The Bamberg herald. (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, December 30, 1920, Page 2, Image 2
Cjje pamberg Jieralb!
EST A BUSHKI> APRIL, 1891.
j
Published Weekly at Bamberg, S. C. I
HJntered as second-class matter April |
1891, under Act of March 3, 1879.
$2.00 PER YEAR.
Volume 29. No. 53.
Thursday, Dec. 30,1920.
^.et's Laugh^
Pro and Con.
Some folks go to the movies to get
the thrills they never have in real
life; others go to forget the real excitements
they have had.
Cries of "Hangar, Hangar!"
First Sweetie: "He inherited lots
of money and he's a high flyer, but
he's so- terribly homely."
Second Sweetie?"Sort of an heirplain,
huh?"
The Reason.
"There goes Simpkins. I wonder
why he walks so fast."
"He says shoes are too expensive
nowadays not to make them work."?.
(Cartoons Magazine.
Yes, Indeed.
"When I began business on my
own account I had absolutely nothing
except my intelligence."
"Indeed, that was a small begin- ,
ning."?Fliegende Blaetter (Munich).
Plugs and Horses.
Of course it is some trouble to
clean a spark plug, but do you remember
what a task it was to get
over an entire horse with a brush
and curry comb?
\ _
Easy Solution.
Mistress?"Bridget, you have brok*
-en as much china this month as your
wages amount to. Now how can we
(prevent this occurin gagain?"
Bridget?"I don't know, mum, unless
you raise me wages."?Edinburgh
Scotsman.
A Scarcasm From the Legit.
"All that motion picture lacks is
4;he mere matter of human speech."
"Well," replied Mr. Stormington
tBarnes, who never will forget the
palmy days, "that's all a deaf and
dumb asylum lacks."?Washington
Star.
Light on the Matter.
"This paper says that*the human
system contains sulphur."
"In what amounts?"
"Oh, in varying quantities."
"Well, that probably accounts for
?ome girls making better matches
than others."?Boston Transcript.
Not Expert.
New Maid?"I am very sorry to say
tVio mifitrp?s is fillt."
bAXUiV ViiV ?
Visitor?"Why are you sorry to say ;
it?**
New Maid?"Because I am not ac- "
customed to fibbing."?London Opinion.
*
Consideration Assured.
"Is your wife going to follow your
advice as to how she will vote?"
"I think so," answered Mr. Meekton,
if I exercise my usual precaution
and find out exactly what her ideas
are before I offer my advice."- Washington
Star.
Polite Hint.
Customer?"I say, do you ever
play anything by request?"
Delighted Musician?"Certainly,
sir."
Customer?"Then I wonder if
you'd be so good as to play a game of
dominoes until I've finished my
lunch."?Punch (London).
TTvru>f>tatiniic
iHVV una, ii.?rv vwviv.x
The cherry caller tried to persuade
old Aunt Martha not 'to dwell upon
her troubles, telling her she would
feel happier if she ignored them.
"Well, honey," said the old lady, "I
dunno 'bout dat. I alius lowed when
de Lord send me tribulation he done
spec' me to tribulate." ? Boston
Transcript.
His Miscalculation.
"It dess goes to show, sah," confessed
Brother Buckaloo. "It bodaciouslv
shows how a smaht man can
be mistook. I done riz in miih indignitude,
dor in de business meeting' I
feelin' dat uh-kaze de Lawd and dej
prophets was wid me I had de ma-!
jority on muh side. But?huh!?all |
de rest of 'em was ag'in me and dev
fust howled me down and den th'ow- I
ed me out. And so dar will be an
awgin and a fiddle in de church atter
dis, spite o' de fact dat me and de j
Lawd and de prophets knows it's
wrong, and done said so to de best of
our debility."
J
%
Sad Remembrance.
Passengers on a branch line rail
road (to conductor) ? Why does th<
engine always let out such a piteoin
howl when we pass this spot?
Because it was here the .enginee;
met his first wife.
Ye Old Tyme Humor.
Two knaves walking past a gal
lows: said the one: Xow Pedro, when
would ye be if yon gallows had it:
due?
Second Knave?Walking alone
Aaolphus. walking alone.?Ex.
