The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, April 15, 1880, Image 4
Wanted a Postal Card.
Recently a njan wearing a doubtful
look caine to the lamp clerk's window
in t.o post-oflico for and asked
a postal card and facilities
for writing. Ile was a long time
getting ready to put his
pen to the vard, and he only made a
stroke or two when lie called out:
"How do you spel11 Jn ?"
"Why, J-1-in, of course," answorod
the clerk.
"Don't look as if it was right," said
the wan, as he held up the card and
scrutinized the word. Sure you havent"
made auny mistake?"
"That's the way of course," said a
bystander. ''lew else couild you spell
the name ?"
That's so-how could I ?" smiled the
man. Now his other name is-Is--well
knock me down if I haven't forgotten I
Why, hang it, I have known him for
ten yeurs, and now I can't think of his a
nawe! J nu-Jiu---Jimu--J-i-m----y un I"
lie lookod round in a helpless way,
and one of tihe crowd said:
"'You can write the message and think
of the namine afterward."
"So 1 can. I w : to tell hin his wile t
Is slek a bed, t i .,ndlord howlin'
round for re.., .i d that he'd better
come home. i Lj do you spell it ? '
"I'll writ ,, ' answered the clerk.
"IIe could t' ad your slicurogra
phy," said the stran:er. '"Jin ain't
much on edtucation, and I have to write
just as poor as I can, or he can't make
out a word. Le ss see--Jo I start oil
with 1'. S., orwhat?
"1 should say, ' You are wanted to
come home at once,' if it was me,"su a
gested a car driver who was alter a -
stamp. t
"'Twould n't (o," sighed the maln. I
wouldn't dare sprlnhg the thing on himU
suddenly, or he'd make for Canada.
The place to tell hni to coie home Is
down here at the botton."
"Where is he ?" some one asked.
"Why, In-iin--in--vhy, blister nay
ears--why-- 1"
"I'll bet you've forgor the place!"
shouted thocar driver.
"J-1-m, Jim--.l-h-m, Jln., an d lie's In
in-J-I-ml, J an 1" gasped the mani as he
loo'ed ayounid with an appeal in his
eyes. t
The crowd mentioned twenty differ
ent places but lo shook his head at each t
"'If you can't think of his name, and
can't remember hIs address, how are
you suing to send the card ?" asked the i
clerk.
"That's so, how am I ?'' sighed the
man. "J f you was inc you wouldn't
send it, would you ?''
"'I lon't think I would.''
"'Then I won't. If his wife knows
his name and the place where he
Is she better write it."
And he walked away with his hat la
his hand, scratching his ieald and mn1ut
tering, "J-i-n, Jim, and he's il--blister
mny ears; I ought to have put that down 1
Ko that I could roemuber where he is.,' '1
I.
Wodded onu Horsebacek.
I ,
Nearly n month ago Mrs. A. E. Wait-.
son, of Californi, a sister or a-rs. '1
WVrlghat, arrived at, Bluea Vista, Colo-a
rado. M~rs. Watsoni was found of horse
- back riding, aund abhout a week after her i
nrwriv al at, Buaea Vistaa, while on a.n i:
equestrian excuirsion, she met by chmancme I
George Ruak, ai wealthay stoc-grower i
of the Arkansas Valley, who wvaus also i
on horseback. It was a genaulmie case
of love alt first, sight, anml just three I
woeks from the day of their first mieet, -
hng, the lovers, accomnpaihed by Mrs. S
WYrhght as ba-idemald and A. .J. Scott as
grooimsman, started for Granite, tantenud
ing to silt in theoir saddles and have saId
tihe words which should unite them for
life. Although the start was made at
seven o'clock, thme road wais so bad that
they did not reach Grauite until about
noon. JuLst at the edlge of the town,
while crossing a bridge, Mr is. WVright,'sI
horse sllipped . She hold halin up, but.
while regalianig her bailance lie silipped
again and fell, the lady be ig thrown
down an emubanukmaent. She was llkedi
up) and1 carried to the nearest house,
where it was found that, lier- rIght arm
was brokenu. The stag:e for Leadville
had arrived, and Mras. Wihght att once2(
determainaed to take it and come home
to her husband, S. D. Wrignlht, who waus
not with her, as had been areported.
Buat thme ceremony lad not, beenu per
formed, antai the plucky woman dleter
maine(r that t,he mihaap should( noct, in-.
terfere wit,h the prog"rammiae they haid
arranged1. She wats cararied to her horse
anmd held upon hin, and whIle the eqtuu
train bridal part.y gathleredl aroun id a
J udge q iickl1y united N[Mrs. Watson anad
Mr. Rouak for lile. M rs. WVrIght in
i-1stedl thaat, they should go back to theIr
pleaanat hiome in Buena Vista and( en
joy thaeir haoney-maoona, leaving her to
com[n alone to Leadville. Shec carraiedl
her polant, and arrived here alt a late
hour, nearnly fr-ozena and almost crazy
wIth p)ain. Couinag up from Granite
she rode outtside all the way. On thec
Malta road the driver of the coacha
found a house on the way, and endeav
orIng to turn out and pass by the coach
was uipset, but a lady anael gentlenman
.who were sitt,ing wvith Mrs. Wrlght
held her in suoh a way that she was
not hurt, although her nerves sufferedh
afiother terrible shuoek,
whien Ilaguedm by thme Vagaries
Of a d'sorderod liver. time bilious neod expect
to der.ve noeprmaanont refeor froma Lieouno of I
omol. bluao pill, or time barabaousu eatiaatlto.1 I
now happily losfing ground in general an I pie. I
feasionalI estimation. 'These ra-p. con vulse
and weaken tihe myst(em, but Iostter's
Stomac.h BlItter., rohunve, regulate an't may go.
9it..a Tiose sacanifloant innma in the liver,
p saffron lane whIch lis orangement com-.
dm 4atoe to the skin, lImo impurity of the
b)oo,Qoo'atptiomn. furred condm om of the
~tonao 0and a bntamination of the breath-whaich
- esuIt fr. m billonaeess. are entirely, speedfly
,~ d plepasant-ly remnoved by this beneiflcenmt al
tftivYe, which ii likewise a potent reilhedy for
-t and ISV. an sd fas beast preventive.
