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Nobody's Business Written for The Chronicle by Gee McGee, Copyright, 11*27. Swimming Fool Primer Oh, see the girl with her new onepiece bathing suit on. She has not yet gone into the water. In fact, be has not been here but three hours. Cau ahe swim? Yes, *he can swim if some gallant young man will hold one hand under her tummy while she kicks and squirms in the water. Can yoy see the girl over in the middle of the pond with a brown rubber cap on?" She jumped into the water just as soon as she arrived. She is bow-legged, and has a wart on her thigh, so she wears a two-piece bathing suit, and also a pair of stockings. She stays in the water nearly nil the time while she is here, and aneaks out when nobody is looking. Oh, watch the big man jump into the water from the spring-board. He ia a doctor. No, no, the girl with him is not his wife. She is at home 'tending to the children. He is the best diver in this school district, and g> can also swim 126 feet In two minutes, providing ho is trying to overtake the girl with the red cap on. My, my! The girl with the onepiece suit on is getting into the water. Nearly everybody has seen her by now. She expects to win the "Mermaid Contest" prize which will be offered July the Fourth. Her feet *L are size 3, her ankle measures 6 inches in circumference, her calves are graduated (not college now; calves don't go to college to be taught?they only go to be seen), her knee is almost perfect, her hips measure 36 inches, her waist stretches the tape to 27 inphes, her bust is a Venus de Milo model and her shoulders and neck are all that can be deaired. (No attention is ever paid to the face, eyes or hair. Figures and figures only count in beauty contests, and figures don't lie, but liars figure like thunder. It is very vulgar to carry soap and a wash rag to a swimming pool, but do you see the man and woman over in the north corner of the pond? Well, they are vulgar folk, and have dropped their cake of soap and it has sunk to the bottom. Watch the man; he is diving for the soap. Will he -x?-find it? Yes, he will find it with his foot, and bring it up between his toes. Watch the sweet mamas on the hank as their daughters parade in front of the stands where the men sit. The little children you see in swimming are riot swimming at all, but are wading around in the water. The child with the cigarette is losing his suit. (Ice, whiz! It has come off, and now he is exposed. Will nobody tell him? Oh, where is the swimming director. (Now midnight has come and the real necking parties begin while enroute home, hut as bathing >uilx expose a little bit more of the anatomy than do street dresses, swimming holes are very popular.) Now Dope This Out A 1 '.>21-model tourist is anybody who owns an old automobile and can buy fifty cents worth of gasoline and n pair of 10-ceait eye goggles and will drive 16 or 20 miles from home and ask about a camping ground. A lady with a pocket full of money and an empty "upper" went out to old man Sprout's house Inst week and bought an old rocking chair from him for fifty dollars. She could have gotten a better one for seven dollars, one dollar down, balance occasionally, at most any furniture store in town. She called such things "antiques," but we watched her "antics" and they seemed queer. 1 he June styles call for a thin dress that reaches within 4 inches of the knee, and a pair of bloomers that will reach practically the same landing and a p<rir of silk hose that comes up from the south and are rolled to the size of a small rope within 3 inches of the aforementioned j.-. bloomers (or-step-ins) and the space intervening between the lower and the nether garments is bare. That's why *o many of our deacons and elders are now suffering from sore eyes. * I went to a band concert the other night, and I noticed that every little while the trombone blowers would pick np Thermos bottles and stick them in the ends of their horns. The director turned his back on the audience, but after everybody got through playing he was nice enough to turn arotind and bow to us. They played two tunes during the dispensation of the program, but all of the other stuff wasn't a thing but music. The man that went along with me said that he enjoyed and appreciated every bit of it. He's a liar. He can't tell *, "Turkey in the Straw" and "The Moonlight Sonata," by Beethoven, from static on a radio. The textile