The people. (Barnwell C.H., S.C.) 1877-1884, July 05, 1883, Image 4
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
W>AT WB BIND IN TBBA TO BMIUr
OVBR.
i,4.
r JL
h
ABE TOTTB PAROB.
, Burdette, of the Bnrlington Hawktyr,,
firee the following advice and ex*
perienoe: "Fill your home with beauty.
People onght to live in evefy room in
the house. I have built a great many
booses—un paper, and I am at it yel
I would avoid the spars room. It is
cold and damp. There is nothing in a
spare room that will burn. I have often
tried to warm a bed in a spare room, but
always failed; If you have any doubt
about the spam room ask your pastor;
he knows all about it.” .
A LOOSB STHPKXDXB.
Speaking of dress reminds me of
story I once heard about Horace
Greeley. The old Tribune philosopher
was peculiarly senaitive about any ref
erence to his attire, the sloven il^oas of
which would have attracted attention
almost anywhere. On (Hie occasion, just
as he was about leaving the office to at
tend a political lecture, the Albany
cor+cspondent, an old friend whom
Greeley had sent up the river to write
rubbishy letters in order to be out of
the way, entered. His eyes detected
something wrong in the editor’s rear.
“Excuse me, Mr. Greeley," he said
hesitatingly, “but—your suspender is
hanging down l»ek>w your overcoat.
You can’t go out on the street in that
way.**
“ Confound your impudence
sqncaked Horace, with a face as red as
a lobster. “Never you mind my sus
pender. It's a blamed sight better than
your Albany correspondence, anyway. ”
The meddler vanished, utterly anni
hilated.
J HHS WATOdB^iND WAITKI) FOR HIM. „
They were lupoid couple coming East
by the Michigan Central. When the
hrakeman announced, “ Marshall-
twenty minutes for dinner I" they both
left the car and- entered the eating-
house. They had scarcely seated them-
r—«■ wrtvwrBtHfo table 'Iflrftnlhe husband
took out his old-fashioned bull’s-eye
watch, squinted at the time and passed
it to his wife with the remark. ,
“Now, PH cat and you hold the watch,
and if we get left it’ll all be your fault.
Sing Out at the end of eighteen minits.’’
And the good-natured old wife sat
there without eating a monthful and
timed liim while he pitch-forked every-
thing within reach into his stomach.—
Detroit. Free PreHM.
HEROIC TREATMENT.
“ Oh, you Iwtter talk I” exclaimed
Mrs. Smith to her lord and-master, who
was joking her ui>on her “running after
him.” “Ton know you were dead in
love with me, and it was only because I
was afraid you'd sicken and die that I
took compassion on you.” “Well,”-re
plied Smith, “if I did love you bo des
perately, you cured me, dearest. I'll
give yon that credit;but it was the hero-
icest kind of heroic treatment. ”— Koaton
Tranterljyt, , —~
a considerate suicide.
If Col. Bluford is more precise about
one thing than another, it is his razor.
' He is so particular about it that he has
almost come to the conclusion not to al
low himself oven to use it on his own
~ — chin on Sundays. Bluford went off fish
ing a few-weeks ago, and while he w^as
gone his partner, who was also his room
mate, committed suicide. The Colonel
was asked by telegraph to return. He
came back ns fast as he could. Meeting
a friend at the depot, he asked in a voice
husky with emotion : -
“ Is it a fact that my partner has com
mitted suicide ?”
“Yes ; he was buried this morning.”
The blanched face of Bluford became
more blanched than ever. His voice
sounded unnatural as he whispered
hoarsely :
“ How did he dp it?"
“ Morphine,” _
“ Thank Heaven 1 ” cried Bluford fall
ing. “ My razor is safe ; but I might
have known it would be, for George was
one of the moet considerate men. I shall
always revere his memory.”—J'bx's Do-
infft.
WHAT BOTS DID.
There are some queer things aliout
boys. Here is Johnny, the son of ten
der and indulgent parents, who couldn’t
“eat »uy break!ast~Ihe other morning be
cause of what he considered the gross
incompotency of the cook. Nothing
could suit him—the breakfast was cooked
I' tbb much, there was too much saleratus
in the biscuits and he sniffed suspiciously
at the milk, and being assured by his
mother tl\At it^M good, swallowed it un
der protest. Then he went out to play,
it being a holiday, and hunted up some
other spirits like himself, and they
all set out to enjoy themselves. In pur
suance of a plan then and there formed,
one of them went home and got Bridget
to give him some flour; a second vrent to
a neighboring bakery and bought a yeast-
cake, and others contributed salt, butter
- «nd vaiious other articles of the sort that
seemed to them necessary. Then they j
went into a back lot and with a barrel
head for a moulding-1 >oard and a base
ball bat for a rolling-pin, prepared a cer
tain nondescript species of flat cake, into
which they incorporated all the ingredi
ents which they had managed to pur
chase, borrow or steal, and they frnilt up
‘ aThrsif bTbricks and built a fire therein
and baked the composition on the top of
an old piece of sheet-iron which they o; •
portunely chanced upon. And when the
thing was baked to their liking—they
T had to pry ft off the iron with Bill Thom
A son’s jackknife—they all partook thereof
with great delight and said it was “ bully,”
and they wished they had such grub as
that at home. And the fastidious
Johnny above referred to quite outdid
all his companions in voreeity and load
expressions of approval. ' r ~
A pwoKum alderman’s obatort.
