University of South Carolina Libraries
Roe Water. During one of his intermittent visits to the Comstock Mr. Mackey accomp. aded a party of Eastern tourists to the lower levels of the California mine, one of which carefully selected collection of ( Massachusetts blue blood being a young lady from Boston who was refined to the top notch of culture. On arriving at the lower levels the gasping, perspiring, ' wilted crew paused and Mr. Mackoy t called the young girl's attention to a speaking tube which connected with the level above. "Is thia hollow metal cylinder a con- ' dutt of sound ?" asked the well educated C Bostonionno. .n "Yes'm said Mackey; "try it." L The young lady applied hor mouth to a its opening and piped out a tremulous 2 "lHillo-a." "Aye, ayo," shouted a hoarty miner a - hundred foot above. c "What shall I ask him ?" said the girl c to Mr. Mackay. a "'Ask him how he is getting along." 1) "How are you gotting along ir?" whistled the niidon. It "'Aw-w.-protty woll," rumbled tho ri reply. "And now wbat shall I say ?" contin und the girl. "Ask him if it's hot." o "Ile it hot up there?" 0 'Hlotter'n h-I," was the )laini all- 0 swer. The damsel gitAped, but continued: "What elNO shall I say ?" ti 'Oh, ask him how his family aro ?" re- I plied Mr. Mackay, who began to tiro of 11 the "piping-off" interview. -'How are all your family ?" asked the a girl. I "What, iro you givin' u ?" thundered a the minor who t.hought. mo1io one wits "johling" hill. LI Collapie and call for ico water. 1,41w Qjun rte'r (InH~' era. ic If there is a nerehaunt in Now Orlaiins who Can Hell goods at. any prieo lio 01hoose4n to fix oi thilm, Ruihe illlnsteill a Who keops a i clothilg an1d sh1oe storo on 9 Poydrau. strot., is Cho main. Soillt) tiio ago, it elstolior onitored him I establimi ont aid imiired: "Invye you ain tl i4t1ui -tver gaiters ?" "'(ortauinly,lly frent, I have nIny sdylo ti you Wish, und soiedinig dot. vas neat, b Now here vas a pair uf gaiters vat, is g madl uif l'riissian ledder, <de pnt. ithil dat vin known, und I dinksi:4 doy vill suit, yo,. 8upposoyou dry deml onl." ii "All right," replied the customer. 14 "V il'.m fronit, anid I'll pult( a leedle h1 bowder in. Now di den. Al ! vat 8 a potte os 4hoteou vait. ti an dat ? It vits shust is if somel 1body tkiles your litan "It's too tight alro'is tht iltlep, " sahl L the etustoner, rubbinig the spolt vith his ibigers. I "it vill dr Il myV dearl sir"," replie'd Hiokl'enstein pirla1s1iv1el.V, "dat ledder a Vas1 madetl expre-ssingly for strviettling."1 1 "fit t ho Shoo pinchesk' my. tools,t 1also." "'Dot is noinig; it vili go vay dot tir'st time), it gets vet. You don'it vanit. to) bny j a panii lItf shoes more14 as5 driee siz.es too 41 hig, uhtid gol aroundl tie Iisties lInit your ~ feet lookin g 1like a gtuloI4 of ra1ilroad1t scrafpers. It vhould be' a slunie, youl know."( "Wh'lat dot you~l ask for the shoe)4s ?"' "Only Hsoox dollars." dat dem4.311,hos5 vaIN lid of Prnas14ion1 ledi dller, and~t leddler derp esa H(careo4. My imielo var lifs dt'ro write lmet laat ve't'k make1(1 harn'iosi inlit it any1) longer. All die ha~rness ore is lt, no atdo of wool.'' "I1 toil you)1 what I'll d1o,'' said the4 "'I'll g.ivo you1 fourl tdollars. "'My g-r-r'-aious1 ! A Prussl5ian1 ledder nIore as live dotlirs and~t tift y 'onta 11aid I dlon't paly for' thle gnas. My g-r-r-nl'eius, vats ut' maitter mlit d' pe'op~le ?"' "We',ll, l'mn not. goinlg to give St tir o those shlos's,'' said ho ellstoultr, mlovin~g it." - "Vell, my rontak them along' for~ $4, undltlni aroimd algainl some1 oder T1hme culstometr palid (or Ite shoes4' anld taking is parll'?1 left the sto re, ap1lit hotrse le'ddler shIots I shulst sold1 1d4 gttlemuan ?'" "sty g-r-r-atnious, Illlea, dink1 hot.w 81ma1414 de poti lls. If p)iiiness, you1 know, iilOrma-l1, 414n'1t get po4t ter it vill p'reak ali 4de s1toret up. lliterto n1o Vy vtl1ngin1g comp)llaint t C(n'is tunnel, and14 tramet 11 has ben uninl e'specillyl from En2Iglishme4'n. It is now 1 prop1 osed,hiowe'ver, to p)rovide in al ppmri tile Bit ish Met ropolitanU Ralilwayl, whlert the potliont141 of cairbriet ac'id is only1 v 0.01015. Witlh this view 4%, a1 lalrge' ctir i iuigni ve'ntihlator has b een sot up at thet lHardlonniecho endi,to he driv'n by water, which is abun1 ldan t there. 'The enltranc'e of the tunne~ltl is tclosed b'y a door)1, which1 the traninls open1 on pasing unlder' theo archi, and t'lose4 a~ga~lIinftter passinig. 