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Nobody's Business Written for The Chronicle by Gee McGee, Copyright, 1W27. Fur hi Relief. 1 hid ti farmer, wild thut a that. I am an accidental farmer and that's worhi-. All the money I ever made in my life was loaned on real estate mortgages and now I own the land, and the mortgages own rne. I am getting along the beat I can. 1 am de|>fnding a great deal on the government. I um sure Uncle iiain won I sit idly by and watch me sink. 1 have no liberty bonds or treasury notes, so can not borrow any money from the ha/iks to farm on. 1 therefore just filed my application with the agricultural credit association und have answered their questions the following return wiU show: Q. Are you a farmer, if so, why? A.?-Yes. Damfino. Xj. ? What do you want with $00.00 and when do you want it? A.?Buy' guano. Now. Q. Are you married, if so, why, where, when and by whom, and does she work in the field .' A. ? Yes. Don't know. Her home. Forgot. 1'reucher. No. Q.?-Do you own a mule: give his age, color, habits, weight and bust measurements. A.?No, a hull. H years. Kinder black. Had. 525 lbs. Ain't busted yet. Q.?Where'd you get that old Ford, an<l how many children have you? A.?Garage. Six of my own and 3 of my wife's. (.^.?Do you plow deep, if so, when? A. ?No, 1 plow a hull. All the time I am plowing. Q.?Will you turn all your cotton, corn, hay, fend, hogs, pigs, cows, calves and miscellanious products over to us as fast as you gather same ? A.?Yes, if I have any. (Don't count too big on me if it don't rain.) Q.--Do you ever bathe, if so, nume kind of soap you u-e, if any A.?Yes, once a year. 'Dir. or lyeQ. ? Do you owe any hack instalments, grocery bill*, taxes, insurance, preacher, or wife ? A. Yes, yes. yes, yes, yes, \es, yes, yes. yes, yes. ? Are you a fool, do you chow tobacco, do you drink soda water? A N", are you'' Yes. No. and can't drink any till I get this money 1 ><> you waste money or si>end it foolishly? A. ? Don't know. Ain't never had none yet. Q.?How many biscuits do you eai and does your daughter dip snuff. A. About 12. No, does yourn? <^. ?Have you any plows, hoes, radio, turkeys, or dogs ? A. No. No. ^ es fi. Also the itch and a pet squirrel. -Have you ever given a chattel mortgage before? If so, when? A.- Ve<. l'.Mii, It'll; 1 'J 12, It'ld, ll'l 1. It" 15. 11' 1 *?. lt'17, 11)In. 1D21 and every yea: -:nce then, and my fatlu : gave them before me, and left them behind htm. (}.?Can > "U make 111 ..r 15 haU*s < !' cotton with the .MI dollars you want ? ,\. Oh. yes. Am counting on 25 l?al? Made 7 last year on nothing. Do you cuss, if so, when and why ? A.?Yt?. Nearly all the time, on account of my wife ami her folks. (J.?If you don't gvt this money, what will you do? A.? Nothing hut will move hack li1 the cotton mill. The under-priv deged or backward child /nu> he it h.easing in diaguiae for all we know Somebody's got to stay at home and work and help ma and pa make a living so'a the smarter kids can go to school. And furthermore, we always need aome ignorant folk.* to send to the legislature. A terrible tiling happened in a business man s office in our town the other day Somebody knocked on the door and when his stenographer tried to jump hurriedly from his lap, she hung her shoe heel on his watch chain and jerked his -specks off, ansoforth. I am a strong believer in the practice of economy. Every person who druws a salary should lay aside a few dimes for a rainy day, and I am therefore taking the liberty of suggesting a method of using your income. For instance: if you ure drawing 26 dollars a week, you should spend it in this manner: Pay on auto $13..'id Pay radio 6.33 Pay on wife's dress . . . 2.00 Pay on furniture .... g.oo Pay on your Huit .... 2.00 Pay on grocery bill ... .00 Pay on church dues ... .01 Pay on range 7.33 Pay on doctor bill 0i| Pay on rent 00 Pay for gasoline .... f>.20 Pay for repairs 7.25 Pay for servants 00 After paying the foregoing obligations from your 25-doIlars a week, you will have 30 dollars a week left, and, by all means, you should save the same. Now. fellows: It's pretty hard to keep a-going at this gait unless you have a job where you are permitted to handle hits and lots of money. A great many people jjre doing this thing, apparently, so why not you? Everybody's riding and' listening-in now a days on credit. I saw a flapper going down the ; street the other afternoon with a pair of large black