The ledger. [volume] (Gaffney City, S.C.) 1896-1907, June 25, 1896, Image 3
'THE LEDGER: GAFFNEY, S. C., JUNE 25, 1896.
‘SIXTEEN TO ONE.”
"Malnoat Thing" in the
frOcky Crook Settlomont
lower of rnHlilon ITlio nought
hen New Itrldlr* to One I'oor
lOWl Mule - filer Kerogsln*
Wnntcd to Move. ,
B
jnalm'Pt tiling with the jicople
(in tho Eocky Creek regions this
year is the great
and growin ques
tion of sixteen to
one. And that
aint all by a
whole tremendius
big lot. If there
Ls anything you
don't know and
» tx would love to
\ find out in re-
gards to gold or
silver or greeri-
backs, all you
odo is to pack your wallet and
ct -n Into the most loveliest strip
o4y in the round created world
Mid mingle around amongst
and live and listen and learn.
then, low and behold! be had dug six
teen graves for that one dead baby girl.
It is a real sad ease if you think about
It right sober like and serious, but, ac-
cordin to old man Connerway’s present
plans of government and money, and
polities and religion, and life and death,
everything in the whole diseovered
world must stack tip and fill in and
match out at the rates of sixteen to one.
rwK -V-K
Old Git” Sanders Now.
for me, all I know—and you
eai your side whiskers mid your
Snoots I do know that for cer-
ta tint at our house we most In
ge always have about sixteen
wcme dollar. And it rnley makes
bu • little diiTerenee with me
wilt comes in gold or silver or
poping as the feed bills and the
stofunt stack up agin us at the
ratixteen to one. What shall we
weit shall we eat, what shall we
drifl wherewithal will wc roise
thetary coinage—that covers nil
thed for me.
S r, of course, I don’t put my
us anybody’s prayer book,
iln’t no laws of eoiupellmcnt
m believe everything I write
Hut 1 will bet sixteen good
inuipne blind steer that I have
to g*ul git more reglar and fre-
que j any livin man in 17 stntce
and iries. Every time 1 go to
towi laddy git this, and Rufus git
that :ufe git somethin else. Con-
sequ I have now took anti
dim y maiden name from Rufus
On my return back borne
no I went to town, when I
j) I called mother and the
t to t.hc wagon to help me
produeements, and then I
■ new name and laid down
Ind 1 wouldn’t be plum
honest if I didn’t own up to
used more plain United
ptatc uage than 1’iblc words by
een to one.
seven stars and the Milky
I to mother and the rlsin
>t the Sanders nice, “don’t
call i dy and don’t call me Rufus
and < all me Eufe any more. Dad
blair.fhat ain’t my name nohow,
give me a name that wil|
i and je»st call me Old Git
A “Close Call” for ScroRiflns.
At the last regular meetin of the
Rocky Creek Farmers’ club lllev Scrog-;
pins—which,you understand,lllev talks
a whole passe! sometimes jest simply
because the good Lord, in the wisdom of
His grace and mercy, give him some
thing to talk with—Rlov he spit it out
nahisprivate opinions in tbeConncrwny
case that when the old man went crazy
he didn’t have no very dura long jour
ney to make. “The maincst trouble
with the old man,” says Blev, “was
about sixteen ounces of skull to one
spoonful of brains.”
Of course, that is none of my business,
and it wouldn’t be. right for me to say
whether lllev was right or wrong in a
general way. But there was two of
the Connerway boys in the meetin, nndi
It took some monstrous fast and fancy
work to keep down the sheddin of hu
man blood and stave off n second-class
funeral In the settlement.