1n wmilte'r, and ailst, dulring somne fresh nlighlts II in summer, thl'le acine' can1 be4 stopped anld any1 nec'tessaryv repa~firs mal~de. InI ad4 dlitionl to the. ve'ntilaitori there is in ust' tit) compnjressin~g andl aspirat ing apparn Sim- thlat wa~s em~ployedl ill maiking thet tiun n. Not withlstnniding the1se1 means11 and14 comlotivesR, it is fe'aredl thalt the prtesent ventdation)1 wold prlIIo inlsunticioni tin c'ase of Ovena mll 111inicrease. o~f thet traf tie. AGRIOULTURAL. ltXQUiS1TaS FR POTATOS.-The best 'otato fertilizer on dry soil is water I This i to say that the potato Is more dependent pon moisture than the most of our crops. )n my own farmn I am unable to calculate pon a sure crop of merchantablo potatoes. may al-ply sullolent manure or fertilizer, nd yet if the season be unpropitious, the otatoes ao small despite the manuring. 'his has led me to give a little study t( his crop, and I find :-I. That any cae rhich checks the growth of the plant after he tubes are somewhat formed tends t hook the growth of the formed tubes and o stimulate the formation of new tubers. 'hus a sovere hooing in mid season will heck the growth of the tubiers and form ew tuber to such an extent that on rich mid the crop will be very numerous, but iso small aind uninerchantable. A drouth this time will effeob the plant likewise. That manure put on the potato land, or artilizer, does not necessarily produoo rgo potatoes i it only influences aggregate rowth ; the production of the best uer lantable crop seems dependent upon a antinuous growth from the thne the tubers re formed until they attain ripeness. The otato requires a steady, uniform season, ithout too much or too little water. It re. mreb fertility in the laud, but the physic. I condition of the soil and atmospheric ,latlons mist bo such that growth he aterially unchecked. As the pinching in a shrub renders it more branchy amid afy, and causes it to contain more numer L buds tha the larger unpinched shrub equal ape and vigor, so the interference growth of the potato plant, by means r the hoe or drouth,[effects the production r the underground buds or tubes. 3. ertilizers, especially that containing pot 51, seem to inprove the (ility of the iber, over that produced from manure. laster is often benefleial, applied in tho Ill, in modifying the moisture relations r the soil. The best potato lands of Alaine re freshly burned soils. Under time best mditions the burned over soil is rich in ihes and charred wood, and this layer in most efficient mulch to the plant, so that o can believe that the quality of the po Lto is caused by the excess of potash and .her ish elements, and the size is inllu ced by the uniform condition of the soil nider this efliclent mulch, duting the sea mi of growtl. BALT -FR Cows -Cows should receive i1 the salt they want. A very good plan to make an artificial salt-lick by placing round or coarse stilt in troughs accessible the cows when they want to get it; or y pilcing larger pieces of ordinary rock kt where the cows may lick at themu when ley feel inclinid. Most, people silt their aws about once a week, and then give im a pretty good dose. ''hIls is. of course, otter than not to give any, but its incon ruity and unftlness will better he appreoi Led perhmaps by the dairyman himself if he 'ill t(y taking lia own salt, in the same ay; say, on Sunday or Saturday morn. g lie should cat, a teaspoonful of salt, and It that do for the week. A cow isn't a uman being ; but physiology and common eise are pretty much the same, whether icy tire applied to man or other animals, I tle matter of alimentatiou and the or iniary functions of' igestion and so on. r cows are fed in tile stable every day key should eticli have a good teaspoonful r salt every morning in the trough, or a iece of rock salt may lie in tho trough to e licked whenvi she wants it. If Cows lire ot stabled every day a box or two of stilt iould be placed in the field or at the lkiam place, so 1ts to he aceissible tiny tile wv'henai the cows feel lhke having a lick. Ilt'RtNu the last. season the K~anstas taie grmiuh tiral C'ollette kept an extact. accoutt f the cost of ralaing corn, witer wheat, its and tiillet, and gives the following asi lue result: C orn, 22 ) acres produced 47 uishels per- acre, ait a cost of 14- cents aper ushel ; what, 17 acres prodnced l 5 hush Is per aicre, costing about b4 cents per iushel. According to t.his statelinent it (msts miore to cultivatte anl tacre of wheat hian an acre of corn ; 417 hushslels of corn t 14 oents per hbushel tiggregeites $ul 58, vhich represetits the cost of etiltivating an cre of cor'n, while 17 hushels of whieit, at cost of e4 cenits per biushel, timounts to ~9. 