University of South Carolina Libraries
MANAGING A MULE. You Nebudrkanezzssa4wi0, "ah; Vbar:ls y6utryin.to g, sah? P'd hab you for to" know, sah, I's a holdin' de, lines! You better stop dat prauchin You's powerful fond of dancin'. Bit I'll bet my yeahs advancin' Dat I'll cure you ob de shines. Look heah, mule! Better nin' out Fust t'ing you knoW you'll: find out How quick I'll wear dis line out On you ugly, stubbo'n back. You needn't try to step up A i' lif' dat precious heel up, You's oot to plow dis fiel' up, Youl has, fora fact. Dar; dot's de way to do it! lie's comin' right down to it, Jes' watch plowin' t'roo it! Dis nigger aint no fool! Some folks dey would beat hin; Now, dat would only heat hin I know jes' how to treat him; You mus' reason wid a mule. lie mines me like a nigger, 1f he was o)ly3 bigger He'd fotch a mighty figger, He would I tell you I Yes, s8ah! See how he keeps a-clickin', A n' neber thinks o' kickin' Whoa, dar! Nebuceadnezzah * * * * * Is dis heah me, or not me ? Or is de debil got me ! Was dat a cannon shot me? Hab I laid here mnore'n a week ? Dat mule do kick amazin' ! De beast was sp'iled in raisin' But now I s'pect he's grazin' On de oder side de creek. A Pity Not Akin To Love. The other day, when - the Illi nois Central train pulled up to the platforn at Wapella, says the Chi e:ago Mail, a stout, rosy-cheeked country girl boarded it and sat down on a turned seat facing a dude in tight pants, and a small, white hat. He at once determin ed to exercise his wiles on the poor thing and make a mash. 'Good mawning, Miss,' he said. HIlowdy-doo,' she replied. 'Aw you going faw?' 'Huh u h !' 'Wheah doyou disenibawk?' 'Wheah (10 you get off the cahs?' 'I'm goin' to Bloomington.' 'Aw! I am going to stop theah yself. Vewy happy to have such :hawming companion.' Well, the boys here say 1'm ~hty goodl company,' she re ~d. 'he dude got up and sat down ecr side. ou aaw a vewy p~wetty young and I am chaw med to be your vt,' he said, leaning over on houlder. an on your own breakfast.' uid, pushing him away. xat did you say ?' he asked, crowding her. n on your own breakfast. t eat enough for both of us. this miornin' was four bis ud two pieces of ham, two Sand nine slices of fried nd I dlon't feel like hold * lup. ide looked considerably ~k, but he began a lot of cas the train p)ulled, and r old farmers in the coach became thoroughly an e sat up close to her and on-lier shoulder and whispered to her. Just as the train was pulling in to Bloomington the girl began to cry, and there were four old men on their feet in a minute, each of whom had made up his mind to thresh the dude within an inch of his life. One of them approach ed the pair and kindly asked the girl: 'Did the snipe insult ye? 'No, no, no!' she sobbed. 'Then what's the matteri' 'Pe-po-pore feller!' 'Why, what air ye cryin' about, if he hain't insulted-ye?' 'He's in d-da-danger, and I pity the p-po-pore feller,' she sobbed. 'Why? What is his danger?' 'He's so g-gree-green that I'm afraid he'll get off at some little t tow-town and the cows will eat him up!' she cried,wringing her hands. The last seen of him was as he turned a series of double somer saults alongside the train in the ditch, having jumped off when the train was making twenty miles an hour. Hs DiDN'T ALLOW IHIMSEt1r To GET EXCITE.