association laid it on to the farmer at their recent meeting. They accused him of being lazy. How ' ridiculous! They insinuated that he was indolent. How absurd! They inL timated that he worked only 150 days in a year. How preposterous! They swore that he let the drought come and the frost fall and ruin the color and staple of his cotton. How tar* _ i~x . L. rible! They Accused him of growing short utaplc cotton intentionally. How horrifying! But 4*iey didn't say anything about getting the poor old farmers' sorry cotton for almost nothing, and 50 to 60 per cent below cost, nor did .they mention the fac*1 that they are getting practically ai much for cloth made from 12 cent cotton as they got for clothing made from 23 cent cotton, and they got a profit even then. The textile industry can help the fanner by paying a fair price for his cotton, and also by sending suitable weather during the crop growing season for the use of the plant in its effort to mature and produce the right staple and quality. What the poor old farmer has had ti) live through since 11*20 with prices, circumstances, and politics against him is not far from 9he next door to hell and ruination. Now, that's that, and it is all the truth too. South Carolina Induatrial Review Federal Reserve Board reports industry displaying increased activity with wages on upgrade and prices of commodities and manufactufes decreasing. Following is the weekly state-wide survey: Camden?43. A. Rhatqe erecting ' ginnery east of his cotton platform on Market street. Greenville?The textile plants of Greenville county have weekly payroll of approximately (190,000. Hampton?Plans under way for improved mail service here. Bethune?Construction of two new brick store buildings planned. Camden?Main highways of Kershaw county to be hardsurfaced. Pageland?Road from state line to Monroe to be part of highway system. Walhalla?Ice cream plant established in Walhalla. t Westminster?Plans under way for securing another cotton mill here. South Union?Farmers in this vicinity harvesting small grain. Camden?Nearly (2,000,000 to be expended on roads of Kershaw county. Gaffney?Southern railway company laying new rails here. vjreen Jfond?Contract awarded for carrying mail from here to Wiggins. Walterboro?Novit's store being improved. Orangeburg?Highway No. G to be on east side of Southern Railway from here to Branftiville. South Carolina has planned $4,500,000 road work for this year. Greenville?New $3,000,000 sewer system planned for this city. McCormick?Plans under way for cream station here. Walhalla?Work of paving W aihalla-Seneca highway progressing rapidly. i Seneca -Overhead bridge to constructed near Keowce. Lexington ? New filling station] erected on lot next to Chevrolet t agency here. McClellanville?Farmers in this , 1 vicinity shipping Iiish potatoes. Andrews?New Methodist church nears completion. Lancaster?Work has commenced Ion new post office building. I Pickens?-Waterworks plant to be I enlarged. More than 150.000 people in Wales do not speak English. Wateree Mills News Mr. Ernest Cadell of Bethune spent last week here with his sister, Miss Ada Cadell. Miss Cora Davis of Columbia is spending several weeks at the home J of her brother, Mr. Charlie Davis. | Mr. James Spradley and Mr. Lawrence Spradley of Blaney spent Hhe I week-end with their sister, Mrs. R. F. Greer on Third avenue. ] Mr. A. S. Llewellyn made a busiI ncss trip to Columbia last Thursday I afternoon. I Little Misses Effie and Marguerite I Odom of Hartsville are here on a I visit to their uncle and aunt, Mr. and I Mrs. J. Lunn. I Miss Beula Spradley of near Blaney spent Tuesday with relatives in the I village. I Mr. H. K. Hallett and Mr. H. F. Cobb of Thrift Manufacturing company were visitors at the plant on I Saturday. / , I Mr. Artie Knight of I^ancaster spent Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. B. W. Rudisill. Mr. James Horten and family of 1 Chesterfield spent Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. J. R. Braddock. Mr. and Mrs. V. M. Ellis announce the birth of a son on June 20. ' Mr. and Mrs. G. F. Greer announce ' J the birth of a son on Juuc 20^ | In an election held June 7 the fol- | lowing aldermen and mayor were i elected: Mayor, A. S. Llewellyn; I Aldermen, Block 100, Otto Hicks; I Block 200, Pervus Saunders; Block 800, Will Knight; Block 400. L. J. J Lunn; Block 500, R. F. Greer; Block 600, Sid Ellis; Block 700, C. M. I Brown; Block 