You will take notice that my friend
pud fellow-citizen, Blev Scroggins, ain’t
pa sixteen to one free silver man. lie
don’t even sorter half way make out like
he 1», and since the cards have been run*
nlu the other way like a shot, Blev has
got bis bristles up considerable, lie
give It out in a crowd over at Cool
Springs church on the last meetin day
that he was goin to yoke up his oxen
and pack his wagon and move off down
into the cow country amongst the gall-
berry thickets and sec if he couldn’t
find a little patch of earth where every*
body hadn’t went crazy for free silver
at sixteen to one, 1 reckon, though,
that Blev was only talkin that day to
see how his voice would sound through
his new straw hat. At any rates, 1 don’t
know where he would go to find that
"little patch of earth" which he is look-
in for.
hew s Milligan is now out ns
r candidate for the legisla
te told me the otlier clay if
light’—which he thinks he
Will i majority of somethin like
sixtec! one he will work pp obd
pass ijto make my new name Mink,
pm to one" Connerwny.
Butne write and tell you, white
pcopUt old man Matthew Conncr-
wny—teen to One,” as everybody
calls jiow—is way yonder the hap
piest HI as the most, craziest mor
tal in pc* regions round ul>out Rocky
Creek summer. He lives right over
there (he hill country, and for t he^
last tj years every day and every
hour, or cold, hot or dry, at home
or nhi lu sickness or in health—he
has b^rcftchin forth the doctrine of
free* slat the rates of sixteen toono.
Minin, now, old man Connerway
nlnt jonlyrst sixteen to one free
silverpt In the settlement. You
WbuhJc to burn the. woods and sift
thg a! to find sixteen men around
here taint preachln from the same
text <figlitin under the same flag.
But It ■ main time when “Sixteen to
pop" (nenvuy caught the <ksrn.se he
onugli tremendius bad ease of it.
And pt was worse and still more
of it,put the same time he was took
downth a right hard spoil of runnin
oil ate mouth. lie went forth into
the hwayhuml the hedges and talked
free* c-r nj sixteen to one so rapid
nnd sons font, and preached the same
old from the same text over
line’ *r nnd over till now bless gra-
eioufle lias went slap kerelab crazy
on 1 (question. He belt up under the
strniright tolerable well till late
alonin the spring, when It come to
pnsWhnt. free silver was the winnin
onreP around, and then it would seem
likene old man couldn’t stand It no
Ion f. His head goarius jumped a cog,
sorH’in broke, and henceforwards
nffi that “Sixtee*n to One” Connerway
li.'ii|>ce*u n stnndin candidate for the
Cny Si loom.
'J show you what a furious bn/1 case
of j the old man has got, the next clay
aftd we got the news that Tennessee
line Went o windin for free silver he
w< t to town, nnd I am oil sorts of a
linilf he didn't put In nnd tqi}' sixteen
nr* bridles for one poor old mule. 4
Jo4< particular notice of the old roan
ns he rid by our house on his returi^
l>ark home that evenln, and from peui-
eril opp-nrinents I would jidge that
he hod bit off about sixteen plugs of
w jite whisky in one day.
jlcre week before last Luke Conner*
wty's girl baby—which Luke and his
wife they live in the house with old
"Sixteen to One,” and they had three
boys to only one girl—she took sick
with the* slow fever nnd died. And
whilst nobody would of thought it, the
old man got up the next niornin at first
daybreak and took his spade and lit out
and went over to the old Kbenezer
graveyard. It was way up into the day
before his folks could find him, amk
PITY FOR THE POOR.
Arp Speaks of tho Public Tndlffor*
onco for the Suffering 1’oor.
Says tho Public Do Not Neo. Else There
Would Do Help —Mr. HurCel’#
“UsIIKTh Sale”—Condition
of Convicts.
“No Slch n Place on Eiirth.“
That puts me in mind of .Josh May
nard and the way in which he got
wound up when the democratic cyclone
etruck this country—along in the fall
of 1802, if I don't remember wrong.
You see .Tosh Maynard ho lives up
there in one of the mountain counties of
North Alabama dost to the Tennessee
line. For years nnd years he had been
fci’rvin the jiooplc and the state as high
Constable of Stump Hill Beat, nnd sipee
way finek there before the war the re
publicans had been bavin their own
way in Stump Hill by a round and safe
majority. But in that election the
democratic flag floated in triumph over
all fhc ground from the mountaips to
(hp wiregrass country. Stump Hill
smashed the records and swung over
Into the jleroocrntic columns. Conse
quentially when thestonn waspverand
(he smoke cleared away John Urank
Adkins, a little red-headed school
teacher, nnd a screnmin democrat,
v-ns high constable of Btump Hill
J»ea^ and if there ever was a man which
had tho livin sod<s bent off of him Josh
Maynard went homo barefooted that
P'ffbt:
Anyhow Josh went home foam In,
furious mad, and give It out that be was
then ready to move his washin right
away immediately, and sooner than
that if possible.
