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. . - - .... TRI-WEEKLY EDITION. - WINNSBORO. S. . APRIL 26, 1883E Listen, friend, and I will toll you Why I som1etles seei so glad, Tlien, without t reason changing, Soon become 80 grave and sad. Half my life I live a beggar, Itagged, he1les8, and alone; But the other alf a inonarch,, With my courtiers round my thtrone. Half my lIfe is full of sorrow, Half of joy, still fresh nul new: One of these lives is a fancy, But the other one is true. While I live and feast On gladness, Still I feel the thought reinalit, This inust soon end-nearer, nearer, Comes the life of grief and pain. While I live a wretceed beggar, One bright. hope iy lot cati cheer, Soon, soon, thOu shalt have thy kingdon, Brighter hours are dIrawiig near. So you see my life is two-fold Half a leasre,- half a grief; Thius all joy 1. Hoinewhat temporc(l, And all orrow fluds relief'. Which, you ask iue, is the real lfe, Which the (ream-the joy or woe ? Hush, friend, it is little matter, And indeel, I never know. SWIEET CHAUITY. Mr. and Mrs. Malcolm Blythe were seated at breakfast. The stealt was broiled to perfection, and the aroma from the steaming coffee urn sent forth an appetizing odor. But as the young wife watched her husband's enjoyment of the daintily cooked viands, her face wore a look of abstraction notjusually seen upon it. At last Mr. Blythe noticed .it; and also that she was not eating--but mere ly toying with the bit of toast upon her plate. "What's the matter, Letty?" he asked, with a look of concern. "Are you ill?" "No, Malcolm, I was only thinking." Malcolm gave a long low whistle to emuhasize lus surprise. '* "Thinking! my bright chatty little girl, stopping her merry nonsense long enough for such an unusual operation! what can it be about?" Letty drew herself up with an assump tion of injured dignity; but her eyes and smiling lips bore witness that she was not deeply offended. "You treat me so like a child, Mal colm, that I have almost grown to think that, though a married woman, 1 can still avoid all trying responsil1lities, and make life one grand holiday. "But, I am beginning to se thinxs in a new light. "I may have but the one talent-still I have no right to wavste it. I feel thor oughly ashamed of myself to be such an idler in this busy world." Malcolm lookoa4 into tho.,qarnat, AYna. with a mock seriousness of oxpression in his own brown orbs as he said "Well, Puss, I am sorjy if-I'm going to lose my pleasant littie companion, and have a loug-faced reformer take her place. Letty smiled. "Not so bad as that, I hope. Is it not possible to do something to make other people either better or happier, without being long-faced' or disagree able mysell?" By tiis time Mr. Blythe was ready to put on his overdbat, Letty, as usual, helped him to getinto it, thou put up her Fps for a kiss. 8he looked very winsome, with the seriousness of an awakening soul cloud ing her innocent eyes, and giving a somewhat plaintive droop to the lips, elear-eut i their outlines, yet red and pouting as a cleft cherry, Malcolm lissed her fondly; then * pinching her cheek, playfully said "I'll gis e you a mission for to-day. Put on your' pretty things, and go and o>uy some prLesenits for your little sisters, Then come home with such a bright face that I can warm my heart in its sunshine." Letty felt a pardonable glow of pride and pleasure in her handsome husband as she watched him stride off, turning now and then to nod another "good bye" to her, until the tram car came along whion wvas to take him down to his oflice. Ho had bought a neat little p)l.roton), hiuiself. S3he sighed as she turned away, though, lceling disappointed that Mad colm had treatedl the matter so lightly. But witn tan effort she threw oilf the transient cloud, andi went to her room to dress and cany out his suggestion. She was the eldest daughter of a large family, Her father had never been able to ~aflord his children the luxuries of life out of hiajimitedl salary. So it was a novelty to her to own a purse so plethorie with bank-notes that she could buy a present for every one of her sisters. As she had been married but a few mouths,.it was her first shiopping expe dition and she soonx forgot the serious thoughts in the excitement of selecting something to please each individual taste among the dlear ones at home. -Malcolm B3ly the was a wealthy, rising young lawyer. Hie had been captivated by Letty's pretty modest face, as heo listened to her . graduation composition, delivered at the closing exercises of the free school of which she had been an exemplaty pupil for several years, He obtained an intadcuction, and to the surprise of the gay world of which . he was considered au ornament, six months after their first meeting Letty was installed mistress of a perfectly ap'poinated mansion in one of the pleas antest streets in town, "Doar Malco,lm," she thought