The Camden chronicle. (Camden, S.C.) 1888-1981, March 23, 1928, Image 4
Nobody's Business
Written for The Chronicle by Gee
McGee, Copyright, 1927.
NOBODY8 UCHINKS,S
A young fellow down to cheek
my electric meter the other day.
He had nil kinds of little boxeh a//d
instruments and wires that nobody
knows anything about. He rigged '
up his stuff and counted its pulse,
and then explained to me that the
voltage was at least 8 ohms too slow
and that where 1 was using (J wutts
according to my^ monthly bill, 1 should
have been paying for 10 watts, and
he also found that 2 kilowats were
missing on 4 circuits, and I lacked
9 ampere* of being in line with a high
tension current which was calculated
to throw my switch during a verjiol
equinox. He speeded it up enough to
meet the taxes on power companies,
and bade me a most hearty good-day,
and left.
A job hunter dropped in to see me
Tuesday and said: I don't guess
you ain't got nothing a man can't
do so's he can get a bite to eat, is
you?" 1 told him: "No, what kind
of work are you looking for?" He
a ve red,?" Well, jes' so's it's somethin'
u guy can do without hurting a
sore back and a busted rib: I simply
ain't strong, but if you don't
happen to huve nothin' I can't do for
you, how about lifting me to the tune
of ? thin dime to keep off the wolf?"
(You may not believe it, but I gave
him a nickel).
advertisement
not is: i will have 2 thousand baby
chlx to sell next week at 1 o'clock as
J have set my brooder to come off
then at el2 for 10, all garranteed to
be alive when took off. these chickens
is from the famous red island
roads and their grampaw took all
the blue ribbins at the last state fair
ansoforth, and will make the best
layers and the deepest scratchers and
the loudest crowers in captivity and
the sweetest chicken pie ever was,
come 1, come all, these bargains
won t last, so rite or foam how mantiy
you want, and h ow come, allso bring
the monney. no checks excepted, and
i don't mean mebbe.
yores trulie,
mike Clark, rfd.
The newspapers are full of "In
Momoriams" these days. Nearly .everbody
likes to see something in
print about their loved ones. All of
the contributors speak of "the voice
thHt s still* and "the vacant chair"
and "he's gone on before" and "that
happy shore to die no more," and
many other touching epitaphs. I
think the newspapers should all set
aside a page for the beautiful poetry
and rdmbling prose that the bereaved
seems so full of here of late.]
There is an abundance of talent that
might bo developed along this line,
and I'm sure the editors would rather
have eulogies and poetry than
advertising.
He Was A Stranger And He Took
I'm In.
I)id y< u ever notice how your town
and my town rave over strangers?
How they like to give their best jobs
to people from afar otf .' How wonderful
they think a preacher is if
he is imp rted from some distant
state? What a remarkable person a'
certain school teacher is if she hltppens
to Ik* from Mrfgland or Canada,
or from H>inc other foreign land9
Home-folks and natives ain't in it
with strangers.
And, that reminds me: A Mr.
Fuller Hull blowed into our city not
b>ng ago from the Lord only knows
where. He wore a good suit of
clothes and a bad reputation but nobody
seemed to care about his reputation.
He could toot a flute to
some ext? nt and wielded a mean
mouth on a saxophone, and was not
a bad yodler by any meat.-;.
By some chance Mr. Bull gut himself
into the choir in one of our
Jeading churches one. Sabbath, and
his K-Flat voice caused all uf the
women and half the men to fall for
him. You know when a follow can
get to you thru the medium of the
church the getting ain't so difficult.
In fact, Mr. Hull was practically a
charter member just'as soon as he
belched forth a few notes of "When
the Roll is Called Up Younder." Several
of the lay-members wnnted him
to move his letter right on over, and
a few deacons were in favor of baptising
him on the spot.
Mr. Bull was called "Fuller by
practically everybody in less than 3
weeks. He took tea with different
ladies every evening, ami was invited
out to dinner at least 7 times a
week. 'He became the idol of the
town in praeiieatty no time. He had
folks endorsing bis note (till his
)?*t cheek got in from Philadelphia)
end wm jfty a few defer* ler*
and a few dollar* there every chance.
He had no trouble getting what he
wanted when he wanted it. Folk*
were juat ^tumbling over one another
to do hirn a favor.
