University of South Carolina Libraries
' FLAGS ON THE CAPITOL, ""j j [What It Mfann When They Arc Fly inc at Half Maxt. The flying of tings over the capitol at half mast is regulated by the strictest rules. Whenever these flags are seen floating half way down the mast It Is a sure indication that a vice president, senator or representative is lying dead or that the action is taken in response to a presidential proclamation ordering the flags on public buildings at half mast in respect to the memory of some J prominent official of the government j who has passed away. When the sergeant at arms of the senate or house of representatives learns of the death of a member of either of those bodies, he at once orders that the flags over the senate chamber or hall of representatives be half masted. This is often done before the houses of congress themselves are officially notified of the death. A good deal of discretion is exercised in the manner of placing the news of a death of this kind officially before the senate or the house. Upon such an announcement it is customarj' for the houses to adjourn in respect to the deceased senator or representative, and in order that the current business may not be stopped early in the day the announcement is generally made just before the houses are ready to conclude their day's work. Officers of the senate and house when they fly the flaps at half mast in response to a proclamation by the president regard their action as one of courtesy, as they do not recognize the power of the president to order congress to do anything except to assemble in extraordinary session. They have always responded to the requests of such proclamations. It would be a nice question, if one could imagine that it could ever be raised, to know to what extent the president's authority would allow him to order flags at half mast on the capitol. While his authority would not extend over the employees of the senate and house, yet the capitol itself for many years was li^fact controlled exclusively by him so far as the care of the building is concerned, and the superintendent of the building is today appointed by him without confirmatory action on the part of the senate. As a matter of fact, the capitol has for years been under the direct control of the committees on appropriations of the two houses of congress, but that control has been accorded them by the railure or tne president to give uuy wders to the architect or more lately to the superintendent of the capltol. If he should order that official to fly flags over the capltol at half mast and the order should be disobeyed, he would have power to dismiss him and appoint Borne one else in his place without the concurrence of either branch of congress, except so far as the appropriation for the official's salary would be Involved. These are practically moot questions, but they occasionally form Interesting subjects for fireside talks when flags are half masted in responso to presidential proclamations.?Washington Star. Thnnb Nail Pictures. In collections, centuries old, to be seen in both China and Japan are specimens of the most remarkable drawings in the world, pictures of all kinds drawn with the thumb nail. The nails of the thumbs on the left hands of the artists of these are allowed to grow to an enormous length, sometimes to a foot or eighteen inches, and are then pared down to a pen shaped point Dipping this oddly constructed pen in beautiful vermilion or sky blue Ink, the only kinds of ink used in these a 1- 41 -a?? sacreu luurnu uuu urtt?xii^?, mc uiuac | gracefully outlines his work. Occasionally the bold touches from the studio of a master in this department of "high art" are life size and are sketched by a few sweeps of the artist's arm. Like other pictures and sketches of the orient, these sacred thumb nail pictures are mounted and rolled up like scrolls. Some Words. According to the late Richard A Proctor, says the London Chronicle, the phrase "I guess," to English ears so ridiculous, is really Identical with the old expression, "I wis," meaning "I know." The word "guess" has changed its meaning entirely in England, but has partly preserved it in America, where of course the native says "I guess" when he Is more or less In a state of certainty. There are many other examples of words that have played fast and loose with "g" and "w," such as "guardian" and "warden," "guard" and "ward," "guichet" and "wicket" A Conncienee Jcr. "Did you ever stop to think, my love," said Mr. Micawber, gazing at his plate of lobster salad, "that the things we love most in this life are the very things that never agree with U6?" "Will you be so kind, Micawber," said Mrs. Micawber, straightening up. "as to tell me whether you are speaKIng of the salad or of me, sir?" RecklesnneKK of a Drelnner. Old Stager?I see this is your first campaign. Candidate?It is. How did you guess It? Old Stager?You are distributing real Havana cigars.?Chicago Tribune. Exchange of Compliments. Maud?My mamma says she can remember when your mamma kept a grocer's shop. Marie?My mamma says she can remember how much your mamma owes