grate fully, us she stopped into her pliwton ano was whirled away, "It isn't every husband Wyho would give his wife leave to spend money for her.family." Rlur destination was an extensive es tabushinont where nearly every want could be supplied--from a lady's outfit to a child's simplest toy. As she walked through the different departments she found herself attracted by one face, amid the passing throng. it was so young, yet so sad; with a strained cager lnok lw the large eyes which gave -them an unnatural expres sion. Unconsciously Mrs.'BIly the followed the girl as she paused before the differ ent counters, then went on again with out buying anything. At last she pauied before a counter upon which lay a variety of warm stock - ings whose dainty proportions showed that they wore intended for tiny feet. She took up a pair and looked at them wistfully; at last, *ith a deep sigh, putting them carefully back in their original pl%ce. As she turned away large tear-drops welled up from their fountains, and stood for a moment ini her eyes, then rolled slowly down her cheeks. 'Poor little Nettie," she said, half aloud, "how. wish I co,uld buy them foryou." "Who is 'little Nettie?" asked a gentle voice, and looking up, the girl met a glance from Mrs. blythe's eyes which for the moment deprived her of her power to answer. It was so kind and sympathetic that her tearj came faster tnd faster. At last she found her voice, and man. aged to stammer out, notwithstanding tne lump in her throat, which seemed to rise and almost choke her "Nett:e is my little only sister. We two are all alone in the world, and oh, ma'am, I love her so dearly." "Did you tliftk those stockings you were looking at would fit her?" "Yes ma'am; and I've been trying to earn enough money by sowing to get them for her, but I couldn't." "She shall have some stockings, and some nice warm underclothing, and a dress too. You shall come with me and select them." It did not take long to make the in tended purchases. Then Mrs. Blythe led the wandering girl out to where her luxuriously.cush ioned phlton was in waiting, and in a few moments they where being whirled rapidly along the crowded streets. "Now put your hands into my muff aud get them nica and warm. while you tell me all about yourself .and Nettie. I will take you home, and see where you live and what I can do for you." Nanny's story was soon told. I will give it in her own words "We live on the top floor of Lumber five; Walton St. Poor mother broke her heart after father's death, anu only lived two months. I have earned what I could by doing coarse sewing; but work is (ut off and pay was so poor that I hadn't saved anything. "I've tried to pick up odd jobbs, but they are hard to find. I haven't begged yet, though I walked up and down a good wnile to-day, trying to get up courage to ask for some pennies just to get Nettie some bread and milk, but I Tears wierein Mrs. Blythe's eyes as she listened to the pitiful story. Then she said "She shall not lack again for what she needs. I will holy you until work gets brisk again." As they entered the cold, bare-looking room, it did not seem at first to be tenanted. But at last a curly head peeped out from under a blanket which covsred the meagre apology for a couch. Little Nettie had crept under it to keep herself warm. As she caught sight of her sister she gave a glad cry. Then seeing the strange lady she shrank back timidly. "Don't be afraid, Nottio," said the kind voice; "i am going to stay here while sister runs and buys som coal and wood, and something to get you a wvarm supper with." Whil'e Nanny was away sh a produced the warm, bright-colored stockings, and told Nettie to pntt them on. It takes but a trifle to make a child forget sorrow, and be gay with the gayest, andt Nottic's face absolutely shone with joy, anid her baby tongue was soon prattling away as though she had known Mrb Blythe all her life. When that lady wvent home her own heart wvas full of the re-flectea happiness which she had bestowed upon Nanny and Nottie. That evening after he'r husband had .lonned dressing-gown and slippers, she the .m "hatJry of her day's work, half -expecting he ;could make sport of her in is usual kind, bdba~itiicial fash ion. He listened in silence, appareh'%~ counting the purple rings which curled uipwards from his cigar. When she had finished he turned to her "Do you know what you are !oing, Letty ? You are encouraging pauperisim! It is evidently my duty to reprimand you seriously," Letty looked at him in a puzzled way ; hut a merry twinkle in his brown eyes betrayed him. "Oh, Malcolmi you are too bad! you are making fun of me." "Not at all Letty; I shall take your punishment into my own hands at once," And before the young wife knew of his intentions he drew her upon his knee and kissed her tenderly. "I see you've found your mission; LeLty; and you may do all the good :,ou wish to while I find