He rode in a different car nearly
every day. Flapper* from far and
near hunted up "Fuller" ever and
anon and begged hirn lovingly and
tenderly to take a ?pin with them,
and Fuller rarely ever failed to be
spun. He attended all of the big
function*, and joined the chamber of
commerce, arid subscribed to everything
that he had a chance to aubacribe
to during hi* short stay
amongst us. BUT? ,
About the seventh week, the sheriff
from Bunkville arrived?the night
after Mr. Fuller left. He was an
escaped convict. He was a check
Masher and a note forger and a safe
blower. He was wanted nearly everywhere,
but he was gone to new
fields. But we lov?-d him while he
let us. .We still have his checks and
accounts and notes to the tune of
$/.r>0.00, and some of the girls will
miss him too?in years to come.
Three Civilian Aviators Bead
Wilmington, Calif., March 18.?
Three civilian aviators were killed and
two children were injured here today
when the wing of an airplane collapsed
and sent the machine hurtling
2,300 feet to the ground, crashing in
the front yard of. a home where a half
dozen children were at play.
1 he children ran for safety a:>
the plane came down toward them.
One 14-year-old boy was knocked
unconscious and an apron was torn
from a four-year-old girl by a piece
of falling plane.
The dead were: Jack Martin, 2 4, ,
of Los Angeles, pilot; William H.
Huruburt, of Ivox Angeles, passenger;
1/eonard T. fmglish, of Huntington
Park, Cal., passenger.
Pick The Kind They Like Best
No woman, except the one who
drew a blank at the altar, can understand
what another woman sees in
her husband. Finch thinks her own a
wonder, and feels sorry for other
women becquse their husbands arc
mean or lazy or dumb or wicked; but
my private opinion is that all wives
are in about the same fix. They all
got fouled.
Some months ago a well-padded sister
here in the village expressed sympathy
for another whose husband
takes an occasional snort. Well, the
rascn; does indulge a little; doubtless
his sins worry his wife. But the fat
sister who offered her sympathy has
a husband as crooked as a dog's hind
leg. He acts pious, but everybody in
the village, except his wife, secretly
despises him.
The explanation, I suppose, is that j
every woman picks a mate to suit her
individual taste. If he's crooked or
- neaking or vicious, she loves him
j -till because those qualities fit her
j peculiar standards.
No man has his wife fooled. He
may have fooled her while courting,
bu' she sees through him now. And
i! he continues to admire him, it's
1h ause they are in the same class.
Ma reel le and I pal around and have
i more fun together than either of us
j c-.uld have any other way because we
j are alike?except that 1 am always
j sweet and gentle and she raises hell
.at times.
It s .foolish to waste sympathy on
a wife. As a rule she picked what
-he wanted, and strange as it may
she's satisfied. Her man may seem
sorry to you, but doubtless sh
likes that kind?and she's the ( ne
who has to put up with him. ?Fountain
Inn Tribune.
General revision of all postal rates
were recommended in the houso
representatives of congress on Tu >sda\
when the post-office committee
gave approval to the bill of Represenative
Griest of Pennsylvania. The
bill would restore all postal rates to
the lo\ el of 1921, with reductions
totaling $10,000,000.
Killed His Physician
For Loss of His Lccj
Scranton. Pa.. Marcn 13.? Three
j hours after he had shot and killed Dr.
j Gerald A. Kelly in his office in Jesi
sup, Joseph Kamoniskey, Jr.. 28, al-.>
of Jeswup, was arrested in a thentr"
here yesterday. Kameniskoy attempted
to draw two pistols from n.s
pockets, but was overpowered by the
officers Hustled to police headquarters.
Kameniskoy was turned over
to Sheriff O. C. Davis, to whom h
confessed that he killed the phyeician
because he participated in an operation
three years ago that resulted in
Amputation of his right leg below the
knee. He has since used an artificial
leg. Kameniakey was arraigned on
a charge of murder and held without
bail. The merder took place la Dr.
"Kelly's
?'?w ? ?* I
Odd Note in Ruler*e
Compliment to Liezl
In "Table 'JulU" Juntos Hilly tell*
these yarns
The Intn emperor of Austria. when
l/lnzt played before him, went tip to
compliment him. "| have heard Halts
and Thai hers ?H?d Chopin." he said,
"hut I have never seen anyone' perj
spire like you."
Hilly was Invited to an affair tq
Paris to meet Cheruhlnl It waa
hoped thai the great maeatro would
entertain with hia wonderful talent.
On arriving. Chertihlnl'M tlrat words
were, "Now place me where I alian't
hear a note of music the whole evening"
And so he waa placed, und he
played cards the whole night.
While Coleridge waa traveling with
an aristocratic friend through York
they met a nobleman.
"I'll get up behind.*" aald the poet
"and he'll take rne for a servant."
