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- -, o77,;I qfT-11.1-WEKLY~ EDITION. -WINNSBORO, S. C., JUNE 17, 1880. VL V-O 3 UNBPOKRN. I 1j*y not keep thee, dear. I long havo known An, our mnt come for farewell look and sigh j An .4our wherein love bicssoms that have A blown Are od our path, like summer flowers must die. And .I have oommuned with my v9keful heart, And hought of a'l that I w,;uld say to thee, Ere hand! and lip from hand and lip should -palt, And oceans roll between -my love and me. But as we stand upon the moor to-day, The gorse and purple hea'her at our feet, I have no spirit left in me to say The wordo I meant to be so strong an I swoot; No eloquence to help me at my need No words of fire to thrill my last 'God-speed !" Yet standing thrs beneath September's sky, With solitude around us, God above, We feel, with precious moments fleeting by, That silent farewell better suitoth love. No honeyi d phrase can ease the cruel smart Felt with the strike fate dealeth us to day, I read each longing or they to ndor heart, Thou knowet all I would but cannot say. I do not bind theo by a parting vow, Thou speskest not of faith. u-ness to me; It is enough to be together now, Ere yet between us rolls the mL. hty sea. 8 lent, alone. among the moorlan I flowerd, Passeth the last of all our happy hours! Major Boots. Once upon a time a certain gentleman, who lived spWrididly 'nd did not pay his debts, owedi his shoemaker a large bill, and the shoemaker having been told to call again many times, and having written notes without end asking for a settlement, re solved to disgrace his customer by expos Ing hin to his friends the very next time he gave one of -those large dinner parties which so excited the creditor's Ire. Accordingly, having seen the wagons of the caterer stop before the door,and watched the waiters enter one by cuo, Mr. Shoe maker, attired himself In his Sunday suit,' and with his little bill elegantly written out, awaited the appearance of the car riages and when at least ilfty had arrived, set clown their burdens and departed,stalkid up the doorsteps like a vengoful ghost, and ringing thu bell furiously, found it opened for himu with startling celerity, and stood face to face with a tall, black waiteF, white glovf4 and stately. "Where's Mr. Cheaten' 1" whispered the shoemaker. "Gentlemen's dressing. room, second floor back," responded the waiter. Some one else had arrived, and was treading on his heels. A vision of solen dor, in the most wonderful, soft, white wraps floated past him. "Ladies, front room, second floor, gen tlemon, back," repeated the waiter. Mr Shoemaker was hustled forward,hat in hand, and saw his delinquent debtor in nll the ciegonce of dress-coat button hole flower, and white cravat, bowing to, shak ing hands with and smiling upon aristo cratic personages innumerable. The sight fanned anew the flame of the tradesman's just wrath. le marched for ward, planted huinself directly before the elegant Mr. Cheateni, and stared him in the face. But Cheatem did not wilt. lie knew his guest well enough and he understood his purpose; but what lie did say, was: "Beg pardon; for the moment I've for gotten your name." "HMve you ? Then perhaps you'll re member me when I tell you that I made your boots." "Now, if you'll trouble yourself to repeat these last four words rapidly, you will find that you don't say, as you believe yen do : 'Imadie yjour boots,'but,'I mnajuirboots.' The lucky Cheatem detected this fact on the instant. "Major B3oot.Al" he cried, dlemonstra tively shaking hainds. "Dear, dear ; how could 1 forget you for amomentI Delighted to see you--dehlghted. Mrs. Chifins, let inc introd,ice you to my old friend, Mlajor Boots." "So glad to know you," responded the old lady thus introduced. ' I'm sure I've heard Cousin Chieatem speak of you a thousand times. Bit down, do, and tell me who all these people aire. i'm quite a stranger I've isolated myself in Europe so long. 8it down, Major Boots; hore is a chair." The newly-chrIstened shoemaker hesita ted a moment, but it was not possible for him to cry out : "I'm not Major Boots; I'm Clamp, the shoemaker, come for my bill." lie found he had not the courage. lie crammed hIs hat under the velvet chair to which be was motioned, and subsided into angry silence wvh*le the old lady wont on : "Oh Major, I always feel so prlyileged when I have the opportunIty to talk to a military man. 'I adore courage. And were you ever wounded? JDo tell me all about it. "Thie bootmaker, fiading It necessary to rep)ly, said ''that lie never had becen wvoundled." And the 01(d lady went on : "Never / How charmningi Bore acharmed life, andj all that sort of thing. Do tell mne all aboft~ it." Tme shoemaker replied "that there was nothing to tell." On which that most gushing of old ladies cried: "Now, Miajor, I won't bedieve that. It's like the modesty of you celebrated military men. I know you stormed redoubts and -led forlorn hopes, and wore the only one left of your regiment, andl all that. I'm sure I read all about it at the time. Oh, here is Colonel Hobbs, a celebrated English officer, did( something awfully brave In in diae. Colonel let me made you acquaminted with Major Ik>ots, one of our b)ravest mill tary men, lie's been telling me all about the wonderful tnings he (d1( in the army. I moan he wouldn't tell mc about them just like all you great men-won't trouble hilmself to fight his battles over for an old woman." "Aw-.