"Tear down and pack up, Miss
Grade,” says Josh to his wife, “for to
morrow we will move and shake the
dust of Stump Hill from our feet for
ever. For the first time since the bat
tle of New Orleans were fit Stump Hill
Beat has gone devil bent for the demo
crats and the old flag trails in the dust
of desolation and defeat. By hokoy 1
can’t liv eand raise our children in sich
a lost and mint country. I jist simply
can’t stand it, nnd I’ll be dad burned if
I don’t move off somewhercs else and
/ind some spot where freedom still lives
And tlte people ain’t all fools.”
Then Josh he got on his horse nnd rid
over to the railroad station to hear the
c|ection news, thinkin he mought may
be stand the pain somewhat better if
|ie popld hut only hear from a few
]>oints where the republicans had belt
their ground and whipped the figdit
But all the news that come was set to
democratic music, nnd from what Josh
could hear and pick up it looked to him
like the democrats hud swept the earth
n.s with a new broom. So presently he
remounted apd rid on back towards
hone. In the main time Miss Oracle she
was tearin down nnd paekin up to beat
six bits.
“Wait, Miss Grade, don’t do that,"
says Josh, ns he come In and found his
wife turnin the clothes chest wrong
side out,
"What in the name of sense is the
matter with you, Josh?” says Miss
Gracie. “Didn’t you tell me to tear
down and pack up and we would move
off somewhercs else to a spot where
evrything ain’t gone devil bent for
the democrats?”
*1 hat 8 what I said, but I reckon we
mought as well to live and die in Stump
Hill Bent," responded Josh. “I would
love to move, Miss Gracie, but, dnc|
blame it, there is no sich a place on
earth” M
Owln to hod seasons there is a right
smart talk around amongst the farm
ers to the extent that corn has l»een
overshootin. Andy Luca/* says his corn
must of overshot itself, cause if it shot
at all it “missed the whole dura field.”
But in the main time our Aunt Nancy
Newton she ain’t gone nowheres. 8he
has sent word by Andrew Jim Hint
she will try nnd git In amongst us one
day next week, fly bonnet, old pipe,
thank}' hag and all.
RUFUg HANDKltS.
Gather 10,000 of Hie threads spun by
a full-grown spider, twist them together
and see if they equal in subsistence the
size of oae of your hairs.
If Gordon Noel Ilurtel never writes
anything more, “The Bailiff's Kale,” is
sufficient to draw love aud praise from
all good people. It has kindled a kindly
feeling toward him, and what is better,
it has warmed our pity and enlisted our
sympathy for the suffering poor. How
easy it is for hearts to get hard and
charity to grow' cold. The sale of the
poor tenant’s household goods to pay
the landlord’s rent is a muehmore com
mon thing than is supposed. The pic
ture is not overdrawn. If it is not sold
by the •jnr-table it is by the auctioneer.
I never pass an auction sale of old
furniture but what I linger and look
and ponder. There is an unwritten
chapter of want and misery In every old
bureau and sofa and chair. There arc
hearts aching somewhere. There Is sad
ness under some roof. If the sale paid the
debt there would be some comfort, but
the costs of court, the drayage and com
mission taken about all—for, ns Mr.
Ilurtel says:
“Such worthless old rubbish will go for a
rong.”
“Alas! for the rarity of Christian
charity,” when the bereaved mother has
to spend her last quarter to buy in her
dead baby’s chair. If ’hat did not real
ly happen, something akin to it is hap
pening every day In our crowded cities.
