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JOsh Billings on Infidelity. Did you ever hear ov a man's renouncing Christainity on hiz d eth-)ed, and turn infidel ? Gamlblers, ior free-thinkbrs, havn't faith enuff in the profession to teach it to their children. No atheist, with all his boasted bravery, haz ever yet kared to ad vertize hiz unbeleaf on' hiz tumez tun. I never hav met a free-thinker vet who didn't beleave a hundred times more nonsense than he kan find in the Bible ennywhere. It iz alwuss safe to foller the re ligius beleaf that owr mother taut us-there never waz a mother yet who taut hiur child to be an infidel. A man may learn intidelity frum books, and hiz assosiiates, but he kant learn it frum hiz mother, nor the works ov God that surrounded himl. If an infidel could only koinpre hend that he kan prove more bi hiz fIith than he kan hiz reason, Iiz impudence wvould be much less of fensive. Unheleavets are allwas so reddV and anxious to prove their beleat, that I thought they mite he just a leetle doubtful about it t'hemselfs. The infidel, in hiz iImuJ)dence, will ask you to prove that the flood (lid occur, when the poor idiot hi imself, can't tell what makes one apple sweet., 111d one soir or tell why a hen's egg iz vhite, and a dtk's ecg'r bitt. Wien I hear a noizy infidel pro klaiming hiz tinbeleaf, I wonder if he'll send for sim brother infitidel to CuMt and see him die. I guess not. le will be more likely to, Q1endtl the oIrthlodox man who engin eers the leetle brick church ju11.4 ar'ound1( the kornter'. ingenious young man whose ap pearance ini society was not atten decd with the adlvantage which a display of' the evidence of wealth affords, and who had beeni cou rt ing a New York girl for several weeks without making an y visible progress, hit upon nui ex pedient to aid the consumnationl of his hopes. Excusing himself at an i antsally early hour one evenitng he rose to take his departure. 'Going so soon?' adled his fair enslaver' elatedI at the p'rospect of his very early departurxe. 'Yves, I canl't stay any longer. TIhe f'act is 1 have an engngement with my lawyer to-night to make somfe chlanges in miy Will. 'Clara I' shhouted hxer mnhther, w ho overheard the explanation, 'why are yon en (*-u4i t Mr. Smily you know you love him. 'Oh, mamma!' exclaimed the maiden, working up a blush, 'how could you give me away so!, and with girlish abandonment she fell against the waistcoat of Mr. Sini ley, who, as he caught her in his arms, mentally observed: 'I guess I'll pass for a daisy.' Brooklyn Eagle. CONTKST OF WIT.-He who en ters into a contest of wit with a clergyman is likely to find his an t agonist holding his own One day Dr. Whately, Arch bishop of Dublin, was walking with 'a young officer of artillery who was allied to him in blood, when the latter I)ropounded the follo x ing riddle: 'What is the difference, between a donke) and an archbishop?' Whately gave it up, and receiv ed the following rely., 'the one carries his cross behind, and the other before,' referrinr to the marks of the cross on the back of the (domestic ass and on the aplron of an archbishop. 'Very good, indeed,' laughed Whately. 'And now, can you tell ine the difference between a (on key aid' a captain of artillery !' 'No, indeedl, I eannot,' repliod the officer. 'There is none Whatever,' rejoin ed the archbishop. GuEssS I HER AGE-In an Ele varItel Railroad car a modest look ing man was conversing pleasantly with a well dressed Woman. who, perha), might be ca'led a young one, and the conversation grew so Cial and familiar. 