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Uley Are Called Operators by Their Employers. THERE IS LITTLE LEVITY Tho Great Switchboard is Like a Vast Network of Nerves Over the Human Body-Sensitive and Alive. Queer Questions They arc Asked. Since girls have been the connect ing link between lines In tho tele phone business, they have boen the subject ol much levity, ami in many instances of uncanny jokes, anecdotes, and witticisms, until tho world at large has conceived the idea that "Thc Hello Girl" is entitled to little, if any. consideration, and that she uses over the telephone language which would he coarse even on the Bowery. To set aside ibis impression one bas but to visit one of the exchanges In this or any other city. The telephone operators are. per haps. Hie most distinctive (lass of breadwinners in the whole category of wage-earning girl?. Hut to get at tho very uniqueness of tho profes sion of the telephone operator it is essential to journey as it were, through one or more of the telephone company's huge OIUccs, where, in stead of being at once brought imo touch with the "Hello Girl" of the world bul who is accorded the more digi) i lied lille of "opel.lier' by her employers--ono is usuallv first shown a numb?r Of great lead covered ?all ies, made np ol' Insulated win s which enter ihe building from the companys Underground system. These ra? dos, each containing hundreds of pairs of wires, spread out, and each pair liasses through lite wonderfully intri cate apparatus where the testing ia done, and finally pass lo lue operat ing room, where tiny terminate in a hugo horseshoe-shaped switchboard. And there like th, men behind the guns, an found the tcp phono girls, WOl'kjng like beavers. No time for any levity. No time tor the fur, which is ii('Credit.ed io them hy the unthought ful. The gr?ai switchboard is like a vast network ol' nervis over the human bod> sensitive and alive. This switchboard has all the lines multiplied throughout, each line num ber appearing on the lac?1 of tho board every six feel in order to enable ..~ ,,, .o,,,.?, ov??rv MMb??HI?e?' house--lil is ......... . hook,' a pair of cords, willi accom panying lamp ', io pla. e lim subscrib ers together, ind ringing keys io in troduce the cur roil i on iii,- subscrib er's lille IO l int; the (? lephoiie hell. A "position'' in telephone parlance is the pince bi i tipled hy an operator. Kat h operator is in ci,urm. of a posi tion, ami hhs le i own individual transmitter and receiver, The posi tions an dividid into groups and are under thc immediate charge of a "supervisor." who is held responsible for tbf service in her section, or di vision by (be i llil i operator. To lake care of requests for all kinds of inform?t ion a separate, switchboard is provided, and is pre sided over by from live to ten attend ants in each exe hangi- Tilla is known as "information." There all things pertaining io direct communications of aifbscribeifl are rod erred. .Am. among linse questions are. round many whh h are peri incut, and loreign as well, to the telephone company's business. A lon.;: list of some ot" these ques tions was given the writer. Hero are some of them. "What ls the nearest way to get to lockington without paying two car fares? 1 am in Georgetown; also at what corners will I transfer? How many minutes apart are tho locking ton cars at G Street ?" "What is the I it li of February?" "H. w ran an bpera?pT tell when a linc is bus;. ?" "ls there skating at the parks?" "Tell mo a few places and give mo the phone numbers ol' them abo, that ?bll foreign souvenirs." "When is the new city hall to be occupied ?" "What ear erin I take to go to Ta koma Bark, and how long will lt take to gel lhere?" "What are the hours of worship at the cathedral?" "What is the postmaster's name at Baltimore?' "Why is the city hall's flag at half mast ?" "Why do 1 receive 'Information' ev ery time I call a lill m ber?" "When is Lincoln s birthday?" Tho man who wears s.de-whiskers ?lld a white tie may be honest, -hut appeal a nee s are against him. Yon can go from New Vork (han to Pittsburg; bul yoi) (ant coiiie au ay that way. South Mond ami the Grecian Bend Uro in nb way related, for .South Bend is Straight. Stage money ls also taint if money. A well-bred man doesn't brag about Arl? donall. Tillman on tho Nominiitlon. In Bpeaking of tho action of the