the most eminent ply. sicians: "What is the best and only remcdy that can be relied on to cure all diseases of the kidneys and urinary organs; stuch as Brights disease, diabetes, retention or inability to retain urine, and all tie diseases and all. ments peculiar to Women'' "And they will tell you explicitly and emphatically 'lBuchu ' Ask the seme physicians "What is the most reliable and surest cure for all liver diseases or dyspepsia, con stipatlon, indigestion, billollsness, In.tlarial lever,ague, & etc.," and they will tell you: Mandrake I or Diudelimun I" Hence, wihen these rensedies are coat. blned with others eqsiily valuable And compounded into IIt)p Bittters, slich a wonderful and mysterioits ctratiye pow er is tieveloperi which 18 5o varieid in Its operations thatt no disease or iii lcalis can possibly exist or resist, its power, ant yet it IS h:arinless for the muost frail wolnan, weakest invatlid or smallest child to use. CIiAPTERI II. "Patients "Alinost dead or nearly dylug" Fo'r years, and given up by plays'eians ot Bright's andother kidne y diseases, liver conmplalnts, aevere couglas called consutup tIon, have been cured. Women gone nearly crazy I From agony of neursila, nervousness, wakecful ness andi various 'siseases petcul.ar to womien. People drawn out of shape froin exuahlag pariys of Rhleumnatismu. Inlamaiitory andi chronio, or suffering fron scrofula!I Eryslpelas 1 Sait riioum, biood poisoninir, dyspepsia, Indiges tion, and in lact almost ail diseases frail Nature Is hotr to Have been1)curedl by llop Bitters, proof of which can be found in every nteighibortnood in the kliown wveld. YOUNG MENlor Ts9AHYeon Olrculars free. VALaNTI Ei3OJnove ia e. as a re,i AyourB own *e. Term and 5 otufl OPIUM MopseeHbt:relgal e Ua $150,000 6 THEs PR AOTIOAL FARMER, OF PIIILA fountS thereos geacra o sSr to stss r I arrtsti . 500 FAIIMM to be otfredm as Premiumns to our < a tnmim futte Stcel-P late 5EngravingKs-sum1,erb reptro< uc t e price of the pa ,er ;ant when wc g ye in adtlt o was toa e i ly IMorrs i15 an (s5 oneo its character and reptatiotn are of theS ihest. anti S, - aneti 0cras Prc niuita tlt Stee I aStt . tivngs Oo GOOD 10PROY1D conveyed b arrny ed and a clear ant iterfec occupy, anti wiil beprutveStome, from thtf start. vestetl from somie of these F arms last year. A u of thet cl cutttance. Tim teo: icies ae suc tha ossi .om a receipt andI thte current numbter of the F4ARM/s cription list, antl tIhe paper continuetd for one year. A< ori e tls error dtit we wll awar to each ofthenm seondS antI followinmgseries of to.on aubmscriu.rs will re Is Kiven Sway. These IFarms amnd Etigravings are Inter year. rhe n atne ant a Iies os titose iecntende yhe atSualo Pcre,niust,, will Ibe pubilshetd in the P RAC.F . TiCAI. IFAR MEt Ialawfg trmade tp our mtind teo secutre, at any cost te largest circutmIaont of anv Agrictultural P aper In the VorIl, we have resolved Fartonre ai pnrvings for tite beeft erivet itero Ite present ai ftuttre lar e circumlation. A vanml Iper contsaIuingcdescrp:K.n of the E sravings and ofte ice iarmms, with adtescription olihe improve. ment dimnenson ,st houses. ec., will be sent freetha d, s t one anet u on etlt ,ercgn She list of g.amsant dsc lhofi i Igive th geter-ump of the Cluh a subscrip? foIrt hir scrilters to oitan one of the Farms. For so subscribters an,So three extra susbscriptionsr stubscribers. fto scpnes ; for .ao subscribters antd 51,Ix extra subscrit stlsribers antidao we will iv lht extra subhscrlpfl the etter-up of th Cb desires. lich of w om wil one naewt sown, ant wew et te75,ono gut Rem,br o ma eta Farm worth 53,ooo of gi have ben tlpue wit hi mae o bs ty o Addrese PRACTICA Ii 5000 MEN, WOMEN AND CHIl t It 1 . jp1 .11 1'plWeeklyTsau e wddlrF brtMbhtOR,yeo1 nons, ofOl a nyaddress, t re1 ce m to u 12eot, in diag ppYP huin m t,co lbihd l. we 1., uun'or week for e months. Toqaeyl sending di K ofS 1 send a saiple of 811. voepl ed are YPoli, -pla ed Books, honp. durable, goo s, +trlryctly r(ass in . " }''h legtt}tlr'price, S1.