16 the system tis regulated and puriie d, it
OtOtgiay1lyjgrated by this sumper.
nd a &ao boian.o oi
d h;~t~lutr fg ei
FARM AND GARDEN.
GRArrINO GuAiE VINEs.--'Those who
vish to graft th.r vines over with
ther vines should remember that win
er and not spring Is the time for it
ndlti In the season the grape is ditreront
rout most other trces. I is differeit
nt this, that in the spring of the year
hero is such a trementdous pressure
ipward by the ascending sap that the
)arts of the scion and stock which to
mite must of course touch one another
nto forced by the sap apart. Wioa the
,rafts are put in at this season there is
ittle of this. The severed cells grant
ilate and heal, ath when the sap I
cady to flow up wai ds strongly it goes
p through its regular Channels in the
raft without a:ty tendency to break
ut througih the iunctioni. How to
raft grape vines admits of many vari
>us replies. The best is probably that
lescribed years ago by S.rnimel Miller,
>f Missouri, who was very success ul Is
grafter of the grape. IIe drew away
lie boil :romu the stock to be graft
d, cut It down about two inches
room the surface, then cut with
stout sharp knife a long narrow
veddge-si.apeti notch In the stock, and
haped the sclon as a wedge to fit in the
otch Ila tihe rtock. The lips of the
occh are then tied together and the
art.h drawn in around the whioe,
caving the ulppttr eye of the graft. above
ie ground. We may aay that it is very
tstonishing that grafting is not imure
;euerally practised, and especially
inee the discoveJ.y that the great su
ess of the Concord, Clinton an< a few
tier grapes is not, owing to any extra
ardiness, blit to the fact that the power
o throw out nutnerous fibrous roots
4 greater in ..hese kinds. If this be
rue, and "t seeni to be really the ease,
vc) may have the ChoiLest and best of
ralpes by grafting them on these vig
rous rooting stocks. For once the
rencih seem to have taken a stait
head ofi us in this matter. They sent
n agent, to this county sone years ago
-a shrewd obwerving fellow-and he
nok in the whole situation at once.
'he result has been that millions oi
illions of Concord andl Clinton cut
ings have been sent to France the pait,
lye or six years, and in future wines
i1 that comutry may he brought to at
gigher grade of perfection than ever
Vclore.
MEAT AND NOT FAT.--Butch-ers In
tIerica as well as in England and
ie'otamtI evidently see signs of the up
nroach of a radial change in public
aste in time mattter of tihe meals waitedi
or use, 1're,h on the table. Time was
vliet to suit the piblic tasle, imeat of
.ny kliul must bie fat. Now to offendl
he public taste one L.as but to show
eatt accommpaited by a thick boi der of
allow. Ono who wa,: for many yojors aI
mnecessful butcher in Eugl:at,d says the
lisposthuon is to r Je.ct lIaL in buying
eet or mutton, and we have lately seen
mn Emnglish papers cola!ilts from
tutchers there of t ils tendeticy. They
omplainl that, they cannot afford to
mtit. fat bttlloeks amid sell the lean tl sih
mly without asking prices wiclhi seem
o consumers iiitogether too igh iii
ompariSon with the prices pald Ior the
mving antimal. There has been !ess
omiplaint about this, p"-rhaps, on this
ide of the watttr, but the efect of our
inalclal stress was shown in another
'ay. People st.opped buying meat
vbien they foumd they could no longer
fiord to iay the price of it primn steak
or tallow, worth livV or six cePti, per
aps, to the butcher, biit worth lttle
r nothing to the averaige household.
'hey wanted meat aud not fat for their
loi.cy. No onme canm he sturpr)mised at t,he
rowth 01' ai disp~ositioni 1.0 reject fat
vbmenm fiesh hs wanted. Peole hamve
earnedet Cthamt inm fat ther'e is little or' 11o
ood suiable to this5 ellmat~ie, mind to time
canit s of' tile mnajoraity of imleat-ealter's.
'here is ilt tie muscle f oimiimg food ini it,
iud so it IS nmot. ani eLonolal tOo I for'
hose w ho have heavy mainial abomr to
o. Fom' time priofi onammmli manmm, and lon mill
oiniedi to sedemtary' occmupatiomns, no,
ne supplio5s it II10 food . Itm i l t be r'e
retted ithait our' f'or<:fauthersd(id not, d:s
over' t.his bi'ores they3 rinmed thirim di
'estivye or'gans anmd lbequeathmed to late r
enmerationm' dyspm'p'sia an md kinmdrmed ills.
'le at,omna'h o1' evemn thiose whio work
mm time open air immich of' time timie mire
carc'mely abile (o dligeat time qnaint.11ties oif
:rase they mare ofemi charngedi wimh,nam d
ven time farmer's ar'e boxinnin mg to s e
hamt f'at imleat i(t malways cheapiI ineal.l
1. is Crime time himed mean will emat less ft.
ork thanmi lie hiee', buthlie will give in
etiun f'or time fat less labor'. If' you
tairve hiis miiuiscle y'oi'uiannot re'as(imly~
Xpet ihis muscle to give you a liberal
iad pr'liit:lble r'etur'n.
11Exs iN Waxramn.-i' eggs ar'e ex
>eefed di iuing time winterci 1mnths-anid
ibey ommghmt to be-tme f'owlu n umst, bem
wept warmm anmd well f'ed. Th'iey will
iot bearm crowding. a fatct that ia ioo
ftenm ov'erlooked,* liens are mnaturmalle'
etive creatures.. and imutst have roomn
o ruin amnd exercise t hemmselves. Them
mouse imuist be kept, cleman, andmu an
'mndi(ance of f'reshai air iand puire wiater
>riovided ; lso) a consetamit simpply of'
myster shm:lls or' bones, broken fIne.