--awfu.lly charmed, I'm sure," ro-. sponded the gallant tuolonel. "Awvfully; 4w. Miust introduce you to my brothesr, Captain Hobbs in tihe sanmc wegtment1.ith mnyself." The shoemaker had arisen and a?~ look ing down gn his business suit. "I didn't intend to-that i didn't ex peet-to be at such a swell a r as this,"he stammered1 "or I-I sho have wordl my "Oh, my dear feHl ,we always expect you Amadtioan oRiceru to be wOngh and weady. We'd be disappointed if yor were nOt. The ladies, you know, adore wough and weady men. It's the particulai charm of Amewicans." Away he led the bootmaker, who reall) began to feel that he must have been, al some period of his life, a mititary man. And after being 1ptroduced to Captal Hobbs as Major do Boots, who was "do lighted," foid himself tete-a-tete with 1 very lovely young French lady, who ad. dressed himi as "General do Buta," and whom, at the request of his hostos-, whon he had never seen before, and who had nc idea who he was, he took down to supper, Somehow this stranger In his mixedsuit, and with his sulky air, had een set dowu as a most eccentric and distinguished mill. tary man by everybody. lie was regarde( with attention, listened to with reverenc( when he condesceided to say a few words. The French lady Introduced hu volumin. ously as General do Buta; and thus waE Ie addressed thereafter. The waiters of. fered hini champagne frequently, and tht bootmaker gradually grew exhilerated. Never had he been present at such elegant festivities. Never had he partaken of sutcli viands-been so overwhelmed with festivi. ties. Never had so lovely a creature leaned on his arm. Never had he tasted suci waie. At first it exhilerated him, then 11 mounted to his head, and suddenly it ap peared to him that his host was a gloriouf fellow, and thatdte was under Infinite. obli. gations to him. Doubling his fist, he brought it dowc upon the table with a crash that made th( glasses ring again. "Better man than Cheaten don't live ! cried he. '1- agree with you," replied his neighbor, politely. "Alh I I adore such enthusiastic friend ship, such lof like Damon and Pythias ii ze Olay," ejaculated the French lady. "o v original! Now delightfully eccen. tric I A perfect military niun," whispered others. Meanwhile the bootimaker, staggering to his feet, nade his way, as best he might., toward his host. "Cheatem, " he cried, look here I Icame' -here lie reeled and caught at a table-"] canie to give you this-before every (hic) everybody." And ho held out his folded bill, which Mr. Uheatem instantly took. "Now I-1 wouldn't (hic) do it-for for-" Mr. Chentem beckoned two waiters. "My dear old friend," he said, "you're not quite well. Let these men put you in a carriage, and go home. I'll call on you to-morrow. So glad to have seen you. As for this-pooh ! pooh I The waiters led the bootinaker from the ron, after their host had whispered a di rection to he.glven the driver. And Mr. Cleatcn thus addressed his friends: "You must not think ill of my old friend for this little lapse of his. After the trials of military life it Is only to be exl)ected that his habits should not be those of quiet civilians, and 'tis his only weakness.' "One forgives everything in a soldier," remarked a lady. "A very ordinary failing for a military man," resl)onded a gentleman. "Andto think th% honest creature should have remembered so slight an Indebted aess as this, and been so anxious about it," sighed Mr. Oheatem, as he put the shoe maker's receipted bIl1 into his pocket. How the Fooler was Fooled. A party on the West Hill did not make much by fooling his wife. When he went liome late, waiting until after twelve 1'clock so as to play the joke, he rang the dloor bell. and answered "April fool" when she appeared at the door. His wife laughed over the joke, and It was soon forgotten. About two o'clock in the morning out friend was awakened by his wife, who in.. formed him that there was something wrong with the horse at the barn. She held the lamp while lie went out to see. As soon as lhe had gone a short (distanice, he "smelled a mice" and returnsed to find the door locked, Hie knocked, poundled, kicked, but it (11( no good. lie wecnt around to the bedroom windoiw and could hear his wife breathing regularly, as though quietly sleeping, Hie could not go down town for he wasa en dishabilla. Finally, tapping~ on the window lhe gently caliledu: "Dear ! '' "Yes.'' "Li.et nme in ! ' "WVill you promise never to try to A pril fool me again? " "'Yes." "WVill you get mse that now bonnet ?" "Yes." There was a turning of bolts, andl th( man, whio had gone home happy wit,h the thought of fooling his wife, piassed in and r-etirced. But we will wager that th( p)arty who luformsed us will dlie if he ii found out. Slutkuing Thelir Iliation, One of the mfost remarkable thingi noticeable In social life is the unanimity with which people shake their relatives, Recently a gentleman arrived in Carser with a letter of int.roduction to one of omi leading citizens from the citizcn'a uncle. After the Carsonite read the letter ho re. marked: "Glad to see yotu, sir. Glad to see any, body who knows mny uncle in Cleveland. Ilow are all thme folks?" "Splendid. I spent six weeks thier< last fall, and( I don't really thank I ever mec such a fine fanmily of genial, hospitable am cult.ivated people." "Yes?" "Yes, indeedl-I never spent a pleasnantei thme in mny life. 