"Hy no tneana." aald the other;
"that would he worse again. I am
?julte content to have you as a friend,
hut you d disgrace me as a servant."
i*
Cheerfulness a Factor
in Symphony of Life
Cheerfulness Is more precious than
great riches. If I were founding a
new religion Its first commandment
should lie: "Thou shnlt he cheerful."
If I were Instituting a new schfl
of medicine Its fundamental principle
would he: "Cheerfulness on the part
of the doctor, and for the patient good
cheer."
For In the symphony of life much
gold without cheerfulness Is as sounding
brass and tinkling cymbal. llellgiou
without cheerfulness Is a fnoclcery.
Success In the cure of most maladies
depends upon faith and hope
and cheerfulness.
The optimist Is cheerfulness personified;
the pessimist u walking
grouch.
The cheerful optimist makes the
progress of humanity; the growling
pessimist would turn hack the wheel
of time, Ahus with pessimism! Let
cheerfulness reign supreme.? Exchange.
Early Explorer Honored
Capt. John W. Gunnison paid
with his life his search for u feasible
route for a transcontinental railroad.
Gunnison was chief of a corps of
topographical engineers of the United
States War department in 18.13 seeking
a railroad line across the country
from the Missouri river to the Pacific
coast. He crossed what Is ktiowu
today as Uochetopa pass and discovered
the river that bears his name
today. '
Crossing over Into Utah, he reached
the Sevier river, where he was
murdered by Indians October 'Jo,
1803.
Ounnison'8 name today is borne In
Colorado by a river, a national furest,
a county and a city as his lusting
monuments.
Kiss Under indictment
While you are e.yptuining lu the chaperon
e that the kiss is tin excrescence
of civ iliy.uthui, add that the Greeks
who built the Parthenon and burnt the
topless towers of Ilium have ulso (lie
oldest records of nuy kisses on the
Kuiopeun continent All the evidence
>es- tti * iow thai when Paris wooed
Helen lie colfldli't have learned a thing
trom uiiv ot us. An ancient in.am
script quote* Socrates as warning one
f his nrxelples:
"If you kissed u pretty face, would
you not 11 that very instant lose your
;re?'doiu did hecome a slave'/ Would
you not have to spend much money
on umu-cmerits? Hercules ibdi-ml us
from (lie dri-iidful ellecls u poor kiss
can have 1"
The Exposure
He had poured forth pussiotuite declarations
of i,i\4. to the pretly girl at
ids side lie did not think he was
apable of ,-uch ebajnelice. Ycl In
'he midst of his loving words the girl
vawiicd. r.vcn though she raised her
hand to corneal It. It did not escape
bis eager eye His torrent of burning
vord* ceased The light of hope died
n Ills eyetir
"Why Speak to you of love?" be
lied. hoarsely. "You are utterly
icartless: Your yawn showed it:"
"<di, Clarence." she whispoieil. hor"r-strlckoii.
did I open uiy inotitlj us
w * tie as that?"
- -
Mother To'.d
Hcpey age st\. asked la- mother
' v '--"I bad a party the previous
n'^ld and his mother replied;
..uiit Ito-a ami I m-le Carl were mar'cd
y c-tcrday and we had ? party last
'Uol on that Mi? oiniT "
T'? this lie replied * "Aim: hosji Is
o good to got mart ?-.| "
I don t i'iider?'s11iiI w 11?iI v "ii m<-a ti
?y that, his motbor |
"Well, when people gi i nail ril-d they
nave to get a dlvono Ae you db},
.nd I think Aunt I;..- . ?,?) I'm-e
arl are too good to h.ive a divorce,*'
e leptied
I __ if
Match This C.te
j
; The Mg car was stall.-.i it the bof.
>m of a Steep hill A pa? n- tllv ?ei\
-eelng the predicament the driver waa
n. offered to tow him up !.?. |,||| TW
Irlver of the tvlg car smlleil . omh-Mec>?<|
ugly. MR he h greed The thv ver puUml
lie big fellow op As ther palled
?h# top. th? owner of the hirger \f
blcU waked, "What Is all rha: smok*
ondng from the hack of y..ur)cvTY~
"Ju?t Imag er." came ?? ,. ?n n *-r,
T*t had my h??kc* on ill ,|,? t
Missionary Union Largely Attended
The fifteenth annual meeting of
the Baptist Woman's Missionary
Union of Kershaw Association was
' held at Hermitage church near Cam4er}f
March 8th. The attendance was
very large, eleven churches being
represented. The meeting was opened
at 11 o'clock in the morning wit^
Superintendent presiding. After singing
a hymn, greetings and a cordial
welcome was extended the members
by Hermitage. The response was
made by Mrs. May White, from Pisgah.