FAnMEnsa who spremad on a thin ('Omat
f twelve or fifteen loads of imnra to
lie maere, anti expect to raise a good
'rop, would lie iatonishied to see time
lumnt ities of' the best kinds of manul iro
v hiih imairket at den<'rs often appliy to
in mmcme (of lind nearcii thle elf les. W hamt
'ouldi they say to tihe applieation of
60O0 wor'th of. horse maniurie to a single
ice? Tw'uo or' thrmee hunidr'ed dolliars
vorthm oif mnanuimre)0 iper'acr is a comoifh)n
hing anmong immarket.gardenmers, and
bmey find thmeIr reward 1mn so doing.
mnanuiire is amade by tum'nhng th1e heap
>ver twice. Tio dic this, begin at each
smdt of' limo pli1, and thmrow oil' till ima
umro to a cihsancmme of three feet, build
ng up) time mew heaps, amnd placing time
oat sest mamure in the centre. 'hmen
>roceed unt,il two heaps are mamde.
t'hese will soon heat, and a monmth or
10 afterwards time process may be re
'OrsBed mind tihe two h'aps mmade into one
mgain.
Thme Ilappoest E~Meovery of the A ir
Aniakomis. an, inifallible cnre for PILsI, a eoi.
iific comnbinatonm of poultico, instiument andi
miodicmino, endiormed by hiysicians of all
chodims, discovered by l)mn. I tune, a regular
hnysillanm, andl used .,mnocssruhly in thiousanmde
if eases. Snfforrsu whio have tried overrthitpg
lalo im.vaini, wil anid inmstanmt reief and perma
ont euro. It is regarded by medical men as
he greatest of nmeodt rnt dimcoveries, and- pro
monnmeed In fallible. "Anaukomuis" senlt by mail
>n receipt of P'rice $1.00 p or box. Samples
'aixe, by P. Neustaedter & Co., iBox 8916 'New
(.ENERAL DEntiLiTY.-inl this comi
)laint time good ell'eets of' time Vegotino
ire realIzed . immediatelg aftm' coom
ncnimmg to take it ; as debility deoies
iefilencamy of thme blood, amid Vogotino
tots dir'ee'ty upon the bilood. There ha
o remedy that will restore thle hiealth
rom debility like time Vegetimne. it Is
iourlslhing and strengthmening puirifles
hie blood, rogulaites time bowels, quiet.
he. .ervous system, acts dir'eetly upon
hie seoretonm, and aronses time whole
ystem to'acth6n. ii has never' failed
n this. complaint,
DOM1a3'rIC.
IiuE ate two formulas for manuf:le
turing that favorite cosmetic, Jfiorldu
water: (1) Oil of bergamot, 4 ottices;
oil of lemon, 0 ounces: oil of lavender
1 ounce; oil of cloves. 0 drachlms (wint
measure), alcohol 3% gallons; watci
(wino measuire), 6 pints. ''ho oils and
alcohol muust be inixed alid allowed tc
stand a day or two, atter which till
water should he ciref'illy added. (2;
Oil of bergamot, 8 otuuce ; oil of orango,
1 ounces; oil of cinnamon (true), 1
ounce ; tincture of orils, y pint; tin,t
tire of Peru balsan, . pint; atlc""hol, .1
gallons; water, 6 pints. Mix and ie1
It remifn qutiet for some days, befori
filtering and boiling.
A Cu RE rot Co.Ds.--Boll two ounces
linseed in i quart of water; when boil
ed strain, add two ounces sugar-candy,
halt Ia iur. of tno asses, juice of thre
lemons; mix well, put, on the Stove, let
It come to a boil, then take it oil, andl(
.aS 801 its cold bottle it; take a teaeup
f ul before going to bed ; the hotter you
drink it the better it is.
B3ARLEY'W ATtEa.-TO I tablespoontul
of pearl barley, washed in cold water,
add two or three Itumps of stgar, and
the juiLe of halfl at lemon. On Ihost
poiir one quart of boiling water and let
it stand sceven or eight hours; strain ;
tiever uis t43 barley a second time,
illll' a ii or e of iingla,s may be boil
ed in the ' ..er. Iucrease the sugar it
desirable. '/rfevers or weak stomtachs
ia strengthenuig diink.
RIcE CoriE:I. Brown rice as yOIu
volI the coffee bean, and tlien cither
grind or mah in the mortar; take halt
at cup of the grounid rice, andl pour
about it quart of boiiing water over it
and let it stand about ten or fifteen
mtinutes; then stra!n and sweeten with
loaf sugar aid seison with boiled milk.
DriInk of this freely. This is particu
larly nice for children.
A GooD Dinic FOR TilE LUNos.
iTash clean ia few pieces of Irish moss;
put it in i pitcher, and pour over it two
cups of boiling water. Set where It
will keep at the boiling point, btt not
boil, for two hou rs. Strain, and squeeze
into it the juice of one lemon. Sweet
enl to ta,te. If till' patient cannot take
lemon, flavor with vanilla or iiutieg.
BEF.F"TEAI.--latve a very small piece
of -urloin steak, rather thick. When
everything is ready on tii": tray, put
the steak over a clear coal tire to broil ;
eook eight minumtes; season with salt;
didh oil a warm plate, and serve iummed
lately.
PL.UM PoitlDoE:.--Into o quart of
holling milk stir two tablespoonfuls of
ilour ilxed with cold milk; put in a
handful of raisins and a little gritted
n :tmeg. holl t wtentty mninutes. Season
with salt, and strain.
CoiN TEA.-BIown, and puund n a
mortar, oue cup of sweet dry corn;
pour on this two cups of boiling n ;ttr,
and steep Jl'teen minutes. This is
very light itnd nutritions, and can be
taken when the patient is very weak.
To REMOvE STAIN FROM MATTRESSES.
3lake ia thIek paste b3 we t-ing starch
in cold water, spread this over the
stain, first. placig the mattress in the
siln. Riul';I it coulplo of' hours, andl(
if the ticking is no. perLectly clean, re
pieaL thc pr'ocss.
A R EM EDY F'ot NEU RA LIA .--Rub
with lie hand vIgorously, u tiil that
pait of tihe body seems numbll, anid the
pa11 In i ceaises. Tiis pro'ce'SS will
c1ure~ almo)St any pain, a1t d t tat I r:
(1u1 t y In anl open36 1r , by r-u! bing~
FU RiE CUnlE FoR CoIRN.-Cry'stalized
tInes a (lay withI th6e cork o1fLl 1.b )ott.le,
will r'emiove the'1)16 pli t on1cC and1 t
corn6 ini a few weeiks.
