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* '* Humor : Today * Keeps It. The man who cannot take a joke, To be a bore has grown; But worse is he who takes your joke | And tells it as his own. ?Town and Country. t Had Just Refused Him. "He looks awfullv blue. What's the : i ^ matter with bin::" "Heart trouble," replied the girl, somewhat consciously.?Chicago Post, * Did He? "Did Jerroid get anything out of kis rich uncle's estate?" "Well, rather?he married the daughter of the attorney for the estate."? Puck. Tommy Knew. "Do you know anything about the Mormons, Tommy:" asked the teacher. % "Yes'm," replied the boy. "with the . Mormons a wife if. sometimes twins." ?Chicago Post. Carried Off the P?lm. Patience?"He always Goes the right thing at the right time." ** Patrice?"Wnat's he done new?" "Why, he asked for her hand down at Palm Beach."?Yoakars Statesman. _ His Diagnosis. "How is your friend, the poetT* "Much worse?" "Much worse! I didn't know he had been sick." "Hasn't: he's been writing, thoughV* * --New Orleans Times-Democrat Wslkiuc the Floor. Hewitt?"Ycu don't take any of those five-mile walks that you used to take before you were married." Jewett?"Oh, yes, I do." Hewitt?"When do you take them?' j Jewett?"Nights?with the bat>y. ? ** Tudga. v ???~. ? I!oon For the Men. "Did you say he grew rich through a patent of Lis own?" "Yes; be invented something that ; made a woman think sbe was still monopolizing the conversation?long after she bad really stopped talking." > ?Detroit .Vree Press. It 3Iak?s a Difference. "Why," they askeu, "have you ceased to be outspoken in your opposition to gambling?" "Because," replied the property owner, "I have discovered thp.t too much reform would put some of my tenants where they couldn t pay rent."? Chica. " go Post. TVi1 h~ ilnongh. "Bess," said the poor beggar. "It you could only give me a little J v help " "I'd like io help you. poor man," j said Cholly Sophtley, "but I'm afraid ! - - - _i?J. ..... i haven r anyuuug ucuu;. uju-?uu>, i "wait! Can you change a \c'i: "dollar [ note;"?Philadelphia Press. Viewpoints. Cobwjgger?"What are yen crying j about, my dear*;" - Mrs-. Cobwigger?"I hare just been reading the old love-letters you sent me before wo were married." k * Cobwigger?"That's funny. I was p reading them myself the other day and they made me laugh."?Judge. Variety. * Visitor?"And what do you boatmen do In the winter*;" Boatman?"Watch the tide a-comin' ' in, mum." Visitor?"And when you are not doing thai?" Boatman?"We watch it a'goir." out agin, mum."?Ally Sloper's 1. . .io!iday. Fnll of IIii?self. "Hamm has got a job at last with a j ctrtflr f-nmnsiiv. I hear." ? to- , "Yes, and lie .Links ae's the only : thing." "That so." "Weil, I should say. Why. whenever he hears,anybouy talking about 'a dramatic situation' he thinks iii.y mean i his." A Jollier One. Mr. Gtiscii?"lieally, Miss Ydise. I never knew anyone so joliy as you." Miss Wise?"Sir! You forget yourself." Mr. Gtiscli?"Er?beg jardou?I don't understand " * Miss Wise?"I say you forget yourself. You are a jollier."?Phil:; i ;>hia Press. An Ingenious Plea. "Your lienor,' said the cou.I.'.oace man, "the man who tempts ano.her , to do wrong is as bad as the mail who X does wrong, isn't he?" v "I believe.it has oeeii so held." "Well, then, rend that hayseed to jail. He's such a fool that he just * v tempted me to flim-flam him."?Chicago Post. Prlie Interceded. ?, "Why did she marry him? He hasn't any money." "I know, but she has plenty." "But he hasn't any brains either." 1 " "True, too. But people kept telling her how stunning they looked together till she just couldn't bear the idea of letting him get array."