her for groceries. Every one should take care that he behaves so well that his enemies do not behave better.?Atchison Globe. CAItDS, THEN HEATH A DOOMED DESERTER WHO PLAYED POKER AND WON. Am a Preliminary to Kin Execution lie Had iiii* Winning DiMtribated Amuikfj the Members of the Squad That Shot Him to Death. "It is a curious fact," said a member of Company A, Third Maryland, "that military execution had a peculiar fascination for men who were daily accustomed to see hundreds slain in battle. Men who shovel a breastwork in on a trench full of slain comrades and chew hardtack or cat salt pork while at the job with a callousness which only such frequent scenes or occurrences would make possible in the human heart became peculiarly sensl tive and alive to the solemn parade and formalities of a military execution. "In our regiment we had. a private soldier sentenced to be shot for deserting to the enemy. Ills name was Thompson, and he belonged to Company K. This man Thompson had deserted off vedette post one night and some two months afterward came into our lines, where members of his own company happened to be on picket duty. Thompson did not calculate on this. ITis idea in coming in was to surrender as a Confederate soldier and be sent north. It happened near to the Weldon railroad, where our division of the Ninth corps was then posted. Of course, on being recognized, he was taken to headquarters, and a court martial was immediately convened. It leaked out somehow that Thompson jvas not the humble soldier he seemed, but a Confederate officer and spy. lie had been an officer in the United States navy before the war. lie resigned and went south, where he secured the commission of colonel of Infantry. "Being a Marylandcr of family, efforts were made to save his life, but in a quiet way, as his relatives feared to disclose his real identity for fear he would be hanged as a spy instead of shot as a deserter. Friday, the day set for execution in the Army of the Fotomac, came around too soon for Thompson and his relatives. The night previous he had been Informed that all efforts had failed at Washington. I was on guard duty over him, and my brother was one of the detail of twelve men selected as the firing squad. My brother didn't like the job, and came to the tent where I was on guard to consult with me how to get out of It [ Thompson overheard our conversation, and, knowing my brother by name, he | broke In: 'Say, Tip, you must not back out I want you In the squad, as I know you are a dead shot and will save me from the sergeant.' "It was the practice for the sergeant If the firing squad failed to kill the doomed man with a volley to place the muzzle of his rifle against the temple of the prisoner and blow out his brains. "After Tip had consented the ofhcer of the guard permitted us to play cards with the prisoner. lie had a roll of bills, and we were soon in a stiff poker game. Two guards, including myself, my brother Tip and Thompson, composed the quartet. We played until gray daylight, and Thompson skinned the party of every dollar. He had phenomenal luck and watched the game closely. "In the afternoon he was to die, and about noon he asked to see the lieutenant of the firing squad. Handing the officer $500, he asked him to divide it equally among the men detailed to shoot him. "The division was drawn up and fnrmori rhr?v> Ridf? of n snuare. the fourth side being open, where the grave of Thompson was freshly dug. The band played the dead march In 'Saul,' and Thompson, at the head of the fir* I lng squad, marched around the three sides of the square, with the coffin in which he was to be inclosed carried immediately behind him. Reaching the open space, the coffin was set down. Thompson seated himself on the end of it, facing the firing squad, about twelve paces distant. The death warrant was read, and the chaplain tied his handkerchief over the prisoner's eyes. 1 watched Thompson, curious to note if he would hear the reports of the muskets that killed him. Presently 1 heard the lieutenant's lew voice: 'Readyl Aim I Fire!' . "In the next Instant Thompson toppled back into his coffin a dead man. The reports of the muskets he never heard, as I saw him swiftly fall over before I heard the guns crack, and so I settled this disputed point to my own satisfaction, and to that extent the execution of Thompson interested me and no more."