18, the totail coat of cultivating an ticre f wheat. Oats, 16 ne res, yielding 20 uishels per nero, costs 23 cenits yeir bushiol, r a cost of $1.10 per necre. It w~ouhii alp ear frot thisa thait it costs just tabot ouible to cult ivaite aii ticre of wheaut t hat SPOes for ai acre of oats. A Nxw~ pest hats tappeared in the graiin elis, described as a smnall moth about ther ize of thme fonfmmion clothes moth. Tlhe irvai burrowsi inito antd ents out the cntre f the infested gratim. It eappears ti prefer indian cornt, and~ is iiow pretty well dlist~rib ted over thne counttry, lbut is more abund nit in the middle and soot hern States thanim u the northern. Tlhmis pest is one likely to estroy annually millions of dollars worth f corn andI other grailn, utnless mteasures re adopted to check its increase. It attacks orni ini the ear, or whetat shelled aiid pumt nt storehouses; and as the moth readily ies from place to place, its dlissemtinattomn rapid atnd cetaint. lirs P'a-romws. -Thile longer we live ih' more contvitnced we are of the value of arny sown ry~e for winter timd Spring pat re. At suich tiimes stock will thrive aund atten on it with no other food, whule ows givitng milk will double the <iua'nitity nd( thme hutter he yellow anid fragraiit. rj,cambsb, colta aitul calvi es skip ciaid play nd grow like weeds whent turned upon it. veOry One' who preteids to fiam should 11w a paitch of rye in 1titonthi of August1 for no 01ther purpose t hanm for such past. raig ini sprinmg. Tlhere is nothiung equal t. ;indeed, we thinuk it aibnost indspensable o (lie growh ai cnd thriftiness of stock. 'lTu best h eef is yoiiig hieef, reachiin) its greatest point of superiori y cit from wo) to three years. The same is true o1 hieep) andl swinmel A wethier, for ti mest muttton, should be in market al wo y'ears. As a general rule, a 250.poun( cig is much better ini quality and more >rofitablo than a hog that weighs 50O couiids. l'Te poit of apprecliation o1 imeckly imaturitig animals is beiing reached hough somewhat giauatlly), and1( i6 re uaiiis to improve the various breeds, espe ital regard beuig taken to carefully selece hose tanimals to breed fronm that cotme t< naturity at an early age, A Naw~ Evr'c -lhut we have a new thin hat is uundoutbedly badt, and thait Is (li< tew grass killer, the brown worm with llack head that his beetn doing so much mtschtief upon pastuares and tmeaudows ii torthiern New York. It is ntot the arm' Ivorm, ht (lie larva' of a moth hilthert< indescribed in anty i'ook en etyniology md one that liasbeeit previously unknown iuddently it bursts upon thme grass fields ii ~he northern part of New York State anm mtis thie grass off front thousands of acres t will now disappear, having becotme a ture as a catapillar and entered the grount .0 pupate. Its naume is Ke)eh~ld~'. 'holans, and its violent irruption wouh 'oem to indicate (hat it canto by its specifb ntamn hnestly. HUMOROUS. Tiuin are somo men in this community so devoid of humor that they couldn't see a joke If It was fired into thom by a ten inch gun. The other day old John Per kins, whose ollico to on Battery street, wont to the telephone-which connects with his residence on Van Ness avenuo-and chang. Ing his voice, facetiously said : "Ilowdy, Mrs. Perkins; aro you alone?" "Is that you Bob?" was the faint re. sponse, after a pause. ''Yes," replied the merchant.; "when can I see you, darling ?" Well, the old pelican may come home to lunch presently," was the reiponso, "so perhaps you had better drop in casually this evening, as it is club night," But instod of Bob nobody dropped in but a man to take out the tolephohe, although Mrs. P. cried herself sick, and swore she know it was a joke all the the time. Perkins intends to orgamz a secret soelety for the assassination of Edison and Bell at an early day. (St. 0.o111h X-"'torn Watchiniaa Mmio Hiath Ulirn,N, etc. One of the great manufacturing interests of Boston, is the Emerson Piano Company, whose pianos are used with high apprecia tion and satisfaction throughout the world. In a recent conversation with Mr. Jos. Graner, one of the proprietors, that