'You don't know how old( I am,' saLid the lady. -Ilaven't an idea,' the gentle man sid. 'WTell, now, just guess,' returned1 his companion, when the door (pened and the conductor jut his hieadi in and1 shiou ted , 'forty-two.' The conversation was t urned .-N. Y.'Siun. -ie was senti mental andl she waUs senslible, and' both were on the ;verand~a gazing at the comet. He sighed1 like a furnace and said1 : 'To mec this worldl is so desolate; no one loves mec.' And she, like an angel of mercy, repliedl in flute like t ones ? 'You are mistfaken ; G od l( e you -.he loves all his creat mres.' lie went home before ten. A w~oman's brain is of finer qJulity than that of a man. Fine ness of brain gives quickness of perception, and we see that illuas tratedl in this: A woman can tell what another woman has got on at a glance, whe~reas a mani might study the matter a year' and be no wiser. RICHMOND & DANVILLE R TL0 IT') O PASSENGER DEPARTMENT. On after Dec. 30th,1883, Passenger T['rain service on the A. & C. Air-Line Division will be as follows NorTIWAILD, EXPREcIS No. 51 DAILY. itave Atlann............. 3 33 p, M Arrive Gaineiiville .... ......... 6 09 P M Lida ............... A ...... 0 42 p M Rabt GapJiinell...... 7 37 i M Toccoa.........C...... 8 15 P M S.meca ity.... .D...... 1) 24 PM Central....... .....9 9 M Iibert y.............10 17 p ,%t E asIey ';....................10 31 ir m Greenville .........E .11 02 P M Spartan brg ... F......12 27 A M Gastonia .........(...... 2 29A M Charlotte ......... 1. 3 28 AM NORTHWARD), MAIL, No. U3, DAILY. Leave Atlanta ..................... 8 45 A M Arrive Gainesville........ ...1( 49 A M Lla....... ............1 17 A M Rabum Gakp.Junct ioni. 11 59) P pm Toccoa.................12 3) p M Seneca G ity............. 1 4 1 1, m Central.................... 2 3 1 M Liberty.................... 2 52 P M Ea -le y's .......... ...3:07 P M G(reelnville ............ 3 35 P M Spartanir.. 4 54 s m G-tstonia................... ( 58 M Charo10..tte................. 7 43 j SOUTH WAID, EXI{.SS .No. 50. DA[ILY Leave ('h ilot.t. .............. 2 08a II A !rive Gaston Ia'........,.......... 3 00 a S ......... 14 (I reenville................. 30 a in Ea.... ey.'. ................ . 7 11 a im Libewrt y. .o. .. .. . .. . .. .. .... 7 30 a m ("." I I ralI .. .. .. .. . ... .. .. .. . .. 8 04 a i Senee I City........ 8 :10am T c . .. 0 a Rahtim Gat) -Juneion, 10 35 isall l .... ................S 1 G-o l ' l ....... .... 52 a in Ata h t a -.................. .. 08 1) in ,sU ri WA(CD, M.,ilL, No. *2, DAI LY Lea ve Ch r-lot te.................. . 12 p m Arrive atunia................. 1 5 y i ree nv(; I t e ............... o.. 0 y) E aly s ............... . . 5 53 1) ib. ................. 6 10 p m GIeiut ral ..................... G 32 p m Sei nea cit% ................ 7 05 p m Tos-: o .................... . D m lRabanI Gap .1tunction, 91 '11 p) mll Lula . ............... 1. ) 35 p1 m w.ie v..ile..........10 0. . m Aila t a.................12 23 a mn leC()tlnunodat iont Tr'aini, (Ai r-L ine Belli.) (401N0 NormrI. L(a ve AL! lauata .............. 5 3S p m GOING sour I' . Lve. G aines.villet .................. 7 08 a1 mi A rrive A tlanit a............. 9 05 ai m L4eave (Charlot te - - - 6 12 a im A rrive Gaffney's - - - 11 17 a A4rr-ive Spmai i )1g - - 1 29 p mn Arrive (G reentville - - 4 58 p mn Arrive Central - - - 8 I 5 p mn No. 1 7.