The orator of the oeoeafon war a
Brooklyn alderman. As he stood up to
sddiem the ondienoe he palled down his
vest, readjusted his shirt ooller and
beck the loppels of his cost, dis-
: Iha&ofakflfcaat la gnat afoa- f
tags. One of bis fellow metnben could
not refrain from audibly noting his re
semblance (6 a* Greek statae.’ His
speech, which was liberally applauded,
concluded as follows:
„ “ Gentlemen, you have heard that
Lord Nelson exebrimed at tfie battle of
Lake Erie. ^ Give BM~deelb or Axmin-
ster Abbey 1 * But, gentlemen, I don’t
went none of your abbeys. When I
die, give me a niche in the patent office
of American stateamen.’'
TUB DDLS. fr
The Dude hee hitherto bean without e
national anthem, but it seems as if that
were supplied in the churns of a London
—wo should say Lunnon—song, which is
as follow*: -
Oh, that'i the way to the Zoo, that'* the way to
ttye Zoo—
The mohkey-honse Is rather fuH, bo* thcre'i
room enough for yon;
Then lake a bna to Rcgent'a Park, make haute
l>efore it shuta, —- "*r"-
Aud on Monday I will visit yon and bring yon
plenty of nnto.
Tits theory so ablyadvanoed by some
of cures teemed contemporaries that the
floodoare due to the denuding of ourfor-
euls i« not without its effect. A tramp re-
fnw'»l t<» saw wood for hie dinner, giving
as n reason that he was bitterly oppos ed
to the destruction of our forests, and
would do nothing to encourage that kind
of business. And be walked off picking
hia teeth.--Cincinnati Fnquirer.
A Money-Making Memory.
THE Bi)N JLARCHE.
A PHILANTHROPIC VNDBRTARINH IN
- PARIS. - -
From the Pashton Oonrtor.]
Almost every cue knows thts wonder
ful dry goods store of Paris, but I think
not many know that it la a benevolent
work ee well as a successful business urn
dertaking. Mr. Boucieeat) the founder,
began life as a poor boy, and when able
to have, a little store of his ofrn hia atten
tion was directed to the welfare of his
clerks, and he gave them, as soon os he
was able,. a home in his own house.
Prom this small beginning the work has
grown wonderfully. Mr, Boucicaut died
• few years ago, worth millions of dollars,
and to-day the “ Bon Marche,” carried
on by his widow, employs 8,000 people.
Two thousand of those people live iu
the building, end the 8,000 take their
meals there. The first thing to be no
ticed by a party making a tour of in
spection of this great concern is a large
hall filled with desks, where a great
masy boys and young men are studying
bookkeeping. - They review all the books
of the store, and ere paid a small amount
for every mistake they find. In the
evening lessons ere given gratuitously to
the employees in English, German, in-
George Harding, Esq., the^Uatm- and vocal muaic. and fencing.
guishod patent lawyer, is remarkable for . CoDoerte » re *7 the store in snm-
1 * * ‘.mer, m the square by the side of the
■to
loutf
uteu
poll
in t
s retentive memory.
A short while ago Mr. Harding rode
down to Wall street, New York, in a
Broadway omnibus. A beautiful young
lady got in and handed fifty cents to the
attorney, requesting him to please hand
it to the driver.
“With pleasure,” said Mr. Harding,
at the same time passing the fifty cents
np through the hole to the stage msn.
The driver mode 'the change and
handed forty cents back to Mr. Harding,
who quietly put it sway into his vest
pocket and went on reading a mowing-
machine brief.
i Thou aU waa.aikunne.# mt r -^==3
The young lady began to look nerv
ously at Mr. Harding for her change.
“Can it lie possible that this is one of
those polite confidence men we read of
in books?” she thought to herself.
Then she looked up timidly and asked
Mr Harding something about the
Brooklyn Ferrv. - ♦—
•> a
“Oh, the boats run very regular—
every three minutes,” replied the in
terrupted lawyer, trying to smile. Then
he went on reading bis brief.
"Do the boats run from Wall street
to Astoria ?”iN)ntinned the yonng lady.
“I don’t, know, madame,” replied
Mr. H., petulantly; “I’m not a resident
of New York; I'm a Philadelphian."
“Ah ! yea”—(then a ailence).
Mr. Harding again buried himself iu
hie brief, while the yonng lady ahemed,
and asked him what the fare was in New
York stages.