National Democratic Convention Senator Tillman says if the Republi cans nominate Secretary Taft for President, tho Democrats will and probably should nominate Bryan, who, he believes, would beat the Secretary at the polls. If, on the other hand, the Republicans should get into a tangle, out of which should come the nomination of R oosevelt then the Democrats would do well to put Mr. Bryan aside and select some other candidate who could oller opposition to the Presi dent in his policies. This view is based on the argument that Mr. Bryan has so fully endorsed the Roosevelt program that he is inhib ited from joining issue with Mr. Roosevelt as a candidate. Thc Charleston Post thinks there is a good deal in this view, and says "if Mr Roosevelt should be the nom inee of the Republicans thc Demo crats will have to get away from Brvan and Bryanism and they would ?do best, in all likelihood, with a con sorvative candidate, of the type of Judge Gray, of Delaware, or of Jud son Harmon, Ohio. Mr. Harmon, by the way, with his record of the I recommendation of the prosecution of Paul Marton and other oflicials of thc Santa Fe road, as rebaters, which recommendation was rejected by the President, who had appoint ed Mr. Harmon to follow the trail of the railroad offenders, would make a very good anti-R( bsevelt candidate." The Post says "the probabilities are very strong that the Republi cans will nominate Mr Taft and ?the chance of Mr. Roosevelt again heading the ticket is growing less each day. Senator Tillman's view that Mr. Bryan would be the most available candidate against the present Secretary of war is, there fore, thc mest practical estimate of the situation, lt will likely come out that way, and we believe that he is right in his belief that Mr. Brvan would, in that contest win at thc polls." Monument to (jen, Lee. Representative Scott Ferris, one of the youngest men in the house and representing the youngest state in the union, Oklahoma, has intro duced a joint resolution providing for the erection of a monument to the memory of (ion. Robert F. Lee in Washington. The capital city as is well known, is so arranged that numerous parks are formed by the intersection of streets and avenues, and in many in stances, where as many as three or four thoroughfares intersect cir cu ttle parks are lilied to overiiowiiiK with nurses ahd children, thc latter forming probably thc happiest ole cment of the capital city's popula tion. In the (enter of almost every park I is tho statue of sonic eminent Amer ican, or of a foreigner who was a friend of America, such as La Fay ette and Rochambeau. The resolu tion of .Mr. Ferris proposes thc erec tion of such a statue to tho memory of Lee, who is now regarded north, south, east ?ind west as one of the greatest of Americans, While it is not?t all likely that anything will bc (lone about it at the present session of congress, which unfortunately happens to be "before the election," the sentiment set in motion by this resolution will in all probability result in the erection, sooner or later, of such a monument to the memory of the Confederacy's great chieftain. I Teddy's Bet coat. "In other circumstances," says The New York World, referring to the program of palliation recently put forth by Mr. Roosevelt in the form of a message to Congress, "it might be difficult to believe that the hand which no longer ap;o than .Jan uary .'il purposed to 'cut out rotten ness from the body politic' is the ?ame hand that is now so gently mas sageing all the sore spots in the ele ments of political influence." "The message." cont mues The World "fully confirms the report that a Re publican national convention will be held .lune 1(5, and that there will be a Presidential election in November at which my policies are to be sub mitted to tho people." Thc World concludes that "if anybody who votes or contribution to a campaign fund was overlooked in thc prepara of this tionspecial message it was not because Theodore Roosevelt does not aim tO please." We agree with thc Charleston Post that "it is a sad com . mensarv, indeed, on the manners and nuirais of our times that the loudly hailed and vociferously proclaimed discoverer and champion of right eousness in politics should presume to become a timeserver in the expec tation of satisfying thc people of the United States that he is qualified to direct, rule