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J Uwll ?l 'I Nobody's Business Written lor The (Chronicle by (ice McGee, C0PyriicM? 1027. Mistakes I Have Mndr l.ateiy i asked Naminie Glutton and hu "? t>oys to go to dinner with me one day last week, and they went. (They were an hungered, and my wife led 'em? and then bawled me out). ' i cashed u check for J4 dollars for it man who "traded out" f> dollars ' and lost 11 dollars. (He was a stranger, and he look me in). i failed to lock my trunk and now ( the little Armenians are wearing some of my best clothes. (They were! naked--and the missionary society e)othed them). I had only a pint of "bottled in barn" and I loaned it to a man who aid, thut he had a sick wife. (Found out later that he wasn't even married, but he was thirsty, and I gave him <) drinks). I picked up a guy that was walking down the road. He was tired and all run down and weary and foot-sore, and 1 ministered unto him. (He stole my pliers and 2 inner tubes and 3 packages of patching cement). My cousin got mixed up with a pistol and landed in jail and 1 visited hirn. (I wan coerced into going on his bond, and now his whereabouts are unknown. Notice: A liberal reward will be paid to the perron or persons who will furnish information sufficient to locate and arrest Heza Hyrd). I was going down the street at only 10 miles an hour. A girl was going down the sidewalk adjoining the street at f?0 yards an hour. She had on a short dress and silk stockings. 1 had my hands on the steering wheel and my eyes on her. Suddenly a telephone post jumped right kerdab in front of me. (My car is in the garage, I am limping on 2 feet, and the girl is at home with her husband, and my wife is-.still trying to find out the cause of the accident). ? I hired a new eook. She was from the country and full of same. She had heard of gas, but had never cooked with it. She was afraid to turn it out as she didn't know how; to re-light it. Now, I'm having trou-j We with the gas company, and they ray it is according to the "meet-hcr." J'm sorry now I ever had the mis-J fortune to meet her. I have no cook now, and no money t<> hire one with; (Will tomt' friend kindly let me know where 1 ten get ?on?e bi-chloride of mercury?) A Day in My Sweet Young I-ife I was raised down on the farm 1 tun not old, but 1 w*.-. "hacing in} row" in the ourly tiO's. When 1 wuii i eight years old I recall thut 1 was a "model" boy, ihut is - I wu? uii I s and *J2 model. I was no worse than the best and no better than the worst of my neighborhood. There were very few white folks in the community where 1 was brought up, and niggers were even scarcer. 1 always got up about 4:1ft a. m. I had to, if I expected to get any breakfast. My folks didn't "put up" anything for anybody back in those days of much work and no worry. We always ate breakfast by lamp light, ami when Mr. Daylight peeped over the horizon, he found every body from a mule to me mighty busy. Hut Sunday would come along occasionally, ami we never got up till about an hour before sun-up on Sundays. I am about to tell you of an average day for me when I was hi years old. I recall that 1 had a pair of jeans britches, but they were sj much trouble, I rarely ever wore them, but my shirt was rather Jong, Shoes were practically unknown in my community, and 1 didn't know any more then what underwear was than a bull frog does about a hot supper. We always had plenty meat and bread at our house, but such food as that was never entirely satisfactory to the stummick of a youth of my desires and habits, and by S:15 o'clock, 1 hail devowed a quart of green plums and 2 dozen green apples and was hunting for a blackberry patch. By noon, or dinner time as we then called it, I was eating until everything had disappeared from the table. In the afternoon, I would eat more green plums, and no water-melon patch was safe if it hovered within the borders of my knowledge of the world. 