“Why, ten cents, madame—ten cents/’
'•■But 1 gave you fifty cents to give to
the driver/ 1 interrupted the young lady,
“and-”
“Didn’t he return your change? Is
it possible ? Here, driver!” the lawyer
continued, dropping the brief and pull
ing the strap violently, ‘ ‘why the 'diek-
ena don’t yon give the lady her forty
cents, sir, forty cents ?’’ • t
“I did give her the change. I gave
forty cents to you, and you put it in
your pocket," shouted the driver.
“Tome?” said Mr. Harding, feeling
in his vest pocket, from whichhis fing( r
brought out four-ten cent’pieees. “Gfa*
cions goodness, madame 1 I beg 10,000
pardons; but—but—”
“Oh, never mind,” said the lady, eying
him suspiciously ; “you know a lady in a
wicked city like New York has to look
out for hereolf. It's no matter—it wasn’t
the forty cents ; but before I left home
motlier .cautioned me against polite con
fidence men, who look so good outside,
but-" A
“Goodness gracious I my dear wo
man !” exclaimed Mr. Harding, while all
the passengers eyed him with suspicion.
I assure you—” ,
But the stivge stopped and the young
lady, holding lest to her portemonnaie,
got out and fled into the Custom House,
while Mr.- Harding went on filling up in
this form: ■> — j
“Goodness gracious I Did you ever?
O Lord ! what shall I do?" etc.
The lawyer got so excited that he went
back to Philadelphia id a hurry. He
even forgot to take a big fee in a mow-
iug machine case. He says he’d
rather pay $10,000 than to let the Phila
delphia fellows get hpld of the story.—
Philadelphia Item. ~ - - - ■
building; in winter, on the ground floor,
which can be cleared by the porters in
twenty minutes of counters and goods,
when it is Deeded for that purpose or for
balls. There ore four dining-rooms, one
for the men clerks, one for the girls, one
.for the workmen, and one for the porters,
mrrnrngnni ami driiess ^ ~
The menn for dinner of one day con
sisted of eonp, one kind of meat, one
kind of vegetables, and dessert, and foi
each person a hall bottle of wine. Coffee
is extra; it costs two cents for a small
enp and three cents for the large ones.
Three hundred people are employed in
the kitchen and as waiters in the dining
rooms. The kettles are immense, three
feet high, and no man could meet his
arms round one of them. Of course,
when full and hot, they are beyond the
abilitynf man to move, so pulleys are
arranged which lift the kettles from the
fire and-place them Where they are
wanted. For the clerks there is a room
for amusements, where thei^ are billiard
tables, chess, checkers, dominoes, etc.,
bnt no card playing.
The lady clerks have a pleasant little
l*arlor, K where there is a piano, and where
they can spend their evenings when they
choose. Each girl has a room entirely
to herself, which is plainly but very
comfortably furnished. There are rules
to Jbe observed by all, but they are not
burdensome or oppressive; the doors are
not closed on week days until 11, and on
^nndays until 12} at night, but the oc
cupations and ohtertaimments make it
more enticing to remain at home than to
go out. Every one in the service of the
“Bon Marche” receives a oeetain oom-
mission on everything sold or delivered,
and after a certain nnmber of years’ ser
vice eaeh acquires tqi interest in the
store that increases yearly.
_ItJs one of the most complete works
of benevolence known. It would be
almost im]X)ssible to think of any details
that are not attended to. There is a
barbers’ shop in the building for the use
of the employees, a physician is em
ployed by the store, and his service® are
free to all ^moreover, there is an infirm
ary iu another part of the city where
those who "are sick are oared for ; a
pair of boots is blacked for every mem
ber of the establishment every day.
When asked if any t>oard was paid the
answer was “no,’''but I suppose at least
some difference is made iu the salarys.
Adelaide PhUUpps.
— 1 ~~'~Z * ' ” .4 " -
Mrs. Waterston has written a warm
ahd tender “ record ” of the virtuous and
lovely oharaoter of Adelaide Phillipps.
Bhe was without any kind of pretension,
and she tells very little of the adven
tures or romances of her life. Amusing
mishaps she made the best of, and rather
enjoyed. For a concert in a^OOuntry
And yet it is demonstrated that it has be; it
and onn be cured, even after it ntt* hi
ran. Dr. Feu* Oswald n is just contribni
n notable article on this subject to the Popu
lar Science Monthly. He regard^ consump
tion as pulmonary scrofula. The impurities
of the blco I prodnos a constant irritation in
the lungs, tin s destroying their de'Ua'e tis
sues and Uni s Ug death. His theory shows
conclusively that cousumi tion is a blood dis
ease. It has its origin primarily in n d -range .l
condition of the kidneys or liver, the only two
organs of the body, aside from the lungs, that
purify the blood. When tl • kidneys or liver
are diseased they are in « sorb or lacerated
stHfct?, which communicates poison to every
ounce of blood .that passes thrOanh them.