the funds, Does that seem right pnd good in your eyes?" "Malcolm, you're an angel!" The answer was somewhat irrelevant, but it was satisfactory. Mm. Blythe soon obtained steady employment for Nanny. .besides being enabled to support herself and little Notti. comfortably, she was slowly and surely laying up a sum of money against a ' rainy day." Would that every happy, prosperous woman felt, it to be her mission to lit the burden from some suffering sister, Sparing something for "sweet charity's sake" out of her own abun dance, and thus laying up a store of that imperishab)le treasure which "neitl.or moth nor dust doth currupt.' -R2cent investigations warrant the conclusion that there are in Cochin China, dejposits of gold and silver, bedi of lignite and phosphate of limo, with veina of iron ore. A Itace for a Hiss. A butter pedler from kioney Lake re lates with great glee how a neighbor of hi was cured of too frequent tipping the gin bottle. This neighbor married a young handsome spirited lady, and for a ionti or two all went well in the house an 9bout the .farin; then the husband fol back lnto his-old tricks. The wife remon strated and for a time the husband re formed. Presently, however, she becam satisfied that thi "bottle tipping" wa again going on. When she spoke to he husband. about the matter he swore tha the "aroma" she detected was that ot i coliolinedicine he was taking, he havin developed a most intractable colic, for th relief of which he had brought home an paraded a bottle of medicine. The wife was confident that there wa kept somewhere about ti premises a con siderable store of a very different kind o medicine. She kept her own counsel an( at the same time a strict watch. In a daj or two she discovered under a manger it the barn the secret hoard. She said noth ing of the discovery to her husband. Soon after the huspand had business at neighbor's some two inles away. On him return he wa, somewhat surprised at Pee ing a note pinned upon his front door II hastily advanced and read as follows "Ben: You will Lind the key ot th< house where you keep your colic medicine I have taken Kitty and gone home to my mother. Father and brother Bob will comc to-morrow for the trunk in which I have packed my things. NE5.iE The husband rushed to the barn. At a glance he saw that Kitty, his wife's mare and the side-saddle were gone. Darting to the manger he hauled out his corpulen1 demijohn of gin, and suspended from it neck found the key of the nouso. becuring the key, he sent the denujohn whizzing and crashing against a post o: tho barn. Bounding forth, he ran to and mounted the horse he had left standing in front of his house. - Away he dashed. It was ten miles tc the house ot his lather-in-law, and he was determined to overtake his wife before she could reach it or kill a horse in the at tempt. Said the butter man: "Now, I seed Ben's wife come over the hill, half a mik south of my house, on her little mare Kit. ty, and begin to perform some queer abo. lutions. After she'd got over the brow o the hill she paced up an' down the roac or a time; then she rid up and looked over the ridge for a while. After lookin' a bit she turned about and rid up and dowa the road a few times, then went up to the brow o' the hill again. 8o she kept doin', an' once or twice she got off and led Kitty up to the top of the hill. "I was puzzled as to whether she was waitin' for somebody or had lost something while on her way to her father's place, some four miles heyond my house. I was just about to walk out .that.way when I 0' the hill and begin to play her whip. "In half a minute she was flyin' past mi place like a wild woman. I stoad at my front gate by the roadside, ready to holler out at her to know what was up, but, bless you, she never looked to'ards me. Her eyes seemed sot in her head, her face was pale and at every jump she let into Kitty with a whip. I swar, her ridin'-sku t fairly cracked as she bounded past. "JIst then I heerd a tremendjus clatter behind me. Turnin' about, I seed Ben a conin' over the pitch of the hill on his big black hoss, like a wild Comanche. lie was ridin' with loose reins, leanin' away for'ard, and diggin' his big spurs into hi horse like he'd rip his insides out. "He passed by, with hair and coat-taiI3 sailin' back in the wind, and never turning his head to right nor left. I thought I seed murder in his eye. I tell you, a mil. lion thoughts went through my brain in a secondl. All the stories i'd ever heard about jealous husbands and insane hus bands went through my head in a iump, and I do believe If i'd my gu m nme bane I'd have taken a wingshot at him En sus picion. 