galoshes on. and they Were hanging louse from her j legs and flapping about like a hath- i towel on the clothes line. She re-j minded me of an did gander that had 1 been wading around in some tar, J and had started home. And the worst 1 part of the thing is: some day some ' poor boy will marry a girl like that and expect to have a wife. I | A Mlensite approached mo the oth- : er day and said that I should apologize for saying that Please alwavs votes with the republicans; there| fore, 1 am pleased to say that I am sorry that Please always votes with the republicans. Invited To Services. I., lb Moiant, pastor in charge of A. M. I-.. Church, on South Ma:n Street, issues the following inflation to attend services at his church: "The memls-rs and friends the A. M. E Church, south Mam -'runt, extend to the public a cordial \itation to worship with them at each of their service-. The Re\ .1. ^ Shaw has recently been assig ed to the church as pastor ami will ten- , lier services there every Sunday! night. The services were most inspiring Sunday night last and three j persons cast their lots with that I growing congregation. Our white! fi lends are also asked to assist us when an opportunity presents it- : self," W hen the King of Spain is in Eng- ! land, one of his favorite pastimes i?c, to mount a bus-top ineogi :to and rale about the town. COLUMBIA LUMBER & MANUFACTURING CO. MILL WORK. SASH. bOORS, BLINDS AND LUMBER PLAIN & HI ER STS. PUnf 71 COLUMBIA, S. C. ! Feed your crops a 1; BALANCED RATION of both NITRATE and AMMONIA I by side'dressing with \ Leunasalpeter | (Ammonium?Sulphate?Nitrate) \ 2,6% Nitrogen = 31.5% Ammonia LEUNASALPETER ha* been uied with striking iucccii by manufacturer* a* a major source of nitrogen in mixed fertii- ^ irer*. 1* equally efficient a* a side or top-dressing. * LEUNA1ALPETER i* a high-analysis nitrogen fertiHier. Apply 75-125 pound* per acre a* side'dressing between the j row* at time of cultivation. For sale by dealer* everywhere. Synthetic Nitrogen Products V \ Allans*. O*. CofpOrHtiOn New York. N.Y. | V v/ \ "It** Nitrogen from the Air" J LMiiwaisBiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaiiiiiBiwa^^l MARCH FARM CALENDAR H.ii.kb To Ik Done Thia Month Am Outlined By Clemaon. Agronomy Make an application of readily available ammonia to email grain* a? ?oon a- possible. Get j.anting need on band and be certain of a aufficient supply for expected acreage. J11.kpet t all machinery and irnplemerits and put in condition for immediate use. Break early and thoroughly all land, especially cluy and clay loame. Use h'.rrowa at this time and reduce the amount of cultivation necessary later in the season. Prepare to plant an abundance of feed and forage crops. Horticulture Fertilize the home orchard. Prune and spray fruit trees before the buds begin' to swell, if this was not done earlier. Continue to plant fruit trees throughout March. Sow seed for winter celery and sow cabbage seed for late crop. Transplant carman, dahlias, and chrysanthemums. Prune rose bushes. Spray Dorothy Perkins and other varieties subject to mildew with Bordeaux. \N hen the cafbbage plants are taken from the hotbed, sow tomato, peppe1*, and .ggplant in the frames. Plant Diseases A [.ply the dormant spray. If pot on it will control plant diseases but not if "put off." Prepare stock solutions now for Bordeaux mixture. Treat sweet potato seed before bedding. I reat melon and cucumber seed with corrosive sublimate to kill anthracnose and other spores. Delint cotton seed for better germination and disease control. Order wilt-resistant tomato seed for spring planting. Entomology Protect the tobacco seedbed from flea beetle injury by means of a frame work covered with cheese cloth. Overhaul the spray pump for the spring spraying. Secure the necessary materials for spraying and get Extension Circular 5H, with complete spraying program. Put calyx spray on apples for coddling moth at the proper time. Give first treatment against wcirms in jieaches just after the petals fall, second when the shucks are shedding. Avoid corn after corn on billbug infested land. Paint bee hives. The combs seldom molt down in hives painted white. Dairying Remove the cows fr<>m pastures infested with wild onions, bitter weeds and other noxious weeds three or four hours before milking time to prevent taint in the milk. ' .ean ui> barn lots and dairy premises and haul off litter in order to destroy breeding places for