'Your relatives are, indeed, the--" "Well, young mijin, if my relativea arn such fine peoplo'they must have chaanget like thnder since I lived with them thern a year, and I thInk they are about th< worst pelicans in the dleck. -l woulda' spendl a month with the crowd for the Whole town of Cleveland." "'Indieed," said the other. "Well, sinc< you've been so candid about it I might as well remark right hero that your uincle a5s lisa whole family are the toughest collect thmn of 01(1 fossils I have ever had the mis fortune to be steered against." "Put it there, young man-you shov good sense. Let'sgo out and take a some thing." In a few minutes more the two mel were pledging perdition to the Clevelana relatives over a foamingschoonor of Carso: beer. A Rawyer's Predicamnent. What Is known as the "Western Hotel game'' was tried on an ordinarily sharp Boston lawyer recently, and was frustrated through the shrewdness of a bank cashler, but to the extreme discomfiture of the law yer. The operator was a young and at. tractive woman, and the victim was Charles E. Allen, having an office in Pem berton Square. The developement of the case was full of surprise to all concerned. Late one afternoon the young woinan in question drove up in a carriage to the National Security Bank, on Court street, and on entering the bank presented a check for $1,000, signed by Charles R. Allen. The gentleman has had frequent dealings with the bank, and from the fact that sonic I time ago several blank checks had been stolen frem. his check-book, and a few had been subsequently presented at different places for payment with forged signatures, the bank oflicers were particularly can tious in vaying out money on checks pur. porting to be drawn by him and presented t by strangers. Accordingly the cashier, Mr. Charles R. Batt,when the check wat presented, became at once suspicious, and stepped to the President to ask whether lie Shoula give the nioncy. As the woman was giving the closest attention at the tine, the President thought it pru- I (lent. to reply in . the allirmative. As soon as the teller had begun count ing out the bills the cashier slipped I out of the bank unperceived, and hastened to the detectives' headquarters in Pember ton Square. O1licers Wade uid Hersom t imnediately hurried to the scene of the transaction, and, as bnt a few moments had passed since the presentation of the C check, the woman was "still there. After the oflicers had stationed themselves out side, the cashier entered and informed the i woman that no payment would be made. She then started to leave, and was arrested by the detectives, who took her to their of fice. On the way she attepted to swallow the paper thit hiad caused so much trouble, I but this was prevented. The woman gave U the name of Louisa Silvan, and on search- t ing her, keys were found to rooms in the Revere House. Then followed the sur prises. The detectives first went to the I lawyer's oillce in Pemberton Square, confl dent that lie would prove the signature en the check as a forgery. But the lawyer t was out. They then repaired to the Re- 8 vere House, and in answer to an inquiry if Louisa Stivan was stupping there, WAS shown to an apartment in the hotel. Un locking the door with the keys which had been found, what was the det4CfiVes' as- C tonishment at discovering the very lawyer of whom they had been in scarch, without his coat and appearing very much ashamed at being caught in tIXe predicanent. Questioning him, the detectives were told that he had t heen invited by the woman to ca'l I at her room to see about the purchase of r some real estate. H[e complied withi her f request, and once at the hotel the woman in(uced him to removd his coat. Then, before lie was aware of her design, she had I thrown that garment into her trunk and C locked it. Turning upon the bewildered 8 lawyer, she demanded $10,000 or threat- 1 ened to ring the bell and call the police. I Finally she reduced the sum to $1,000, and a check for the amount was given her, C when she left, taking the precaution to lock the door, and promising: to let her prisoner go in case the money was paid. The wo man is unknown to the detectives. The Fireside. The fireside is a seminary of infinite im portance. It is important because it is ui versal, and because the education It be stows, woven in with the woof of child Itood. gives form and color to the whole texture of life. There are few who can receive. the honors of a college, but all are gradouaites of the hearth. The learning of the university may fade from the recollec tion, its classic lore may meulder in the halls of memory ; but the sunp)le lessons of home, enamelled upotn the hearts of child hood, defy the rtust of years, and outlive the more mature but less vivid pictures of after day-s. So dteep), so lasting. indeed(, ~ are the itmpressions of carly life, that you often sec a man In the ltnbecihity of age holding fresh ini lis recollection the events of childhood, while all the wide space be- I tween that atnd the present hour is ti blasted and forgot teti tvaste. You have, perchance,t seen an o1(d atnd half-obliterated p)ortrait, and in the attempjt to have it cleaned, and restoredl seenm it fade awtay, while a brighter aiid much more perfect p)ictuire, paitited betneath, is revealed to view. This portrait I fIrst, drawn upoti the canvas, Is tie inapt