?Detroit Free Press. . About the Size of One. "is that a chicken?" asked a boarder dismally. ? "Of course," replied the landlady. "What did you think it was?" "A canary," answered the boarder., as he counted the number of people to * be served and made a mental calculation as to the size of the slice that he " ? might ex;>eet.?Chicago Post, ?. IN OLD NEW AMSTERDAM. Primitive Appliances With Which the Dutch Fought Fire. The earliest appliance for fighting fire in New Amsterdam was the leathern fire bucket, several of which are yet preserved at the headquarters of the Exempt Firemen, 10 Jefferson Market The leathern fire bucket is, of course, collapsable and unbreakable. Tbese were passed from hand to hand by the "bucket brigade," one of the earliest organizations of volunteer firemen. Fifty of these buckets were kept in the old Stadt Huys, and 100 were distributed in various places about the old Dutch city. This primitive method of fighting fire is still in use in many small country towns, where water mains and hydrants are unknown. ADout nzo a lumDering nana engine was invented. The one shown in the cut is "Washington No. 1," and was the first fire engine used in Brooklyn. It was a square, clumsy Brooklyn's First. Fire Engine. tank, or box, from which the water was pumped by hand through a pipe, or ?pcut, projecting a short distance from the top of the machine.?New York Times. HOLDS BODY NINE YEARS. Undertaker Is Still Waiting for Em* balmed Mammy to Be identified. A man who is believed to have belonged to a noble English family died from exposure in Wayne nine years ago and his body still lies unclaimed In the morgue of S. P. Frankenfield's Sons, says a dispatch from Ardmore, Pa. Mack was employed for several years by R. H. Johnson, a contractor of Wayne. He was a man of education and culture, and, according to rumor, was the heir to a British title which, for some mysterious reason, he would not or could not claim. When the man died J. S. Pearce, at that time an undertaker, but who has since retired, embalmed the body and decided to hold it until it should be claimed. No one ever claimed it, and, as the embalming was unusually successful, a number of efforts have been made by museums to purchase the hntfv hut Mr. Pearce savs he will nut surrender it except to some, member of Mack's family. The body has been viewed by thousands of people, many of them Englishmen, who hoped to identify it. The skin retains its natural color, and the sandy mustache and hair remain as in life. The nose has become unnaturally sharp from having, been pinched by people who doubted if the man was really dead. Over the head of the mummy a cuckoo clock is kept going to keep him from getting lonesome. Preferred to Throne.* This is the ^favorite chair of King Edward of England. A Glass Road. X'-i. 1 . +V 1 l\Ul ItlUbl. <lUi?ug IUU WUUUCI 3 UL U1C National Yellowstone Park are the singular obsidian cliffs. They are formed of a volcanic glass, that, in Color, resembles the cheap green bottles of commerce. They rise in, almost,' vertical columns, which, though opaque, glisten like jet. At- their base is a road, probably unique upon the globe. It consists entirely of glass, and is a quarter of a mile long.- To construct it large fires were built upon the obsidian mass. Cold water was then dashed on the heated surface, causing it to crack and crumble to pieces. This tedious undertaking, finally, resulted in a roadway that is the admiration and wonder of all who behold it. Pretty Work on Typewriter. / \ Ttbant'sheaduact-jdyfroaactnllife. Tiefcaltlaaofef wWi rub, tb* of tW ij? with utuub, I sadltw whiikert with the u?^cr?irr.^? Algerian Exports. Algiers exports to France every year about $200^60 worth of date* and $400,000 worth of olive oil. - ... . .....: . .