gen tleman remarked' I have used that splen. did rmedy, St. Jacob's Ol, in my family and found it to be so very beneficial that I will never he without It. It has eured tle of a severe cas of rhunmatism, after other remedies had failed. .A1.L niov-"Wiy does a duck )uit lia head under the water ?" iLdent, with great intellct-"For div era reasons." Boy-"Wly does lie go on land ?" Studnt-"For suniry reas mis." Boy, perplexed- 'Why, did you say, a duck pits its head under water I" S tudent, smiling-"To laiptblato Its jttle bill." Boy-'And why does it go oi land ?" Stuwttt-'To make a run on the bank.'' A OEN'LEMAN who has grown tired of a suit of clothes said to his valet : "John, I have a great mind to give you this suit of clothes. Suppose you try it on, and see I f it will 1it." John replied in language not propitious to the further exhibition of gen crous impulses: " 1 am sure it will fit me, air ; for I tried it on time other night and wore it to the circus." A DwrnoT boy paid his first visit to on e of tihe union schools, tihe other (aly, as it scholar, and, as lie came home at night, his mother inquired: "Well, Henry. how do you like going to school t" "Bulilly," lie replied, in an excited voice. " I saw four boys licked, one girl got her car pull ed, and a big soholar burned his elbow on time stove I I don't wanit to m1uss a (ily. til wanikee Evniiiig wisvolnsin .) A siring :omnueor. According to anl Illinois exchange, our days of Rlenmiaii Isttm are well nigh umuber ed. St. Jacob's Oil enters a rheumatic territory, and conqters overy subject. That's right. We believe in it. Mn. Timelytopic and Air. Verqbusy met on the street and, after a few minuttes con versation on business matters, Mr. 'Time.3 tolic asked Mr. Verybusy it lie had seen time Comet I et 1111d was surprisled when the latter replied that lie did not, as he had been out of town a cou ple of weeks. NovITIn: It is hard work to thInk of nothing and yet, be engaged ini thmoiught, but ai ('otier ini the (lays of Quieeni Elizabeth thus explatined how it could lhe done, when asked by her Mlajesty: "'What does a manit thinik of when lie thinks of nothing i" ''le thinks of a woman's proml.aes," 'wams the reply. Th'lis fellow niodoubht. had been proilset soinethiiig andt had failed to see it. Axn yet he was not happy :A little No'rthl Side bmoy of four years wvas mucii ast onished when lie awoke one morning last wveek to find a little sister in his muot her's amns. " "Wh~Uere did it come from 1"'lie asked with his eye wvide open. ''From Ondi," was thle reply. "Wh,'io brought it 1" wvas the next very natural inquiry. "'An Angel.'' lie thought for a umoment and then e'xelanned: "Oh I manmna, why idn't you catch time angel, too 1'' OUn modecrn numnbskts: "1 lLmve you 'Watts on thle mimi '" solemnly akes ia clerical looking old gent of thme roguish dall~~ beindl( the cotunter. ''No, sir," she answveredl. "'but I have nine on one haind and two on the oilher. Are you a w~art do~ctor, sir 1'' 0. O. goes out lamneet ing the direadofuil ignorance of the youth of the present day. No Goitd l'renichiing. No man can do a good job of work preach a goodi sermont, try a law stit welhk tdoctor a paitienit, or write a goodt article when he feals miserable and diull, with sluggish brain and unsteady nerves, and none should make the a'.temupt in suchi a cond~itionl wh'len it can bie easily and cheap-. ly remiovedi by a little Hlop Hitters. rie anlot her cohatnin. Ta'x thermiomneter wuas attil above ninety, when lit came in and taking her hand ten derly said :'" I love you evenm more dearly than I told you I did last night. Y ou were silent,. then1; have 3 ot anything to say to me now ?'' ''Oh, yes," she rosponded, with girlish impulsiveniess, ''let's go and sit by ithe refrigerator ' "Wto~ri you like to look at some mourn ing goods I" asked the polite dry) goods chirk as lhtetiung dowm seine slazy bilack fabrics before a seriouis lady cust'omier. ''No, not this morng; some oilier morn lug ; goodtt n ing," she respondedi ; and the clerk wvas so overcome that lie was Ishortly afterwartds carried out to his bier. "Y~or must admit,'' said a red nosetd vaugabond to a tenmpenmuee lecturer, "thmat alcohol Is good foir one tinmg at least, aiid that is to clean silver." "'Yes, retortetd thme lecturer, and it is w~eli known that alhobol has cleaned all the silver out of your pockets,"~ Wus a city man moves Into the subturbs and