illustration of y'out.h , atnd though it tmay be0 concealed by sonme after dhesigni, st,ill the original traits will sline thiroughi he out.. I ward picture, giving it tone while fresh,. anid surviving it itn decay. S3uchi is the Ilie side-tte great, itnstituition furnished b)yi Providence for the education of man. Ntis for' the Luulitili'y' If you invite frie.ids to pass a week or more with you, try to fix the visit to begin, tIme day after time Irotning is dlone. Youri girl feels a weight off her mind, has tine to cook the~ meals better, andh you will find her a much more wvilling at.tendlant up~onf yout guests. Do not have beefsteak for dinner ot washing or ironing days-ar range to soumethiling you can roast in the: oveni, or else have cold nieat. Do not have fried or boiled fish. The smell stIcks, and1( -your clothes will not be sweet; besides, tIme broiler and frying-pan takes longer b' clean. As for vegetab)les, dho iiot have spitnch, peas, string beans, or apl)hcSautce, 1 as these good t,hIngs ttke tiime to prepare, andh catn be avoided as well as not. J]f It is asked what to have, let me suggest htaked white or sweet potatoes, macaroni, boiled' rice, piarenips. sweet corn, stewed toma toes, any catnced vegetablles ha thei winter. F?or dessert, baked a->mples and( cream, b)read(l pudding, or something easily prepared,. I The lady of the house wvill find It both pleasatnt, easy andl econimical to attend to< the dlessert herself. Neither (10 we cali dusting work, and strongly d#vise her to all she can of it. Of course there isa much that a lady mutst (10 about her house to to have It neat and attractive, hut wve do not Icall this actuatl work. It is rallier laying the hand of taste atid adtapthon umpoti her belonginmgs, and so making her home harm onious andh individual. -UURING mnild weather sheep should not be kept in too warmi p)ens, but Sshiotld be given the run of the ba:n yard in the day time. -The Iing of Siam has turned twen ty-four. Only Two -Neusons. Our division of the year into four sea. ions ts rather arbitrary. We often have, specially iu this latitude, spring in winter, vinter in spring, autumn in summer, and iummer in autumn. Our two most distinct casons are summer and winter, and winl er, not unfrequently Is, as were the winter ust- past and the winter of 1877-8, only uch in name. Still, if we should consider hat we have but those two seasons, we hould be nearer to nature than weare now. day, June, July, August, September and )ctober may justly be ranked with sum. ner. They are generally warm-very varni-as many days in April and Novem ior are. While they last, it is generally >leasant and comfortable to have our wihi lows open, and out-door life is delightful. Ve d- not se(mi to understand this, it east practically, for we remain within loors tir- more thin we ought to. We cem to cling to the habits of our British orefatiers, who, though they are fond of lie outer air and open sky, have so wretched elliate that they must find their chief atisfaction within walls. The Germans md the French revel in the sunshine, hough they have far less of it than our elves, and take every occasion to get out f doors. We rarely have an open-air reakfast or dinner, even in the country, at the Germans and French never misi a hance to break bread under the blue cano y. We should be a healthier, more heerful, more contenLed people if we hould have more to do with external na ure, If we should close oir doors and go iut to meet her. Our virtual winters are 'cry long, so long that we ought to appre inte the summer all the more. November, )ecember, January, February, March and Lpril may be ranked as winter, liberally aterspersed with spring and autumn, but vinter largely predominating. Spring, as dellnite season, can hardly be said to xist ' 'e. March Is winter with aggrava ions; -puil is not much of anything in articular ; May is usually very like sum ier. Autumn is by noi means distinct, so hat we'may as Well adhere to the summer nd winter ditribution. We Americans re apt to associate summer with extreme lent aind discomfort-with thermometers at 00 degrees in the shade, with drought, vith breezeleam nights, with a period when lie city is uno.Aurable and the country un atisfactory. hiat is the weather of late une, of J and August ; but May andi eptember and October more resemble hiat sunuer ought to be, and generally re in this latitude. Otur summor must be alculated at six months ; for, through all liat period our out-door life is delightful. Disconsolate. One day recently, when trade was dull, grocery clerk procured a piece of sole tather from a shoemaker, painted it black id laid it aside for future use. Within a aw days ani old chap from back in the ounrtry came in and inquired for a pluai f chewing tobacecco. '1he piece of sole mather was tied up, paid for, and the pur haesr started for home. At the end of the ixth (lay he returned, looking downeast nd dejected, and walking into the store 0 inquired for the clerk. "Member that terbacker I got here the ther day?" "Yes, sir." "Well, was that a new bratid ?" "Yes." "Regular plug terlbcker was It?" "Yes." "Well, ti.en it's ie. It's right here in ay jaws.'" sadly replied the old man. "I nowed I was getten purty old, but I s Ilus handy on bitin' plug. I never seen a lug afore this one that I couldn't tear to iecea at a chaw. I sot my teeth on this ,no and bit and pulled and twisted