-> THE KING OF ELMti. Little Town of Wethersfield Boasts of Splendid Tree. What is said to be the largest elm in New England and one of the greatest trees east of the Rocky Mountains is in the historic little town of Wethersfield, famed for its onion gardens and its prison. Tlie elm stands on the lower end of the old town square, opposite the Smith house, still occupied by descendants of John Smith, who planted the tree over 170 years ago. At the base where some of the massive roots, as they radiate from the trunk, protrude above the surface, the circumference is 55% feet, while the main trunk above the ground is 22% feet in circumference. According to Oliver Wendell Holmes' classification of elms, this would come easily within the first class, and with something to spare, for all elms with a girth of twenty feet a short distance above the ground he catalogued as of the first order of size. New England, with its multitude of great elms, can show few whose measurement from two to four feet above the surface will be twenty feet. Four huge branches spring from the trunk of the Wetherfield tree. Each one of them would make a big tree in itself. Copy of Bible of 1534. An old German Bible, a copy of the erne translated by Martin Euther in 1534, was purchased recently at a paltry price by a Seattle nan from a stranded German sailor. The book is said to be of priceless value. The present owner is a reader of the Scriptures. He has been offered a large sum for the book, but refuses to part with it until he- has read it through. The volume was printed in Nuremberg in 1720. * It is a foot thick, and is printed on very heavy paper. Despite its age it is well preserved and the type is as clear as if it had been set yesterday. The many illustrations, splendidly made from old-fashioned wood-cuts, are copies of old paintings. Odd Pets. r w Though lizards have teeth the little saurians seldom attempt to bite and make interesting pets. This boy's mother decorated him with nineteen of them. ........ . ' Art Work of a Prince. Servia does not impress outlanders as being a country given over to;.sentiment, but there will be a little bit qf this in the crown which is to adorn the brow of the new King Peter. It is being mace by a cousin of the monarch, Prince Bojidar Karageorgewitch. This gentleman, who has made his residence in Paris since his youth, is a talented art metal worker. Aa exhibit of small articles made by him, belt buckles, paper cutters, combs, hairpins and spoons has been made recently in one of the art salons of Hamburg. The work is chiefly in natural designs of flowers and leaves done in relief. There is one particularly graceful anemone design which forms the handle of a spoon, the bowl of another is a delicately worked leaf, and still another is in the form of a daisy, the foliage shown at the end of the handle. Highest Waterfall in the World. The highest known waterfall in the world was the Cerosola cascade, in the Alps, having a drop of 2,400 feet. But one in the San Cuayatan canyon in the state of Durango, Mexico, now claims first place. It was discovered by some prospectors ten years ago in the great barranca district, which is called the Tierras Desconocidas. While searching for the famous lost mine Naranjal. a great roar of water was heard. With much difficulty the party pushed on and up and down the mighty chasm until they beheld the superb fall, which is said to be at least 3,000 feet high. Has Held Office Long. Speaking of long records as a town selectman, C. M. Washburn of Greene, Me., has a pretty good one. He was recently elected for his 25th year. CATARRH IS THI OF MOST KIDI ^PE^WJ^NA CUR! Samuel R. Sprecher, Junior Beadle Court Angelina. uS If 3422, I. 0. 0. F., 205 New High St., Los Angeles, Cal., \^Q "I came here a few years ago suffering with ca- K tarrh of the kidneys, in search of heal th, I thought \ the climate would cure me, but jound I was mis- t\ taken. But what the climate could not do Perunu - , could and did do. Seven weeks' trial convinced S me that I had the right medicine, and I wa,s then U a well man. I know of at least twenty Jrlends and ? members of the lodge to which 1 belong who have [j been cured cf catarrh, bladder and kidney trouble | through the ttse of Per una, and it has a host of HI friends in this city.??SAMUEL R. SPR ECHER. 