800, M. L. Railey; Block 900, Kirby Jacobs; Block 1000,1 Will Sanders; Block 1100, Bud Helma; Block 1200. J. D. Carlos; Block 1800; D. Y. Montgomery; Block 1400, R. E. jDorrity; Block 1500, Frank Murphy. BASEBALL SCHEDULE OF WATEREE MILL TEAM - ' , j I^ft to rijfht: Bob Hawkins, catcher; Clyde Baker, pitcher; "Doc" Taylor, i third baseman; Ed. Barnes, short-stop, and Ed. Barnes, Junior. The Wateree team will play the I team from the Winnsbo^y Cotton Mills on the Wateree diamond Saturday afternoon. The Wateree team has been nlaying great baseball this season ami the management is continually strengthening the team. An interesting schedule of tgejnes has been arranged for the remainder of .the - summer and the Wateree Mills . people will be glad to have the support of the Camden fans. Only a small admission to defray the expenses of the team is charged and better crowds should see these interesting games. The schedule for Wateree Mills baseball team, for the remainder of the season, will be observed as follows: June 25, Wateree versus Winnsboro Cotton Mill at Camden. July 2, Wateree versus Liberty Hill at Camden. July 9, Wateree versus .Sonoco at Camden. ? _ July 16, Wateree versus Sonoco at Hartsville. July 23, Wateree -versus Thrift I Manufacturing company at Paw Creek, N. C. | July 30, Wateree versus \Vinnsboro Cotton Mill at Winnsboro. August 6, Wateree vesica Great Falls at Camden. August 13, Wateree versus Thrift Manufacturing company at Camden. August 20, Wateree versus Great Falls at Great Falls. A passport issued to Elkanah Watson one of five printed by Benjamin Franklin on his own press in Passy when he. was envoy to France brought $1,775 at a recent auction in New York. The navy hospital ship, U. S. S. Relief, reports an unusual caller, a sea lion which climbed up the patients' gangway by himself. Examination disclosed a deep cut, whicn was treated by a surgeon. The \ patient swam off but returned later for a call of thanks. ' About half the illiterates in North Dakota are Indians, most of whom are over sixty yearn <M afl to speak English, ' ???? EXCURSION TO I WASHINGTON, D. cl Friday, lily 1st, 1927 I Southern Railway SystJ Extremely |ew Round Trip Fares a# Foll0W|. I Columbia $12,90 I Camden 11.50 Rock Hill 11.50 J Chester 12.50 M Fort Mill 11.50 Proportionate excursion fares from intermedial other points. Excursion tickets good going on all regular July 1st and good returning on all trains to reacfcl inal starting point by midnight Wednesday, JyH 1927, except Crescent Limited., r j GK>od is Pullman cars upon payment Phllman J Celebrate July 4th in the Capifl MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAMES 1 Senators vs. Athletics July 2d I Senators vs. Yankees July 3rd I I Every minute profitable and pleasurable. ;~3 Reservations, etc., apply to Ticket Agents or;l W. E. McGEE, D.P.A., COLUMBIA, S. C>1 \< y : Modal S-S\> For the email family or where Vitrhen apace ia limited. 7y, aq. ft. ahelf apace. 48 ice cubea. ' Mod* I S-10 For the large tmmUy, the more elaborate boom. Ml4 aa. ft. abeif wpme*. 120 ice cube*. * Judge the new Servel w in your own home-on this 30-day offer COMB tn and sec for yourself. You will delight in Servel's charming simplicity of design . . beautiful white Duco finish . . . the clean porcelain lining of its spacious food compartments ... its greater capacity for freezing ice-cubes . . unlimited possibilities for making new chilled entrees and delicious frozen desserts. And what is most important Servel offers rea/ refrigeration?that keeps a/7 foods, in perfect condition?more healthful gp4 appetizing?never any waste or spoilage. Rent economy?beyond all comparison with oldfashfoned methods. Serve! employs the coldest refrigerant?and hence the most efficient?in household use. Ask us to demonstrstc the instantaneous flreesillg power of this remarkable liquid. This is an exclusive feature of the Servel system. > ^ The new Servel comet in three , popular size* v ?a range of selection from which to chooec the model best suited to your own requirements. MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE ; If, within 38 days niter installation of Servel, you jfre not fully satisfied with its service 4o ytn^ we will 'tjjfcefo' back -r and refund your money. Every part carries our one-year guarantee. Camden Furniture Company Camden, S. C. You can buy Servel on easy terms3 Kmf of tkm Nm( *s4e4e, m wifl Sm 8t??I iMfllMliala utoiju >i>r, ? 6%ir ecMBVMaieaMk