What we see when we visit them is only
the sunshine and glitter that wealth
has brought to the favored few. We
walk or ride on Peachtree and wonder
and admire, but who seeks the dark al
leys where the poor congregate? Judge
Bleckley wrote a beautiful poem, called
“A Tale of Two Cities—the City of Life
and the City of Death”—Atlanta and its
cemetery; and his contrast between
their inhabitants is wonderfully
graphic nnd true. But there is a more
pathetic contrast between the very rich
and the very poor in every crowded me
tropolis. Sometimes wc condone our
neglect of poverty nnd suffe ring by say
ing they arc not worth befriending—
they are ungrateful—they brought their
misery upon themselves—or, if you feed
them and set them up for to-day they
will want more to-morrow. Some folks
say that private charity is against pub
lic policy, but piy experience nnd pht
nervation is that the beat way to quie^
our consciences is to help them—give
help in some way. There are a few pro
fessional beggars, but not enough to
impoverish anybody in this southern
country. But those who are really poor
nnd do actually suffer for good shelter,
good food and comfortable clothing arc
many end afo. increasing in numbers
every day.
My wife cut out those touching verses
about fho bailiff’s sale and says they re
mind her of Tom Hood’s “Song of tho
Shirt."
“Oh, for one short hour
To feel as I used to feel,
Before I knew the woes of want,
Or the work that costs a meal.”
That “Song of the Shirt" awakened
all London to the sufferings of poor
women, and it has eoroe down to us
along the corridors of time and quick
ened our sympathies and enlarged our
charities. Oh, that our rich people
would sometimes read it nnd drop a
tear of sympathy and then go out into
the byways and do something for hu
manity’s sake. Rockefeller is a great
philanthropist in his way, but George
Peabody will outrank him in theannaD
of history nnd the judgment of Heaven
Why does not some multi-millionaire
follow his example nnd provide cheap
homes for the poor of our cities? 1 have
heard it said that it was Tom Hood’s
poem that first inspired him to build
cheap lodgings for the jioor of London
His plans for so doing w ere not carried
on* for several years, buPhc could not
erase from his memory the lines:
“That shattered roof—this naked flooi,
A table—a broken chair.
And a wall so blank my shadow I thank
For sometimes falling there."
He spent three millions on these lodg
ing houses, and they nre still a comfort
to the thousands whe occupy them.
Human nature Is not so mean and self
ish ns it is thoughtless nnd forgetful.
Our best emotions need reminder/.
Every now nnd then a pathetic picture
must lie draw n, a tender poem must lie
written. We must sec the poor woman
with the faded shawl
“As she wipes with Us fringes a tear >.om
her eye.”
Many a man has pity in his breast ami
charity in his heart, but it slumbers be
cause it does not see ’he misery of the
unfortunate. Poverty shrinks from the
public gaze. It hides itself nnd suffers
and waits, and hence we see large sums
of money gathered in the churches to be
sept to those afar off, when there h
more need of It at home. Starving peo
ple do not go to church, nor will they gp
hnlf-clad in pnseomly garments. The
best religion languishes from hunger
and cold. True charity must huntfjr
distress nnd relieve it.
This reminds me of the convicts nnd
their pitiless condition. Most of them
deserve their fate, hut among the 3,0(>Q|
there are some ivho have expiated their
pffenset nnd ought to be set free. The
fourts make mistakes sometimes, nnd
uq doubt there are many convicts pay
ing penalties they do not owe. There
Is pot a more helpless creature up. n
fnrth than a frlepdiess convict’, and we
rejoice that Gov. Atkinson ami the com
mittee are making a searching exami
nation. The governor told me of a
negro l>oy who had s<yved nine years
ami had 11 more to serve. lie went in
a boy of 15, charged with arson, nnd
now it appears most clearly that he wan
not guilty, and it could have been so
proved, but the witness, u substnn’ia!
citizen, lived out of the state and his
evidence could not !»»• had. The l>oy was
convicted on circumstantial evidence.
The governor has affidavits that, place
the innocence of this negro beyond all
dou^t, and of course he has set at
liberty. lie has shortened the terms
of a great many, and his consideration
for those who have behaved well re
ceives unusual commendation.