1 seed .Neli look back once and then lay the whip on Kitty hotter'n ever. Bien was goen' like the wind. I knowed Nel: was headed for her father's; and I seet plain as day that lien would get her 'forc she was safe landed. "At last, he was upon her. It then waa neck and neck for a time, with Ben reach ing out for ihitty's bridle. At lass he gol it, and the two horses gradually slowec up till, they fInally stopped. I mountet my gate-post all of a tremble, expecun' tc see somethmi' dreatdfuli happen. "They stopped in thme road talkin' migi onto half an hour ; then I seedl Ben lear 'aer and Nell lean over till thar t wo heada come togetr'. - " 'What thc mischief !' says 1, 'Kissin instead of kiihn'. Well, that sort o' fraca gits me l' After the head-buimpin' tIm pair turned about and caine slowly joggin along back. "As they passed mo 1 called out to Becr to know what in the living jingo it al meant. Ben began to stammer somtihinj 'bout half of which never got through hi big beard, when Nell sings out to ime 'Only a race for a kIss l'' and givin' Kitt; a cut that made her bound ten feet, sh called out to Ben : 'Come on I A race L the top of the hill for another I' and awa: they-both went. "That was five years ago, and I neve knowed the meanin' of that, wild hmarumi scaruim ride till 'bout three umoaths age when the story 'bout tihe 'colic medicine leaked out among the wimmena folks. 1e a good whIle after the ride, howsume-ver I remember of the neighbor men wondem In' what had comne over Ben that he haa shut down on his gin all of a sudden ani wouldn't so much as take a glass o' Orego eider. "To this day no doubt Ben thiniks Ii had a desperate chase after Nell and narrer escape of her gittin' into the homn den 'long with her big brother, her fathe and his mother-In-law ; and i've nove said a word to him 'bout how she foole long under the brow o' the hill." An Audventure in Onlabriq. I was traveliiig at one time in Unlabri -a country of bad people who, I believ love nobody, and hate the French with mortal hatred, and a Frenchman who Ic into their hiands was likely to fare badly My traveling companion was a-young ma of 20. '1 he roads in the mountains ar very precipitous; and it was with gree difficulty that-our horses advanced at all Mly comrade rode In front and, taking path whichm seemed to him aborter an more practicable. we soon found we hai lost our way. To return upon our step or to fiad a path that would lead ui out c the woods, seemed equally impossible We sought for one while the day lasted but the more we sought, the farther w plunged into the depths of the forest, an it was blaek. -i,ht, when, at last w arrived at a little house as black. W entered, not without suspigion, but we hai no choice. Within we found a family of charcoal burners at their supper, which they in vited us to share with almost their firm words. My companion did not wait fc the invitation to be repeated, and in moment, we were eating and drinking wit! thei,-he was, at least; as for myselt, was chiefly odupied in examining th place and the . facPa of out hmto. The had the appear1Cot, of charcoal-burnerl but the laouse t4gh.t'have been taken fc an arsenal. .On 'ery- side were gunt pi:tols, sabers, knives, outlasses, All thl displeased me, and 1 saw well that pleased the people as little. My comrade on the contrary, made himself one of tk family, he laughed, he chatted with them aud with a singular imprudence which ought to have forescen,-for 1 should no haye trusted to a head of 20 years,-b told whence we came, whither we wer going, and, worse than all, that me wer Frenchmen Imagine a little:-alone, lost among mortal enemies, far trom all numai help; and, that nothing might be lackinj that could destroy us, lie pretended to bi rich, and promised these people whatevei they wished for our expenses and for 4 guide the next day I At last he spoke o his valise, prayed themn to take the greates care of it and to place it at the head of th4 bed. le wished, he said, no other pillow One would have believed he carried th< diamonds of the crown-when what cause( him such anxiety in that valise was onl3 the letters of his lady love. The supper ended, the people all lof us. Our hosts slept in a room below; ai attic or loft raised six or eight feet abov the room in which we had eaten, and t< which we climbed by a ladder, was tho sleeping apartment that awaited us,-: sort of nest into which we introduced our selves by creeping under rafters ladei with provisions suffilient for an entir year. My companion climbed first, threv himself upon the bed, and was asleep in i moment. Determined to watch, 1 made i good fire and seated myself by it. Thu night wore away very quietly. was beginning- to be reassurred and < think my fears and suspicions wholl) groundless, wheq, just before 'daybreak as it seeied to nie, I heard the voices o: our host and his wife in loud talk, appar ent,y arguing., Placing iny- car to th chimney, which: communicated with th4 room below, I clearly distinguished thes4 words from the husba'nd : "Well, let us see finally, will it be nec cessary to kill 1kem both V" - .