and govern them, lt is not astonishing that Theodore Roos evelt, moralist, should expose Iiis true character thus, because he has done that in ?1 hundred dill'crcnt in stances, truckling to influence which he could hot beat down, but it is a bit startling and and exceedingly de pressing to lind Theodore Roose velt, master politician, concluding that surrender of principle and open concession to adverse interests will preserve his dominance. Will he disprove Lincoln's theory that it is impossible to fool oil the people all tho time*' Quoting Scripture . Thc New York World has publish ed a pamphlet against William J. Bryan, and heads its list of reasons why Mr. Bryan should lay down the party leadership with this quotation from First Samuel: "And every one that was in dis tress, and cverv ono that was in debt, and every one that was discontented gathered themselves unto him; aird he became a captain over them; and there were with him about four hundred men." Tho Kort Wayne, Ind., Gazette says the personage mentioned in thc question is, as everyone knows, David, the son of Jesse, and just why thc Now York World should hold him up as a warning to Mr. Bryan is past comprehension. Indeed, thc prophets of Bryanipm could lind nothing from cover to cover of the Good Book that so aptly fits Mr. Bryan's case, nothing in thc wide range of literature or history, sacred or profane, that forms a more strik ing parallel, or, what was more, justifies more sanguine hope of Mr. Bryan's ultimate triumph. There a good many people who aro in debt distress, millions who arc in bedt (and going broke every day), millions who arc descontented under trust rule, and they have in deed gathered themselves unto William J. Bryan, and he has became a captain over them. But the World should have pur sued the subject further, and have j ecounted what the captain and bis four hundred did. It's all in the book of Samuel, too. Like Brynn touring the world and returning welcomed as no American had been welcomed, David returned from bis wanderings, and boro is what ho and his four hundred did. lloro it is as we hud ii recorded in tho First ao.d Second Books cf Samuel: And David smote (hom from the twilight oven unto the evening of the next day. And David recovered all that the Amalekitcs had carried away. And David took all the Mocks and the herds which they drove before those other cattle, and said, This is David's spoil. In the second book of Samuel, we read: And tho mon of .Judah came and they appointed David king over thc house of Judah. Now there w as long war between the house of Saul and the house of David; but David waxed stronger and stronger and the house of Saul waxed weaker and weaker. Thon came all tho tribes of Israel to David into Hebron and spake, .-.,,.;?.? K,a.,.i,i .??? . ?. / I'iuU niit ? pi Opuv.V? , OJ ?VUO?U i Uli lillment thc American pi opie yvii bcar their uart ru xl November. Al' that is necessary i<> carry out the simile is to lei tho World play tho ride of Saul, and no witch of lindor is needed to foretell the re sult Of thc coming batt le. A Monster Trust. "Ono of the hydra-headed mon sters that have been tightening their hold upon the people," was the way Representative Watkins, of Louisiana, referred lo the paper trust, during a speech In the bou.se. when he advocated tbe removal of the duty on wood pulp. The newspaper, ho argued, was one of the main civilizing agencies of the world, and in this country, "sheds light in 15,000.000 homes" while to-day, he said, inc newspaper industry was working in harmony with organized labor "its operating expenses are higher, because union labor is more expensive than unor gan i zed labor was a few years ago." There was. he charged, a tariff on everything that went to mane a newspaper. "This," he said, "is purely and simply a donation to tho [taper trust and a tax on the news papers and other printing interest )f the country." The newspapers, lie declared, had been patient and long-suffering. "As tho moulders >f publie opinion," ho said, "they L'ould almost cause a revolution ii they would." If the government continued to perpetuate monopolies, he said, "we .viii bid farewell to state rights, to individual liberty, to tho equality of vii mon before tho law, and humble >ur-solvos tn suck cloth ami ashes before the plutocracy of tho coun try, and, as supplicants, bow down