?Washington Post To Thread a Ilatr Through a Walnut. To pass a hair through a walnut without boring a hole seems an impossibility, but the feat has often been done. The hull of the walnut when examined with a strong glass is seen to have innumerable small openings, some of which lead entirely through the nut. The trick consists in using a j ? r? lr?fl nlf A omAiinf I vcij' uuu uau uuu uu uiuiiibc amvuub i of patience. Pass the hair Into one of J these minute crevices and urge it gently along. Sometimes It will appear on I the other side at the first trial, but if it comes out at the hundred and first you will be very lucky. He Had Learned It. "I heard a good story the other day," began the grocery man, "about a certain politician." "That will do," Interrupted the disappointed officeseeker. "In the first place, there are no certain politicians." ?Chicago News. And One ol Them Went Wrong. Adam was lucky In another way. He had no friends to come around telling him how he ought to bring up his boys. ?Chicago Record-Herald. ' THREE GREAT CANYONS. Yo.Kvmixe, V?'llo\vstoue and Grand Canyon of the Colorado Compared. The justly famous (Jrand Canyon of the Yellowstone is, like the Colorado, gorgeously colored and abruptly countersunk In a plateau, and both are mainly the work of water. Hut the Colorado's canyon Is more than 1,000 times Larger, and as a score or two new buildings of ordinary size would not appreciably change the general view of a great city so hundreds of Yellowstones might be eroded in the sides of the Colorado canyon without noticeably augmenting its size or the richness of its sculpture. Hut it is not true that the great Yosemite rocks would be thus lost or hidden. Nothing of their kind In the world, so far as I know, rivals El Capitan and Tissiack, much less dwarfs or in any way belittles them. None of the sandstone or limestone nrrv>inloos of the eanvon that I have f ? ? V ? scon or hoard of approaches in smooth, flawless strength and grandeur the granite face of El Capitan or the Tenaya side of Cloud's Rest. These colossal cliffs, types of permanence, are about 3,000 and G,000 feet high; those of the canyon that are sheer are al>out half as high and are types of fleeting change, while glorious domed Tisslack, noblest of mountain buildings, far from being overshadowed or lost in this rosy, spiry canyon company, would draw evcrj' eye and in serene majesty "aboon them a'" she would take her place?castle, temple, palace or tower. Nevertheless a noted writer, comparing the Grand canyon in a general way with the glacial Yosemite, says: "And the Yosemite?ah, the lovely Yosemite! Dumped down into the wilderness of gorges and mountains, it would take a guide who knew of its existence a long time to find it." This is striking and shows up well above the levels of commonplace description, but it is confusing and has the fatal fault of not being true.?John Muir in Century. Sympathetic Ink*. Rabelni9 compiled a curious list of inks of a sympathetic nature, which were Largely In vogue in his days. In his book entitled "Fantagruel" he makes his readers acquainted with Fanurgue's exploits in trying to decipher the invisible characters of a letter which a Parisian female had written to Fantagruel. "He held it up before a fire," says Rabelais, "to see if it was written with spirits of ammonia mixed with water. Then he placed it in water to discover if the writing had not been done with sirup ? * Wknn thlo TTTAIlM nnl U1 lllU^ iiiiU. IV UCU iuto TV vwau work, he held it over a candle, which would have brought out the characters had they been written with the Juice of white onions. By rubbing a part of it with nut oil he tried to find whether It had not been written with the sap of a fig tree. And if frog's blood had been used In the place of Ink the milk from the breast of a woman suckling her firstborn daughter would have betrayed the secrets of that letter." Two of a Kind. - An old woman recently entered an optician's shop and asked to look at some spectacles. Choosing a pair, she asked the price. "Five shillings," was the answer. "And how much are they without the case?" "I could not sell them for less than 4s. 10d.," said the tradesman, who was determined to get all ho could. "Do you take off twopence for the case?" queried the woman. "That is alL The case Is worth no more than twopence," was the reply. "A nai is gooa new si ejucuraieu me old lady, with a sigh of relief. "It's the case for mine which I have lost." So 6aylng she laid down the twopence and marched off with the coveted case before the astonished shopkeeper had time to Interfere.?London Answers. Origin ot the Red Cap of Liberty. The red cap of liberty had a very prosaic origin. Instead of being the j Thrygian bonnet" It is Just the galley slave's headgear. The Sjviss of the i Chateauroux regiment sen%,to the galleys for their share in the ^ancy riots were released and came into .'^aris with the red caps still on their heads. "They are the victims of despotism," said tho people, forgetting the circumstances of the riot, and so the red cap became the favorite with the extreme party. Toothache. If one has a toothache and can't reach the dentist, try this method of temporarily allaying the pain: Cleanse and dry the hollow tooth with a bit of cotton. Then put in a small cotton plug dipped in creosote or oil of cloves. Cover this with another bit of dry cot ton, or, still better, a little .beeswax and cotton kneaded together. This keeps out the air and downs the "misery" until a dentist can be reached. Cockney. "That Englishman Simklns Is very well fixed, Isn't he?" Inquired Polk. "Well," replied Jolk, "some people think so, but I know he hasn't a bit of property he can call his own." "Nonsense! He lives In Ms own house." "That may be, but he calls It "is bown.' "?Philadelphia Press. Disenchantment. "How did you enjoy your visit to the Bermudas, Uncle Jed?" "I was a good deal disappointed. The onions didn't come up to my expectations. Why, I've eat better Bermuda onions right here."