Fon Rol't corns1 dip a pi1-ce of' 1111en
('loth inl ti'1rpentine and1( wrip i~t round
t,bie toe oni which theo corn is sItitat d],
nightL amnd mlorin1g. 'hie irelie wIll Ibe
immeIitdI:te, a~6nd, after it few days', the
corn will disaippearl.
MUTTON 0on LAMB Unior.-31titton. 0r
16am6b ollps are ooke al.6l(3d166 1 served th. C
satntme waiy as kieef t !ik, only fir'st, trim.ll
minig (lf' all the fait. If' the patientl
cannolilt.eat them rar'e, have LIhO s*.eaid
and1( chops) cut raitherl Li tin.
TEA leaves, 118ed for keep)ing dlowr
th -. dList whien sweeping. ('arlieres, art
apir 10 stalin Iighit colors; salt is the besi
in th wAin %lterl and16 new', mtownl lhay ir
the utuerill.
IlnTTERMm K Is ex('ellenlt f'or cleaning
spoingv8. ISto i the' sp)onge in thle mil 1
lot' isome hosl, the ii'1Iquet Ze It out an61
waish It in coldl water.Leojucb
also goo Leo uie.
TIO DaIVE AW AY JELEA.-Pour Co,
oIl upon)1 aniy anliIl. (bogs and dogs;
upon whIeh dleas breed, and all vermnir
wvill soon1 disappear. if vermin .art
upoin cattle, dip the card on coal ol
and curry.
VINiroAR EnJLEY.-i6 Il ('ne ('up 0
mil1k, ai 8111' ini one talblesp)oonfull 01
vinlI'ar. It'flts (does-nrot make1( it wVhey3
stir ini a little more; when it eur'dles
strain.
SouR-suLK WVuxly.-Tjo one cup o
boIling sweet milk, add one1 Cuip of'Sotui
mil1k, aind strain.
No greater guarentelLe 01' the excel.
hence of Dr'. Buill's Conghl Syrup conk
be fu:rnish,ed thn that It Is rCcomn
mondied by all the leading Druggists
D. 0. OwicExa, Drugg-lat, A ltoonin, Pa.
.WrItes: "'D'. flulli's lBaby Syru'tp has18
wVonderjiful repu)itaItion), the dlemandi foi
it is reQalvly stonising, Motheris wIl
hav no6) ot-ier'. it is t'ied to sup'er.
sede all other- Son' bii Sy'rups
THERR Is but one real cure for bald
R)ess-CarIboline, a deodor6i'zed eiXtrael
of petroleum, a natural 116air Restorer
As r'ecenitly improved, Carboline.Is frel
f r,om any ,ohjyetLiqu. 64Tho. best hali
66. Drop oft Joy Iln Nevry Word **
F LIcuINoTON, lJhn5tydon Co., .N. J
- D. , V. IEncE, Dlufl.aib, N. Y.:
Three monthis ago I was broken out
with) large uleers andC sores on muy b)od
limbs andi face [ procured your Uoider
Medical Discovery and P'urgativo P'el
leta, and1( have taken six bottles, and1( to.
da'y I am in good health, all those 1u21
ulcers having healed andi left my skir
in a natur#l, healthy condition.]
thoughlt at Onie t11m1 .1 coili d not be
cured. Although I can but poorly ex
press mny gratitude to you, yetathere i
p drop of joy in every word 1 w~rite,
Youtrs truly, JAMES-a 0.JELLIS-.E
HUMOROUS.
AT a railroad station two young met
enter a ear bearing the placard, "Re,
served for Ladies Traveling Alone,'
and taking out their cigars prepure t(
light them.
"Gentli en," says an old lady whc
had already taken her seat; "Gentle
menl, you are in the wrong ear l"
The two young men smile pleasant
ly and strike lignts.
"You itnsolent creatures," cries tha
lady ; "I'll make a complaint and havi
you put ou of here," and leaning on
of the window she cries to the neares
portdr, "I say, porter, here are tw<
men in this car, which is reserved foi
ladies only, and .thtey are going t(
-smoke."
"I'll make that all right, madam,'
cries the porter, and lifting the placart
'"Ri+served for Ladies Traveling Alone'
'ronl off the car he 'astens it to the ad,
joining one.
"LEAP year srives young ladies i
gentleiman's I rivi ege in making love.'
Perhaps it does. But no respectable
young aa will have anything to do
with a young lady who takes a posltioi
on the street cpruer, and notonly winki
at the grejtleanin as they pass by, bull
also squirts tobacco Juice on their coat
tails. Nor would It look well for i
dozen or mnore young 1-ules to loal
aroutal in front of a chur:-h an hout
ant a half on Suinlay nighti sparring
anad knocKing omie another's hats oif
atnd dancing ia ;ra-!a-la on the sidewalk
in order to kill time un:il the congrega
tion Is dismissed, and theu buckle ul
to a young man and escort him home,
Nut any.
SOME Harvard students got served
right! They fixed a printer so thai
for a consideration they dould obtaini
copies of the examination questions tc
be presented to them. Thu printer be
Iug unable to procure the original
tade up one froi an 0ld4 catalogue
and recetved therefor, $300. ''ha way
the air around Cambridge wasstreake]
with blue and sinelt brimstone on thal
examination day was a cautton. Thal
n.inier l- mot to be found In the vicinity,
le Is hiding.
IE had asked for her -photograph,
She excused herself with some kind of
a story about her negative being lost
and another would have to be secured
etc., when he Iuterrupted her rathei
warmly with the remark: "What do
vou anppo?ze I care )or your negative,
Carrier It's your afllrnative I've beeu
tal.er these six imlonths!'' She sait
uothing, but kind o' turned utp the
white of her eyes, and lie-. Well, 11
is nobody's business what lie did. It u
only necessary to say that he startet
for the tailor's first thing next morn
ing, and shs-iwhy, she has done noth
lug but try on all sorts of things evei
since.