-A stranger sat in the corner of one of the Piedmont Air-Line elegant passenger coach es en route for New York,in an easy attitudel, his feet upon a laige, black trunk. The gentlemanly conductor, going his rounds, at the first station politely informed the stranger that that was no place for a trunk; it must he put in the baggage car. To which the stranger nothing replied. At second station the displeas ed conductor more decidedly told the stranger that lie must put the trunk in the baggage car. The stranger seemed perfectly indifferent. At the third station the vexed conductor more imperatively told the stranger that he must put the trunk in the baggage car or it would be put off the train. The stranger kept peCrfectly quiet. At the fourth station the irate conductor, had the trunk put off and left. Tro which the stranger said nothing. At the fifth station the molli fied conductor, addressing the stranger, begged him to r'emember that he but (lone what his duty required, that lie had (lone it only after repeated warnings, and that it was solely the stranger's fault. To which the stranger laconic ally replied: "I don't care a but ton ; tain't my trunk." EQUAL TO A REGIMNT.-'Pa,' saidl a little Kentucky boy, 'what is the title of a man Who comnmands a regiment?' 'Colonel, my son.' 'LDo you command a regimnenat? 'Yes, somewhat. .I don't com mand a regiment of soldiers,' the colonel explained, 'We are hav inig times of peace. now. I only command your ma,' 'Is my ma a regiment ?' 'Yes, ipdeed,' he replied, with a sigh, 'your ma is a regiment-a whole reet.' DISSOLUTION. .THE FIRM OF W. M. Hagood & Co., is this day dissolved by Mutual consent. All parties indebted are re spectfully begged to come forward as soon as possible and pay their Notes and Ac counts to W. M. Hagood, as money is badly needed. W. M. JIAGOOD, P. McI). ALEXANDER. COPARTNER{SHIP. The undersigned have en tered into partnership for the puEpj)OSe of colndUCtillg the Mercantile business at Eas Iey under name and style of W. M. lagood & Co., and -espectfully ask the pa-tron - age of the public. W. M. IIAGOOD, .J. McD. BRUCE, W. W. ROBINSON. aug 4 tf. Established 186. No Patent No Pay. PAT ENTS Obtained for Mechanical Devices, Comn poun)ds, Designs and Labels. All preliminary examinations as to patentability of i nventions, Free. Our "Guide for Obtaining P~atenats," Is sent free everywhere. A ddress, LOUIS BAGGER & CO. Solicitors of Patents, Ma~y 30 tI Washington, D. C. Joseph Weston, Root & Nhoe Maker, Over Wash. Howell's Beef Market, Main St., GREENVILLE, S. C. I F you want to save money caill on JOS, WESTrON andI have your lioots and shoes made to Order, and guaranteedl perf fit BUY FINE CL OT IIG SHOES GREENVILLE, S. C. Dec 21-1y TH E CHEAP CASH Store of OWNBEY BROS., Is the place to btly your Staple and Faney Groceries, Tobacco, Segars, Far mers' Hardware, Garden Seeds, &c., OUR SPECIALTIES. We keep Stoves, ("Frockery and Tin.. ware, at tlard times prices. Thanking the public generally for their liberal patronage in the past, we hope by close attention to business to mierit a continuance of the same. Country produce bought at hiighest market pi&c, for cash. Remember our motto is qdick sales and short profts. Give' us a ca-i. Rtesp)ectfully, OWNBEY BROS.. Easley, S. C. Jan 25--8mn Furniture.House EASLEY, S. C. COME ONE, COME ALL A ND furnish your Ihouses in elegant style for the Summer with a nice Line of Bedsteads, Mattresses, Bu reaus, Tables, Standls, Chairs, Rockers, &,&. A general assor'tment of Landscape chromos in 22x30 inch frames, chord, &c., all ready for hang ing on the walls. Also, on hand, a line of cabinet, promenade, panel and card size photograph frames, all in artistie style.. Always on hand a 1full line of UNDERTrAKER'S SUPPLIES. Caskets and coffinis, alisizes and styles. Burial Robes for each sex, all qualities and prices. Ready at all hours to wait upon customers. Coffins trimmed in any style, andl when so desibed, will be trimme~I and shipped to any point on Railroad free of extaca