This poisonous Wood circulates through the
system and comes to the lungs, where the
ison is deposited, causing decomposition
the finely formed cells of the longs. Any
diseased part of the body has oontnrain iting
power, and yet the blood, which is the life of
the system, Is brought into direct contact
with these poisonea organs, thus carrying
contagion to all parts of the body. Bishop
Jesse T. Peck, D. D., LL.D , whoee death 1ms
been so recently rogietted. is ret>orted to have
died cf pneumonia, which me licnl authori
ties affirm indicates a diseased <-dnditiou-of
the kidneys. It is we'.l known, moreover,
that for several years he had bee.r the victim
of severe kidney trouble, and the faiemnonta
which fluidly terminated his life was only the
suit of the previous blood jsiispuing.
’ftdtyrrmtter which is left mld e l ings
by the impure blood clogs up and finally
chokes the patient. When this is a’coni-
plished'rapidly it is called pneumonia o; quick
consumption; when slowly, consnmptio i. but
in any event it is the result of impnis b-uod,
cansed by diseased kidneys and liver.
These are facts of science, and 'reached for
by all the leading physicians of the day. Th y
show the desirability—nay, the necessity, of
keeping theSe most important organs in par
feet condition, not only to insure health, bnt
also to escape death. Ulmshe-n fully shown,
to ther satisfaction of-ne fly every unpreju
diced mind, that Warner's Safe Kidn y and
Liver Cura is the only ki own remedy that
can cure and keep in l.eilih the great IdooJ-
pnrifyingorgstisof ih , 'br>'ly. It nctsdii ectly
upon these member-', healing all ulcers which
may have formed iit them, and placing them
in a coudit on to purify und not isiisou the
blood. This is no idle statement nor fal-e
theory. Mr. W. C. Beach, foreman of the
Buffalo (N.Y.) Rubber Tyjie Foundry, was
A Hew Yarn City,
R. J. Burdette, the humorist, in a re-
oeut letter gives the following very cor
rect characterization of the city of Roch-
estei: ,, , v t
A city of beautiful homes, broad
streets, and lovely drives, with its own
amous cataracts and cascades right in
tiie corporation limits, a city that grinds
more family flower and raises floorers for
more families than any other place on
the continent, a city that graduates
Baptist ministers every year and natu
rally has its thoughts turned heaven- in her personal
ward so constantly that it wings more
comets every year than any other city
< *n hear of to doable .the time, a city
with one little nursery containing 1,000
acres, and numerous others too small to
mention; the home of the famous
nursery; the home of the Powers build
ing; the land of the Aroode; the city of
the Bftchestcr Baptist Theological Semi
nary and the Genesee Falls, the two
great water-powers; a city whereof more
citizens own ther homes, it is justly
claimed, than in any other city of this
same size in America; s city full of beau
ty and hospitality and business; this is a
bird's-eye view of Rochester. N ' J
town she had one day packed~hor dress,
to a champagne basket, tied up with
green ribbons. After tea she opened the
basket to order to dress, and found to
her dismay that it contained, high boots,
rough coat and the rest of the, habili
ments of some man who, oddly enough,
had packed his clothes in a champagne
basket tied with green ribbons. There
was nothing to be done but to brush up
her traveling dress and send an apology
to the andience, who, however, ap
plauded her warmly, even in her black
silk. In 1879 Miss Plrillipps joined the
Ideal Opera Company, under the direc
tion of Miss E. H. Ober, and remained
to it until December, 1881, when she
made her last appearance on the stage to
Cincinnati. Her friend writes of her that
“she never swerved from the straight
and narrow way to whichjuie walked os
a woman. She socriflceaworldly proe-
pirity to principle, and although she
was a conscientious artist, her heart
life, her home, and
-with, those friends whom she loved.”
Her home had been rinot 1860 on, a farm
in Marshfield, which was bought for her
brother. Energetic and buoyant as her
Mamma: ♦•Charlie, whet to the world
are you doing-sitting on Willie’s heed ?”
Charlie: “We’re playing hone, raemme,
and he’s got tumbled down, and I’ve got
to sit on his head until ha’s quiet. But
he won’t heap quiet.”
temperament was she could not conquer
the illness which increased so much that
she went abroad again in August, 1882,
to take the waters at Carlsbad, and there
she died in the October following. Her
body was^brought home, and after fu
neral services, which were held at King’s
Chapel in Boston, on October 2p, 1882,
n was token to Marshfield to the quiet
country burying ground there. The im
pression made by this memoir is that of
a truly good, generous, tender hearted
w man, who had great gifts and used
them well.—Boston Advertiser.
Nbw York pays $7,0U0,U0U-a year for
its religion and $22,0Q0.000forits drinks,
which goes to show that New York is
having mors fun to this world than if
Mil), to tbs BSBl-vfiMAMWr jgzpress.
a seiamricBiscoviiT.
