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iTHE MAGIC TOUCH \*} ' ' v i '' * Hundreds of old homes are being made over this pring. Possibly you, too, want to remodel your lome, add a sun porch, a breakfast room, a new j abinet. 'Our Service Bureau will help you \yith your plans, 10 obligations, of course. You'd be surprised at what a whale of a difference l few .changes will make. Mmbia Lumber & Manufacturing Go. COLUMBIA, S. C, : === " . 1 Nobody's Business Written for The Chronicle by Gee McGee, Copyright, 1928. Nobodys Business A Needed Reform There is a-good deal of talk, cement, bull, and miscellaneous gossip nowadays about what colleges should teach and what they should not teach, and I have been asked (by a brick.. layer) to express royjelL-Ju .-the premises, and after seeing so many college men out of j* job, I have con?eluded to give^the lowrdown and the high up on this vital question. 1. I think selling 10-cents-a-week insurance is a gainful occupation, judging from the number of good men employed in that capacity, and 1 recommend that a cdurse covering ' this field be substituted for Shakeapeare. 2. 'Instead of French, German and Portugese, I believe it would prove I : ?- - i-J . - 1 profitably to all parties concerned for our colleges to institute a course in instalment collecting, the same to be given' in the regular semesters as now obtains, and not at night as some politicians might think. Very little collecting is ever done at night, therefore that's the wrong time of day to learn it. ?? -o "" 7 3. Now in the place of' Chemistry, Astronomy, Biology, and Hygiene, I strongly recommend a complete course in "Passing the Buck." This would be of a great help to politicians and would-be politicians, and accord^ ing to npr way of thinking, "Buck Passing" is one of the most lucrative positions extant, especially as concerns legislators, members of all kinds of commissions and committees, highwny organizations, and agricultural banks. 4. Where certain colleges are teaching reading, writing, math, and physics, I insist that a course in golf and football, be given to all students, as the same would be more highly appreciated by the present generation than the useless, abominable studies recited. Fame dhd fortune await the coming of men who can out-golf and out-pitch the other fellow, and they are purked just around the corner, meaning Fame and Fortune. 5. '' Debt dodging and check kiting should be taught in the /place of textiles, (a man can learn how to spin and weave in a cotton mill),, electrical engineering, and animal husbandry, and the cost of such a course would not be out of the reach of the most poverty stricken of the masses, as nearly everybody is already partly trained in this profession, of born with a tendency in that direction, such a spirit being heritable and descendable. So, dear people, I urge you to write yomr senator and congressman and legis-^ lator and bootlegger and^ turmp-" green furnisher at once to vote and fight for the needed changes (mentioned herein) in connection with our state-supported colleges ansoforth. (Selah.) It was so cold and disagreeable last Wednesday night, Mr. and Mrs. R. U. Shore could not go to prayer meeting, so they drove down to the home ?wt: : -- - - - of Mr. and Mrs. L. C. Smoak and { playod bridge. Mrs. Shore wop 3: dollars and Id cents and Mr. Wiore loot 6 doling My office telephone rang with a I jerk the other morning and I answered |t. The lady at the other and of tho line belched forth: / "Have yon an/ brains," and 1 said?hope so," and she said?"How many sets," and 1 said?"One small set," and she aid?"Well, 1 wanfted at least 3 sets, but if that's all you've got, send them up at once/' and 1 told the, dear lady that 1 could not spare the only set of brains I had, even if they had never been worth much to "me, and she dew back: "Ain't this the Short*Wait beef market," and 1 told her no, that it was our wholesale grocery warehouse. Then she said?"Wrong number." Hat rock, s. C. murtch 4 19119. mr. interstate commerce com., Washington, d. C. deer air:? please send a good lawyer down here at once and make sam jones quit bilding a beef market rigtyt next to my beef market, for i can sell all the beef that these here folks can pay for, and we don't need no other beef market, so kindly handle this like .you did the p, & n, railroad when you wouldn't let them bild no more road to their line as it would hurt the other roads alreaddy bilt, and that's the way i want you to do sam jones like you did them. I suspose you can keep him back o. k. rite or foam him' quick, as he has done hauled some skantlingsj aspoforth, and he will be selling beef against me if you don't hurry up. yores trulie, mike Clark, rfd. The newspapers raised more whoopee when Hoover caught a little minnow down in Miami Bay the other day than they did when the Boulder dam bill was smothered thru the senate. Why, if he had caught a shark, his feat would have been headlined for 30 days. I caught a 2-pound mudcat last summer, and my name didn't even get in the paper, and my wife wouldn't believe the story just because I, forgot to fetch the fish home with me. Ain't women funny though ? I tried out one of those, celebrated Station-to-Station telephone calls the other morning bo's I could talk to a business friend for $3.50 instead of $3.76 on a Person-to-Person call. I asked for the president, and was told that he was out playing golf, and the manager was at home with the flu, and the assistant manager was upstairs, and the stenographer was out,side talking to a cake eater. At least this is the report the janitor made to me. From now on, I calls my man in pusson. Section of Bridge Goes Out ~ Columbia, March 1.?A 75-foot section of the flooring of the Broad River bridge crashed into the stream late last night after having hung suspended abave three damaged bents which were hashed out yesterday