?Chicago Tribune. I " An Old Family. ne?Miss Bellaeour claims to belong to a very old family. She?Well, she's justified. There are six those girls, and the youngest of them must be at least thirty. USE OF FALSE TEETH. Two Million* Manufactured Annually In the United State*. Probably not less than 2,000,000 artificial teeth are manufactured In this country each year, and still the output goes on Increasing. Never before was such great care manifested for teeth as has been exhibited during the past five years. In this respect Americans lead the world, not even the fastidious French excelling the people of the United States in their solicitude for the preservation of natural teeth and in their application of the arts of dental science when substitutes have to be provided for nature's molars. Englishmen are notoriously careless about their teeth, although in late years great progress has been made In this matter. A prominent dentist of New York declares that nearly every patient with a mouthful of decayed teeth Is a foreigner. "They let things drift," he says, "and come only when pain drives them here. Americans, and especially southerners, hasten to their dentist immediately they detect even the slightest signs of coming trouble, and the result is that there are by far more 'saved' teeth in this country than In any other. Englishmen and Irishmen are remarkably apathetic about their molars and will go about for years with hopelessly decayed teeth."?New York Times. Glnclc In a Frenay. When Gluck composed his immortal works, a bottle of champagne was always placed on either side of the piano, and its effervescence helped to inspire the great arias of "Iphigenia," "Armida" and "Alceste." When the final rehearsals were held of the "Iphigenia," Gluck had not yet written the melody to the "Dance of the Scythians." Navcrre, the ballet master, becoming uneasy over the delay, went to him one morning to urge him to hurry it up. As he entered the composer's anteroom he heard unusual and terrific noises emanating from Gluck's library. He approached stealthily and through a crack In the door saw Qiuck In shirt sleeves, his face as red as fire and distorted by horrible grimaces, singing, gesticulating and jumping about like a madman, Naverre, frightened by the extraordinary spectacle, pushed the door open. "Ah, there you are," exclaimed Gluck. "1 am just finishing your dance and will let you have it right away." It was then that Glnck had composed that grand orgy of the savages which created such a profound sensation on the stage. Blind Men m Shaapooen. "I do pity these blind men so," said a stranger In the city who had been approached by so many "blind" men In walking down the avenue that he wondered how these beggars picked him out so readily. "And yet," said his host, "there are many lines of work which they could do instead of begging. For example, most of the shampooers in Japan are blind men. finmp are so well to do that they own their own houses, and their patrons go to thexn for treatment Others who have not succeeded so well go from house to house, and the rest of the people from sympathy guide them from place to place. Some of them walk alone, blowing on bamboo whistles. There was a time when some of them were doctors as well as shampooers."?New York Tribune. Mortar Tosscrs. There Is no hod carrying In Japan. The native builders have a method of transferring mortar which makes it seem more like play than work to the onlooker. The mortar is mixed up in a pile In the street. One man makes this up into balls of about six pounds weight, which he tosses to a man who stands on a ladder midway between the roof and the ball. This man deftly catches the ball and tosses it up to a man who stands on the roof. This plan would scarcely work for skyscrapers. What Botanists Do Not Know. How water, commonly called sap, necessary to the life of a tree, passes from the roots to the topmost ieaf and evaporates is a problem not yet solved by botanists. It is known that the ascent Is made chiefly in cavities In the sapwood only, the heart and bark serving other purposes. That Is the extent of our knowledge of the matter. Beyond Is mere conjecture, and every theory yet advanced has failed to stand the test of experiment The Cast Was Made. "Do you cast things here?" inquired a smart youth the other day as he sauntered Into a foundry and addressed the proprietor. "Yes, we do." "You cast all kinds of things in iron, eh?" "Certainly. Don't you see that is our business?" "Ah, well, cast a shadow, will you?" He was cast out Intellectual. "Just fahncy, Weglnald, I've forgotten ma cahrd case." | "Nevah mind, deah boy, I'll lend you ' some of mine.