leforo tho throngc <?f our riders." Will Obey tin- Rosses. News comos from Washington [hat William Dulaney, the Presi lent's colored messenger, whose linly duty it is also to shave the Pres ident has been transferred from those lowly dui ies to tho navy de partment and placed In the omeo of thc auditor of thal department tit a alary of $1,400 ii year. President [loosevolt oxpoois to go to Oyster Kay for the summer about .lune 'Ji>, uni when ho leaves tho city, Delaney viii lay aside his razor anti will take ip his pen as ti clerk In tho auditor's tfliCO. Ho succeeds a white clerk y ho was reduced from $1,(100 to $800 i year to make room for him. THU president of a Chinese bank vas requested by a large number of lopositors who could not got their noncy Lo commit suicide as tin aol rf expiation for stealing thc funds )f the institution, Too Nour (ho 'I Yon tn. The awful charge ?a now made that I at the recent session of the Ohio re publican convention Messrs. Roose velt and Tatt aided by Congressman Burton "tried to insert a real dem ocratic tarili' plank in a republican platform," General J. Warren Kei fer, a ?land patter, is credited with na. m;; i wi icu tho attempt. Thc charge put out is that Mr. Burton, with the approval of Roosevelt and the Roosevelt candidate, tried to have the Ohio platform charge the tariff with fostering monopolies and trusts. Bryan never had unkinder words than these for the Dingley and McKinley laws, so the republi can reactionaries say. A Washington letter says the Ohio platform's history began in conferences held in the city of Washington in which the presi dent, Secretary Taft, Congressman Burton, and Attorney G?n?ral Wade H. Ellis took part. When the rough draft they completed was turned over to the convention committee on resolutions at Columbus that com mittee struggled with it fora bit, according to the dispatches, and then turned tho problem over to a shb-committee of which Mr. Burton was chairman, and several Ohio congressman members; General J. Warren Kcifer was one of these. The platform as adopted had this tariff plank: "A revision of the tariff by a spe cial session of the next congress, insuring the maintenance of the true principles of protection by im posing such customs duties as will equal the difference between the costs of production at home and abroad, together with a reasonable profit, to the end that without ex cessive duties, American manufac turers, farmers. producers and wago earners may have adequate protection.' ' The story put out is that Mr. Ba ton offered a plank which followed tho sentence demanding revision by thc next congress willi the words, "To the end that the further fos tering of trusts and monopolies by the tariff shall be prevented;" lt is said he assured the sub-committee that he had consulted with the par ty leaders most interested on his plank and that it had their approval. This was accepted as an assurance that the president and Secretary Taft had approved it. Nevertheless General .1. Warren Kcifer offered a prompt and warm protest against talk of fostering trusts and monop olies in connection with the tariff plank of the Ohio republicans and enough of the sub-committee took his view to chloroform the Burton in the family of -lohn G. Capers, internal revenue commissioner, brought action for $0*,OOO damage against Mr, ('luise, alleging that she was ejected from thc theatre at last Saturday's matinee when she pre sented a ticket for an orchestra seat. According io thc petition Hied by the plaintiff she had accompanied Commissioner Capers and his two children, aged 8 and ll years, res pectively, to the play house. Mr. Callers did not. intend to see the performance and left the two child ren in tho care of the nurse after buying tickets for the party. Tho doorkeeper refused to accept tho ticket and. it is alleged, told the nurse to stand aside, whereupon Mr. Capers pushed his way through the litii" tind demanded an explanation. Tho doorkeeper, it is asserted, in formed Mr. Gapers that under the rules he was powerless to admit the woman ?is negroes were not allow ed to occupy seats in the orchestra. While vain protests were being lodged, the nurse, it is alleged, was a victim of "rude" treatment at the hands of one of the theatre employ es. Gapers is backing the woman in her suit. In fact he is said to be the inspiration of it. Gapers