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Iody's Business for The Chronicle by Gee Gee, Copyright. 1928. IU8LETTER ce? 5 1 J been wondering for some J can't figure out just what democrat is. Will ? you^j ite a few linos and give idea as to what you think yores J MY ANSWER re two distinct^ types of mocrats, female and male.1 5 different kinds of Hoover vizzly: Baptist, Methodist, an, A. R. Presbyterian and lers. a reason why most of those us church members voted was. .. . A1 .Smith was not tholic,. . .that in /itself bet 15 reasons... .but he was lolic at that. meant any harm voting for r. There wasn't anybody te for after A1 told them ch he belonged to. They e time that A1 would make resident than Mr. Hoover, >f the Pope of Rome sender d every day what to do. at they heard down south.) I, it's this way: A Hoover s a lady or a gentleman her or his religious prosriously. Politics didn't old, true and tried demoe wrong. They knew that r would keep church and ute. Nobody ever thought Hoover which church, if >nged to. . . .until after the ?o ood men and good women by birth, nature, instinct, and habit) voted for Mr. Some of them still think does very well to be an d with no one to help him lblicans. Why, have you much better he has been ng since hF got a bunch xrrnts in onngr<>?s ? That's Hi he needed to hurry on his pros^Bcnty program. loot's all encourage ^ im till next March, .when Mr. RooseHlt will take over the "reigns".... ^Br mebbe Ritchie or Baker. "Poor ^ ttle Hoover-ite,"don't you cry: you'll a democrat buy-and-buy." (That's ^ oetry). H wY?ur friend, . Gee McGee. A WEEK-END VACATION (Friday) BOur second day away from home Ba* not so eventful as we anticipatBj. The hol'tfi that we stopped at Btd advertised its rooms far and neurit thi- manner: "Room with bath, B.Ou." We got one of those 2-dollar Boni> hut he charged us G-dollars Br it ....you see, he nad 2 single it, and having been married nearly 20 years, we didn't object m single beds. Bl\\. went to the picture show.-They Bui just reduced their prices from ^B cent* to 50 cents, thus getting BwnBo within 25 cents of what ^BuW he right. If me and my folks ^Bd not of been victims, the place ^B>uU have looked much emptier, it was, the house was about oneHoover prosperity admis^Bon fees would have filled that place. a ,11 learn this the day before I You have no doubt observed that i. vacation is southward. It was pd a*.en we left home, but jUJTt as |or. a- we landed in the "Sunshine I had to invest in pair of kv-?- Thio natives told us that the coldest weather Florida it. experienced since Cleveland's adb - -ation. I have been down fci.- a dozen times when it was even !<.? :* than that. One old man told p that it was down to 28 in Cally>rn<y. You see, Fla., and Calif., e *':!! rivals. 1 am a close observer. I noticed it all of the men who collected tolls toll bridges, .. .and we passed 3 in e day....were well-dressed, and loked. They are going to disconue these toll bridges when Raskob tomes president. I found out (on s trip) what busted the United ties. I got my evidence from Ke automobile junk-yards. The ual value of the 76 acres of junked 'ft was about $250.00: the actual t of the junk when new wes ^.hfto oo. That's the trouble, fellers instead of the tariff and the rofiicans. tri?d mighty hard to find a town ? ' ' . - -4 - \ 3 _ T * , . . . ???, z. - " fc '"r^rZIliMMwB - ii-?~? r or community where everything was fine, tip-top, dandy, and lovely. Most of the towns and cities are about like all other towns and cities. We spent an hour at one fair-sized burg. Its bonded debt was only $18,000,000 and its current debt was slightly less than $2,360,000. It won't take them long to get adjusted as all the other towns of the same size and color and radius owe 3 times that much. misery loves sick oeu-ieiiows. ..Before delving too deep into affairs generally,' I considered my "home" situation. And while I feel that we are slightly bent, if not plumb broke, we are better off than many sections. I decided before getting back home....that one place is as good as another, and if there's any difference, it'* -a darned sight better. Note: We found 2 towns that had the same price for gas and oil: that was unusual. (The third spnnm of this 4-day vacation will follow next week). < - - r THE WAY OP A JACKASS! * An Old Fable Long ago the donkey was esteemed by all as tho wisest of animals, ElKandee vowned a great herd of these sagacious beasts, and other' shieks fioni miles around came to marvel at the wisdom of his herd. Came even t^B Phophet^himself and with flowing pride Kl-Kandee led him out to the herd and said: "Behold, 0 Prophet, the wise and talented asses. Talk with them, and see if they are not wiser than forty owls." ' So the Prophet addressed the asses: "Answer this question," saith he. "What would an ass require for a three days' journey?" "For a three days' journey, 0 Prophet, an ass should require six bundles of hay and three bags of dates," they replied. "Very good," "quoth the Prophet. Whereupon Kl-Kandee broke into chuckles and said: "Did I not tell you they are passing wise?" < The Prophet again spoke to the asses: "I have for one of you," he said, "a three days' journey, but I will not give six bundles of hay and three bags of dates for making it. Let him who will go for less stand forth." ' And behold they all stood forth and began to talk at once. One would go for six