• srxnUMJrmasL'Ng:
If any ON* had informed Queen Elisabeth
in htr palmiest days that she ooald have been
seAtedmher palace in London and conversed
with Sir Walter Raleiyh in Ms North Caro
linahome; receiving a reply from him within
sn hoor’siime, she Mould have dwin rad it to
l<e a miraMe. Mid yStTbAd Uity lived in the
I >resent dak; this apparent miracle would
meet rrttdity have been witnessed nod not
seem at sit strange or nnnatnrnl The truth
is, new principles are coming itMo exir-tenoe.
and the oiwmlibn of man? laws uilknOwn in j
the pust is. bfeing fully understood in the
present. In no way db is this fact c )it\f m0 - o
forcibly to the mind than in the cure and <
trrstment of the hitmen body* MHboiwiof
l eople have died te pull age# from some in- (
- ^liiflcnilt or easily controlled cause which
ik thoroughly understood now and rend ly
handled. Consumption duringtheem ire p; at
has been ponsuleied an incurnbh disease.
-L+-
Scndat Momenta.—The mill hands of
Lawrence are prone to sleep late an
Sunday morning, alter their Meek of
hard labor. The flet, Mr. Miles tells
ieepy on Sunday/
they ire
ly-Wi
A Re!It ef tb* IVar.
Dr. E. Warren, the eminent
late Purveyor General, C. S. .
practitioner in fans and widi
throughout the South, wrote officially:
“Dr. Worthington’s Cholera Diar
rhoea Medudno Las long Ago enjoyed a
I>T"li reputation, t*»th in rad out of the
' nny. ” Other physicians of high stands
ing recommend it, and with such endorse
ment it is recognized as a sovereign cure.
A enrart- dldtnte of fashion STBitori
tant to all married men. It is that small
checks will bo en regal for spring and
summer silk dresses. It generally takes
such large checks,
I'S'Ues A r.hddretto boots A ffhoss cut nr
i * Patent
over if Lyoh'i
Heel Stiffefaen Are dm
given up to die by both physicians and friends.
For four years he had n terrible coirgh, uc-
ronipained by night sweats, chills, and all the-
well known symptoms. He spent a season
South and lornd no’relief. He says: “I
finally conclude 1 to try Warner’s Safe Cure,
and in three months I gained twenty ikiuiuIs.
recovered my lostjenergy and my health was
fully restored.” T, e li t could be prolonged
indefinitely, but eiiouqh has been said to prove
to every sufferer from pulmonic troubles that
there is no reason to l>e di eouraged in the
least, and that health can" be restore J.
Substitute for Stammering/
A recent addition to the Newsboys’
Home in Philadelphia is a bright-look
ing lad who hails from Syracuse, N. Y.,
and glories in the name of Michael
Connelly. Michael is probably among
the most remarkable whistlers of the
age. He whistles every time he opens
bis mouth to speak, and frequently is
-compelled to whistle after every word he
utters. “It just seems like I’d bust if
I don't whistle,” he remarked to a
Record reporter yesterday afternoon,
and Ke whistled no less than four times
iu saying it. The lad is a professional
itinerant liootblack, who has seen the
country from Chicago to Boston, and
knows all the smart ways of his genus. -
He was taught to whistle os a'feure for
a most aggravating case of stuttering.
So violent were the attacks that Michael
wonld lie thrown into convulsions when
he attempted to speak; and he declares
that several times be was nearly strangled
to death in making efforts to talk. One
day two years ago a friendly custom< r
suggested that he should whistle before
he attempted to speak, and see how fur
that would relieve hto). The boy tried
the whistling cure, and the effect was
so gratifying, and afforded such relief,
that he adopted the practice, and con
tinued it -until it became a habit. His
stuttering has almost entirely disaj/-
peared, but the reanlthas been that he
cannot begin to frame a sentence until
ho has relieved himself by a sofVluw
whistle, which is repeated every few
seconds. If he says “Thank you, sir,”
he whistles three, times, once before
unoo to the middle, "iuid wnWaTTEe^mt
of the sentence. /
The Farmer and the Squire’s Peacocks.
t
Retaliation.—A Washington dis
patch says that an Act of Congress sus
pending the itnfiortation of German
wines Into the l)nited States may yet be
necessary liefore the German authorities
will lie convinced that American pork is
wholesome food.
Psrvom rKtoverin* 'rom wm'ide dtveavev,
■uch m to a Up*, f -ver*. etc., will b# greatly
beoefitfd br n'in/ U ^wn’* Iroa Bitlrr-./r
•A young lady applying for a situation
as teacher in Spencer pnqity, Ky., in
reply to a question said/ “I ain’t milch
of a aritlnneticker, bnt am an elegant
grammar .-t,”
OWKstoZ. Ky » It^v. j. N. B^rks v*:
*'1 have lived 1J-.-wj Iron tt ttpr» nut C n-
Aider It n"A of *> • *> •* lon'mi >o11.”
There is hardly An 'American who
does not ache to become a champion of
some sort. That’s the why some men
mnd their wives and others get drunk,
s the only field in which they can
shine. —/Wro/f Free Preen.
3 f.
K
fonuuus Pa —R V. J D Zshiarrayi!
