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EM?-VIS-tT MAS LAST UtMC. -1 Till HOO 1 PUWSO «C KST SAME OP W ura-sooSMuiO \ '■v { : Nobody’s Business By Gee McGee. ♦4 flat rock news. deer mr. editor:— as yore present corry spondent is sick this week, i have been asked by her brother bill (who lives on the fedral land bank farm which they tak en, away from mr. jones last yr. on- ner count he could not pay for his ford and the land too) to rite up the flat rock news this week which is as follows: born to mrs. oldham 1 baby boy who ancers to the name of sammie jr after his daddy who run off a few months ago when his still was tore up down on the branch in the rare of his house by the sheriff but he was never hatched, both of them seem to be doinf as well as possible considering hot haveing much of a doctor with them and he come too late *, • - _> m* 1 the health of the comunity is o. k., except jhon Clark and his darter suaie and yore umbull scribe has been up set a right smart by liver puddin street every week are closely related to the “other” side of my house. She insists that the 64 that are not re lated to her are some of “mine” thgt are too good to owh it. The following items were reported entirely out just as I was leaving for prayer-meeting last night: Sugar, coffee, soap, flour, balogna, cheese, chicken feed, rat poison, perfume, wash rags, coal, cash, blank checks, baking powders and ink. The electric light.that her aunt left burning in the closet upstairs was discovered this morning whep the man read our meter and fainted. The letter we sent to our friends in Georgia 8 weeks ago telling them not to visit us until April went to the dead-latter office and was returned to us 4 days after the “company*’ had left It seems I addressed Jim and Family in N. C., instead of Ga. But there were only 7 children and 2 mothers-in-law with them. • from a hog which i killed last week and she nested 324 pounds after be-1 they set up a terrible uproar. Our 14 hens seemed terrible ex cited the other morning and we rushed out to kill the mink or possum or polecat, or such other varmint as might be caught . disturbing them. We found that 1 of the hens had laid an egg and as it was the first egg the other 13 hens and 1 rooster ever saw, A man ing tkalled ansoforth, and my wife has a bad cold allao which was ketch- ed by grinding sausage out in the back yard instead of in the kitchen like i told her. a singing was hell at jim Clark’s en during the Christmas holly days and was led by me and the organ was played by miss sallie Clark and base was sung by derbey Clark and a fid- asked me last week if 1 kept hens and I told him yes, but Dot why and how. We woke up the other morning be twixt 3:30 a. m., and sun-up with a terrible pain that reached from 1 end of our diagram to the center of our anatomy. The doctor was called and he came just before the pearly gates began to open. He asked us what we ate for supper and we said buscuits and he said what else and we said a Authors' Wives The public may have an Idea that wives of famous authors are obscure ladles who say little and back in tbelr husbands’ fame. That may have been so years ago, but In these days of film and talkie rights the wives play Important parts. The author writes his novel, sells it to a publisher, mag azine, or both, and calls it a day. Whereupon the wife undertakes to sell the film rights. Aim an author’s wife at any motion picture magnate and he will much In terror, for these women certainly know how to talk business. They are the ones who get big prices, whereas soft-headed writ ers are reputably content with modest sums. I know of two writers’ wives who have recently appointed them selves general managers to their bus- bands—and with astounding success. One woman told me that she had just succeeded In obtaining from t film concern four times the sum It original ly offered her husband for the talkie nttit* to bit «tory. . • A Long Memory ^ Alvin Simmons, colored, who has been hat-check boy In broadcasting stations since the early days of WJZ, holds his present job with a large broadcasting chain because of his memory and tactfulness. Memory was slightly stronger than tact the other night, when a musicinn called grumpily for his hat. It had been a hard, hyt gening, and the musician was grouchy. “Is that my hat?” he demanded of Simmons as he pointed to one on the sbejf. “It’s the one you’ve been wenrin’, but It Isn’t yours,” said Simmons. “It belongs to Mr. Smith, but you picked It up oy mistake s year ago tbla month.’’ (A by the Bell Syndicate. Inc.) die was allso played by me after the service and the same was enjoyed by! little piece of boghead souse and he all present and then simmon beer was said what else and we said a small served by the host with some ginger bite of perk sausage and he said what cake and a stick of candy each which else and we got mad and turned over wa* took home to the little fellers. the whole community was made sad last friday night about 9 when someboddy knocked on our doyr and told us that old man jack haitshorn had breathed his last at the supper table just after he had drunk too much buttermilk and fell over on the floor and never sed another word ex- i cept where is my hat. he will leave a large family and 2 mules with a mortgage on same and other kin folks too tedious to mention to mourn his loss which was expeckted as his blood presher went up when cotton went down last fall, he was berried the side of his wife next day who succeeded him to the grave 4 yr. hence. crops is about all gathered /Except mine, but i am working on halves and have got my half out, and as goner move next yr., it looks like my land lord will hafter pick hm bale his- self. unless the farm Relief bored helps Jhe farmer to make a crop i may move to town and peddle beef altogether and cut out working in the field ansoforth. mr. editor please rite .or foam me and i will let you print thia so’s it will he/p you get some more subscribers dpwn here. News Arouhd Our House. We had an egg apiece for breakfast this morning, j The change from gravy and bread was due to the re cent decline in eggs in sympathy with general Motors. and decided just to go ahead and die a natural death without a doctor. But he squitted something in our arm and made us take a pint of castor oil. He went home. And we did not get to the office till late that afternoon. It seems funny that what a fellow likes to eat best hurts him worst. LIGHTS •'SSSR of NEW YORK kinfolks camf up Wed- to spend the week-end cents m .pound, steak it tar, and to is lemon cake. TV plumber and his helper came Up ml did 25-cents worth of work last week. He did not floMM to send the following bill: ‘^fpriime of and helper fT.00. To 6 cents, Total M-TS” but 14 of the Eye Gymnasium* Physical culture appears to be los ing its hold over lowly office work ers, and in its place comes the eye gymnasium. Instead of Indulging in a good, fast game of handball, after a hard day’s work at ledgers and ac counts, the white-collar boys now spend half an hour putting their eye am muscles in shape.— “Relieves strain—makes you sleep like a baby,” they say. As one member of a Young Men’s Eye association describes the process to me, It appears that one’s chin is firmly held in a ha mess which keeps the head from turning, and one^ is called upon to goggle at various mov ing colored patterns. Just as a dancer feels that she Is progressing Tn her studies when she has learned to do the “split,” so does the eye acrobat feel encouraged when bis trainer tells him that he can cover an ocular range of 180 degrees without turning his head. **• u • • • 1 Harmless Dog A very blonde, very beautiful motion picture actress, who has given up her art for her wealthy husband, owns a greet done that is about the size, say, of a^graud piano. She keeps him In her Greenwich village penthouse apartment, and hires one of the hall boys to take him out for a nice, long walk twice a dhy. Not long ago a young woman Ing on a lower floor stepped into the elevator, and there found the hall boy and the great daaa. The dog, when •sated, was nearly as call as the young woman. She timorously edged her way to the farthest corner of the ele vator, and watched the dog warily. “Don’t mind him, ma’am,” said the -He’s Jem a miles to church, clad only in hi s night shirt. Bentham, the ^philosopher, went bareheade4 in winter and wore heavy leather gloves in summer. Many men *of genius have been shockingly lax in morals as measured by adopted standards. All this does not mean, however, that being a little bit nutty is an in fallible sign of genius. Record Family London.—The Smith family of Eg- hara Isn’t Just another family. It lays claim to being the tallest Smith fam ily in the world. The father is six feet, the mother almost the same height and the only daughter, Ruby, is six feet three inches and can lift a nine-gallon cask of beer. Three boys in the family are all over six feet. ' r \ Beet May Be Thrifty but They’re Dishonest East Lansing, Mich.