like a log at a root, and I've kept biting and pull ug for six days, and thar she am now, the sime as the day you sold her to me I" ' Seems to he a goo)d plug,'' remarked he clerk, as hie smelled of the counterfeIt. "She's all right; it's mie that's falling I" xclaimed the old man. "Pass mec out, ome fine cut and i'll go home and deed he tarnm to the boys and( get ready for the rave myself." The Shoeep*a Nens 01 Hearing. It is saidl so acte is the sheep's sense of earing that she cain (distiniguish the cry f hier own lmb amonug as many as 'a housand others bleating at the sanme time; and the lamb, too, Is ab,le lo recognize its iothier's voice even though it be in the init of a large flock. Janies Ilogg, who r'as a shepherd as weull as a poet, tells ais liat it was very amusing to watch the liee) anmd lambs (during the shearing sea oni. While the sheep were beinig shorn lhe lambs would be p)ut into a fold by hemselves, and thei foriier would be seat to oin .their little ones as soon1 as the opera ion of shearing wvas over. The moment a amb) heard Its molither's voice it wouldl has en from the crowd to mecet her, but1 insteadi if finding the "rough, wvell-clad comiforta ile mamma" which it had left a short time >Ofore, It wouild meet a strange andi most, leplorable looking creature. At the sIght >f this it wvould wheel about, uttering the nost piteous cry of dlespatir, andm p)e,haps un away. Soon, however, i,he sheep's 'oice was heard again, the lamb would hereupon return, then onice mnore bound way, and sometimes repeat this condhuct or teni or dozen times before It, fully tin lerstood that thie shorn ewe was in reality la mother. 1~ Mderate I)rmkang. Theli colonel was warming his coat tall my the fire in a proinent saloon. llis nose ore evi(lence of successful culture, and :iowedl with that rich ruby hue which only steady and( p)r,oongedh worslhip at I lie brine of IHacchius can produce to perfection. llhero was a "' dry" 10ook abiout the corners >f his mouth, which was readIly notIced by he sympthizlng bar-keeper, who good iatiuredlly asked the colonel If lie would not Ike a lit tle s inmulant. '"Certainly, es:tdlnly, sir," replied the :oloneh pr'ompithy, as lie birlskly stepped up o the bar. Pouring out a tumbler level full of the luid, lie tossedl It off, and( soon as lie as utmed a dleprecatory tone, thus adldressed lie bar-keeper ; " ThIs, sir, is my slxty.fourth drink to lay. I miust put on bi-akes, or the first ling I know I shall dlegenerate into excess. lederation, sir, moderation, the grand( 58 ~ret of health has been the rule of my life. f I had but1 one more dIrink at thIs moment, tichard would be himself again." The subsequent remarks of the bar ceeper indicated that for all -he eared, [ichard might remaIn impersonal till the lay of judgment. Why H* Would Not uuy. Ie was a tall, thin nma who hadn't been shaved for probably two weeks. ills hat had holes in the top of it, his clothes shone like a )Iac!d lake at sun rise aili' how his shoes mllanaged to stay on was known only to thenselves. lie aibled up the narrow stairs and Into Mr. Margrave's law ollie. The lawyer was sitting in biir chair chew lug on his penholder. "41 Mr. Margrave In 1' inquired the ped dler. "$Yes, sir," was the reply, 'I ant he.' "Alh yes," responded the fiend, reflec tively, as ie rubbed his chin with his knuckles, "if you are at leisurd, the Melli fluous Morning lory of the AppenAies would like a ioienta atience.'" "Certainly, cerlianly,'' responded the man of law," take a seat. Now, then, state your case. Is it a d(vorce you collie "No sir. Oh, no, its-' "Assaul. and batery I presume,'' quictly interposed the lawyer, as Ie picked up his pen to make a inemortindun. "'Oh no, you are wrong," smilingly re plied Mellifluous Morning Ulory of the Ap pent nes. "I Just camne i hero to have you exaMunC a salvO I'm 8(eling. It is coim posed entirely of vegetable matter and is made by myself only and is called the Aro mautic Soul of Mignonette. It is Just the thing you want. It is as necessary as overshoes. Of course, I do not menti for a moment to insinuato that it will keep your feet warm or keep water out of your boots. I was only speaking metaphorical ly. You tunble to my metaiplior, ci. "Yes air." "Well now, here is a box-a nice little sky blue box which will make a nice play thing for one of your children when it is enipty. It is only twenty-five cents per box and this is gentliuie. See my signa ttin-e." "Yes." "Well, that'ssatisfacetory. Now that we understand each other we'll iust get down to business. Now how niany boxes will you take ?" While the lawyer was thinking. the can vasser continued: "There Is no doubt of the virtue of this great healer. It will cure chapped lips in one night. I have known it to close tip cracks In a (oor and on one occasiont a womuian put sonmo on her lips and It drew them together and clo.td her mouth. Her husband came down next day and reward ed me handsomely. I have testimonials from lots of ministers and prominent men. Ilere the lawyer chewed on his pn handle in rovery and enquired: "Have you a letter recoindi(ling your salv0 from the man who sawed Courtney's boats In too?" "I have not." "Then air, I can't purchase anything from you. When I buy salve, it has got to be endorsed by the man who sawed Courtney's boats. "Yes," responaded the fiend savagely as he backed towards the door, "you are one of them lads what