The devotional was led by Mrs.
P. E. Blackmon, followed with prayer
by Mrs. Vonnie I>ance. Guests
of honor were presented to the union
in the following order: Mrs. J. D.
Chapman, of Anderson, state president;
Miss Vonnie Lance, state corresponding
secretary; Miss Cornelia
Bowers, returned missionary from
Chile, who teaches in a girls school
at Temieo. She was appointed in
1921 and is the only missionary wo
have from South Carolina in Chile.
Mrs. J. D. Chapman and Miss
Cornelia Bowers each delivered inspiring
addresses during the morning
session. A message in song was
brought by Miss Kenny accompanied
by Mrsv Kate Watts. A wonderful
spirit of enthusiasm was noticeable
during the entire session. Several
committees were appointed and some
short talks were made. Various officials
discussed briefly the work of |
their respective departments. J**16
morning session adjourned shortly
after 1 o'clock with prayer by Rev.
C. L. Norman. All present including
visitors as well as delegates were extended
a cordial invitation to partake
of the bounteous picnic luncheon
spread on the church grounds.
The afternoon 'devotional was led
by Migs Swanny Kenny, after which
time was given to the corresponding
secretary for her address on the
Ruby anniversary. She gave valuable
information concerning this
work, it was also instructive and inspiring
to listen to the history of
past W. M. U. work. The committee
on time and place for the next annual
meeting reported an invitation
from Mt. Pisgah and accepted.
Provisional estimates by the eensu^
bureau at Washington give the population
of the United States as of July
1, as being 120,013,000, an increase of I
14 per cent over the figures of 1920,!
when the population was 105,710,620 1
by actual count. South Carolina's
population is estimated at 1,864?000,
as compared with 1,683,724 in 1920.
,? ^ o
Honor Roll ChaMotte Thompson
School
Grade 1.?Sec. A.?Frank DuBose.
Grade 2.?Anne Clarkson, Albert
Irby, Carrie Baker, Mary Moseley,
Lila Dixon, Raymond Dennis, Rowena
Schiver.
Grade 3.?Doris Workman, Shell j
West, Lee West, Iva Lou Arrants, i
Dorothy Creed.
Grade 4.?Patrick Dennis, Thelma
Anderson, Lucile Dees.
1 Grade 5.?Thelma Baker, Sam Boykin,
Marietta Thompson, Margaret
Gaskins.
I Grade. 6.?Pollye West.
Grade 7.?Howze Evans, Elizabe^B^
Gillis, filary Lindsay Pearce.
Grade 8.?Ruth Dixon, Jam^p"
Seagle. | j
Grade 9.?Elizabeth Workm^B '
Elizabeth Baker, Frances Denifl
Blanding Clarkson.
Grade 10.?Maureen Sowell, H^B
rietta Irby, Swannie Kenney. H<.-j
Grade 11.?Eva Irby, Sydney DM;
nis. ^VTh
Fourteen miners are still miuflj
following an explosion and fire
Auora silver mine near Tezid^H
Mexico on Monday.
EXCURSIONS
TO
? t >
Magnolia Gardens and Middleton
Plpce Gardens
v'
Charleston, South Carolina
Friday and Saturday, March 30-31,
April 6-7,1928.
VIA
SOUTHERN RAILWAY SYSTEM
%
At the following low round trip fares from principal
points:
Camden $4-00
Columbia $4.00
Winnsboro ... rrm. $5.00
Chester $5.50
<
Rock Hill $6.00
Lancaster $5.50
Kershaw $5.00
I
Proportionate low round trip fares from all intermediate
stations. '
Excursion tickets good going on all regular
trains including No. 16 leaving Columbia at 2:20 a.
m., April 1 and 9, and good returning to reach original
starting point by midnight Wednesday following
datfc of sale. Excursion tickets also sold March 23 to
April 12 at greatly reduced fares.
Call on ticket agents for descriptive literature
of these famous Gardens.
W E. McGEE T). P. A., R. S BROWN, D. P. A.,
Columbia, S. C. Augusta, Ga. |
. .t ^. 11.. i n * ' H M tinLiiSc
Check On This Bank
1 - S " "'77*3
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our officers and employes. This will result in a greater familiarity on J
your part with banking customs and often in the profitable U3e of some J
of the bank's service. . ^
The First National Bank
I , Of Camden, South Carolina |lv. v 1
I ONLY NATIONAL BANK I