flies. Seed . r sod pastures with tame g asses Native pasture grasses annot be depended on. Freshen up the dairy premise* with whitewash on all buildings and fences wn .h have not been painted. Go over the pasture fences and see. that tin \ are in good repair. Poultry * Make <?ure that the brooder stove is kept at the proper temperature for the Young chicks. On cold nights :t may he necessary to provide a little extra heat. Get chicks out into the sunshine for a few hours each day if possible, but do not allow them to become chilled. Make special effort to provide g.een feed for the young chicks. Plan for the summer supply now. Provide a separate range for the young chicks on fresh land. Do not expect strong vigorous chicks if raised on soil infested wit a disease an 1 parasite. Animal Husbandry (live sows special care at farrowing time. I. possible allow sows t > farrow and raise their pigs on new territory not infested with internal parasites. Dock lambs when about two weeks old. Place lambs on territory not infested with stomach worms. Make use of green pastures such a> barley, oats, and rye. Keep sheep under shelter during the cold spring rains. ( arry beef herds on cheap feeds hut do not allow them to lose much v^eight. Allow horses and mules a little more feed than usual and gradually accustom them to the spring work. The pads of water lilies growing in a St. Louis park are strong enough to hold the weight of a man standing on a single pad. IN THE CAROLINA8 Items Of Interest Cleaned From the i'tlHTK Of TWO Mrs. A. F. Filer, who died ?ear Weaverville, was i*8 years old and leaves great-great-grandchildren. A robbery at Winston-Salem, N. Wednesday morning was much like the one at Rock Hill a few days previously. In the Tarheel city the thieves got away with 50 suits of clothes and a largo quantity of other guods. The pistol shot wound of Col. I/ero.v Springs proved to he not dangerous, and he will be hack to his office soon. Kid red Griffith who shot him was released on $10,000 bond on a charge of assault with intent to kill. Dillon Hayes died at Gastonia Wednesday after lying for two weeks in a hospital as a result of being struck by an uutomobile and his skull fractured. The taxi driver who hit him was exonerated by the evidence of spectators. Another attempt to try a do&cn North Carolinians for hogging was halted at Raleigh, N. C., by the discovery that the jury venire of a hundred men brought from Chatham county had been drawn illegally. A new venire of 150 men was ordered drawn. The Hoggings occurred a year ago, and A. K. Jones and his negro helper were the victims. A whole business block of Maxton, N. ('., was burned with loss of over $75,000 Wednesday morning. The business houses burned were the D. Pender grocery; Austin Drug company; J. C. Daniels Furniture company; Masonic lodge; Scottish Chief Publishing company; the stock of the Maxton Furniture company was badly damaged by smoke and water. Murray Ward, of Rockingham, N. C., shot C. B. Meares, of Lumberton, in the knee and stomach aboard a Southern railroad passenger train and is in jail. The wounded man is in a hospital and expected to recover. After the shooting, Ward jumped from the train and escaped in the woods for awhile. He objected to the relations of Meares with his mother. Three unmasked bandits went into the bank at Norman, N. C., Tuesday, locked the cashier in the vault, stole $250 and escaped in an automobile evading capture by making a sharp change of direction several miles out the road they started to use. A dozen miles away, they abandoned their roadster, got into a sedan with two women waiting for them, and all trace of the party was lost near Troy. The men and the women, who waited in the road for two hours for the bandits, were all well dressed. Seven Bandits Arrested Chicago, Feb. 26.?Seven men and five women were held by police today for questioning in connection with the $133,000 pay roll holdup of a Grand Trunk friail train at Evergreen park, near here, Saturday morning. Deputy Police Commissioner Will.am E. O'Connor said that among those suspected of complicity in the train robbery is Mrs. Lillian Litsinger, wife of Virgil Litsinger, a nephew* nf Edward R. Litsinger, member of the Chicago board of review and prominent in city politics. Commissioner O'Connor also said that nearly $18,000 of the loot had been recovered. It was found hidden, he .