* I was |.«r T*-<1 iii my r'urH tide. The nee
of Brown’* Iron Bitter* enabled me to waJ T ;.' ,
Thb Senate has reduced the tariff on
I milled Mire fencing, but that won’t help
Hie farmer’s hired map any.... He wants
the barbs filled down and a .cushion ar
ranged every twenty rods along the top
wire. -
“ ] )r. Benson's Celery And Chamomile Pill--
.nre win tti their weight in irold in nervous and
;ick headache.’’—Dr. Schlichter^B tltiinorc.
Only one newspaper man ont of every
sixty-four ever 1ms a sharp knife, but
only one lawyer out of every one hnn-
dreil and twenty carries a had pencil.
How much liettcr it is to lie anewspaiier
man.
I
“Your Ski- C' re 11 superrexcellent. ILt-
ianl rnriii'i vti/ ilatnjhler’s rinyrlvorui, irhi< t
Kill n/irciiil-all orer her U>?/.'/-•”—Mrs. E. I.
I). Morrism/tUne Hilt. My**, DnuririsU
I cri*n
%
to
.ee;«i!. *lj i r>sK-kn-.'?^
When a fellow gels a letter fordiis wife'
ont of the Po-t Office'aiuY-Ue forgets
give it to her for n week or
way to lot her have it is to tie,it on the
end of n long fishing pole and poke it
through the window to her.
— M " .- X
Her Here, Vosn* Men,
I hat girl of mine is twice hs handsome since
she commenced using Carlmline, the deodor-
bed extru-f of Petroleum, and I would not
be without it for n fortune-
* “Mean," said the Texas man of his
(neighbor. “Why. there isn’t a drop of
t lie'rhilk of human klhdnes.H in that man's
1 >ody. He’s got a dog tha^s an elegant
match for Jenks's bull pnp andhe won’t
let ’em fight. - ^
. ■c' - rtastrinr.
This premiar&t ou, comiounded from the
forrhnla of n oe’e irnfed physician, is highly
n commended to ladies who suffer from nn-
pleasiTSTfeelmgs aTtid eating. Druggists.
There's nothing morp, disgusting to a
boy than to follow a tire engine half a
mile up a long hill under the impression
that he’s going to a fire only to find that
they are taking the machine tp.be re
paired.
• _ .
A Remarkable Tribal*.
Sidney Ourchnndro, of Pittsburg, Pa,, write*:
“I have used Dr. Wm. Hall * Balsam for the
Lnrrgfrhlfiy years, with the most gratifying re-
•ulfsT ThereHeving MiiJw-nce of llaU'H Balsam
i* wonderful The pain and r**-V of the body,
ituddi ntal to a tight eongl). soon disappear in
the iu;e ef-a spoimfol according to-dtret-tien/
My wife always send* for Hall's Balsam instead
of a physician.”
c D r - CJr*ea»* OxygeaateA Bitter*.
is the oldest and best remedy for Dyspepsia I
BilioU*ne*s; Malaria^ IniligeHAion. *11 disordei* 1
of the Stomach, and all di-easts indieaTfng an
impnre condition of the Blood, Kidney* *nd
Li ver.
■BNSeRaeM puptouiMd Ite* terto,tha
‘#JSB?2^r22S!t&
arSI
; a’**, In all mtss-
itiuus, whether th? moult of txs
'~^43Gr- k "
pvlno&ftrfr _
Co!, PmptUtec*, M. tT
A N>w Devkju.—An Exchange says:
If yoar dog kills a chicken take the dead
bfed* pass a leg each tide of the dog’s
jMk and tie the legs together. Then
let the dog fun. After the chicken bar
been about his neck for a day or two
yom- chickens will never agai n be troubled
Ity that do^
ThO ProlcUfl it I'tiL
Mr. C. H. Doapm. of No. 228 Main Street,
Worcester, Maas., volunteers the following:
“ Haring Occasion recently to use a remedy
for kidney disea e, I applied to my druggist,
Mr. T). B. Williams, of Lincoln Hqunre, this
city, and requested him to fvfnish me the
best kidney medicine tliflt he ktte v of. and he
handed me a bottle df Hunt’s Retnvoyi stat
ing that it was considered the beet bSRtfoe
he had sold many bottles of it to his cus
tomer* in Worcester, an 1 they all speak of it
in thu highest terms, and pronounce it always
reliable. I took the bottle home and com
menced taking it, ana find that it doe* the'
work effectually; and I am pleased to recom
mend to all who have kidney or liver disease
the use of Hunt’s Remedy, the sure eare."
April 11,1888. „ *-
rirev ti e Ati Nog Bo,
Mr. (LtoiK Z A. Buumrr, No. 16T> Front
Street, Worcester, Mess., has jaet sent as the
fo’lowiug, directly to the petin: U
“ Being afflicteu with aumellts to whieb all
humanity is subject sooner or later, I read
carefully the advertisement regarding the re
markable curative pOwOm Of Hunt's Remedy,
inut ns it recmed to apply to my CflSe exactly,
I purchased a bottle of the medicine at Jttn-
Sery’s drU? store, in thi< city, and having
ti-ei it with moSi bepeflcial results in my own
ra-w*. my wife and son also commenced its
ase, and it has mos decidedly improved their
health, and we shall continue its use in oar
family under s ich favorable reselte.”