gets a patch of ground big enough to raise a turnip on his first ambition is to Join a fariners' club. Lorillard mid Keene are the inen t> send to Englaiid andl France as ministers, 'Thley would iiaike themselves respected by wvor thily repre'sontinig a stabule government. CnArcanKu couldn't spell. Neither could Bacon. Andl Shakespeare wvas the worst of the lot, lie couldni't, even spell his name. And for that matter, no more can any one else. A Youxe man in this city, a short time ago, puroposed to a lady several years his senior anti for am answer she said : " I don't want to take a boy to raise 1" 'The "On, isn't-this-delightful I" Says An gelina to Evellna. "11 think surf-bathing is so splendiul," mid then she scooped up a half pint of water in her shapely hands and doused it in her companion's face. "You -inean, hateful thing. If you ever do that again-" and the war would have been continued but for the advent of two noble knights, who escorted the ladies far out where the breakers were rollieg beauti fully. l3e Wise and Tiappy. If you will stop all your extravgant and wrong notions in doctoring yourself and families with expensive doctors or humbug cure-alls, that do harm always, and use only nature's simple remedies for all your ailments-you will be wise, well and happy, and save great expense. The great est remedy for this, the great, wise and good will tell you, Is flop Bitters-rely o it. LAI)Y Chelsea Ware (with vase)-"Yes, it is quite too distinctly tenier. Yesterday it knooked against a loathly modern plate -a'ntl chipped I" Chorus of mthetes Quite too preciously terrible I" Lady C. W. -" I treated it with diamond cement and heart throbbingly watched by its side the livelong night. To-day-to-day-it is as well as can be expectud I" Turn for (Irish) tourists: Landlord of Ballyblatherein Hotel (writing to the Lon dou papers)-" Is it disturbance, thin I Niver belave 'em, sorr I The countbry here's as quiet as a pig in a puddle, tile river's fairly alive wid fish and there's lie gant shooting of every hind-barrin' la nd lords." (Aside to discoisolate waiter) "There, Barney, that'll fItch the Saxon apalpeens and give ye something better to do than boycotting the loiis wid yer nap kins." Vegetine Gives a Good, Olear Com plexion. PHILA., PA, July 8, 1877. 11. RI. STEVTENS, Bloston: Dear Sir-The great benefit I have received from the use of Vegetine Induces mue to give my testi nony in its favor. For several years ny face has been covered with plin ,le which caused me much annoyance, and, knowl it to be a blood disease I cotisulted a nuiber or doctors and also tried litany preparations without obtaining any benefit taitl I commenced taking vegetine, ant before I had used the first bottle I saw I had the right me dicine. I have used three bottles and lind my healt i mtich im1 )roved, my iumor entirel curea. Yours respectlully MISS N. K Fit, 1130 Carpenter St. 'Vege tiine. Reports ftom Ottawa. OTTAWA, CANADA, Dec 31, 1878. 3i. II. R. STEVENS, Beston, lass: Sir-I have used your Vegetino in ny family for several years, and consider it an invaluable medi line. I most cheerfully recommend its use to those deslring a safe ami efectial reiedy for dis eases of the stonach and Impurities of the blood. I mny add that I have advocateil Ita use to several of nly friendtl and acquaintances with the mnost gratif Ing and satisfactory results. ery itespectfully Yours, R1118. W. U. PERLIY. No one can doubt the truthfulness of the above certifieate, coinig from so resionsilte antid Influen tIal parties. Mr. Perley Is the senior member of the ftrim of P'eriey & Plattee, one of the largest and mout, extensive lumber firins in America. Vegetine. Druggist's Report. PLm.A., July 6,1877. H. It. STNvRNs, Bostoti, Tfass: We have sohl your vegeline for some years past, atind our customers recommnetd it as bet49 the hest and safest "itlood Puritier" in tse. M have sobi inalmy articles or te saine description, bit-. Vegetime gives the ntost itimversatl satisfac' tiomi. W~e always recouminendl it wIt h coilldencce, Drmugglsts, ltid Mairket bitreet. Vegotine. P repared by Hi iiR. IST IC .D S BOSTON, Mass. Vegstine is Sould by Alt Druggiats. MRS. LYDIA E. PINKHAr1, DF LYNN, MASS., LYDIA Es PINKHAM'S VEGETABLE COMPOUND. Is a Positive Cutro for all these Pt'agntnmptnlnta and Weaknesses 5oeumnifi toonrS l,est femalei populiont. It will eure-, en'irey the worst form of Femniot Com-. plinttt, ait