-aid, in the home of Charles Cleaver, which police raided early today on a "tip." Wrights' Plane Taken to I^ondon. London, Feb. 21.?The biplane in which the Wright brothers made their first successful flight at -Kitty Hawk, N. C., landed on English soil from the Minewaska today. The famous plane will be placed on exhibition in the Science Museum at South Kensington. (Orville Wright, on the departure of the plane from the United States for England was quoted as spying that failure of the Smithsonian Institute to give proper credit to the original plane which he and his brother developed was the chief reason for sending the biplane out of the country.) Hickman's Record for Cruelty. Says Our Dumb Animals: Had William Edward Hickman joined a Band of Mercy in his early days and been taught lessons of kindness to animals he might have been spared from the atrocious crime for which he was arrested. The report comes that a neighbor living on a farm adjoining the Hickman homestead in Arkansas says that the misguided youth took apparent delight in twisting the necks of her pet kittens and pigeons and in torturing a dog. The streaks of violent temper of that early period were evidently unrestrained. An ounce of humaine education in the schooi and in the home is worth a ton of punishment when it is too late. An eminent explorer maintains that cannibals are very proud of their table manners. Three Negro Castaways. Florence, Fob. 26.?Halfstarved and bearing on their backs the marks of frequent beatings, three small negro children were yesterday given iato the custody of Judge of Probate J. Rob Law re nee by a negro man named Jamison who said the waifs had been at his house over a week. Jamison told officials that Saturday night, February IS, when the weather was bitterly cold, he discovered the children huddled in the corner of the chimney base underneath his house. They were thinly clad and wrapped in each others arms trying to keep warm. It was learned that the little negros were the children of Charlie Johnson and Judge Lawrence immediately issued a warrant for the arrest of the man and his wife, the stepmother of the castoffs, charging them with cruelty and neglect. It is believed the children ran away to escape beating and as night came on sought refuge "underneath Jamison's house. They range in ages from two to five years. The children were pitifully thin and plainly showed the effects of starvation rations. Congressman John J. McSwain, of Greenville, has announced his camdidacy for re-election from the fourth district, and thus far has no opposition. He has been in the house since 1920. The Old State road betwta lum/bia and Charleston, an N highway since colonial days in 8 "Carolina, Is to-^be-paaftej passage of a local bill authi Calhoun, Orangeburg and Bd counties to do the work und* pay-as-you-go act. The intentii not to pave it at once, but to haw way cleared for work later wh? lie demand for the paving btf greater. TheCreai] Of the _____ Tobacc Crop Lucky ' Strikes are the Favorite Brand of Paul Whiteman"It was but recently, when I started to act as masta ceremonies with my band at the ParamountTheatrej I realized how vital perfect voice condition tvast performer. I have always been a consistent smol and fortunately, Lucky Strikes were my favoritebra I like their toasted flavor and, best of all, Icanm as often as I like, without fear of irritating my vo which is becoming a great p-v f) asset in my work." "It's toasted No Throat Irritation-No Cough. : ?? " I I I II n KJmmmt NOTICE OF LOST CERTlFlCfl OF STOCK Notice is hereby given thatflj cate of stock No. 63, coverinfl (10) shares of the capital bUw The Camden Land and Improsj Company, has been lost or desra and that application will be nuB the undersigned to the said cofl tion on the 26th day of March,jfl for a new certificate. J. DAYTON VOORHEl Camden, S. C., Feb. 9, 1928. -^ FINAL DISCHARGE 1 Notice is hereby given thtfj month from this date, on S?t? March 3rd, 1928, \vc will file Probate Judge of Kershaw Qfl our final return as Executors? estate of Kate A. Villepiglfl ceased, and on the same datoj apply to the said Judge for discharge from our trust as eCutors. WALTER I. VILLEPJ marion cm Camden, S. C. February l>Vfl I Creates Happiness 1 I Those who have habits of industry Mm I wise economy are the only really hapM | persons. Industry and thrift are sttjM I rewarded. The bank adds a stimulus? | saving by the addition of interest Jrel I Loan & Savings BaiH I CAPITAL $100,000.00 I I >7