April 17, 18811.
I—j •; -—RwagPeHs KiWuueu. ~ r—
Mr. Okohok W. UoL'OMc, druggist, 128
and 181 Congress Slrcet, Troy. N. k'., writc-s
April 7,18851;
“ I am constantly e’Hng Hunt’s Remedy
for diseases of the k il n-ys, liver, bladder
and urinary organ?. k> my trade and friends,
an l find that it gives general s I'isfaction to
all who use it”, . .
« " e
The late Mr. Rindge began his bnoi-
ness life as an office boy, and died worth
^2,000,000; but the Boston Tranxeript
1 relieve* that ninety-nine ont of a hnn
dred would rather begin worth $2,000,-
000, and ran the risk of ending os an
For Yon, (
TMsM*
/
Whose Complexloii betryyn
lamiliating
t
Mine hi
tmperftte-
m-
x*
■fflee boy.
Roanoke Cotton Press.
The Beta snA Cheacest Frew meric.
OoRt« Ionn thtin r>r«r oth^r pre «tt. Htinffy iri
ftctn»l nm at both horM pk»tyer xinx Mtkoff
heaver hy haiwi (oNtfr thin an/ ffin can pick. Tha
dr tv iiDprovtitnents in fin honpen described in Ui > wori«
of their inroptorti frtM to an. Addrtins, Uminokr
Iron Wtorka* yilAtTANtNN»A,'TENH_ ! . of Koan«ke
PrrM C«.* IlinM tkjVkMX, O'
C O -''4 S M l- 5 T l C - N
w. mxi.A.uv,
ATI/A NT A, ft A. —
AND WHISKKY HABITS (,'PRED
Three v\orks.
.iih-mphl'-,-. pm-if. end terraii,
aitSrcn* in cnnlMesce. willi .V; .tamp
SI. n.. in Ssoah SuxitT,
SOLD^V
IKIbrell «ho will pek* .per* tl**e prof
> * e i p .yin* kealn-M if ran ran <Uveta
»to it. BPaEAY BILL. Ue* TB. U. T.
»ir»a. (nrcuUt
MDerSt.. N.Y
OPIUM HABIT
Cured Painlesslv
Tha Madlcinc ~>M .'or < mtll m»i(pn alx * • t ha
. ompoandin*. A I raem (ranted l.jr ,p.. .,1 i>/M-. np
nw. Vaa wit parttealar* «<Mra-f ihr Ui rwvei er.
DR. S. A COLLWt, L« Dart , 'nil.
TwrItr hone power, 8TATIOKARY ExvGiNK, hi
perfect mnninff or ler, will be Bold for hlAU. cwh.
It was an enterprising sight to see Ad«io*«. atlast* friwerAi-u Usioa, auwu. m
a nessbny down in the bottoms wading lvai*wMa>w«. MmpMwwuiMiraa.
wwramvt (rv I... »»1R#AU Addraaa «TU«*OI< AJ*.^ FartJaad. Me,
around np to his knees in water shout
ing: “He
flood !"
ere*S your i>aper, all aliout the
The London Echo tells this story ot
the troubles to which the English forme]
is subjected:
1 ‘There was a Urge and sympothetic
gut In ring of Devonshire tanners recent
ly at Peamore, on the occasion of the
sale of the stock of Mr. James Baker,
who has been compelled to quit his farm,
owing, it is alleged, to his having com-
jilained of the destruction of his crops
and damage to his farm by a flock of
forty peacocks kept by the landlord, Mr.
Trehawke Kelewich, and of the unduly
large number of rabbits which were al
lowed on the land. Mr- Baker has had
the holding for twenty-three years, and
it has been to the hands of his family for
half a century. Since the present land
lord came in possession the peacocks
have been allon^ed to. wmdcf-#▼«* the
farm, feeding on the food given to the
cattle. The rabbits last year totally de
stroyed a field of eleven acnee of wheat ,
causing the farmer serioaa loss. Appli
cation was mads for compensation, but
nothing came ot it. - Hires days before
Lady-Day a further conversation took
place about the gtobita, and the agent
told the fanner that he might kill them
in any way he pleased. The tenant ex
pressed himself content with this, but
three days afterward the landlord gave
him six months’ notice to quit The
farm is to a high st*te qf cultivation, and
although Mr. Baker will be entitled to
compensation as between out going and
and, incoming tenant, it is estimated
that he will loae fully AfiOO by having to
quii 1' . I
A retisZd vocalist, who bad acquired
a large fortune by marriage, waa asked
I to biug to company. “Allow toe,” said
I be, “to imitate the nightingale, which
does not sag after it fees mads its nest.