and today the temporary structure, repaired during last summer after similar and more extensive damage from high water, presented a vacant gap, which must be rebuilt before .traffic can. he resumed between. Columbia. And the Dutch Fork section over route two. Officials of the Hardaway Contracting Company today estimated that less than a week would be required to replace the supporta^and flooring for the missing section of the timber bridge. Water at the bridge had ceased rising early this morning after having risen steadily since early in the week and it was thought that the Hood waters would begin to recede during the day. The volume of logs and other debris that was being brought .down, stream showed . * decrease today. Because of increased and growing interost'in boxing and football, a sports stadium to seat 60,000 people is to be built at Buenos Aires, Argentine. ~ WlRING i SERVICE I WIRES BETWEEN WALLS j Electric wires between walls and under floors are hid from view so long as the structure stands. They must be dependable under all conditions. We specialize in efficient Electric wiring. Let us .give you our estimate now.. ?G. A. Partin Electric Shop WEST DeKALB STREET ' * ^ ^ r ^ ^ ^ A Five-Year Plan O j Cultivate a five-year, vision, because what your k y * * ' position will be five years hence depends to a large extent upon how you take advantage of present oppor f ...... ? tunitiee ahd prgpafrc yourself for future on?h?Loan itf Savings Bank CAPITAL $100,000.00 * "v ? - .1 H II ... > >?. m. Mfc.1 ??I.? '? i . - 4< .t... __ .... Jui^r . ? j Stop That Cough QUICK! Famous Prescription Has A DouShi-AuiBi ?: - - . f The , phenomenal success of a famous doctor's prescription called Thoxine is due to its double actioti. It immediately soothes the irritatieii and goes direct to the?, internal cause not reached by pstent medicines and cough syrups. The very first swallow usually relieves even the most obstinate cough. -* Thoxine contains no chloroform^ dope or other dangerous drugs. Stfi and pleasant for the whole family. Also excellent for sons throat. Qu&fc \ relief or ybtff Ynoney ^sck. 36c., dOc* and U.00. Sold by W. Robin Zemp'a and all other good drug stores. Flays Pugilism Charlotte, N. <C., Feb. 27.?Prize fights in general, and Jack Dempsey in particular, wild west movies and men who own dogs are public menaces in the judicial opinion of Judge A. M. Stack. Judge Stack, presiding in Mecklenburg county superior court here delivered his Phi li pic broadside in sentencing Benny Mack, boxer, to serve 2 to 25 years in state's prison for killing W. R.uMoore, landscape architect, after an argument over a bull dog. A few excerpts: -^A boxer like Benny Mack has his'instincts developed for pugnacity. Men get in the ring and pummel each other. That destroys a man's ideal of things." "I'd like to Bee Jack Dempsey in jail. He has done more to corrupt the boys and men of the country than anyone I know of." "There is not a boxing match that doesn't diminish respect for the law. The moving pictures are doing the same thing. Down in my home town the other day some small boys dressed as cowboys and robbed a store. The movie suggested that to them." "There was no necessity to kill this man over an old dog. I think it ought to be a crime for a man to keep a dog." "The lay sermon," as his honor described the deliverance, was precipitated during the testimony of Dr. VV. A. Wishart, Char , lotte physician and boxing: commissioner, who rose in defense of the " \ --\C sport in answer to a question of the court. _ A negro, 24, stabbed his wife to death in New York Monday and gave as a reason therefor that his wife had put a voodoo spell on him with voodoo powder, crazy cats and crossed sticks to prevent him from leaving her and going to Canada. Large numbers of Indiuns will participate in the inaugural cere-? monies in Washington next Monday^...... they being enpecially interested in the inauguration of Vice President Curtis, who is of Indian descent. -r .. .... i f i ' - | " ' " .. ? ? fl SiiL CylinderTmcks 'with the economy of the) touhf n_-rt71fc_rr_ s J L/V \ Crowded traffic conditions today demand six-cylinder performance?with its greater flexibility, greater reserve power, higher speed and swifter acceleration. And now?for the first time in commercial car history ? this desirable six-cylinder performance has been made * available with the economy of the four. For the new sixcylinder Chevrolet trucks arc not only offered in the price range of the four?but they are as economical to operate as their famous four-cylinder predecessors! Both the Light Delivery and the IV2 Ton Utility Chassis are ? available-with-aiv unusually wide selection of body ty pea ?and among them is one exactly suited to your require?-mfcntsr T3omeTn today. We'll gladly arrange a trial load demonstration?load the truck as you would load it, and drive it over the roads your truck must travel in a regular day's work. 8edan Delivery, $595; Light Delivery Chassis, $400; \x/i Ton Chassis, $545; Ton Chassis with Cab, $650. All prices f. a. b. factory, Flint, Mich. - ?~ t . C . .. ? Welsh Motor Company - North Brood Street Camden, S. C. A SIX IN THE PRICE RANGE OF THE FOUR CONGAREE SOIL BUILDER FERTILIZERS There is one thing about CONGAREE SOIL-BUILDER FERTILj IZERS: They are always the same in good times and bad times, in .I | hard times and flush times. We had a bad time last year and have to j | overcome it with success this year. The greatest aid toward accom- I | plishing this is the use of the BEST FERTILIZER you can get. j We are positive that the BEST IS CONGAREE SQ!L-BUILDER^- I This has been proved by actual test, covering a period of years right j ( here in your midst. Ask any man who has ever used it. It costs no Ml more and is worth more. See us before you buy. We_will also haxfi. I Nitrate of Soda at the right time. I I Springs & Shannon, i?c. j