1 ate huckleberries and gooseberries and any other berries that looked good, and if 1 ever had the belly-ache from devouring such commodities, I don't remember it. I was especially fond of onions and eschalots (shellots) and cucumbers in those balmy days, and I managed to conceal a few of those edibles each day in addition to my regular meals ,? E rrf" 1 and other mattered diet. I always carried a few raw potatoes and a turnip or two to bed with me to gnaw on till I got aleepy. I wa* called out of bed only about ?iC5 nights a year to wash my feet, and lea* than a pint of water for that pur> pose was always too much. I lived ' and grew fat, and if 1 ever suffered i any inconvenience for keeping up i with my natural desires, it has *hp ped my memory. Now, 1 eat oat' meal for breakfast, and oatmeal for 1 dinner and oatmeal for supper. 1 i have been wondering if that "green truck" 1 ate 30 years ago put off ruining my innards and digestive organs until now. Mebbc so, but 1 don't believe it. Hut those were good times just the same. Automobile Casualties There are 110,717,922 people in the United States connected directly or indirectly with the manufacture and Use of automobiles. In fact, everybody except the few people in the insane asylums, poorhouses, 'and penitentiories are working for the automobile manufacturers. It is estimated that there are over 5 million people actually engaged in making automobiles, ami then there are 3 million more guys hired to assemble them and set them up. Over -1 million men and wom> n are working in garages and automobile repair shops. Then on further investigation you will find that 1 million inhabitants are busy vulcanizing, patching, and putting shoes in blowouts and punctures. About 2 million citizens are running around selling tires and tubes and patching cement, and it takes 1 million additional helpers to manufacture and ship the aforesaid stuff to the consumers. wUp to last night, the actual number of men, women, children, bootleggers, politicians, and parasites, engaged in the profession, occupation, and avocation of dispensing the gas i and (ji 1 and other intoxicants com i mon to the use of motorists, was i 15,457,987, exclusive of the Standard I Oil Company's home office employi ees, the number of which is 1, 876,237, I but not counting John I). himself, i (That's what we call the filling station population.) 1 Then come the 2 million men emi ployed as traffic cops and speed cops and crossing stoppers and magisi trates and deputies and jailers. Add i to this. 1, million men who are haul | ing in wrecks, and burying the dead, j collecting past due installments, and 1 writing catchy advertisements. ; This bring us down to the remaining few who are working to pay for I automobiles, and this crowd numbers i oT.Tsp Their wages go for payment hrtd gas and oil and repairs, They work -th hours a week in order that they may ride 6 hours a week. They sweat and stint and strain . themselves until wrinkles form un| der their blood-shot eyes before they are 22 years of age. So the world moves on. Henry , Ford accumulated about 2 billion idollais from the sale of his lizzies, j That money was not thrown awav. | Tie's still got it, but he's not throwj irg much of it hack to the crowd i w ho .-wealed and worried over it. j The (leneral Motors and all the kindred mtomohile makers have turnled out stuff that folks were crazy over, and they sold it-. That's uhv .nobody wants a farm or a house hr 1 Jort i. ii i i.if ESCAPE PHI80N Two-Gun ViVitor To**** Them Weapon* and Th$n They Flee Pittsburgh, Aug. lb. ?With the stage setting even more dramatic than that of the Kiddle brothers In their escape in 1902, two first degree murder prisoners late today walked to freedom from the office door of the Allegheny county jail in the downtown section ami escaped in a waiting automobile. The fugitives are Paul Jawarski, convicted murderer and leader of the rubber gang that dynamited the armored pay cars near ttoe Coverdale mine last March, and His pal, .John Vasbinder, both awaiting electrocution. Armed posses are in pursuit. These include citizens, county detectives, state police ami private detectives. The' Middles made love to the warden's wife, got the keys from her, stole some horses and fled. The two who escaped today received guns tossed by an unidentified two-gun visitor, rushed down a corridor and shot Harry Rigcr and John Hanlon, guards, through the shoulders when they attempted to stop the prisoners. Then the fugutives and their confederate, guns in hand, walked into the jail office and covered Paul Beis. wenger, the bookkeeper. "We are going