WILLIAM MCCABE, of Cynthiant, Ky
g ave his aged and feeble mittier a soun
% hipping because she had uinjusta:
p ani,felwd him is a boy thirty years be
fore. Ie said that as she was gettinl
so old, he might lose the opportunity ti
get even with her if he deferred tha
settlement.
"Jon, why were you out so late, las
night ?" "It wasn't so very late-oni'
a quarter of twelve." "How dare yot
sit there and say that! I was, awak<
when you caie inl, and it was threa
o'clock." "WVell, isn't three a quarte:
of twelve ?"
WE pirotest against the folly of th:
senatelu.ss dlemanad that the money of the
land should be kept in c,ir.tulationi
That's just the trouble with it; It elr
cualates too fast, WVhat we are trying
to do is to stop) a little of It.
"WhEN I waus young,'" staid Mrs
Seoid~ weli to her little girl, "'1 used te
hove my dear mamai too weoll to act as
you (1.'' "'And did your mamma,'
replied Bertha quickly, ''used to be tall
the ui:na tt 1 ii g you what she did wvhe,
she wvas a girl ? -
B3r.L-'UL.ro 'arry, It ain't proiper t(
have yer 'anmds ia yer pockets to day
'Arr3--Oh, ain't it? Well, I've go
mitne in other p. ople's all the week, re
I enn anTord to have 'em In my own ot
Su ndays.
PA IlsoN (sternly)-lowv could yot
come to chur'h to be married to a mat
ini such ta state ias that? Brlae (weep
hIg)-lt wats not my fauilt, sir; f neve,
can get halii to come wheni lie's sober
A FELL.ow-FEELI..a! O0d ladly (te
you ng cuartate who las obrnauedh pre
f'armeint, ,and Is about to leave): "er
malin sorry to loso you, sir. Youi'v'
ben a old womtan yourself, sir !"
THiE news reached Denver In th<
aftrnoun that gold had1( been founad a
Pilat.t Canon, and before nighatfal
haundredls of' prospectors started b:'
traina for thn liace. The valley wia
cove'red wvith claims within two days
and( tat ihe end of a week Platte Canet
hati become a city.
A SMA LL boy, boasting of his father'
taccomnphlihments, said: '"My fathei
can do almost anything; hie's a neotar'
puiblic anad he's an apothecar'y, and cail
maet1d teeta , and( lie is a doctor, ami
can mnendl wagotns andl thuage, anid plaa
tihe fidudle; lao's a Jackass at all trades.'
JtEMt-."I see, Robin,- that the pa
per sutya we'r'e to hae auithier stern
aaex t Monday."' Rohhin--"Mani, it'
terrible ! Since the Yainkees liac got
ten the wveathier infae their keepin
we've a stormn every it,ber -.ay."
A GAY rooster camne trllpping ligh
fatntastic foes tap to the occ'upiant of
q4het nest and staId :"Will you dancee
liddiCy 7'' "Excuse me," said the lion
*'I am engake,d for this set."
WHrYtdoes an aching tooth impost
allenc~e on t,he suafferer ? Because I
maakes huim 1liold his jaiw.
C (1 U 0 n s. - " l3nowN's IIRONCnRJAI
Uncm wviil allay irritation which
indtuces conighinast, giving oftentime
Iimmdiate relier in Bronchi Itis, Ititnen
zA, 'HIoarseness, anud Consumptive ant
Asthmat,ic Comnplaiints.
IF EVitnY one of our readers would
try Dobbhaus' Ehectmic Soap, (Cragin &
Co., Phlilehphia,) th ey would,1lIke us
become fIrm believer's in Its wonderful
snerit. 11ave your grocer order it
.TwO On Tius. COLD fa iaCcOesion will ofto1
est ablisa the seeds of Consumption in the y
tern, conaver hag wtha was ormgina'iy is Dim S
Curable nITee-loe inf9u one efnortally tat.l
White ordinary pruideno ', t'. erefre, makes it thi
busr tiess or ev' rr one to take eare or a ct
sutl it ia got rid of, ahteilgent experience pri
tents a remedy I Dr. Jay~ne's Expstorant
lbhoughiy adapted to reiov pedib 'i
Doughs and Coids. and ~eu~yefftive ha th
maitages of 00psam0ton Asthma aat
PERSONS of sedentary habits, often
stiffer with Kidney affections. Irritat
ing medicines and overwork are fruit.
ril causes of diseases of the Kidileys.
Sufferers from tis weakening and
dangerous disease would mainutain the
strength 01 the digestive organs and
improve tuu quality of the blood by a
persistent use of Sinnona Liver Regu
lutor' taken three tines a day. Tlis
will restore the Kidneys to their
wonted health and vigor.
"I have been troubled with Liver
Complaint, Kidney Disease and bad
blood for a long time. I have used
about ten bottles of Simnons Liver
Regulator, and it has done une more
good than all the inedieines I ever took.
I would not be without it. If you de
sire you can publish this. Yours truly,
"GEo. [l. ltArr, U. S. Deputy Col
lector, See. Uts't. O "
Wanted.
Sherman & Co., Marshall, Mich., want an
agent ita this county at once. at a salary of
0100 per month and expenses paid. For full
particulars address as above.
VEGETINE.
IN POWDER FORM.
SOLD VOlt
50 CENTS A PACKAGE
Dr. W. Ross Writes:
Scrofula. liver Complaint, Dyspepsia
Khousnaisan, Weakness.
Ii. R. STEVNs. Boston:
I have been practistng medicine for 25 years
and at a remedy tor scrotuta. Liver Complaint,
iVspepsia, (heunmt. In, Weakcs3, and till dis.
eilt-s of t ie blood I h ieve never [outd its equal,
I have sold veg.-t ine for T years, and have nover
had one butt:e return- d I would heartily re.
votnmend it to th -se in need of a blood puriflur
Dr. W. itOss, Drugjla,
Sept.. is, lSTS. Wilon Iowa.
VEGETINE.
One Package in Powder Form
Cured Scrofula.
low to teduce Your Doctors' Bills
s BnEnsN St., East 31s'on, Moam..
MR TI. It. ST.VRNS: September 80, 1879.