intends this as a grand stand play to fool tho negroes into beleiving that he is ;i real negro lover, but it will fail. It proves however that a renegade white man can fall pretty low once he starts down the hill. Living at Home. Under the above caption the Jef ferson Citizen says "suppose every farmer in the entire South should make up his mind to live at home? That is lp say suppose he should de termine to raise till that his family required tis food, all tho corn, fod der, peas, hay, cotton seed, ami ot er supplies and produce nccces sary to carry on his business an a farmer, What would be the result? Try it ono year and wo venture tin? assertion thai you will try it again. Raise what you need to eat, plant a small cot lou crop, and lot your cot ton as far as possible represent what you will spend for clothes and those things that you cannot make or raise on your farm. If you will do this you will soon sec away in wkich you may become independent, Far mers who have tried this plan have succeeded and you eau ?lo the same Think of tho successful fanners around you and you will find they h?i/e already adopted this plan." Evrtr'y word of thc above is as true as preaching, and should tho sug gestion of Tho Citizen bo carried out we would in a few years have the richest country on tho face of tho earth. Our farmers could thensel?or hold their cotton as it suited them. I WHEN HAUY SLEEPS. Some Littlo Points of Vant Impor tance. From the time he ls two months to two years old baby should have Rt leaBt from twolvo to fourteen honra sleep In the twenty-four, the .mount of coutse docreaslng as he ?rows older From two yours until four he should have two hours Bleep durin?; tho day, besides what he has at night. To koop an Infant or young child up late at nlgYit ls abominable, for the nervous habits he develops lu the st limitation of lights and being among peuple at tao time he should be (juiet may never be overcome. Baby should be asleep for the night by seven o'clock, and not later, if ho Is to have the rest necessary. lt la not well to rock him to Bleep, for tho motion ia bad, In spite of what our grandmothers thought and did, says The New York Evening Telegram. It may bring on cerebral eongostlou, as a result of tho enlarged condition of the brain vessels, and tho best way of fixing him for the night is to put him in his crib on cool Bheots and lot him go to sleep alone. It may Lake some time and trouble at first to train him to this, but it can aud should bo done, both for hie sake and that of ti 1B parent?. Lingerie Is Simple, But Fino. The vogue for figured materials hos Invaded the province of lingerie, and although white holds Hs place ot prominence in tho best models, L-i > aie. ....? .,...>?.. .?..,..?, ?.ic?ives tire trimuied bi tho .-ame way. Where they ar? divided they are eau g lit with b?wR of dainty wash ribbon. A gen ii I no high necked go wu ls rare th. ste dtiys, and some of the best Lingerie designers adi. Ugly, but. a conti t omb c ls often elfe, le I by giving a mo lei a high back lind a semi-decoletto front pf those the tupiare cul models are decidedly the m st becoming as is shown in tue model. Don't Cross Your Legs. A most injurious habit, common alike to men and women, la thal of sitting with one lng swung over be knee of the other. Headaches, cold feet, varicose veins, ulcers and many other discomforts attendant on au Imperfect circulation of the blood are direct I) traceable to this habit When the right leg is swung over the lett knee the whole weight 1. sustained by this knee, placing al) the pressure against the under part ul [he righi leg between the calf and tho kine cap. At this very pla.e are a great number of large vein.--, ar teries and nerves; the pressure ou them crowds all the tissues logothei und materially interferes witt) the circulation of the blood, and the disturbance of nature's processes manifests Itself In many bodily evils and Inconveniences. Many who would ?ol be guilty of crossing the 'e^s In public often surrender to thc tempor?r) comfort of the position lu the seclusion of their own tooms, ft lu wrong and Injurious, says Hu Delineator, because it defies nature whose laws are more Imperative than th i se of society. Offenders, Beware! There's a new hatpin that's bound not to conn- out, under any provoca" lion of wind or speed. Where provo cations of this sort uK>st