* "But?ah?the name would be different, you know." "Bah Jove, so it would! What & head you have, Aigy!" Discontent. Most men spend one-third of their lives trying to make the world different, another third in learning to live in It as it is and the remainder in explaining how much better it used to "be.?Washington Times. The last few hours before a funeral the clock in the house strikes with a tone never noticed before and never apparent again, except on similar occasions.?Atchison Giobe. I WHILE WE SLEEP. The Mnsclo* and Organs of the Body Are Still Working. If the organs of the body cannot be said to sleep, neither can the voluntary muscles. Witness the phenomena of 1 sleepwalking, the postilions In stagecoach days who slept In their saddles and cavalrymen who do it today, infantry who have been known to sleep , on forced marches, sentinels who walk their beats carrying their guns in a fixed position while they sleep. For all we know policemen may do it too. People who talk in their sleep are familiar to all of us. Experiments made 1 by Speir, Armstrong and Child on 200 ( college students of both sexes showed that 47 per cent of the men and 37 per cent of the women talked In their sleep. A number of things might be proved by these statistics. Of these sleep talkers one-half of the women and one-third of the men are able to answer questions while asleep. More women than men could answer questions on any subject, not alone that of which they had been talking. It has also been found that most sleep talkers are under twenty-five years of age. Evidently, then, with the muscles and organs of the body all working, It i Is the brain only that sleeps, and by no means all of the brain. The senses of sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste may be very much awake while the subject sleeps. A sleeping person hears and answers questions, rearranges his bedclothlng, covers his eyes to keep out the light, draws away his hand when the experimenter tickles It A child is broken of the habit of sucking his thumb while asleep by putting aloes on it He Is conscious of the bitter taste and dreams of wormwood. The nerves, then, and the brain centers corresponding to them are awake. A busy lawyer,. exhausted by overwork, one night went out to supper with some friends, ate, talked and walked with them, and the next day remembered absolutely nothing of the occurrence. He had not been drinking. The man was simply asleep during the whole evening. His conscious memory?that is, consciousness itself?slept ?Ainslee's Magazine. FLOWER AND TREE. Fruit trees and fruit require potash for their best development With house plants all extreme changes of temperature should be avoided. Too many trees prevent rapid growth and extend the time when a grove is well shaded. Grapevines like their roots to be near the surface, and the food for them should not be placed at too great a depth. Small growth and too much small fruit go together. Thrifty growth fur nlshes a few large and fine specimens of fruit There Is no use In growing a tree very tall. The top limbs are apt to become slender and break If fruit is produced on them. All members of the poppy family are hard to transplant By choosing a rainy day and not exposing the roots one can sometimes manage a transference. Avoid straight lines as much as possible. There Is no straight line in nature. It Is for this reason that groups and masses are so much better than formal or set beds. What Puiled Loala. Louis Philippe was a wit What he specially excelled In was the clinching of an argument, such as, for instance, his final remark on the death of Talleyrand. He had paid him a visit the day before. When the news of the prince's death was brought to hira, he said, "Are you sure he Is dead?" "Very sure, sire," was the answer. "Why, SM nnt Vftiir mqlocfv himself notice yesterday that he was dying?" "I did, but there Is no Judging from appearances with Talleyrand, and I have been asking myself for the last four and twenty hours what interest he could possibly have in departing at this particular moment" j A Queer Library. A curious collection of books Is contained in the library of Warstenteln, I near Cassel, In Germany. The books J appear at flrst sight to be logs of wood,? but each volume Is really a complete! history of the tree it represents. The I back shows the bark, in which a small place is cut to write the scientific and common name as a title. One side shows the tree trunk In Its natural state, and the other Is polished and varnished. Inside are shown the leaves, fruit, fiber and Insect parasites, to which Is added a full description of the tree and Its products. A Matter of Fact. "Do you >sce the horizon yonder, where the sky seems to meet the earth?' "Yes, uncle." "Boy, I have Journeyed so near there that I couldn't put a sixpence between my head and the sky!" "Why, uncle, what a whopper I" "It's a fact, my lad. I hadn't one to put"?London Tit-Bits. Excellent Explanation. "Why Is a woman?honest now? ? 4- ~ 1)1 I , vvu| 10 a nuc uvddi "Before marriage she -was an 1. After marriage she leaned on another I, and they formed an X. Of course he's cross, and so are yon, I'll bet"? New York Times. Benefit your friends, that they may love you more dearly still Benefit your enemies, that they may at last become your friends. A boy is usually ready to eat every ' 3me he stops playing.?Atchison Globe. 