Dear Sir: My little daughter Stelia has been
aflitered a 1 a Lima with * 'rofula. suffering
eve-ry'h:ncr. I emttploy"d.dtffer.-nt nhysicians In
Rat Boston tun the.y he'ned her none. I be ;alt
some of your Iowuxu Fousn VEowrtsa, and my
wite steeped It and gave it '0 the chIld actorlt.
In r to the direction !, and we were surprised in
a forttilght, titne to see how the olild had
V alned In ilesh and stre-g h. She Is now galn
Ing .very day. and I can cheeriu ly reco nmend
your retedy to be the bear, we have ever tried.
Respectfully yours, J. Tr. WEBB.
VEGETINE
PIEPARED BY
II. R. STEVENS, Boston, Mass.
Vegetine is Sold by All Druggists.
AGENTS WANTED 22 2
4".1tnpiete and authotttic history of the givat tour o
GRANT AROUND 0 WORL
t deecrlbes Rora l Palaces. Rare Ourloalties, wealth
atnit Wouedera of the Indies, China. Jnpan, etc. A
mllion eupoie want It. T is Iethe best chatnce of
)"ttr life to tanke uottey. h.'ware o'f "cateb-penny"~
initatiot.. Price only 63.00. send for crcutiats
anid terme to Aoent,. Address
NATONAL PUBLISHIN6 Co.. Philadelphia.
Stirdivall's Grcat Gatarrlh Remeldy
Tte rae' en sIreabe o ns eI cetal rmd iy
Irvin whatl cause, or how long stanmdag. by giving
STURDIVANT'S CATARR REMEDY
asfair antd imp-ertial tri.i,. you will be convInced of
lit e. by is t c elinI very - iasani tor aun
r i egtn.aby 10LowAY iS C0., 602 ArcE
~~ IF YOU wOULD lBE PROPERL'
oorrspon tosuited with spetacies, apply I
DR. N. C. GRAY Toptietan,
28 N. TW ELFTI!Street,
Philadelpulia, Pa,
DIPHTHERIA!!I
Johnson's Anodyne Liniment will pc.
tiveil pevent this terrible disease, and wll
SpsitIvely cure nIne ca.ses in ten. Infromnation
that will save many lives sent free by mail.
Don't delay a moment. 'Prevention it better
than cure. Sold everywhere.
I. B. JOHNBON & CO., Bangos, Ho.
Those answermng an aatvertisemnt will
conte, a favor uponm the adlvertiseer andt the
pubiher by stating that they saw the adver
tiaseazent In this journal (namning the paper.)
LANDRIITWS' 8lllD
ARlE THE ilsT
0. IA5DR.ETB & BONS. 91 & 18 8. SIXTB 8t,
PHIUADBraPHIA.
-..r. IIerce's Golden Miedical DIscovery eur
commoat Blotch, Pipe, or enupion, Ery
Eo h Skin, In ahort, all diseasies eausehi,
puir!ving, ande Invigor.atIn metdlcin. n
eles, gore Eyes, Screofuleus Bores asndt we
Week, andi Enlarged EJiands.
If you feel duill, drows, diehilitated, have
-en face or body, frequ,ent hadache or dizzino
alternated will hot iilushes, i-regular appceti I
Torid Liver, or "Bliliousness.". As a rom
I hctcal Discovery haa mn eu mi, as it efrect.s
In the cure of Brench Is,Severe cong
snmption, it has astonileed the medlcal fact:
Sgreatesit medical discovery of tie age. Sold b;
No usc of tal
\ Pellets (Little
- " \y (Q ecse.
t- k N em, diet,
Tightness of
QTheratte Gint" sthregonah Baf
nserted in ANY OR ATM of the 3
toryv for ONE TIMlE, or for
positions, which are oar
LOWEfbT PRIOE
8. M. PE TT EP
at either of ti
ESTIMATI
Por Audvertisers wi thout charge, for
TION of News pap ers, or fbI
ANY 0ity, Town,
Adv'ertisemeuts in the Best Posit
70e : .::ETE
A Musical Library.
DITON a CO. from time to time gather to
g."ts.r their bod", oinst tttmoat euccossIunudom pop
ulair pfcur of nut-lo, "t"d b I it to it hiandsotnt
v lutni s of froit 2tq) ht 20O pngeos, Shmoot lliusloe
Thtro art, n.tw 3l books of tht, tirliee Cuollecively,
theyi t-tht i"nrly aly thno really godsh ot utu.I
ovee t ubliMttodl. S^.pagntt lr ut.nal.lt"ru. t och btuk
is in-"otendoent of the oh ., ra d h .Is tho 1 ost ings
or t it"s o* its kind. Thr very noderatocostoouw.
mouds them.
Prico In Boards. 82.C0; Cloth, 62 00; Gilt, $3.00
The following are the VOCAL books only.
Nunsaine of Mon. 68popular Songs..
Vorld of Song. 9.1 Simon. (reat variety.
4ieants of Ettgstals Song. 79 Songs. -N4w book.
houtselold Me oli.'m. 2 vols. 147 Songs.
M2or0's Irialt Meloties. IOU famous irs.
Silver Clsord. t Koui.
tGens o'4,lertunns Song. 100 Otrman Gems.
"' Meottsha - 16.1 Scottih Gems.
'" Snored " 110 of tl:e best.
Siower or Penr;s. 02 capital 1luets.
Wrenth of 4ienas. 95 Soug-. quile varied.
Silver WVsetiah. 00 Songs. fluts and Ta los.
O4serntle PenrlE. 92 Favorite Otera Songs.
ltuleni Treasare. Votl and Instrumental
Any book matled, post-free, for above priseos.
Oliver Ditson & Co., Boston.
J. R. D1TSON & 00. WS' Chestnut St.. Phil.
CHAS. G. BLATCHLEY,
Manufacturer of
BLATCHLEY'9
STANDARD PUMPS.
Occupies Jan. lt,
THE SPACIOUt1 WARI>;OOMS.
308 MARKET btreet,
S41PHILADELPHIA.
Stock the .rgeat, aesortment the mOst com.
pleto. faelliltle of every kind the boat in the
count.ry. P'repred at the shorto t nolt e to
meet the wanta of our customers for all dep hi
of wells and to give complete satlisfaetton.
Pumps plain. Galvanir.ed Iron. Poroclain or Cop.
perl fnod. Mills, (Iratton. W. oVa.