=anlid"Y.e, JslJ I heard bothuinore'-I stood breath less-my whole bdy cold as marble, t< have seen me, you, would scarcely hav4 known wliether I was dead or living Heavens I when I think of it even now, shudder. We two, almost without arms against 15 or 20 wh had so many, anc my comrade dead with sleep of fatigue To call him, to makb a sound, I dared not to escape without him, - 1 could not; be sides, though the window was not higl beneath it were two great bull dogs howl iug like wolves. Imagine, if you can, thi horror of my situation I At the end of a quarter of an hour which seemed loniz enough, I assure you I heard the sound'of steps upon the stair case, and looking through the crack of th door saw the husbant , a lamp in one haw in the other one ot his great knives. I1 ascended the stairs, opened the doorn passed the lamp to hii wife, who had fol lowed him, then entered with bare feet Shading the lamp with her fingers, hii wife, iromi without, said to him-, "aoftly go softly." lie reached the ladder, mount ed it with his knife between his teeth, an< coming to the head of the bed on whici the poor young man was extended unconi scious, helpless, offering his bared throat with one hand he took his knife; with th other, he seized..Ah cousin I I to] this to you because it is the truth.... . .. ...he seized. a great leg of han that was suspended Iromi a beam, cut large slice from it, and retired as lie ha come; the lamp was withdrawn, the doe closed and I left to my own reflections. As soon as it was daylight tihe who] family came with a great noise to wake us as we had desired. A very good break fast was served to us, I assure you ; tw< fowls inade a p)art of it, one of which said our hostess, we muist eat, and th *othtl wb,'Etn.t carsy away with us. 0 seeimg them 1l'yhed.ed at once th meaning of those terrible words '*'.'l '1 be necessary to kill them both," and you I b.liove, have suffBclent penetration divine without explanation what they sij nified, tOdi Sea~ Lighthnonu. The Egyptian (Government has conr rmenced the erection of a hghthiouse on or of the rocks in the J.ed S3ea known as ti Brothers. The Brothers are two smas Scoral islets in the Rled Bea, about one ml from each other, the depth of water .bc tween them varying from 100 to 21 fathoms. The northern islet is about quarter of a mile long and 100 yards wide 'and a beacon is situated on it in latituc r 26 deg. 18' 50 north,and longitude 84 dej 50, 44 cabn, and it is in close proximity t . this beacon that the new lighthouse is b Iinmg constructed. Tho foundations arc no I being laid for a circular stone towe which is to be thirty-five feet in heigh with a winding staircase to its sumim i Rooms for the lighthouse keeper are to t a built in the form of a sort of court rouri the tower. The stone li being quarric r and the lime bjurned on the island itsel: r and an abundant aupply of drinking wat< I is provided by a condenser which he been fitted up on the island. T1he wor will be[completod about the end of Apr] when the ight-a fixed white dioptr; light of 8j order, visible at a distance a fourteen miles-will be exhibited. Bi of course, due publieity will be given lat< Sas to the exac,t date. , -The fireS :extrardinary flood 2 Cioinnati on recor-d *.as in 1792, who 6 the water is supposed to have gor e above sixty feets There was not mue .property to destroy at that period, ax therefore little daithage could be repa I tel. Moscow and the HremtUn. In spite of the threats of the Nihi. ists, preparations for the coronation nf the Czar Alexander III. are progress. 3 ing at Mosoow, and news comes daily I of some new and more expensive elabo n ration of the machinery f,r the impe. e riul pageantry. The Kremlin, wherein I the principal ceremonies will be per formed, is one of the most remarkable - structures in the world. Its usual - designation in the West, "the palace of t the Kremlin," is entirely misleading, r Tacre is within its walls a palace, it as a true, and a m9st magnihicent one in l1 point ol both extent and decoration, I but that is only a small portion of the e whale, which is a combination of for Y t,res, . 4tonad, ecclesiastical capital, It otlidral- iead4uatr aid impotlal resi ir dence all in one. Tho ]Kremlin is really I the eitadel of Moscow, and undoubtedly a occupies the entire area of the ancient city. It is surrounded by an erthen rampart varying from 30 to 50 feet in D height, at whose base oii one sido j )W the waters of tha river Moskwa. With t in t,he walls, overlooked by the tower t of Ivan the Great, whose gilded cross is 325 feet from the ground, are cathe drals, churches, palaces, monasteries and mouuments grouped together with out any attempt at symmetry of ar rangemont and representative of almost every known variety of architectural design and period. There are the Uathedral of. the Assumption, in which f overy Cz.ir since Ivan the Terrible has been crowned, and in which it is in tended Alexander's coronation