Reform is said to Ire one of the ob
jects of punishment, and if tlu* criminal
lias really repented and reformed he
should be given another chance.
My wife was commenting on that
little chair that was the poor mother’s
token of her dead child, and that re
minded her of a little workstand that
the Yankees took from her and carried
off. It was a beauty and was made
specially for her 24th birthday, and she
lamented its loss ail these years. Forty
more years have passed, and now she
has another birthday, and all that l
had to give her was r morning kiss on
her brow and a white rose in her raven
hair nnd to wish her long life nnd hap
piness and that her last days might be
her best days. God grant that no af
fliction or calamity may befall her!
Her absent boys wrote her loving let
ters, aud as she rend them she said: “I
Knew they would not forget their poor
old mother.” "Poor!” said I. “You
nre not poor. You are fat nnd you nre
rich in your posterity, nnd you are not
old—not near as old as I am. Why not
say their rich and lively and well-pre
served mother?” But numerous grand
children and more coming does make
an ancient matron feel old, especially
If she had to piny runngre from the
fowl invaders and carry half a dozen
little helpless children with her during
a long and cruel war. Those four years
ought to count ton in the calendar of z,
mother’s age.—Bill Arp, in Atlanta Con
stitution.
MONTE CARLO BLACKMAILERS.
RATS TO YOUR HOLES.
Sam Jones Sounds a Koto of
TImoly Warning.
Speaks of the Troublous Times That Have
Come Upon Us—There Is m ((right
Side to the Ficture—Evening
Things Up.
Keepers of tho Gambling Resort Fre
quently Victimized by Klmrpcr*.
According to the balance sheet is
sue.! by the great gambling company
of Monte Carlo, the fortune* of that
world-famous resort are on the wane.
From paying a heavy and steadily ad
vancing dividend, the directors have
had to take a step backward and cur
tail the annual pickings of the stock
holders. One cause for this is that
the players have not made such mad
plunges as of yore. The men who lose
a fortune in a single day over the
gambling tables have become rather a
rarity at Monte Carlo, while the players
w ho go in for a steady game and stop
when they have lost so much money
have dropped off considerably. To their
dismay the direotors discovered when
piaking out tRo bounce-sheets for the
jast year that jpstead of an increase In
profits the (jquipfltiy’s receipts show a
falling off of $425,000 as compared with
those of the previous year. This deficit
is accounted for to some extent by the
extreme sensitiveness of the Monte
Carlo officials. They prove an easy prey
for the blackmailing fraternity, ns they
will buy off anyone rather than haw 0
stigma attach tq the concern. This U
shown by the fact that In the balance-
sheet the sum of $210,000 appears on
the debit side under the name of “pub
licity," or. In other words, “money paid
to blackmailers."
A goodly proportion of the money is
paid to the enterprising proprietors of
blackmailing newspapers, which arc
printed and published for the express
purpose of attacking Monte Carlo with
a view to obtaining “hush money.”
They make a fierce attack on the
gambling center of the universe in the
lirst issue and keep it up with ever-
increasing virulence until placed on the
“publicity” of the Monte Carlo books
for a comfortable sum, the attack
ceases nnd thereafter the paper is pub
lished or is not published at the sweet
w ill of the proprietor. These pension
ers on the “ ‘ “city" fund are ever
increasing In nmnliers. The game lx
such an easy one that It is impossible
for adventurers to resist it. No wonder,
that the profits at Monte C-nrlq yanisR
Into thin air.
An organized gang of block tea Her*
recently repaired to Monte Carlo for
tho express purpose of taking advan
tage of a bomb scare that was at that
time raging. Placing half a dozen
bogus “infernal" machines under the
walls of one of the chief buildings of
the islapd, where they would be sure
to be found the following morning,
the conspirators awaited developments.
The machines were found, ns intended,
ami an immense, sensation ensued.