6a Catarrh of the Kidneys a Common Dis- and that remedy. The ^-Kidney Trouble Often Fail, to Be Recorded as Catarrh by Physi- _ _ ~ Pe-rn-na Removes the Kidney Trot Catarrh o. the kidneys is very common Peruna strikes at the v indeed. It is a pitv this fact is not better difficulty, by eradicating known to the physicians as well as the the Sidneys. Catarrii is I nAAnln o xi ,, , , Iicv uimcujiv. fttuw?c bj People have kidney disease. They take remove the effect. With \ some diuretic, honing to get better.. Ibey peruna goes right to the never once think of catarrh. Kidney dis- nejrs are soon doing theii ease and catarrh are seldom associated in ?ect regularity, the minds cf t^e people, and, alas, it is , r _ not very often associated in the minds of lflOUSanuS 01 ief the physicians. TOO few physicians recog- Thousands of testimon nize catarrh of the *.idnevs. /They doctor who have had kidney di for something else. They try this remedy gone beyond the control CURES DYSPEPSIA, SICK HEADACHE, BILIOUSNESS, NEB TYNER'S DYSPEPSIA REMEI FREE BOOKLET. Write, Box 138, Atlanta, Ga. ASK YOU aHaHannHHBaHBanKaHMnMnnMam yg|STORE FROI 77' . v, ,/g; For all kinds and sixes of Store Buildings. Wo fnrnish a into the coustruetion of Store.Fropt*. "Write us about yi Li Li U L U L in* end state dimensions nn<l style or front and we will se fi SLW_ U JaLfsj I'HABdK, an eleput Blue Phot Plan, and quote you rffir^Trm P**ce on one ?* our popular Beautiful, Everlas """ ilntnia' 11 ilftrSl I Modern Store Fronts. We jrfve you all the style of an ele Mi (Chicago xtore at moderate <:ost. .' end lor Catalogue. SOUTHERN FOUNDRY CO., Owensbo BmP When you are at a loss to know what to i luncheon?when you crave something hot Food Product Among the many Libby delicacies are Bonieless Chicken. Melrose Pate, Veaj Loaf, Peerless Wafer-Sliced Dried Beef. Potted Ham and Corned Beef Hash, etc.?wholesome foods that are as dainty as tbcy are good? as substantial as they are appetizing. i Ask your Grocer lor Libby's. Libby. McNeill & Libby Chicagi I Mai ?rv iSAWIVIILLfetM with Hege's Universal Log Beams,Reetllln-M h\ jOStu rOrSTtll M. ear, Simultaneous R&t Works and the Hea-B * cock-King Variable Feed Works are unez-l celled for acouaacr, simplicity. du*a?il-B itt and itask op opekatiox. Write for full descriptive circulars. Manufactured by theH W/ I ^ SALBMIROKWORKSl.Wlnrton-ftalem.N.C.l ? Dropsy 1 mm f Removes all swelling in 8toao # ?/ days; effects a permanent cure I?< fl Q*| ft pc |A in 30 to 60 days. Trial treatment -* * ? ^ Illvuj *<! _ wi ZmSIs. given ^ree. Kothingcan be fairer Write Dr. H. H. Green'* Sons, Wow /VI ^*r< > '**' Specialists, Box B Atlanta, Ga. e^Cl W ATI Give the name of this paper when AND ALL KINDS OF writing to advertisers?(At25-04) Complete line carried Iff MEDIA TE th I -_J.-re^JIL "*f< *schfc#ry? Lowest Price 11 t WsBuRtWrite us for cats: er**totta?e.syg,id etc.. before buying. I Wejj!?rN^s?e Thomptoi 7 .tSV.- "..V' >>"" J 'I*,--. :>**/<*; 2 CAUSE 1EY DISEASES. I 2S CATARRH. ll Captain James L. Dempsey, Captain 2nd Precinct ~v?la Troy Police Force, writes from 198 Ferry St., Troy, N. Y., as follows. 7 "Front my personal experience with Per and 21 am satisfied it Is a very fine remedy for catanhr' jjgH al affections, whether of the head, lungs, stow*~ oc/i or pelvic oryans. It cures colds (fuickky,' - >&3g and a /etc doses micen afer undue exposure iv.:^S| prevents illness. f "Some of the patrolmen under me have a*#w i found great relief front Peruna. It has cured, ' cJrronlc cases of kidney and bladder troubles, j 7^7 restored men suffering from indigestion ana' rheumatism, and I am fully persuaded that .it i'SjaSO is an honest, reliable medicine, ttence, 1 fully endorse and recontmcnd it. <*> -1 ?JAMES L. DEMFSET, ||M Officer A. C. Swan son writes from 607 Harrison St., ' ?H| Council Biuffs, la., as follows: ''As my duties compelled me to be out in all kinds 1 of weather 1 contracted a severe cold from time to & <3?; I time, which .settled in the kidneys, causing severe ^|$p | pains and trouble in the pelvic organs. " -5 | "1 am now like a new man, am in splendid '%j?