ovarian, tr.uble., Intilnmmiationt and Uicer-a, tion, t'ntting andu Oiperme,,',nte, amts theO 'ofnequiet f'i'' Wenkness,, and is particuiarly adapted to *he Change' of l.ife, It witl diissfo and s':pe' tumrors from the uterus in an early stage' of de-vel pmnIit. The tendeney to can cerrouss huitnorathsere. is icecked veryv.peedilyh~y Its use, it remosv,'se-iitIIne. flatulency, 4.estroysail ernvling for stim~ulants, nnd, rel;eves, weakness of the siornach, it eure..lthenting, liendIath,, Nervous Prost ratton, Genteral De'sldiy, Meephies..s~, ilepression and Indi. gestin. Thnt feeling o. isearing dtown, eanslig pain, weIght and bunekachle, Is atway. leruinently cuiredl by its us. It willi nt us t i imt~e. nnd ,uter nli clto umust nes net to harmonuy wuith the lauws that govern, the f,'ano system. For the cure of liitney onmlatai of either sex thIs CompotundtlS iiunsuirlpaed. LYDtIA E. P'IN iinA iM's VT.(ETAliLE COil. P'oUNiI is p'rep~aredi at 133 and 23', western Avenue, i.ynn, Mass. irmes $t. six it es for $5. sent by mail In the formo of ills, also In the form of lozenges, on recelipt of prics', *m ier box for eitl er, 3i rs. Plnkham freely answer-. a!' 'etter's of inqtlry. fienud for pampa let. Address as above. Mentesn tis itiper. No fanmtly h~outld ihe without l.YD)JA E. PINxIAMY LEJVit Pli.i12. They cure consstlpatlon, biliousnmq and torpIdity of I, hlimv'r. BC.centts per box. *j- Mold by all ttrmuglmte. *)s if yisirot mn if yout are a of bulner,weak- mtan of iet oed b thestrain of tetoilr overm . stIniulat ts and n a e tr brni n'orvn H op Bit 1ers. waste, use H op 9.* If youm are young ant suitering from any in dilsretion or dlissipa ton t If ot are mar por hfenth, em lautsa to on a bed of al~e nesta. rely omn H o p Bitters. whoever yc'i:ar Thousands die an whenever y ou feel nualely f r o mt some ing or. eestimula tn, harm beefprseted witfhouito.rfeating, by a timoely use of a keo H op HopBltters Bitters. pui,,n , sene Is an absolute of the sfontsei andt irreafsta. ,swels, isleobeei o uimvr or nterivane You will be tobacoo, or curd u se atodbti. ef u a im isolSd fr ist n a noP rE i fe. It has M'Fo 9. eaved hua- Peetni.T d reds. 'c ereate, Ost, EYN the little bits of tots get hold of tAe, * vernacular quite handily. Little Johnny for I wasn't very sleepy last evening, and when T his mother said: "Come, little boy, it's time to go to bed now,' hp looked up out oun of the corner of his eye *,nd remarked in is his baby fashion : "Not to-night. Some ship other night." le was immediately crowned T as a hero by I elder brothers, play NV A siox boy: "Oh, doctor, I'm so glad frst you've come I don't know what's the whik matter with Charley, at all. He complains E of the febrilo rise in his peritoneum, and on t he says hi hypochondrion Is all twisted out on of shape. Oh, he's an awful sick boy, an doctor." "I should say. Must have been reading the Presidential bulletins." The B doetor leaves a scidlitz powder and departs. but I othel Kidney-Wort moves the bowels regularly, bod3 oloanses the blood, and radically ourt.s kidney Tj disease, gravel, piles bilious headaehe, and inus pains which are caused by disordered liver and he m kidneys. Thousands have been oureU-wh should you not try it P Your druggist wIll of h you that at is one of the most suocessful medi clues over known. It is sold in both Dry and Liquid form, an I its action is postive and sure in oither.-Dallas Tex. Herald. WOMAN complains that her husband fre quently-lifts his handigainst her not in the way of kindness. The magistrate: "Well, my good woman, what pretext did he take to beat you so?" rho witness: "The firat pretext that he could lay his hands on, sir; the poker or the pot-lifter, or his boot, but principally his cane, your Honor." IT is reported that Anna Dickinson en tered a store the other day and asked for a pair of stockings, whereupon the clerk, not hearing plainly, inquired, "HIse, Anna ?" and the ininistorial-looking man at the other counter said "Amen." BALDUEADED men are infornied that there is but one avenue of escape from their afiliction, and that is CARnoLINE, a deodorized extract of petroleum, the great hair renewer, which being recently im proved, is more ellicicacious than ever and is absolutely faultless. "I'm sorry to have to say it of a woman at her time of life, Mr. Brudderly, but as we're talking confidentially now I'll confess that my wife uses powder." "Lucky man," innocently returied Mr. B., "If Mrs. Brudderly ever felt that way towards me she'd use dynamite." 