Dr.Worthingtons
Hill
Iky••• nUrry, *Nmnrr Pywpr pala, and other
afectiomo of the stomach and botools. Introduced In Um Army,
1*2. by 'turfroo General C. ft. A. Recoameaded by Gen.
Warren, Purveyor-Genirnli Hon. Kenneth Raynor. Boiloilor
U. B. Tromoury. and others. Price, <5 ets. Sold by Drngglots
and Dealers. Onlr genuine if our name is blown in,bottle. Sole
«« r*:
Stew-
Bitten meet* tb*
liemeni* of th*
inet medical phi-
' Ipaoptaj which
■+aumim t—**"*
I* a perfectly
vegatahU
embraelac the three
important propertte*
of a preventive, a
tonic and aa altera
tive. It fortlfleo th*
VnilMfi UCH II rvn want tobacomoTELEGRAPH
lUUnH MMOPtRATOIW ead ho (aaiaatrwd
oa^moat. addreas P. W. KKA.H, Ada. Onto
WEEK. SU'-dar at b/HacMMiir mAd*. cam'
Ukl fraa. Andrpm Tara A Oo , a«*oma. Me
* varg.Y.'Sjr.'gt-Cg
ENTS WANTED
FREE
Send to
■VMN
K/>r Tlln.inilMl rimilar Ms.
zm
mXmJ
Ufa
InwnaiB* demand for omratom.—Shi
_ Impe
tion, whone .{J®
ihzt yon are Tanned, Sallow
and disfigured in counte-
nance, or have Eruption*,
Redness, Ronahnees or
wholeMme tints of tom;
ion.wesaynseH
nolia Balm.
It is a delicate, harmleos
and delightful article, pro
ducing the most natural and
entrancing tints, the artifici
ality of which no observer
can detect, and which won
becomes permanent if the
Magnolia Balm is judiciously
used.
i:ew improved
. l r lyswi^** t rimo Xeepora, lownnt ivitMk
vGic Oa rvLootM’
J I', s EVENS WATCH CO.
t Wm rrH.i.i s-. w£at. - • ATLANTA. OA.
IRON WORKS.
A. ML LANK, Mann«
Box 1690 New Orloam, La.
-"“W’liSdS
te. l>/luinnA Rwlinae, I
lithine and M./ hine Work.
OrORDKKS SOLIUTTED..
. -USSS..
-THt
3*ne
BUT IB 0NBAR8ST."
Ill
'Sultmioalleectlon*-) Wrtte^orWmKKUlaiLllAn^Wee
and Prim to Tbo Aoltiaan A1
MILL 4
OF ALL
ACTOIto -uPPUES
10$. BLl . NQ, HOSE
and PACKINQ, OILS, PUMPS ALL
KINDS, IRON PIPE, FITTINM,
BRASS GOODS, STEAM GAIMES,
ENGINE GOVERNORS, As. Sssdfor
Prios-litL W. H. DILLINGHAM 400
421 Mala Street. LOUISVILLE. KY.
IT.
Ten
OPIUM
MORPHINE HA
So pay till cured.
rear* catabltahed, 1,000
cured. Rtat* caB*. Dr.
Ar«h. Quiucy, Mich.
A. N. V TwewEy-Hta.—*ea
NflAT.W (JQ^
&
Vot.aMAM Btranfxaa Goli.xok, Newark,N.J. ii-nin,
It PnoltiuMTar (radoatea. Writ* for circalan.
Tb* *‘Lll
■Hi
WJ bL-ZZ.
I- AT MW!
S'* * O’kf lBre
AS ih/A Bril mm* HUtwr^amSI'Bie
PMmeneam elBomdweaoy mm*od< Jeka.
•SKysaLrsaAfiirisffiir
4 camllwflan of tro-
tmsitis of Arms, Pentvimn
Bmrkmstdnssphsrusin
m DalrtaSI* /hrw*. f vt
tuZr&JSnfir'flt",,
ter
Be Hpcukora
where «
sort. I
nxuuanruok.kaktek kxoicxne oo.. oir aA»r..arums
The Westinghouse Engine
O O T T O 2ST “gin-IT 13ST a-.
tarSEXD FOR SPECIAL CIRCULAR,-**
Ho Oouotsr Bbaftiag or Fulleya
Required.
Star $75 to $150 Saved.*^1
Gita belt'd direct from ESftaS^SV
coup ed i« I*., as is this cut,
Without Belt.
B 'il* r i**j be ret 100 feet frMi Ola
Hone*. The Moat Peif ct Mtrftt ter
GINNING CO fTON is ths wcrM.
ftPPend lor Illustrated Cirevlstr.^*
Ill WESTDOUSE UtEll GO., HM, Ft
N.
ty*. . -v
- „ y’-i-.
General .'Sato Agencies:
Danikl A. Tompkins, • ■ -
Ai r anta Fngivekring t v^caiiy, SS Marietta 8:reel,
MvaiuoautaY iaoa Woajuh
Charlogtn, North Ofratiaa.
Atlanta, Georgia.