shall take place next May; the Cathedral of the Archangel, where the bones of all the Romanoff's up to the time of Peter the Oreat he buried; the Cathedral of the Annunciation, formerly the place of t. baptism and marriage 01 the imperial family; the Cuurch of the Rodeomer, 3 one of the oldest buildings in Moscow, it not in Europo; the Miracle MAonas. tery, the Ascousion Convent and tWe i baoristy of the Holy Hynod, where the - robes and sacred vessels of the patri k archs are preserved. These are the ) religious oditices. Nc xt, comes the pal r ace, built on the site of the one d Lstroyed by Rostopohin's torches when L Napoleon's army was drivn out to treeze in the dread winter of 1812-13. This structure, a large portion of it erected by the Emperor Nichols-ho whose heart broke when his armies met defeat in the Crimea-contains many waguitoeut halls dedicated to the various orders of Russian knight hood. In this, too, is the treasury, where, as in a vast museum, are con tained arms, armor, relics, regalia and other.treasures illustrative of the his tory of the ancestors of the Czar. The L Arsenal, an imposing structure of im spot of the Russias walks, he surveys with pride a coilection of captured tro phies of war, among them 635 cannon taken from the enemies of the Ozar. The great bazaar of Moscow is an enor. mous structure, covering three squares, throe stories high and intersected by numerous narrow stroots and passage ted there are stocks of all sorts of goods, amounting in average value to between $55,000,000 and $60,000,000, and this represents only a comparatively small portion of the value of the general merchandise within the city, there being other bazaars and market places of almost equal extent crammed with valuabie stocks of goods. The destrue tion of such a city would be an incal culable disaster to iussian wealth and con:morce. Whether the Nihilists pos ,.s5a power suilicient to carry out their i hreats renmins to be seen. It is now almost certain that the Emperor has abandoned, if he ever entertamned, the I idea of making any concssions to their demands. Tripeo. I Occasionally you see a man order trip)e at a hotel, but he always looks i hard, as though he hated himself and x overybody else, Hie, tries to look as Sthough lie eiJjoyedl it, but hG does not. r T1ripc is indigestible, and looksi like an india-rubbia apron for a child to sit on. s When it is pickled it looks lhke dirty ,clothes put to soak, and when it is cooking it looks as thaough the cook ) was boiling a dish cloth. On the table ,it looks like glue, and tastes like a e piece of oil silk umbrella cover. A a stomach that is not lined with corru 3gated iron wvould be turnedi wrong sidle t, out by the smell of tripe. A mani eat. , in'igs Wrp, hotel table looks likes an .0 Arctio explorer dinint' on'/ WMrduJs or o hewing pieces of frozen raw dog, You cannot look at a man eating trlp< but he will bhush and look as though he wanted to apologize andl convinc< you he is taking is to tone up his sys. Stom. A woman never cats tripe SThere is not money enough in the work 0to hire a womanu to take a corner of a 11sheet of tripe in her teeth and try t< pull off a piece. Those who eat tripa 0are men who have had their stomacha a play moan tricks on them, and they ca tripe to got even with their stomachs and4 then they go and take a Turkisi bath to sweat it out of the system Tripe is a superstition handed dowx from a former generation of butchers who sold all the meat and kept thi r, tripe for themselves and the dogs; bu ,dogs of the present day will not eal ,. tripe. You throw a piece of tripe (dowi e in front of a dog, and see if lie doci d not put his tail between his legs and g< d oi1' and hate you. Tripe may have r, value' but at is not as food, .to may ba ir good to fill into a burglar-proof safe is with the cement atid chilled steel, or ii k inight answer to us'e as a breast plat< 1, in time of war, or it would be good t ic use for leumipers between cars, or I ,f would make a good face for the weigh It of a pile driver, but when you come t< ar. smuggle is Into the stomach you d< wrong. Tripe! Biahi A pico0 Turkish towel coked mn axle greas it would be pie compared with tripe. uc -A pair of bald eo los have mada hJ their home near StonyI oint, Mich., oa *d the mrargin of .iake ~iie, for mnan r- -years, and It is believed that they ar nearly if not nnite anvny yaars old. Cures by Electricity. "Why don't you take some slook in the new electrio light company." said an aged man to a middle aged man, as they atood up to a bar taking a drink. "Not none," said the middis aged man, as he stirred the beverage with a s, spoon, and swallowed it-not the spoon but the beverage. "There's too. much 21 electricity, I tell you; and I don't know where the electricity craze is going to IV end. We send messages by elect:ioity, talk by it, our streets and houses are to .' be ligbted by