While attempt* were being made to
hush up the matter along came the
blackmailers and demanded $5,000, with
a threat to spread the news 01 ll.c “oul-
rage” far nnd wide if payment was re
fused. Report* of an infernal machine
at Monte Carlo would have cleared the
island of visitors in one day. Another
drain on the resources of Monte Carlo
Is the, payment of money to ruined
plnj ers, who might, if not provided with
sufficient funds to take them homo,
commit suicide on the grounds nn<(
cause a world-wide wave of indignntioq
against the gambling institution. Undcf
the head of “The Vaticum,” these pay*
meats foot up in the balance-sheet to
$30,000. Here again the shrewd adven
turer victimizes the directors.
A player will jump up during the
progress of the games, clutch at his
hair, roll his eye* in frenzy, and shout
that he is “ruined!” “That ends it for
me!" he will shriek as he makes a wild
dash for the doer. He is intercepted by
one the officials, who has visions of
the finding of a suicide’s body In the
Monte Carlo grounds. The man Is
soothed, the amount of his losses 1^
Inquired into, nnd fhc result is that the
"ruined ” individual, w ho has probably-
been playing a piild game nnd has lost
little, gets another start In life from the
Monte Carlo funds.
But It is necessary for the Casino
people to protect themselves ns far ns
possible against this class of adven
turers, and so an “army” and a police
force nre maintained, the expense of
supporting which costs the company
$C0,(MK) n year.
With so many shady customers,prey
ing on the great gambling company, it
Is no w onder that the profit*of roulette
nnd trante-et-qunrnnte are not so large
aa the world thinks.—N. Y. Recorder.
—The deadly Indian hug, in which
men wrestle with their eya*.—Holme*.
"These are times to try men’s souls,”
to tost their grit and to determine tho
stuff they nre made of. The man who
can call his soul his own now is too
reckless for a candidate—I mean a
“winning candidate.”
The prohibition party has spliton the
issurs of the day, and the different
wings nre to be known as the broad
gauge and the narrow gauge wings.
The general conference of the Metho
dist Episcopal church is split up into
two factions on the woman question.
The democratic party is split up into,
goldbugs nnd “silver-loons," and will;
no doubt do as the prohibition party:
has already done—put two sets of cnndi-i
dates in the field. The republican party
has some big cracks in it; but the re
publicans are like the Baptists, they are
hard to split. They are counting more
on their candidates than on their plat
form. They unite on sentiment and
ignore principles.
Not only is the political world all out
of whack, but nature seems to have
joined in the general melee. There
have been floods, cyclones, earthquakes,
etc. I passed through St. Louis a few
days ago. 1 have seen many sights,
but I never saw desolation like that,
it would take expert* many weeks to
estimate the loss on both sides of the
river. The city, as 1 saw it, looks like
one or two old roosters who have been
fighting all day—badly disfigured and
muchly done up.
Dr. Talmage says that the devil ns the
"Prince of the river of the air” gets up
these cyclones, but that God directs
them. I don’t know that the devil got
them up; but I know if God directed
them, he would have blown down more
breweries nnd less churches; would
have directed the wind so that the
poor would have suffered les* nnd taken
in more of the nabobs. But I suppose
that Dr, Talmage was guessing or jok
ing, for he knows but little more of the
getter-up of cyclones than the Imlaneo
of us. I cure not who gets them up.
they nre awful things. Fire, air nnd
water, these three essential things to
human life, are the cause of many
deaths and the destruction of millions
of property.
Then, niost pf us poor mortals are
In debt head over' frerl.c-. IVe will soon
he where it will be against ourTViffreats
to pay the principal, and against our"
principle tq pay the Interest. Many are
there now. But I suppose when we get
free silver we will pay our debts. I
know we will if silver is free nnd the
government turns it over to our cred
itors before it falls into our hands. I
had rather risk a working debtor than
a talking debtor. Men talk too much
and work too little. “Talk” is cheap,
but it takes the cash to settle hills.
Then we have trouble iu the social
world. So many men are not pleased
with their wives, and so many wives
are not pleased with their husbands.
Divorce suits have multiplied until I
think it would save time nnd law-suits
If all marriage licenses had divorce
coupons attached, so that when trouble
set in in a home the eounon could be
clipped off and the "One” made “two
again.”