--Local Freight, Going Nou th. Leave Cenit ral - - - 4 1 0 a m At rive, Greenville - - - 6 13 a mn Arrive Fp~artaurg - - 9 37 a mn Arrive Ga ffnuey' - - - 12 27 p mi A rrive Charlot te - - - 7 00 p mn Allt freight trains ont 1his r~oad~ carry palssengers. All pasne tral11 ins ru through to Danville and( wit h Va. Mid land I wy, to all Eastern cit ies, and at. Atlanta witt lllines diverging. No. No. 51 aririve's thes e at 4 00 p m. 52 leaves Richmond 1 28 a mn. ~53 arrives there 7 41 a mn. The leecal freightse stop at above stations 20 to 30 minutes. BUFFET SLEEPINGA CARS WiTHl (JUT CH A NGE. On trin No. 50 and .at New Ynek and Atlanta, via Wasinitigton.and Dan ville, Greensboro and Asheville. Oi trains Nos, 52 and03, klehnxd and Danville, Washington and Augu's ta, Washiligton and New Orleans. 4M Through Tickets on sale at 4. harlotte, Greenville, Seneca, Spar, tnbullrg and ainesville to all points South, Soithwest, Noith and East. A, with N E it it to atid from Athens. B, with N E i R to and from Talitt hl FaIll. C, with El. Air-Line, to and trom Elberton and Bowersville. ), with Blue Ridge iR R to and from Waiha1la, &c. E, with C and 0 It R to aud from Newberry, Al4ton atid Columbia.. F, with A and S and S U a1d C R R to and from I Ien(ersonville, Alston &0. (G. with Chester and Lenoir R R to and from Chester. Yorkville and Dallas II. with N C Divisioll and C C and A it it to and from wreensboro, italeitrh, &C. EDMUND BERKLEY, Supt. M. SAUG'rTER, Gen. Pass. Agt. A. L. R IvEs, 2tI V P & Gei. Man'i. ....... . ................ .................. South Carolina Railway Company. [N'olmtleiniig Stimlay, .Jamtitary 20, / 1884, at 4 p) . Passeiger 1rains will I un as follows mtil further notice, "Eastern iime : TO AND FROM CIHA RLESTON. EAST (DA1Y.) Dvepart Colmnbia :it 6 40 a m 5 31 p m Due Chmrlestoni at 11 23 a- m 10 10 " WEST ()A ILY.) Depart Charleato.n 7 00 a n 4 00 p m Due at. (i'olhuinhia at 11 40 " 10 35 " TO AND FOM CA P M DEN. East (Daily ex-ept Sumday.) Depart, Cohmhia at 6 40:a in 5 3 p 11) Duie at. Caindn at 1 5 p mn 8 35 West (Dail exce-pt Siunday.) Depar. Cautmtde1n at. 7 15 a m 4 15 p m lue at0 Columbiat 11 40 "10 33 TO A ND R O. AUh 17:SPA. E:Ist (DIAily.) DIeinrt Ctihn bia at 6 4) a mit 53-1 p ai Dt)e .1( August a at 12 05 p Im 7 10 a Imt West (Daily.) DI-)part Awrtustant 611S a itm 5 10 p im Due1 at Coluimlbi-a at 1 -t1 to 33 CON N E.C PI ONS mtade at Ptloni withi (olumbhia aml Ireenville Riailroad by trajin arriving 11 40 a m, andl departiig tt. 5 34 m. At Gdninba Jctieion "with Clm lotte, Cohnalbia anld Aluguista Rtailr~oa-d by satite I rain to Inld from all 1) its ont A t I rieston wit h Steamers for Ne York on SaLtuirdIay; atnd on Tiues d1ay and Sat urday witht Steamer for Jacksonville andl points on St. Johnm's lhiver; also. with Charlerhston and Sai vanniah itailr'oad to and from SaLvanI nah and aill jioinits int Florida. At. Auigusta with Gteorgia and Cen.. tral R ailiroads to andio fromt all points West and~ Southi. A t Bhickville to andl from poinms on1 Bhirwell Railroad. 'Through t Iickets c~m hie pu rch asedl to all points Mouit h and~ \'Vest by Ualyinig to D). McQUEEN, Agent, Columbia, ~S C. dot N B. P'ECK, GJeneral Maniager. D) C ALLEA~N,(Oen. Pap. and 'k't. Agt GUANO!I GUANO! 'continne to repre'sent the" followintg ODESTA'Bi-SlED~ and POP.. ULLAll BRANIDS of (GUANO AND~ ACIDS. NEVASSA GUANO, NEVASSA ACID NEVASSA Cotton Fertiizer. OltO0 O A II(Aao VtM, Call on mue andl get .rices be. fore you make vourpurchauses. J. R. COSSETT, Agent. Easlev. F"eb. 8, 'A..-tf