'WoMEN's rights: bir William Hamilton said : "On carth there's nothing great but man." Thanks, Sir William; ho, thanks awfully, Now, what have you to say, Mrs. Liveioreo Suffering Women. There is but very small pr portion of the women of t'is nation that do not suffor from No I some of the die' ases from wiiob Kidney-Wort soni Is specific. When the bowels have become bt ti costive, headache torments, kidneys out of *u'01 fix. or piles distress, take a package and Its wonderful tonio and renovating ower will 61 ours you and give now life.-- Yatchman. a REIMNiucaboutbachelors: "DeanStaxley rellainedi a bachelor until lie was 46. Miss Ant hoi.y. has done the same thing until she is-but let us not pursue this painful sub ject. YRoETINE was looked upon as an expert. ment for soie time by soine of our best physicians, but those most incredulous in regard to its merit are now its mot ardent friends and supporters. nt J. F. DAvis, of Portsmouth, Ohio, sold IT in one year fourteen thlousandi boxes of "Sellers' Laiver Pills." Tihey cure malaria. A vor~o lady bearing the aristocratic si cognomen of Jardine receitly tlesertedi her lover, because in an impassioned sonnet lie made(1 her namo rhyme with '"sardine." Noriio like "Lmudsey's Illood ,%archi br'' for all skin diseases, tetter, salt rheumn, itch, etc. It never tails. fo JoHNsoN-"Smith, what kind of a beast wouild you prefer to lbe if you had to be one ?" Smnith-'"Well, jus~t a' tils imne of year I think I'd rather be a little bare."" A rxxw style of calicos is known as "Limburger." Ladies vote it "just the chees','' but v e dlon't know how many scents it costs a yardi. C Tint most stubborn eases of female weak ness yield when the patient takes Lydia E. e Pinkhanm's Vegetablo Compound, Fonen of hlabit. ''Don't cut, "murmuredi a sleepy customer in the barber's chair. fresh from an all-night poker party; ''don't out, let 'emi run.'' Grai.s can't raise mustaches, but by banging their hair they manage to show ihe lovliest kind of chin whiskers upon LYDIA E. P'INKiHAM'S Vegetabl)e Comn pound1( has (lone thlousandls of women more good than the mledicinle of many doctors. A FiRENoHMA.Ni saw a negro smoking a new meerschaum pipe. 'Thunder,' he ex elaimned, 'his pipe is coloring him.' TilRm arc sonmc men so talkative that nlotiling lbut the toothiachie-can make one of themi hold his jaw. Tm driest boots have the biggest "creak." Terz is cheap .Is It t Just hire a law W'er once._ _ _I A 'Two foot rue-Don't wear tight shoe'. lied-Hugs, Itoaches, flats, cats, mie, anlts, flies. insecte, cleared P'olsol sut by '"Rough on flata." 15c., druggists. cailtte , ,tbut fto ilitter MESniS. AMORGAN a iiEADfLY, Mlltulmi ifg abl0 11 ildit~ig, Tionltii anid Chestnut .atree s, pie on wheli hand a superb stock oi extra fine quaiy Dia. perio< mfond~s, Whlohci they offer at as low price as stoma1 stones of the first quality, perfect alixoe in c0lor Intterm aid shape, can be solo for, For WVhat is more Terrible, more palinfuli, more exasporating, discouriag ing nd pr,,sten thn PIESespecially to afiotedd motl who ave tred lotions, omt1 monte, pills, elootiuarios and all manner of nostrums. anld doctors' stuff, internally and externally, without relief ? What wonder Is it that half a millhon redeomed sufferers should shlout hlosannlas ovor the discovery of "Anlakosis." an Iifalhblo cenro for Piles ? This medical miracle, so s~mplo as to excite wonder that wise doctor, have not thought of it be fore, so prompt and certain inl its actionl as to soonro for itself the title of i'mfalifble, so sol entitlo and rational in Its combination of 11u tlco, mnetrumeint, and medicine, as to render the ultimate cure of 95 per cent. of average casos of pilessluro, Is not an accidental dis covery, but the sohuieon of a problem by the study and expor''nco of Dr. Bileboo, an sc comnplished and dimguishled phtyatlan of 40 years' standig. 