it, and now they have got to using it to cure diseases withi Why, O doWo**now, they advertise to cure vor.Cflng wi oloctrioitym'Ynakow U1 my wife? Well, she thinks she has every disonso under the sun, and she is a walk ing galvanic battery. I dare not toucho her unless I touch a gas pipe or some iron substance first, or a spark will fly w from my hands and startlo me. You haven't sen her lately, eh? Well she o looks twice as big as she ever did be. h lere, but she is poor from oirrying around ieotrio belts and pads. .First ,( she saw an advortisment in a Chicago paper of an electric belt, and she is wouldn't be satisfied till I got her one, U and to keep peace in the family I took her measure down to Chicago and got a t< belt, and she put it on and a aid she felt rt better. Then she wanted a pair of electric insoh B for her shoes, and I got 1, them. Then she wanted an electric w supporter, and I thought it would be a good way to support her, and I got one for her. Then she wanted an electric stomach and liver brace, and I got that.. I thought she was pretty well protected al against the majority of the diseases the human family is subjected to, but a he F saw some more pictures of electric ap- 0 pliancos in the paper,and'l had to buy . her some back pads, ana breast collars, f and electric stockings, and she will want the rest of the harness, including a sur cingle and headstali. Why, John. f honestly. I will give you leave to shoot at my wife with a shot gun loaded with U fine shut, for five cents a shot, and will %S give you a dollar for ovely shot that touches her person. She i. enveloped in in a perfect coat of electric mail, and she isn't very well yet. 0, I forgot the knee pads and hair crimpers. I expect g she will want a telephone line next, and cc a tower with an electric light of four y Tr- r - family does any good, but it is a great t saving on . ills and things. Before she 01 struck this electric fake it was a cold w day when the drug man's hand-cart did Y4 not stop at my house, but now all she ti buys at a drug store is porous plasters and perfume. Wily, she used to have a b< regular time car.4 hung up in her room gi for taking medicine, and it required the Ia brain of a chief justice to prevent get ni ting the different kinds of medicine in bi at the wrovg times. I have seen her fa take seven difforent kinds of little white pills in a half day, and never miss a pill w or got the wrong kind, and overy pill looked just alike, and there was no taste or smell to them. It was a great strain i or her mink, and may be this electricity as is doing her good, in resting liar intel-. ti loet. All you have to do is to buckle on the magnetic corset, or surcingle, " and it goes right to wvork at the drop of_ the hat, sand the same one is good for a 8 child in arms or a votran a hundred years old. There is no doubt in my ca miuad that science has simpliflod things e: wonderfully, and if my wife is ntot cured P it 'wiil not be her fault. But no elec tric light stock for me, If I shoul b carry home a block of elctric light stock my wile would buckle it on to.hera somewhere, and swear shte experienced great roloif. But I will have to go, asA I haave heard of an electric bunion, per- ni suaid and corn annihilator a man is sell- 'I1 tng dowvn on tihe Southt side, and my ' wife wants onte. Good-day." WIildernesas or Cainaray 3Mrdsi,. The recent aninulaip6o'r-ol- M . himn Board of Trade closes the chaipter ti on the purchase andl sale of animal pro. I ducts with ant allusion to a branch of v trade no longer uncommon withmi the a sphere of its action. 'The firm of C. iReiche, in Alfeld, deale.ts in animals, e origina ly raising and selling canary a birds only, but of late years a rival of c the graas Haimburg house of Hagonbek c appended a detailed statement of sales of wild beast, ruminants, pachyderms. j antd birds, which its travelers in Africa a and Australia had purchased, as well asa of canary birds bought and exported to ] counttries beyond the sens. The increase f, in thte importation of foreign singing and te ornamentail)birds during 1882, over 60 per cent, of whichi were resold toforeign -g countries, was a marked one. The firm abought in Ge.rmiany 42,000 male and 20' t 600 female canaries, besides 48010 wild birds, a total of .66,900 birds, of which a48,200 were sent to the United States, ~ 1500 to South America, 1200 to South Africa, 13 000 to E'ngland; the remain aing 3000) died. O0 foreign anials there were imported by the house 90 wild ' beast ruminants and pachyderms, 200 1 long-oged and other large birds, be- a a sdes 0350) ornamental and singing birds from America, Afrioa and Australia, of ~ which 50 per cent, remained in Ger amany, the rest going to France, Belgium, ~ Holiand, England and the United States, -8 The food consumed by tne birds alone K aamounted to the respec:abie quantity of I 27 tons, viz,, 19 tons of rape seed