always finds fault and won't be satisfied. You're a healthy man --you are. You wouldn't buy a box of pills unless It had a set of legislativo reso lutions and a schedule of the dates of the deaths of all the famous people for the past twe centuries attached to it." ft:Fhon lie slaninied the door and went down stairs. A Tarred Rtoof. A man living lin West Dnd of Baltimore recently land the flat roof of the L of his house tarred, and when six or seven cats got on it the following night they could yell and arch their backs and try to get a pull on all four feet at once, but they couldn't lift themselves free and their sighiing was frightful, and people in the neigh*rh0ood began to chuck things at them, and the owner of the house forgot about the tar and waent barefoot and in his robe de nuit upon the roof to chiase them off, and p)retty' soon found he cotuldn't stir, and lhe began to whoop and swear, and a policemana got a ladder and climbed upon the roof, and when lie came up over the edge, on his hands ad knees, he had to reamain In that posture. Meantimei the boot jacks were falling in a shower about anad upon them, and the man's mothcer-in law,' in looking out of an uiiper windlow that overlookedl the L roof, to ask thecm if they were naot ashamedl to be ont oii a roof 1p1a.3llg cat at that tame of night, unafort. nuately knocked her wig off, and it fell In the tar; and then she rushed down'i a flight ian:-. went. out on the roof to get it, and couhdn,t pull the wig up, but got her hand stuick to it, so she couldn't let go of it, and of courise her position and her bald head made a dlemad give away, as it wvas qmite lighf, wh'len sonme onio finially canae with b)oards to put downm on the roof for thenm to be got on to whenm they were cut loose from the tam', andl the old1 lady didn't feel a bit wvorse than the policeman, who had1( to wvalk through the streets with the knees of lis trousers cut, out, and left stuack on the roof and( a great hunk of tar stuck to each hand, and got, are'prmnand when he reached the stat.ion,. Andi t,he hliseowner himaself blistered lis feet trying to melt, the tar off of thenm by holding themn tup to a hot stove, and when the eats were cut loose from the roof andl p)ut on the groundi( they tiled to gniaw the tai' fromi their claws and got their paws stuck In tha ir- mouthas and rolled about andl yowhedh and carr'ied on so that folks thought theoy were mad and killed them. Among the passengers who boarded the east-bound train at IIolly, MIchigan, the oilier (lay were a brIde and( groom of the regtulaar holly-hock ordor. Althonugh tihe car was full of passengers the pair beganm to squee'/e hands and laug as soon as they were seated. Th'lis of course attr-aetedl attention, and( pretty soon everybody was nodd(inig and wvinking, and several persons so far foi-got thmselves as to laugh out right. Ily and by the broad-shouldered amnd red-handed groom became aware of the fact that he was being rl(dlculed, and lhe unlihnkedl himself to the height of six feet, looked up and down the aile and saidi: "There sceems to be conisiderable nodding and winking ai'oimi here because I'm hugging the girl who was married to mec at 1 .vclock this anoninug. If the rules of this railroad forbid a man from hugging lis wife after lie's paid fulIl fare then 'm going to quit, but if the rualcs don't and this inlking and linking isn't bitten slort ofY when we pas the next wile-poet, lImn going to begin on the front seats and $reate a rising market for false teeth &and crutchesel" It there were any more wi ejc anid blinks ha that car the groom 4diV eatoh 'emi at it. Angling for Whales. 'The fact that whales abound in suffielent numbers Immediately outside the harbor of Sin Francisco-between the Farallonesand the Golden Clate--to warrant the establish ient of a wialing industry of some Import ance, is not generally known, the Idea gen orally entertained being that those waters are too far sauth to become the reiort of schools of whales, and that only an occa sional fish, separated from his companions in the north, strays into a latitude so far from his supposedi habitat-the Indian Ocean. Considerable numbers of whales can be found at all seasons of the year in tihe ocean adjacent to that port, and within a distance that can be easily traversed in a day. Between the 1st of May and the 1st of October is the most favorable season for Ilshing, on account of the calh weather generally prevailing. When fishing in rough weat her there is always some liability of losing the fish by breaking the line or by cutting loose when the vessel is endangered. The abundance of whales on that coast is accounted for by the fact that whales mi grate southward along the coast In winter, returning northward during the summer, and are constant'y in motion. The varieties of whales which may be caught in that Vi cinity are the suliphur bottom, which is about 130 feet long, the largest in the worl(l, and weighs in the neighborhood of 200 tons, yielding a small quantity of valu able bone, but being rich in oil ; the hump back, weighing 120 tons, the California grays, eighty tons, and the tinbacks and blacktlsh forim the remainder. Sperm whales, which are valuable on account of I the large quantity of spermaceti which they I yield, are but rarely found in those waters, I and prove a valhable additioni to a vessel's catch. Capt. 