to leave here, so don't interfere," said Jawarski. "Give us the keys, throw up your hands and don't shout, or we will kill you." To make their demands more emphatic the three fired several shots in the office. Mrs. Annie "McFrederick, the jail missionary wforker; Mrs. Margaret Taylor and her daughter, Mrs. G. J. Vetter, were the other occupants of the office. Bullets whizzed and the women ducked behind dmiks, barely escaping wounds. Havfng forced the bookkeeper to give up the keys, the desperadoes, guns ip hand, walked to the massive door gates facing Ross street, opened them and walked down the dozen steps to the street through a large crowd attracted by the shooting inside. Sight of the automatics awed the spectators and none dared interfere. The fugitives wulked perhaps fifty feet, stepped into a waiting ear and escaped in the dense traffic. Warden John McNeil was out of] the city on his vacation. The two guards were not seriously injured. Just as the men walked out/some one telephoned to police headquarters a riot call. When the police arrived the fugutives had had a start of five minutes. 1 he automobile in which the prisoners fled was identified by its license number. It is owned in W'oodlawn, Pa. Jawarski was arrested in connection with a payroll holdup of the Pittsburgh Terminal Coal Corporation. He confessed to this and other robberies in which guards were killed. Jawarski also confessed to participation in the ( oversdale holdup in which an armoured car and one carrying guards were blown up and a Sim.000 payroll fund stolen. Jawarski took the keys from Beiswenger as he left the jail. Beiswenger had no time to step on the button in the floor which would sound the riot call. Find Floggers Guilty Soperton. Ga? Aug. 17.?Raymond Lee was found guilty by a superior court jury here tonight of a charge of assault with intent to murder in connection with the flogging of H. M. T landers, editor of a local newspaper. on the night of February 26. The verdict which carries a penalty of from three to five years in the state prison, was returned at 1(1 :J0 P. M., after the jury had deliberated exactly two hours. Sentence will be passed at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning by Judge Eschol Graham, who presided at the trial. It has been estimated that there are 20.000,000 radio listeners in this country. Marion Hreaka Fire-Followers i The Fire Department, Police De- I partment and the Mayor played a \ nifty trick upon Marion's "fire fol- a lowers" Wednesday afternoon, by turning in a false alarm, having the t big red truck to dash through t Main Street to Jones Avenue?and p then roped- in the public. About r twenty cars took the bait and land- t ed at the scene of the imaginary c conflagration about as quickly as \ the fire truck. When they arriv- t ed they found firemen standing in { the middle of the street, grinning j sheepishly; dfsgusted at the sight j the ladies and gentlemen who had rushed to the fire turned about, to j leave the scene of their ehargin? , and lo! police officers had stretched ropes across the streets and had them penned up. Each of them was given a notice to appear before the Mayor the next morning at 10 o'clock, to answer for the violation of a well known ordinance. The following morning they appeared. and were told by Hizzoner that "today this is my court and I am going to forgive you and let! you go free, without fines, but 1 | warn you that your name is in the! j hands of the police department and , j when next you attend a fire with i your car, as you did yesterday, you , j will take charge of this court and ! automatically impose a fine of from j $25 to $100 upon yourself?and you j cannot then blame me." He added I that he was very much in earnest t about the violation of this ordinance j and that police officers have been inI struoted to arrest every person ( caught within the fire limits hereafter with an automobile. ( Chief of Police Tumblin states ; that the law is very plain, and is as follows: "Upon the sound of i the fire siren, stop and park, wherever you happen to be, for a period of five minutes. Do not follow the fire truck closer than .100 to 1 500 feet, and then only if you are 1 apprehensive about your own prop- j erty. If you drive^to the neigh- ] borhood in