J say these are times that try nmn’s
souls, and not only their souls but their
patience and their pocket nnd their
character. Tho fellow whostandaerert
in his, manhood amid the customs nnd
temptations of these present times is
made of the stuff that stays nnd in-
grediente that abide.
'Jake the industrial worhl: Farming,
they say, don’t pay. Manufacturers say
they are running at a loss. Merchants
say they arc making no money; lawyers
starving. doctors grumbling nnd
preachers fasting—nnd the devil g g-
gling. What’s the matter, nnd what’*
the remedy, are questions we must an
swer soon or we will "hit the grit."
While I write I am touring Illinois,
nnd I find that “Free Silver nnd Altgcld
or Bust” is the popular cry of the people.
And so it goes. Campbell of Ohio, out
for free silver, and (Jen. Grosvenor ad
vising the G. 0. P. that they mus'l not
declare for the single gold standard.
Hill, of New York, using moral suns'on.
McKinley mum as a dead oyster, nnd so
it goes. The whole thing seems to be i»
the fix Pat/thc sailor, got into farming,
lie hod been discharged from service
on the ship and found employment on
a farm and was put. to plowing with a
rhike team, two oxen and a filly in the
lead; nnd ho drove up on a yellow
jacket's pest, nnd in less than no time
tho oxen had turned the yoke and th/
filly had liecome entangled in the har
ness and fallen to the ground still kick
ing. And Pat ran to the house and told
tho boss that the oxen had turned the
yoke, the filly had kicked herself to
death, and t» c. whole thing was drift
ing to destruction nr fast as it could go.
All that comes from looking at one
side of tho tiling. There is another and
a better side. This is n great govern
ment and a great, people. We ran stand
much and endure much and still keep
abend of any other nation on the earth.
The sun. moon and stars keep on In their,
regular courses; seed-time and harvest
still conic nnd go; babies nre item, and
funeral processions move slowly along
us of yore. We con survive nnd do well
if things were n hundred fold worse
than they nre. One or the other of the
great parties will save the country
again this fall. We have survived the
American revolution, the Mexican war
(iixl the civil war. The reign of the
democratic, whig, nnd republican par
ties a hundred years, and the fact that
we still live is proof that as a nation we
nre immortal. We shall live on in
some shape. At the heart the tree is
sound. Only the branches are diseased,
and ns they drop off other limbs will
shoot out from tho grand old trunk,*
nnd this shall Ite the tree of lib
erty forever. Though upon some of
the limbs buzzards and owls light
for a time, still the great masses
will sit under it* shades and en-|
|oy its fruits forever. We shall never|
rome to want as long as seed time and 1
•tarvest comes on those fertile fields ofj
ours and men can bfe found to work
them. We may occasionally have too:
many city dudes nnd too few field hands,,
but the laws of compensations, work ami j
things will regulate themselves if wc’
give them a chance. i
Maybe cyclones and earthquakes, po:j
Utica I and social revolutions arc God’s;
ways of regulating things. The inno-i
cent have always suffered with thej
guilty. Dog Tray got Into bad com-j
pany and “caught It” with tho balaneoj
of the bad dogs. But God has not ut-i
terly abandoned us to our fate. Ucj
still reigns and is doing about the best'
an infinite, wise God can do with the)
gang He is deal'ngwlth.
Even now many of us are happy and
prosperous, while many are miserable
an poor. It's man’s inhumanity to
man that makes countless thousands
mourn. Greed nnd gall on the one,
hand and poverty nnd humility on tho
other hat gotten things out of whack.'
If humanity will come closer together
and man w. ’te more helpful to man,
then we wi.l drive out of the woods
Into the road to happiness and prosper
Ity. We have our spasmodic kindly
spells. Wc will contribute to the suf
ferer* by storm or fire or earthquake,
but we soon f- rget that there arc al
ways sufferer and go on blinded by our
greed an/1 deafened by our gall.
Philanthrope patriotism lives only
In the hearts of the few, while the
greater number nre strangers to kindly
deeds nnd sentiment.
SAM P. JONES.
PHUNZHEIMER’S PHILOSOPHY.