abound, na nn ly. In an automobile, this hat pin gets In Its spolal Innings. It I* In fact, expressly designed tor "mo .oriug" ladies who will not war the I luless hood, and whose more beau tifving hals are not to be kept OU by ordinary straight pins. The new pin ls a long spiral affair, tortuous o behold and getting a {wisted grip On the coi If eur which nothing short of a dynamite explosion or thc clever hand that put lt In- can loos As fl weapon of defense for un pro teeto I fehl!nines this corkscrew bat pill beal, anything yet put on the mnrkc i. As an encouragement when things MC at sixes and sevens itt the busi ness end bf tho hour.e. one woman lins had n board burned with the legend, "liven this will paRs away," and hunK over thc kitchen sink. LUCK WENT BACK ON HIM. Ho Did Nut Count tho Other Sido In? investin/: His Money. "Yes," said Mrs. Taft. 'Tm. afraid Abner's going to bo the un lucky kind." 'she gazed after her BOU'B retreating figure, and sighed BO deeply thnt thc new glimmer boarder looked at her Inquiringly. '"Nothing awful lu thal line " M^s. Taft hastened to say. "I don't mean that. Unt in lit Ho stinging ways, that kind o' take the heart out of ?ihn nud touch his pocket at thu Shine time. I'll tell yon. Most a? soon as ho wont to Boston to work Ab ner fell In love with a glr? that work ed In the sume atoro." "That may have been good, not bad luck," ven tured the newcomer. "In Itself you couldn't say lt waa one ol' tho other," Mrs. Taft said. Impartially. "But the girl lived in one of the towns a little \VR>B out of che city, and soon as he made up bia mind he'd like to koop company with her, Abner up and bought a flfty trlp ticket to her placeT" "Yes, and - " "And got turned down at tho sec ond call," concluded Mrs. Taft, with a wan smile, "und the tlokot loft on his hands."-Boston Ideal, Caste. "Tho late Francis Murphy," said a Pittsburg man, "was perhaps tue greatest temperance reformer our country has over seen. Over 10,000, 000 people thanks to his labors, took tho pledge. "Mr. Murphy. a plain, sincere man, lnilcd snobbishness hardly loss than drunkenness. At a dinner In Pitts burg I mice heard him rebuke, with a little ahoodoio, a snobbish million-, aire. "Ne lhere was a rich and snobbish Rngllsh woman living in the country. Her husband put him self up for a political placo, and In order lo help his campaign along the vvoinan gave ?1 garden party to which every voter for miles around was In vited. "Among the humble guests was a very independent grocer. The grocer made himself quite at homo. No duke's manner could have been easier and freer. Indeed, tho man's total lack of subservience angered his host ess extremely, so that In the end. thinking to take him down a peg. sh? said to him significantly: " Von know. Mr. Greens, In Lon don shopkeepers don't go into tho best society." "The grocer looked at her, and nodded and smiled. " 'They don't lw?r<? plthoi" nui'ain * .woli,ci, sn.tn 1 .-5.i.< in) pruyor or nurse's prayer?" The nm! her. not being aware that I ho nurse ever said any morning prayer, became curious. "Say nurse's dear," she answore Whereupon the lillie fellow beg! solemnly. "Lord, O Lord, have I got to g tip?" Bumping (bc Humps. Digby- How long did lt take you to learn to run a motor cur? Bkorchor O! live or six. Digby -Five or six what? Weeks? Skoreher No, motor cars. Cath olic Standard. Billiards Dclined. John Horgan, the champion pool player, told at a dinner In St. Louis u billiard Htory. "Hilliards ls a taino amusement / beside pool," Mr. Horgan began. ' "Two Hindoos were once discussing the game In Calcutta, and 1 think that their Idea of lt was pretty near tho right one. " 'What is thia white man's gamo of billiards that 1 hear so much about?' Bald tho llrst Hindoo. "'Don't you know?' said the sec ond. " 'No, Tell me.' " 'Well,' said tho second Hindoo, 'hilliards ls a very simple game. Two men armed Wi til long sticks poko at a hall on a green table, and one says "dam" while the ?thor saya "hard linos." ' Tho Painless Dentist. "My work," remarked ihn bald headed dentist, "ls so painless that my patients often fall asleep 'n tho ( hair while I am operating. ' "ililli, that's nothing, r"tor ted his uval. "My patients nearly jill tt.slst on having their pi ?toro taken Willie I am at work, in order to catch tho expression of delight on their faces."-London Tit-Ult?.