1s lhas stood the test of 20 years' exporid nice over half a million of suf ferers have muid it wata successm, and doctor., of all schools nlow pareribo it in their prao tice, anid it, is :'.eisunned to be the n'earost to ani infalhli e ca n~ for piles ye'. diecove~red. "Anakcss," Dr. 8. Bilsboo'r E~xternal Pile Rteniedy, Is sold b~s druggists orywh~ere. Price *i.00 poer box. Samples malod FaiRK to all sufferove on appicationa to P. Neustaedter & Co., Box 3940, No Yrk 'sT wouldzn'i rhop X ggoompu lawyer's wife? az weight of the world-about twelve ils to the pound. the flag nailed to the inset when the Is making tack a I TE favorite mountains of base ball ers-'Appy-nines. HEN the Pilgrims of New England landed they fell on their knees, after h they fell on the aborigines. rsBY man Is fond of striking the nail he head, but when it happens to be his r nail his enthusiasm becomes wild Incoherent. Mx geologists have contradilted Moses; is all gc ologlsts have eontradicted each r, Moses stands about as well as any in barber who would not color the ache of an Inebriate because he feared ,ould die a druukard, had a fair streak inor in him. GREAT GERMAN REMEDY qanmm. RHEUDIATISI, NEURALGIA, U * 10 SCIATICA, LUMBAGO, BACKACHE, SORENESS or TE C RST, SORETHROAT, a &u QU1INSY, BWELLING8I AMD IFROSTED FEET EARS, A31D fO.A.Ba:D?, TOOTH, EAR HEADACHE, &XV ALL OTHER PAINS frepatation on arit equals cT.JACOB@ OIL U a A smuet:Z and dME.AP Eternal Remedy. A trial ental 5 1~a~l~ rlig outlay of SOCais, andevr fferiag with pain c tave capand sitiva proof Me. DIR-riONd I I LEEN LANGUAGiE. LD SIT ALL DRUGGISTS AND DEAtER IN MEDIDINE. A- VOGELER & CO. Salttrnore. Md.s 1. 8. DO S VONDERFUL CURESE veauee It nets on the LIVElt, IiOWELS anti KIDINEiYt lit the ame time. Beoause it cleaAse the system of the poison s humors that develops in Kidney and Uri iry Diseases, Biliousness, Jaundioo, Consti. Uon, Piles, or In Rbeumatism. Nouralgia, mrvous Disordere and Female Complaints SEE WHAT PzErPL GAY , s, ldnuy-Wo t cured hnter a Ciar a lane land boonm tryling for four years. lireon Amiail of WasIngton 0sie says vd~ras ai thmatfio was after wards cured by i!.1.Good wa, a editor in chardon, o yondi boitof, buit I iuoy-WorS outred bian. tseven yoamsu mnlri f~ron idney touble ii ot a r empllcuiionis was ended by hie use of nhn 13 lwrence oJakkn, Tenst lro e tr takin "liarrei of other medicines," dnyWt't nhhl rk well. PERMANENTLY CURES IDNEY DISEASES, LIVER COMPLAINTS, onstipatlon and Piles. cae ti patcae of whit mnakes at. qtas otrated frthose that eannf realy pro r It acts ioith equanl Ejeeie En elIhry form. lET IT A T T HE Ditt'OoISTI. PRICE, *1.** w E L.LS. iiCilA IDSON & Co.. P'rop's, !lll send the dry post-paid.) nt:Ri.lxoeo, yI. gSTOETTCH Malaria Is an Unseen Vaporous 1, spreading diihease and death in mnan' Io. s~fr thi cet quinhio Is no gontine anidot s Is not only it thorough remedy, blut a rol. reventive. To tis fact there Its an over ting array oft testimortmy, extendling over a I of thmirty years, Aim dimsoruiers of I to iv ler, c cit and bowels are also conquered by the Sale by all Druggist. andt Dealors generally. Dr. ENTArrUR rADaA CH P"Ir short time both SICK and NERtVOUYSJ *eHEA A natt eilse box ofl these valuabte PI) stap. ~o sle by alldrugg "m' Card Colletorgi 1st. Buy seven bars Dob bins' Eleotrio Soap of your Grocer. 2d. Ask Iii'm to give you a bill of it. 3d. Mail-us his bill and your full address. 4th. We will mail YOU FREE seven beautiful cards, in six colqrs and gold, represent ing Shakespeare's "Seven Ages of Man." I. L. CRAGIN & CO., U6 South Fourth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. e 0 YOU CAN BUY THE BL'ATCHLEY PUMP LUined or ih p lain,r to Listing. Eahoote0 fied with my name a antUioFr is warranted in material and con* atruction. For sale by the beat houses In the trAe. If you do not know where to get this Pumlp.wrl to to me as below, and I will seud na o ae t nearest you, who will supply you at my loetprice. CHAS. 0. BLATCLEY, Vanufsoturer, 8 Market St., Philad lzibl. fi RUPERTUS' Celebrateac Biagle Bresch Loadiat shoauns Double Dane! Breh Loaders at d20 np. 'II, e sped Breeh-Loading Gns, Rifle a S napovtd zigU h an Au mat Efl ~ux af 1portlng ISp!. s .daatos ntn ad b Sportis.n d nns em Coltes Ne n dineve oI l '1u1 nu sat 30up. UBB&LO.,~W fl2ltnket ~ nud aoreo r ice-Lft. phI Was Pa Payne Automatic rngines TIEA "ural e $ Eondeliat, eUaw. efr atb a or be nra e ar atao J" u A NeeB ok f 8o oire. I~nAiithOlad New rios for alel Tis10n rav ingo teland VETE e. TitHE neveyhr Fio tyeCNRSE edna, and Awonu a.in monysli. Agesn. ane.. eaate ywearsd. sees.,,b sa na n t uees avwi hc t Is el . 0ice $iO 4 New b for perlfll &ooo le DIrL L E 0 E o*RoN. -a Vof HIuES*~, Eato~n,i Po fr to Di ntO Tn. nd ( enOi ots H (tho xes fble rd cng a e 5, olER PrpITSoe, C. Bst i20t esMAN Dtinere, 'Isdps. PLLOS