Not Just the Same.
"Do you find married life th(
grand, sweet song you expected?"
"Well, it is at least a glad refrain.'
"Refrain?"
"Yes; I'm called upon to reiran
from smoking, refrain from cards, re
frain from going to the lodge, anc
when there isn't anything in particular
to refrain from, just to refrain."
A Complete Outfit.
"Say, waiter," the peeved diner exclaimed*
"a steak that is like a piece
of leather is bad enough, but why dc
you bring me a knife that is as dull
as a hoe at the same time?"
"Well, sir," the waiter explained
kindly, "you can use the steak tc
strop the knife on, and then you can
use the knife to cut the steak."
Very Mysterious Plays.
"Charley, dear," said young Mrs.
Torkins, "do you remember how you
laughed at me because there were
some things I didn't understand
about the ball game?"
"Yes."
"Well, after reading some of the
^ _
*MjP White
I ffSWrffll Feelinf
Mack's D
BAMBERG, SC
Money hoarded is idle
Money deposited in tl
for Credits of several ti
These Credits help th
VX _ _ _ -V* vil o vir< +
IXoeuuiiSii UUIIUII piana, u
the Manufacturer and !
| sential Business.
Besides being always
funds are safer and pal
posited with us.
I RESOURCES OVI
I txAViKi65 A6COOWTS
! recent news, I want to ask you, as
-, man to woman, weren't there some
3 things about that game that you
si didn't understand either?"?Waah!
ington Star,
r!
A Quick Shave.
I A man came running into a barber
shop and said to the barber, who hapa
| pened to be an Irishman:
| "Shave me as quick as you can; I
j want to catch the next car."
j
I Pat, the barber, hustled and soon
, I
j had the man shaved, when he said:
I "Well, you did a quick job!"
"Yes," said the barber, "but I could
a have shaved you quicker than that if
I had had a little more time."
A Mother Mislaid.
1 Into the county clerk's office in an
- Ohio town came a lad with a most
I woebegone expression. He finally ap
proached an officer and said: "Have
you seen anything of a lady around
ftereV"
"Why, yes," said the officer with a
smile. "In fact I have seen several."
j "Have you seen any without a little
? boy?" continued the lad.
[ "Yes," said the officer.
"Well," continued the youngster,
t evidently relieved, "I am the little
> boy. Where's the lady?"
L
Long-Time Engagements.
The taxicab driver turned at the
. end of the second hour and eyed his
i client suspiciously.
i "Are you taking me by the hourj
or by the day?" he asked
"By the year," responded the haggard
passenger." I'm looking for a
! home!"?Pearson's Magazine.
Teeth, Healthy Gums,
id a Clean Mouth
>PLE who use Kleazo Dental
reme regularly, tell us that it
their teeth white?their
firm?and their mouths
y, clean, and comfortable,
that Cool, Clean, Klenro
Klenzo is a safe dentifrice,
red by the dental profession
e it does all that" any
VUgUb kU uv/.
NTA L
CREME
250 =/
rug Store
>UTH CAROLINA.
! and useless. |
le Bank becomes the basis I
mes its own amount |
e Government to carry on I
he Farmer to grow Food, I
Merchant to carry on Es- I
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triotically employed if de- ?
ER $1,000,000.00 J
gllllllllllllllllilllilllillllillllilliii
I Contentment
What a wonderful b
( old folks happy and <
Jj ter of their lives. T1
/M M Piro^r
,|p luiiicdd tu men ojroieu
(J many years back.
| You too, can attain tF
1 ment by starting a SJ
J right now. Come to <
| let us show you ho1
J and to have.
1 BAMBERG, SOU
j A. M. DENB(
jj C. W. RENTZ, SR.,
H w. S. BAMBERG, Vice Presidf
XX I
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In Old Age j !
lessing it is to see the j J
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ley owe their cheer- I S
natic savings, started 1 J
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tat feeling of content- | i
WINGS ACCOUNT 1 ]
n zzznz a
our bank at once and I 1
w easy it is to save Jj J
% mmSSm J
TH CAROLINA }m
)W, President' M
C. W. RENTZ, JR., |
;nts Cashier. ||
P it
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