1 " HE WAS A PAINTER. A Drunken Prisoner'* Excuse In New York Police Court. It Is characteristic of almost all the prisoners except the drunks that their chief concern is to secure a delay. They plead and beg for an adjournment, which they know will only postpone the inevitable for a day or two, and that although, through their inability to obtain bail, they will have to stay In prison Just the same. The jpost plausible explanation is that they all are fatalists, always hoping that something unexpected may turn up to stave off the impending catastrophe. The drunks, on the other hand, are mote eager to face the arbiter of their fate* knowing that nothing worse than a fine is likely to befall them and that the sooner it is Imposed the sooner it may be paid or served off. And tlrai there Is the chance, if the maglstx^fc Is in good humor, that they may get away unscathed at once. As a rule, although not seldom still In their cups, they are loath to mate any incriminating ad missions. "No, air," protested a man who kept himself from falling over by holding on nerv ously to tno oar; "im doc oruna, 'cause no one's drunk who's not falling all over himself." Excuses of the most wonderful kind, some of them really ingenious, others merely ridiculous, are put forward when the futility of feigning Innocence has been discovered. The cleverest explanation of that kind that I ever heard was advanced by a man who, when taxed with having displayed unmistakable signs of intoxication, simply replied that he was a painter by trade. "That has nothing to do with your condition," said the magistrate. "Of course it has," rejoined the prisoner. "1 was painting a barber pole and kept on twisting after the stripes until I got so dizzy that the cop thought I was boozy."?Edward Biorkman In Century. HE WORKED THE BANKER. How a Clever Merchant Killed Two Bird* With One Stone. Recently a wealthy merchant in Paris who does an extensive business with Japan was Informed that a prominent firm in Yokohama had failed, but the name of the firm he could not learn, though he was most anxious to ascertain whether it was the one with which he did most of his business in that city. He could have learned the troth by cabling, but Instead he went tO the man, a well known banker, who had received the news and requested him to reveal the name of the firm to htm. > "That's a. very delicate thing to da* replied the banker, "for the neve W not official, and if I gave yea the name I might incur some responsibility." g. The merchant argued, but in rain, and filially he made this proposition; T will give you," he said, "a list of ten firms In Yokohama, and I will ask you to look through It and then tp tell me, without mentioning any namet whether or not the name of the firm which has failed appears In it Sorely you will do that for me7" "Yes," said the banker, "for if I dp not mention any name 1 cannot be held responsible in any way." The list was made. The banker^ looked through it and as he handed St back to the merchant said, "The name of the firm which has failed is there." "Then I've lost heavily," replied tba: merchant, "for that la the flrxn with which 1 did business," showing him a name on the list "But how do you know that is the firm which has failed?' asked the banker In surprise. "Very easily," replied the merchant "Of the ten names on the list only one is genuine, that of the firm with which I did business. All the others are fictitious." Two layoulklc Ilea. Dr. Hausbck once asked Bchnmann now ne got on wun wuguer. "Not at all," replied Schumann; "foi? me Wagner la impossible. Doubtless he la a very clever man, bat he talks too fast?one cannot get a word In." Some time after, In an interview which Hausllck had with Wagner, allusion was made to Schumann. "With Schumann," said Wagner, "It-3 Is Impossible to arrive at an understanding. He says nothing. Someyears ago on my return from Parte I called upon him to talk of operas, concerts, composers and other Interesting matters with which I had become acquainted. Schumann looked at me stolidly, or rather he Iqoked into space, without saying a wonl Faith, I took leave of him almost immediately. He Is an Impossible man." Talcing go CkauM. "Do you mean to say that yon don't want a railway through Crimson Gulch?' asked the astonished surveyor. "That's exactly what I mean to say, young feller," answered Broncho Bob, "Cactusville got a railroad, didn't it? And they hadn't It two weeks before' a couple of men won half the money In ?? ?? ? aaLI f/vote #ka solti nvwt UtUiPi tviu VWA VUV UOMI ??% was gone forever and ever. Crlmion Gulch ain't taklo' any such chances." ?Washington Star. A Rub For Teaaysoa. When Alfred Tennyson appeared in the Oxford theater to receive his D. C. L. degree, it is said that his disheveled hair and generally negligent state pro* Toked the undergraduates into greeting him with the inquiry, "Did your mother call you early, call you early, Alfred, dear?' Better Left UbmIL Discontented Artist?1 wish I had a fortune. I would never paint again. Generous Brother Brush?By Iota old man, I wish I had one! I'd give II to you I