Rarertn' celebrated 8ingla Broech-loading Shot
iu at Ois it . Dounbtebarr4i fireeo 1oati at
$20 imP. Sittmai t anid Itret,otrl ,nidtqq: Ouuis NIlSes
and I stole it most appro.rt Itnglish ao4 AvnerMs
makes. All kinds of sportit impi ents a arti
oi s requlrd by tporl ttn au N tn.t
( 0. ' Nh11V UIltltU. LOAItIN~ DO) 1L
GUNS at. r0 up-tme best gnus ye; wade for lbs
price. Pr ice on aipplicatutm.
JOS. C. GRUBB & CO.,
712 Market St., Philada., Pa.
SAPONIFIER
Is the O1 tt'iable noncentrated Lye for FAMILY
for makin llard, Soft mid ToiletSoap Qulcaly.
It Is til w ghtf,l aitr n.tth.
A.reKI FO[, tiAPON IImm ,
A\IN 'lAKE No OTlit.
PENN'A SALT MANU'O CO., PHILAD'A
-* a.g
AREIEfWIhNO N INC
RETAIN THI HEAT LONBE
NOT B IN H
, N B'T
NBUT Y 0
/s al uoN rr h os oeuat
as al alt-mrhe , ev e wrs orea t ealyo
r dlo,aecnurdby this powerful,
ettring Tetter, Rose Raahh, Boils, Carban.
1lings, Wlhte Sweiligs, tieltro 0O' Thaick
allow color of skin, or yeliowish-brown spots
is, bad taste in mouth, Internal hoat or o illi
. andi tongito coatedi, you are stnl'oring from
nedy fo oi atucl oase Dr. 'lerco's Golden
is, Weak lungs, and eatiy stages of Cos.
Iyranti eminent physiolans pronounce it the
ing the large, reputlsive, nausons pills. These
Pils) re earelylarger thsan maustard
ely vegetable, no Wartloular esat.e reottred
em. 'They operato vIitout diIsturbance to the~
ar occuptitton. For ,laundice, lleadaohe.
,IEnpure Blood4, Pain In the Shoulders,
Clhest, IPizsines Mear Fructationh. ronm
Taste in Uloutla, Bilious attacks, Pate It
dauays, lntenal Fever llloated feing
m Drt. Piere's leasant bufrgative Pe eta.
3UhnE'.L AiWnc*mOI. Press. nrata. It..
SEMENTS
nesae s navned in bhe Ul-os
ONE YEARin the best
afully watohecd, at the
B, on appiliation to
ICUL L &, 00.,
olr offioes in
E.S MA DE
Insertion In r. Off10E SE LEO
'the BEST liewspapere In
Sounty or Beetion,
lens, at Very Reasenabi, Iates.
[GILL & CO.
b2Feeb'gL *EB'a 4 a
HEALTH IS WEALTH.
Health of Body Is Wealth of Yind,
lldafl Sarapal'llllan Resov1it
, Pure blood makes sound desh, strong bone an
a osear skin. If you would have your flesh arm,
yenr bones sound without carles, and your co'n
plexlon fair, use Itdway's Rrsapariir
Reool ent. . *
A QtATEFUL RECOGNITION
"To Oure a cNRONIO or LIotl STANDING DISIAS
Is truly a victory In the healing art.; that reason
lug power that clearly discerns DFETor and sup
plies a remedy; that restores step by stvp-by
degrees-the body which has been slowly at
tacked and weakened by an Insidious disease,
not only commands our respect but deserves
our gratitude. Dr. Railway has turnished man
kind withl that wonderful remedy, ltadway's
Baron pariIlian Resolvent. which auooa.
plishes thiv result, and suffering huntanity,
who drag out an existence of pain aid disease.
through long days and long nighta, owe him
their gratitudo."-Meudat Mess.ngtr.
FALSE AND TRUE.
We extract from Dr. Radway's "Treatise of
disease and Its Cure," as follows:
List of Diseases Cured by
Radway's Sarsaparillian Resolvent.
Chronto Skin Diseases, Caries of the Bone
Humors in the Blood, Scrofulous Dies -ses. Bed
or unnatural Habit of Body, Syphilis and Vene
real, Fever Sores, Chronic or old Ulcers, Salt
Rheum, Rickets, White Swelling, Scal' Ilead,
Uterine AIf,ctlons, Cankers (la'lular Swell
ings, Nodes, Wasting and Ieuly of the Body,
Pimples and Blotches Tumors, Dyspep,ta. Kid
ney and Bladder Diseases Chronic lih umatlsm
and Gout, Uunsumptlon, brtvel and Calculous
Deposits, and varietIes of the abov complaints
to which sometimes aro given specious names.
We assort that there is no known remedy that
possesses the eurative power over these dia.
oases th 't IADwAT's IfEsoLvsNT furnishes. It
cures, step by step, surely, from the founda
tion, and yestores the injured parts to their
sound condition. 'Th6 wastas of the body
are stopped and healthy blood is sup
plied to the "ysteta, from which 1low na
terial i. formed. Tt,is is the fisst corrective
p)%wer of ItADWAY's RESOLVENT. In oases whore
the system has been >alivated and Meretry,
Quicksilver, (korrosive Sitblmato have accumu
lated and become deposit od In the bones, joints
eto., causing caries or i lie bones, rlckos, soinal
vurvaturns, cont,rtion, whito sweling i, varl
eose veins, etc.. the AnsAr.AAtRLLt+N will resolve
away those deposits an t exterminate the virus
Of the disease from the system.
If thoso who are taking th-se medicines for
the oure of Chronic. Her'tulous or Sy,philitio die
eases, however slow tmty b t the cure, "toel bet
ter," and find their goral health improving,
their floih and weight Increasing, or even keep
tug its own, is a sure sign that the cure is pro
gressing. In these dioases the patient either
EEoti butter or worse-the virus or the diseas"
Is not Inactive; if not arrested and driven fre
the blood it wilt spread and continue to undoo
mine the constttition. As soon as the SARBA
PARuLLAN make the pa'tent ''fe'el be' ter," every
hour you will grow botter and increase in health,
strength and fesh.