bundles of hiry and two bags of ^ dates. Then another for three bundles and one bag of dates, until finally one especially long-eared ass agreed to go for one bundle of hay. Then,-spoke the Prophet: "Fools," qu6th h'hr-J'you cannot live for three da^s on one bundle of hay, much less profit from the journey!" "True," said the long-eared one, "BUT I WANTED TO GET THE ORDER." And from that far-off day to this, a^sos have been known as fools, and the price-cutters known as asses.? Calhoun Times. Robert F. Smith Dead St. Charles, S. C., March 28, 1932? Funeral services were held at Bethany Baptist church of this place Saturday afternoon at 3 o'clock for Robert Furman Smith, 70, who died at his home near here, Friday evening, March 25th, at 8:20 o'clock, after a brief illness. The services were conducted by tho Rev. B. L. Hill, oaoialvu by Dr. Brunson, pastor of Grace Baptist church of Sumter. Mr. Smith was born and reared in the community in which he died. He was a man of sterling character and greatly respected by those who knew him best. He was since early manhood, a member of Bethany Baptist church. An epidemic of influenza is reported to be in the city schools of Abbeville. More than 100 children last week Were out of the primary school; 68 out of the high school, and many out of the grammar school. Fortunately the epidemic is said to be of mild form. H. E. Thompson, of Batgsburg, a member of the state board of conciliation, has been designated by Governor Blackwood, to go to Langley and study the textile strike there. " He will confer with the management and the workers and report his findings to the chief executive. Why m Up Nights? Make This 25c Test This easy bladder physic is needed to drive out impurities and excess acids which cause irritation that results in leg pains, backache, burning and getting up nights. BU-KETS, the bladder physic, containing buchu, juniper oil, etc., works, on the bladder plamsantlv and effectively as castor oil on the bowels. Get a 25c box fir grain sfre) from your druggist. After four days, if not relieved of getting up nights go back and get your money. You are bound to feel better after this cleansing and you get your regular sleep. Locally at Dofass*' Drug Store and DeKaib Pharmacy. , u ^ c J # . | ;*r> " t , ? . ?= ?_ ??-? ?? ?" Perfects Invention For The Linotype i \ Charlotte, N. C., March '&).?A man who dreamed for 16 years of a machine to do the work of a Linotype operator today read in his home newspaper the statement of experts that he had made the greatest contribution to the printing* business since the Linotype itself was introduced. It is called the Semagmph?literally, a machine that reads and writes. The reading is a mystery to the layman, and the writing is in the formof ordinary lines of type, thousands of which make up the daily newspaper. " Butyrd L. Green, who put on his Sunday clothes yesterday to demonstrate it to newspaper and press association men from many places, is the man who had the dream which Curtis B. Johnson, publisher of the Charlotte Observer, made come true with financial backing. Green's invention is really two inventions. One of them, an electric typewriter, solving the problem of spacing, which up until now has hindered every effort at electrical Linotype operation. On this machine the re ported'or, copy preparer writes the story. Directly under each letter is a symbol. A scale tells exactly when a line of a given size of type has j been "written." If the line has too few letters, a special key carries the carriage back, and a symbol "informs" the mystic Linotype keyboard that each ordinary space band, or each letter, must have a thin spaco inserted in addition. This copy is then ready for the typesetting machine?Linotype or Intertype?inserted under a tiny point of light, it is penetrated exactly at each dot of the symbol assembly below each letter. A photo oleotric cell?the electric eye of modern science?registers the light impulse and transmits it to the magnetic light relay which trips the releases of niat^ just as now l?y the human hand. It is estimated that one man will be able to handle ftyUr Linotype machinos after installation of the newattachment. His sole duties will be to insert copy, unload type, and keep the machine in repair as docs the ordinary composing room machinist. Green says every safety device Possible. has 'been installed on the machine where ever breakdowns in the intricate machinery have been known to occur. All of those devices register immediately with the "mechanical operator," stopping it and turning on a red light over the machine to attract the attention of the attendant. Green began studying the possibilities for such a machine many years ago?even before the Linotype had reached its modern development. First he built an entirely electric machine, operating on a system similar to the common telegraph office teletypewriter. Too much wiring with consequent short circuits, and spacing difficulties caused him to discard this idea. Another machine was built. It also failed to please, nnd then with the money of Mr. Johnson and the mechanical advice of John P. White, and the research efforts of engineers throughout this country and Germany in an effort to find a speedy enough relay for the "electric eye," the present machine, entirely mechanical except for the^>hoto-eIectric device, was developed. Green's face shone yesterday as he demonstrated