Or*ealsr
for 1
Observation** of s Tcatonto
H 'louion.
Eternal vigilan re is der vny not to got
run ofer py a safety.
Self-conceit is .1 plessing py disguise
in, for dot is vot makes us send der fool-
killer next! door ven he comes to see us,
uin'd it?
Yen you see a m..rried mans vcnrlng
dot suit he Isnight a long time ago ul-
retty yust make ub your mind py
swei t’ings: Eider dare is a new baby
py his house in or his vife has bought a
bisoocle.
Ven you read py dein newsbobers dot
a mans he is a shviudler, und a t’ief,
tind a harumscarums, und a lot of t’ings
yust like dot. it is pfennings to pret
zels dot man vos a candidates for some
polities jobs alretty once.
It is u short lane vot donn'd got no
bisoocle riders on him dose days.
Yen dares a veel dares a vny.
Jf some peoples (loan'd had no neigh
bors irtirtlf-pj: deni next door dey donn'd
i;efer clean houMsi.n der spring times,
ehentlc Anni<\ ain’d if^>
Honesty is der best politic
Ven a mans is running a race lor an
office he chencrnlly is satisfied if he get*
a blare, ain'd it?
Abouid der vorst bisoocle face to be
seen dose days is dot vich your leedle
bov varcs ven you told him he can't hnf
no veel yust yet.
Sometimes dot ostrich dakes hlx;
head by dot sand ouid yust long enough
to Inf at dem udder ostrich vot haf his ;
head in alretty yet.
I haf nodiced dot der difference be
tween a leedle boy und a big mans is dot
each t’inksdc udder is hnfutgall der fun,
if der mountain (loan'd come py Mo
hammed vot’s der matter mit going py
der seashores?
It is a (ong head vot donn’d got
turned py a party vomnns.
Men vot der arc alvays anxious to die
for dare country chenerally Hf py a
ripe old age,ain'd it?
Truth is stranger den fictions, nml
dot is vy so many peoples donn’d speak
to him ns dey pass py.
Shakespeares say dot ein tench of
nature makes dot whole vorld kin, but
It is different ven somepody else vos
touching you, ain’d it?
It la a vise child vot knows his own
ladder on a bisoocle.
Der mans vot he boasts of his leedle
feets donn’t need to say vot a small bend
he hnf alretty.
If ve could see ourselfs yust like ud
der# see ns all dem looking glass mir
rors vould be smashed py smithereens
in, (loan’d it?
To err is human, und to blame it onr
somepodys else, dot is human likewise,
too, alretty,
Efery mans hnf his price, hut mill
#ome mens It is bargain day all der
rile, ferstny?
Dot veel mans he donn’d like a tax on
his bisoocle und he donn’d like a tacks
under his bisoocle, und dare you are,
aid’d it?
Eferyt’ingeomespyhim vot hf vails—
occpt v*n you vait for a big fishes to
bite.—N. Y. World.
Wlttj Ueptlc*.
A well-known writer was asked what
he thought of the recent discussion:
“!* Life Worth Living?" "Ilhink.”b'»
replied, “that it depends on the liver.”
1 hu following story is said to have been
told and enjoyed in London society: A
bright American girl was n guest at a
dinner where several peeresses, natives
of her own country, were present. Her
neighbor said, superciliously; “You
are not used to titles? In the states, I
believe, there is no aristocracy?" “No,”
was the w itty retort, as sir* glanced sig
nificantly around the table, “it take*all
tho money of our millionaires to sup
port yours,’’ No mental gift is more
rare than the ability to make apt and
brilliant replica, nnd nothing is more
dangerous than the effort to make them.
Wit is so far off, and ill-nature always
ro near at hand!—Youth's Companion.
Felling s Mstioganjr Tree.
It is a whole day's task for two men
to fell a mahogany tree. On account of
the spurs which project from the hose
of the trunk a scaffold has to lie erected
nnd the tree cut off uho*e the sp'U
leaving thus u stump of the very
wood from tow tofifimi feet hi
Y. Bun.
*—Bossuet w o* the me
the Roman church eve