which the fire is located i do not approach the fire truck closer 1 than a distance of 500 feet. Park 1 it that distance andflj 3on't run over the Bj i vith the ' machinery oB.T."ny way whatsoever." , ! ;' Every person who attfl hro^pgh mere curiosity itfl ' he way, and is a menaceB iroperty while going. TcJfl nent has over twenty mfl j hey do not need you ertainly they do not wantB dock the Btreets with yfl ,hus preventing firemen fB ing to the truck and makiqB josstble to move the tru<B ^lace to place, as is often |B When next the alarm it may be false or it may i^H precious moments mustfl wasted by the firemen?B where you are, and give tfl a chance to do somethinB cannot gain your own cB st'op-?take some change fl as all persons violating tlB measure are going to be ufl that's what the Chief says, fl Last Call To Altx-fl "William," said she, sewM many more times are jm|B ask me to marry you ?,* !& "Clara," said he, that question, but I deflfl bother you much longer.tH other three girls I'm pifl shows sings of wcakegijjj^^ !y Scotsman. 5,600 Grizzlies in U. IB As a result of a recent wild animals in 160 natioai^B ;sts of the United States, Hifl that there are more than tH feer;V72,000 elk; 46,000 browsB >,600 grizzly bears; 12,000 t*j sheep; 18,000 mountain >68 caribotf. During the first seven motif 1927 the life insurance conn#* :he United States issued 56,713,000,000 of life insurtf! fain of 1.7 per cent over the period of last year. TKese represent the business df the five leading companies of the try. ..e^J Jbr Economical Transportation ===^^^^^1=^ idilaMMlah# "World's Lowest Ton-Mile Cost Tens of thousands of users have Learned by actual comparison that Chevrolet provides the lowest tonmile cost* in the history of the commercial car industry! Come to our salesroom and learn for yourself how Chevrolet is designed and built to save you money. Note the advanced, modern engineering?typified by a powerful valve-in-head motor, with three-speed trans* ron-milr cost is ihf cost of franifKminj a ton of matt-rial one mile ? or ill equivalent. mission and sturdy single-plate disc-clutch. Mark the rugged, quality construction throughout; heavy channel steel frame ? massive banjo-type rear axle?long extraleaved, heavy steel springs, set parallel to the frame. Go for a trial load demonstration?and see how perfectly Chevrolet meets your own haulage requirements. If you do that, the next truck you buy will be a Chevrolet! &T?uTruck 395 l-Too Truck $ A Q C Chaaai. 1-Ton Truck $/l "I A Chaitii with Cab O lv All price* f. . b. Flint, MicK. Onli CTu?nl>t m1v?m4 >?um Thtt Include the lowest handling RHF and financing charges ivtlkabla I WELSH MOTOR COMPANY North Brood Street C mclep? c. C. Tfc. WORLD'S LARGEST BUILDEI. OF GEAR-SHIFT TRUCKS I I 1 V-r '' ' fmmmmmrnmi H i I . LAST EXCURSIOl TO WASHINGTON, D. c B Friday, September 2, 1927 I Southern Railway Syst J Round trip fsrea hh follows: ! : ' Camden $11.50 'm'-'-l Chester .... 12.50 Rock Hill 11.50 S Sumter 12.50 I Proportionate round trip fares from internal j stations. BIG BASEBALL GAMES: WasfflB Senators vs. Boston Red Sox, September 3 and 4 a Going: Tickets will be sold to be good g0in(l | regular trains Friday, September 2, except Crejl Limited. Returning: Tickets will be gootl returning 0.1 regular trains, except Crescent Limited, so as to J original starting point prior to midnight Wedn3 September 7, 1927. j | | Tickets good in Pullman sleeping and parlor J | ! upon payment of Pullman charge. i A fine opportunity to visit the nation's C&t^H Wonderful parks, Washington Monument, LibrM Congress, Zoological Park, Lincoln Memorial, Natifl Museum and Mt. Vernon. I For information, tickets and Pullman rcservat^l j call on Southern Ry. ticket agents or address W. E. McGEE, I Div. Pats. Agent, ' Columbia, S. 1 1 _ 1 : Dropped 3000 Feet?Picked Up Unbroken '] Parker Duofold wtth 25 - Year Point?Non-Breakable Barrel Wd have * comPUte assortment of Parker DuofoM Is WUh th* Non-B'a*kable Barrels that have J stood every kind of grueling test, auch as a 3000 foot 1 mPo ?m "n *eToP'*n*' Panciln to match are also m Non-Brekkahle. Parker Over-8n? Duofold $7 Duofold Jr. *5 LadyDuofoU^ tkrr H,r Brother Pencil $4 t Jr. Over-eiee #3.50 8 Ledy r?-,-ilS "V ~~Z ^ -V'' w 1. DeKalb Pharmacy Crm'e . Si G.