(6 year. 1tablisll'ed 12 years. Special feat uros:origl nal artiples. How to asaulce o s plolicy In cue month than you evet' dd before' -HoW to Slake the Farsa Piy, 1low Warm.s r aire iudied. by bogus Conissiou irohants, horse n<d stook uotls, etc. D. D. T. MOORE,i Founder and for t fyet3y-lve years, edito'r of Moore's Rural New-Yerk- r is the Agricultural Kdlttorof the 'rTtiiUNanaf FAtM t, and,con ducts the best anl liveliest,. Agrictlural Depart. 1n1nt to be foind 'in) any weekly news aper in this country. Special writers on 8jal Frults, Market (aerdoning, Horticultural Matto g, Ai. oultural Machinery with a .list, of gleuiltural Inventions weekly, l'hiladol phIa Marke lteorts, Answer's to Correaspondeuts, oCe, &e., Half dozen bpliauid Stories every week, House. iold lDepartialet, whole pAgo every week. Original letters froln lady readers o all household topcs. Re tlar Corru~aondents Aunxt Addele,A i;lnt vaa' SR b11: + qnd a dozen others. Fai Fa . bosas low to Eutersalt Coupny, earo ol hildreb, Doctor's Advice, und n'uokinp ltecipes, North double subscriptilo price, Yotlth'e Depurinlent, Stories. Ptzzles, an(d H me Amuse inents, "Eose Sicuiner's I[timorous Letters Detective SketclteN, and Auswers I( Correspondents. No 8ensntliounl trash. Address I. K. CI IikR & CO. I',I,J, Plll.Ahl{>,iIA, PA CIi R cet'i l, byl t iilInl I'd it" ln"4 Ik h nlllion. L(E*" :). ridy hn,d+t. lamn. '2( /() Ner coent preIt Latly unid lent ggent. want. d1. (r s;hingt e u, m.uy ll, :t'. Agen,a' ,Vuloty co, THE UN Is the People's THE SUN Newspa per. There is no ny.tery at out Itt loves and ita(es. It In for the bone t 4ia. a,xulnst thi rog-ues every timo. It is for the honest I)e,n'arat i. auin+t thn dltshonu t It,. 11)ubl cau and for the ionust iteptlican a againet thu dishonest Democrat. $+ibscripton : D,LY (4 p:a)es), h ' in,1. Oft a uondth, or $0..0 a year; HUNIiAY Npanges), $l.20 per year; Whkni.Y (N pages), $1.00 (t i" year. 1. W. ENOh1AND. Publiaber, New York City. REE d i f ht"Health Helper" FREE IfIf : y.+ w, I'erloatlteelth. 11 11 box 1o.4 illa. . N.Y. WA NTs E E are FIRS t'.CLABS. CIEA. anil a it ruu,tily. "or enrticulure addreas tY N iL . A1N aC. Ituoln i1 nadard Block, Cievelnndt. Ohito. "THE BEST IS CHEAPEST." NGIN, THRE ER S"AWILLS, SorsePowere Clover Ilfaler. (Butted to all scotions.) Writo for F'RiER Ilue. Patmhiet sand Pricee to The Aultaun & Taylor Co., Mpnslald lde. $ 65 a nWbordr TEACHEARS Light Business In yout t'ounty. Address P. W. ZIEOLERik CO., 916 Arch St., Platelphia, YOUNG MEN O! yo'it- o omo 'i t; liuaranteed enlioynwent, uddess V'. II. ItE M1 Aua,O. Oon.umDtlen Can Be Cured AHL..'S LUNGS, AIA *.4 l Diaas.1Ii.Bre ~ uoth~anqa S~~e'ra e an? preto the sweats au SiiCnhyrup. Tiutttesgoxx.i dA onEE K e sbrast a yau mini ty ilthe e (t otey 9.outi ree AN ittirt, & (J.. tgaa i Ko toe tse,ancn, PeeaIeseyl hatihss IIUt o W mao ,, h Ind. oinrian( Ilto offEinTa WAke h NeTEl autofo lrhu iet n Futet e.co i a a tr as.c r n ee,.n a d t k-t r -.e Th lounerstia,' atierieiose,s Cute osefert Wayne-usnta -do ieriserj t. e . ubliNewr by J.Wier(sta hatiey saw the$2 iaadv.otisne.8mnp!,ow oraanir V EIN . W A (!I o isjstadFutat -k sen. e t oia l s o oksat an .e y b ea, Pces hcr nilW iof to o 1 tes maTste. iTl en art nwi. sTh,a '.dAs"d~ -rtorrsNsn twoLORnSy.tem ourit.I a ( .gs pbis CIIG .ocaednttetaesy 1,630th ACRESiniiO Tre n 3 w Ksw ranen 15 n 1 rNema can b f cerus uawl prodmuce~ aSO8(lc u erlik ~so rl nen, pnas a' ebo sw mane the :ev the.r Prebs 4,n0tiujtema enir s. he sam wayth IhFasI a meom daidn wi'thor Suscribner the prts ofer ithe r her s otrrin urOiends n es athe mo t i e Aert aseires aorth od rk ed .ttely t l1tr Ti c,.ilo be award sthae a a opportuntty ina nn s e t to i mrs whometnl.a crilsr wii rciv te Er ti s adert. isement sen I A t oti ,a reet ofkii ev I er cm .. I torth of tpraopert atnc Iscrer rirey andcbi racts ofn itl t o aluCul lhetrm AloEs, Neradpha aPa 4 0 0 Pan r l iLD RENonilitl-n,rin ae I Irlaniwrhfm eeI,SCtoits Te miswllt