'honas Whitelaw is now constructing a little screw steamer, sixty live feet long, sixteen wide and nine deep, with which lie Intends to* iniaugurate the business of whalimr outside the Heads. I She will be completely decked over, so that a sea can go completely over her without causing damfage. She is built very strong- I ly, and is deeper than ordinary, so that she can be drawn some distance into tie water v hV a whale, to which she may be made fast I without diiger. She will be fitted with I two compound engines-f--our cylinders. Site can eatry coal enough for a run of thirty days, which will be stored in the I after part, and with the weight of her mua chinery is expected to keel) h%r propeller submerged, to avoid the "beating" caused( by the blades when the vessel )ich3es, whIch can be heard by a whale a considerable I distance, and fiightens him off. The cabin will be in the lorward part, and will be ( <xx:upied by the crew of live men. The i vessel will be launched in about two weeks, and is expected to have i speed of nine i knots an h-ur. Her large coal capacity is a to enable her to take an Arctic trip if re- 1 <tired. 'I he mode of killing whales adopt- I c by this vessel is by the whaling rocket or bliomb-lace, which cuu be discharged fromn the vessel, which Iethod possesses considerable advantages over tihe ot style of h1uniti.g whailes in a boat and with the la(-atice. The expectatiois are that an average of' tell lish will be caught each month. When a whial is dispatclied tile steamner will tow hiin into port and land him at the reducilon works, where the car c.iss will be treated by ani improved process by which every portIon wll be utilized. When a whale is caught at sea the blubber is stripped ol, anld the bone removed, after which the carcass is set Mirift, anti loats arounid until completely devoured by aiarks and birds. Unier the proces to be tried by Capt. Wlitelaw the fish will be cut into sections, and without ditcriminiting be tween blubber, flesh or bones, will be placed in large steam-tight tanks nmde of boiler plates, iato which steam at a high prossuro aInd temperature will be intro (uced, which will have tie effect of com pletely digestatg the mass and searatlng I thme oil, which wall lbe then drawn off. The~ I process will be completed in about eight I 11our1-, when the residute of flesh and bones wvill be tak en 'out, dried, andafewrs grounct together to prlo.ince a fterwaizr. Thec bones tire valuable for this purpose on aiccotunt of thme phosph'late of lane wvhich they will yieldl. 'Tree ''Lays" cani be muade in ai (liy, antd as thmree digesters have beenam conist ructett-ch capable of coattabilning a tean-foot section of a whale-a lu'ge lush cani be reduiced ini about two (lays. An Arctic whlte yieils from 1700) to 3500 pmotunds of bonue, worth $2.75 a pouInd by the cargo at New J5edford. Eachct whale also yields from 100) to 250 barrels of oil, wvor'.a $1I0 per barrel. Iltl sheputrd uassi the hig ICtsek. Waitmtg for thte train at thme Northwesternl deplot thec othier dlay, a rep)orter hieardi G'apt. lonmes, a well-knowni hlunter, telling this story to a small btut interested audience, composedl chieflyof TIomn St. Gleorge: "Did you ever hemar how Hill Shepard shot sevetn dleer out of one drove? It was a still, cloudy (lay, and( there were two feet, or miore of snaow on thme groumd. Thlere were just an even dozeni In the herd, andit Bill had got behind a b)ig log witlhan ten rods of thema. le had to stnake a hole thlrough the snow on the log to get alght. iIe got ali readly, ptcked Out thme biggest one, aand blazed away. it was a big buck, and drolpped to the shot. Well, you know if a deer can't see or scent you lie won't, run, and you can keep on shooting as long ae you like. So whieni Bill dIrop)ped the fIrst onie thle bmalaince' jutst scatteredl and( camell right back together agiln. Ile shoved In another cartridge, picked out, the biggest one again, and( he tlumbledl too. Bill put a third cartridge1 down, picked out the biggest onae againa, and lie dlroppedl to tile shtot. By tIs time 1H111 was pretty well excited. HIe had1( only fottr mnore cartridges left ; but kept as cool as possib)le, p'icked out thte biggest every time andl fetched himu. When he fired hisa last shot, he0 sait and( watched 'emn foa a long tIne, lbut finally lie had to show - himself,and the balanace of the deer left. It was just about this time the rest of tus came upi and inquilred what all the shoot ing was about. Bill was feeling awfully becatuse ho hia(dn't any more cartridges, btt lie swore he'd got se Von deer anyway, We went over to see. Th'ie snowv was mightily tramped downm, sure enough, but there was only one deer-a bi1g.. buck. There wasni't the least, trace of tIle other six, every onie I of which Bill saw drop to the shiot. Then we went tip and looked at tile one lhe got, and as sure as youlr're 'aorn ihe hallI sevon b)ullets in him. Bill hmad shot the *ame one e every shlot, lHe w6uld fall, and then, jump 1 usp again, and being the biggest one, Bil111 picked him out every time. Of course It jjzt have been the last shot that settled I i$t, for there was only otic bali thid would vekilled h4im.n FOOD FOR THOUGHT. If you would not have alliiction to visit you twice, istenl at once to what it teaches. Nothing so adorns the face as cheer rulness; when, the heart is in flosver, Its bloom and beauty pass to the fea lures. lie who boasts that his