his invention for the first time. For 30 minutes he let it turn out type without a hitch at the rate of 6 lines per minute. He A says a few perfections he is now working on will enable it to set 12 lines per minute?almost twice the present Linotype speed. < Especially did he beim when advised by his patent lawyer thut all patents had been wanted in Washington?that no other person had ever approximated the same use to which he had put his materials, and that there was no danger of infringement?in other words, that he was llrst. Green is 40 years old. For lf> years ho has invested every spare cent in an electrical and mechanical library said to be one of the most complete ever gathered outside of great laboratories. Two years ago, White, superintendent of The Observer plantj became enthused over Green's idea and enlisted Mr. Johnson's aid, Sinye then the work has progressed slowly hut surely until they announced yesterday the machine was no longer a dream, but a ! fact. Text ilea There, is not a bit of doubt but that the long expected upturn in the textile business is now under way. It is what we have been looking for in this country for a long time. This is but a part of the general rejuvenation of business that is coming.? Gastonia Gazette. t ; ' ; "* , longevity At 85, the average person has 17 million more minutes to live. That . is, he has if he isn't on a highway 'with a large number of boy drivers in a terrible hurry for nothing, dart: ing . around or cutting-in ahead, to , gain a minute at odds/ of 17 million to 1 for themselves and others.?^ Capper's Weekly. 1 . ' La Paz, Bolivia, 'has asked for a , six-months' moratorium for the pay ! ment of Its 1P22 indebtedness. I ? Fifth District To Be Unchanged After much discussion the general assembly has agreed upon u redistricting bill which divides 'the atato into six instead of seven congressional districts. Under the terms of this bill the lifth congressional district remains unchanged as tho counties that will constitute this district aro the same as formerly, namely Cherokee, Chester, York, Fairfield, Lancaster, Kershaw and Chesterfield. Senate amendments to the bill as introduced in the housv took Lee and Sumter counties from a proposed fifth district. Tho local district will be the smallest one in the state in population as in cbtting down tho number of districts from seven to six it was necessary to add counties on ? to most of the districts. The bill which was concurred in by the house after the senate amended it will be passed the fore part of the week and signed by the governor, according to reports. "I think this bill should be called the Hutchison memorial redisricting bill*' Calhoun Thomas, Heaufort, said after it had passed. Hutchison is the reading clerk of tho house and secretary to Congressman W. F. Stovenson. The bill, whilo it was in the house, was sometimes referred, to as the "Hutchison bill," and last night, after the house had concurred in senate amendments, "Hutch" thanked the house for its action. The Champion Fibre Company, Canton, N. C., has perfected a procoss for manufacturing "cotton content" bond paper. A report emanating at Greenville, stutes that twonty-flve per cent of the paper, by weight, will bo i cotton. ANNOUNCING ??<?" % <-*** THE NEW- FORD V" 8 C y - - * * * ' < the Nbw Ford Eight Do Luxo Tudor Sodan Eight-cylinder, 90-J egree V-type, 65-Korse-power Engine Vibrati onless Roomy, B eautiful B odies * Lo w Center of Gravity * Silent Second Gear Synchronized Silent Gear Shift * Seventy-fiyjD .M-iles per Hour * Comfortable i Riding Springs * Rapid Acceleration * Low Gasoline Consumption * B^liability ( New self-adjusting Houdaille doubleacting hydraulic shock absotbcrs with thermostatic control . . . New rear spring construction . . . Automatic spark control . * . Down-draft carburetor . . . Carburetor silencer . . . Bore, 3 1/16 inches. Stroke 3 3/4 inches . Piston displacement, 221 cubic inches . 90-degree counterbalanced crankshaft , Large, effective fully * enclosed four-wheel brakes ... Distinctive steel-spoke wheels with large hub caps . . . Handsome V-type radiator . . . Graceful new roof line and slanting windshield of clear polished plate safety glass ... Single-bar bumpers, chromium plated . . . Low, drop center frame . . . Mechanically operated pump drawing fuel from fourteen-gallon gasoline tank in rear . . . Choke on instrument panel # . . . Individual inside sun visors . . Cowl ventilation ... Adjustable driver's seat . . . Choice of Mohair, Broadcloth or Bedford Cord upholstery in all de luxe closed types. THE NEW FORD FOUR-CYLINDER CAR An improved Ford four-cylinder, 5 O-borse-poxver engine, operating with new smoothness, is available in fourteen body types at $ 50 less than the corresponding V-8 prices listed below * 1 jJ.. IE AT NE W CAR AT AN UNUSUALLY LOW PRICE "Roadster , t ? $460 Coupe ? . . $490 Phaeton ... 495 Sport Coupe . . 535 Tudor Sedan 500 ? or dor Sedan . 590 De Luxe Roadster $500 De Luxe Phaeton 545 De Luxe Tudor $330 De Luxe Coupe 313 Cabriolet i ? 610 c D<? Luxe Ton/or . $645 "Victoria -. . . . 600 Convertible Sedan 650 V^A . - ;nsgs 4. ^ / r/. 4 I 5- f (F. (KB. Detroit, plus freight and delivery. Bumpers and spare tin extra. Economical terms through Authorized Ford Finance Plans of Universal Credit Co.) * ^ , ; Jh . ~r^":rT"^* i, ' ?' * ~ ?r-~r>r~uu'.~~t"7 ?' %ij^TM-fr1'i'1* '">itf^r'[ r!~ ' f?." "J r"~"~c~v,. ~