and 8 1 tons of hemp, millet and other needs, ( besides ants eggs; 1200 pounds of bin. i oult and 9600 hen eug- c NEWS IN BRIEF, ---M. Grevy is seventy-fo ir yea.ira old. --The population or Mexico is esti. lated P.t 10,000,000. -The king of P.rtugal receives. the lAry of $440,000 a year. -1n New Orleans cucumbers are 3l1bu at 7 cents apiece. -A company at St. Louis turns out )0 dozen shovels a day. -A closely contestedelection in Eug .ind costs about $10,000. -Braoklyn has added several chemi l engines to its department. -Montana Claims to have 1,000,000 kttle grazing on her plains. -About one-firth of the area of li Risiq iad to be marsh lands. -Per lyacinthe and his wife Intend visit America during the summer. -Ala Cary Sturgis, the singer, is riously ill at her home in Durham Me. -At the beginning of 1882 107,112 iles ot railway were open in Europe. -Gavernor Boynton, of Georgia irries his head six feet three inches Lgh. -Ex-Governor Talbot, of Massachu. atts. has gone to see the wonders of exs, -The E trl of Dudley, whose income 85,000,000 is said to be losing his Ind. -The Malagassy Embassy visited the nmb of Washington, at Mount Vernon, contly. -The Canadian port of Sarnia shipped 800,000 eggs to New York in one eek. --The thirty-eight savings banks in bode Island have 112,472 depositors id $18,320,671 deposits. -Professor E. S. Dana, of Yale Col go, has resumed his college duties :Ier a severe illness. -Alligators are becoming burou in lorida and their extinction is consider I only a question of time. -The firemen of Le Roy have organ, od a benevolent association for disabled remon with a capital of 84,300, -Charles N. Marsh has been chogen lork of the town of Hingham, Mass., r twenty-eight consecutive years. -oinage at the various mints in the S. for February, $4.548,360, of which ,400,000 was standard dollars. -Owing to the unseasonable Autumn France between 3,000.000 and 4,000, 10 of aves of wheat remain still to be AMn. -Sir William Armstrong, the English inmaker, has given $750.000 to New atle, Eug., during the last twenty ars. to cotton crop for the pnOk ar 6,835, )0 bales. -In 1860 not a hundredweight of heat was exported from India; last !ar 9,879,225 ewt., were consigned to .o United Kingdom. -Baltimore, Md., has abolished her >ard of fire commissioners, and has von the control of the department to fire marshal. -The, fireman's fund of Rochester )w amounts to $47,000. It is for the )ofit of disahied firemen and their milhes. -During thb month of January there cre throughout the country twenty. iree fire4 involving a loss of at least 100,000 in each instance. -The Chinese are going home, More i.n 5,000 depairtures andI only twent,y ~rivals are recorded since the restrie. on law went into force. -The deepest sea s'oundings yet taken the Paicific shows a depth of 27,935 st, or about flve andc one third miles, edeepest Atlantic soundings are 2T, - -The armament of Germany has been >mpleted. It was begun in 1873. The (pi3nses have amounted to $132,000,000, uid out of the French war indemnity, -The amount of deposits and cash tilances, in the joint-stoek banks of reland in Juno, 1982, was ?30,667,000, ii increase of more than two millions ver the previous year. --There are 1286 school buildings in rkuinnas, valued at $251,217, 129 of the uimber weore erected during last year. he school teachers number 2418, of 'hem 471 are colored. -It is announced that the late Prince harles of P?russia left a tortuine of more ain six million dOllars, of which three illions Is bequeathed to his son. --Chauncoy Warner, .of Cambridge, ie town o,f ftlban's with a $30,000 ouso for use as a free hospital, He Ill provide a $25,000 endowment fund, Iho. --Servia is dependent on foreign ountries for her salt supply, and to timulate explorations the Government 'fiers a prize of $80,000 to the discoverer f a workable salt mine In the kingdom. -A large canoe In excellent condition as been found near Bex, 4,000 feet boyo the soa level and neariy 3,000 feet bove the valley of the Rone. No isustrino relies have ever before been und in Switzerland at such an eleva ton. -The diaily earnings In the cotton ictorios of the United States are nearly, ouble what they necre in 1840. The otal number of spinning spindles Is 0,653,485; of looms, 225,750. T[he etual consumption of oot:on last year ras 1,760,000, bales. -1t Is estimated that there are 200, 00 vagabonds and beggars In the Ger ian :hmapiro, including thieves, piok 'ockets, and other BWidlers, and the uthoritios estimate the annual loss to onest people by their operations at the normous sum of $25,000,000.. -4Until thie lattei' part of the six teonth entu"y knitted stobkings were alto ether unknown In England. 6.'h fa ious pair presented to Qaeon llU.44l y urs. Montgp Ein ,15860 wae , tted silk; and they plese the oa oquette iso much thatulie decared lh such vehemence slid wduld nove wear loth ones a i .4r