& rl ffW health and give all praise to Peruna."?A. C.^ I H * -jgBHi I :>JlM CAPTAIN JAMES L. DEMPSEY. 1 U ssaEssssssssssssssszzsssssssasBEasssssMaossssEssssszsBSSsssii^V r t^g^M "l^3tm1 trouble may be are received by Dr. Hartman every yetr, ^ ^ l few bottles of giving Peruna the whole praise for maiv^ f|| velous cures. . ^ ? Cause of the Pe-ru-na Cures Kidney Disease. lble. - Peruna cures kidney disease. The reason % ^ ery centre of the ^ cures kidney disease is because it ciw^3h.;.p| the catarrh from catarrh.' Catarrh of the kidneys is 'the the cause of kid- cause of most kidney disease. Peruna 'yflPffi le cause and you cures catarrh wherever it happens to be lo~ ;S ;~-l|| 1 spot.ng TheU k^ ff you do not derive prompt and satia-'-^8 7ss work with per- factory results from the use of Peruna, ^ ^jj| - . | full statement of your case, and^he wiH^ Jg romoniais. be pleased to give you his valuable advice*ials from people gratis. $| sease which had Address Dr. Hartman, President of The^JS ':3l of the physician ! Hartman Sanitarium,- Columbus, 0. ifxS VOUSNESS | FREE to WOMEN 1 >Y Bowels* I A Large Trial Box and book of. to- f Jl , druggist.] rtructlons absolutely Free^aad^Poatj *||?| l|XC PaxtineToiletAntiseptic ioPaxtir idteo7,wd5 ' our proposed buil\? I Wai*T non-poiaon(MM L'dvuu, FIIEEOF i^|nna& and fsr superior to liqnid '-?BE *L extremely low ' rmm^ ^HSm antiseptics containing \JSKJ / pT^r^Ki alcohol which Irritates tine inflamed surfaces, and SS ?? * * <>r au^ ss^^aasai ;i| ro,Kentucky ^ttoep^ic^S % The formula of a noted Boston physiciaiw | ,) and used with great success as a Vaginal; ,|MI lyfe 7 Wash, for Leucorrhcea^elvicCatarrh, Nasal I I Wj \ Catarrh, Sore Threat, Sore Eyes, Cub? 1 and all soreness of mucus membrane, i Ifij In local treatment of female ills Paxtineis *>3jgfr'S I ml invaluable. Used as a Vaginal Wash we ^BB IV/ challnrurA tbA world to nroduce its eonal far rQT \ '/ I thoroughness.. 11 is a revelation in cleansir? v'Jjj \ ( i and healing power; it kills all germs'whica ;^ ^| \ \ canse inflammation and discharges V-'" ""y / \ All leading druggists keep Paxtine; price, 60S (At abox; if yours does not, send to ns for It. Dotffc ,tt|g? S y* i take a substitute ? there is nothingllkeP&xtins i?sM"; I?\ I "Write for the Free Box of Paxtine to-dayv VYli E. PAXTON CO., 7 Pope BldgM Boston, Mass. ?rre tor VAI BAD BREATH J r Q "Tor months I had great trooble with my stomach t"4* . and njed all kind* of medicines. My tongue haa . i?W been actually a* green aa grass, my breath baring xM rGL u bad odor. Two weeks ago a friend recommended &S& VJtjnJ JL I Cascarets and after nsing them I can willingly and -~it3U *P ! cheerfully say that tuey bare entirely en red see. I ! therefore let y?n know that 1 shall recommend . ^SBH -JTivr& ' them to any one suffering from such troubles."* . yaw | Chas. H. halpun, 109 Kirjngton 6t.,Jfewko*k,X.Ik ) ? ^3r The Dowels ^ rQDCOMto i Jr Pleaaant, Palatable. Potent. Taste Good. Do Good, * '. i Kerer Sicken. Weaken or Gripe. He. 8c. ttc. bierST .^ ^CTer 1 sold In bnlk. Tha genuine tables stamped CGCw . j'-fg PWvj i Guaranteed to cure or your money back. ^ MWr Sterling Remedy Co., Chicago or N.Y. 53(8 oglj _ IWUIIII All P TPH UIIIIAU BAVlfd - ".T^B IgfillB AWBUJIL OALCf I EH Wtfi . ^ HE skem-wmi | ationary tire States of iHsers' 11 MACHINERY ASBJ^*Jpac inc^ fM inttockfor sad Best Terms No trouble to answer questions. Wk miles '; shortest route Shrereport to Bailee. Write 'v$9 .1, r,4 Ufafe. 'or new book on Texas, free. E. P. TU8NEB, 11 "t Wllff General Passenger Agent, Dallas, Texas.