heart has re nined whole, confesses that he has )lily a prosale, out-of-the-way-corner leart. To be unkind or rude to others and ret expect to be treated by them with sourtesy and atrection, is absurd and lellish. Look at the pages of your own heart, mtid you will see a dim reflection of vliat the recording angel hab written Lbout you. The more a man knows about a sub cot the greater will be his charity for, nlid sympathy with views differing roin lis own. The wise man Is happy when he gains als own approbation, and the fool whent 0 1 econitneds himself to the applause >f those about him. Truth and purity, like so many gcm.s i the life and example of the good nan, cannot but shame and condemn irror and vice In others. It Is easy enioigh to make sacritices orthose we love, but for ourenemy we Lave to struggle and overcome self. Weh a victory is noble. Those who, without knowing us, hink or speak evil of us, do us no tarim ; it Is not us they attack, but the Ahant >m of their own Imagination. Politeness may prevent the want of vit and talents tron being observed; mut wit and talent cannot vrevent the Ilscovery of the want of politeness. A thoughtfulness for the comfort of hose about us, a pleasant smile, a kind vord--those are the ingredients of vhIch good manners are chleily coan >osed. Anybody can soll the reputation of .n Individual, however pure and chaste, y uttering a suspilton that, his ene ales will believe and iLs friends never War of. If you wish success in life make oerseverence your bosom friend, ex lorlence your wise counsellor, caution 'our eller brother, and hope your guar lianti genius. UnselfIsh people are always polite >ecause goo-l manners are only the ab once of self1shaness. They are the loing unto others its we would wish to 1e done unto. So much are we the slaves of the vorld, that we somenmes liesItate to do i action which is proinpted by the eart, fearful that It may be mistaken y others for folly. Ile that sympathises in all the hap iiess of others perhaps simself enjoys he safest happness, and lie that is varned by all the folly of others has >erhaps attained the soundest wisdom. "There Is good advice enough extant or the population of three worlds like 4ira," said an old preacher; ''what we 100d most Is to have this advice prac leally worked up into good examples." Life has many Ills, but the nind~thit lows every object in the most clseer tig aspect and every doubtful disp ena tion at8 replete with latent good, bears vithin Itself a powerful and porpotual utidote. Rnligion gives to virtue the sweetest 1opeS, to tilropen ting vice, just alarms, o true repentance the most powerful onsohations, but sie endeavors above 11 things to Inspire in men love, meek tes4 and pity for nen. C)ntentment produces, in some mneas tre, all those Ailcts which the alchem at usually ascribes to what lie calls the >hilosephier's stone, andtii1 it (does not rig riches it does the arme thing by anishing the dheslre for thorn. To ascertain the lenirth of a day andl tight multiply the hour at whIch the uin rises by two; the result will be lie lengthi of the night. Miultiply the tour at which the sunl sets by two, and he result will be the length of the (lay. Nothing is easier to a man of genius, iothilg . more certain proof aind part >fIt, thani to compose whatraises men's vender and admuiratioin; nothmng more lificult than to show them distinctly lie simplest and most obvious truths. Every man stamps his value on him olf. T'he price we challenge for our elves is given ,us. Themre (does not live in earth a man, he his station what It nay, that says "I despise myself.'' dlan is made little or great byis own viii. Th'le fountain of content must spring p in the mind, and lhe who has so lit Ie knowledge of human nature as to eck haippiness by changing anything itut his dI1ipositiOfl will waste his life n fruitless cfl'orts and multiply the ;rlcfs which ho proposes to remove. People make a great mIstake about eaven. They think it begins up yonder, tat Itreally begIns down hero. If you .re hiappy In the basement-story you ro fittd to enjoy the other stories. nt, Is you whine and moan here, heav n itef con not change your mood. if' we long to brIng forth all the ruit of the Spirit, let us strike our 'ols dJeep and wide in private prayer. hat. faith and support, that strength mnd .grace which we seek of God in se ret, that they may be excused in the our of need, God will in that hour ~ive uas before men. A groat supply indicates a great harge. Oh that some would thini: of lis! A man has g rowns richer than ho used to be. Birot her, wIth more barley nid straw you ought to keep more romnedarida. I mean that God does iot .send the coran for the mice to de troy, but he means It to be eaten. A wvoman may be handsome or re narkably attractive In various ways, mut if she is not personally neat she annot hope to win admiration.. F~ine Jeothies will not coniceal the slattern. A young woman with her hair alwvays n disorder and her clothes hanging bout her as if suspended from a prop, a always repulsive. The chief p)eril of the Church to-day rises not from infidel- or ignorant as ault. It comes from the false vows f partial consecration of true mem cra. A full fidelity on the part of ach, producing a glad hartnonious nd self-denying miistry of banded aellevers, will most olt'eetually 'rei ute ndl at long th utterly overthrow alli 0t. 'ar'd assallant.