—Bees, which have always been literature’s shining example of Industry and thrift, aro now accused by specialists in apicul ture at Michigan State college, of rot^ bery. i As a further mark of criminal traits, the specialists point out that the bees rob the weak and defenseless mem bers of tbelr species. Colonies which have too few members to defend tbelr honey stores fall victims to Insect highwaymen if the apiarist Is not care ful in handling bis bees. - Owners of bees are advised to con tract the entrances of hives occupied by weak colonies. This enables the few defenders witldn the hive to bar tbelr door to predatory strangers. If the hives of weak colonies must be opened, the work should be done as rapidly as possible. oooooooooooooooooooooooooo Spends Night Locked in Rumble Seat of Car Westfield, N. J.—Rosario Arcediano spent a night in the rumble seat of bis automobile. Seated in the rumble seat of his car in front of his home in Cnccioht street, he fell asleep. When he woke up the flap had fallen v and automatically locked, leaving him half reclining in a cramped position. He cut a hole in the car floor for ventilation. His- -■ tracted Patrolman Nead to whom he passed the automobile i keys. Nead unlocked the staL ^oooooooooooooooooAoooooo - - Vagaries of Genius. Nothing is quite so mysterious as the workings of the human mind. A study of men classed as geniuses gen erally shows them to be a little “cracked” in certain respects. Some-r times their peculiarities have been harmless; in others they have led to positive insanity. A few examples will illustrate: Napoleon was afraid of a cat; Peter the Great was afraid to cross a bridge* Martin Luther imagined that the devil appeared to him and he i threw hig ink bottle at the fKnd; Sam uel Johnson, Beethoven ai^T Lincoln at times contemplated suicide. Among the ridiculou! antics of great men may be mentioned the occasional habit of Cardinal Richelieu to gallop around a billiard table, imagining himself to be a hens. Acfcyn Smith, the great ecoooaUet, once walked IS San Sebastian It Cold to Beach Rettrictioni San Sebastian. Spain.—The bathing suit restriction problem recently bobbed up here. A group of women addressed a let ter to the city officials, asking that all women bathers be icom- pelled to wear a three-piece suit, of prescribed dimensions. No ac* tlop has been taken on the re quest. -— / Apropos of the regulations sug gested for Spain s famous sum mer resort a Madrid paper re cently printed a cartoon show ing a girl about to go Into the ocean, dressed in on 1890 model bathing suit, with a padlock around her neck. Standing by the girl Is her mother. “Am ! safe?” the girl asks. “Yes, daughter, but somebody might come along with an X- ray,” replies the mother. i ► P. W. STEVENS OPTOMETRIST Office in Jewelry Store BARNWELL, S. C. Fifteen Years a Specialist ex amining Eyes and Prescribing, Glasees at Your Service. Bladder Irritation If functional Bladder Irritation disturbs your sleep, causes Burning or Itching Sensation, Backache or Leg Pains, making you feel tired, depressed, and discouraged, why not try the Cyatex 48 Hour Test? Don’t give up. Get Cyatex today at any drug store. Put it to the test. See for yourself what it does. Money back if it doesn’t bring quick im provement, and satisfy you com pletely. Try Cyatex today. Only 60c* For Sale by Deason’s Drug Store NOTICE! Against Hunting, Fishing ft Trapp Any person or persons entering upon the lands hereinafter referred to, situate in Barnwell, Richland and Red Oak Townships, for the purpose ot hunting, fishing or trapping, will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law: Mrs. Flossie Smith 1,000 W. H. Duncan 405 Mrs. Kate M. Patterson 3,000 Du tear non Place 1,650 Mrs. Jane R. Patterson 1,000 Sweet Water Place 500 John K. Snelling *1.. 100 Barnwell Turpetine Co:l Simmos Place 450 ; Middleton Place 300 Mose Holley 150 S. B. Moseley 100 J. M. Weathersbee 572 Estate of H. A. Patterson.. 2,000 Joseph E. Dicks 800 R. C. Holman 400 A. A. Richardson 1,000 Lemon Bros. 150 Bruce Place —v 500 B. L. Easterling Cave Place .. 200 J. P. Harley — 150 L. W. Tilly 160 H. L. O’Bannon ... 72 Hariet Houston 150 GEO. H. WALKER,’ Owner ANGUS PATTERSON, Mgr. Barrwell, S. C., Sept. 3, 1929. o Millions of motorists 1(now that “Standard on the pump means the best gasoline on Millions cant be wrong. mari *If you haven’t yet tried it, fill up on the new-processed V “Standard” Gasoline. It’s the quickest starting, smooth est powered, popular-priced gasoline on the market HADE BY THE EEFINEES OF ESSO— THE LEADING PREMIUM MOTOR FUEL—STANDARD OIL OOMEANT OF NEW JERSEY C NEW-PROCESSED. HIGH.TEST i * J-