OVARIAN TUMORS.
The removal of these tumors by RArwAr's
RTsoLVNT Is now so certainly estabuslhed that
whit was duco -o 'sidered alto -t miRltculous s
now a coumon rccognlz d f tot by all partires.
Witne a the case-4 of dannah P. Kn tpp. Mrs. 0.
KApf. Mrs. J. U. Jolly and Mrs. P. D. Hendrix
ubtlahe 1 in our Almanao for 1879; also that of
rs. t. 1. Bibbins, tn the present edition of our
SFalse and True."
One Dollar per Bottle.
MINUTE REMEDY.
Only requires minutes, not hours, to relieve
pain and oure acute disease.
Raday's Ready Relief,
In from one to t.wentt minutes, never falls to
relieve PAIN with 'ne thorough applio -tion.
No matter how viol'ut or excruvlat'ng the rain
the HH1UM VTIC, W.d-riddon, Infirm. Crippled,
Nervous. Neuralgle, or p ostr ,t'd with disea-te
may sufter, RADWAY'i RIADY RELIlEF will
afford instant ease.
Intiammation of the Kidneyn, Inflatnma
tion of the Hladdor, Itintanmation of the
Bowels, Cons,tion of the. I.unga, Sore
Throat, I)IMoiult Breathing, P'alpit.atlou of
the Heart, ilyateriae, Croup, liplistterla,
Catarrh, Ineanzaa, ieedache, Titothathe,
Neuralgia, lthsousuatism, Cold Oihn'ls,
Aguo Chlla, Chibhai'us, Frost Bites,
Brul ses. unnser Oosuptlnta, Coughs,
Cold, spraIns. Pains In lte Chest, Back or
Llanos, are unstantly relieved.
FEVER AND AGUE.
Fever and Agu~e cured for Flft.y Cents. There
Is not a remedial agent In t he world'that will
cutre Fever and Ague, and all othnr Maiarious,
Bilious, Scariet,, 'lyphold, Yellow and ot,ber
levers (aid 'd by Raew&v's Piu.s) so quack as
RADwAT's RBADY RI*.
It will ins a ew momnenls, when-tiken accord
ing to directIons, cure Crimps, liptas Sour
Stomach, ileartburn, Sick iHeadasshe. Diarrhwt
Dysentery', Collc, Wlid in the. Bowels, and alL
Internal Pains.
Travelers should always carry a bottle of R A -
WAY 5 READY RRLInFY ii them. A few drops
in waror will provent sickness or pa'ns from
change of water. It is better than French
bran -l or DItters as a stimulant.
Eiersm Suat Lunanbermnen should always
be provided with it.
CAUTION.,
All remedial agetnts capele of destroyi ngllie
by an overdo e shouldl he avoided. Morphine.
oDlunm, st.ychnne, arnica, Ihyoscimus, and
ether powerful remedies, does at, certain times.
in very smalgioseu, relieve the putient during
their act,ion 1. the system. hut perhaps the
second dose, if repeated, nmay agstravate and in
erease thte stifferl. g, and anot,her dose cause
death. There is no neoessity for using these
uncertain agents when a positiv t einody like
RAD-way's BADY iCttai will stop the most 0e.
eruciatt og pal rf quicker, withtout entailing the
least dtiiulty iti either infant or adult,.
'TRE TRUE ESELlEP.
RAIwAY's RmADYv lisaur Is the only remedial
agent In vogue that will instantly stop pain.
Witt Cents per Bottle.
Radway's Regulating Pills.
Perfeet Purgatives, Bootthing Apesri.
ents, Ace Witimeent Pain, Alwa.s stelia
ble andt Natural in stheir Operationa.
A VEGBTABLE SUBSTITlUTE FOil CALOMEL,
Perfectly tasteless, elegantly coated with
weetr g purge, rsguato, purify, cleanse
RtADwAY's IttL, 'fr the cure of all disorders
of the Ij.oma,:h, i.ives, Btowels Kidneys. id
der. Nervous D).seases, Ileada lie, ConstiDaBin
iCOstivenerts, IndIgestion, D)yspepsia,. ilos
nrsa. Fever, Inflammation of the Bowels Ples,
and all derangemont,s of t,he Int.ernal ficr'
Warranted to effect a perfect cure Purely veg
etabe, contaig nao mercury, mainerals or del
IW'Observe the following symptoms result.
In from D)isoases of the Digestive Organs' Con
stiatlon, Inward Pli-s, Fullness of the "Blood
in5h9 Head. Acidit-y of the Stomach, N(ausea
Hlerttburn, Disgust o.f Food, Fullness or tfi~ght
In the Stomaolh. Sour Elruota ions, Sinking or
Flutteilng at the Heart Chokinir or Suffering
8 'neations when in a l1in Dosture, Dimness of
Vision, Doete or Webs beore tihe'Birht, Fever
and Dull Pa4n in the Bead, DelicienoY of Per
ipiration. Yeliowness of the Skin and Eyes. PAin
in the Side, Chest, Limits, and Sudden Flushes
of Heat, Burning tn the Flesh.
A few doses or R AswAY's PILSt will'ifree the
System from all the above-nameot disorders,
Pis-ce, 25 Cents per Bom.
801,D) By DRtUGGISTi
READ "FALSE AND TRUE."t
Send a letter stsamp to RA DWA Y *'0o.
No. SB WARR EtN, cor, CIRURCU St-, New York.'
Informat,ion worth thousands wi be mentiou.
H OW TO BE For Bn*In*a-aten.a.
YOUR OWN In-"roprl 0s'
LA&WYE R~ ;vrvnIes,."'hl'
euceess. Onee as,ent soid tOl in not I ti, ahr
Nares en liacie. Mio othier like at .
Agent. Wanted. Send for- cireular. and terms.
1% W. 3iKfJLEiI A (10..
10010 A 110H1 Biret, PhIladelphia, i'a,
FARMER'S FRIEND & GUIDE.
wr5 itofed y I ehs. rom elm 'pes 01 jse best
-rle,r,ek lIre, ote interestq cav i
sly s.C.,,d., s ied. r ice
5 eeaein Ya
Re d- ta d
v m. 0t 5